So I've been looking to lucid dream these past couple of weeks since my first one in years three weeks ago. I've been dream journaling everyday. Reality checking all through the day. Watching movies on lucid dreaming. And reading books on it. So I can carry the Am I dreaming now feeling into the dreams. Well, it worked. I'm having a shower with a gorgeous girl and her much younger sister. And there's a voice on loudspeakers asking us to shower together, and I take that to mean that we should move closer. We're all already naked. It's pretty platonic (we've been in the shower for the last 8 hours I realise), and I just think I'm going to be 'decent' and not a perv. But they come back with towels wrapped around them. But instead of a shower, I realise we're at a meditation retreat and we start meditating in a grassy meadow. I know I wanted to do a meditation retreat, but didn't know I'd already signed up for it. Someone says I didn't know we'd end up in Louisville (and I realise there's no way I'd end up there and realise it's a dream). I make a joke about, we're not in Kansas anymore. And i begin to drop out of the dream, and it turns wispy and abstract and I think that maybe I had a coffee in real life and thats why I'm having these semi dreams. I feel like I'm just on the fringes of the dream. Another dream where I'm with my medschool buddies, and think to myself in the dream that I'm tired as I've been up at night trying to lucid dream. And then realise I Am in a dream. But again, it's on the fringes of the dream once I realise it. But once I do realise it, I keep talking to whoever I'm talking to. Not making any sudden moves, and just watching it play out. In another dream, the same super gorge girl from before comes up to me and gives me a drink with a piece of warm cinnamon cheese (?!!) she's put into it. I realise we're in a dream and think I say it to here. But once I realise I get back on the fringes of the dream again. In another dream, I'm with Jeffrin, my best bud from 30 years. And I realise it's a dream, and I'm on the fringes of the dream again. We're inside a room and chatting and I think hey, lets just be a dick to him in the dream. So I say, Jeff, you're a real asshole, huh? He doesn't bat an eyelid and comes back to me with 'How's your music practice going?. And I say whoa, you know my weak spots. He says yeah, there's around a half dozen, there's more, but I'm not fussed about them. That teaches me to behave. And I go back to doing what I'm doing on the fringes of the dream environment. And then Suddenly the room becomes fully solid. I walk looking around. Dont make the mistake of telling Jeff this is a dream. And go out on the balcony, and don't want to see or do too much as it would get me out of the dream. I'm thinking I don't want to be cooped inside the house in a dream and want to go out, but again, don't want to make any sudden moves as I want to keep the dream going. Then the super gorge girl comes into the room, and begins to put her trainers on as if to go out. I can't believe my eyes, this is a dream come true within a dream. I get to go out, and I'm going to get jiggy with this super gorge girl (who's been following me around in my dreams and seems pretty into me). But get too excited and the dream drops away. So whilst not much happened, it's teaching me about getting the hang of lucid dreaming. Once I realise I'm lucid, the dream drops from solidity to a blurry image, and instead of giving up the ghost with that particular dream, I should just stick on, not make any sudden moves or say anything out of the ordinary, and wait for it to turn solid. Which was something else. In one second I'm sleeping in my bed, and seeing this dream vision in front of me. And the next, I'm in a completely solid room I can walk around in, look out of the balcony overlooking the city night lights and interact with people I've seen in various other dreams.
Spontaneous lucid dream. First one in years (had two others people where I just flew around). When I'm in my dreams, I completely surprise the people around me by being able to levitate, and glide along the ground. Sometimes raise my body up to 10-20 feet as I almost fly. Angling my body around to change direction, and being able to increase speed by leaning forwards and decrease speed, or come to a stall by leaning backwards. I've often told myself that I can only do this in dreams, and if I find myself doing it in one of my dreams to realise that it is a dream. Well, that happened. I'm flying around in my old medschool campus, and realise hey, I'm flying, this must be a dream. I keep flying, gliding around and come to rest in a garden where people are listening to a talk. I see a beautiful lady being pestered by this guy who's hitting on her. I know now I've seen her in other dreams. I go up to her and kiss her, and she smiles and I lift her up off her seat, carry her a couple of steps and walk with her. She's happy I've saved her from the sex pest. I'm walking with her, and tell her this is a dream and I'm completely lucid. I know that she's a theta healer, I've seen her in other dreams, and can also recall that there was a time she slept with someone else at another conference. She think's it's cool, and helps me down a staircase and lets me into a room where I meet a group of my old friends. Everything seems absolutely real. Solid, obeying laws of physics. I tell him I've realised I'm in the middle of a dream, and so are they. And they don't believe me. I say, I can prove it. And they don't believe I can. One of them says Hey Ryan wants to prove to us that this is a dream, and asks a couple of guys chatting to be silent. I say, 'Okay. Count your fingers!'. (you can't count your fingers, and or use light switches in dreams). And they absolutely shit when they find out. Lots of shouts of whoa! WTF! as they all realise that it really is a dream. I pick something up, a tiny bottle filled with a yellow liquid and I say okay, lets test things out a bit and think about throwing it on the floor. I wonder about pieces of glass, and spilt liquid, that other people have to avoid after I do this. And just as I start to hesitate.... that's when the dream completely dissolves and I'm awake again. Maybe my mind just couldn't handle keeping so many lucid consciousnesses alive in the dream. Heck, it's a surprise I was able to keep the lucidity going for as long as I did. The last lucid dream I had was around 5 years ago, when I counted my fingers, realised I was dreaming and instantly took a couple of steps, took a jump and started flying. I think now this realise I'm dreaming when I'm flying thought has been firmly embedded, I might just have a lot more lucid dreams. Unless that thought makes me stop flying now. But I don't think so. I fly pretty often in my dreams, and in an earlier dream tonight I realised I spooked an elephant when I was flying, and it started to attack me, and I had to drop down to the ground and dodge it standing on the other side of a pillar and.. okay, that's another dream and another story.
2017, 09-26 Game of Dreams – The Mystery Gunslinger I am outside at night in a place I don’t recognize. The moon is covering the area in a silvery light. I look around and I see wide spaced trees and grass and a few rocks, but nothing particularly interesting. There is a town not far away that looks like something out of an RPG. I wonder where I am and what I am here to do. Then I see movement, someone is approaching the town. A lot of people are trying to stealthily approach the town, though not trying too hard because the moonlight gives them away. The people approaching are a bunch of armed warriors and I know they are there to cause death and destruction. They are all riding horses, but not moving very quickly. I morph my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and move towards the approaching warriors. When I get close enough for the warriors to see me one of them comes forward, probably their leader. He asks what a lone little girl is doing out here by herself? I say I am here to make sure he and his friends don’t cause any trouble. He asks what if they do? There’s nothing a little girl like me can do to stop them. Since they haven’t seen my Alex Mercer blade yet I hold it out to make sure they do. The man who has been talking to me does a double take and then says I’m not a little girl after all, I’m a little freak… a little abomination… and I will be the first one to die tonight. I ready my blade and tell the man that anyone among them who dares should go ahead and bring it, they’ll soon regret it. The man who has been speaking to me says he can take care of this alone. He gets off his horse and walks over towards me with his sword ready. He makes a couple attempts to strike me and I block both. He attacks more seriously, but I block those attacks as well. Some of the other thugs are starting to mock him now. He pauses and glares at me, so I say it’s my turn now. I attack him with my blade arm and he blocks with his sword, but this time my blade arm cuts right through it. The man is stunned long enough for my blade to remove his head. The others stare as the man’s body collapses. One of them says I am a monster and must die! They close in around me, one of them says no one does that to a Lannister and gets away with it. So they are Lannisters… that means I am in a Game of Thrones dream. I really don’t want to hurt any horses here, so I start by sending a telepathic message to each of the horses to buck off their riders. The horses respond and many of the riders fall of because they were unprepared, the rest end up getting off because their horses are impossible to handle or direct. The horses all take off. I say now that the innocents are out of the way I can take care of all those pathetic cowards who were trying to attack a civilian town. Even after what they saw happen to the first man the others are figuring I haven’t got a chance against all of them. I start proving them wrong. I cut down the first couple that come carelessly at me and the others stay back a bit longer, maybe trying to formulate a plan. I don’t think they’re capable of too much of a plan and I attack, cutting another one down. As this is going on I hear a voice calling, “Save some for me!” That makes me and all of the thugs look over to see a man approaching. One of them asks who the fuck he is, but I know. It’s MoSh! I wonder what he is doing in a Game of Thrones dream, but he doesn’t pause. He pulls out a pair of guns and starts shooting. His shots are perfectly aimed, taking down one of the thugs with each shot targeted directly between their eyes. It seems my arm blade is no longer the most impressive thing here to them, now they are talking about the man who wields thunder in his hands and passes out death with it. One of the enemies near me mutters, “What is he? A wizard?” I say no, he’s a gunslinger, before relieving him of his head. Some of the thugs are running into the town and MoSh follows them. A man is trying to use a crying woman as a shield and I hear MoSh tell him he has forgotten the face of his father before blasting the confused look off of his face, leaving the woman untouched. I get back to work, as there are far more enemies still around. I cut more of them down as they seem more disorganized than ever, not sure where to go or what to attack. As I am fighting I hear numerous more gunshots sound out and I know MoSh is taking out more enemies since there are no guns here. After a while MoSh and I are standing alone amidst the bodies of fallen enemies, all that remained alive have fled. MoSh comes over to me and holsters his guns, which are clearly genuine gunslinger weapons from Roland Deschain’s world, very fine and powerful weapons. MoSh looks around and then at me. He asks where Roland is. I can’t help but chuckle as I tell him Roland is in a different dream… this is the Game of Thrones world! Everything fades and I wake up.
Morning of September 26, 2017. Tuesday. Dream Series: The Experience of Prescience, the Inexplicable Dream State Phenomenon. Part 1 My wife Zsuzsanna and our children (mostly as we appear now in reality) are living in a house that is similar to our present home (and implied to be our present home), though it has a fictional second storey. Over time, I become aware that the sun is too hot. I mostly become aware of this upon going to the second floor with Zsuzsanna, which is mostly featureless and resembles the second floor of the Loomis Street house when the apartment was empty, as there is a singular window on one side of the large room and a ceiling sloped on both sides. (I have not been in this house in real life since 1994.) I feel intense heat and so I realize that we need to go back downstairs. I assume that the world is ending, but I do not feel very emotional about it. I tell our youngest son that the world will be burned up soon. Still, I want all of our family together for “the end”. In the last segment of my dream, we all go into our oldest son’s room. Zsuzsanna and most of our children are present in the room. Our oldest son is seemingly not present at this time and I become concerned about his well-being. Eventually, Zsuzsanna and our youngest son slide out a cardboard storage box from under our oldest son’s bed (in the same location as it is in reality). (The large cardboard box has similar colors and sparse imagery as that otherwise found on a pizza box.) Our oldest son is sleeping in it. I am relieved, though I still have concern about his health and hope he will wake soon. Friday, 30 March 2018: What I presently understand about this dream, based on the following real-life event: From exactly one week after this dream, in real life, our oldest son had to spend four days in the hospital from severe food poisoning where I then held the same mood that my dream self had. Despite The Sleeper factor (as well as the rendering of the bed) otherwise being a common dream state indicator since early childhood, signifying the subliminal recognition of being asleep, it was specifically linked to very detailed prescience in this case. Our oldest son being in a cardboard storage box under his bed seems to be a subliminal association with both a pizza box and a coffin, and as such, could have been a very specific warning had I paid more attention. Additionally, on November 7, our oldest son’s room is where my family gathered for protection from the storm, though this proved to be futile, as the roof had been torn off and rain poured through the ceiling, though of course it was not the literal end of the world. Dreams in which there is “something wrong with the sun” have been very common since early childhood. The usual cause of this is based on the conscious self identity not being viable within the dream state, as the sun symbolizes the conscious self identity in the context of clarity of awareness and with viable thinking skills (which do not otherwise exist in the dream state). Some people might catch the play on “something wrong with the sun” regarding our son, as he did have a fever in his severe illness. This specific association could be coincidence, but since the validated-as-premonitory thread “something wrong with my son” could very well be the autosymbolic trigger in this case, it might not be coincidental. It may also be relevant that the Loomis Street second-floor window is to the east in reality, and this is where our oldest son sleeps in orientation to where Zsuzsanna and I sleep, as a window has been validated long ago to signify unconscious communication with someone else in some cases. The fictional second floor implied to be of our present home is possibly a transpersonal factor (interconsciousness) related to a certain band of liminal space (though is otherwise only an emergent consciousness factor). Dreams that are dominantly prescient also typically lack the usual RAS mediation found in other dream types.
Lately, my dreams have been less and less vivid and I don't know why. Fragment 1: I was watching a TV documentary where there was a rock band that consisted only of hippies. The drummer/leader of the band said that "We are willing to indulge ourselves in this absent minded spanish music" Fragment 2: I was in my art classroom watching the nightmare before christmas with V. When the opening was about to happen, V said "this is the best part" and then the narrator who would normally be telling us about halloween land or whatever was instead singing something to the tune of hotel california but one octve down. I then woke up.
D1 - In a school building, planning a lesson, I am suited and there is a headteacher observing me and we have some discussion. D2 - I am trudging through snow. I feel the wetness and cold, and see the lumpy footprints i am leaving behind as I make my way uphill. Notes : My dream usually have about five common people in them. So I decided I would use them, obviously as dream signs. But when I set that as my intention last night, it meant they did not appear in any dreams whatsoever. This happens regularly, I choose a dream sign, so my subconscious filters it out of my dreams. How I can use this to my advantage?
Meditation + WBTB procured me two lucid dreams. Throughout one lucid dream I was rubbing my hands to stabilize. It worked to some extent. When I walked outside my house, everything was overcast like it was a rainy, depressed 7AM in Texas. It felt quite cold as well. Tried to change the sky, but things just got darker. When into some houses; I was looking for someone. Onward and upward.
Morning of September 25, 2017. Monday. In my dream, I find myself with a personified version of the preconscious that I created in the 1980s. Although this form is active every now and then, like most forms of the preconscious, there is typically no connection to waking life or the pretense of “interpretation”. This male in my dream as the role of the RAS (reticular activating system), which is what biologically controls the waking transition and its symbolism between consciousness and unconsciousness, is of the “Hierarchy”, a term I created in the 1980s for the nature of the dream state and its various core components and real-time symbolism including circadian rhythms symbolism. Its inherent waking symbolism is of a necessarily biological authority, unrelated to waking life. (Dream symbolism is more about the nature of being unconscious than being awake, kind of a no-brainer really, yet most of society presently completely ignores this truth.) Alex (Alexander; chosen because it means “defender of men” or “protector of mankind”, a good analogy for RAS) and I are in an unknown building. It may be a library, as shelves and dividing walls that do not reach the ceiling are present. There is an unfamiliar elderly woman present. Though I am never lucid (or even subliminally lucid), we are here to research the nature of the Hierarchy, and the woman mentions some sort of ancient document, which supposedly relates to this organization that secretly rules and protects mankind. At one point, Alex and the woman are on the other side of a shelf that is almost up to the ceiling. I can hear him confirm that the document is genuine. Wondering what my role in all this is, I decide to climb up to the top of the shelf. I look through a few boxes on the top shelf. I look down and see an unusual anthropomorphic crescent moon cookie cutter, though it is vertically oriented rather than of a logical cookie cutter design. It has the essence of an ancient artifact and I find it interesting. I ask Alex if I can have this and use it in my work. He informally tells me that there are “no cookie cutters” in the Hierarchy, more so referring to the prospective role of being a cookie cutter in the Hierarchy. Later, I am with my older brother Dennis (who still lives in America and last seen in real life in 1994). I tell him about the Hierarchy and about Alex. I say that Alex has “limitless diamonds” and owns whatever he wants. The moon represents the circadian rhythms factor of dreaming (as night is typically associated with the dream self while daylight and the sun represent the dynamics of conscious self identity). Its being a cookie cutter signifies the nature of lucid dreaming under conscious self identity creation. The fact that there are apparently “no cookie cutters” in the Hierarchy translates as RAS being of a biological factor and that one should not have full conscious control of circadian rhythms cycles, which could damage the physical body. This does not limit or suspend any potential for apex lucidity of course, which mostly occurs in the morning anyway within my last dream. The cookie cutter’s position on the shelf is more about the dynamic of this part of the sleeping and dreaming cycle, the moon’s crescent form signifying my percentage of unconscious awareness and percentage of vividness of the dream state (for example, a full moon would indicate full awareness while in the dream state). Liminal space dividers in the dream state are symbolized in real time by walls, fences, or high shelves. My act of climbing the shelf is symbolic of my dream self (subliminally) seeking more understanding of RAS and the preconscious. My comment to Dennis about the diamonds relates that the preconscious and RAS are of the main biological power behind sleeping and waking transitions. Being within a large diamond is one of the Mastership meditations that in part represents clarity of thought even when unconscious (though again, I do not have viable lucidity in this dream). This dream is mainly the result of a new variant of affirmation-based dream preparation. Instead of using “after” and doing the count after a particular affirmation, I have changed this to “anytime after” for a number of reasons. For example, “anytime after” is far more powerful than “after”, as “after” would otherwise denote “immediately after” or “soon after” while “anytime after” would be far more likely to integrate into the continuity of a later dream, either literally or symbolically depending on the desired outcome.
D1 - Abstract kind of dream, different persona are fighting (a bit) over whos incharge of me. I see them as floating heads, in groups of 4, sort of in bubbles. The group in charge have a woman head honcho, she is distinctive as her face is white and green due to the lighting and her eyes are blue & green but the colours are split like when people try and get a 3d effect by splitting the colours on the image (to be reassembled via 3d glasses). D2 - There is an election going on with a load of people gathered in a park. I have had this park before in a dream about a college, in this dream however the white stone building in the centre of the park is a hall for voting. The campaigning party are represented by a fluorescent light Greek blue colour, which is floating around in the air (kind of). D3 - Had a rambling dream of travelling somewhere by bike I think. Then I set off to work early morning, feeling quite pleased with myself that I am organised and will arrive on time before rest of family are even up. I then look around in the early light and notice that in every direction there are towering plumes of black smoke, on the horizon. I think "oh shit, apocalypse" and hurry back home.
+ football play, I'm playing! [a lot of the time normally I'm just observing the play]. I line up on the right side at the line of scrimmage, looking down the line towards the center and the ball, seeing the heads/hands of the players on both sides. I'm keeping my eyes only on the ball and ignoring the snap count, because I know there are deceptive snap words. In fact I do see false starts/offside movements by both sides a little and wonder if there will be a flag, but no the ball is snapped and I start running. I make my way down the field to the defensive secondary line and there I'm blocked by a big defender and I just can't make my way around him. The ball does not come to me but to a teammate, but he reaches me and I wriggle free to receive a lateral handoff from him. Then I start running [I now realize] the other way back down the field. + in the car, a guy is in the back, and my dad, I'm in the front seat (standing), I notice LB is there too, in a revealing peach colored outfit showing a lot of skin including a thong showing off a great asset, and I catch the guy in the back staring at her behind. + parking a car in a spot that may be a bit hard to get out of (hard to turn around), there is a parking attendant there. Talking with a woman about how I'm going to get to a certain spot, she's indicating I need to take one mode of transport that I think goes too far in the wrong direction, I explain that I've parked my car in [city Cu]. + in a bathroom, walking back and forth, I see the toilet seat I want is covered with a seat guard ring made from a washcloth, I think this is a great idea rather than using a disposable toilet seat guard, someone in there asks me why I'm going back and forth all the time + [DO] I'm floating along the path of some vehicle with an unobstructed view out the front, it's driving over grass and curbs made from packed gravel, there is a conversation (me talking?) about how there are too many enumerated values for a certain variable in a program, I'm realizing that the uninitialized value can fully take the place of one of the enumerants, and I'm pondering this trying to think if it's really true or not while the vehicle continues on, making left and right turns
The events in my dream are kinda random but remembered a lot. I'm trying to get into what looks like an elevator. I'm hanging onto a rocky grassy area underneath something maybe like a bridge trying to get my girlfriend's attention. There's a crowd of men in suits somewhere. I ask my teacher if it's too late to turn in my homework and it looks like there's no one in the room we're in. I see an old friend and I don't like what he says to someone. I'm in a forest or tree area but I wasn't aware enough to know what I was doing there.
I really want to get back into actively practicing lucid dreaming. I miss being on here and discussing dreams with you people! What follows are a few of the most interesting dreams I've had lately. 09.16.2017Lonliness (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Something has occurred that causes Cheyenne and Jake to forget about me. It's something like a spell or an alternate timeline where we never met and became friends. All I really recall is a rainy night, incomprehensible lonliness, and finally speaking to Cheyenne again even though she does not remember me. 09.16.2017Foolishness (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Note: This was basically expected. I took one 4mg tablet of Galantamine before bed and another during WBTB at 3 am. That is always a recipe for intense sleep paralysis, which was my goal. I'm trying to use it as a gateway for astral projection, or at least a good lucid. I'm lucid, walking down the street where I grew up at night. Still affected by my previous dream, I summon Cheyenne to keep me company. I call out her name--- my usual method of summoning. A voice calls back from the darkness, but it's distorted and wrong. "YOU'RE not Cheyenne," I accuse the voice. "Yes I am." The voice is normal now. Cheyenne approaches me from a dark path out of the trees by the edge of the road. Foolishly, I assume the original distortion must have been an effect of the sound bouncing off the almost tunnel like grove of trees. I am too desperate for companionship after my previous dream to question it further. I figure, this is a dream, so it's not REALLY her anyway. Cheyenne walks with me back to my childhood home, where I lay down on a hammock around the side of the house. I am laying with my back to her, but it seems for a moment as though she has disappeared, much to my disappointment. If only that were the case... Because suddenly I hear a demonic voice shriek from behind me, "FOOLED YOU!!!!" as a creature latches onto my back, cackling madly, its arm coming around to dig its long claws painfully into my chest. It falls with me into the dark void of sleep paralysis, mocking me with its shrill, shrieking laughter all the while. My first thought is that I definitely had this coming to me. Despite my fear and pain, I remember telling myself NOT to try to wake up if I have SP tonight. I hold out for as long as I can, but eventually I give in to the fear and force myself awake. 09.21.2017Final Destination (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID The early part of the dream is a bit vague. I'm helping someone with computer stuff. There's also a girl I like with pretty blonde hair. It's as I'm leaving this place that things start to go downhill. My boss has gotten himself mixed up in some Deep Web murder club with an invamous serial killer/hacker named "Sabine." He's going to one of their meetings right now (apparently they meet in a physical place?) and I make the mistake of walking with him to his truck, which is parked outside the convention hall. He asks if I want to come with him and I almost do, but change my mind. Unfortunately, during this brief span of time, I've drawn the interest of Sabine. I have the option to join or die, and I refuse to do either. But Sabine is seemingly everywhere, with eyes in all forms of technology. I have no idea how to stay constantly vigilant agains a club of murderers who are determined to stalk and kill me. There is also a paranormal aspect to what is happening, but I fear the Murder Club humans much more. There is a person I'm trying to protect who is also being targeted. I think it's the pretty blonde girl from before. I remember holding her hand, and we might have kissed. Can't really remember this part too clearly. She is involved with the paranormal part of this--- she is a Star who has fallen to earth and needs to find her way home. She is missing a lot of her memory, though. In turn, I have "memories" of these events happening before, in alternate timelines. I have a conversation with who I think is one of the murderers about what's going on as he mocks me and prepares to kill me. I realize that he's not actually one of the human members of the club; instead, he is a Reaper. I laugh at him, saying I'm not afraid to die at the hands of a Reaper and that he can just go ahead and kill me. He swings his scythe at me mut it hits an invisible barrier. I laugh again. "Looks like you can't do it." I know I am protected against the likes of him, because I know how to use my spiritual energy to defend myself. He wonders out loud what could have caused this. To throw him off his game, I say something about "the Frenchman," apparently referring to the fallen angel Asher. (Asher was a character of mine back in high school. An annoying French angel. In the dream, however, we knew each other from one of the alternate timelines.) I end up in a bar with my Star friend. Asher bursts in the door, but he looks different than how I remember him. His famous blonde hair is dyed black. He also does not yet remember me from the other timelines, but I know that he will. I'm now with Asher outside my current residence. Evil vines come from the woods and try to strangle him, but I set them on fire. They scream like banshees as they burn.
I was on the blacktop at school. Everybody was doing a bunch of crazy activities when I saw the only teacher who has a PHD in teaching, who we'll call Dr. B. I went to him, showing off my Frances the Mute CD. "I have an album that I want you to listen to" I said. "it's an album called Frances the Mute by The Mars Volta. You won't be able to play it here at school because it's kind of inappropriate, but I want you to listen to this as soon as you get home." Or at least I said something like that. "Ok, then. Sounds like a plan." He said. I then woke up.
In my dreams, I am almost always about 17. Sometimes I am 21. I am 37 IRL. In my dreams I visit people, I just hang out with them. I did this last night. I was lucid. I rode my bike to a friends house, it was a couple of guys, not guys I was interested in, just friends. One was working on his car. Something boxy in the late 90's fashion. The other was checking his phone. They were kind of nerdy, D&D type of guys. The one working on his car was a heavy set neckbeard type of male, in his early 20's and the other was a skinny, ginger with curly hair and an Adam's apple that screamed not my type. But we were friends, it was fun just sitting there smoking cigarettes, asking what they were up to and seeing if they were going to go to the "arcade" later. They weren't. He shared something important with me before I left, and I will share it in a minute. The arcade is a place I visited in another dream, over a year ago, but I visited it twice since. Everyone is there, all of my old friends from highschool, and all about 19 - or 21 is years old. Even dead friends are there, in the dream world there is no distinction. Dead or alive, we all exist as we were. I had never seen these two boys before in waking life, but I know that I know them. I know them. I know their souls somehow, we are friends, we are at ease with each other. The kind of ease where there is no sexual tension, the kind of ease when you can just hang out in silence looking at Facebook (even though 20 years ago FB didn't exist) on your phone and it is cohesive. After about an hour I took off and said goodbye. I told some other friends that I wanted to go to the Arcade and asked if they thought people would be there. They said yes. I knew that when I got there I would see several people from my past and it would be easy, like old times. Maybe have a beer and play a game of pool - even though I am an alcoholic and haven't picked up a bottle since 2013. But it is different there. This morning I learned that this place has a name, it is called the "Deepdown." There we don't age, the dead aren't dead, and alcoholism isn't a thing. There in the "Deepdown" we are young, we are immortal, the feeling of friendship and love prevails. The Deepdown is what I call the dreaming place, the lucid place. It is a real place. I know it's real, it is more than the firing of random neurons pretending it is real. I know it's real because I know my way around the Deepdown. There is a theater I can find, an old town that used to have people in in it before 1998, but they moved along to keep up with the tourism and the big box stores, the old ladies in Flo caps and aprons smoke cigarettes and point to pictures on the wall that show old pictures of big holiday parades, people lined up on the sides of the street to watch the floats, and the celebrities and to peek in the store windows. The restaurants are mostly empty, their decor is old Ponderosa Pine and Wagon Wheels, and cobwebs. Most of the store fronts are boarded up now. In the Deepdown my parents are young, they are in their 30's or 40's. They think I am a kid. I have to sneak out and being under the stars, smelling the grass, hearing the crickets as I zoom on my bike towards a place to meet my friends is exhilarating. Only in the Deepdown do I get to see these people, do I get to remember the thrill of being young and of being free and the smell of the night when it smelled like endless possibilities. Not all dreams take me to the Deepdown, some are shallow, some barely scratch the surface, you can tell-they are superficial. I don't know the people there. But in the Deepdown, when my subconscious has plunged through layers and layers of whatever it is that constructs the dark spaces between memories, I am in a real place. I've seen my friends who have passed from this earth, there they don't know they are dead, because there I guess they aren't. I'm totally lucid in this place, I could effect things, I could change the color of the sky or tell my parents I am 37 years old, but I don't. I just enjoy it. I marvel at how young they look. Call it what you want, I call it the Deepdown. Because that is how it feels, it feels like a whole other Universe, way Deep Down inside of the layers that constitute my awareness. I know it is called this because that is what my friend told me. I looked up at the stars and I smelled the sweetness of being young and out in the night with people I liked. I said- What is this place? The boy looked up at me, he looked through huge thin brass aviator glasses that had smudges on them and he took them off to clean them. He put them back on and he smiled at me. He said - "This is the Deepdown" He ran the words together just like that. I could see the words in my mind as he said them, they were together, not separate like we would say it here, but one word- the "Deepdown." "Why is that important?" I asked, excited to hear him say something I felt was significant. He looked at me bored. "In the Deepdown, you know them." And I did- I do. I know them. In the Deepdown, nothing changes, I know them, they know me. I woke up knowing for certain that the people I speak to, the friends I see in that place that he calls the "Deepdown" are people I know, just as I knew them then, unchanged and it is comforting to know I will go back again.
Updated 09-24-2017 at 09:22 AM by 93943
I was playing what looked like a JRPG. I was in the process of making a ship in the game which had a TV that you could play another JRPG on. Meanwhile, N and another friend of mine who we'll call V were talking when N noticed what I was doing. "What are you doing?" She said, quickly stealing the WASD keys from me and moving my character off of the raised platform he was on. I responded with "i'm playing an RPG" and then moved my character to the right. This character's speed was so fast that I moved across the screen in less than a second. I then continued with what I was doing. I then woke up.
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