All DJ Entries

Morning: (somewhere along 5am-7am)

I was staying in a mansion of sorts. Reminds me somehow of Victorias. There was very white pug that wants to be scratched on the belly. I was waiting for someone or some people. There were cars. The place feels familiar from another dream.

Afternoon-Evenng: (around 5pm-7pm)

I was looking for something. I ended up near or on the old place I was renting (doesn't look like it IRL). Some people are renting the place. I needed to get something there or do something. A massage? I went in. Lico was there? It wasn't him at first. There are two other rooms. One room was for business. I asked for the price. I got an answer but forgot it immediately. It was a decent, big office but mostly empty. I thought it'd be great to have the center there. It's in Mandaluyong.

I went in. It was dark but not blinding dark. Just no light but I can see a bit. The landlady(?) handed me the papers but gave it to Lico first for checking. I asked again about the rent. I think I mentioned 18k, but I think she scoffed. I told Lico I'll just ask her when she's not busy since she seems to be going about. I left along with the others. I thought about how nice would be to stay in that place. Then I realized everybody left, and the place would be empty. I wondered if it's for rent now, and if I can get a discount. That would be nice: a place all for me.

We walked down the stairs and along the street. It was evening, and it felt more like a medieval evening with its cobblestone sidewalk, not the light-filled evening of Metro Manila. It's reminiscent of a 3 a.m. Manila. Mostly quiet, few people about. A hint of danger.

We kind of got separated, some of us walking with others. I was kind of in the middle. In the back, I saw two of ours (a male and a female) approach another (a couple of males). The approached male reminds me of a BL actor. They were all wearing black suit/pants/dress. We continued walking.

We somehow ended up near the shore. And then I noticed that some of our group that went ahead are walking and almost drowning in the water. They just kept walking. Some of us realized and helped them. However, an old man and an old woman are already dead, and somehow both naked.

Somehow it seems that some of us were possessed or pretended to be possessed and killed them. One guy in particular was walking and I felt like kicking him in the face. Not sure if he was lying. It was daytime then.

1: In a city that resembles a fusion of Harrogate and Ripon. I know it is near Hull. With my uni friends. We are discussing disatisfaction with our course. The streets have shops that are each based on a single animated Disney film. An odd scene where I pull my own left nipple off. No pain or any reaction at all, really. I think at some point I was trying to avoid someone.

2: Nana's house. Looking through old ps1 games. Instead of regular discs, each game is saved on a small, black circle that resemble fridge magnets. I recall an animaniacs, a Donald Duck and a sonic game. Myuncle is there and some of the games are his. I drop one of the "discs" but after a bit of fumbling I recover it. We play Sonic, but the game appears to be a sevely altered version of Sonic heroes that changes into a more accurate version of sonic Genearations. I notice this, but dont become lucid.

3: At my house. Night time. Old primary school teacher knocks on the door and passes a letter through informing us she wants to help. My mom insults the letter for being messy and expresses ridicule at how she ever became a teacher.

4: Still night. I'm making my way through our neighborhood, occasionally taking to the roofs, looking for someone. Quite vivid.

5: In the fusion city. Been barred from a shop. Go wandering. See my boss in a barbers getting a haircut. H eorders a drink from the barbers in a loud voice I can hear from across the street. I walk on. A vivid scene of standing at the top of an escalator with a pretty girl. She doesn't seem happy with me. After travelling for an hour dream time, I realise that I am so far away that even if I start back now, I can't get back to work on time. I then realise that I don't care and keep moving.


All in all, an odd collection. More bleak and depressing than my usual dreams are.

I walked up a mountain at a street. The street started to be very slippery. A some point I decided to turn back because of it. I slid down the street and flew in a village. I became lucid. Somehow I felt a bit confused and headed towards the forest. Then I woke up.

This was my first induced lucid in a long time. I tuck a break from lucid dreaming and now started again. Although I had some random lucids in between

Dream 1:
I insert a house from some distant relative. The house is big but with old fashioned furnitures and decorations. My girlfriend and I moved there but we struggle with a clause that forced us to split the house with the former owner's horse, which must live inside the house with us otherwise we lose the possession of the mansion. The horse is beautiful and with a nice temper but we are not completely satisfied because of the peculiar situation.

Dream 2: I work in a prison and we are in the middle of a very big wedding party which all the inmates are invited. At a certain point a controversial event takes place and the inmates start to demonstrate against the security. The security did its job and forced the inmates inside their own cells. In the act of discussing the events with a prison resource manager, it reveals me that the whole event was actually a test planned in its minutest detail, and that The Netherlands is the most advanced country in the world in this kind of event planning.

Both my dreams have been acted in English.

Morning of September 13, 2012. Thursday.



I become lucid in a slow entry transition (the usual lucid and willfully manipulated hypnagogia after making love in real life) and our bedroom takes on different features.

Of course, there is still the residual energy of wanting more intimacy and sustained harmony. Zsuzsanna and I eat strawberries (on a small yellow plate) at one point.

After our romance and intimacy, I am somewhat in a non-lucid state now. I become puzzled, more over my decreasing level of awareness (but which vivifies in the last scene) than by the fact our bedroom is rendered with the wrong layout (not directly linked to the lounge room and kitchen as it is in real life). The paint on the horizontal wall boards is peeling (yet it was not before) which I vaguely recall means that my dream is beginning to ebb, yet my lucidity is no longer viable.

I feel an urge to see if the door is open and it is. I approach the doorway. There is nothing visible beyond. I feel puzzled by an anticipatory mood emerging from within me.

The Cat in the Hat’s hat appears in the doorway, though with no cat. It floats in the air, tips slightly forward and I feel amused, waking with cheerfulness and humor.

---

This dream has the usual dynamics as have been in the same sequential components (through tens of thousands of dreams) since early childhood, though I have grown to appreciate, enjoy, and greatly respect how the nuances are always slightly different.

Firstly, it is doorway waking symbolism, where a doorway is rendered as the dream’s implied exit point as an emergent consciousness factor (sometimes triggered by real-life environmental noise but not always, as the reticular activating system often uses the memory of a door knock or door-opening sound to activate waking, though no door knock occurs in this case).

Secondly, the sense of puzzlement is what causes the stovepipe hat to be rendered. Although “The Skunk” is an early childhood dream from 1965, it has very similar dynamics, where the white part of the skunk formed a question mark when I entered the higher liminal space of unconsciousness while becoming closer to consciousness (and also ends with doorway waking symbolism). Stovepipe hats represent the emergent consciousness and the concept is related to “put on your thinking cap” as analogous to waking from the dream state (emergence of thinking skills which the non-lucid dream self does not possess). They have featured as such in a number of my dreams since childhood.

Finally, the essence of a cat is linked but not fully. Depending on the dream of course, cats often serve as a liminal space symbol. This is mainly because of my childhood association of a cat sitting on a fence, a fence being the division between unconsciousness and emerging consciousness.

---

I SO wish I remembered more of last nights dreams!!!

I recall a man somehow tied in to me. He had cucumber slices on his face and many, many eyes.

In another dream, there were people with a third eye in the center of their head... but one boy, from the US didn’t have a true eye. When you first saw him, he had just a slight bump, but then it got bigger and bigger. It was some kind of wart. It expanded out, almost like a horn, it got bigger still until it was larger then everyone in the audience and consumed the boy. It looked like neither a horn nor a wart. It was ridged where it kept expanding, but it was expanding at the base.

Another dream was a zombie dream. But it was more old school video game meets zombies meets real life. I was in a swarm of zombies, weaving through them, trying to reach giant crystals for a speed boost what game did that come from? Sonic? Mario Cart?

Oh yeah, in yet another dream I kept passing signs in a foreign language. I kept asking a guy to translate them for me.

Oh yeah (again lol) in another dream, I was at my Grams house. My uncle was apologizing for not improving the yard. I was confused why he was making a big fuss about it. It was there yard. If they wanted dog and horse poop everywhere, there wasn’t anything I could do about it. My Grams explained it was because of the kids who play in the yard, and also because they weren’t allowed to park along the road any more....then I was swimming and my uncle was upset because I was too pretty and getting too much attention which was making him jealous (my Uncles IRL were mentally disabled. The uncle in the dream was like a mesh of those 3 in one).

Another dream was about brothers. One was beating the other and one was being sexually abused. I recall them scurrying through a small window, running, getting into trouble but that’s it.
That’s been a strange, recurring dream lately. I keep dreaming about brothers and sexual abuse.
In a dream earlier this week, I dreamed a man went back in time so he could rape his younger self. What the heck? I can usually tell or guess the origin of my dreams...

Unless the brother dreams come from a show I was binging called “Bloodline”. Okay. I can see that giving me the brothers, it what about the sexual abuse? Maybe that’s coming from the news and all the allegations against Hollywood. Hmmmm...

In dream, my appearance is different, presumably roleplaying some random guy. I have short black hair that is graying on the sides, and I am to meet this woman (my girlfriend/fiance/wife) for a dinner date at a fancy restaurant on top of a skyscraper. However she stands me up and because it is a couples restaurant I am going to get kicked out if my date does not show up soon.

I call her and she says she's mad at me but she won't tell me why. (As in that was literally her exacting dialogue.) "I'm mad at you but I won't tell you why." I think this is kind of bizarre. There's also some kind of rule in the restaurant that you have to finish all of the food at your table, and since the girl doesn't show up but her food has already been ordered I have to eat her meal as well as mine, get sick from eating too much and throw up.

I start thinking about how I should be at home working on college assignments and how going on dates is really out of character for me. I become semi-lucid, only for a moment and soft reset the dream. I manage to remove the plot line and revert my appearance to my typical dream-self but lose control after that and lost lucidity. The dream repeats in some manner.

Manei appears in the restaurant wearing a sequined red dress. Apparently she was so stunning that everyone started clapping and cheering for her. Except me was just looking down at the pile of puke that was still in my lap, thinking about how I might be about to add more to it. The dream had become wrought with that queasy I've-eaten-too-much overfull feeling, and I started looking for an a

I false awaken in my living room. Manei is there watching TV. I become lucid again.

"I love how a traditional date night is more terrifying to you than an actual nightmare." She said sarcastically.

I assumed she was the one creating the previous dream scene and responded. "Only when you contrive it like that. Besides, it seems like someone likes to Mary Sue."

...

At some point we were playing Lego Star wars togther on the playstation in the Living room.

...

At another point, I am practicing my Fire Jets. We have both shrunk to only a couple inches tall but are still in my living room. Apparently I figured out I could project them to Manei and give her the ability, but not keep it myself. She flies up onto the seat of the couch and spins around in the air.

-+-

I managed to complete my lightsaber fight dream goal sometime after the competition. I don't know why exactly I wound up having a lucid dream pertaining to it, as it was sort of a joke goal and one that I had just made up in the spur of the moment. That wasn't to say I was completely unenthusiastic about the idea, just wouldn't have made it a priority is all.

I recall the setting being very vivid. It was a grassy plain surrounded on three sides by a dense thicket of tropical plants, and on the remaining side by to large rock mesas with a terraced platform in-between. Large bismuth crystals, some much taller than me, emerged from the ground in the plain. Farros was on the horizon, so we were clearly somewhere out on the proper dreamscape.

Manei appeared and we were both wearing jedi robes. She pulled out a green double bladed lightsaber and we started fighting. She showed me some move using the force where she could through a saber out and attack the person from a distance by controlling it precisely with force pushes and pulls and begged the question of why adequately powerful characters in star wars never thought of fighting like this. I said that it was a good point, and I would have to ask someone knowledgeable of SW canon why that was.

At some point she managed to cut me in half at the waist. I 'died' and began floating upwards as a spirit. I willed my body to reform and reappeared in the physical realm. I got distracted and started examining my previous body, noting the extreme realism of the face when I touched it.

-+-

The Steven Universe episode started with Steven in his house with Connie. The two were building models of star wars spaceships. Steven built a model of this blue and white ship that had a long mast and two big engine pods. Somebody wrote the network because they thought the model ship he built looked too much like a penis when it was supposed to look like a guitar.

Rebecca sugar appeared on the show in animated form alongside Garnet and started talking in a manner akin to a PSA to the audience about being honest about your sexuality and the kind of music you like. She then adressed that someone called the network complaining about how the blue ship looked. Pearl was arguing with amethyst offscreen and Amethyst punched her. Pearl flew onto the screen and then turned to where Amethyst was and screamed

"I AM THE UGLIEST SPACE GIRAFFE!"

Amethyst started laughing. The scene changed to outdoors on the beach. Greg was cooking hamburgers on a grill and Sadie started talking about how she had become a vegan and how hamburgers were made from cows that weren't humanely raised or killed. This gem appeared that was (amber I think) and looked like a cowgirl. She was the antagonist and summoned a gun from her gem on her shoulder.

"Its not over until the fat lady sings. That's from the phantom of the opera! I'm the fat lady here and I say its over!" Shouts amethyst as she charges in to fight, but gets beat up.

...

The characters end up escaping on a world war 1 battleship and going out to sea. But the boat gets hit by a large wave and Steven and Pearl fall into the water and have to preform fusion to get out. They fuse and curiously become OG Rose Quartz. Asokah Tano from TCW cartoon appears and helps them get out of the water and onto a large rock in the middle of the ocean. When she does, the two unfuse.

Asokah stands up triumphantly and says "All my fan theories were right! Take that Ronaldo!"

-+-

In another dream I became lucid. But it wound up being one of those empty lucid dreams. I was in my house and I walked outside to see nobody. I thought of how I considered when I find myself in an empty lucid dream, I should start running from my house until I get away from the part of my town that I have a mental map of, and this should trigger the dream to do something interesting and break the empty dream.

-+-

I had another Star Wars themed dream. (I'm surprised how many of these there have been lately). General Grievous came out of my toilet and started attacking me. I ran out the back door of my house where he followed me and then proceeded to kill my grandmother with his claw foot. I became lucid and reached behind my back to get lightsabers to fight him.

I managed to stun him and he fell over. I kept pulling more and more sabres from behind my back and stabbing them into his limbs. They had some bizarre behavior in that they would stick in the ground like regular metal swords of spears instead of sinking into the ground or turning off as they normally would. No matter how many times I impaled the villain he just coughed and struggled but didn't truly die.

-+-

I was in a gymnasium. It looked like the gymnasium from my middle school but was rotated weirdly and had large windows near the ceiling. We were going to be running this race to raise money for people affected by a hurricane and some people (including my old high school crush) were there. I became semi lucid upon realizing she was there and didn't want to have an interaction with her; I didn't even want to look in her direction.

I turned to my friend S who was also there. He asked me why I didn't want to look at her. I responded by saying:

"My draw to her was one of lust, not of love. She needs to leave this place and be forgotten as all lost sparks do."

We went on to discuss how I felt it was unhealthy that I had a subconscious obsession with her, one that I could not smite despite my best efforts.

...

I had another empty lucid dream, the morning before posting this. I false awoke in my bedroom, only the layout of my bedroom and the entire house was mirrored. I got out of bed, already suspicious of my reality, and headed into the bathroom. When I saw myself in the mirror, I looked like a much younger version of myself with short hair and a fatter stomach. When I breathed in and out, I would make this high-pitched squeaking noise like a dog toy and there were red spots around my stomach and chest that would expand and contract with my breathing.

I RC'd via nose pinch and became lucid. I started heading outside when I lost the dream and woke up.

D1 - Trying to get somewhere as usual. Lost my way on a track through some woods, I come out into the open air there is a large glassy pool of dark water to my right. I have no idea which way to go.

D2 - I am cosy in bed, early morning I get up to go somewhere but on coming out of the door I am presented with a series of landings that all look the same and are just other people apartments. The carpet is old and red and faded, looking familiar from somewhere long ago. So as not to lose my way back, I hurriedly get back indoors.

I unintentionally did a wbtb. As my eyes were close the darkness began to have color and I found it that my eyes had open on their own without my permission. I was staring at the window and for some reason it was dark outside. This isn't right I thought to myself, I'm very late for work now and I swear it feels like it has only been 10 mins since I lay down to sleep.

I started speculating that this is a dream so I look out the window and found it hard to focus on pretty much anything. Everything look blurry. My television at the back of my eyes look like it disappear but appeared suddenly when I expected to see it. This is when I did an RC of the nose to test if it is a dream or not. I could breathe through it so I realize I am dreaming. I then woke up.

Single Fragment: The channels I usually fill at work have been massively extended to resemble urinals. I notice nothing unusual about this. Single image of a colleage standing in front of it with his arms outstretched.

In this dream, I was by some kind of cliff or something. My mom wanted to cross the golden gate bridge to get to new york city, so what she did was move it closer to the cliff edge. She also elongated the crap out of it.

Fragment 2:
I was playing a video game console that had the graphics that were similar to a game cube, but more pixelated. After messing around with a birth date application where the actual years were separated by random characters. With every actual date, the program said something witty or sarcastic. After messing with that program, I found a port of a super mario cart game for the wii titled "super mario cart wii". I opened it, and the development team behind that game joined me after I said something about copyright issues. As I entered the race, I stopped under a bridge where a friend was messing with randomly generated islands and lakes. M was there too, and after I messed around with a program, She went up and drew a very complicated maze structure. The program couldn't handle such a strong request, and instead generated a very simple structure: Most of the ground consisted of the typical greenish water, but in the middle there was a large lump of land that was supposed to be an island with some water in the middle. M explored this, and when she figured this out, all happiness was gone from her face and instead was overtaken with disappointment.

Trying to get somewhere....At a round about walking then I catch a bus etc.

This is recurring dream at the moment it's not as bleak as I used to get but I am weary from walking.
At the moment i'm looking for a new job, I have two interviews this week, so it's all about finding my way in life, and choosing a path.

2017, 10-13

The Dark Tower – The Third Drawing

I am on beach. It is just about dark. The ocean extends out west, and I can see where the sun has just sent. There are a couple people not too far for me. They are both near a door that looks like it leads nowhere. A man is standing next to the door, and a woman is sitting in wheelchair. I look around a bit more and I see there’s another man standing closer to me. I recognize the man standing close to me. That is MoSh. He looks at me and then looks over at the door. I am pretty sure I know who those people are. Eddie Dean, and either Detta or Odetta. MoSh and I walk over towards the door. Before we quite get there, I hear a voice coming through the door. The voice is telling Detta Walker to look through the door. The voice is also telling Odetta Homes to look through the door. And the next instant there are more people there.

I hadn’t noticed Roland’s body on the ground by the door, but now he is trying to get up. He does not seem well. And now there are also two women. Apparently Detta Walker and Odetta Holmes are now separate people. They’re fighting each other. They have to become one in order for the two of them to survive. But there are still more people there. I do not know who these others are. They are cloaked figures, and they are all in black. I’m not even sure if they have faces, because all I see under their hoods is blackness and glowing blue eyes. Mosh says no one invited them to the party. I say we should show them what happened party crashers then. One of them goes right over to Roland and told him to hand ‘it’ over. I am wondering what ‘it’ is. He doesn’t live very long, MoSh blows him away. That is the first time they noticed that we were even there. One of the cloaked figures is snarling at us, and says we should keep our abnormally large noses out of other people’s business. I tell him that ugly gits like him are our business. A gun fight ensues.

There are some rocks and other things in the area, and those are good places to take cover. But apparently MoSh and I also have Witchblades, and those form into a powerful armor. While the fight is going on between us and the strange figures, Detta and Odetta have switched from fighting to hugging. That is a good sign. That means they’re almost done. I see the one must be Odetta whisper something into Detta’s ear. I don’t hear her, but I remember what she said in the book. She said I love you. Two women seem to blur for a bit as the fuse into one. I see that one of the figures is standing over Roland now. Seems to be looking for something. I don’t want it to find what it’s looking for. I think that would be very bad. Detta and Odetta are in the way for getting a clear shot. So instead I send an Alex Mosher type tendril into the ground. It goes under Detta and Odetta, and then comes up right next to Roland and pierces the figure standing over him. The cloaked figures are clearly pissed off. But now they also have Susanna to deal with. Data and Odetta has become one now, and she’s got a gun. So does Eddie. He has also joined into the fight. The figures will not have another chance to get near Roland. They are angry, but they disappear in clouds of dark.

MoSh and I go over to where the others are. The door has closed, and our falls over in the sand and seems to become nothing more than a large piece of driftwood. I see Susanna, who is the merger of Detta and Odetta, hug Eddie. And then she hugs Roland. She says it’s thanks to them that she can be whole again. And that hasn’t been the case since she got hit on the head by a brick as a little girl. But that seems to be about the last bit of energy that Roland has, and he passes into unconsciousness. I focus some healing energy through him, but I guess the more important things are the pills that Roland brought back with him. Those will take care of the poison. Eddie gives him his first pill, though he was barely conscious enough to swallow it. March is asking who those weird figures are the keep showing up. I tell him I don’t have a clue yet. But they are really annoying. They aren’t supposed to be here. I want to ask Roland what he has that they might want, but that’s clearly going to have to wait until he recovers. It is here that I seem to wake up.

-----

This part of the dream was strange. It didn’t seem connected to the rest, and still it did. In this segment of dream, I felt like I was inside of Detta or Odetta, I’m not sure which. I hear gunshots around me, as if gun fight was currently going on. I hear someone call to me. The voice calls to me to look through the door. I looked over through the door, and I find that I’m staring at another version of me somehow. I am hearing a song in my head. “I face myself, to cross out what I’ve become. Erase myself, and let go of what I’ve done.” This is a song by Linkin Park. I know it well. I am reaching out to embrace myself when I wake up for real this time.

Morning of October 13, 2017. Friday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and our children are living in the Loomis Street house (with no recall on my part that she has never been to America and no recall of my relatives of whom lived in the house). Although our youngest son is the age he is now, our youngest daughter is a baby.

We all seem to be going out as a family, though I am not sure if it includes a shopping trip or perhaps a movie. At one point, I begin to have concern about where our youngest daughter has gotten off to, though I consider that, as she is a baby, she would probably not have gone off on her own somewhere, at least very far.

As I am sitting on the couch in the living room (facing north as it was in reality when I was last there) and our youngest son is to my left in an armchair and getting ready for us to go out, I see that our baby daughter is inside one of my shoes on the floor in front of me, though a bit to my left. I see her face looking out from the opening of my shoe. She is lying on her back looking out. I am puzzled about how she ended up inside my shoe like this. Perhaps she crawled into it and had fallen asleep for a time. I do not consider that her size is impossibly small. I am somewhat relieved that I now know where she is.

I am concerned about her for a short time. She makes a couple faces, but also seems to be holding her breath at one point, her cheeks puffing out. My concern passes as she continues to make different faces, moving her mouth and eyes in unusual ways. She seems cheerful and amused.

---

It always amazes me how vivid a dream can be and realistic in some ways yet totally absurd in others, and yet my non-lucid dream self does not question such impossible nonsense at all.

---

I came across this website just about a week ago, and for the past few days have been practicing ADA, sitting watching TV, driving around, cooking - I guess it worked, because last night I entered myself into a dream, if only briefly. I've practiced LD many, many years ago, if not an entire decade - and was successful a few times - but don't remember any LD's since that time. Coming across this website I decided to give it a go again, and reading about ADA and RC's - it's something I can do without anybody even noticing. My little secret

I remember being on the deck of a boat, and leaned an extension ladder up over the side and climbed on it and made it to the top, when I looked down I must have been 500 feet up in the air. I said to myself, "I am dreaming." and decided to jump off the ladder. I saw a small block building, sort of like those buildings that are under cell phone towers about a quarter mile away from the boat I was on built on the water, sort of like a oil-platform is built on the water. I said, I'm going to fly over there, but I kept falling faster and faster straight down and before I hit the water, or boat (I was focused on that building) I woke up.

I feel this was a success, because since I was aware I was dreaming and took control. If only for 5 seconds.