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Sadly, I don't have much time to write this, so:

I dreamt about a girl from work who I hooked up with a few months ago. She sent me some messages yesterday, obviously interested again. I'm not. So, in my dream, she was trying to kiss me and I kept trying to keep my distance. It wasn't easy.

My other dream was about my boss. She's very sad because of something that happened, so, in the dream, I was trying to hug her. She was too upset, though, and she kept telling me to stay away. She's usually very sweet, so her being rude was very weird.

That's all.

Running around a giant square shaped road circuit. Must be a few miles on each side. There is change link fence on the inside and the pavement is white and mostly free of people, except those couple running with me.
It takes so long to get round that it is now noon and the weather has changed to full sun, making me feel exhaust and strip off my jacket. It is one long slog.

note: tried wbtb several times after

That's 6 lucid's in two days. The first three dropped into wispy dream fragments, and the fourth resolidified after de-fragmenting.

I'm in an hotel/nursing home kinda place and once I realise I'm lucid, I get excited and move forward. I see the dream fragmenting and I speak out loud Dream Stability, and it works, but only for a few seconds, and dissolves.

In another dream, I realise I'm lucid, and find I'm in a fenced meadow with a couple of hundred people. I'm in my underwear and there's only one person who can see me, and this is because he's high on mary jane. Then his friends who are high too see me. I tell them we're in a dream, and then prove it to them by flying up. I ask for a joint as I can't have it in real life, and we're in a circle as they pass the doobie around. I take a deep couple of drags and the dream dissolves.

Morning of September 28, 2017. Thursday.



I am in a state of semi-lucidity, slowly becoming aware that our bedroom is transmuting into the northeast bedroom of the Loomis Street house (a place I have not been in real life for over twenty years and unlikely to ever be again). I eventually focus upon the essence of sleep, which in the dream state, is symbolized by water and recognized as such (and has been for over fifty years on a day to day basis). Water begins to flow down Loomis Street from the north. It is a flood, but not a threatening flood. I feel very relaxed and peaceful. I vividly feel small splashes of water reaching me through the window screen, which vivifies my level of dream state awareness.

There is some sort of unusual ambiguous imagery just outside the window. It relates to a child in pajamas holding a teddy bear, but is viewed through the screen as an undersized silhouette. Conscious self identity threads are lessened and I am no longer lucid in any way regardless of the increase in vividness. I have no major concern about flood waters flowing into the house, only that some of my dream journals might become damp.

I wander off to the west bedroom where my mother (July 14, 1916-October 2, 2002) is sitting on her bed. In this dream, at this point, I have no memory at all of my older sister Marilyn (April 25, 1942-Februay 13, 2014) whose house it mainly was.

“Someone left the floodgates open,” I tell my mother somewhat absentmindedly (forgetting that it was me who initiated and released this dream’s content and continuity with deliberate water induction and the original focus on release and blissful relaxation). Although it seemed late at night seconds previously, it now seems to be afternoon as I notice daylight through the window of her room. However, the area beyond the backyard and alley is completely different than in reality as there is no shed visible and no residential homes. All that is visible are some commercial buildings in the distance, about two blocks away.

My mother makes some sort of comment about access to the store being blocked by flood waters, and there is some sort of vague association with the checkout of a store (a common end marker of the dream state for me). Upon having this semi-lucid thought, and remembering more about my present conscious self and the fact that I am married and have children, I slowly fade from the dream state with soft (semi-lucid) intent and a very soft awakening.

---

Water, including non-threatening floods as a dream state induction factor, has occurred continuously all my life, long before virtually endless meditation and relaxation recordings utilized the sound of water to bring about relaxation or sleep. I will hear or otherwise perceive water as soon as I enter into a more relaxed state with less emotions present. Water as the primary symbol for sleep (and sleep dynamics in real time) is also analogous to how people spend the first months of their existence sleeping in the waters of the womb. As a result, it is probably my most common dream foundation marker.

My mother has, in more recent dreams, become more of a dream state end marker loosely associated with my wife Zsuzsanna than more direct associations with her as in the past. This is evidenced by her mainly appearing in the last scene of a dream where she is sitting on her bed (residual recall of having fallen asleep). Although Zsuzsanna appears in many of my dreams (where more of my present conscious self identity remains at least partially intact), the association with her also being a mother has, over time, altered dream state markers in some cases. However, despite Zsuzsanna having been a mother for a number of years, this symbolic transfer and marker integration is fairly recent (probably because she is now nearer my mother’s age when I was born). Being more of an emergent consciousness precursor than a preconscious factor, there is no conflict in such dreams, especially in already subliminally acknowledging this waking mechanism. (My mother was the one who usually woke me up throughout my childhood.)

Both watching the non-threatening flood waters flow and the silhouette of the boy in pajamas with the teddy bear represent the same thing…sleep, so this is a type of parallel symbolism that my dreams often render. (Someone being in pajamas was far less of an initiation factor even in early childhood, even being a fan of “Little Nemo”, though other dream state indicators such as beds and pillows are quite common.)

Even though a shadow of a person or a silhouette represents the lesser presence of my conscious self identity, it is slightly puzzling here as viewed through a window screen. This is because focus on a window screen has been validated to relate to some form of transpersonal communication or shared dreaming. Ordinarily, at least in lucid dreams, I sometimes indulge in “shadow play”; that is, I “test” the shadow to verify that it is actually my conscious self identity and it always is, even in a dream where it was very far away and standing on a bridge.

---

2017, 09-27

Dark Tower – Beach Party

I am on a beach at night. I look around to see where I am. It’s a nice beach, except for the strange creatures crawling out of the sea onto the beach. These things look like some kind of cross between a crab and a lobster with extra-large pincers, but I notice they aren’t coming very far away from the water. They’re almost talking, but they talk nonsense like, “Did a chick? Dud a chum?” I start walking along the beach with the ocean at my left. I soon see something up ahead in the light of the moon. I approach it more quickly and soon I see that it is a door standing by itself, standing open. All of these clues put together have convinced me I am in a Dark Tower world and where there is a door on the beach Roland probably won’t be far away.

As I approach the door I see something lying on the ground in front of it. I soon see that it is a body lying there, and I correctly assume it is Roland. I get closer and check to see if he is ok. He is breathing steady, although I can feel a heat coming off of him as if he has a fever. I wonder how he could have a fever when I healed all his wounds… unless maybe my energy only healed the damage and didn’t get all of the poison… I look around and see that I am no longer alone. There are other people standing around, most of them have smirks on their faces. They are all wearing the symbol of the Templars. One of them comes over to me and puts on a fake friendly face, he says we have something to discuss. He says he wants to know exactly how the doors along this beach work so he and his associates can build one of their own. I tell him I really have no clue how the doors work (I don’t) and these Dark Tower worlds are the only place I’ve ever seen them. He doesn’t seem to believe me. He says he has medicine that can help my friend (Roland) or he can make sure Roland has no body to come back to.

I am about to respond when I see another person on the beach with us. This guy looks like a holy warrior or knight, he is dressed in bright armor and carrying a cool looking sword. The Templar who had been talking to me turns and asks who the fuck that guy is. The knight holds his sword out in front of him and it glows with a golden light almost too bright to look upon. The knight says the Templars may bare the holy mark of God, but he has seen through their disguise. He says he can see they have abandoned the teachings of our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and now they must stand and face their holy judgment and be cast down back into the pits from which they came. Now I hear some of the other Templars muttering amongst themselves, they seem to think the knight is crazy. The knight doesn’t wait to see their reactions, he attacks with his brightly glowing sword which is almost blinding now. I shield my eyes and see a Templar open a portal and a large something comes through, looks like a giant or a golem of some kind, and it attacks the knight.

I am distracted when I see a Templar over by the door. I’m not sure what he is doing, but I know it can’t be good. I am about to do something, but it seems he is about to go through the door. He doesn’t make it, however… there is the sound of a gunshot and he falls right through the door, dead. I look where the shot came from and I see MoSh has joined the party. The next period of time is a bit unclear because there is some chaos. A couple Templars attack me and I demonstrate my Alex Mercer blade arm for them. A Templar is disoriented, looks like he has been blinded by the knight’s bright sword, and he wanders too close to the lobstrocities coming from the water and gets torn apart. I hear numerous gunshots from MoSh’s guns and soon there are even more because Roland has come back through the door and in spite of the fact he seems sick he is shooting like the guns are a part of his hands. I figure that even though I didn’t stop the venom from making Roland sick I was able to make sure he has both his hands whole.

Soon there are no more Templars, just MoSh, the knight who I am thinking might be a friend I have been trying to dream with named Austin, Roland, and me. This seems like a good chance for everyone to get to know each other. I’m not completely sure the knight is Austin, but I figure that is my best guess so I go with it and introduce everyone to everyone else since I’m the only one who knows everyone here. I am even more convinced the knight is Austin when he says I’m his sister and hugs me. I hug him back, though I’m not sure if he can even feel it through his armor. I have barely finished introducing everyone when I wake up.

The scenario is as such:

I am the narrator, covering the exploits of a woman with mannequin-like properties such as being able to take off her limbs and reattach them anytime she likes. Thing is, she's a bit flustered and doesn't know what to make of the situation.

This all culminates when she ends up almost completely disassembled in the shower. Yep.

Funny this is, this was meant to be a 'comedy', and my dream persona was talking about how "The humor always matches the situation" and stuff. Kinda weird.

After that, the dream just ended. And I woke up with a feeling of supreme surrealness when I did so...yeah.

I woke up and opened my eyes. I couldn't see because it's pitch black. but i felt that there was a person in bed next to me. They were in front of me, our faces inches apart. I have no idea who the person is but I feel comfortable. I don't feel like they are going to hurt me. And I feel like they love me. I close my eyes again and the person moves closer to me and puts their arms around me. I take a deep breath and go back to sleep.

Mom keeps making trips outside. It's well after midnight and every time she goes outside I get nervous. She grabs something that looks like a plate and heads out the door again. I follow her and while she walks towards the gate, i yell for her to come back and stop going outside because it's dangerous. She wont listen and while shes at the gate, I notice a black truck is parked in front. and a dark figure walks towards the gate. They say something to my mom. I cant hear but i know they are trying to get in. Mom says no to the figure and so I yell for her to come back and to hurry. She runs to me and we hurry inside. I close the door and lock it.

I'm standing in grandma's dining room next to Hyuk. He's holding one of my hands and with his free hand he's holding out a piece of paper for me to see. From what I can tell it's a kind of permission slip that i need to sign for some reason. I reach out and grab it from him. Hyuk then leads me by the hand to Hongbin, Leo, Ravi and Ken, who are all standing in the room as well. One by one I spend a good minute holding their hands. Hyuk says that I have to bond and it's important. I don't question him and hold each members hand happily. Then Hyuk pulls me by the hand towards a sliding glass door that leads to a porch. Sitting outside is Hakyeon. Hakyeon looks up at us and smiles. He pats the spot next to him and so I sit down. Hyuk stays standing, holding onto my right hand. Hakyeon grabs my left hand and our fingers interlock. I feel really happy to be holding their hands the most.

Dream 1

I was drawing a picture for an old friend and funnily who I thought was Dolphin from dream views. I was told not to use the red pen though. The light blue one was apparently better since it represented Dawn.


Dream 2

Walking down the stairs of my old home I prepared myself emotionally to get ready to leave the house since I was moving. But hearing footsteps behind me I became distracted. "That must be my cousin"I thought. Hurrying down the steps I made it to the hall and looked behind me to see a little boy with a orange and white sweater. He wore glasses and passed me by quickly. "Must be a new friend of my brother"I thought.

But when I went into the room and saw him playing I became suspicious. "Could you get me some water with ice"he asked me."sure"I replied than went upstairs to get the water. I opened the fridge, took the ice out, put it in the glass than poured the water. When I got down stairs I gave the boy his water."Thanks"he said."no problem"I replied. However, when I stepped outside the room I saw the boy again.

"wait a minute...How can he be in two places,no,three places at a time!?"I thought,noticing another at the corner of my eye."I must be dreaming and you, your trying to replace my brother with your presence.Leave now!"I said out loud to the one I gave the water glass.He said no and attempted to swallow me whole. But I pushed him hard near the backyard exit door."This is my dream so you must leave"I thought than wacked him in the head with my hand. He was hard as a rock though and didn't budge."Fine...I guess I'll have to do it with heart than". I opened the door than began singing a song that would change his aggressiveness towards me.He became very interested by my singing and the subtle melody that appeared. The sky got a bit darker too but I pushed the darkness back with my mind. Before I knew it I had appeared in a futuristic facility where I came across my mom.

"Could we be sharing a dream"I thought. When I saw a beast that looked partly woman and snake/green beetle, chasing her I jumped in front of it, stopped it than poofed it out of existence. Impressed with my dream control what seemed like a army of beast mixed humans looked to me. Not wanting to keep them from doing their thing, fighting the war outside, I hurried down a narrow hall but than looked back."It might be fun to help them..".Walking closer to a beast guy I said "I don't know where to start". He than pointed to a dimension door near a check out counter where a slim woman was waiting for people to sign up.

"Uhh... Did my mom come through here?"I asked."Yeah,but she said it wasn't for her. Sign here". I looked to the blue paper and proceeded to sign, till I got to the birthday date and other info lines."I came here to look for my mom. I don't know if I'm willing to fight anymore. No matter how fun it could be". Unsure I scribbled my name but than tried to finish. I was taking a long time though and woke up.

Trying to improve my dream recall.

Going to put down in my dream journal no recall if I don't remember. I read somewhere that doing this for two weeks should help improve my recall.

Was going to do write that but then I remembered a couple of things.

My cat was with another cat and swatted at it.

Also I was working in Adobe Illustrator and deleted a path in the dream. I felt like I got rid of something about myself. Don't remember what but I feel better...

Quite the long dream!

So, at first, there was some sort of bombing or tsunami or whatever (probably because I’m reading a book with a plot like that). I was with some friends and I knew right away that we should gather as many supplies as possible.

I convinced my friends that we should go to the supermarket and they started buying things. There were two girls with us that I work with, they’re very fake and selfish, so I knew I’d have to lose them somehow.

When the time came to get into the car, I left one of them in the supermarket, but the other one followed me. So I simply stared at her and shouted “YOU ARE NOT GOING WITH US”.

Then I got in the car, which didn’t exist, I was literally sitting on the floor and gliding around.

I got to my friend’s house and it finally dawned on me that I hadn’t called my parents. I called my mother and, from the sound of it, she was part of a guerrilla to survive. I was mildly disappointed that I wasn’t there.

At my friend’s house, I met my cousin and he was also wondering what we should do. He told me I should decide since I’m always reading apocalyptic stories.

My car was outside, and I kept looking at it since my keys from my keyboard kept getting stolen.

We finally went to another house and the door was open. I tried to shut it, but I was too late. We were attacked by a giant, slightly supernatural spider. I’m not sure why, I’m not afraid of spiders. It looked like Aragog.

I tried to throw an explosive at it, but I woke up before I saw what happened.

I had several times during the night where I thought I was writing down a dream. The only reason I know it was a dream is because there isn't a new dream log on my computer. The other scrap I had involved the color green. There was a green pillar I think.

I arose from my body into my bedroom as usually. Also it was dark as usually, when I travel at night. I started to walk around my house, finding nobody, not in beds, nor elsewhere. I wished for light, the darkness felt depressive. I failed to lit my aura, but I managed to see things... to see things, as if they were light sources themselves.
I went outside since there was nothing interesting inside of the house. My village was empty. I felt to be weary somehow. The only thing, that occurred to me, was to fly around... and after a short while I took course to my friend. I doubted, that I will find her when there was nobody in my village. As usually, I got lost halfway to her home... but this was at least interesting- I got lost by following the road, which unexpectedly changed into country road and ended on very high, step and rocky hill. From the upper side I saw both my village and friends village. There was no road down from that hill... strange- how was I following road when there is none now? It shouldn't vanish... I explored a top of that hill. I found there a love pair, a young girl and boy... Of course, they were disinterested in the communication.
I looked down to rocky abyss and I saw something like a shady blots moving up the steep rocky hill side. I turned and told to lovers: "mountain goats are coming this way". They looked in disbelief to me and immediately continued to kiss deeply each other. After a short while, a lineup of animals come directly to me, lead by big mountain goat... Except it wasn't normal mountain goat... it had antlers like moufflon. It came close to me and I sunk to my knees for some unknown reason... and I looked directly into its eyes. Those eyes looked back, and I saw an intelligence in them, something like old wisdom. Something like freedom, and peace. Something like I was assessed by it.
There was sinking feeling in my head and I found myself in a room filled with soft grayish light. There was young black haired boy i one corner of the room. He looked like he is working... but I could say that only by feeling, because the room was completely empty. The whole feeling was as if he is somebody important, wise and powerful.
I told him: " I got lost while walking through astral, could you send me to my friend, please?"
And he answered something like: "I can't do that, you are on too high level of astral comparing to her level and I can't change astral levels for you. You need to learn." And I was back inside of my body.

So I've been looking to lucid dream these past couple of weeks since my first one in years three weeks ago.

I've been dream journaling everyday. Reality checking all through the day. Watching movies on lucid dreaming. And reading books on it. So I can carry the Am I dreaming now feeling into the dreams. Well, it worked.

I'm having a shower with a gorgeous girl and her much younger sister. And there's a voice on loudspeakers asking us to shower together, and I take that to mean that we should move closer. We're all already naked. It's pretty platonic (we've been in the shower for the last 8 hours I realise), and I just think I'm going to be 'decent' and not a perv. But they come back with towels wrapped around them. But instead of a shower, I realise we're at a meditation retreat and we start meditating in a grassy meadow. I know I wanted to do a meditation retreat, but didn't know I'd already signed up for it. Someone says I didn't know we'd end up in Louisville (and I realise there's no way I'd end up there and realise it's a dream). I make a joke about, we're not in Kansas anymore. And i begin to drop out of the dream, and it turns wispy and abstract and I think that maybe I had a coffee in real life and thats why I'm having these semi dreams. I feel like I'm just on the fringes of the dream.

Another dream where I'm with my medschool buddies, and think to myself in the dream that I'm tired as I've been up at night trying to lucid dream. And then realise I Am in a dream. But again, it's on the fringes of the dream once I realise it. But once I do realise it, I keep talking to whoever I'm talking to. Not making any sudden moves, and just watching it play out.

In another dream, the same super gorge girl from before comes up to me and gives me a drink with a piece of warm cinnamon cheese (?!!) she's put into it. I realise we're in a dream and think I say it to here. But once I realise I get back on the fringes of the dream again.

In another dream, I'm with Jeffrin, my best bud from 30 years. And I realise it's a dream, and I'm on the fringes of the dream again. We're inside a room and chatting and I think hey, lets just be a dick to him in the dream. So I say, Jeff, you're a real asshole, huh? He doesn't bat an eyelid and comes back to me with 'How's your music practice going?. And I say whoa, you know my weak spots. He says yeah, there's around a half dozen, there's more, but I'm not fussed about them. That teaches me to behave. And I go back to doing what I'm doing on the fringes of the dream environment. And then Suddenly the room becomes fully solid. I walk looking around. Dont make the mistake of telling Jeff this is a dream. And go out on the balcony, and don't want to see or do too much as it would get me out of the dream. I'm thinking I don't want to be cooped inside the house in a dream and want to go out, but again, don't want to make any sudden moves as I want to keep the dream going. Then the super gorge girl comes into the room, and begins to put her trainers on as if to go out. I can't believe my eyes, this is a dream come true within a dream. I get to go out, and I'm going to get jiggy with this super gorge girl (who's been following me around in my dreams and seems pretty into me). But get too excited and the dream drops away.

So whilst not much happened, it's teaching me about getting the hang of lucid dreaming. Once I realise I'm lucid, the dream drops from solidity to a blurry image, and instead of giving up the ghost with that particular dream, I should just stick on, not make any sudden moves or say anything out of the ordinary, and wait for it to turn solid.

Which was something else. In one second I'm sleeping in my bed, and seeing this dream vision in front of me. And the next, I'm in a completely solid room I can walk around in, look out of the balcony overlooking the city night lights and interact with people I've seen in various other dreams.