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Got to sleep paralysis, messed up the transition. Just slept through since I rather not lose sleep anymore over a failed attempt. Better luck tomorrow.

So last night I had this strange thing happen. I was sleeping and woke up. I turned over and lay there. You know how as your falling asleep your thinking these random things...well I was doing that - and falling back to sleep - when I realized I was starting to see what I was thinking of as a dream. It was a strange feeling. To be aware of it.

So I was having this crazy dream that started with me at a dance recital with Abby from dance moms (lol), that turned into an alien invasion. As some point I realized I was dreaming, so of course I ran to the first person I saw and told them this was my dream. They just looked at me with a blank expression. I calmed myself, and noticed how solid and stable the dream was. Then I decided to try to find my mom (my mother died when I was 2 so I don't remember her, and I never dream of her. Trying to find her is something I often do when i'm lucid....but I never do.) I knew I wouldn't find her where I was - at the top of an extremely high hotel - and I knew I didn't have a lot of time. So I decided to jump off the balcony but I couldn't climb up on the railing. So I decided to take the slides down. At some point on the way down I lost lucidity and woke up.

Date of Dream: THU 15 JUN - 2017



Dream No. 133 - Separated Sections

Dream 133 A - The Dreadful Diploma
The dream was anticipating the Diploma of Accounting at Chisholm. Apparently it had tobe done at a different campus than where Certificate IV was done and this campus was no familiar location in real life, it also looked more like a high school than a tertiary institution. So me and a whole group of students were upstairs in this random building at the diploma enrolment. The teacher also looked unfamiliar too. They said that every single one of them in this room was going to be teaching us diploma.

We were split up into small groups of about 3 or 4 students and teacher. I had this wacky looking man that dressed like someone from the 20th century... Hard to explain. The dream then skipped to the leading teacher, a lady, violently chasing me all around the campus. I don't remember what she was saying or doing exactly. That's all I can remember about this dream.

Dream 133 B - A Horrible Welcome
I remember I was paying a visit to Killester again. The dream made it look more like a primary school than high school. In the undercover area, I saw JL sitting on a bench, eating her lunch, and I decided to sit on the other side of the bench and talk to her for a bit. Ms L then walked by and she didn't look happy. She was asking me why I was here. I said I just wanted to say hello. Then she said that all I want to do is see WB again. I didn't know what to say to her but she said that she would be back.

I then walked off and found myself in this open space area. There I saw WB and think her friend RL was with her, I forgot who else she was with. I thought WB wouldn't be happy to see me but she was the complete opposite. RL was also happy to see me too. WB and I spoke for quite a while. During that time, I thought Ms L would come back as mad as can be but that never happened. I then consciously thought that in between the time I had left the bench and I had found WB, she told Ms L not to do anything. That's all I can remember about this dream.



Dream Trophies Achieved:
- None

I was dreaming that I had joined some type of pixie group that hid their powers and kept to themselves. I then somehow realized I was in a dream because my state of mind is very paranoid and I get suspicious pretty easily. I created this group to be evil, they were after me because I realized I was lucid dreaming. I needed to get away and I was really scared because I couldn't move my body, but my main priority was getting away from the pixies. I was walking away and told them I needed water when I started running and they chased after me. I knew that It was my dream and I could take advantage of the situation by creating a void of darkness that would take me somewhere else where I was away and that only I could go through it. So, as the bad nerd as I was, I did that and jumped in. Now that I was out, I just wanted to get out of the lucid dream. I knew what was happening but I was scared because I thought I would be trapped forever. I tried killing myself, inflicting pain, screaming, NOTHING WORKED. I overheard a cough from an old man and I opened the door to see him dying. That's when I broke, because I'm so extremely sensitive to death and I care about others more than myself. I screamed in agony next to him, didn't work. The only other thing however that could possibly work but had so many infinite outcomes that were unknown was of letting it all happen to me, to stop fighting. So I did, and I woke up.
That's the story of my first Lucid Dream.

2017, 06-14

A Song of Healing

I am at a mall with my mother. It’s similar to a mall in my local area, but not exact. I know I have been to this mall before, however, in previous dreams. No thought that I might be dreaming occurs to me now. My mom and I are going into a clothing store and looking for some new clothes for me for work. I look around but I can’t find anything I like that will actually fit me. So we leave and head for the theater at the mall where there is a live performance of Harry Potter, and the author J.K. Rowling is even going to be in attendance for this presentation. We go to the theater and wait in line to go inside. Once inside I see J.K. Rowling surrounded by people asking for her autograph. I also see someone I don’t want to see… so instead of waiting to try to get J.K. Rowling’s autograph I pull my mom into the theater to get a good seat, or that’s the reason I give her for my hurry.

In the theater there are already quite a few people seated so my mom and I pick a spot. I look around and see quite a few people with popcorn and I think that would be good, but the person after me knows my mom and might see her if she goes for popcorn so I say I don’t want any when she asks. People keep coming into the theater and I watch carefully to see if the man outside is coming in. I don’t see him. I look to the front of the theater and I see a different man looking at me. He clearly recognizes me. And somehow I know he works for the man who is looking for me. I look to my mom but she is gone. Another man comes over and says to remain calm. He says he’s a friend and will make sure I get out of here safely. He gives a dirty look at the man up front who is watching me.

The man beside me looks under my seat and finds poison darts. He asks the man watching us what the poison would do to me. He says it would land me in the emergency room. I say it would be lethal if I drank all four of them. The man beside me says no, don’t talk like that. Another man, a fat man in an oversized t-shirt, comes over and takes one of the darts from the man beside me. He says he hasn’t tried this yet, and breaks the cartridge open and drinks some of the fluid inside. He looks like he’s getting high off of it. I look back at the man beside me and then I hear a woman a couple rows back let out a cry. I look just in time to see J.K. Rowling collapse in shock. I look to see what she saw and I see the man who drank the poison now has no nose, it looks like it melted off his face, but he looks higher than ever.

The man beside me urges me to get out of here. I head out of the theater but on the way I lose track of him, and then I am in the hall of the mall alone. I head down the hall, looking for a bathroom. I open a door and find myself in someone’s house. A woman is there and she looks pissed at me. I think she is pissed because I just walked into her house, so I turn to leave but the door to the mall is gone. The woman starts yelling at me and demanding to know if I’m sleeping with him. I ask who. She says MoSh, of course! She says I’ve been fucking him, haven’t I?! I tell her MoSh wouldn’t want to get involved with me, I’m too old for him. Then I realize what is happening… this must be Asuka, I was going to heal her! I focus on the song Voices from the Macross Plus soundtrack. Light energy flows through Asuka and she calms down. She says she doesn’t know why she said what she did. I tell her it was unstable negative energies. I am about to say more but everything fades to black and I wake up.

Last night I had a dream that I was in my moms house playing a game in the tv while my mom and some random Mexican lady were cooking a feast for an event, then I realized my sister had a date with some guy and while she was taking a shower I went upstairs to look tru the window to see who it was, it was Batista the wwe wrestler from the movies ,but it was like nobody paid no mind, neither did I so I went back to playing the game, then I decided to go to the backyard and when I opened the door, a girl that I thought was my other sister a first glance was really my cousin that wa trying to trick me by looking and dressing just like her, the main difference was that I could figure out was that my sisters face was more symmetrical and my cousins was roundier. Then it hit me oh shit Batista is outside so I skipped to outside, to say wassup, he was driving a black phantom or a 300 not sure, but when he got out of the car a lot of smoke came out, he was smoking hookah inside the car so he invited me, to smoke some hookah with him and while I was heading to the car, I skipped to the stairs right next the car, and it was meek mills( rapper) and young m.a ( rapper) she didn't have her braids and her hair was fucked up for some reason, then meek mills said he was going to robbed Batista and young ma said he shouldn't then we skipped to the back of the car meek is sitting in the trunk, young ma is on the side, here comes the 2 kids from project x, the party movie the kids were the security guards in the movie, then young ma started talking about the common sense about robbing either a police chief or a rapper, and the two kids agreed they would rob a police chief rather than the rapper, so then it skipped to when I'm opening the car door, and when I opened it there was Chris rock the comedian just chilling, then Everybody started getting in the car, the backseat was full with meek, Chris rock and the two kids from ploject x, so it was really cramped and while we was driving up the street I decided to ged out the car while the car was moving, when I closed the door somebody was holding my arm so I was running right next to the car, then a started singing like john legend the singer, meek was shock, my hand was stuck and I was running along side the car, when I finally got loose I walked to the sidewalk while looking at the car. The car turned into a big truck and was coming in reverse right at me, so when I took a step back my dream ended.

Last night I had a dream that I was in a pool, a small circular pool. Instead of being filled with water it was more like black ink, filled to the brim and still. The ink water wasn't thick like one would expect but more like calligraphy ink, thin and once sprayed on paper, more of a grey color. I was wearing some sort of white dress, or maybe robes are a better description. The clothing was a slightly rough texture, as if I was dressed in an expensive chiffon bundle. I remember rubbing the cloth between my fingers, it made a delightful scratchy sound, and I could not help but continue to rub the cloth between my fingers. At some point I decided to sit up and as I began to come to I noticed other pools around me, all filled with the same black-ink water. The building that we were in was white and filled with bleached marble. Old romanesque pillars rose to hold the vaulted ceiling, there was no color only the cold white of the building and the black-ink filled pools. As I looked around in naive wonder I saw that in my pool there was a feather, a long black feather that somehow made me feel knots in my stomach. I head the pitter patter of feet and a man came, he stood tall with black shaggy hair, his skin was opalescent, fingers long, and (was I mistaken?) wings? He made no motion to communicate he only picked me up and started carrying me away from the pool. The man (perhaps an angel?) was strong, his build was wiry with just enough muscular build to be attractive to some. His wings were outstretched as if ready to take flight at any moment, when I looked to see where we were going I noticed that he was taking me back to the pool. I thought to myself that I wasn't ready, I wanted to see more of this interesting world, to ask questions, but it was already too late. The being was returning me to the black-ink pool, without so much as a word I sunk back into the water. I could still feel the cloth between my fingers, with its delightful texture.

About two weeks ago I had a dream that I was running though a maze. Except it was more like an episode of hoarders, things were stacked up to the roof and literally everything was covered in junk. There was a girl with me, running, we were trying to get away from someone. "Keep running we have to get away!" I kept telling her, we have to keep going or he will catch us. She stumbles often but we keep going, then we come across a couple. And by couple I mean these two individuals were really getting at it. It was hard to tell where their faces separated and whose hands belonged to whom. The female of the pair we came across was completely absorbed, it was if she didn't even see us. The male however saw me, "What are you doing here? Can't you see we're busy?" I was more than shocked that the d/c would even notice me let alone be angry that I happened to spot them, "I uh, sorry I didn't realize."said the girl behind me. I, however was not amused, what was said next was something more along the lines of "Wouldn't you rather it be me you're pressed against," or something sexually enticing. The dream character chuckled and next thing you know we're dancing (super weird), twirling around in the bright lights and he reaches down and kisses me. Que the stomach butterflies and then I wake up.

Had a more stable lucid dream this morning. Walked around an empty neighborhood. Didn't see anybody. It was weird because I felt the sleep paralysis kick in. It was cool. It feels like you can't move your body at first because you're scared of waking up but then you feel your dream body become loose. All you do then is just get out of your bed and walk around.

Before that, all I did was lay back down to sleep and imagine what it would be like to have a clear mind. I mentioned in previous entries that meditation was the holy grail of lucid dreaming. The end goal of meditation is to have a clear present mind that enables the dreamer to observe hypnagogia. I found a short cut where instead of fighting to clear my thoughts, I just on what it would feel like, look like, be like to have a clear mind.

I'm pretty much at that point where I can lucid dreams everyday now providing I get enough sleep the night before.

I went to so many places in this dream. I started by travelling to many small asian countries, where I was camping out in the bush. I found a cat out there but it was shitty and not soft. I remember finding some forgotten power out there but no idea what it was.

Later in the dream, I woke up in the middle of a bank robbery. It was me, chris, simon, arshia, and seth. Seth was just hypnotising everyone with psychic powers so it was pretty much a walk-in walk-out kind of affair. We hopped in the car but it was too crowded so I jumped out and walked home. When I got back to my apartment, which was on the 30th floor of some building, I saw that someone was banging on Liz's door and accusing her of housing druggies and prostitutes. They left, and she walked out exasperated. The top floor was just our two units and she had to walk past my place to get to the elevator. I had just walked in and was down to my boxers from running so far home. I said hi and she just walked in clearly needing to vent. I said "sorry about the state of things in here but I just robbed a bank". The cash was at Seth's place. She couldn't believe it and started laughing, but when she realized it wasn't even my first robbery she became very interested. I told her I was dead tired and full of adrenaline and lay down on my bed. She lay down with me, but quickly pulled an xbox controller from under my pillow. She asked me more, and went to close the sliding door but I kept saying "bank robbery". She laughed because right outside on the patio was her roommate, who was some insanely hot teacher. I asked if she heard what I said and she hadn't, so I started laughing at her this time. Then I realized Liz was having a party or something, and there were like 6-8 beautiful girls just walking around in my apartment raiding my kitchen to put on a big bbq for everyone. I was just very sweaty and hald naked, but I suddenly got extremely distracted by a cry outside from a friend of mine.

And the rest of that dream I left my place to go look at different buildings in my complex. Why!?

Date of Dream: THU 13 JUN - 2017



Dream No. 132 - Separated Sections

Dream 132 A - Choir Drop-outs
From what I can remember, choir was taking place in the Kennedy Hall with Mr H. Now there were only a very few girls there, I can vividly remember AL and RA being there. Mr H was quite peeved off at the fact that many girls didn't turn up to the rehearsal and I think he asked me I could go outside and find more girls.

I eventually made my way to the oval and saw WB, BT and EL there. At first, they were just sitting and chatting with each other but then they decided to play a game with me. We spread ourselves out and were hand-balling a white and blue football to each other. Then after that, the girls were sitting back down again. I approached WB and was going to really tell her off for being lazy and not coming to choir but then I did have a change of heart. I caught myself and said something to her like “Hey WB, you don't have to come to choir. I'll just tell Mr H that you have something on at the moment. That's all I can remember about this dream.

Dream 132 B - The Case Study Marks Are Here
Although the dream was on Monday night, it was actually Tuesday in the dream. This meant that our TAFE teacher KHa was giving us our financial reports case study back. Everyone else got a mark out of 120 but I got a mark out of 140. Apparently it's because she thought I asked for an extension and so she was penalising me, my mark was 97.5 out of 140. I then asked why she marked it like that. I explained that I always had the intention of handing it in when everyone else did. My mark was then 102.5 out of 120. I don't remember what else happened.



Dream Trophies Achieved:
- Cert IV Reunion (Have every Cert IV Accounting classmate in your dream)

06-13-2017 -- Shopping at Publix, and actually making a comment during the dream about 'where shopping is supposed to be a pleasure.' Wandering around the place quite a bit, though I can't fully remember why. What I can remember is going out to the car (white Corolla, for some odd reason) several times. One time, I was kind of being half-followed around the store by a couple of troublemakers who would literally bump into me now and then, and trying to cause trouble. Another time, while I was out at the car, I opened the trunk and found three black or dark blue ski masks that had a really creepy vibe to them.

Back into the store, and pushing around a shopping cart trying to find a place where I can take it in or out, grabbing food, and trying to check it out with one of the cashiers, then head back outside. This time I glance up to see a couple of T-Rex-like dinosaurs off in the distance, waving around machine guns and heading our way. People start screaming, including myself (no real surprise), and we try to run back into the store, but the dinosaurs are moving too quickly, and are firing at us. I act like I've been hit and drop to the ground, playing dead, but it doesn't seem to fool the dinosaur, because he walks right up to me and starts firing the gun directly at my head. I am getting quite a headache from this, but other than that, suffer no real harm.

So since the dinosaur is still shooting me and playing dead isn't doing much good, I hop to my feet, and just turn to walk in the store, which really freaks the dinosaur out. As I step inside, the place is a mess. There are wounded and blood everywhere. Some are sick (mentally) because of what they've seen, and are throwing up. There's a really dark, spooky, apocalyptic feel to the whole thing, with the slightest hint of zombies. I take the escalators up to the third floor, where I wander into a sort of a homeless shelter-style dorm room with bunk beds all around. One poor, deluded soul is painting scripture-sounding verses on the walls, but he's really messed up, and the verses are twisted, inaccurate, and foolish.

We're all just kind of standing around and talking, and I mention I've got some creepy ski masks if anybody needs them, though I say I have no idea where they came from, and nobody seems to much care. At one point, they open up a roll-up door in the northeast wall, and a whole bunch of people come marching in, four abreast, looking almost like they are on a stand-up roller coaster. Somehow they don't want to be here, and have volunteered to all be shot out of a giant slingshot ... and remember, we're on the third floor, here. It's really screwy. Anyway, once they've been shot out, we're all kind of congregating around the door into the dorm, discussing how that was wrong and freaky, and in just kind of shuffling around, I step through the door without even meaning to.

Lights start flashing and an alarm starts blaring, and I'm a little freaked out as everybody else steps back from me. It turns out I've now been here for something like three years or something, but I never realized that once we entered the dorm, we're not allowed to exit it unless they ask us to. Some guy dressed up in a sort of monk's habit walks up to me, and is kind of pushing me along, while asking if I thought I could just pretend the whole thing never happened, and I hopefully say something like "Well, I'd be glad to," but he's not allowing it. They open the roll-up door again, and are pushing me into a sort of parachute harness kind of thing, then I'm pushed out the door. I drop the three floors, but the harness keeps me safe, and when I hit the ground I take it off and drop it.

I'm in what used to be the open parking lot of the Publix, but it has now been converted into a covered parking structure with soldiers kind of wandering around. I glance around to see where the soldiers are and who else is around, and see a strange figure that I could swear I half-remember from some sort of movie or TV show, but can't remember what. The guy seems like a cross between Trick (the mayor's assistant from BtVS) and the Joker, or just some weird guy in a sort of jester costume, but he kind of tilts his head, gives me an odd look, and dances a few steps of an odd little jig that makes it look like he is a marionette or something. I know I should remember this, but I just can't place it.

Crouched down on the ground and muttering to himself is somebody I kind of recognize. It is mostly Tom Courtney, with just a hint of Miles O'Brien thrown in, and he's kind of muttering to himself, something about how God has told him to wait here, and he's trusted, and waited, and been left alone, and it seems he has probably been waiting for me. Meanwhile, there's this whole sort of Logan's Run kind of vibe going on, as all the soldiers and creepy people keep kind of starting to approach us, then back off, because the spot on Tom's hand is green, and the spot that was on my hand has kind of been painted over white, because I was thrown out of the dorms, but God protected me from the gun, and is still protecting me, and since neither of us have the red spot, they can't come after us, but they keep trying to start in our direction, anyway. Meanwhile, I am just looking around the parking lot, trying to find out where my white Corolla is. Strange! Very strange.

05-29-2017 -- Two from last night that struck me as kind of interesting. In the second, I seemed to be back working security, or at least kind of. But there were some special guest stars. Somehow it seemed someone who used to be one of our guards was 'caught' with four copies of his old security reports, which led us to believe he was planning to come back and do some kind of stealing or bothering people there or something. So we were in the process of making plans to stop him ... by staging our own robberies at these places. (The idea being that he wouldn't hit something that had just been hit, but that as soon as things were over, we could return what had been stolen. Well, it made sense in the dream.)

But it was kind of a cross between security and mystery shopping, which was odd, and the whole thing was strange. At one point the bad guy seemed like it might be Steve G., but at another time he seemed to be one of the ones working with us. Another one working with us was Jaqueline Smith's Angel, except she was going by the name of Jill Monroe, which of course was Farrah Fawcett's Angel. But I have to admit, it was enjoyable working with her.

On another of the cases, the site was one of the hospitals I have both worked security in, and been wandering through or picking up medical specimens in, in dreams over the last few years. So I was taking medicine (including for hbp) before having tests done, while trying to protect the staff, and trying to explain what was going on, without leaking anything important enough to allow the bad guy to catch what was happening if he heard anything, while the staff was thinking I was still working there, when I hadn't actually worked there in several years.

Then there was one of our guys doing his robbery at gunpoint, waving around his fire-arm (some sort of machine gun) while talking to us, and explaining how he'd got caught, but still managed to only get something like 3 days of jail time for the event. Or the fact that one of the patients in the hospital was Lita (wrestler) who stopped by to visit or pick up or something her little boy. It was just odd stuff, all around.

05-29-2017 -- The earlier one was also a bit strange. It seemed to be an odd cross between a political convention and a family reunion. We were in Washington, probably in the Snohomish house, except it was two or three stories and fairly large. There was a lot of discussion of old candies and stuff that were no longer available, but that we were trying to figure out how to recreate (including some sort of peanut butter cereal that we were determined to create again) while at the same time talking with the two lousy candidates from the recent election, and also an independent candidate or two who would have been far better than either of the real candidates.

Some of the folks from church were around (including Tom Drick and Jeff Steinberg), and I think Randy was the one actual relative that I could find in the family reunion that I recognized. I think in the dream, the absolute worst candidate won, and we ended up with Hillary as president, but we were at least happy that the very good independent choice (who I cannot remember ... maybe it was some TV hero or something) got some electoral votes or something. But whatever the exact results were, I was very disgusted, and decided that I needed to get out of there and take a break.

The problem was, the reunion was huge, and there was a driveway kind of like Dale's, long and narrow and blocked in, and when I went looking for my car to drive off, there were dozens of cars gridlocked in, and even when I went looking for it, I couldn't find my gray Corolla among them, much less be able to get it out of there. The problem was, there were so many cars (now turning into hundreds) that they somehow had to start shrinking them to fit them all in, so that they were piled 3 and 4 high, but were only about two feet by four feet in size. So now I'm looking through these hundreds of tiny cars, on several levels of a sort of parking garage structure that had been put together in this small driveway space.

But something went wrong, and the cars all seemed to still have their full mass even if they were suddenly about a tenth of the size, and they were starting to collapse the structure, because there was too much weight, and that caused the cars to start reverting to their normal size, and they were all beginning to crush together and break apart, while the parking structure was being forced to expand to contain them, and was tearing apart ever quicker.

Soon it was like one of the earthquake movies, with us running through the levels trying to get out, as things collapse around us, avoiding being squished by falling cars and concrete. We finally made it out of the structure and away from the house and driveway, thinking we were probably finally safe, just to find that we had such a large group and so much mass squeezed into such a small space that the exploding, re-expanding mess was now continuing to expand and started to fill up the entire state, somehow also causing horrible flooding.

Somehow we were stuck in a sort of garbage barge with huge flowing masses of the expanding damaged cars and structures, where we had to keep scrambling to stay on top of the stuff, so that we didn't get pulled into the huge hydraulic crushers that would have mashed us into a pulp. All very frightening and horrible, but still interesting to 'live' through.