Recent DJ Posts

I'm in a medieval fantasy world much reminiscent of Oblivion or Skyrim. I see one guy, wearing oddly modern clothes, mindlessly shuffling around. He looks and acts like a zombie, but no one cares. He's being used for manual labor, or something. A bit later, I've climbed a steep rock wall and I'm hanging off the side (Assassin's Creed style), looking out over what I know to be the edge of the map. I wonder what's beyond it. I reach a kind of mineshaft, or cave. My dad is suddenly with me. We're assaulted by giant spiders the size of a large dog. We make a run for it through the tunnel, and emerge on the other side. We exit into a grassy clearing, with a large, imposing forest right in front of us. The forest is full, and I mean FULL of giant spiderwebs. And of course spiders. I'm like "no way", but my dad is like "we can do it, let's go" so I have no choice but to follow him in. Somehow, we get through, because in the next scene I recall, we've reached the world beyond the mountains and the spider forest. No one was ever supposed to get this far. To our surprise and horror, it's the modern world. We're in a modern city, clearly abandoned a century or more ago. The sky is overcast and depressing. Everything is covered in rust and dust, and in a state of falling apart. I recognize one of the ruined cars as a Renault 5. Then, we find someone. A worker wearing a fluorescent jacket. He just mindlessly shuffles back and forth, seemingly aware of us, or anything else. We continue exploring, until my dad starts acting strange. He asks things like "how did we get here", and other things he should really know. Like he's having memory loss. Suddenly, I realize the truth of this place. A hundred+ years ago, something happened, some substance was released into the atmosphere (or some kind of radiation) that gradually sapped people of their intelligence - inducing amnesia, dementia and finally a vegetative zombie-like state (though they aren't cannibals). Society fell apart without the people there to maintain it. Somehow, "Skyrim valley" (the fantasy world we'd traveled from) was a special place shielded from this effect. The guy wearing modern clothes I saw in the fantasy world was probably a guy from here, who somehow crossed over like we did. I desperately try to explain this to my dad, who is getting increasingly confused as time goes by.

5th November 2021

Dream:

Later bit, disjointed. JC discovered he's suffering from macaquism (made-up dream thing?) after he was "enlightened", in his words, about my condition. Then, we get to start on drawing class, it's like at college/high school but different room and layout.

Earlier. In a city, L? Cobbled and semi-narrow pavements. I'm going to the bank. There's been some disaster and the building across the way from the bank looks like it's partly exploded and I want to take photos. It's night time and I fiddle on with my camera and the poor lighting. People are gathered nearby and I sort of make my way through and past them, having apparently forgotten my goal. I go far enough to find firefighters and such who are now off duty.

The sky/light is getting brighter? Not as dark now, early day. There's some kind of secondary blast and it makes me jump a little. At the end of the way there are some school kids fighting amongst themselves, blaming each other for something. I turn back after I get a small hit of flying vomit from the kids, although I did not have line of sight to what was actually going on. I go past the bank again now, noticing that it has been damaged too. At this point I remember about wanting to go to the bank but realise I can't so I carry on. I have thoughts about my family, maybe if they're wondering about what's taking me so long.

At one point, there's some villain. I get into a situation where I'm now inside the bank building and I get herded around with other people, wrong place wrong time. I mostly find all of this to be annoying more than anything else. We're made to get off the building by something like a fire escape stair but it doesn't go down far enough. A young woman just jumps down and injures herself, knocked out. I understand that would be foolish to repeat and so instead I climb down more carefully by holding the railings and effectively dropping a much shorter distance, and safely.

Then something about a hero being needed (some narration?), and sure enough a single one answers the call. It's a middle-aged man, not confident in his role as a hero. He doesn't trust that his devices will be enough. (Intrusion, partly related to my thoughts over the years about Batman) Equally, I am not very confident in this hero's ability myself. He seems willing to try, regardless.

(Recall gap?)

Some bit later on, sort of at the old home. Something in the balcony of my old room. There are weird bugs, leaf bugs, I think I tell dad. And other weird black skittering centipede things, but kind of fat. They are having a war of some kind between some spiders, big and small. I think to myself that the only answer to this will be mass destruction. I think of what chemical would both be at hand and also appropriate in terms of effectiveness.

Notes:

- I remember carrying my replica gladius around in the dream, for a large portion of it.

- The last bit with the bugs fighting the arachnids at first glance seems to relate to thoughts that more developed species or cultures may have at any point about less developed ones, say if some highly advanced species visited us or vice versa. Like many other things though, I am noticing that this is a pattern (of thought in this case) that is abstract and can be applied in a multitude of different but similar contexts; in a sense relating to concepts of macrocosmos vs. microcosmos and how they mirror each other.

- Although I didn't make note of it in my initial notes, I get the impression I was lucid for some of this dream, but I don't recall thinking of this as a lucid on waking. There were certain pre-lucid elements and it may have just been a case of higher awareness closer to the required threshold for lucidity.

- I don't know what the supposed illness JC had might have been in terms of symptoms, as I didn't notice anything specifically. Thematically, it all seemed to be a bit about the ability for someone else to understand the difficulties of some illnesses based on having their own experiences with an illness.

- Despite my low level of confidence in him and his own low level, the middle-aged hero persisted in his role. Heroism is not necessarily about bravery but sometimes maybe about the lack of freedom of choice? Plus, the role of a hero is not necessarily easy or by choice anyway? Many "heroes" the world have seen have been posthumously awarded the honour and in life were often not recognised. This dream as a whole had more themes about death (and life) than I realised or noticed at first: My friend's illness, implied to be lifelong; the exploded building with a subsequent explosion; the woman who jumped off trying to get away, knocking herself out; the hero who may face his doom, seemingly left with no choice; the bugs fighting their own wars, ignorant to a higher intelligence intent on destroying them all.
-- I feel that in the last few months I've had a lot of dreams relating to death and the state of post-death, sometimes very much in a "what if" way, all of it seemingly relating to my questions to myself about legacy (framed as: "should I die today, then...?").

30th October 2021

Scraps (DFLN):

Game-like world, lots of yellow sulphur colours. Some kind of secret level with giant spiders. I don't feel afraid but possibly a little anxious because of the overall situation; I feel pressured to get to the bottom quickly, there may be a timer or score. The spiders look like alternate versions of regular garden spiders (orb weavers, I think).

Some other bit, T is at a computer playing a game and I stab him from behind at the top of his back with two black steel arrows and then I quickly pull them back out. He doesn't seem to be in pain and has very little reaction to this. I'm doing this for his own good, not to kill him. I put pressure over the bleeding. This seems to take place at some kind of open but sheltered guard tower, in a castle or something?

Possibly still from that bit, some kind of trade hub town. It's blown up by a nuke thing at one point, and using time travel I find out it was bound to happen at 7PM. I find out circumstances are different from what I had expected, something about an army general.

I’m in the bathroom at Mom’s, and I think Melissa is here, in my room. I’m just past the threshold of the door, between the shower door and the wall. I suddenly become aware of two to three very large spiders on the walls to each side of me. They are probably a good six inches across and a very unnerving off-white. They seem bony or spindly/rigid, yet hairy, bristly, and agile. They seem far too close to my head, as if with one wrong move I would come into contact with them. I’m not sure if I feel fear or not, but I do know that their presence is very vivid.

Strange insects
Somehow, in a sort of void which is seemingly somehow between some sort of piping in my flat, I find a bunch of strange spider-like creatures(*). I know, in the dream, that their presence near somebody damages their mind like black mold(**), so I thought of ways to get rid of them. I went away from the bugs to laying on the living room couch, telling my mother about the insects. I then notice that the bugs are walking around behind the couch. Back to the void, I find a sort of mushroom and eat it(***). In my "inventory"(****), which suddenly appeared, it was marked as something with a name beginning with "Momma". For some reason, this mushroom was supposed to help against the insects. I then find myself at a doctor, with him assessing what damage the insects did to my mind(*****). Most of the room was a very bright white color, a strong light above and a sort of chair which could be set to have somebody in a more laying or more sitting position. He pointed at an MRI image of my brain, specifically at an abnormal part of it, using a sort of long stick.

My father going insane
I'm in my father's car, my mother sitting behind me and my father left of me. We were driving along a long road towards a sort of small shopping street and a school. I didn't know where exactly we were going, though. Suddenly, for some reason, my father gets so mad he just somehow launches himself out of the car at low speed into a sort of field at the side of the road, somehow from the right side where I was sitting but not, even though he was just at the left side. I and my mother were panicked. I asked her which pedal was the brake again, but she was so panicked she didn't answer. A turn was coming, so I steered into it as hard as I could, nearly losing control of the car. We then heard police sirens. Then the dream ended.

---

*They appeared because I had a startling encounter with a very, to me, gross spider I had encountered a day before. Before I went to bed yesterday, I had looked at it again, which was the reason it appeared in the dream in a stylized fashion.

**As I fell asleep, a sort of crime documentary show had an episode running about babies becoming infected with an unkown disease. In the end, the episode concluded by revealing that black mold is what made them sick. That is what created this part of the dream.

***Inspired by an addon in Garry's Mod.

****Reminiscent of the Rust inventory.

*****This scene was inspired by when I went to a doctor to check on a possible pollen allergy.

I'm in some kind of village, surrounded by high walls. There was no way out of the village. I was trapped in there with my last surviving grandfather, who was evil and was keeping me there. I tried to sneak out of the village somehow, and tried to hide from him. But I ran into him anyway. He came towards me, saying that I was coming with him. I got really pissed off, and wanted to defend myself by hitting him in the face. I was so pissed off, I woke up instantly. I smashed my real-life fist into my nightstand, which hurt.

I turned into some kind of small creature, and navigated a miniature village while a girl watched me. I noticed I had many small legs, like an insect. Then I saw the houses of the village were full of giant spider webs. I realized in horror that this village was populated entirely by giant (to my miniature standards) spiders. I noped out so hard, I woke up.

I'm in a location I can't describe. A library? City streets? Both somehow? There's a long line of rubberbands (?) stretching out as far as the eye can see. I excitedly tell another character that this MUST mean the world runs on some kind of algorithm, as no one could possibly have placed THIS many rubberbands. Either it's a simulation, or it's a dream.

I'm on the Moon. Then I'm on Mars. I somehow end up inside a crater. I want to get out. I realize gravity is lower on Mars than Earth, and this should make flying easier. I jump up, and manage to fly out. I see the Mars surface. It still looks barren, but there's some plantlife here and there and I can breathe. There's another scene where I'm on the surface of Mars with a bunch of other characters, sitting on a chair. Other people are sitting in chairs next to me. We're in a long line. Most of them have some kind of superpower. An attractive blonde walks by, and sits down in a chair opposite of us. Suddenly, she's only a silhouette. I figure she's a shapeshifter. She turned into an older guy a bit later. Anyway... I end up flying off and just soaring over the Martian surface. Below me, the barren wasteland is full of people. I pondered about how this is the future of humanity. I thought it was odd. I always thought that in the future we'd all be cyborgs, not mutants. I flew some more, at one point coming close to hitting some tree branches. I figured because this is a dream, I couldn't get hurt. I saw a large building and decided to put this to the test. I flew straight towards it at top speed, and flew straight through the walls. All the way through the building.

I'm with my mother. We enter a strange kind of facility. Maybe military. I know where to go, somehow. We get into a white elevator (industrial-looking) and go down. Then we enter what looks like a missile silo retrofitted into a lab. Scientists are working on a bomb. Some kind of nuke. They needed our help to complete the work. At some I was concerned with how much radiation I was absorbing.

I was in some kind of café. There was this guy. Tall, big guy. He had a massive revolver. He shot me in the neck. I thought I was screwed, but then I noticed I wasn't really hurt and there was only a tiny scratch. I suddenly had such a weapon too. I aimed and tried to shoot. As so often happens in my dreams, I struggled to pull the trigger. It did go off eventually, and the bad guy fled the café. Someone congratulated me for resolving the situation. I didn't want to hear it, as I was bummed out the bad guy survived and escaped.

1st dream: I was brushing my teeth and one of my front teeth was black and rotting. I started to freak out and tried to brush the tooth but I couldn't remove the black crust that covered it. I rinsed out my mouth and was inspecting the tooth whenever I suddenly became impatient and pulled the rotting tooth out. For some reason removing the tooth was life or death.

2nd dream: I was cleaning something for my mom whenever I saw 3 spiders. They were gigantic but they didn't move. It really freaked me out but I couldn't run away for some reason.

3rd dream: Jed came to my office at work. He seemed really happy and was all smiles. He was in his air force uniform, in his hand he had a wrapped up jacket for me but there was something in the middle. I never looked at what it was becuase I went to give him a hug and he started to kiss me. Which for some reason I was unbothered that my boss was in the office as this whole ordeal went down.

She's a Child: My twenty something friend is messing around with a very troubled 17 year old. Every time he brings up her name I reply with, "She's a child. Send her home to her parents. Tell her to finish high school. Tell her you're not buying her alcohol anymore. If you really do care for her prove it by trying to help her, not by taking advantage of her. She's still a child."
Needless to say, this dream was mostly the pair of us arguing.

Barbershop Beeps: I am an old man with very long and very straight white hair, which is my pride. I have a friend who looks like Magneto. We go to a barbershop to get our hair trimmed. The staff send us to separate sides of the shop. It feels like they are up to no good. To convey my suspicions to my friend by talking to him in Morse Code by verbally beeping. It is me in the barbershop chair saying, "Beep. Beep. Beeeeeep. Beep. Beep." And my friend beeps back. We continue to talk in this manner.

Cleaning Cobwebs: My apartment is full of cob webs. It is like I have been gone for a very long time. I need to clean up because someone is using my place to have a bikini waxing party. (are those real?) As I am sweeping down spider webs I find one very large spider with very long legs. It shakes its front leg at me as if admonishing me for destroying its friends' webs. I leave this spider be but sweep away the rest. If the ladies don't like the long legged spider they can take their creepy party elsewhere.

GPS: fleeting dream of being lost in the woods and my gps going crazy
(watched Blair Witch last night)

I was in a dark, cold cavern. It somewhat looked like an old computer game, there was an altar with some small chest on it. I touched it and found myself in a strange city. A twist of mixed architectural designs. It was still dark, only street lights were shining. I walked up to a rooftop of a building using an outside staircase. I realized that it's a dream. I thought "What about warming this place up a bit?" I summoned an atomic bomb which stroke the city. It didn't changed much. I put my hand in a gesture trying to grab something, and I dragged a small, yellow glowing ball of energy to me. "I'll use this to power the city." Then I wandered the town some more. Going through alleys I was powering up whole districts by using the orb - basically pointing my fingers at wires. There were some dark figures wandering around, I pointed fingers at them and they disappeared. I entered a secret complex of "keepers"from thief games. There was an enforcer patrolling the area. I pointed finger at him and he fell dead. I thought "I should restart and let him live.

I lost lucidity and found myself at the first cave, escaping from enormous, deadly spiders.

Fragment

It was evening. I went to toilet and back to my room. I thought about making a prank to my pal, and took a costume of a horrifying ghost - a woman with dark hair, wearing a white dress.

Second dream

I was at a wedding. With family we drove to a small restaurant, where a black woman in a purple dress was telling random stories and jokes about marriage and stuff. I didn't listened to her, going outside and entering sewers instead. It was dirty all around, but it wasn't stinking. I saw one of my classmates playing with spiders, and met a man working in sewers. He told the classmate how to tame spiders, and then he went away saying "I have to meet up with Irene! Goodbye!". I went back to surface and met my father, then I entered the toilet. I wanted to pee, but there were people disturbing me. First a girl entered my cabin, then my father just tore the door to it and thrown it away. I thought "Screw it, I'll just do this!" and started peeing blood.

I'm in the kitchen with my husband and one of the cats. A TV or monitor (neither of which is in the kitchen in WL) is advertising a website called "soundandspeed.com." I make a note of it, because it looks like it will be a useful place to pick up Christmas gifts.

The cat is dashing around like a maniac: she runs up to me as if she wants to be cuddled, then runs away again as if afraid. I'm lying on the floor at this point so grab her and put her under my head, like a fluffy pillow, which calms her a bit.

The kitchen is full of spiders of all sizes. At one point I step in something that crackles like dry leaves, but I feel something wet on my foot (I'm just wearing socks) and notice that what I stepped in was the carcass of an enormous spider, at least two feet across. The legs have dried out into husks, the source of the crackling sound, but there is apparently some residual moisture in the body cavity, which is what got on my foot. I feel a surge of disgust.

There is another large dead spider by the door leading outside, this one about eight inches across. It is flattened, which makes me think I must have accidentally stepped on that one earlier.

The spiders seem to have come along with stuff that we brought in from the garage. There are also cobwebs and dead leaves clinging to the boxes. I'm not happy about this. I see a spider that I suspect to be a black widow, and as I go toward the sink to grab rubber gloves so that I can crush it, I see another spider on the edge of a crate that is clearly a brown widow. (Both black and brown widows are actually quite commonplace outdoors where I live in WL, so this is not an unusual experience.) Should I kill it? I remind myself that I've decide not to kill the brown ones since they are less dangerous than the black, but I can't have it living in the house, so I decide to trap it and put it outside.

"This is an infestation of spiders," I think, as I go to the cupboard to get a glass. I ponder the word "infest" as I choose a glass of a suitable size and shape for trapping the spider. Next I need a stiff but thin piece of paper to cover the opening once the spider is inside, and I notice a piece of mail on the counter that will do the trick. As I reach for it, I notice a dead branch propped up on the counter, occupied by another strange-looking spider. It is glossy black with the red markings of a black widow, but the red forms a splotch rather than an hourglass shape. The spider itself looks oddly inflated, almost perfectly round as though it might burst. I look more closely and see a ring of tiny spiders, its young, circling around it. I decide I had better get rid of this one before worrying about the brown widow, so I grab the branch and take it outside.

I throw the branch over the wall of my patio into the bushes, silently wishing that the spiders will have a good life—so long as they stay out of my house. Meanwhile, I notice that the surroundings look a bit different than usual; the neighbors appear to be living in an RV rather than their house, and the bushes are more sparse than they should be. As I start walking back to my house, the realization comes very naturally: I'm dreaming.

I remind myself that I should begin a task in order to help maintain dream awareness, so try to think of what to do. No personal goals come to mind, so I think about the TOTMs and remember the one with the phone. That seems a good one to pursue, under the circumstances.

I begin by imagining that my phone is right in front of me on top of the wall and ringing. It doesn't immediately manifest, so I decide I need to build expectation: the phone must be ringing in the house. I dash back as though I already hear it and don't want to miss the call. Bursting through the kitchen door, sure enough, I see my phone on the counter. Although it is not making an audible sound, the screen is lit up with an incoming call, so I quickly grab it and push the button.

I hear the voice of a polite-sounding young man with a Middle Eastern accent. He is already talking, and sounds like he was in the middle of leaving a message when I took the call.

"Hello?" I interrupt.

The man doesn't seem to hear me at first, and continues with his message. There was more to it, but this is the part I can remember: "—honey and sweetness. Despite Middle Eastern rituals and invocation of Far Eastern gods, we regret to inform you that—"

"I'm here! I'm here!" I insist. Finally I get his attention. He states my name. "Yes?" I ask.

"What is your opinion of our company's business practices?"

The question mystifies me, because I still have no idea who he is or what company he represents, so I inquire, "What is it that you do?"

Instead of answering directly, he asks, "What do you think about your reduced number of intimid—?"

He was interrupted by the sudden dispersal of the dream. My impression was that the last word was going to be "intimidating," but "intimate" is another possibility. Unfortunately, neither one adds much clarity to whatever it was he was about to say!

I was living on some kind of farm area and there was a chain link fence between my house and the neighbor's. My dog Loki escaped from the house and went running over to the fence, and at the same time I saw the neighbor's two bigger dogs, like both retrievers or something, run over and snarl at her. Loki was just walking along obliviously while these two dogs tore at the fence to get to her, and for some reason I was stuck at the door and couldn't go running after her, so I was watching helplessly and screaming. The two dogs tore through the fence, one went through the middle and the other went under, and they attacked Loki and I could hear all her whimpering and I was just flipping out. The two dogs eventually backed off and I ran over and Loki was lying on the ground covered in blood with a huge gash on her belly, and I started crying because I thought she was dead, but I looked and her eyes were open slightly and she was breathing, and when I picked her up her tail wagged a little. So I rushed into the garage but the car was blocked by someone's car who was visiting the house, and I screamed for Cory so his friend moved the car and Cory and I got in our own car and drove off to the vet. I was sitting in the passenger seat with Loki all distraught. It took a long while to get there, and when we stopped Cory got out but we were at CULVER'S... he came back to the car with two pints of ice cream and I was like WTF! I woke up pretty shaken.

I had a lucid dream, I don't remember how I became lucid, but it happened while I was standing in a dark grassy field looking out over a starry night sky. I rubbed my hands together to stabilize myself and scanned the horizon for the moon. It was pretty low on the horizon and slightly covered by some dark trees, but as I looked at it, I thought "I wonder if I can still do that ki flying thing... aiming for the moon would be a huge success." So I did! I focused my attention on the moon as a goal and I jumped into the air, flying towards it. I almost fell at first, and kind of dropped to the ground a bit, but I ignored it and kept my focus on my goal, and soon I was flying at super human speeds with the moon growing bigger and bigger. The moon was coming up pretty fast, so I threw my legs forward so I could land on my feet and descended. The moon was pretty small... it was like the size of King Kai's planet. I wandered around and looked at all the craters, then sat down and ran my hands through the sandy ground. Moon dust! The stars in the sky were even more awesome on the moon. I noticed off to the side was a little deep cave, so I leaned over and thought it would be cool to have moon-people, so I cleared out a bunch of rocks and stuff blocking the entrance and I saw some movement inside. But then I woke up.

I was in some kind of school-type setting, with a bunch of other people, and this guy kept checking me out and starting hitting on me and stuff. When he came over, I leaned over and whispered to him that I was going to go in an empty room down the hall, and that he should come out five minutes later after me, so we could meet up without everyone in the class knowing what was going on. So we met up in the empty room and had sex. Right afterwards, all the other people decided to move to that empty room, so we had to gather ourselves really quickly and pretend like nothing happened.

There was a mini-dream I had when I dozed off, it just involved me picking up daddy long legs spiders and one of them kept biting me. I looked at him walking along my arm biting me over and over and I was just all "Why you gotta do me like this, bro?!" Bah.

I suddenly became lucid during a regular dream when I looked down and noticed my hands looked strange. I was in a house... again. This time I didn't feel trapped, but I felt hopeless and unable to do anything, with no dream control at all. I walked through the house, intending to go outside, but then out of the corner of my eye I saw a square hole cut into the wooden floor. It was just big enough to climb down, and it seemed to radiate evil and darkness, with a staircase going down it... so I went down it. It seems I have this weird fearlessness in my dreams that I fail at in real life. I think its my determination to find what I want, like I'm so sick and tired of my lucids not working that I've stopped giving a fuck about nightmare things. They're only in my way, after all. As I walked down the stairs to the bottom, I turned the corner and the first thing I saw was a spider web with crazy things in it, like the big black scribble I remembered seeing on a nightmare creature in a dream a few weeks ago. I kept walking, down a huge wide hallway that was dusty with a hard packed dirt floor. It was dark but I could see a little in the distance. There was a tall, lanky grey alien standing a little bit ahead of me, and he moved closer, blinking in and out, without actually moving his body. When he finally got to me, I was just like FUCK YOU and slapped out my hand, and he turned transparent and faded away. I continued walking. I was looking for Seru to come break me free, but I was frustrated that I couldn't find him and he wasn't showing up when I called. Then I felt my dream fading and I returned to my waking body, but I lay perfectly still and attempted to re-enter the dream.

As I lay there, I went into sleep paralysis while waiting which just kept going and going until I finally gave up. But when I opened my eyes and sat up, I found I was back in the dream. It was super unstable though, so I focused on my surroundings, feeling things and noticing the sounds and smells... dank and musty. I was touching a metal bar or table and it was cold and hard. I continued down the hallway and came to an opening that was on the right side of the hallway. It was some kind of balcony open to the evening sky and the sun was going down. The ground outside was almost pitch black but the sun was bathing the balcony in a nice orange glow. But I couldn't get off it and go outside. I turned around toward the hallway and looked down it and figured I'd just sit and wait for Seru since that always seems to work. Arrogant domineering asshole, always wanting to be the initiator in any situation... Just then I saw some sunlight breaking through the hallway ceiling, illuminating it with rays of light and, and he was standing far down at the end of the hallway. He moved towards me but I couldn't see his face then, because it was in the shadow. When he came close, he jumped into the air and flew past me quickly, through the balcony into the evening sky. I jumped up and flew after him, breaking through the house and off the balcony as well. I flew behind him for a while, even though he was going pretty damn fast and I had a hard time catching up to him. But I was able to slowly catch up and fall in beside him... I was afraid he'd look over at me and have some creepy nightmarish face since I'd found him in the nightmare basement, but once I was parallel with him, he looked over at me with a smile and he looked regular. I guess moods and setting doesn't have any effect on a dream guide. I was so damn happy that he broke me out of the house again that I reached over and kissed him... it was a really vivid kiss, and felt real. Which was weird, because I can still imagine the feeling. When I did that, he stopped and wrapped his arms around me (what a sweetie. still an arrogant asshole though) We did some fun pervy things, but then I remembered I wanted to ask him something, so I asked if he really was my dream guide or if the last time I asked him was just a fluke. He reassured me that he was, but then he stopped and gave me a strange look, and I realized the dream was fading away again. Never got to finish my pervy stuff. Pityyyyyy.

I woke up into a lucid dream from sleep paralysis, and as I was laying there I saw a blue sky overhead. It morphed into different types of sky, like cloudy, rainy, night, day, etc. I tried getting up, but found myself anchored to my body, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't pull myself out of it. It felt like a rubber band, I'd pull forward and get snapped back. I finally closed my eyes and imagined myself bursting forth upwards, and even though I didn't exactly "burst forth", I still stood up. I looked down at my hands, and a few of my fingers were missing. I investigated my surroundings, because it looked like I was in a different house than usual. There were all kinds of strange things. Rooms that were creepy and worn down, staircases with picture frames on them that whizzed by at high speeds, and other stuff. There were so many doors to open! I kept exploring because I thought maybe the house represented something. As I moved along, I made it a little secondary priority to find Seru, because I've been wanting to make him my dream guide, figuring he could help me achieve my solar kamehameha quicker. I looked behind many doors and called out to him, but nothing. I opened one door and went into the room, and it was a pretty scary place. It looked like something out of Silent Hill. It was completely empty with stains all over the wall, and there was a single tiny window with metal bars over it. As soon as I realized I was a bit scared, I knew that meant something freaky would show up. First I attempted to leave through the window, but I couldn't phase through, nor could I punch out the wall. I heard something coming, so I flew up into the corner of the ceiling and stood still. A weird humanoid thing that shambled along came in, and it had a huge lumpy black thing in place of its head. It was a bit... terrifying. As I floated there by the ceiling where it couldn't get me, I thought "You know, this is a long ass lucid dream, and I'm not going to waste it hiding from scary shit. I'm looking for Seru and I'm exploring this house that may or may not represent my subconscious, so FUCK THIS GUY." and I immediately landed on the floor, marched up to the creepy thing, and said "FUCK YOU BITCH. Now you will tell me where Seru is or so help me I will kick your ass so hard!" ...it stopped shambling and turned toward a direction, so I left it and went off that way. Soon I came across an old guy lazing around on an armchair, so I asked him the same thing. He was absolutely no help whatsoever. Figured. I continued on, trying to control things, trying to summon things, but nothing worked. Nothing's worked at ALL lately. So I just gave up. I slid to the floor and just cried and cried, thinking what the fuck is the point of lucid dreams if I'm always trapped in some house every single time? I felt so friggin hopeless. While I was down there crying, suddenly someone came up from behind and wrapped their arms around me, and I was all "Great, now more scary shit's come to mess with me." But nope, I turned around and it was Seru, yay! Immediate tears-b-gone! He flew me through the house at super speeds and I tried to take in all the things around me, and then we both flew straight through the house and out into the open blue sky. I felt so happy to finally break free of the lucid dream houses. I know the whole being locked in the house thing symbolizes something, maybe one day I'll figure out what it is. But anyway, I totally got laid. Like, up in the sky. HELL TO THE YES. We... um, kinda went at it for a while, and I was thinking I'd wake up before I got awesome dream-orgasms. But I didn't! Then I asked him if he'd be my dream guide, and he gave me this little knowing smile, so... maybe? He seems to be able to break me free from the houses, so that would be nice. Plus possible solar kamehameha tutoring? I guess I'll find out in my next lucid.

I dreamt I just moved to a new place, but I couldn't get into the house, so I had to sleep in the pod. I climbed up on top of all of the boxes and laid down at the top, so close that my nose touched the ceiling if I shifted. I remember seeing a creepy spider web only inches away from me with multiple spiders on it, and it kinda freaked me out but if I didn't bother it then they wouldn't mess with me. In the morning, my cousin Janessa opened up the pod and saw me up at the top, and told me to get the hell out and called me stupid for sleeping there instead of elsewhere. I was annoyed she was bugging me, but tried to inch my way out, but I couldn't see my path and wound up getting my head stuck, so she had to push me out the way I came in.

I had a bunch of 'dream bits' as I started waking up in the morning. There was a group of people I was a part of, and we stole a bunch of gold, enough to fill up the entire trunk of a car. We were all excited and everyone left, leaving a girl and guy to watch over it. They kissed and took all the gold and fled. Then later I was at some restaurant to meet someone, it was some kind of shady deal. When I got there, the waiter at the front was embarrassed and said some other man who was at the table I'd reserved hadn't left yet. I realized it was probably who I was meeting, so I said it was okay and went over to sit down in the booth across from him. He was kind of shady looking with a business suit, and we waited for the other guy. The other guy came, and he was super handsome with blonde hair and a chiseled face, and was also wearing a suit. I don't know what we discussed. At some point, someone died. I think it was one of the people from the trunk gold.

I'm in my cousins house I suppose it is, it's unfamiliar in real life but their mom is in downstairs doing something and I'm upstairs waiting in their combined room fro them to come from school. I begin realize things, I combine one thing with one things and create some sort of herbal thing that effects the mind. The more things I make the more I seem to become ancient primitive like. And for some reason I can't stop, I feel compelled. Then my cousin come home and I try to convince them to make some things, one of my cousin doesn't care and sits down and gets on the pc, but the other cousin takes mine instead of makes his own, i didn't mind because I can feel that he can\t comprehend how to make it but he wants the effect. Well he takes it but he doesn't eat it, so meanwhile I\m still changing and now I'm like crawl walking like Tarzan and I decide I need to go and live in the wild and to have more access to the ingredients I need to make more of these things. Suddenly it's dusk and I'm in this square room cave and the ceiling is low and is entirely icicle like stone downwards. At first I have no fear, it's like a maze of stone walls and there's things painted on the floors ans the outer inside walls from the ancients who created this presumably 10 of thousands of years ago. On the floor paintings that warn of snakes in here. On the walls painting that warn of some sort of snake/bore animal and a human is running from it and one has a spear, and then some regular painting of people in Egyptian style art. I'm just walking around thinking about where I'll get my next ingredient and where in here I will sleep when the sun goes all the way down and then suddenly the sun goes down and it's dark and moonlight is shining in and I become scared shitless, and the paintings on the floor of snakes begin to look like real snake bodies all shiny in the moonlight and then I realize there's probably spiders and snakes in between these low hanging stone points that are just above my head so I begin to panic and run out of the cave, and now I'm naked, I'm naked crawling like and jumping and running like an ape and in complete fear and I don't feel like I can survive and I begin to think that it was stupid to go in solitude and that it would be simple if I had a tribe, there would be someone who jobs was to kill the spiders and snakes, surely someone wasn't afraid of spiders and snakes, and I would be the one to get out ingredients and someone could collect food. But I also new that I had no idea of how to get a tribe to live ion this cave with me.