side notes

I had a dream last night about this very large pterodactyl that kept circling and flying around me, my house, and the neighbor's house. It was incredible to witness. I was slightly afraid of this magnificent beast, but I followed it and was in amazement. It would circle me if I remained still, and often got far too close for comfort, so I would move, just to make it fly away, or avoid my movement. I could see every detail of this beast. I could see a relatively small clawed finger at the tip of the wing. While circling me, about six feet away, it would leave circles in the ground from time to time with its claw. I was frightened, but fascinated. I followed it down to my neighbor's house, which is only a few hundred feet away. There I stayed on the corner of the house, watching it circle the house, getting closer and closer to the house as it circled. Finally it was so close I moved again, just to frighten it back. I then thought to catch it on camera, and pulled out my cell phone. I turned on the phone's camera, pointed it at the road, and saw a shiny mallard duck flying. Then the pterodactyl circled back around and snatched the duck up and flew off. I captured the final swoop and grab on my cell phone and felt content knowing I could share this with people.


Here's what has been happening in my life:
Last night before bed I was looking up at an almost full moon. The clouds were high and moving extraordinarily fast. The clouds were moving towards the south, which is rare for where I live. I remember looking up at the moon realizing that my string of bad luck was over! It has been a rotten month for me, and I believe that with the moon hitting full, it will all start to get better after this. I have had a nemesis lately, which has been making false allegations about me, in an attempt to hurt my friend, while gaining control of a situation. The man doing all this is truly a monster. We call him the Prophet. He believes he sees demons, and God speaks with him. He shakes, speaks in tongues, and forces everyone around him to believe his whacked out version of Christianity. Either way, my life has been very stressful lately because he has even lied to the police about me.
After seeing the moon, and the dream I had last night, I know that this monster will grab onto something else, and fly away. The only uncertainty I have remaining, is my desire to see the pterodactyl, and why I was fascinated by it? Do I feel that the pterodactyl represented my nemesis? No. Do I feel that it was a messenger of things to come with that situation? Yes. I’ve always been fascinated with dinosaurs, although pterodactyls have never been my favorite. It was a truly magnificent sight. Does anyone have any ideas on what else I might be missing? I thought about the relevance of it circling my neighbor’s house. My neighbor is a single mom whom is very close to me. I often watch her children for her. She is aware of my situation with the nemesis, and has been very supportive. Maybe being there was a way to feel support or strength while watching the pterodactyl. Help! I’d appreciate your input.

I'm pretty sure I just had my first lucid dream. It seemed kind of long at the time but I may only remember some bits and pieces now, gonna try to get down as much as I can. And it's weird, it feels so foggy now. Was a very intriguing experience. There was another dream before it but I want to get down as much of the lucid as I can so I'm writing it first.

I'm trying to recall what it was that triggered the reality check. I think it was that I was laying in bed or on the phone with my wife and she said something absurd (I think it had something to do with her saying she was on her way home from class at university, and I quickly realized she doesn't go to school in reality) that caused me to quickly consider that this isn't real and pull a nose-pinch reality check. I was able to breathe like my nose was just a little stuffy despite the nose-pinch. There was an obligatory, "Holy shit, I'm lucid!" moment. To keep the dream from fading from excitement and to calm down, I closed my eyes and (for whatever reason) pictured a topographical map key. Feeling it was stable, I opened my eyes, did another reality check (marveling of course at how weird it was to be breathing through a pinched nose, and then started wandering my environment. I seemed to be in what looked and felt like my old house on Broadway. I was a little unprepared for my first lucid; I hadn't thought of anything cool to do. The first thing I did was go into the bathroom. I figured since I was lucid I might as well start playing around with how well I could control it. I went to the door of the bathroom and decided I'd summon something on the floor outside and close the door to see if it appeared; I arbitrarily chose cake, and then I sort of glanced up and back down and it was there on the floor, slightly stale and with a big slice missing--I didn't even have to close the door. Happy, I went to the big picture window out front and continued experimenting by swapping between night and day by closing my eyes for a second then looking at the sky. I noted some unusual mixed success, namely whenever I wanted it to be day or night it would literally only be just starting day or night (ie at dawn or dusk). It's a little foggy if there was something occurring between now and what happened next, but the next thing I remember was that I was quickly running out of ideas for things to do, so I thought, "Well, I've always wanted to experience sex as a woman, let's give that a try." So I went back to the bathroom (it's notable that the previous time it was the bathroom from the old Broadway house, but it was now the bathroom from my previous apartment on Oak Street), stripped down, then looked in the mirror. Quick comment after the fact, the mirror worked just fine for its purpose in the dream, but before transforming I started in my normal dream avatar--which is myself as I recognize but much thinner. I was able to transform myself by pointing to the parts of my body that I wanted to transform and focusing on them. I started with breasts, then moved on to my penis. I recall being amused/annoyed that as I was shrinking my penis my foreskin wasn't shrinking with it so I had to do that separate. I started to get a little impatient so I just waved my hand around in front of my crotch and looked up at the ceiling to try to speed things up. Eventually everything looked pretty good, wasn't perfect, and I noticed that at some point I had lost all my body hair without intentionally trying to, but it was good enough for a first attempt. I was trying to decide what I wanted to do first with my new body when I noticed I sorta needed to pee so I decided to get that out of the way first, so I did. Just that was an unusual new physical sensation. There was some toilet paper sitting in the bathtub next to the toilet, so I grabbed some to clean things up a bit (since I was planning to shortly be playing around down there soon anyways); as I was cleaning up the phone rang and I answered it. The voice on the other end was some woman trying to tell me about how there were cloths in the tub that I could use for whatever but to leave them there so she could wash them later (I noticed here that it was hard to focus on what was happening now while I was on the phone trying to listen). I looked back into the tub and the toilet paper had been replaced by dark blue cloth. I shortly regretted flushing a few of them down the toilet. I checked the mirror one last time to see if things were still good and then went back out to the living room. I'm think there may have been somewhere here where I experimented with my new body, but if so unfortunately I don't remember it. Eventually there appeared in my house (as though she was familiar with the place) a thin, light-skinned black girl. Delighted to find another person to help me experiment with my new body, I asked her if she wanted to have sex with me. She seemed apprehensive; focusing on her I first removed her clothes then, noting of course that she too was female and thus would make proper copulation difficult, made her instantly grow a penis. She wasn't very amused by this, however, and she angrily stormed off to the basement. Shrugging, and once again bored, I decided to turn my attention on mentally recreating graphic-update remakes of old school video games I love in my mind for entertainment. I started with what I assume was Final Fantasy 6, though thinking on it after the fact the action doesn't match up properly with the game (though I specifically recall Terra's appearance). At some point this was interrupted with my wife calling, when she called what had been the video game scene taking up my entire stream of consciousness suddenly appeared as though I'd taken it out of full-screen mode on my monitor on my computer at my current apartment. I even had my headphones on, so I had to remove one of side of them to expose an ear for the phone like I usually do. I was annoyed at the distraction but answered the phone anyways. I don't remember the contents of the actual phone message, but I note again after the fact that it started to break my lucid concentration. The last part I remember now was going down to the basement where I found the black girl (who had now been transformed into some sort of small Pokémon-like creature) cuddling on a table with another small Pokémon-like creature. Saying, "Oh, so you'll have sex with him but not me!" and did my own storming-off-angrily upstairs and back to the living room, where I waved my hand and did some sort of mental slash across the table they were lying on and killing them both. My memory of this dream ends here, though when I woke I seemed to think that there was more non-lucid dream that came after this. I awoke just prior to starting this journal entry and did a quick reality check that passed, officially ending my first lucid dream.

Note to self: be wary about answering phones once you're lucid; it seems to help break lucid focus. In fact, I'm going to try to make an effort to start reality checks whenever answering and/or ending phone calls. I'm going to try to remember that the next thing on my agenda for practice when a dream goes lucid is controlling the environment; this time I kind of let the environment do what it wanted around me.

There was a dream sequence either prior to or leading up to where it went lucid. There was a long prelude to most of what I remember, but the bulk of what I remember was that there was this stretch of interstate that I would drive down as though I was in a GTA-ish sandbox type game and try to score points on this segment of highway. The segment of highway was kind of a long straight section with a curve off to the right. I'm thinking I may have lost more memory of this dream out of excitement for the lucid one, so maybe more will come back to me later.

R and T were talking outside my old primary school. T wanted to ask R something but was dodging doing it by conversing in Japanese. Both of them were using really beginner language but they did it perfectly and still managed to communicate quite coherently.
Unlike some non-English dreams I've had I remember clearly that they were actually speaking Japanese and not just something that I believed to be Japanese.
Eventually they had exhausted all of their low level language and rather than become more sophisticated T got to whatever the point of her being there in the first place was and the dream sequence ended.

This is significant to me because normally I only encounter a dream in Japanese when I'm study it a lot right before an exam/assessment but this morning's had no bleed-through effect at all.

Lucidity: 3/10
Vividness: 5/10
Length: ~5 Min.

OK, this one happened right after the other one. Again with the saying to myself repeatedly "I will have a lucid dream." So the dream started out at school and I was trying to talk with my friend Swazy. Then the next thing I knew I was walking by a house and I saw a girl that didn't look like Swazy, then I told her that I would make it up to her if she'd let me in. So we started to walk around the house and I was like "Hey, I don't remember coming here? Am I dreaming?" So I checked my hand and sure enough. The '9' that's usually there wasn't.

So I basically went along with everything that happened. Here's what happened. So we continued to walk around the house and I was like "how are we going to get on that roof?" Then I saw a ladder and I told that girl "Hey, we could go up on the ladder." So I ran towards it and climbed up. Then I was on the roof and waiting for that GUY? (yeah, she turned into a little 8 year old looking boy) To go in his bedroom window. I thought we were to going to go in the one to the left of the house so I tried to earthbend and make a little platform to land on. But it didn't work. We weren't going into that one anyways. We were going in the one to the right of the house. So when we got in I looked back at him and sure enough he was a little kid, so I tried to change him and I made him look like an old lady. Not what I was going for. I was like "wow, wow, wow, OK that's really bad." Then I saw a computer and I tried to look up Brittney Spears (I kinda forgot there's no internet.) But it didn't work. The dream faded away and I was back into the waking world.

Lucidity: 5/10
Vividness: 6/10
Length: ~2 Min.

So I woke up after a weird dream, got up, took a piss. And fell back asleep again. But only this time I was setting my intentions on having a lucid dream. I concentrated and concentrated. Then I slipped away into a lucid dream. I think this was probably a WILD, or was it something else?

Anyways, I faded onto a highway that was tilted. There were a group of people in front of me. I was getting naked (this lucid dream I was a girl part way through). So I was nude and lying on the cement, I could feel the cement below me. Then some guy asked me what I wanted, I can't remember what I said but he started walking towards me. I was like "no, not you." I wanted to have Lesbian sex, but then I kinda gave up on that thought and tried to change the scenery. I closed my eyes and imagined me lying on a bed on the highway, when I opened my eyes. The highway was tilted even more. So I tried it again. And it worked, I couldn't feel the bed but a truck started coming toward us so we started running toward it, then I tried to shoot spiderwebs from my hands. But it didn't work. So I said to my self "oh god please help us." Then it kinda went into slow motion and I was swinging. And so was the other guy. When we shot the webs our hands started to bleed. A lot. So we lost the truck and landed on the other side of the highway, then cars started to come. We were dodging cars and we got up onto the edge. I saw cars coming out of a road? Then I woke up.

I need to start writing in my bedside journal. I can remember that I dreamed when I wake up, but I'm too tired to write it down. This takes a little more commitment than I figured, but it's worth it. Just like a good golf shot...lol.

20 Aug

Recall was good last night, 4 or 5 ? dreams fairly good length and vivid

1)I was playing inside centre for the springboks, I was really amped and planned to really hurt the other team. I wasn't scared at all which is weird since they would all easily crush me. One of the players from NZ got up and gave a message before the game, I think I did too...

2)I stooped outside M's house and talked with hid brother T, He asked me if the bug zapper belonged to me (it was quite emotional - M is a friend of mine that died 2 months ago). C and my self were on the way home but we were walking and we were indoors, in a school or hospital with lots of corridors. I kept on turning on lights as we walked (they took time to switch on but I thought it was because they were old) We arrived at our place which was a room in a corridor, just before it was a kitchen area with plastic cups from C's holiday club and hundreds of empty green T-bags, C said it was from her doing fear factor with the kids???

3)We had another son L's age but I had memory of having neglected him because he was funny looking (he really was) He had orange hair and a really funny chin. I felt bad and was trying to make him feel loved and accepted by giving him lots of attention. He was complaining about having a sore bum and was wearing diapers???? I got some bum cream from C's bag and took him to a bathroom in a kitchen and put the bum cream on his bum (this is only funny if you're not a parent) It didn't seem to be the right stuff but he said he felt better. Then we travelled to my childhood home in Kimberley. C had forgot the house keys in the office but when we got there the lock had been forced by a wrong key that was stuck in the lock. We say that someone else's stuff was in the house like ornaments and stuff and found like a drunk homeless lady in W old room. I got the rage thing again and then we found the daughter and her boy friend in A's old room. In the dining room there were like 20 of them, I was so angry and threaten to hurt them and told them to go, I threatened to have E beat them up and he came out of the lounge to back me up....

4)I was lying on a sleeper couch watching cricket on tv, suddenly I'm in the game and I'm playing for South Africa. At some point I'm on the couch again and my game has been ruined by my parents messing with the channels

5)On top of signal hill in Bloemfontein riding a bike, following a really hot lady in a silver sports car, we're together. I get stopped by guards outside the observatory. One take my license and won't give it back as a joke, I get irritated and explain to the other guard that I need to go meet this lady. He gets the license back for me. I drive around Bloem looking for this lady. At some point I drive past a apartment block with people naked and possibly having sex on some of the balconies. I seriously consider going back to go watch them but decide against it. I pop some wheelies to show off and kind of fall. I stop on the curb and CA and her mom come out of their house and so good bye to guests, CH comes up to me and asks if she can ask me a question she asks a really important question but I can't remember the answer...

19 Aug

2 dreams recalled

1) I was some sort of protector in ancient times (assassins creed universe, schemas FTW). Someone was coming to assassinate an important person P but she wasn't my daughter in the dream. We were feeling pretty smug because we were well fortified. When the assassin came he was invisible but also not solid like a wind. I knew that he was there but the DC that was me didn't (weird, not sure if this was 3rd person). I eventually caught on but pretended not to know when the assassin was close to me I pushed the wind into the wall and it materialized into red marbles that fell to the floor, they quickly started coming together and returning ti their "ethereal" form but we collected them and I put them in a jar that P was holding. Se was a bit careless and almost let the marbles fal to the ground and I had to tell her to be careful.

2) I'm a police/EMT in hilbrow (most dangerous neighborhood in South Africa which is saying a lot) I'm knew on my job and my partner is a lady, we drive out on a call and I ask her how many call outs we get in a 8 hour shift, she say 6. We travel to the scene but on the way there is a beach and ocean next to us (false logic) I question her about Johannesburg having an ocean and we decide that we are in a tunnel with a projected ocean put there secretly by the government to keep people happy We arrive at our destination and M is bleeding from a stab wound to the shoulder 2 EMT's are already working on him we go and assist. I put my knife on his lap? and use my shirt to help stop the bleeding. We go into his garden to get water and the dream plot changes. I recognize this house because it is in a neighborhood where all the houses are the same. I have false memories of all the people that live in the neighborhood that I know. We go to another house and I have memories or did dream at some point that I was doing webcam chats with the people who lived here, 1 of them was Cacophony? from DV. The chats were sort of voyeuristic in nature they had set up cameras for other people to watch them live there (I had been watching the DV dream tube videos earlier in the day and there's one there by Cacophony). At the house one of us went into a basement thing that had a large machine and tried to operate it but got like sucked in in a conveyer belt or something. We then contacted the owners of the house (Cacophony) who then looked at heir own webcams to tell us how to get the guy out of the machinery, the guy happened to be Walter from Fringe...

Last night as usual my dream took place at my old high school, not the one i graduated from but the one i was expelled from and therefor had to finish at a different school. I was talking to Mr. Moscowitz which is unusual for seeing as how i hate that guy and he was having me walk around some parts of the school picking up pieces of crap with a shovel and weird rake. My p.e. teacher from the second school i mentioned was also there and telling me some kind of something that i guess was supposed to be inspiring and it seemed that he worked for principle Moscowitz now as well. The layout of the school was a little different than normal and parts of it were a concrete ground kind

I woke up and could only remember vague feelings in my dreams, which soon slipped away. Irritating to say the least, but I really wasn't intent enough last night as I was tired from a very long day at work.

I had a dream, but I don't remember it. I did when I woke up, but I forgot to write it down.

Conditions:
Fell asleep: 12:00 am
2400 mg of Omega 3-6 Fish Oil

COMMENT LUCID NON LUCID DREAM SIGN

Edit: This is a partial entry with one dream sequence omitted. See file 0818-0819; recall note: mall apartment, egg achievement, delivery man.

I've got a few fragments to record, unfortunately I ran into a problem wherein I woke up perfectly to remember them, thought about the dreams enough to crystallize them somewhat (or at least for sure the fragments I'm about to write down), but then I intentionally neglected to get up to write them down. This is something to work on overcoming in the future. I was reluctant to get up under the justification that it was sort of the middle of the work week and I was too tired to get up and write for a while to justify doing it. Plus some of the subject matter of the first one made me reluctant to bother to remember it at all (in fact, although I feel it's beneficial to write as much detail as I can remember, I'd still kind of rather any readers skip over this post). I would like to congratulate myself on the noticeably improved dream recall though, it's amazing what just a little effort can do to go a long way towards awakening at the end of dreams and remembering plenty of detail.

So here we go. As usually I'll try to keep it as chronologically in order as possible.

-

The next one was a shorter fragment. I was with my immediate family. Everything seemed kind of retrograde; my brother was younger and both my parents were heavier as though it was before they both had gastric bypasses. We walked through a small junkyard into the waiting room of what looked like a car repair shop, but was apparently a combination car repair shop/walk-in clinic. Everyone sat down in a chair to wait but me; I paced around the room being annoyed and angry that once again people I'd known for years had nothing but contempt and disregard for my medical opinion. At some point I noticed my mother was missing a foot, and I thought, "Diabetes." Curiously, she was still able to walk fine despite the missing/invisible foot. She got up to ask the receptionist what was taking so long, she sounded frustrated, in pain, and desperate. She then went and sat down at a different spot. She was trying to partially cover her face with her coat, but I noticed she was crying. I continued pacing around and making mental notes about my family members until the dream ended.

One last quick note: just went to start breakfast and I remembered one more super short fragment wherein I noticed that the free expired 2-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper I brought home from work a few days ago expired in 1995.

Comment Dream Lucid Dream

Had a MILD-1 class again last night. When I woke up after only 3 hours of sleep I couldn't remember much from my dreams except for:

I'm in a huge imaginary city, together with a Highschool mate of mine. We're going to a festival, but I've got a broken bike and he's got sore feet from his rollerskates. Going strong >_<.

------

This dream is from when I awoke this morning. Apparently I continued my previous dream.

The festival is over. My mate's gone and so is my bike. On my way home I encounter an old lady that can't seem to find her own home anymore. She tells me she lives in a street called the Bokken (which would translate to Bucks in english, the animals). I tell her I know where that is and lead here home. It felt like quite a time before we got there, but dreams can be deceivable like that. In the end we arrived at the Bokken though, a street on the bank of a gracht. I remember the entire scene had a yellowy sepia filter over it. On the bank were four copper alligator statues, but I didn't pay them much attention.
Fast forward and I'm a secret agent together with two of my housemates. We're still in the vicinity of the Bokken, but at a small public square. No one's there except us. I spot a laptop and a small beamer on a bench and walk towards them. As soon as I touch them I know this is a laptop from a female spy of our 'enemy corporation' and I decide to hack it. We're after an (unknown) item and this laptop could very well tell us where it is. It runs on windows 98 and takes a couple of minutes before I extract the information: that we need to infiltrate the house of this spy and retrieve our item there.
Fortunately, his house is very close and no one's home. We enter, go upstairs to her room and search for the item. One of my colleagues finds it and he leaves together with my other colleague as backup. I'm to remove our traces and follow them later on. Whilst doing that I hear she-spy coming home and going upstairs. The room has two doors and I hide against the wall of one of the doors. She-spy enters through the other door and I try to make my escape. She's too fast though and knocks me down on the head. Game over.

Fortunately I can try again (wtf?!). I find myself hiding against the wall again, but this time she enters through this door. I rapidly bash the door against her head and make my escape. Outside I find myself in a semi-lucid dream where I jump over hedges. I know I can decide what hedge to jump over. Sometimes the dream 'doesn't listen', but I do have the sense of control. Quickly lost that, though.
I reunite with my colleagues at the four alligator statues in the Bokken. Apparently we're to use the item in combination with one of the statues but agent H tells me it isn't working. I quickly check an online FAQ and it says we forgot to rub the statue with a special type of oil. We don't have that though and neither do we have the time, because the enemies have found us. It's time to prepare for the final battle. Slowly the scene around me changes into a psychedelic disco painting. Afterwards it doesn't make sense at all, but in my dream it was perfectly logical. People killing each other of to get that item, the environment turning and twisting around us. In the end, I passed away too and woke up.

----

Missed dreamsigns:
- Me being a spy
- Dying and getting a second chance?
- The semi-lucid hedgejumping sequence
- The psychedelic final battle

Spoiler for Psychedelic Final Stage:

I am now officially a 1/5 of the way to the 100th Wave. Yay! No dream. Awww! I did realise that it has only been 20 days. It felt so much longer. Really 21 days ago I was in my Pre Dreams. Now im in my Post Dreams

I am getting more and more scared of fluctuating results when I actually do stuff in the day. Or even worse, when I stress for the next day. I see to always get a crappy day, then an awsum day, then a crappy day. I guess today's gonna be great then, since last night was a fail. Ld perhaps? Dunno. Wel see

Countdown: 12 nights left

I remembered my dream when I awoke, but laziness coupled with being tired from the day before resulted in my not recording the dream until 30 minutes of dozing had gone by, at which time I had forgotten the dream. *dissapointed in myself* But I guess thats life.