Recent DJ Posts

It seems I’ve gone to a bank to figure out why I can’t get my checking account hooked up with Paypal. They’ve given me a form to fill out—I’m sitting at a large table with a few other customers scattered around it while a female employee stands behind a desk at one end of the room.

But the form is proving quite frustrating. All the questions are so unclear that I keep having to call the woman over to explain what information it’s asking me for. And it seems that a lot of what it’s asking for is other people’s information—relatives, friends, people who would be able to do a particular thing for me.

I call the woman over to explain yet another question—it claims to be questions 4 through 10, although it seems to be a simple yes or no question. What’s this one asking me for? She tells me that one doesn’t actually count for anything, and I can write anything I want there. Well, fine then. I write: “yes?/no!” below it. The woman seems a little dubious. But if it doesn’t matter, then presumably it doesn’t have to make sense. Besides, I say, how often do you get the chance to answer a question like that? And she seems to accept that.

I had hoped to have this matter settled today, but since I’m going to have to get in touch with so many people to get the information I need to fill the form out, it looks like it’s going to drag out for a while longer. But then it dawns on me: this thing is making me think about the ways I’m connected with other people. Could it be that that’s what this was really about?

Later that night, in a different dream, I’m going to a place like a big department store with a group of people. A lot happened in this one, but in the only part I can remember well, we have all met up at a café that's part of some larger space. We sit at a couple small, round tables to one side of the counter. There are some nice-looking pastries on display, but I don’t recall anyone actually ordering food.

I was hoping to sit next to Katya, but she ended up at the other table, and other people sat down there before I could move over. Instead, I seem to be sitting beside an old schoolmate, someone I haven’t seen or even thought about since we were both 10. We talk about life back then. She mentions a particular boy, saying she remembers I had a lot of classes in common with him. I can’t remember whether I did or not. It’s not something I would have taken note of. I say that I remember having a lot of classes in common with another boy, though. She doesn’t remember who he is at first. But then she says, “Oh, the one with the naked fairy dream?” This is referring to the dream records that are displayed here in this café. It seems they were collected by Judge what’s-his-face from some of the students back then as part of some project—maybe like a public display of kids’ artwork, like you see sometimes— and by some massive coincidence, they ended up here, where we are.

I have my bouzouki in my lap, in its case. I’m thinking of taking it out and playing it. It would have nothing whatsoever to do with anything that happened in the past, and that would be nice.

22.4.18

I was convicted of a sex crime and dealt 3 weeks in prison based on flimsy charges and an unfair trial (Just a dream, nothing like this happened irl). The dream started right as I arrived at my cell. My mother was tearfully accompanying me to my cell and she lingered for a bit before the staff made her leave. It wasn't really a prison, and it wasn't really a jail. It looked and felt more like a mental institution to me. My cell was located right behind the front office of the building, behind a bulletproof glass and the front desk employee. The cell was fairly large, with an open door to the other cells, a bathtub, and a chair. Quite unusual indeed. The floors were carpet and the only wall was padded. The was a few children in the area, as well as a few elderly folk, and one or two people in their forties who seemed to be checked out of reality. The kids were playing, the old folk were chatting away as old friends, and I was sitting in a chair moping about how unfair the trial was, and how I didn't even get to change my clothes. I was only going to be here for 3 weeks, but I so didn't deserve to be here. I thought I'd focus on my dreams during this time and dream of the freedom that was soon to come.

A few days passed, and a good friend of mine decided to visit. I don't know him in my waking life, but we sure knew each other in this dream. He was a black man with a goatee and dreadlocks. He was very kind and honest, and he had a passion for music. He agreed that the trial was not just, and he wanted me to know it by singing me a song he had written about me. He started with some beatboxing, and I tried to talk him out of it. His singing would surely get the two of us in trouble for disturbing the environment. As he started the song I stopped protesting. He sang a familiar tune, but it is not one I recognize whilst awake. However, he had the words changed to reflect my situation and used my name in the chorus, so that was neat. As expected though, he did get caught and was evicted by the staff. He was banned from the building for a total of 3 weeks plus fines for "damages" and "crimes."

I reflected on what had happened, while sitting again in my chair moping about my life (how depressing..). Those aforementioned kids mentioned earlier started taking and playing with some toys I had sitting on a table in front of me. I protested at first, but then realized I really didn't need them anymore and I let them have the toys. Fast forward to an evening that I am not sure is that one or a later one. I was alone in my cell. Everyone else was asleep, nobody was near. I was soaking in the bathtub still in my clothes. The water was draining, and I looked to my right to see my dog lying next to the tub. I thought it quite peculiar that they let me have my dog with me in prison. The tub then changed appearance. The side of the tub became the back of a sofa. The dog had then gotten soaked by the draining water from the tub, and then made a scene that caused the staff to come check out what was going on. I was afraid my dog had caused me to get a longer sentence, but after some explaining they seemed to buy the idea that it wasn't my fault.

Fast forward to the next morning, where my dogs were no longer present and a nurse brought me a small bowl. I first thought it was a bowl full of meds that was being passed to everyone, but before I could really question it the nurse stuck something in my mouth and pressed it against my gums. It had a very distinct taste. I asked the nurse what it was, and what purpose it served as I tried to keep it pressed against my gums. She said it was just a ginger lolipop to act as a breath mint since my breath really smelled...I knew the taste was familiar! I didn't protest to the bad breath and explained to her my poor dental hygiene is an issue that builds on itself. If you aren't in the habit, then your teeth start to rot, then it hurts to get in the habit until you get the teeth worked on, which in turn hurts and costs money, etc.

The scene shifted to another evening. It shouldn't be long now before my sentence would be over I thought, as I sought out a bathroom to relieve myself. The other prisoners, or patients as it seemed, were all getting ready for a dinner that was being served in the other room. The thought came across my mind that maybe my sentence was not 3 weeks and maybe this wasn't a prison at all. Maybe it really was a psych ward and I would be trapped here for the foreseeable future. I quickly dismissed the thought until I heard a ruckus from the other room. There was a discussion on television between Billy Graham and another person of importance about my particular situation. It got quite heated and very political, and somehow it escalated all the way to the United Nations. I walked out of the bathroom and when I went outside it was a different building I was in. There was 3 stories and it was very open with many windows. I took a seat at a long conference table as I listened to those in the room discussing the situation. The original patients were all gone now, and I was surrounded by people in business suits. Someone had declared that this issue was to be taken seriously, and to defend against those who would argue in the negative. A group of assassins entered the building and I associated them with the group Talon from Overwatch. A fight broke out and I saw a massive Roadhog appear by me to protect me. He had to have been at least 8 feet in stature, and very wide. He was so realistic I was paralyzed in awe. He used his hook to grab hold of an enemy and I woke up.

Earlier these weeks only had a couple Jamie dreams. In one i was wandering around toronto looking for her. In another i was playing a chopin waltz on piano and she was nearby. Others were kind of too personal to post.

Not without my dog.

A dream of going on a giant boat ship. I realized i didn't have my dog with me. The dream rewound and I was in a house with my dog. I ran around looking for his leash. I go on the ship before it left but somehow my dog got left behind again. I went to the captain's deck and told them to go back for my dog. The guy said ,"yeah yeah."

It rewound again and i got my dog on the ship and we took off.

This is my PDF version with the drawings in-line. Otherwise the drawings will be at the end of the post.
2018-04-22 dreams and drawings.pdf


Round 1 of Dreams
The first time I woke up I just remembered a little bit. One was something of a lucid dream cycle and they mentioned the Lucid Saint. It wasn’t refering to the podcast but it made me think of it. Also there was something in my sister’s
room but I couldn’t remember any more.
Round 2 of Dreams
These got a little more dreams going on. I remember my friend had 4 hero sandwiches. He offered me some. I didn’t
want one because I had already had dinner. Even though I felt hungry I would rather wait until breakfast.
I remember talking to him about how he was going to teach foam rolling. He was wondering if he should speak in the “I” or “You”
Position, something that always confuses me. When I put on my sun glasses, my vision got a lot clearer.
I had an app on my phone. He told me the code was 1-2-2-2-2-2-… And more 2’s, to get a special app. So I typed that in but it was
hard to press the touch screen.
We had an audio book playing with a heavy bass instrumental. Some women upstairs wanted us to turn it down so we turned off the instrumental part. I’m not sure if there
was anything else in that dream.
Round 3 of dreams
There was something with a bee type of thing that scared me.
This was a long one. I dreamed that we had to go on a trip. But we were taking a short bus ride home. My friend was
throwing a pill around and picking it up.
I remember I was talking to someone about Astral Projecting. And to go if it feels safe but not to go if it doesn’t. Then I dreamed of my body going to sleep paralysis and being unsure if it was safe or not. But a
light flickered in the loft that seemed paranormal. That was when I knew it was a dream. But I didn’t know it was a dream within a dream!
So then a female fell or jumped down from the ceiling and onto my friend.
At first this scared me. But it turned out okay.
I woke up from that dream but it was still a dream when I woke up. Another friend was there and he had a girlfriend. She had black hair with a big red dyed part and wore denim.
My friend went in the other room and she talked about how I don’t need to be some iron man. I kind of knew what she meant. Then we went out onto the roof. It overlooked water.
I got the feeling she might be a smoker. So I hinted, “I give points to help people
quit smoking.” I said this as a way to gauge her reaction as if she smoked or not. Worried that if she was a smoker, it would be a problem that she came around. I didn’t know it was a dream any more.
It turned out she was a smoker. My friend came
out. They were sitting together in a sky light. I started to tell my friend she smokes. He said that’s not okay. I felt relieved that he wouldn’t condone her smoking.
Then she started to try to kiss him. I felt like this was a way of her trying to
manipulate him to get him to change his mind. I felt threatened by this so I kept saying, “Don’t listen to her! She is an evil, manipulative addict! She is just trying to manipulate you!”
Her eyes began to glow red. I didn’t know it was a dream, so I was so
surprised at this. “Look! Her eyes are even turning red!” And they did. First just the pupils but then her whole eyes. I tried to draw a picture but it was too scary. Her teeth got sharp and her face morphed a little, like Monster Form of Frieza almost. Like a venus fly trap mouth.
I was sure I had talked my friend out of having her over. But then she began to come towards me. She slowly inched towards me
and I backed away. She was holding some writing utensils. It seemed like she was going to stab me with them. I thought of going to hide behind the door.
It turned out to be such a fearful dream that I consider it my first official nightmare in a while. I have
a high thresh hold for what I consider a night mare but this was truly one. In fact even while I was awake and recording the dream, I felt like I could see her face in my mind. I felt like if I opened my eyes, she would actually be there in my physical room.
Round 4 of Dreams
It took a little while to fall asleep. I had some sniffles developing. But I had a dream that ended with this green candle wax man holding a green candle. He lit the candle, and began to melt along with the candle.
I couldn’t remember the parts of the dream before that.
A dream flash happened where two kids in green
coats were flying towards me. With their backs facing me. I got startled and woke up.
Empty hoodie: I was at the mall. There was something about getting ice cream before they closed the metal gate thing. I got locked into a jail cell thing.
I might have got lucid but I didn’t put this in my L D count because I’m not sure if I was. I saw myself in a mirror. I had on a brown hoodie. But where my head and hands should have been, I had only a black void.
I squeezed out from between the jail cell bars and a friend carried me upstairs.
Stop Smoking/ High fence arboretum: In this dream I was walking through the part of the arboretum near the mulch piles. I actually smelled smoke. I rarely have a sense of smell in dreams but in this one, I did. The fences were high picket fences, not there in waking life. I didn’t know it
was a dream though. I looked around to see what trail it was coming from. Up around the bend? Behind me? To the left?
I yelled out stop smoking twice and heard a cough. It was from behind me. A guy with a dog. He yelled back, “It’s a disease!” I tried to run away. Then I woke up with a startle. Lots of emotionally intense dreams tonight.
Round 5 of Dreams
My sister asked me to do the dishes. So I helped her out with those.
There was a commercial of a guy in a foreign zoo. I felt a sense of dream de ja vu. I felt surprised at how long the commercial went. That’s what was funny
about it. It took up so much time. The guy joked around with some animals. Then he stood on a log and put his arms overhead like a bear. And some bears imitated him.
Baby commercial:
There was a commercial with a woman and a baby.
Then another woman sang a song about how other people can have their issues but you can be free of yours. In a nice yodely voice.
I had a little false awakening after that. The commercial draems were
funny because I felt like I saw them before.
Notes
I got more details on my voice recorder but this was just off the top of my head. What I notice is more of the dreams from my final
sleep cycles tend to be the ones that I remember easily the next day and can draw drawings from. The earlier dreams I don’t remember until I listen to them (more often).

Nothing much happened for the first three days (Day 66 to 68). Being suddenly woken up in the morning really screws with my recall.

Day 69:

Fell asleep at: 11:00 PM

Woke up at: 6:40 AM


Dream 72: Cut Finger

For some reason I can't quite explain, I reached for the knife and cut myself on my finger. It was a searing, burning pain. God, I hated it.


Dream 73: Falling Deeper Into Sleep

In my bedroom, nighttime. The lamp is on and the TV has been turned off. I hop right into bed after turning the lamp off. A maelstrom of random and incoherent thoughts swirled around me when I was near sleep, but I can't really remember any of it.


Dream 74: Chameleo-guin

This one was a bit random.

So, a penguin is trying to avoid capture by four robots (One of which is a walking trash can). First he hid in a filing cabinet, with the trash can bot walking by him, and then he hid inside of a picture frame, disguising himself as a dove. Once the robots went past, he decamouflaged himself and hopped out of the picture frame. One of the robots finds him and sets off an alarm letting the others know he's there.

Then the dream ended.


Day 70:

Nothing much to report.


Day 71:

Fell asleep at: 11:40 PM

Woke up at: 9:00 AM


Dream 75: Yer Me Best Mates

The dream centered around me (A sort of omnipotent force in the dream) trying to save a pirate ship from a bundle of dynamite that was placed on the ship. I couldn't for the life of me find the explosive. And when I did, I discovered it wasn't a stick of dynamite after all, but a modern-day explosive, so splashing seawater onto it wasn't going to make it any better.

I then switched to first person POV. The rest of the pirate crew was solemnly watching the night sky, almost in horrid anticipation of when the bomb was going to explode. One of the pirates was even playing music on a guitar. It was oddly relaxing, but we knew the end was coming.


Day 72:

Fell asleep at: 12:00 AM

Woke up at: 9:00 AM


Dream 76: Yet another failed RC

I'm pacing around the parking lot in front of the band hall, trying to do reality checks. I do the nose plug RC and breathe in some air from it, but ultimately disregard it. I do the finger through palm RC, but that didn't work at all.

I also remember stumbling into the locker room, but then immediately walking back out.

After all that I end up in my sister's car along with my brother. He talks to her about some award he got, and I immediately tune him out.

Morning of April 22, 2018. Sunday.



I am on the porch of the Loomis Street house in late morning. There is conversation relating to my oldest son. Zsuzsanna is present. I find a narrow cardboard box that is just large enough to hold a human forearm. Inside are two bones, both from human arms, but also deformed, with at least one or two miniature arm bones growing out of the first. This puzzles me, but I realize it is from when our son was being given human remains, as he is a doctor (not in real life) and this relates to his medical training and writing of essays. Apparently, a slow-witted woman had donated her son’s body to medical science after he died.

I go into the house (still the Loomis Street house). Looking out beyond the doorway of what should be the north bedroom is an outdoor setting instead. Our son is sitting near a corner of the house. Two unfamliar young people, male and female, walk about near one other unfamiliar person. Loud heavy metal music is playing. Our son begins to talk to me, but it is not him (though my dream self does not consider this). It is actually Johnny, a close friend from school days, who had said he wanted to be a doctor when he left school.

Eventually, my dream self becomes distracted and RAS mediation more fully kicks in. RAS is rendered as a brown bear that tries to come in from the front door to the porch (thus implying the typical doorway waking symbolism established when I was a toddler over fifty years ago). I am not scared (as I am likely subliminally aware of being asleep as with the majority of my dreams that are not viably lucid). Still, I do not want the brown bear getting into the house. I manage to close the door and keep it closed. (I have no focus on the doorway erroneously open to the outside from the north wall of the dining room.)

From here, I go to the back of the house, where another large brown bear sees me and runs away, just managing to squeeze through the back door, to close it behind him.

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Faux lucidity is implied due to the odd RAS mediation dynamics, though it is usually not related to liminal dream control as it seems to be here. The part with the arm bones was from lying on my arm to where it had become numb.

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