All DJ Entries

+(i) politicians and an election?

+ bowling, get a spare (10 pin)

+(f) observe fight in area with tall walls

+ wild dogs on the hill, they attack, I fight back with Thor's hammer

+ in a guy's house, I'm walking around his bedroom on the upper floor, I need something from his computer but his amber screen is jumpy and glitchy, I need to press the "sync" button and it helps a little bit

+ cousins present
I'm reading a program written by my dad's cousin: her children all feature in the show and so do I. Then I read it again and I see "too bad <my name> could not participate". I see one guy's face clearly, I think he's the son of one of the daughters of my dad's cousin, but I get that family confused with some friends of ours. I think his features are similar in all the male children in that family, they all look like their mother -- but that mother is not a cousin, she's just a friend of ours.

+(f) old man picks up a toy / summons it from nowhere? Riding in a truck.

Not having any dreams at all lately. Not sure why. Maybe I'll have more soon, but I'm not going to update again until I do. I don't want 50% of my DJ entries to be like this.

Private
Will this post (???)

9mins

[url]http://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PL173DA027E7965BCA&v=bmy9L10UdQg[/url]

Last night I was exhausted and processing some emotions. I had a state in my sleep where I could see my son and other images but could not touch them or interact with them. I guessed I was in a state of frozen sleep and remembered advice received here not to worry about it and it will go away after a bit. It was like I was frozen and could not function but could see different things. I recognised it was a dangerous state and needed to be freed. I waited patiently and came out of it after what seemed like a few minutes. Thanks to dreamviews I was able to relax and free myself. Happy Days.

Morning of September 11, 2015. Friday.



In my dream, I had been making love to Zsuzsanna in a semi-lucid state and suddenly feel a bit more perceptive than usual in such a situation. She looks beautiful and goddess-like. I tell her that I “brought her here” as an experiment and for her to look around the setting (even though she has already been present in many dreams about Cubitis as well as La Crosse). Outside, I see a beautiful garden and layout. There are unrealistically large coleus blumei everywhere (instead of all the huge prickly pears and ugly caterpillar-infested red canna lilies that were eventually practically everywhere in reality prior to my family’s move back to Wisconsin), some in large plant pots placed in perfect lines along the shed and parts of the backyard. The beauty of the imagery is astounding.

There is a strange “division” of time. Even though I am my present self on one level, “my” house is otherwise empty (other than my own manipulation of the setting and “preserving” of how it was before) and supposedly in the distant past. Lisa’s old house immediately to the south, however, is still technically “cursed” and empty, and the outside covered with several layers of mold and old vines, parts of the front porch blocked up with concrete blocks (and mostly as it presently looks now in real life). I want to look in the house, but my wife does not like the idea. However, my motive is pure and to confirm that the house is in complete ruin and unfit for a human being to even be within several feet of. I do not even care that people apparently cannot enter and leave with their sanity intact. I feel good about the idea of an empty ruined house covered with mold and vines next to “my” in-dream home. It makes me feel alive and happy and with an enhanced sense of privacy.

Somehow though, we end up in town. I seem to be on my own for a time. I do not recognize anyone (even though they are around my age or older). I am in what seems to be a small store. An older male is seated on a chair near the entrance. Even though I do not know anyone in the immediate setting, I ask him if he remembers me. He has no idea who I am. I tell him that I will travel back into the past, meet him and be his friend for a few months, and then come back to the present and ask him if he remembers me then. He seems to agree to this odd concept and arrangement, but it still does not work. He then does not even remember what I had asked him the first time around (before I went to the past). I become annoyed and leave.

I eventually find myself in a tavern. There are quite a few people sitting on bar stools. One of them looks like a very old version of Lisa, perhaps about seventy (which makes no sense as she is younger than me). Her parents look like young teenage versions of themselves even though they are still her “real” parents. Her “mother” says that she has to come home and her “father” does not even want to look at her, though just tells her to come back home while even blocking his face with his right arm for a short time. Not many want to look, apparently, because her face is extraordinarily distorted. I notice that her mouth looks quite bizarre, her teeth two times longer than they should be and metallic as well as being at various random angles. I do not question either the “impossible mouth” or the teenage parents of a very old lady (even though I had been semi-lucid at the beginning of my dream).

Eventually, I am distracted by the behavior of the “parents”, and decide to heal a few people in the area. I go outside and see the same male I had talked with earlier. From here, miniature clouds of soft blue fire float and waver upward into the air from my hands and this is supposed to be “restoring” elements of the town and people somehow. The male seems to become a bit younger (or at least healthier in overall appearance) and more cheerful.

---

Hey 🌀☀️⭐️💫
Got lucid this morning at around 6 am
Woke at 2.45 pursued myself to wbtb -
Got my moon time coming up so emotions are a bit high - got back in bed at 3.40am
Laid on back for about an hour relaxing + Mantra and Vis - fell asleep a couple of times - turned on to side - same again - Then went back on to back at about 6am and ..... got Lucid

Felt myself really trying different ways To help myself into the dream with body movements and mantras : at one point It was usual HI and noise but I am imagining I am on a roller coaster ( did this spontaneously as I went with the flow of the noise - I am pleased I was able to adapt myself into the dream! ) with my eyes closed going this way and that ( into the dream I felt I could open my eyes at one point so I very gently opened them into the dream - 😄
🌅 So I was running about in a busy train station / Mall - I saw my bf and went running over and jumped on his shoulders
" We are dreaming and this is my dream !"" Do you know?" I energetically asked him
No he didn't ...as he was preoccupied and couldn't be present he said something about being busy ( which he is in wl at the mo) - I tried again then gave up and went to have food at one of the food stalls - it was great as I had never eaten in LD before so I enjoyed it - Self awareness is low tho and Memory too - had fun tho

Morning of September 11, 2015. Friday.



The intersection setting has been more recurring of late, though I am not certain as to why. I suppose it could relate to a metaphorical “crossroads” in regard to trying to solve certain mysteries through extensive research and not really making as much progress as I would like (though I have achieved some amazing new breakthroughs). On the other hand, it could simply be an in-dream metaphor for the choice of remaining either at apex lucidity or choosing to become passive. Although this dream is lucid, it becomes quite distorted, as I mostly remain passive in order to observe, especially things like writing, though which I cannot fully read at any point as it is.

My dream seems to start near an unknown intersection, though vaguely reminds me of Stadcor Street (in Australia) as well as King Street (in America). The setting is ambiguous though and seems to be indoors and out on the street at the same time. In fact, I even willfully shift our location a bit so that the “floor” of the setting seems to move out of the range of any potential traffic (though I do not see any vehicles approaching at any point.) I notice that my wife Zsuzsanna, who is seated on her knees, and who seems only slightly puzzled at my manipulation of “sliding” our dream placement, has some sort of computerized display on the “floor”, probably an iPad, though a little bigger. The fairly large writing is in landscape format.

I try to read it and become completely clear and lucid for a short time, though this does not do much good as the writing makes no sense at any point. I notice the phrase “dog mxtre”, which I take to mean “mixture”, though it is mostly random letters and gibberish. There is something like “coup de gras” but mostly the screen is an incoherent mess of nonsensical words. The phrases do change a few times with one or two actual words here and there, but just when I think I am getting something interesting or potentially meaningful, I realize it is solely gibberish.

During this time I find a newspaper article on events in a park that also somehow relate to sexual acts that are not permitted. There seem to be at least a hundred by-laws that specifically limit the nature of sensuality. It seems very clinical and yet senseless, as if society is ruled by a “mechanical” mentality that does not even recognize the nature or pleasures of organic life. One of the phrases relates how the heel of the foot is not to be used for gratification in making contact with the partner’s bottom (regarding the cleft). I do not go on to read much of the rest of the long list.

From here, I seem to be in a room with my wife, though my mother (deceased October 2, 2002) is also present, along with a few other people in the background. The news is on, on television, and I go closer to watch it carefully, though only semi-lucid at this point. The news announcer is making references to how fantastic and amazing the sound of a snow leopard is. He goes on and on as the screen mostly shows the head of the snow leopard in profile, facing to the right. After several minutes, the snow leopard still has not made a sound, though I continue to watch. As the news announcer goes on and on in praise, there is not much movement of the animal. In fact, it looks a bit annoyed by the presence of the television cameras.

Finally though, it makes a roaring sound, still with its head facing to the right of the television screen. However, it does not seem quite real. The news announcer continues to jabber mindlessly. Eventually, the snow leopard seems to speak in a very raspy and breathy voice, “Hank…has not been…ly…ing” (“Hank has not been lying” - in reference to the implied but false “honesty” of the news announcer), which is very low-pitched yet still with a discernible melody. I am aware however, that the video has been edited quite amateurishly to make the mouth seem to move with the words.

My mother rolls her eyes and subtly shakes her head and looks frustrated and somewhat angry over the news announcer’s attempts to trick people with ridiculous manipulated video and audio.

Yet again, my dream renders unlikely things my wife had seen with no possible way of me knowing. In this case, it was two elements; my wife being endangered by a thoughtless driver while walking near an intersection and also, as odd as it sounds, my wife had recently seen something on her own on television about an owner of a gray and white cat (similar colors as a snow leopard) trying to make it look and sound as if it was talking while it was meowing. However, my wife said the commentator in that case made a note that it was obviously fake due to the owner manipulating its sound as the camera held the same orientation as the image in my dream according to my wife. I have never been thoughtless enough to think something like that could be coincidence, especially as it happens continuously and often on higher levels of precision in imagery and events. I continue to remain baffled, not by continuous precognition and remote viewing since earliest memory but how other people do not experience this (or at least claim not to for whatever reason - it just does not add up).

As usual I know I had a lot of dreams but can only remember a small part of them.

1) I found myself at a medical clearing station. There had been a chemical incident at a swimming pool. The doctors there were French, and I was taking over as lead doctor, then those doctors left. I was shown some of the injuries, everyone had deep holes where the chemical had eaten into them. I took over and went into a back room and talked with the other doctors, can't remember too much about the conversation, I was looking out of a window and saw some more ambulances coming along the road and wondered why we had not been told to expect anyone else yet. The new patients arrived and I was too busy looking for gloves, the other doctors sorted out the new arrivals and gave them all B12 injections I didn't know why but it looked impressive.

2) Fragment: In a house that was all white and single storey, narrow. I went into a room and hung something up. Not sure how I got there. I remember that there was a field next door and I could see someone doing the mowing at the top of a small hill.

3)Vague memory of having to get back somewhere. Cannot remember anything else.

4)A distinct memory of looking at my hand and seeing 3 fingers. Didn't trigger any lucidity though.

Still no more lucid dreams.

Dream 1:

I was at a party that was being held at an underground restaurant. I’m not sure what was initially being celebrated, but several of my old childhood friends were there, as well as a few family members. Upon entering the restaurant, I was immediately greeted by an overly enthusiastic Tom Cruise Waiter. I started to realize it was a dream at this point. He showed me to my table then threw down a big plate filled with fries. MMMmm I was really excited and I started to just devour them. Each time they would disappear, some waiters would immediately give me another plate. I kept eating until I started to genuinely get tired of eating fries, which is weird for me since I love them. I looked around and saw that there were some people that had fried chicken sandwiches. I asked the waiters for one of those but they flat out refused to give me one! They brought me this delicious cake-like desert. I had to remind myself that all dream food is animal and cruelty free, then I started dig into the cake with my bare hands. I felt like a ravenous animal.

I looked around while eating and it was apparently my birthday party now, and I was the king of these lands. There were also a lot of teen girls dancing in a circle in the center of the room while flashing their boobs.

The party eventually started to die down, guests started to leave, and I was getting bored with eating dream food, so I jumped on top of a table and rode it out of the room as though it were a hoverboard while yelling, “I’m king bitch, I’m king!!!”

I had to fly through a tiny hole in the ground in order to get to the surface, it made me feel a bit claustrophobic but it wasn’t too bad.

When I got above ground I appeared in a beautiful, lush, vivid green field with trees that were covered in so many leaves that I couldn’t even see a speck of bark. I tried to teleport Rick & Morty style by pointing an invisible portal gun at a hedged bush. A transparent green and purple blob shot out of the gun and made a transparent green and purple portal. It was pretty tiny so I tried to run into it head first, but instead of going through a portal I ended up smashing my face into a solid hedge that felt like it was made out of bricks. I rarely feel pain in my lucid dreams but running into that brick bush gave me an awful, splitting headache.

I lost vision and appeared in a new field. There was tall, golden wheat grass all around me and a few oak trees off in the distance. I flew around to try to find a group of people to unleash my wind upon. I found a small encampment of criminals after exploring for a few minutes. I landed in the middle of them and then I almost immediately saw a group of maybe 20 little 10 year old kids marching towards me in a line. They surrounded me in a circle and I began trying to fart. One of them kept punching me in the stomach and pushing me around while the others cheered.

The fart wasn’t happening and I felt like maybe I was going to shit my dream pants instead. So I imagined hearing and feeling a fart instead of trying to force one out, then immediately a massive noise erupted from my butt. The kids froze and became dead silent while they stared at me in absolute horror.

I opened my mouth and said, “It was Meeeeee!!!” but another kid said it at the exact same time. Then the rest of the kids joined in and said that it was them while they laughed hysterically. They started pushing me around, punching me, and throwing rocks at me. Not exactly the reaction I was expecting.
I ran away and then got down on all fours and tried to turn into a dragon. I could feel my back sprout wings and I could feel claws grow from my hands but then I woke up.


Dream 2:

Short lucid dream fragment – I was asking Dreamer to transform me into a dragon. A violent transformation started to happen and parts of my body were bubbling and randomly growing very large or very tiny. I started to grow claws and to get scaly but I woke up pretty quickly.



Dream 3:

I was in a simulator with Dreamer. This simulator was supposed to be a previous memory that belonged to someone from my old high school’s football team. I don’t know what kind of strange technology we were using to explore this memory but I was fascinated at how powerful it was.

The memory, however, was quite sad in content. There were a few cheerleaders that had gotten very drunk with a couple of football players and their coaches. The girls were all stark naked. I admired the details of the simulation and felt my way around the room, amazed at the realism of the experiences.
I found one of my old, male best friends sitting on the floor, submissive, and sucking on an unknown person’s dick that was poking through a wall.
The coaches started to get aggressive, and against the girls’ wishes. They started to walk up behind the girls and rub their dicks against their bums and between their legs. The cheerleaders would push them away, but the coaches would just come back and they started to penetrate the girls. They took them into other rooms and had sex with them.

We could explore the memory and witness things but we couldn’t interact with or influence the memory.
I was showing Dreamer and a couple other DCs that we weren’t actually using our real bodies either by doing a nose plug RC. I suddenly realized that this wasn’t a simulation, but that I was actually dreaming. The simulation started to end and everything began to get dark. I repeated to myself, “I am lucid, I am lucid, I am lucid…” over and over again until the dream re-formed because I was afraid of having a FA and losing lucidity.

I appeared on a gorgeous, white beach. I remembered that I wanted to try some tasks and that I wanted to try to use a mirror to transform. I walked around, looking for a mirror. I saw an old, sand-covered, full-length mirror with a golden-brown, wooden frame. I walked up to it and looked at my reflection. I then imagined my body becoming globe-like and I slowly transformed into a floating, purple planet. I was amazed at how well that worked, so I tried to turn into a dragon after that. While still looking in the mirror, I imagined my body turning into a dragon. I turned green and grew a long tail and wings and looked like a beautiful green dragon! I woke up into a FA before I got to do anything cool.

Dreamer was sitting up in bed next to me typing something on her laptop. I began to write my dreams down, and then I remembered that this is a prime time for losing lucidity. I did a reality check and then I knew! O_O

I stared lovingly at Dreamer and she stared back at me with her adorable green eyes. I ripped off her clothes and her eyes suddenly grew dark, she looked quite grumpy! I tried to focus on the feeling of her personality and her energy, and then I tried to infuse it with the dream character, but it would only work for a second at a time. So I left the grumpy DC alone, closed my eyes, and imagined feeling her presence with me until the dream ended.

I thought I had woken up and that I had been trying to fall back asleep for quite some time. I eventually did a reality check to make sure I wasn’t still dreaming, but I was.

I got out of bed and appeared in a white tiled bathroom. I stared in the mirror and imagined a Rick & Morty portal gun appearing in my hands. Just such a gun grew in my hand from a small point! I pointed it at a wall and pulled the trigger. What came out was the most vivid and non-transparent green blob yet! I was super excited and happy about just how well the Rick & Morty teleportation method had worked this time, but I woke up before I could go through the portal.

Black: non-dream
Blue: non-lucid
Red: lucid

Had trouble recalling my dreams for the past couple days. Just remember this one scene from last night where there were a bunch of cows chasing me and I jumped a fence or something... It's not much of a dream.

Time:5:00am.
This dream is mostly non-lucid only at the end I got the awareness that I am dreaming.

I go to a place where my friend left me in a car and gone somewhere. I wait in the car. It is dark outside, feel like It is 9pm. Suddenly the car move it self. I was little bit agitated about the guy left me in the car, but no time to think further. I hold the driving wheel and turn around in the empty space along side the road. No traffic on the road, but still it looks there may be. I turn right U and drove to the left side and the car didn't stop, so I turn the driving wheel and manuver to the right and finally stop by apply break, even though I sit at the back side of the car. How my leg reached front of the car? { I should have realised how I got my leg there? I should have doubted. But didn't.].

Then I got out of the car, I am in a home at the drawing hall. Two of my friends are there. One guy I see say, asking me why I am here. I just tell him, i got out of the car just now, and tell the other guy left the car with me and gone without attending me.

Then another friend come front of me and start sleeping on the floor. I ask him What. He said he has to sleep as look at me as if why I am asking him the obvious question.

I go out of the home, and female friend go there. Just in front of the building I left, on the road there is another lady come and ask the female who came with me, why she is here. She reply look to her as if saying it is none of her business. Then the new lady, says she is on business here. I was wondering what ? Then the new lady do walk like a military walk with taping her lady shoe on the floor. I can here the small finger length knifes come out of the shoes in both legs. I realize she is going to harm my femal friend. I push the femal friend and stand between the lady and female friend. The lady asks what I am doing? She got knives attached to her shoes. She can scratch me with that. blocking her? She gives a look at me. I am not afraid.
DREAMING! I AM DREAMING!!. I push the lady in front of me. It looks real. Just I feel the texture of her office coat, my dream dissovles.
[ I am awake. I waited for a few minutes. and realized I got the first dream awarness in my dream. I lasted a few seconds. Hope this will continue in future. I was wondering is these dream characters played with me? Perhaps they are! They might be even my own subconsiouce manifestations. I am feeling happy! I just type this immediately I got out of the bed.
In my previous dreams also same thing might have happened. I didn't get much to do. So, I still keep this in non-lucid category. I went to bed at 10:30pm and wake from dream 5:00am. I guess noting this time may help me in future. So, joining in Dreamviews.com I reached the purpose and got a glimpse.

In future, I will be ready to talk to dream characters and find my dream awareness. Since they are helping me I have to accept their help.]

11:00pm

I stand in an ally with my friends. One guy push me. My friend on the left talk something. I feel I don't care. My friend go few steps ahead and start talking which I can't understand.

Me, my friend are surrounded my other guys in a half moon form. Somebody in that crowd think I am in danger. I think What? and look at the row of guys in front of me. And all these guys have scissors and they are ready to point at me; not yet.
I move to the opposite direction and climb on the top of houses, and running away from the scissor guys. I also think they or someone can figure out to reachme and chase.
[ I wake up]

im not a natural writer. i suck at grammar and write with weird wordings. so please, bear with me

so early this month, i started sleeping downstairs in the lounge area (house).
few days later i started to experience one of the most weirdest things ever since moving in

first time happened
i was on my left side facing the wall. looking down was the window which was pitch black, in fact the whole room was fairly dark with no lights coming in
i was suddenly, abruptly woke up. my eyes were wide open.

a grey-white looking ish, cloud-smoke-mist-like was floating just above my bed
in addition, there was a some sort of unfinished figure like how you'd draw something in what it looked like a face in the middle, but i couldnt made up what it was

just as how it appeared out of no where, it just vanished like how a cloud would disappear or move away

i had nightmares throughout the night (forgot to record..wish i had recorded) but i had an excellent long term lucid experience (again forgot to record wish i did...but it involved u know what "wink" "wink")

i wish i could claim i was awoke 100%. but i also cant tell if it was false awakening..definitely not SP...and definitely not a dream.....

chapter 2
i experienced another super super creepy paranormal ive ever had

i woke some time in the middle of a night. i started practicing WBTB.
i was on my left side again trying to relax my body. during this time, my mind was busy with daydreaming..

all of sudden, someone or something was tickling bottom of my right feet which is usually very sensitive. "huh that was weird."
then it did again on my possibly my calf or upper leg literally right on my skin*...now im a little creeped out

then it went to my waist

now i was genuinely pissed and annoyed as if someone like a kid was bothering me
"damn it ***ing stop that!" and i whipped my arm to my side to knock it off and now im on my back.

i realized something

i was fully clothed with bed sheets on me tightly...."W...T...F!?!?"
How the hell osmething could scratch my skin without going through the sheet and my clothes?!
i was completely baffled

chapter 3
this is pretty much a sure thing false awakening/semi-lucid dream
when i woke up i was pretty sure i sensed something really really weird
the door was wide open which it shouldve been closed
the room was dark
'okay this is getting weird," i said nervously
i looked down to my feet for some reason.
all of sudden..
WHAM someone literally vigorously grabbed both of my foot and started pulling me down to the bed like how you'd see in the movies like "the conjuring"
it pushed me hard to the left and right and sometimes in circles
i wasnt really scared or anything at the time. i was too busy trying to just hold/grab onto something but i couldnt
then this figure, red big muscle demon-like thing literally just like the one in South Park came into the scene and said, "this will not be the last. more to come!" (something along those lines) and i told him "shut up and let me cuddle you." (i thought this was really weird when i remembered that)
i woke up and thought holy shit wtf was that
sometime later, i looked myself into the mirror.i looked exactly like me in real life except few more details
there was thsi weird mark on my forehead hard to explain
under my right eye lid, thought part of my skin was burnt in a fire or something. it was black and really itchy with burning sensation
the family and i were eating on a table and told them i need to go see a doctor
and THEN i woke up.....

Early frag
Playing cards at a bunch of different places.

Sister
Me and my sister are playing a very basic video game. We are discovering most of the map and keep opening the main menu and looking at the map. It is completely filled in. We are pretty excited, we stop at a bar in the game. It looks a lot like the animal crossing cartoonish. We talk to someone and get and start a quest. Still pretty early and I didn't write down enough details.

Basketball
I am outside my parents playing ball. There are tables all around the court and we are all tripping over them like crazy. Three tables and I jumped up for a dunk. I float for about 5 seconds and am extremely confused by it. Someone else jumps on me and I land. I try to think of why this happened and am looking for a way to do this again.

Animated Skype
I am playing a Skype game with my wife and her younger brother. The game is actually me and my wife on one side and her brother on the other. Using gestures and things (from Kinect) we break the other persons system. First person to break the others system wins. The other system would be disabled for 24 hours and you would get a temporary boost. We play with her brother first, and he is wearing a black fighting suit and the whole thing is animated for some reason. The next game is versus two people. Also animated. Wearing strange clothes. You seem to be able to pick your clothes in this game somehow.

XBOX
My wife and I are sitting around the house watching some TV. My wife wants to know when I am buying XBOX one. I am a little confused because I am saving for a PS4. She then wants me to go out and get a movie. I ask her witch one and she says "the new Hayao Miyazaki live action movie" A picture of it pops in my head. It looks a lot like the live action Rurouni Kenshin movie. I am a little confused because Hayao wouldn't be able to put his soul into a live action film like that. I head outside and I am in my old apartment complex. I look for a Redbox for a long time.

Confusing Hiding
I am watching a movie and it is all about different ways to hide. The movie shows a lot of different ways to hide in plain sight. It is really confusing because they aren't hiding or hidden in the show. They are literally in plain view being bumped into, but ignored for some reason. One girl is laying on the floor in a hallway and keeps getting walked on, but still ignored somehow. I am in the movie and I realize that this isn't real, but I don't know what it is. I start thinking about the previous dreams and I realize that I had a lucid some time during the night. I put it all together in my head and then I woke up. I then forgot it. :/

I had a very disturbing dream where I was going to be killed at the end of the day. I was at home with friends and family, and everyone just accepted that fact. No one was trying to figure out how to stop it. And to make it worse, I was going to be beheaded.

I worried about how long it would take me to die after the ax hit my neck. I wondered who would miss me when I was dead. I wondered which of my dead relatives would meet me after I left my body.

I remember wandering into my bedroom ( I was a teenager and living at home in this dream). I wondered if I should clean everything out now so no one would have to do it for me later. But I decided I shouldn't have to worry about that. I had enough to worry about.

At one point I went into the kitchen and saw a chocolate cake in the cupboard. I didn't know whose it was, but I decided that I could get away with eating some of it. No one would be able to get mad at me later. I would be dead. And I no longer had to worry about trying to eat healthy. I was going to die tonight anyway.

I started to feel sorry for myself. And a little angry. Why didn't anyone care about what was going to happen to me? I was in a room with my mom. We were looking at a magazine or something and I saw something that looked interesting. I said to my mom, "Hey, I want that for my birthday". I knew I was going to be dead, but I wanted to see what her response was. She said, "Sure, if that's what you want we can...." and her voice trailed off as she realized I wouldn't be around for my birthday. She seemed sad, but resigned to the fact that I was going to die. I felt a little bad I did that to my mom. I'm sure this couldn't be easy on her either. But I walked off without saying anything else to her.

I don't really remember any more specific details, but this dream seemed to last all day. I felt my tension grow as the day progressed. I was alone for most of the dream.

I'm sure this dreams represents some real feelings deep inside. Although, in real life I have a very caring and loving family that would never have acted like this, so this must represent something deeper. I'll have to think about it.