All DJ Entries

It is extremely rare for me to wake up & not recall any dream or dream fragment at all. But today I did. I think it was because my body was just so exhausted mentally & physically that I got some true sleep.

I had about 6 dreams but pain interrupted me from logging them all. I have a zit from hell inside my nose! I set my special tone alarm (Illuminate, which I highly recommend. It's already on all iphones) on my phone to wake me up every 2 hrs & it worked well but logging was too hard due to the complexity of my dreams combined with the pain from this damn zit. I feel like someone punched me in the face. Every time my alarm would go off I had to get up & take part of a pain pill & I wanted to be able to have more dreams so I chose not to log them all. These are the 2 I did log.


D1: One of the characters was from "Bates Motel" which I was watching season 3 before I went to bed. She was the Queen in this baby factory. I was in this big factory with assembly lines which were using the Queen like a Queen bee to colonize a civilization. I was babysitting some of the kids upstairs. It was really creepy.

D2: I was in this women's prison but it wasn't a normal prison. It actually was set up like a reoccurring dream I have of living w/ like age teenage girls. It wasn't that interesting but I became lucid & just wanted it to end because of what it represents. (I spent 2 years in a group home in my teens. I was in a similar environment at a Women's Domestic Violence shelter w/ my 3 oldest kids a crazy amount of times. Then yesterday I had to go back to the town where I was in the Girl's home as a teenager for 2 yrs which brought up a bunch of feelings... Yesterday we had to go to my sister n laws house in that town. My brother in law was just trying to make conversation & had no idea that I had extremely bad memories there. But it became a topic when I said I used to live there & we unfortunately were just 3 blocks away from where it used to be. The conversation was unexpected & I almost freaked out at the dinner table but I kept my head & dealt w/ it. Today I'm kind of in a funk over it all but that's okay.... This also was a sync of sorts due to the fact that I just found out recently that they moved the girls home & now I was back there for the first time in approximately 28 years.)


Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown

goal was 45 dreams recalled and 5 lucids. Start date was 1/2, end date was 2/2.

results: 31 dreams recalled
3 lucid dreams


I need to scale back my recall goal. Things were going really well at the outset of this tracking period, but really came off the rails for the last week or so. I think I have been too uptight and pushy with my practice. I will update goals in the next day or two.

Dream signs I've noticed:

Recurring
Sometimes
Rarely


- Flying
- Fire/fire magic
- Talking with no sound coming out
- Turning on light and it doesn't light up the room
- Running, but at an extremely slow pace

Daytime Dream.

I was with Josh D, Trev and his brother Gary.

I'm at blacks land house, outside in my backyard. I remember playing ball with my brothers girlfriends dog (Peppie). Peppie got a little too excited for the ball and bit my hand by accident. I had placed a hand full of tennis balls up on top of the shed roof.
I remember hearing something on radio that was talking about cricket.

A girl came out into the backyard to tell me to come inside for something (I think she was friends with Holly A). I came inside, but it wasn't my house. The girl handed me something (something wrapped in a cloth?). I think it had something in it that she owed me.

I went out the front, which was now Marlz front yard. I walked up to a car which was parked, and it was Holly. She didn't recognise me.
I had thought she mentioned something about blood on my face, and asked if that's what she said. She laughed and said no. I told her that I picked a pimple on my face. Some people walked up to me, and we started chatting. Holly decided that she may as well leave, as I wasn't talking to her, and started to drive off.

I saw Josh D outside. He looked a little different, his hair was a bit shaggy looking.

I got inside and myself, Josh, Trev and Gary were about to head off to sleep, in the lounge room.

We were all stuffing around not long after. I tickled Gary's foot, and he freaked out and jumped on top of Trev. Trev wasn't too happy that he was jumped on.

I was now in a car with, Josh, Trev, Luke B and Gary. Gary was driving. I saw a guy on the side of the road, he was hugging a huge boulder, and they were both covered in tar. He rolled himself into a puddle of liquid which was gold and bubbling, as if it was lava.

I said something witty, and got no response. Luke mentioned that there must be 2 drunk people in the car, to not get what I just said.

I was now holding my hip, and was feeling around for a lump. I thought I may have had a tumour or something. Someone said to me, that my side which had the lump, wasn't functioning right. I looked down and saw that I was in blue shorts. You could see the outline of my penis, as if my pants were sticking to my body. Gary said that I had a massive penis. I think I had an athletic body type also.

Side note:
As I woke up, I saw imagery, as if I could have turned it into a DEILD. The image was a computer screen, which was pretty vivid. I could even see the clock in the bottom right corner. I tried to open my eyes but the image would fade away, so I closed them again and it appeared again. I then thought I would try opening my eyes again, but this time it was gone for good.

I was with some friends in a building of some sort. we were looking for things for some reason. we found them, and then the lights went out. i couldn't see a thing. Then I heard footsteps. They were getting louder. I tried to shout or something, but my voice failed me. I vividly remember the feeling of pure terror that i felt. It was the strongest emotion I have felt in a dream. Then, as the steps got louder, the lights came on. It was some harmless person that i can't remember because i think the shock woke me up.

As a side note, I asked a friend of mine, and weird dreams like this could be linked to me trying to create a tulpa. which is cool i guess

Ok, I ALMOST had yet another WILD. This would have been my 4th one this week, had this attempt and another attempt not failed. So I've had 2 WILDs this week, And 2 almost WILDs. I'm definitely getting the hang of these now. I felt the heavy feeling come across my body and everything, and it got darker and darker... But for some stupid reason, I woke up -__- I dunno why, but I did. There appears to be a... pattern... as well...

WILD, Almost WILD, WILD, Almost WILD, ---

Perhaps this is a pattern, and maybe I'll have another full WILD soon? Idk. But I'm still glad I'm getting used to Lucid Dreaming again...

So, i thought that this is the time to give a little insight on Lucy I know that not many people read my DJ, but i guess it'll be much nicer for that few if they'll understand the thing behind Lucy.

My plan is to make her be friends with me and maybe even become my Dream Guide. I can't imagine any other DC as a DG, she just seems more important and is actually more powerful than the usual DCs.

I'll tell her story, list parts of dream stories where i've met her before the start of this DJ.

BEWARE: LONG POST!

Basically Lucy is a recurring DC, who first appeared in my very first Sleep Paralysis experience:

"... it was getting darker and darker, when i lost the sight of the guy i was with, i was left alone in the dark. I kept shouting for him to help me and don't leave me, but he didn't listen. After this a small white dot started coming towards me from the darkness and everything started shaking, fear took over me as the white face reached me.
I woke up just to see a tall black haired girl jump on me from the end of my bed and start shaking me violently. I couldn't see her face because her hair was in the way. I didn't know what was happening, i thought that i was having a False Awakening and kept thinking that she wants to kill me.
It ended and i was so terrified that i questioned reality for the first time ever. I didn't want to believe that i'm not dreaming... I kept saying things out loudly, telling that scary girl to don't hurt me and never come back..."


After this i read after Sleep Paralysis and understood it more, but the thought of this experience still scared me.
It took around 4-5 days, when in an LD i met her again:

"...I was in my room, when i turned around and noticed a black haired girl sitting on the end of my bed, her head looking the other way. I immediately realized who it was, the exact same girl that attacked me in SP. I got lucid by this thought, but i was too terrified of the memories of that experience and woke myself up..."


She didn't do anything, but just her appearance was enough to freak me out.
This time it was suspicious for me what she'd want, that she appeared twice already...
After some time (i think it was weeks), she had an appearance again, in a non-lucid:

"...I was laying on my bed in my old room, which is now my grandma's and looks totally different. At first i thought that i woke up in real, because it was pitch dark, but then i heard a noise. Someone laid down on the bed next to me, i could just feel it. Then i heard a voice of a girl, she was talking to me... My first thought was that it must be her, i just knew it for some reason. I don't remember what she said, and i was acting like i was sleeping, maybe she'll just go away.
But she didn't. She started gently caressing my face, then lightly grabbed my hand and started caressing my belly as well. I was still scared of her and opened my eyes, grabbed her hand and tried to push it away from me. She became quiet and tried to hold my hands together, to don't let me push her away. She climbed on me and tried to hold me from moving. She laughed playfully like we were just playing.
After all i succeeded and pushed her away, we both fell down to the ground from the bed. The lamp suddenly became lit and i could see everything perfectly, it was my old room, it was sure now.
She kept trying to get hold of me and keep me close to herself, but i was trying to get away. We got into the corner of the room and we both stopped and just stared.
Finally i was able to see her face for the first time, it was beautiful. She looked like a model of some kind and was around 20 years old. I took the opportunity to talk with her:
- Who are you?
/playful laugh/
- What do you want from me?
/playful laughter again/
It was obvious that she didn't want to answer, as i wasn't lucid anyway. I got a little angry over this and pushed her away from me with my feet.
She stopped laughing and looked a little sad and disappointed. She stood up and turned towards the window and just disappeared in front of my eyes..."


Later during that night:

"...I was thinking about that last dream for a while in the bed, then decided to get back to sleep again.
In this dream i was in the same old bed, which was in my old room. It was pitch dark again, but there was a little light at the end of the corridor that opens to the room. I heard a constant female-ish demonic voice from the corner of the room, that kept saying thing like this to me: "Come here now!" "You'll come here IMMEDIATELY!" "You'll listen to me and obey!"
I felt a powerful energy, that kept pulling me towards the corner of the room where the voice came from. I tried to fight it and could keep it up, but it was pulling me constantly.
There were some kind of flying messages in front of me, while i was staring at the corridor and trying to get away. These messages said things like "The solution to the problem is in the living room" "Get to the living room to escape" "You can get to the living room, don't give up"..."

This nightmare kept repeating 5-6 times during that night and caused me to wake up early, i couldn't take it anymore. I knew that it was her in a demonic form and that she got angry because i pushed her away from me when she tried to be nice. This was the dream which after i decided to try and reason with her, try to make her forgive me and help.
I decided to name her Lucy, because of the word "Lucid"


For a long while i didn't hear from her and we didn't meet again, until i decided to try and find her in an LD, in which someone else acted like her, trying to fool me. It's not really worthy to write down, so let's skip a little.

After some weeks i met her again in an LD:

"...I just entered our house, the corridor was dark, only one room was lit, so i decided to go in there. I wanted to check the paper i placed on my desk in reality, so i started searching for it in the room, but i didn't realize that i'm not even in the same room. When i actually found this out, the first thought that striked me was that the last time i've met Lucy in this exact same room.
I was a little worried that i just unintentionally summoned her somewhere, so i kept searching for that paper faster, even while i knew that i wasn't at the right place.
Suddenly i heard a noise from the corridor and turned around. No surprise, Lucy was standing there, but she wasn't alone, she held a baby in her hands. She started coming towards me and when she got closer i realized that she looked dead, just like the baby in her hands. It really freaked me out, so i kicked her away from me and closed the door in front of her. I turned around to keep searching, but she appeared before me in the same form as before. She smiled weirdly and said "I'm back..." and everything started shaking heavily, which made me wake up."


After this dream i was sure, that this won't be as easy as i expected at first.

So these were the stories to be told, hopefully it gives a little more insight on why i want to find her and make her forgive me. She seems like a powerful DC, not like the usual ones, and i feel some kind of connection to her. Currently i'm working towards making her be nice to me and help me out and i don't plan to give up, no matter how hard it might be.
She is kind of stubborn and seems to be evil in some part, but it would be nice to have a powerful companion like her