All DJ Entries

First time recalling fragments since my last lucid dream. I still have no idea what caused my dream recall to completely fail. Nevertheless, its seems to have come back.

So I had a couple fragments, but most of them don't really seem to mean much. They are really blurry, but I do remember them.

The Cat-Killing Demon.

So in my household, we have three cats. (In real life) Cash, an overweight cat with white and black fur. He is the oldest of our cats, I think he is seven or eight. Alana, who is about four years old has dark tabby markings. And Ti, who is less than a year old has a kind of dark spotted fur coat. All of these cats from my house were in this dream, as well as this new cat. (Specific to the dream, I've never seen this cat in real life.) I think it was a female with a sort of pale orange coat.
And the new orange cat had gotten its head cut off and we were looking at the scene. I wasn't really disturbed by it for some reason. This veterinarian came over and told me that there are sometimes these spirits that come into people's houses and kill people's cats by cutting off their heads.
He somehow reattached the orange cats' head and said that the cat would live anywhere from a few more hours to a few more months before it died.

Now one random note for this dream. The fact that I wasn't disturbed by this otherwise gruesome scene. I knew that this wasn't something right about it. Perhaps I was just a little bit lucid in this dream, enough to know that it wasn't real.

Fragment

I was playing the first world in the first pikmin game. The only thing different was that there was snow everywhere and all of the plants were dead.

Fragment

Something about me playing on a minecraft server. I was looking for a place to build, but people had placed signs everywhere saying that they had claimed land.

Fragment

Somebody was teaching me about some ancient tribe and relaying beautiful imagery of the tribe migrating through a mountain range that was covered in forests.

Fragment

Riding a huge cargo elevator down a circular concrete shaft.

I am thinking of arranging some goals for myself. I want to get into a more regular routine of lucid dreaming, make it more of a priority. I want to start lucid dreaming more often, perhaps once or twice a week, having a good lucid dream.
I will lay out some more specific goals in the days to come, but I know that I want to raise my skills.. I also want to do some more organized work with WILDs.

03-24-2013 -- A barely remembered fragment about an underground hospital and being sent to the morgue to collect somebody or something, then I find myself walking on Crescent Avenue, headed toward Dale. I am just walking past the nursery when I run into two friends from the Tampa, Florida area. Let's call them TJ and TJ. Male and female, they are a couple, and they seem to be talking about a street they are referring to as Luther, and talking about all the crazy drivers.

I get involved in the discussion, and ask if they are talking about Martin Luther King Jr Avenue over in St Petersburg, also known as Highway 19 [Actually, it is located a few streets over from Highway 19, but dreams ... what can you do?], and they say they are. We discuss the street, and how it is made up of a bunch of streets that were originally separate, and then grew together, and all the bad drivers and accidents and stuff that happen there.

Part of the discussion is about how they keep doing more and more construction, adding overpasses and off-ramps that are slowly changing this surface street into more and more of an actual freeway [true thing that is happening with Highway 19 in St Petersburg area], and somehow as we are talking, the female TJ has traveled over there, stolen a hot sports car, driven it up and down that highway, wrecked it, and gotten back to where we are talking, all in a minute or two.

Unfortunately, she has been followed by the person she has stolen the car from, who is a rich millionaire playboy with criminal tendancies, kind of a cross between Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark, and a mob boss. He and his enforcer (who looks like the Obadiah Stane from the Iron Man movie) have come to find us, determined to kill TJ.

She accepts responsibility for her actions, and makes no excuses for what she did, but she does not plan to let them kill her without a fight, and she has this very cute guilty expression, and a very hot body. Between her looks, attitude, and acceptance of responsibility, I am really falling for her. Her boyfriend, the other TJ, runs off, and the Obadiah character pulls out a needle, now planning to drug her and have nasty sorts of fun with her because she dares to resist them.

The boss doesn't really care all that much about the car, he just can't let people be seen to walk all over him. He also wants me to come to work for him. But as the Obadiah thug threatens TJ, I can't help but get involved. I grab the thug and toss him a few feet to keep him away from TJ, and tell the boss that I have no problems with him, and could work for him, showing incredible loyalty ... but only if he leaves TJ alone.

The thug doesn't like it, but the boss doesn't much care, and seems interested, but first he is trying to finish up a phone call. In the meantime, I have stuck TJ in a kind of a shield or cage that keeps her safe from the thug, and under control. The boss has finished his phone call, and we are just reaching to shake hands when his daughter (who looks just like Thea from Arrow) comes running up.

She screams that this isn't right, and I can't do this, and I ought to be with her, not TJ, and throws herself at me. I shove her back a couple of feet, but she throws herself at me again. I shove her more powerfully, and she is right back at me. This time I grab her arm, and spin her around myself three or four times, building up more and more momentum until I throw her against a wall maybe 20 feet away. She collapses, but struggles back to her feet and comes at me again. I turn to her father, who seems bored and unconcerned, and asks him how long it will take her to get the message. He tells me another twelve to fifteen times of throwing her against the wall, and she might get the message! Dang!

CL's DJ entry just jogged my memory of the NLD I tried DEILDing from this morning.

All I remember is that I am in a church service and a group of attractive young ladies are taking their tops off because it is hot. They are seated to the right and a few rows back. I turn to watch them. All of them have sport bras on so I think it's not that bad. Then I notice one of the girls is laying down on the pew like she is sun bathing or sleeping. Her bra is open in the front and her bare breast exposed. I stare at this longer then I should have and then realize how inappropriate she is being in church. I say something to my wife about it and marvel how no one seems to be bothered by it.

The night is fairly normal, with me having gone to bed later than usual, and falling asleep on the floor...It is not until 7:30AM that I wake up and recall snippets about a misadventure in Iran, but I don't record and the recall fades. I get some water then go back to bed. I am jumping around in a Chernobyl-like setting, with very uneven, coral-like ground. I know I am on a mission, and walk around for some time, investigating the weird monsters strolling the dilapidated streets. At some point, a partner joins me, and we head up an open air staircase attached to a hotel. Once at the top, he grabs a crowbar leaning against the concrete of the stairs and priest open the rusting metal door with a deafening screech. As we step inside, I notice an oriental carpet with a long, narrow, dimly lit hall and gas lamps lighting every 10 feet, ensuring patches of pure darkness. In the middle of the long hallway, there is a group of about 20 people in nondescript clothing, attempting to get into a room that I realize is mine, and holding various knives and concrete chunks as weapons. I begin to sprint towards them, gaining speed as I flow in and out of the visibility of the lamps. As I near them, I take a colossal step and leap over their heads, only to be grabbed by the thumb and halted in mid air. The one who grabbed my thumb, "M", smiles and says "You're dreaming, and that's the best you can do?"

There is a soft roaring in my ears, and a faint murmuring chorus from the heavens, one of my dream signs. I suddenly feel claustrophobic, the assembled bodies of the invaders crowding in on me. Recognizing the song playing, I get an inkling of what to do. yelling "WHOA" as loudly as i can, I blast the group away, and run for the door at the opposite end of the hallway, wanting fresh air. Once I get outside and there is an icy breeze on my face, I calm down enough to stabilize, with falling snow gently coating my hand as i examine it. I have 5 seconds of peace doing so, then someone roughly shakes my shoulder as the music gets louder. "IT'S COMINGGGGGGG!" he shouts, grabbing my hand and pulling me back inside. I *****At this point I feel in danger of losing my lucidity, and ignore him, telling myself once i gain control, I can handle anything that comes my way. As I begin to focus on my hand once again, the collective voices from the heavens reaches an all time high, and I realize what the song is, knowing what comes next. There is a great whooshing sound from above, and the scuttle of claws on concrete as something lands on the roof of the hotel, shaking the building and causing dust to fall from the ceiling while the oil lamps shake and tingle on their strings. There is momentary silence as everyone who was in the hallway looks up, and quickly, quietly, the ceiling starts to bend upwards, metal rods and concrete bending and breaking as it does so. I catch a glimpse of thousands of darkly glinting scales and two red eyes as a head slowly snakes through the hole and stares directly at me. I grin and rub my hands together. "Hello, big boy"
I reach out a palm and touch the dragon's snout, as fire engulfs the hallway.
*****
Yup! That's it. Sounds pretty epic, but unfortunately I woke up straight after that point, never having been 100% in control of the dream. I'm pretty psyched about the clarity of this dream, and the fact that on my first night attempting a MILD/DILD, I had one. Definitely going to keep working on it, and tell me what you think!
Also, the theme song was from Skyrim, that's how I knew the dragon was coming. It's pretty cool, check it out! The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Main Theme - Real Full Version -HQ - YouTube

After the crazy WILD "The Longest SP", it takes a while to get back to sleep. But I manage. I wake from some NLD. I don't worry about recall too much and focus on DEILD. I focus on my neck and force the vibrations to start but they fade almost instantly. I should have nose plugged! I assumed I woke up. I don't remember anything until...

6:59AM - #152 - Whispers In The Dark - DILD/DEILD?

The beginning is crazy and mixed up. Basically I have several FAs and finally start doing nose plug RCs

I do a nose plug RC and try to get out of bed. I find I am on the other side of it. I try to roll out and fall clumsily to the floor. I land hard with a loud thud. I am not totally sure if I am awake or asleep but I decide to just lay still and DEILD back. Duh I never woke.

I have a FA. I am on my belly and I pick up my head. I am back in bed so I am not sure what's going on yet. I wait. Then someone touches my back. It feels like 5 finger tips digging in hard. I am not sure if I'm dreaming but I say, "Don't touch me." I still feel vibrations so I don't want to move. I just assume that I am able to talk in SP. (dream logic ) I hear a strange whispering voice in reply. I don't understand it but I just reply, "I am trying to have a lucid dream. Leave me alone, please." More strange whisperings. At some point it sounds a little like my mother but only briefly. OK something is up.

I nose plug and blow through. Huh? I can't believe it for some reason. I nose plug two or tree more times to be sure. I stand up and turn around. The room is dark but I see some strange mass on the bed. I get in the fighting mood now. I growl the words, "OK YOU BITCH! FIGHT ME!" The shape becomes more defined and I clearly see that it is Shelob!



Shelob lurches forward as do I. We clash and I come in swinging. I punch, kick, bite, gouge, and scratch. We both roll over the bed and end up on the other side. The giant spider begins to deflate and shrink in size. I lift if up and it feels about the size of a large house cat. I rip it in half and it tears like a stuffed animal. I decide that is enough. I drop it and run out of the bedroom. I slam the door behind me. I realize that I am panting and laughing like a child who has been rough housing too much. Without much thought I run outside. I laugh when the door doesn't open and I have to unlock the deadbolt.

Outside there is more light but not much. Everything is lit with moon light. The neighborhood looks normal. I check my body and feel and see that I am properly dressed for cool weather. I feel my steel toe boots are on and I feel really warm.

I look at my hands and clearly see they look normal. I find that looking at them helps me to feel stable in this poor lighting. I notice cars passing and headlight briefly lighting the scene up. But I only get to enjoy it for a second or two and it gets dark again. Actually, it gets darker than before and I have to really look hard to get the moon light back. I see some guy come out of his house. The light from inside his house has the same effect as the head lights. Ignore him and continue walking with my hands out. I think I must look like some sort of cartoonish sleepwalker. I laugh a little.

I look up and see a few stars and a slim crescent moon. I see something brighter and lower behind some trees. I crane my neck and move over a little and see that it is a second and full moon. Satisfied, I continue down the street. I really have no plan this time except for keep moving and hope the dream gets brighter. I feel pretty stable but feel like a balancing act at this point. I'm almost to the end of the block when I hear a loud cry.


I realize it is my son in waking life and I am now wide awake.

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4:41AM -#151 - Longest SP - WILD

I am counting 1 I am dreaming, 2 I am dreaming, ect. while focusing on my body. Suddenly I am gripped by intense sleep paralysis (NOT REM atonia this time)I hear a demonic cat sound and feel a presence hovering above me. The vibrations are really intense and I cannot move. I feel the entity grab my balls and the vibrations intensify there to the point of mild pain. I try to cry out but the sound is caught in my throat and it sounds like a feeble wheezing. I open my eyes and see swirling black entities like Dementors above me. I am terrified but having been here many times; I force myself to relax and stay calm. I will the entity away. Immediate calm and quite comes over me.

I do my usually getting out of bed. It's dark and I feel really dizzy. I fall backwards into the wall. I feel like I am falling into a bottomless abyss. I see the hole I entered getting farther away.

I find myself back in bed. I can't see at all now. I use my dream hands to pry my dream eyes open. My eyes do open but I can see the bedroom and the red glow of the alarm clock. I close them. I do this several times but feel like its my physical eyes. At one point I feel the ceiling fan drying my eyes out and have to blink. I try getting up again but pretty much the same thing happens again. Then again I get up. I try to phase through a wall but it's solid. I am too frazzled to think clearly. I end up back in bed.

The vibrations are so strong. I decide to wait and focus on the vibrations. I feel like I am lying in an awkward position but I am not hurting so I don't move. I realize too that my head is at the foot of the bed and I can feel the box fan on my face. I don't care. I'm in the zone. I hear my wife ask I am ok. I become annoyed and tell her, "Yes Shhhhhhh!" I wonder how I am talking in SP but just go with it. I consider the probable fact that none of this is really happening. Still, I feel the vibrations and can't really move. I get the feeling that we are in my childhood bedroom in Luling from my teenage years. The lay out just seems to match.

I think I hear my son cry and I hear and feel my wife leave the room. I just lay there in waiting. What seems like a few minutes later she comes back and gets in bed. I realize that now I am back in the right position in bed. My hands are free to move now so I reach over to feel if my wife is there. I grab the ankle of a small child. I hear someone *gasp* so I let go. Was it my son? I was surprised she brought him to bed with us. I shrug it off. I feel like I can really move my hands now. I rub them and feel my face. Super real. BUT I can still feel vibrations. I decide to just wait this one out and let the dream form.

This waiting was a really long time. I think I'm forgetting a few details but it's mostly all there. I start doing things like the Gladius swing, Walking motions, anything repetitive to maybe get something started. Nothing worked. I get really bored so I meditate for a few minutes. Then I visualize being on the beach. I see some really vivid images but its more like flickering photographs. I try to imagine my feet in the sand but its a dull sensation that quickly fades. At some point I start talking to myself. I say something like "Well Shit. Hurry up dream. I am dreaming." I say all this out loud and I wonder if my wife can hear me because it sound ultra real. I begin to think at some point that I am going to be stuck like this forever and never wake up. I think this is my idea of Hell. Then I laugh and say out loud, "Of course it won't. It will change. I just need to stay patient."
After some more waiting and fiddling about in bed I start to hear music. It's Sugar Ray's Fly but instead of "I just want to fly" it is "I just want to dance." The beat and music and vocals are very high quality. I am thankful for some entertainment right now and I feel relieved to have a distraction. I begin to sing along loudly and dance as best I can in bed. I move my arms, head and upper body in rhythm to the music. It begins to feel invigorating and soulful. I enjoy the hell out of it. Soon the words fade and the music begins to wind down like a slow record player.

Start at 48 seconds


Then there is nothing. No physical sensation. No sound. No movement. I just wait a second and the BAM!

I find myself standing in a big open room with no furniture. The room is well lit and there is gray carpet. I look around and say, "OHHHHH WOOOOOW! THAT IS SO COOL!" The layout of the house is off but reminds me of the house we lived in Luling. I can see out the windows as there are no blinds or curtains. I see the front yard but in the distance there is a thick mist. I have a feeling that my brain hasn't finished rendering the dream yet but I feel super stable and confident. I make my way to the front door. At that point I remember how this house was "haunted" in waking life. I imagine a horrible demon coming after me as I close the door but nothing happens.

Now I am outside the lighting is a little worse. The world looks cold and gray. I walk along the front of the house on the sidewalk. I realized that I forgot what my task was. I think for a second that I really should stay inside until the dream gets more stable but I am afraid and really impatient.

I can hear something like cheering and jeering at the nearby football stadium. I feel curious but I have something in mind first. I really want to burn this house down and never visit it again. There are too many bad memories. I see my shadow projected on the side of the house. I see brown wood siding. (Brick in real life) I think that if I can start a fire there is will catch and be gone. I do the clapping motion that I used for the fireworks TOTM. I hear a loud sound of fire like a flame thrower but only see a small flame on my shadow like a cigarette lighter. I try several times but only see and hear the same. Then I hold my hand up still looking at my shadow. I see handcuffs and a chain coming off it. I note this but ignore it for. The crowd at the stadium is jeering loudly now. (Damn I could have turned that into the Colosseum if I thought about it) I tell myself I will investigate in a minute. I really want to get the fire trick down. I focus on the palm of my hand. I see a glowing ball form. I stare at it and focus longer and harder.

Then, I am suddenly awake. NOOOOOOO!

03.24.2013

Hiding Spots (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am running from a particular group of people who always manage to find me. My brother is with me. We are part of some Hunger Game-esque future in which college and high school age students are thrown in prison camps.

My brother and I run down the dirt road behind my old house, when we see a dark car up ahead. We quickly take another fork in the road, only to come across another car. Both drivers are now after us. We veer off the road into the forest until we see a cabin. With nowhere left to go, hidng there seems to be a good option.

When we enter, however, there are two men standing there. I am about to fight them, but they convince me that they are on our side. "Not everyone agrees with wiping out part of society," one man says bitterly. He tells me that he was a teacher. I decide that I can trust him.

We hear car doors out front. "Hide!" the men say.

There aren't many suitable hiding places in the room. My brother hides beside a bookshelf while I hide under a couch. The men chasing us never come into the cabin.

This is one of those nonsense dreams that make me wonder if someone drugged my food before I went to sleep. xD

03.24.2013

Seeing Orange (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Running through a dark cave-like place with my companions, we must activate these strange orange symbols by touching them. I am balancing on a railing over a huge abyss in order to reach one of the symbols, high up on on the cave ceiling.

After activating enough of these symbols, they now produce glowing orange spheres. The spheres are supposed to increase our "HP" in a deadly battle/game that is soon to follow.

Now my brother and I are collecting the orange spheres. This soon disintigrates logic-wise into us gathering oranges and other orange things in a grocery store. We are racing against time to collect enough before the game begins. We have no idea what to expect once we enter the Chamber.

I had gathered a full bag or oranges, but as we are walking to the Chamber I see that my bag is barely even half full, and only a few of the things in it are actually orange. There are a lot of little biscuits in there that I hope count as orange even though they're more white/tan.

My parents are walking with me and my brother. They will be part of the audience. My mom chastizes me when she sees me eating one of the buscuits, because it will alert people that I'm "stressed."

Inside the chamber, our bags of orange things disappear. A creepy disembodied voice tells us that we can find them throughout the game to increase our HP.

As we're walking in, several judges are sitting on a high podium in the middle of the Chamber. I cannot stop staring at one of the judges, who is an evil-looking but gorgeous woman who is known for her cruelty in these games. She says something sarcastically to us about none of the contestants liking her. I like you, I think to myself, stricken by her beauty. One of my fellow contestants tells her, "You have nice hair."

"Nice hair?" she says incredulously. "I have beautiful hair."

After the disembodied voice introduces us to the judges, everything goes completely dark. The game has begun.

A spotlight shines on one of the contestants, eating a slice of pepperoni pizza. The cheese (though more of a white/yellow color) apparently counts as orange. But when she takes a bite of one of the pepperonis, green mold spots begin growing on the cheese.

The curtain closes on her, and the spotlight falls on twin puppets that are supposed to represent my brother and me (though we're not twins). The puppets are talking as if reading a script very badly. They stop and look down at their feet, where a coin is. "Look Sister, a gold coin!" the brother says.

"Indeed brother, it is a lovely coin!" Though I am watching this scene from a seat several feet away, I also seem to have control over what my puppet version does. I will her to grab the coin, and she does.

"But Sister," the brother puppet says, "Should not I get the coin? It was I who found it."

"No, Brother. I found it." As I'm watching this, I firmly believe that if I have the coin, I can get both my brother and myself through the game alive.

The two puppets quarrel over the coin until a Teddy bear walks up to them. He introduces himself as Hurston. They have a brief conversation that I cannot recall, and then the bear hugs the boy puppet. "Hurston hugged Timothy!" the puppet squeals happily.

In my seat, I look to my brother who's sitting next to me. "Does this seem familiar to you?" I ask him. He nods.

The spotlight goes out on the puppets and comes on another contestant. She is a pretty girl who is maybe a few years older than myself. She begins to sing: "When you're down and troubled, and you need a helping hand..." The crowd murmurs appreciatively at her talent. She sings this song so beautifully!

I resist trying to find my mother in the audience. When I was a child, she would sing this song to me every night before putting me to bed.

This was a great LD for breaking a dry spell! No progress on tasks, but some fun action, a DV member cameo, and what feels like progress on keeping caffeine dreams stable. As usual, the last thing that I read during WBTB (in this case, a Visitor Message from NewArtemis) has a significant impact on my dream content.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #79: The Hall of Letters

I'm sitting on the side of the mountain, looking across a green valley at another mountain that's dotted with caves. A person sits in each of these distant caves. I recognize my college friend RS and somehow I can talk to him even across this huge distance. The weather is sunny, clear, and beautiful, so I casually say to RS, "Isn't the day amazing?"

"It is!" he says, and suddenly blankets and rugs come pouring out of the mouths of these faraway caves. The blankets and rugs go tumbling and sliding down the side of the mountain to the valley below. Fascinated, I wander into the valley, not sure what to make of what I'm seeing.

Now the valley is teeming with hundreds of people. Each of them spreads out a picnic blanket, removes their shirt, and flops down onto their stomachs to sun themselves. I see RS take a spot of his own ahead of me and to the left and I realize that I am now holding a blanket as well. I start scoping out a spot of my own.

As I'm looking around, I see AA, a mutual summer crush from high school. I want to say hi but when she removes her shirt I see that unlike the rest of the female DCs, she's not wearing a bikini top underneath. I turn away, not wanting to get caught staring. I lay out my blanket and remove my shirt, looking forward to feeling the sun on my skin. But when I check, I find that I have another shirt on underneath my original. "This is a dream..." I tell myself, and almost immediately Hulk-jump out of the valley, thinking of the Great Wall of China.

As I'm soaring through the air, the scene quickly darkens and soon I'm in the void. "This is fine," I tell myself, "I can do this all night." I rub my hands together and feel my forearms, drawing myself into my dream body. With my left hand I reach down and massage my knee cap, extending my right hand for aid. I beg for help, saying, "Bail me out. Pull me into a new scene."

A smallish hand, seemingly female, grips mine and yanks me forward. A voice says, "Hey! It's [NewArtemis]! I know you can't see yet, but we need to keep running!" I obey, and I sense that we're running through the hallways of some building.

I start getting flashes of imagery -- signs with arrows and strange, all-caps letter patterns like "ABCD ->" and "<- PQDELJH ->" (the first one was definitely in the dream, but the second is a reconstruction/guess.) Seconds later, I'm in the halls running, my vision restored. Art says something along the lines of, "Okay, you're good now," and drops my hand.

I hear the running footsteps of pursuers, so I begin floating so that I can get a look behind us. I move a few feet ahead of Art, turn around, and start floating backward. A squad of frightening-looking Enclave Soldiers (from Fallout 3) is pursuing us, perhaps 50 feet behind. "It's those guys from Fallout," I say, not able to remember what they're called. Art doesn't appear particularly concerned about this, so I figure this isn't as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be.



At the end of the hall, we take a right turn into a circulator elevator with a bumpy, cylindrical metal pole in the middle of it. I feel the bumps with both hands, and the texture is like that of a cheese grater. "You should do this," I tell Art. "It really helps with stabilization." Feeling confident, I boastfully add, "This is making my dream so stable. Try it." She laughs and shakes her head like I'm really failing to grasp something basic.

Art shifts to where she's out of sight behind the pole, and when I look around the other side to find her, she has completely vanished. The elevator doors have shut now and I'm on my own. There are buttons with weird symbols on them and I start pressing them at random. Each one lights up as I touch it and soon I feel a faint vibration from the elevator like it's moving.

I wait a long time, hoping that the elevator doors will open, but nothing seems to be happening. I begin to fret that I'm in a bad situation now -- stuck in a small room, inactive and waiting for something to happen. The dream begins to feel thin, goes dark, and my half-hearted DEILD attempt fails. I'm awake now.

recall has been terrible the past few nights. thinking of taking up awareness-enhancing/LD-inducing techniques again but that's difficult when you're very busy irl

the dream began in the townhouse basement. it was dark. i don't recall what i was doing there. later i was trying to change the colour scheme on an ipod? then i was with my uncle in a version of my grandmother's living room. some other people were there but i forget who. he put on a blues song which i recognized as frog eyes - time reveals its plan at poisoned falls (i assumed that this version was a cover of the "original" blues song). i sang along to it. then it was very dark and i was sitting at a computer. i was trying to make a fake kickstarter for a tablet so that i could make money. i recall having significant difficulties with this.

then i am hanging off the side of a bed and trying to get a pin that has fallen underneath. B---- is watching me and making sarcastic comments. there are two lollipops under the bed, one wrapped and one unwrapped. i cannot reach the pin. i recall that i need the pin for sexual purposes (what in god's name are those purposes? i don't know.)

finally i am watching a woman dance in an empty room (concrete floor and walls; dirty; colour scheme is desaturated, dark teal). she is nude except for a pair of pink panties and i am not able to see her face. on her lower back (left sacral area) she has many deep wounds, which are (insufficiently) covered by flesh-coloured bandages in the shape of bows.

-------
there's not much to analyze here, but a few things i found worthy of comment:

i often have dreams wherein my subconscious is able to replay a musical piece entirely from memory and it is always flawlessly accurate... in real life my musical memory is nowhere near this prodigious (i tend to recall only lyrics and vague ideas of the vocal delivery). i really wonder what about the dreaming state allows me access to greater musical capabilities & how i can come to harness this ability in real life.

in most of my dreams that have sexual content the sex object is female... in waking life i consider myself heterosexual, i'm in a happy relationship with a man and i don't really find myself attracted to women. it's interesting, therefore, that it's mostly women who appear in my sexual dreams and i find myself wondering why. i have a vague idea that i find male sexuality more threatening than female sexuality and thus sexual situations involving women are simpler/"easier" to dream about, but really i'm not sure.

im just starting a dream journal i think. dont quite know what im doing on this web sight yet.

updated "she loves me not" and desire....links were dead.

Also had some dream about H being upset with me...no matter what I did or how much I apologized, it didn't matter.

I was in some house and had picked up a cute kitten, but it spit up all over me.

[Gap]

I'm going into a bathroom to shower it off of me. It got all over my clothes. But mom wants to take a shower too.

It's a big shower with brown tiles. But I'm alone then, and getting really frustrated as I look for the shampoo but can't find it. I get out of the shower (my hair is soaked) and start going through a bunch of stuff on the sink. I find two short, slim bottles of what is apparently shampoo and conditioner.

Just as I find a bottle of Pert, though I'm unsure if it's the same kind I use, some people come in, completely ignoring me as one of them throws a couple of mattresses right in the space where the shower is.

Note: I remember being half-awake and kicking my legs out in my frustration!

Dream recall from today's nap, got lucid due to attempting WILD in a dream again as well as finally did some goals as well as TOTM.

I can't recall much about dream start, but i was at home and i was apparently sick, it was nighttime and i was watching Syphon Filter let's play, it was pretty weird in way that there were driveable vehicles and one level had the jump that was supposed to be done in vehicle, but player failed and was forced to redo whole level because the jump was done above area where level starts. Dad was annoying me because he decided to sleep in my room for whatever reason. Later i was watching another level with massive bridge and armored enemies, which supposed to be boss level of some kind. I looked at time and it was time at which i should go for nap. So i went for the WILD.
I wake up and it is daytime, i can't move, also for some reason i am in position in which my view is rather limited. The bed position is different too, and there were no curtains on windows, but i didn't notice it at that moment. So dream manages to convince me that i have sleep paralysis event. In a bit i hear sound of someone walking behind the window. I am slightly alerted for a second, but only for a quick second, then i get back to calm state again. I hear more sounds behind window and then i see some shadow figure. It breaks through the window and runs towards me. At this point i start suspecting that i am dreaming, but still can't move. Now it's not shadow anymore, but a person, i can only see legs though due to position i am paralyzed in. He starts punching and kicking me, i feel being hit, but no pain, i still can't move though so i just absorb hits like a badass until i fall out of the bed. I am able to move now, and i ask the person why he's doing it, i can't recall response but i was not satisfied with it, i looked at the person and apparently he is a midget. He decided to continue attacking me, but i just... sit down on him. He's angered and somehow manages to grab me and almost throw me, but i grab him in response too. Then he grabs in different way, making it harder to keep balance, but i respond by grabbing differently too. We continue that 'fight' while epic orchestral music is playing, until i get him into situation where keeping balance is just ridiculous, like he has to stand in weird pose on single finger while grabbing my hand, and while i am not touching the floor at all and grabbing him somehow... i am not sure how to describe this fully, haha. But i apparently win and i free myself from the grab.
I say something i can't recall to midget which was lying on the ground and walk to the window, which is not broken now apparently. I smash it with my fist and it breaks, i get through and check hands, no damage on them and left hand has 7 fingers, also they are like super detailed. I take off and start feeling wings, i fly straight ahead and then slightly to the left this time, and i fly pretty quick, i also hear sound of wings more clearly that previous time. Shortly dreamscape changes and i am now flying above some different place in the city, i decide to try transforming into a dragon again, but no dice, i continue flying and dreamscape changes again, to some kind of outdoor restaurant with a bunch of DCs, i fly above it and dreamscape changes once again, now there's some buildings. I spontaneously get an idea that transformation would be easier if i get more destructive.
I fly straight into building wall and start breaking through it at full speed, it ends up very very thick, since i am breaking through it for whole 5 seconds already, without lowering speed. There's not much light and i decide to visualize transformation now, and i have feeling of change. After a couple more seconds of breaking through the wall i manage to reach some rooms, which luckily had some light. I look at my hands and i have claws and hands are fully covered with green and black scales, it's awesome, though i didn't changed in size, i think. I try to talk and my voice has weird tone messed with something like combination of roar and some high pitched sound. I haven't stopped flight for whole time, so i end up breaking through the wall again, deciding to get back to outside, but eventually everything fades out.
I feel myself back at the bed, but all i can see is darkness, i try to shout, but my voice is replaced with sound similar to one i had during transformation, i feel paralyzed and shortly i see some black and white portrait in the darkness.
I wake up while shouting, family is in the room and they make 'wtf' faces, i respond that "that's why i don't do this when someone else is in the room, especially when sick", i get up and then i wake up properly and immediately do an RC, haha.

This was by far one of the worst dreams I've had in a long time, if not my whole life.

Part I: Playdate

So it started off very normal, for the most part. Okay, that's a lie.

I was with my father, my brother and this family of two African Americans; one a mid-aged man and who I assume was his very young son. So we're at what I assume was an arcade/restaurant place, though not much eating was going on to be frank. My father seemed very fond of the African American family, and I thought they were alright. I was very young in this dream, no older than 10 years-old. We were all taking turns at playing this jet-ski racing arcade game with the black child, and we were having fun. Every time I stopped playing though, I would go to the bathroom.

Whenever I went into the bathroom, I turned into this humanoid wolf person, like a werewolf except not nearly as gruesome looking, but every time I went to the bathroom, I engaged in some different form of sexual intercourse, ranging from just standard vaginal to blowjobs by two different women at the same time. When it wasn't my turn to play with the kid, I'd sit down on this padded red couch with my brother, who was playing with his kindle a lot. This happened three or four times I think, though I somehow transitioned between this and the next part.

Part II: Grandpa

This is the most tame part of the dream, really.

Recently, I went on vacation to Marina Del Rey with my mother, brother and grandfather, which is what I believe effected this dream.

Much like in the dream, my brother, my grandpa and I spent most of our time eating and talking, though my mother was nowhere to be found, and we most certainly weren't in Marina Del Rey. It was a high class restaurant, the whole room was red. Fancy red walls, silk tablecloths and wall hangings, and red chairs to sit on. We all sat down at one of the middle tables in the back, talking idly to a point where I don't remember what we were really talking about. Soon though, it was time for us to depart, and I had a bad feeling that I'd never see my grandfather again, though I didn't hesitate to even say goodbye to him.

He sent me and my brother a limo to ride us home, though we waited in the parking lot first. He pointed out that we were in the exact location of where a commercial he shot was at--in front of a diner with a Ross' in the background and a bank next to that, the sky filled with stars.

We eventually got into the limo, and we began driving down a street I've never seen before, one with this large apartment complex that was stacked up neatly like blocks, though each one of these apartments was shaped like an individual square and had a large glass window in the front that showed off the whole room, and it consisted of people getting dressed in front of these windows. No one was nude, but half-dressed in some clothing, then some underwear as well. I assumed they were either going to bed or getting ready for work.

Our destination would be our father's house.

Part III: A Father's Abuse and One Odd Wish

We got to my father's house, and my brother came with me, which was odd because my brother would never agree to go to my dad's house after invading his privacy and ruining his social life for years to come once back in high school. We were now about 17 or 18. Things were going fine so far--my brother was playing a game on the PS3 and I was sitting there playing with a Kindle. My dad wanted to check out my Kindle by looking through the images, and I didn't want him seeing some of the more... intimate images I had stored on my device, so I kept turning back the pages as he moved forwards. He was getting mad, and he asked me to stop. I replied with "I have some personal things on there." he said "Then you should show me them." which made no sense to me. I replied with "Things that I don't want you to see." which brought a huge snarl onto his face. He was furious, and got up and yelled at me "What could be so personal that I can't see?" I replied with "You have your privacy and I respect that, so please respect my privacy!" which only made him more mad. He screamed out "GOD DAMMIT!" loudly, turned around, then turned back to me and hit me right in the face.

This made me fall on the floor, dazed at how my father just socked me in the face. He began kicking me violently, his bare feet digging into my stomach with each blow, and I just took it. My brother just kept playing video games, while I slowly and crudely got up. I tried to hit him, though I was so weak and out of energy that he easily dodged it, and pushed me back to the ground. He looked at me and started saying "Really? Really, huh?" and then began bashing my skull into the ground, over and over again. While he did, I couldn't stop thinking "I'm definitely running away to mom's." and then, I bit his foot, dug my fangs deep into them, and I did this over and over again. Eventually, he kicked me off and bashed me in the head again and again.

He said he was going to leave for a bit, and he left me with my brother alone. I couldn't even get up anymore. So exhausted and hurt. I looked at my brother, still playing games, and said "Did you see that? He nearly killed me..." with him replying "Hey, I don't want to say I told you so, but..." and stopped there. I then devised a plan to kill my father, and without any sort of show on how I did it, I murdered my father, and retrieved a... "full diaper" from him. I met this anime-looking girl who wanted the diaper. In my mind, she was a friend, so I gave her the diaper.

What she did next, was something I could have never expected. She opened up the diaper and ate the fecal matter inside of it, or rather, let it sit in her mouth for a bit, then spit it out like water, spraying it everywhere. I wasn't so disgusted in the dream, but I was horrified when I woke up. When she spit it out, she said I had something like one wish, and with my dad dead, I wished that we could go far away, and so we zoomed off in a motorcycle into the Californian sunset.

Later, it zoomed back to the diner, a tall, tan man walking out and two men standing there, looking at him and asking "Is there a Julian Romano here?" he replied with "Oh, yeah. She's in the third room." and then it showed a picture of an old Asian woman, now rich because of the two men. Then I woke up in a bout of daze and shock.

Notes:

This is by far one of the weirdest, most macabre dreams I've had.
When my father was beating me up, I sometimes felt the pain of his hits.
The name Julian Romano doesn't sound familiar at all to me.

Interpretation:

Perhaps, I really do hate my father and love my grandfather. Honestly though, I can't interpret this dream for the life of me.