I'm in a medieval fantasy world much reminiscent of Oblivion or Skyrim. I see one guy, wearing oddly modern clothes, mindlessly shuffling around. He looks and acts like a zombie, but no one cares. He's being used for manual labor, or something. A bit later, I've climbed a steep rock wall and I'm hanging off the side (Assassin's Creed style), looking out over what I know to be the edge of the map. I wonder what's beyond it. I reach a kind of mineshaft, or cave. My dad is suddenly with me. We're assaulted by giant spiders the size of a large dog. We make a run for it through the tunnel, and emerge on the other side. We exit into a grassy clearing, with a large, imposing forest right in front of us. The forest is full, and I mean FULL of giant spiderwebs. And of course spiders. I'm like "no way", but my dad is like "we can do it, let's go" so I have no choice but to follow him in. Somehow, we get through, because in the next scene I recall, we've reached the world beyond the mountains and the spider forest. No one was ever supposed to get this far. To our surprise and horror, it's the modern world. We're in a modern city, clearly abandoned a century or more ago. The sky is overcast and depressing. Everything is covered in rust and dust, and in a state of falling apart. I recognize one of the ruined cars as a Renault 5. Then, we find someone. A worker wearing a fluorescent jacket. He just mindlessly shuffles back and forth, seemingly aware of us, or anything else. We continue exploring, until my dad starts acting strange. He asks things like "how did we get here", and other things he should really know. Like he's having memory loss. Suddenly, I realize the truth of this place. A hundred+ years ago, something happened, some substance was released into the atmosphere (or some kind of radiation) that gradually sapped people of their intelligence - inducing amnesia, dementia and finally a vegetative zombie-like state (though they aren't cannibals). Society fell apart without the people there to maintain it. Somehow, "Skyrim valley" (the fantasy world we'd traveled from) was a special place shielded from this effect. The guy wearing modern clothes I saw in the fantasy world was probably a guy from here, who somehow crossed over like we did. I desperately try to explain this to my dad, who is getting increasingly confused as time goes by.
2019, 12-11 Skyrim: The Slaver Trap Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am at a mall with my mother. The fact my mother is coming with me into a mall should have triggered a reality check... she NEVER does that. But it seems normal to me. We go into the mall and start looking around. I have the idea the place is just about to close so we don't have much time. We go into a clothing store and I look to see if there is anything I like that will fit me. Neither my mom nor I find anything in our sizes. We leave and go to a video game / music store. There are both new and used games. I try a demo of a Mario Cart game, but I'm not doing very well. I keep driving off of the road. I start thinking the controller might be broken, because no matter how steady I hold it the car veers off to the right. I leave that and look for my mom. I don't see her. Apparently the game store is open later than the rest of the mall, it is still opening and showing no signs of closing. I go to another demo station. This has a cordless VR headset. I look at the price and cringe, it is almost $2,000. But I can still try the demo! I put the headset on and find I am in Skyrim VR. The graphics look great! I realize there are no controllers, but I can see my hands. My hands are the controllers! I want this sooooo bad... so I get into the demo. I find I am in Windhelm just outside the Palace of the Kings. I have a quest marker near the main gates to Windhelm, so I hurry to there. Ambarys, the dark elf from the New Gnsis CornerClub is there waiting. What does he want? He's one of the most racist assholes in Windhelm, along with Rolff Stone-Head. When I approach him he says he was about to give up on me coming. I wonder if I could help him get over his racist tendencies. I have decided I need a way to do this that doesn’t involve a fus to the face. That is not very effective. With this in mind, as Ambarys and I leave Windhelm I start singing the song See Who I Am by Within Temptation. “Is it true what they say? Are we too blind to find a way? Fear of the unknown clouds our hearts today. Come into my world, see through my eyes. Try to understand, don't want to lose what we have…” Ambarys asks if I’m now a bard, too? I don’t answer, I just continue. “See who I am, break through the surface. Reach for my hand, let's show them that we can free our minds and find a way. The world is in our hands, this is not the end.” Light energy forms around us and flows through Ambarys. I don’t know what brought him to hate those different than him, but this should help more than a fus to the face. We soon arrive at an isolated part of the road from Windhelm to Kynesgrove. I tell Ambarys to keep hidden, I’ll go out there and be a traveler to hopefully draw the orc out. Ambarys says if the orc gets me there’s nothing he can do. I say if the orc gets me it will be the orc’s problem, not Ambarys’. It is late afternoon as I walk down the street as if I’m in no particular hurry to get anywhere. I hear someone call for help from behind a bush. I carefully approach and find a male orc leaning on a tree, holding his side. I ask if he is ok. He says a bandit attacked him and he needs help. I get a little closer and he jumps on me. I respond immediately with a fus. FUS-RO-DAH! The orc is launched into the air. He flies out across the road and slams into a tree. He struggles to get up. I tell him I know he is the one who has been kidnapping travelers and selling them as slaves, that ends now. He is pissed and says I won’t live to tell anyone. I ask where he has been taking the slaves he captures. He says he’ll never tell me. I use my telepathy and read it from his mind. I tell him he just did tell me. He pulls out an axe and comes at me. It is too easy to cut him down with my Alex Mercer blade. I return to Ambarys and ask if he has seen anyone else involved with the slaves. He says no, just the orc. And he only made the one deal with him, he’d never done anything like that before. He seems desperate to make me believe that. He says I have to tell the jarl that. I say my word might not mean a lot since I fus’d said jarl in the face for being rude. He looks shocked and asks what the jarl did… I shrug and say he fus’d me back. Then I start to wonder if I screwed up and will have to load a previous save. Fus’ing Ulfric in the face probably isn’t the best way to get his cooperation, but maybe solving the slave trade issue will make up for it. I tell Ambarys I won’t mention his involvement, but I can’t say that for anyone else. Tell everyone it had to look like he was in on the slave trade to keep from tipping that orc off. And the orc is in multiple pieces, he can’t argue. We are headed back when I wake up.
2019, 12-09 Skyrim: A Fus for a Fus Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am at a toy show. I am there by myself, but that doesn't seem odd. I am looking at classic toys. I find a model of the God-Phoenix from G-Force anime. I always liked that ship so I look closer to see how much it is. I notice there are some pieces missing, but they look like pieces I could make myself out of clay. And the price is way discounted because of the damage! I pick it up and see part of it slides open to reveal the interior. This is cool. There are little figures sitting inside the ship. I take the ship to the cashier to buy it. The cashier looks at the model, then at the price, then calls his assistant over. He gets angry at the assistant, saying he labeled the God Phoenix wrong. He reveals to me that the price is somewhere around ten times what it was marked. After briefly arguing I give up and leave without the model. I wonder if he priced it wrong on purpose to get people wanting it and unwilling to let it go when they find out the real price. I am angry and I walk outside, not paying much attention to those around me. Our of the corner of my eye I see a woman trying to hold a sick looking man up. My anger fades and I go to help her. When she looks up I see she is an elf... it's Suvaris from Skyrim! She asked where I'd gone, leaving my friend to her. I look and see the man is Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books. I look around and I realize I'm not in Tucson anymore. It looks more like Windhelm. I help Suvaris support Roland to take him... I don't remember where we're taking him, but I hope he can get help. Suvaris, Roland, and I arrive at the Palace of the Kings. Suvaris says she won’t go inside. I tell her there is no reason not to help me get Roland inside. She says there is a good reason, but continues helping me as I get Roland inside. Ulfric is in there and asks who Roland is? Ulfric sees Suvaris even though she is trying to stay hidden behind Roland and me. Ulfric looks annoyed and asks what she’s doing here. I say she’s helping with my friend, who has been poisoned. Ulfric says he wants Suvaris out now. I tell Ulfric not to make me fus him. Ulfric says he will agree to a lot of things but he will not… I don’t want to hear another rude word so I turn and fus Ulfric in the face. FUS-RO-DAH! He flies into the wall. Suvaris looks shocked and asks what I’ve done. I say it's no big deal, all I did was fus Ulfr… I lose my hold on Roland as I get fus’d. I am thrown against a wall, now I’m fighting uncontrollable laughter. The fact I got fus’d back seems hilarious. Now I want to try something. I get up and ask if Ulfric calls that a fus, that wasn’t a fus, it was a gentle breeze. I annoy him into fus’ing me again, but I respond with Whiplash by Metallica. The force of the fus reflects back at Ulfric. I tell Roland I’ve learned something new… it IS possible to fus yourself! Then I crack up laughing. I take hold of Roland again and my laughter dies instantly. He’s burning up with fever. The poison has come back with a vengeance. Suvaris says to stop this nonsense, she’s leaving. She pushes Roland onto me and leaves. Roland is barely conscious. He calls me Susan and tries to kiss me. He is delirious. I tell him I’m not Susan… I’m Raven. It looks like Ulfric wants to be pissed but is more curious. He asks how I did that; how did I turn his shout back on him? It’s the whiplash effect, which will reflect any energy-based attack back at the attacker. To be honest I’d been unsure if it would work on a fus. Roland passes out. Ulfric motions to a couple guards (who surprisingly stayed out of our fus exchange) and they take Roland. I tell them no, leave Roland alone, I’m the one who attacked Ulfric, Roland did nothing… let him go or I'll fus your asses straight to... Ulfric interrupts and says they will take Roland to the court mage, Wuunferth, to get healing. He says a guard told him one of the elves was helping me catch a slave trader? Crap… I’m supposed to meet Ambarys to stop that orc! I look at Roland as the guards take him from the room. I hesitate. Ulfric insists Roland will be fine. I say I have to stop the orc and leave, only to wake up just outside the doors.
2019, 12-06 The Dark Tower: Slaves in Skyrim Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am at a school. I am looking for my class. It seems I have forgotten where it is. I have some idea, but not an exact one. I need to look at my schedule, but I don't have that with me, either. The office should be able to give that to me, but I know I will be late. I head for the office. Even if I miss class today I will need it later. When I am on my way to the office I see an area that looks familiar. A circular building with rooms around it. Maybe I remember now... I count doors until I find the one closest to the main building. I peek in the window and see it is my class. With a sigh of relief I go inside. It doesn't look like the teacher is in yet. I sit at my computer and load up the project I'm working on. This is a programming course and my project is game related. I ask my neighbor where the teacher is. He looks at me like I'm an idiot and says this is a free study period, we just work on our projects. I feel a bit dumb. I drag a couple things around and edit a line of code then I compile. It looks good, I need a test. I put on a virtual reality headset to test my progress. I am now in Skyrim VR. I look around, surprised to see this instead of my project. I am in the New Gnisis Cornerclub in the Gray Quarter of Windhelm. I do a double-take as I see the man beside me is Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books. There are people sitting around eating and drinking and chatting. Roland does a double-take, he seems as surprised to be here as I am. The bartender, Ambarys, tells us that our kind aren’t welcome here. The room goes quiet as everyone turns to see what is going on. I see everyone in the room is a dark elf. I tell Roland we have to find our way back to the beach anyhow, I am thinking to get Roland back to the right place at least. He says to wait, he hears something. He walks to the far wall, which seems to alarm Ambarys. Roland says someone behind that wall needs help. Ambarys says that’s absurd, there’s nothing beyond that wall.I use Aura Whisper to see if there is anyone back there. Laas-yah-nir… There are three people back there! I search the wall and find a loose panel. When I pull that panel the wall slides open. A blast of gas comes out of a small room. Two men and a woman are chained up in the room. The woman is weakly calling for help. The men are sleeping. As the gas clears the prisoners start waking up. Roland talks to the woman. She says she remembers very little… an orc needed help but then he blew something in her face and said she would make a good slave… A woman I recognize as Suvaris from Skyrim says, “Oh, Ambarys… slaves? You’re trading slaves?!” Ambarys says he’s just holding them until their owner comes back and takes them to sell them. That damn orc said they would stay asleep the whole time! Revyn Sadri asks, “What have you done?” Other customers are voicing their disapproval. Ambarys is surprised at their reactions. He says he did it for them! With the coin he makes he can make a better life for all of them! Suvaris says people like Ambarys are why things never get any better around here! I get the chains off of the prisoners. One man is disoriented, the other mutters expletives about an orc. They have only minor injuries, so I use a healing spell and fix that up. Ambarys is worried someone will tell the jarl about the slaves and he’ll be executed. I tell him to help me catch the orc and I’ll make sure he’s safe. He finally says he heard the orc talking to an outsider about a place he waylays travelers. A guard comes to arrest Ambarys. I say no, don’t. He says the jarl ordered it. I tell him to tell Ulfric that Ambarys is working with the dragonborn to stop to this slave trade bullshit, which is what he asked me to do. So unless the guard wants to explain how the slave trader got away… the guard asks how he can be sure I’m the dragonborn. I fus Ambarys with one word then ask how many people can do that? The guard says he will inform the jarl and leaves. Ambarys asks why I fus’d him. I say it was for getting hooked in this slave business instead of reporting the orc. He says he doesn’t care who is sold as a slave unless it’s a Dunmer. I hold my thumb and forefinger a centimeter apart and tell him he is that close to getting a full fus for being a racist asshole. He says it’s the Nords who are racist. I agree some are, and I fus them for it, too. I tell Ambarys to show me where the meeting point is. He says no, the orc will kill him. I say the orc would have to get past me first, and that won’t happen. Is he going to show me or was I wrong when I said he was helping me stop the slave trade around here? He reluctantly says he’ll show me. He needs to get something and I should meet him by the gate. I tell him to make sure and be there. He says he will. He goes upstairs. Roland is looking sick again. Suvaris asks what is wrong, I tell her Roland has been poisoned… Suvaris says Wuunferth should have a potion, just get Roland to the palace. She says she can help me get him there, but she won’t go in, her kind is not welcome. I tell her that’s bullshit; anyone is welcome there. She says I clearly don’t know how things work here. I say I do, and I know it is going to change really fast or the Thalmor are going to tear this place apart and break the tower and plunge Nirn and Mundus and all of the planes of Oblivion into chaos and… I think I said too much. Roland is getting worse, so I accept Suvaris’ help. But as she is helping me with Roland I wake up.
2019, 11-06 Skyrim: Unknown Challenger Part 2 Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am back in the dream and lucid now. Hiei says he’s glad I got back before he had to kill Ulfric. I look and see Ulfric is still bound to the throne, but clearly alive. Now Hiei and I start fighting for real. I can hear Disturbed playing… “Need to get psycho, wanna hear you scream! Tell me to take you, scare you, fuck you, after we finish the show! It's not enough, you hunger for more? You're one twisted little fuck, and now you wanna get psycho with me!” I use Battery to call a bolt of lightning, Hiei teleports just before getting hit. He appears behind me and uses more of those tendrils, I cut through them with my blade. I use Enter Sandman by Metallica to create a vortex of light and dark energy that explode around Hiei… Hiei is gone and behind me just before it goes off. Hiei uses a dark energy blade to attack me, I block with my Alex Mercer blade. There is a dark energy explosion between us that forces both of us apart. Hiei looks like he’s having fun. He teleports again then I find the dark energy tendrils closing from all directions. I form my Alex Mercer blade into a ring around me with edges still as sharp as the blade. The circle cuts through all the tendrils before they reach me. Hiei is just too fast to hit! Then I remember I am in Skyrim VR, so I use a different shout… the Slow Time shout. “TIID-KLO-UL!” Everything around me slows down, which just means Hiei is moving at a more normal speed. “Hear me now! Feel my blade! There is no more time for apologies. Malevolent emotions take hold of me! Are you ready to begin your trip to the other side? Death is an old friend of mine!” Just because Hiei is moving a normal speed doesn’t make him easy to hit. We trade attacks for a bit longer until I send my Alex Mercer tendrils down into the stone floor to have them erupt behind Hiei. As that is happening, I attack head on with my blade to keep him focused on me. He dodges my blade attack but gets hit with the tendrils as they erupt from the floor. It looks like the tendrils tear him apart, but then he reforms right in front of me with a big grin on his face. He says it’s been fun, but he’s got to go. Don’t worry, Ulfric can live. He calls the bindings off of Ulfric and absorbs them. He then says he wasn’t using his full power, but he knows I wasn’t, either. He disappears from sight. Ulfric has come down to me and wants to know who that was. I tell him I’m not certain. Ulfric wants to know what’s to keep him from coming back. I say if he is who he looks like, he will honor his word. Ulfric seems to be trying to hide the fact he is worried that Hiei might come back to kill him. I tell Ulfric I don’t think Hiei will be back. Just to prove me wrong, Hiei appears. Ulfric backs away before he can stop himself, then holds his ground. Hiei laughs and tells Ulfric to relax, he’ll keep his word. He looks at me and says he just wanted to say I was right, killing Thalmor is loads of fun! Elven supremacy, such arrogance! And they are pathetic when they beg for mercy! He says they have scattered into the forest and now he’s going hunting. He disappears. Ulfric doesn’t seem convinced Hiei won’t be back. I give Ulfric a Witchblade with a light and dark energy shard. I say it can form armor, weapons, the energy crystals mean it can protect him from Hiei’s energy. He puts the Witchblade on and starts trying out the weapons and armor. The dark energy crystal absorbs the dark force fields, allowing everyone in. Everyone wants to know what happened, I wake before having to deal with any of them.
2019, 11-06 Skyrim: Unknown Challenger Part 1 Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am at my home. It looks like it is Thanksgiving. My mom is preparing a big meal and there are a bunch of people around that I don’t know. I also see my brother and my grandmother, who are both dead. There is not much to be done to prepare dinner, so I go outside to wait. There are numerous vehicles parked in our yard. As I am standing there a really old Cadillac enters and parks carelessly behind another car. The door opens and my ex-boyfriend James steps out. Who invited him? I am thinking my mom invited him, though I can’t imagine why. James gets out of the car and heads towards the house without seeming to notice me. I decide that’s fine and I also go inside. My mom now says dinner is not almost ready and we will have to wait a couple more hours. I don’t want to talk to anyone around me so I go put on my VR headset and start up Skyrim VR. When the game starts I find I’m in the Palace of the Kings standing near Ulfric Stormcloak. Ulfric is sitting on his throne looking at me. I can’t remember why I came in here. Ulfric says he’s glad I’m here. I think he’s going to say something else when I see someone behind me. The visitor smiles. He looks like Hiei from the YuYu Hakusho anime. He looks at Ulfric, then back at me. He asks if I’m here to kill Ulfric or should he go ahead and do it? Ulfric asks who in Oblivion Hiei thinks he is. I sense dark energy in Hiei, so I get between Ulfric and Hiei. I tell Hiei no one is going to kill Ulfric… now what does he want here? He says that sounds good. He will try to kill Ulfric and I will defend him. I see Ulfric looking more annoyed. Hiei says he hates escort missions, so let’s make it a straight fight instead. He and I will fight. If he wins, he will kill Ulfric. If I win, he will leave Ulfric alone. So will I accept that challenge? I say ok, Hiei against me, one on one. Ulfric asks Hiei what makes him think he can walk in here and… I interrupt and tell Ulfric to stay out of it. Ulfric starts to object again, but Hiei fires black tendrils from his hand and they effectively bind Ulfric to the throne. He says he agrees, Ulfric should stay out of it. Galmar tries to come into the room but Hiei blocks all of the doors into the room with a dark energy force field. He says now no one will interrupt us. There is a sound like thunder as Ulfric lets off a fus in Hiei’s general direction. Hiei holds his nose and says he should kill the idiot for raising such a stink. He throws a blob of black stuff that covers Ulfric’s mouth. He tells Ulfric to shut up, then he tells me let’s get on with it! Since I’m playing Skyrim VR, the first thing I try to do is fus Hiei. That does nothing at all. Hiei makes fun of it, he says I’d better be able to do something better than send my bad breath his way or he’s going to have to level this whole city to make the trip here worthwhile. He sends out a bunch of tendrils like spears that actually punch right through my body, but I feel nothing but slight irritation as I look at the holes he made in my Assassin’s Creed robes. In an irritated way I tell Hiei that he ruined my robes… that’s just rude. And I decide to go full Alex Mercer on his ass. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and cut his tendrils off. I absorb the part that has penetrated my body like Alex Mercer would in order to get a sampling of Hiei’s energy. The wounds heal instantly. I am about to make another move but instead I wake up. I don’t like how I left the dream so I roll over and focus on getting back into the dream, I manage a DEILD!
2019, 11-04 Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes 2019, 11-04 Skyrim: Déjà Vu I am going down the street on my way to Windhelm in my game of Skyrim VR. I spot some special friends ahead. There are three Thalmor escorting a prisoner. I walk over to them. The lead Thalmor tells me to go away. I cut the prisoner free and give him my electric sword that I got from Balgruuf. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade. As the Thalmor attack I start with a fus, though since it’s only one word it just staggers them. The prisoner and I still make quick work of the Thalmor. I set to looting the dead Thalmor. One of them was a woman about my size, so her elven armor is now mine. It’s too bad I damaged it… The prisoner and I he will head for Windhelm. We reach Windhelm with no problems. I find the blacksmith. I ask if he can repair the armor and he says yes. I leave it with him. I have to talk to Viola Giordano, but first I have to turn subtitles on. I can’t figure out how to do that. I am distracted by Rolff harassing Suvaris. Rolff breaks off his verbal assault on Suvaris to ask what I’m staring at. He calls me an elf lover. I call him dickless. He tries to get in my face so I fus him. The loser calls for a guard and says I assaulted him. I call him dickless again. The guard asks if it’s true. I respond, “It is true… this man has no dick.” Rolff says his dick is huge. I say I’m sure it is… for a grain of rice. He tells me to take that back. The guard says we should go in opposite directions, he wants no trouble. I head to the Palace of the Kings. Ulfric is talking to Galmar about Whiterun, He says he would like to take the city with no bloodshed. He sits down on the throne. I approach Ulfric. He says he remembers me. I say yes, I was at Helgen. He says no, he remembers me from before that… or after? It’s unclear to him. He asks how many times this makes. I am quite confused now. I ask how many times for what? He asks how many times have I repeated this? He says he remembers enough to know we’ve done this before, but in Helgen I said I have done it “sooooo many times” so he is asking how many times. This has taken me by surprise, how can Ulfric remember a past game? I finally say I’ve lost count. Now things get back on track. Ulfric says I should talk to Galmar about joining the Stormcloaks. I have barely gotten out, “I can’t…” when Ulfric goes off script again. He says he remembers I won’t join unless he gives his word that all races in Skyrim will be treated equally, especially the Dunmer in the Gray Quarter. But he has heard rumors that someone there is capturing citizens of Skyrim and sending them… somewhere… to be used as slaves. Ulfric knows the Project AHO mod?! How?! He says if I investigate and find the rumor false or if I find the rumor true and put a stop to it, he will see to improvements in the Gray Quarter, he knows Brunwulf would be glad to take on the project. But he will NOT do so if there’s a chance those blasted elves are sending Skyrim citizens into slavery. He says he doesn’t have the people to investigate, but he will trust my findings. I am still trying to figure out how Ulfric can be reacting to a mod that shouldn’t affect him. A mod I don’t even have active! I tell Ulfric I don’t think anyone in the Gray Quarter is involved, there’s an Orc kidnapping people near Mixwater Mill… but if it will help things move forward then I will check. I leave the Palace of the Kings. The next normal stop I would make is High Hrothgar to see the Graybeards. But this is going strangely. I am trying to figure out what is going on when Rolff tells me to get the fuck out of his city. I tell him to cram it up his ass. I wonder what I have to do to prove that no one in the Gray Quarter is involved with slavery. Then I wonder about the guy at the Corner Club, he has clearly expressed that he doesn’t care about anyone unless they’re a Dunmer. Should I investigate that? Well I said I would… Rolff says I should get my worthless elf-loving… His interference has pissed me off. I turn around and, without thinking about it, hit him with a full three-word fus. FUS-RO-DAH! Rolff goes flying and crashes into a wall. He collapses, stunned. I am also stunned… I did a full fus! The glitch just happened a bit late! Do I still need to go to High Hrothgar? Probably. It’s getting late and I’m tired. I go to Candlehearth Hall and rent a room. I go to the room and lie down on the bed, falling asleep there and waking up here.
2019, 11-01 Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes Skyrim: Dragon Falling Note: I have been including a lot more detail than I really have time for, so I will try to be a bit more succinct about my journal entries to allow for more postings. I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in Whiterun, I am here to deliver the dragonstone to Farengar. I go to Dragonsreach and go to Farengar inside. He is talking to Delphine. I comment that the warrior innkeeper is back. Delphine gives me a strange look. Farengar takes the dragonstone and then the housecarl Irileth comes in to say there’s a dragon attacking. She says Farengar and I should come. As we are leaving the room I pass by Delphine and deliberately comment, “It’s too bad we don’t have any sworn dragon slayers around…” as I look at Delphine. This gets me another strange look from her, then she hurries off. I go up to talk to Jarl Balgruuf. He says he wants me to help fight the dragon. He even gives me an electrically charged sword. I head to the Western Watchtower where the dragon is attacking. Irileth and several guards come with me. Mirmulnir is attacking the tower. I realize my new sword, or any sword, is useless. I use Battery by Metallica to call lightning down on Mirmulnir. Guards are firing arrows at the dragon. I pause to wonder how Battery is working in Skyrim when Mirmulnir targets me with a blast of fire. I stop questioning and use Whiplash by Metallica to deflect the fire back at Mirmulnir. The dragon is hit by fire and lightning at the same time and crashes to the ground. Irileth jumps onto his head and drives her sword in, killing him. For a bit I think I won’t get the energy rush as usual, but when I get closer I am able to draw the energy in. After the guards and Irileth debate if I could be dragonborn I head back to Whiterun to report success against the dragon. I hear the Greybeards call as I return to Whiterun. I tell Balgruuf that the dragon is dead and he gives me some heavy armor… I don’t use heavy armor… then I leave. I sell the armor at a local blacksmith since I never use heavy armor. Everyone is saying I should go straight to see the Greybeards, but I always head down to Windhelm after this so I can stop the serial killer there before he kills another victim. I leave Whiterun and head along the road to Windhelm. On the way I find Cicero and his broken wagon wheel. Instead of asking the farmer to help I use a Harry Potter spell, reparo, to fix the wheel myself. He does a happy dance and gives me gold before heading off. I wake up wondering how I didn’t do a reality check when I successfully used Battery and Whiplash in a game of Skyrim.
2019, 10-30 Skyrim: Bleak Falls Barrow Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am playing Skyrim VR, I am exploring Bleak Falls Barrow for what seems like the millionth time. There are bandits at the entrance and I nail them with fireballs when they attack me. To my surprise, one of the bandits actually runs away and doesn’t return to attack again. I go into the barrow and find a few more bandits inside. They have a camp set up and a couple maps, apparently these bandits have heard there is a valuable treasure somewhere in here and they hope to claim it. They attack me on sight and I take them out with fireballs just like the ones outside. I feel like I’ve played this level a million times, but things seem a bit different. I’m not exactly sure what is different, but something is. Thoughts of it being different slip from my mind as zombies attack. There seem to be more of them than I remember. Maybe I just set the game on a higher difficulty. Yes, that must be the difference. I fight my way through the zombies using fireballs and my sword. It also seems darker in the dungeon than I remember. Did I change the brightness settings? Well this is more realistic… an ancient crypt would be pretty dark. I continue through the passages, fighting the zombies that attack and finally I reach the chamber with the dragon wall. It looks mostly like I remember it looking in my previous times playing this, and I think any small differences are due to an update on a static mesh improvement mod. I read the word ‘fus’ as it draws my attention right to it and then more draugr attack. There is the boss draugr that comes out of the coffin in front of the dragon wall and three others that I don’t see where they come from. They are all especially weak against fire so I let more fireballs fly. When the draugr are all re-dead I find the dragonstone map of dragon burial sites in the treasure chest along with some gold. I have to take this back to Whiterun. I leave Bleak Falls Barrow and head down the other side of the mountain towards Whiterun. But I am still on the way when I wake up.
2019, 10-22 Skyrim: The Endless Loop Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am on my computer, sitting in my own living room. I am reading a web comic called Cookie and Rose by Cobi van Leeuwen which follows the adventures of two Pusheen sisters named Cookie and Rose and their friends and family. This episode starts out with the ladies entering into an Egyptian pyramid to explore. It is night and the headlights of their jeep provide the only light revealing the entrance. The ladies and a couple other Sheens enter the pyramid. One of them has a map showing the layout of an expansive series of passages and chambers in the pyramid. Shortly after they have entered the main corridor there is a loud noise and the ground disappears from underneath Cookie’s feet. Cookie drops out of sight along with the torch she is carrying. Everysheen gasps and Rose reaches for her sister, but it is too late. Cookie is gone and nosheen knows where to. This is where the episode ends. I leave a comment that says, “COOKIE! NO!” with a shocked emoji. Well that’s enough Facebook for now, I take out my VR headset and start up Skyrim VR. The game starts up and goes directly to the beginning sequence. I am back in the cart with Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric. This stupid thing has looped again! I quietly curse at the Thalmor, who I blame for the loop. Then I find myself singing a song from Silent Hill 4 called Tender Sugar… “Not again, not again, not again, this dream I can't awake. What is real, what is real, what is real? It's getting hard for me to take. What I need, what I need, what I need, a little something I rely. And the white sugar gently hides me. Oh the sweet sugar saves me, it's the room that confines me…” The driver of the carriage calls back to stop that singing. I stop singing and I realize Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric are all staring at me. Can they hear me? This game wasn’t supposed to have voice recognition… Ralof tells me to go ahead and keep singing… what are they going to do? Execute me twice? This sets Lokir off, he says it’s all Ralof’s and Ulfric’s fault that he got captured and if he had his way he would see both of them burned alive over a low fire so it would take a nice long time for them to die. Then he emphasizes that he doesn’t include me in that, he knows I’m no foul Stormcloak and… I tell him to cram it. He does a double take, but then for a wonder, he shuts up. We arrive in Helgen and go in. I see Elenwen on a horse not far off. I mutter to myself that I will definitely fus her straight to Oblivion this time. A fus, a ro, and a dah and she will go flying off of the highest cliff I can find into the endless abyss. Then I realize I’m thinking aloud and Ulfric is looking at me and I shut up. Now I am in front of the Imperial captain who orders my unjust execution and the lyrics of Metallica come out… “Die, die, die, my darling! Don't utter a single word! Die, die, die, my darling! Just shut your pretty mouth, I'll be seeing you again. I'll be seeing you in Hell!” Then General Tullius is giving his monologue. Ulfric is completely ignoring him and looking at me. This seems to frustrate Tullius a bit, his monologue seems less confident and he finally walks off. Ulfric keeps staring at me. Now Evanescence lyrics from the song Taking Over Me come out, I don’t seem to be able to stop myself… “You don't remember me, but I remember you. I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do…” The lyrics trail off as I ask if Ulfric somehow DOES remember me… no, that’s impossible. This is another loop. Everything goes normally from there. They try to have my head off and then Alduin attacks. I follow Ralof and the other Stormcloaks into the tower. But then it hits me that I’ve lost all of the progress I’d made in my previous game. This feels extremely depressing and I just drop to my knees under the weight of the depression. I ignore Ulfric when he says we need to move now, he’s not talking about me. Ralof tells me to get up the tower, but I ignore him, too. I say I think I’ll sit this one out. Ulfric asks what I’m waiting for. I look up, wondering why Ulfric would be addressing me when there are Stormcloaks who need to get away safely, including a wounded Stormcloak near me. I focus healing energy and he recovers. It must have been him Ulfric was talking to. I return to waiting to see what happens if I just sit here. Then someone is pulling me to my feet. I look and see Ulfric. He says he doesn’t know why I have decided to give up so easily… I say I have done this sooooo many times… Ulfric continues and says there’s no way the Dragonborn would give up, we’re leaving now. Then Ralof is also pulling me up. If I don’t go I’ll probably get Ralof and Ulfric killed… but how does Ulfric know I’m Dragonborn? That hasn’t been discovered yet… I get up and go along with Ulfric and Ralof. Aside from Ulfric being with us everything is following the normal course. I get separated for a bit and have to follow Hadvar until I find Ralof again. I don’t see Ulfric. Ralof says they got separated. The rest of the intro quest goes normally. I take too much pleasure in setting the Imperial captain on fire, the one who ordered my execution even though I wasn’t on the list. Ralof and I get out of Helgen just as Alduin is flying away. Ralof wants to get my promise that there will be no more talk of giving up. I realize my depression has lifted some and I no longer feel like giving this cycle up. I tell Ralof it was a passing depression, and it has passed now. I thank him for helping me. He says we are both safe, that’s what counts. We make our way to Riverwood before I wake up.
2019, 10-17 Underground Slavery Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in a cage. There is a Dunmer outside the cage gazing in at me. He is wearing green robes and has some mechanical device over his left eye that makes it look like he has been assimilated by the Borg. I ask who he is and he says he is Shanath Selthri, we are now in Sadrith Kegran, and I am his property. I say no, I belong to no one. He says he bought and paid for me so I am his. I tell him I’ve heard enough of that bullshit, I’m out of here. He says not until he lets me out, I can’t even get out of that cage unless he lets me out. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and cut through the cage bars, creating an easy exit. Shanath steps back and stares at this and repeats that I am his slave and I must obey him. I find myself speaking in Disturbed lyrics. “I’m no slave, are you feeling brave? Or have you gone out of your mind?” I am thinking to cut him in two but then I stop… he’s no threat to me so there’s no need to kill. Instead I cut my blade through the air just centimeters from his chest. I’m rewarded with a look of fear and smell of urine. He has wet himself. Good enough. I unform my blade and walk out the door. I exit Shanath’s house into a city with huge glowing mushrooms. Graceful bridges span streams of phosphorescent water and strange crab creatures have glowing things on their backs. It is as bright as noon, but when I look up I see I’m not outside, I’m are in a huge underground cavern. Everything glows a different color, the result is beautiful. I wander through the town looking at the sights. The town is filled with mostly Dunmer, though there are some other people around. I notice the other people are all wearing rags while the Dunmer are wearing brightly colored robes like Shanath had been. I approach a woman in rags and speak to her. She looks at me but doesn’t answer. I try again. A Dunmer in dark pink robes comes over and tells me to leave her slave alone. I tell her she just lost her slave. And unless she wants to lose more than that she will walk away. I am feeling angry as I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and fix the Dunmer woman with what I hope is an intimidating glare. She starts responding with, “How dare you…” but then thinks better of it and hurries off. I turn my attention back to the woman. She looks scared. I tell her she’s safe with me now and will soon be free. I ask her if she can respond to me. She shakes her head and opens her mouth to reveal she has no tongue. I ask if these foul slave traders did that to her and she nods. I am even angrier now. I focus healing energy on the woman and it is able to regenerate her tongue. Her speech is a bit slurred as if she’s forgotten how to talk properly. She then points behind me. I look and see the woman from earlier along with a Dunmer man in green robes and several guards. The Dunmer woman points at me and says I’m the one who was so arrogant as to think I can take her slave. I glare at both of them and say true arrogance is thinking you have the right to abduct innocent people and bring them into an existence of forced labor and imprisonment. I tell her that ends now. I am taking the slaves with me. I will heal them and set them free. I brandish my Alex Mercer blade and add that if anyone interferes they will find themselves minus more than just a couple slaves. I keep the slave woman close to me as I go to look for more. The guards block my way. I still have hope of getting out without killing so I fus the group of five guards. FUS-RO-DAH! The guards fly backwards and land in a pile. I tell them that is the last non-lethal method I will use, so do not interfere! The Dunmer man says I can’t leave so I might as well give up. I ignore him and go off to find more slaves. I find more and heal their tongues. I have a dozen slaves with me when we head for the exit. When I go to pass through I feel my energy getting drained. I see I have an amulet on that is doing it. I pull the amulet off and throw it on the ground. I see they are all wearing the amulets so I take all of the amulets off and leave them in a pile on the ground. We all walk out of a cave and into the sunlight. Everyone seems to be unsure of what to do. I figure they need money to start a new life. I pull a purse full of gold from my robes. I have tons of it! I give each person 10,000 gold to start with and I still have tons left. What do I want to spend it on? I’ll hang on to it for now. I wake up here.
2019, 09-30 Skyrim: The Alex Mercer Mod Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am in my car with my ex-boyfriend James. We are on our way to work. We must be on some kind of business trip because we also have a hotel room where we will be staying. We arrive and the office is right next to the hotel. When we go to the hotel we find out that our room is on the opposite side of the hotel from the office. I find that annoying because it is a big hotel and it will take a while to make the walk. I drive us to the right area and park right in front of the room. We go inside and find it is a nice room. James changes clothes right there as if we were still together. I go change in the bathroom. Fortunately there are two beds and they are separated by a temporary wall like those that often separate office cubicles. After we are done changing we head for the office. It is a long walk. I break off to make a visit to the restroom. I find that some people are giving out free food, it is a service of the hotel. They are almost out but I am able to get a chicken drumstick and some potatoes for my breakfast. It doesn’t strike me as odd that they serve fried chicken and potatoes for breakfast. I go to the office where we will be working. I see James is jealous of my fried chicken breakfast. He says he will get some but I tell him they were almost out. He seems annoyed. I turn on my computer and get prompted to continue my setup in virtual reality. I see a VR headset on my desk. I pick it up and put it on… Now I am playing Skyrim VR. For some reason this doesn’t seem odd to be playing Skyrim VR at work. And what a great VR headset! It looks like the laboratory of a mad scientist. Right in front of me is a Thalmor that looks like he has somehow been assimilated by the Borg. He says his name is Archeron. I make fun of him, imitating his voice and saying, “I am Archeron of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.” He says he doesn’t know what Borg is or about being assimilated, but I am right in that resistance is futile. He says I must be the new arrival who will help him break the tower faster. The Dark Tower? This asshole wants to break the Dark Tower? I say I will never help him. He can go fus himself. Archeron laughs and says I will be much more cooperative after my lobotomy. I fus him right in his Borg face. FUS-RO-DAH! Nothing happens. I do a double take. Archeron says he has already modified himself beyond being affected by such things. I ask if he’s immune to being sliced in two. He says no sword in Skyrim can harm him. I say I don’t use swords from Skyrim… I use swords from Prototype. He asks a prototype of what? I answer, “Alex Mercer.” I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and tell him I’ve had a few modifications of my own, I’m no longer a mere Breton, I am an unstoppable virus! He is trying to figure out what that means when I use my Alex Mercer blade to slice him from his left shoulder down to his right hip, effectively cutting him in two. The look on his face when he dies is one of disbelief. I want to keep playing, but everything fades to black and I wake up.
2019, 08-29 Regular Dream - Video Game - Lucid Dream - Notes Dark Tower of Skyrim: Between Two Worlds I am playing Skyrim VR. I am starting over yet again though I don’t know why. I am in the cart with Ralof, Ulfric, and Lokir. We go through the gate into Helgen. I see Elenwen and I know she and the Thalmor are responsible for my repeating this so many times. I call to her that their plan will fail! The tower will stand, the rose will be preserved, the gunslinger will finish his quest. And I don’t care how many times they make me repeat this timeline! Elenwen looks a bit alarmed, like I wasn’t supposed to realize I’ve been repeating this time period or that their target is the tower. We get off the cart, Lokir runs and gets killed, my name isn’t on the list but the captain says I should die anyway. Then Tullius starts his monologue. Elenwen interrupts and says she wants me executed first. I tell her that won’t do any good. Tullius gets angry and says he’s in charge here, and the traitor will be the first to… then Alduin arrives and torches the building behind Tullius. Everyone runs for cover. I yell after Elenwen that I will find her and I will fus her with a full FUS-RO-DAH! I am surprised when the fus works and Elenwen is blasted from her horse. Ulfric stares at me, then our path to the tower is cut off by Alduin’s flame. So Ulfric and I go into the inn. I hurry through the door into the inn and run into Ulfric, who has stopped. I see we are in the lobby of an apartment building or hotel. Ulfric is completely confused by the modern looking setting. I look for the door back to Helgen, but it is gone. The only door leads out onto a busy modern street. I am thinking this must be one of my mods, but it has started too soon! And Ulfric isn’t supposed to be here! I distract Ulfric from looking outside to the busy street teeming with cars, I tell him I will get him back to Skyrim. But I’m not even sure what is happening, though I don’t tell him that. I follow the sound of voices into a dining room that is filled with a black mist that makes it look like Silent Hill. Father Callahan is in the room holding up the scrimshaw turtle. At least dozens of people are looking at the turtle, enraptured. Many of them have purple auras, others have animal heads, and others have red pulsing holes in their foreheads. Vampires, Taheen, and Can-Toi. I quickly tell Ulfric not to look at the object Callahan is holding or he will be entranced as well. I resist an urge to turn my own gaze on the turtle that emits so much light. I say the vampires are about to attack, I have to help Callahan. He won’t die in this instance! As I approach Callahan the tapestry on the wall is torn down and the ugliest vampires I have ever seen enter the room. It looks like their fangs have grown wild, they have too many teeth to fit in their mouths! Callahan holds a glowing cross towards them and that keeps them at bay. This shift of focus allows a fat Taheen to lunge at Callahan and knock the turtle from his hand. Now several Can-Toi and Taheen move towards Callahan, their leader seems to be a malformed version of Big Bird. I am too far away to attack directly, but not too far away to fus. FUS-RO-DAH! I fus the enemies coming at Callahan, sending them flying across the room. The fus distracts Callahan, however, and the vampires make their move. They all get fus’d by Ulfric as they attack, throwing them against the far wall. Now everyone attacks. At first I am cutting down enemies with my Alex Mercer blade but then I see the dark clouds close around some of the enemies and I think that can be healed. I call up a crescent moon wand like in Sailor Moon and use a moon healing effect to fill the room with light energy. I telepathically tell those healed to get out since Callahan and Ulfric won’t be able to tell them apart from the other enemies. I don’t see details of what is going on, but I hear more fus’ing and quite a bit of gunfire. I know Callahan had a gun, did someone else join in? Soon all of the enemies are either dead or have fled. Now the fight is over, or I thought it was over. I hear a gunshot from out in the black fog and the shot hits Ulfric right between the eyes. Shit! That will break too many quests! It’s a good thing I’d placed a quicksave when I thought the fighting was done. At first I’m not sure how to load that save game, but somehow I make it happen. So this time I am able to throw up a Witchblade shield just in time to block the bullet that would have killed him. I look into the fog but I can’t see who fired the shot. I call out, asking who is out there. But then I feel I am almost out of time. I have to get Ulfric back to Skyrim. But how? I need to find a door… but a door to Skyrim? Is there such a door? But I’m about to wake up. Wake up? Is this a dream instead of a game? No time to consider. I open a portal to Windhelm and I go to push Ulfric through it, no time to explain what is happening. There is another gunshot and this time I can feel the bullet pass between Ulfric and me as I push him towards the portal, but I wake up before I get him through it.
2019, 08-21 Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes The End of Torture I am in a dark place, I am spontaneously lucid. It looks like a dungeon dimly lit by torches. I follow a stone passage to a lit room at the end. I see a table with nails sticking up from it and a naked woman tied to it on her back. A man is straddling her, clearly relishing the pain it causes when he pushes her body into the nails. Three more men are standing around the table laughing. I walk into the room and tell them to release the woman immediately, calling the men sick monsters. They laugh at me, one says I’m next, just be patient. Another asks who I am. I say I’m their worst nightmare. I change my right arm into an Alex Mercer style blade. That freaks them out. Two try to fight, the other two run. I cut them all down, they seem more like demons than men to me. I then cut the woman free. She is crying. I manifest a robe to put around her and I focus healing energy on her wounds. The scene around me shifts, now I’m in a hot desert. The woman I rescued is still with me. There is a naked man tied out in the sun. He looks badly sunburned. Two more men are sitting under an umbrella drinking something. One gets up and walks to a berry bush on the other side of the tied man, deliberately stepping on him then going, “Oh, sorry! I didn’t see you there. Is it hot enough for you?” He laughed as he picked some berries then stepped on the man again on his way back. The tied man says he will tell the others anything they want to know. One of the others laughs and says they don’t want information, they just want to watch him die, nice and slow. I still have my Alex Mercer blade formed, so when one of the men looks over at me he first asks what the fuck am I, then he pulls a sword and both he and the other attack. I cut them down easily. I free the prisoner, give him a robe to cover with and use healing energy on his wounds. The scene shifts again. The two people I have rescued are still with me. Now I see three men and two woman standing around a naked man tied to a spit and being roasted alive over a fire! There is a pan below the man that is collecting some kind of drippings, and one of the women laughs as she spoons the bubbling liquid over the man. What is with these sick people?! I give the sadists one chance to release the man peacefully and when they just laugh at me I quickly put an end to them and free the prisoner, giving him another robe and healing. My Alex Mercer blade is dripping with gore, I am a bit grossed out so I unform the blade. I am hoping not to need it again. The next scene is with a naked woman tied up and seated on the pointed end of a triangular shaped bench thing, it looks very uncomfortable. The triangular tip is lined with rather long and rusty nails. There are weights tied to the woman’s ankles to increase the force pulling her down on those nails. A man dressed like a Stormcloak soldier is watching with rapt attention, drinking in the woman’s pain. When I give him his one chance to release the woman he gets mad and yells at me, saying he knows Ulfric wouldn’t approve but he doesn’t give a shit, this fort is his! This bitch refused to follow orders so now she pays the price! And if I try to snitch then I’ll be next! Since this seems to be a Skyrim world I fus the asshole. FUS-RO-DAH! He flies across the courtyard and hits a wall. The man looks shocked. He said there’s no way I could be the Dragonborn… the Dragonborn would never be such a wimp… When he attacks I incinerate him into a pile of ash with the fire breath shout… YOL-TOOR-SHUL! I free and heal the woman and give her a robe. There are now two men and two women that I have rescued. The scene shifts again, but then I wake up.
Skyrim: Dream of the Gunslinger 2019, 07-29 Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes I am playing Skyrim VR. For some reason I am starting over yet again. I am thinking I have started over so many times but I can’t think why. And here I am back in the cart with Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric. I look at them and Ralof says the usual stuff, so does Lokir. I ask no one in particular how many times I have to repeat this. Well there’s nothing to do but wait for the dragon. Ulfric is staring at me. I don’t remember noticing him staring at me here before. I look around the cart and I see numerous Imperial soldiers riding around us, more than I remember noticing in past times I played this. But other than that it seems to be going normally… until we arrive at Helgen at the same time as a group of bandits. The cart comes to a stop near Helgen because there are bandits between us and the main gate. They’re fighting someone. I hear the crash of a gun firing. The bandits freeze, not sure what to make of that noise. A mage throws a fireball at someone near the gate. There is another gunshot and the bandit mage falls. More start attacking, and more gunshots ring out. Bandits fall, one for each shot fired. The bandits actually show intelligence as they scatter from the unknown threat. As the bandits scatter I see a familiar face. It’s Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books by Stephen King! The guards are trying to arrest Roland, so much for showing some gratitude for defending Helgen from bandits. It seems they’re assuming Roland is also a bandit. The fact we were delayed at the entrance to Helgen does not delay Alduin’s arrival. The huge black dragon soars over Helgen, bathing everything in his path in fire. He saves a blast of flame for those of us outside the gate. The explosion flips the cart end over end, dumping all four of us out. I have an image of the cart landing on top of me and I try to get up only to be knocked back down when Ulfric lands on top of me. The flaming cart lands several feet away with a crash. I look to the side and see Alduin grab Lokir for a snack. That guy just can’t catch a break! Ulfric gets off of me so I can get up now. I see Roland staring at Alduin in amazement. When the dragon circles for another pass Roland starts shooting, though the shots have no apparent effect. There is now chaos. People are running through the gate and into the surrounding wilderness to try to escape Alduin, many don’t make it. There’s an explosion near the gate and I lose sight of Roland. I head in his direction, I have to be sure he’s ok. Someone grabs my arm and pulls me towards the cover of the trees. I look and see it’s Ralof, I pull away from him and head for the remains of the gate. Roland comes out of the smoke, he looks unharmed. The Imperial captain that I hate so much is coming at us with several guards. I want to fus her. So I do. FUS-RO-DAH! The captain and the guards all go flying backwards from the force of it. If I have to repeat this, at least this cool glitch repeated! Someone has grabbed my arm again. I look and see Ulfric this time. He says we have to move now, I won’t go anywhere until I know Roland is ok. Roland isn’t even supposed to be here, I’m not leaving him. I pull away from Ulfric and go to Roland. Roland is staring at Alduin, who is over Helgen and torching everything. I grab Roland and tell him we have to get to cover. Roland turns to me but then becomes transparent and disappears. What the fus?! I am looking where Roland disappeared. My arm is grabbed again and this time I go without even looking to see who is pulling me. I am soon in the trees with Ralof and Ulfric and a couple other Stormcloaks. I am wondering what happened to Roland. Ulfric wants to know where I learned to shout, but when Alduin roars, Ulfric says that will have to wait. I am about to follow Ralof and Ulfric into the trees but I wake up. After I wake up I wonder if I disappeared just like Roland did…
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