Recent DJ Posts

11/28/20

I'm in a large dimly lit room with various beds and chairs in it. I notice an old friend Micheal laying towards the back of the room across some chairs. He's using clothes to keep warm while sleeping. I shake out a large heavy blanket for him to sleep with and drape it over him.
There's a rough looking english guy who looks like ed sheeran sitting on the couch leaning on a girl who's laying on one side. She doesn't like it. I make fun of him for it, he gets an attitude with me so I mock a British accent singing the Beatles "she don't caaaare, she don't care". She likes me. We end up cuddling and making out.
She mentions having a troubled past. At some point we are making music that's sort of punk and I'm yelling lyrics. It's still night time but I know no one who is sleeping will mind.

Something south park related

I am watching a livestream of some girl. She gets knee'd in the face and the phone gets picked up and the stream goes dead. I am concerned for her even though I don't know her. I tell Matt Smith who is suddenly around. All I remember is the address on the screen which said 305 S th. I tell him and he does some sciencey thing to locate her. We are at a strip mall and walk outside. She is sitting at a park bench across the street. I find it incredibly lucky. She has blue eyes and straight dirty blonde hair, she is dainty and fair skinned. I am enamoured. She assures me I don't want to get mixed up with her. But we are still concerned for her well being.

Dodgeball tournament mixed with overwatch.
They take all of our things in our pockets and put them all together before the match.
We win barely
I remember I was kind of rude to the Symmetra and knock her off the second story rail with my shield. I don't play rein usually but somehow we win. I am confused. I apologise to her after the match saying it was nothing personal.
The coach of the other team is kind of mad at me for beating his team. He complains they were going to make state finals and his team worked so hard to get to where they were. I am walking to my car and I see the fair skinned girl again. I invite her to come with. I don't have my phone and have gathered it went missing in the big pile of peoples things. There is a nokia in my car I call the coach on. I assure him everything will be ok and I am sorry his team lost. But I am sure they will do better next time. He is surprised I am so supportive of my competitors. I wish them well and tell him I lost my actual phone at the competition, I say goodbye.

She is now completely nude standing over me. I motion for her to come here. She lays on top of me straddling one of my thighs. She is petite and incredibly soft. I just caress her skin from the neck down her back, her arms and sides and legs. I tell her I cannot believe how soft she is. And I could just touch her skin all day, I count her freckles down the side of her body. She is comforted and we just lay together in each other's arms. Nothing sexual, more sensual. We are incredibly close.

#545 WILD and DEILD chain 5:45am

I do a quick WBTB and focus on WILD by putting my awareness on a spot on my forehead. There was probably some loss of awareness but as things start getting dreamy and I manage to bring myself back. There was little to no vibration this time; if any at all. Just a slight feeling of a chemical change in my head. I exit
I walk around the house a bit and remember I wanted to put my VR headset on in a lucid so I appear in the back room and quickly put it on. One screen was green and the other red for a moment and I worry that I will had some garbage visuals and lose the dream to darkness. Instead of letting that thought take root, I say, " Common. See! Really look and see."
I am now in a vividly colorful jungle looking at various colored poison dart frogs. The more I look at them the more they are morphing into snakes. I don't know if I'm weirded out or just want to keep the dream moving along but, I decide to just bite ones head off and walk away.
Suddenly I am now having sexy time with my wife and I lose my focus. However, there is very little sensation.

I wake a little and DEILD. Definitely no vibration. The dream just forms and I'm lucid but not sure how locked in I am so I kind of let the scenario play itsself while I ask the DC dumb questions. It rarely give anything interesting and I'm not sure why I wasted LD time on it. Still interesting I suppose.
Anyway, its some woman talking to me and I'm stupidly taking DJ notes so I'll remember what she's saying. Of course I don't recall much. She's going on about Dr. Dodope (or something like that) taking her car keys and then getting suspended for it. I keep asking her questions to lead her on to finish telling me her story but none of it makes a whole lot of sense. I keep writing notes.

I wake a little. This time I remember my dream goal and visualize walking around the house once more. Once I'm in the dream (zero vibration or feeling of change) I start transforming into a werewolf by the front door. I see my hand change and I feel my hind legs change and grip the floor behind me. I start making the motion of running on all fours like an animal. I can feel it but the visual of the dream is stuck still at the front door. I growl a deep monstrous growl to get the dream going but it doesn't work. I start howling instead but I'm still stuck. Then I wake up and think I should probably write some of this down.

I end up having to get up and go to the bathroom for a bit. I lay back down to WILD again. I have a few close moments of success but I lose my focus and have non lucid dreams the rest of the morning

A set of recurring bear dreams.


Mid October, 2017

I was in a variation on my aunt F and uncle C's house where a party was being held. There were so many strange and quirky characters there that it felt more like an indoor carnival. In one room I met a woman who was the caretaker of a semi-trained bear. People took turns meeting the bear, warily, before leaving, fully amused by their encounter. It was a black bear, small as bears go but still large enough to do some serious damage if it wanted to. It followed me around in particular and it kept resting its head in my lap every time I sat down. Each time I would feel a little on edge despite its outward displays of affection. I was worried about making the wrong move and setting off its wilder instincts. After the fourth or fifth time I started to even feel annoyed, not wanting to have to stay on my toes all the time. The caretaker woman seemed to sense my annoyance and she came up to me saying, “It is a great honor to be chosen by a bear.” I wandered out of the room, thoughtful, but not entirely convinced.

***

Thursday Night, 11/7/19

See "The Jaguar Woman" entry.

***

Tuesday Night, 6/30/20

I was someone else, a man in his 40's I think, outside at the edge of a forest as dusk was approaching. I morphed to resemble my waking self. I began climbing a large arbor for some reason, treating it like a jungle gym. While I was up there, I discovered a baby elephant hanging from its trunk in the arbor I was climbing. I stared at it for a while, confused by how it got up there. It changed into a bear cub. Das showed up. He thought the baby bear was cute and wanted to pet it indefinitely. I began to think about the implications, however, and I started looking around nervously for the mother. It appeared to be alone out here, but I was still wary.

"We shouldn't have put our scent on the cub." I told Das, "The mother will smell us and get angry if she's around."

Das shrugged. "I'm not worried. Look! He wants pets!"

I sighed and edged my way down the arbor. "Come on." I said, trying not to be too loud, "It's almost night time, we need to leave the forest now if we want to get clear of wherever the mother bear is at." I started creeping quietly away from the arbor and towards a sparser area of trees.

Das shrugged again but reluctantly stopped petting the cub and trailed along behind me.

I started to hear sounds in the bushes and a low rumble, and I realized the mother bear had arrived. For a moment I picked up the pace but continued to try to be as quiet as possible, hoping we might somehow get away before it finished locking onto our location. I searched my mind for what to do in case of a bear attack, and I remembered to play dead. The mother bear showed herself, blocking our path. I realized we weren't going to make it. The bear roared angrily and charged at us, knocking down Das first. Then she ripped into me (which didn't hurt as much as one would expect) and I got to see my intestines, right before my right eye was detached from its retina and everything went dark. I woke up. "Damn it Das..." I said out loud.

***

Thursday Night, 11/5/20

I'm talking with my parents outside on the deck when an adolescent black bear wanders into our back yard and we notice it has an abscess on the right side of its head. My mom wants to go over to it and treat it. I'm also worried about the bear's health, but I do not think it's a good idea to go up to it like that. I suggest maybe calling a wildlife center instead. "I have some leftover antibiotic ointment from when the cats were sick, I'll go get it!" My mom says and goes back into the house. My dad laughs at us and goes back inside to the other side of the house.

I follow my mom and try to get her to reconsider, but she doesn't listen to me. "Well, here it goes!" She starts heading back outside with the ointment.

"Mom, no!"

My mom jumps a little, startled. "Ah, you scared me!"

"You should be scared, it's a bear!" I look away for a moment, wondering about the wildlife center idea again, but when I look back I see that my mom is way out in the yard heading towards the bear.

For whatever reason I decide I have no choice but to do things my mom's way now. The least I can do is try to mitigate the danger so she doesn't get attacked... But this is probably a bad move. I head outside and my mom is scaring the bear towards the fence and towards me. I'm worried it will feel cornered. I backtrack a little and grab a bag of cat treats as it's the only thing I can get to quickly. I manage to get the bear's attention with the food, tossing a handful of treats on the ground in front of it to distract it. My mom comes up behind the bear with the ointment. The bear finishes the treats very quickly so I keep having to scramble to get handful after handful ready. I'm worried about the gaps of time where the bear might get aggressive. "When I say stop, stop until I can get more treats." I tell my mom, convinced the bear needs to be distracted with the process eating to not notice her. It's a dubious plan to begin with but I'm clinging to it.

My mom is applying the ointment to the bear, but I'm struggling to get the next set of treats out of the bag. The bear is slowly starting to look up. "Stop." I say. My mom does not stop. The bear looks directly at me with dark black eyes. "Stop, stop." I say again. Still no response from my mom. I imagine I can see impatience developing in the bear's expression, although it's hard to tell. "STOP!" I'm trying not to be too loud, but I'm starting to panic. I finally get the last of the treats out of the bag and toss them on the ground.

"Done!" My mom exclaims cheerfully.

"Mom, get inside, quick." I say anxiously. I make sure she makes it inside while the bear's still eating, then I go in myself and close the screen door first. Why am I bothering to close the screen door first? It's not going to stop a bear and I'm wasting time... I think and close the sliding glass door as quickly as I can. I can see the bear standing in the yard, eyeing the bag in my hand as if annoyed there are no more freebies.

***

Monday Night, 11/23/20

I'm in a building I don't recognize. My dad is there and says something very mean to me, although I can't remember exactly what it was or why it happened. Rather than feeling hurt or scared, I suddenly feel a deep anger come up as the full implication of the words sink in. "I am not stupid." I yell powerfully. My dad disappears but I yell it again. It seems to be irrelevant that no one is around anymore. I can see out a window onto the unfamiliar street outside. It's night time and raining a little. I still feel the anger, like a raw energy. I open my mouth and a bear's roar comes out, a guttural rumbling. I stop, confused at the ability to make such a sound and feeling self conscious, thinking people will think I'm weak for being too emotional and sounding ridiculous. Then I decide I don't care, even if anyone was around to hear. Twice more, I let out the bear's roar which resolves into a more human sounding scream. The dream fades.

Where to begin and where to end? To start with recall or with my thoughts first? I don't know I'll just let my fingers do the talking and it'll all finish before I know it.

5

Recall

Had brief moments of lucid today and yesterday. It wasn't interesting really. Just the same thing of myself gaining awareness before all dissipating.So I didn't really write it down yesterday. Nor the dream yesterday or the day before since it wasn't that interesting but the message it was trying to convey was rather clear though. So I should probably at leastmake a short summary and the meaning behind it today.

4

Dreams
right or left

yesterday & in between day before missed dreams-
I was inside a school. A sort of a friendly tournament. I joined the team to the right first, they didn't like the wayI wanted to do things. And the results were lackluster. But the one to the left, they embraced who I was and we did magnificently. What happened also was that they l.et me do things my way while also complimenting it withtheir expertise.

-perhaps the message is to do what you like, but also do it in a way that's effective. Also to surround yourself with those who are supportive.

4

Jack clothes
I wasinside a house. It felt like a familiar old apartment. But it was a house, just structure was similar to an old apartment in BC. In the room to the right was Jack and we tried on clothes. His uncle arrived in the middle. Andthe last event was us playing Nintendo. Just a summary of the overall events.
...
3

today's

Fishing pole and Elves

I was inside a sort of an adventure, a vr adventure gamewas what it felt like. 4-5 location segments. I was on a solo adventure, in a fantasy setting land with trees and what not. The starting point was some sort of white building for newbies. I ventured into the greenery and eventuallyfound myself a wire that connected to another land. I forget what the process is called, where you glide across a rope or wire with something... I think it starts with R? But the rope/wire from where I was is connected toanother land, most of these lands were floating. I went from land 1 to land 2. Met some old friend, they were venturing in a group. The theme of this game/atomsphere had a bit of a pokemon like feel to it. It was defeatingmonsters and sorts maybe no collecting of monsters like pokemon but something about it gave me that vibe. Maybe those monster hunter games are more accurate and related to this experience.

5

I went onforawrd and ventured deeper. I slid across another one of those ropes into the third part of the lands. There were groups of people just standing, clamouring about. Since this was a new thing not much people knwe about it.And everyone was trying to figure out what the next event was. I notice a familiar group passing me. I'd gotten ehre before they did I suppose. And There was some building there. I forget now what it was.... EvenvtuallyI tarvelled south. Or it felt like south. To another land.

4

This one had a mall. It looked like a strip mall on the inside as I was checking out the first floor. The game had PVP aspect to it and I wanteda weapon that was discreet. I was looking through stores and the first one was selling jackets, maybe knives. I asked the shopkeeper who was a skinny man, if he knew where I could get some discreet weapons? He directed meto a shop at the back and I proceeded to enter it. Actually it was just a kiosk. But the man recommended me an item after I'd asked for what I wanted. He just simply said fishing pole. And handed me a long fishing pole.It was a discreet weapon according to him and it could extend or you could shorten it as you liked. I forget if I bought it or not.

4

I leave the shop and find a room with elevators. It looked likea lobby room of a nice hotel sort of, probably a bit bigger. I entered it and I was directed by someone there. I think it was a middle aged woman who was like a manager there. She led me to an elevator and I entered it. Ittook me to a floor way up there. I feel like it was the 45th floor or something. It was a small village by the forest. Or the very outskirts of the village. Monsters or something. The room gave me some sort of power so I coulddefeat it. And after that, I went back down. The manager below told me that each person only gets 1. It was almost like a power-up or wish granting service where each person would only get to use once.

5

ButI wanted more of it. In my backpack I had an item. I knew what I wanted to do and I used it. It was like a scroll or something. But before that I was talking to someone hanging nearby. It was a young man, he also worked therebut he wasn't as strict as the manager there. But I forget what I spoke to him about, only that he was pretty chill. But I went on to become invisible and snuck past the manager. She had behind her a group of little children,looked like kindergarten. I looked and followed her a bit. It was a room beside the elevator and almost like a daycare for the kids. I looked through one of the picture books there, checked out what they were doing and left.Back toe the elevator.

4

This part's unclear. But I went up again. I remember that the room I ended up in was dark and red... it was in indoor room, unlike the one before where I'd ended up inan open environment outdoors. Narrow and stuff. Demons? I think I got what I wanted and went back down to the lobby.

4

I looked more closely at the people working there. I think I spoke with the man frombefore, or one of the higher ups working there. Maybe it was related to the room previous. These people were elves. Ah yes, the person I'm speaking to was an elder elf. He had white hair and a narrow beard and he was prettyskinny and short. He told me that they were running out of the source of their magic. Something like this area near this mall was once where they had a source of a spring, a source of magic that kept them the way they were.Like their life source? But with magic. They were running low on that and had to make a deal with the demons. The demons would give them, feed them magic, in exchange for the elves' labor and their permission to builda mall here. And that was likely what I saw the second time I went up the elevator.

4

But I knew. My dream sense told me what was up. That the demons had artificially created a lack. They were reducingthe magic source somehow so less was coming out. Then they had made a deal with the elves after. It wasn't real. There was no lack of magic. The demons had both secured the source of the magic, and enslaved the elves.Their plan had worked.

5


Lucidity Practice

I'm getting better definitely. But the process is all so hard to explain. Actually that's just an opinion, not a fact. So just type it away and it'll make sense eventually as you sharpen your skillof pondering by the means of words.

4

Overall, I'm becoming better when I practice. In exception to the one where I'm trying to do it too often. This likely tells me that overdoing things doesn'treally help. While the activity that I didn't put as much practice, I had improved dramatically. I think it had more to do with attitude. As long as you can put your all in it and do your best, that's how the bestimprovement are made. Were I to do something, simply as a chore there would be no significant improvement. Do it, and do it well. If you don't feel up to it, don't to it or just pep yourself up somehow. Eat something,meditate, or whatever. If you still don't feel up to it, that just means you need a break from it. But if you do really feel up to it, do it as much as you like.

5

I've noticed. That it'seasier to... find the - use the beginning and the end. What I mean by that is to anchor awareness in the beginning of an event and it's completion. That is easier, and more reliable than to try to maintain the awarenessat all times. The beginning and end, use it as a reminder to get lucid once again. Then add to it once you reach a certain proficiency of that. Like the starting of an activity, like cooking. You aim to first get aware inthe beginning and the end. And then you improve on that by compartmentalizing each small task of peeling, cutting, cooking.. etc and try to gain awareness on the beginning and the end of each of the mini tasks. It's notthat you are trying to gain awareness; but rather they are reminder and anchors incase you lost lucidity. So you may stay aware throughout the whole of the action or not. But these things can serve as a reminder.

5

Andthat got me to... think? In the case of activities that are filled with actions, or many processes you can gain increase awareness that way. But what of things you do that has not many things to do? Then it made me realize...that thoughts and feelings - postivie or negative can be a good friend in this regard.

3

It reminded me of something that Mr. Yongey Rinpoche had said. He spoke of the time when he was a child andhow meditating made his anxiety disappear and eventually he missed it. But in this case I suppose every thougght and emotion I had can serve as an anchor or reminder to become lucid once more if I'm lacking physical anchors.

5

Doesany of that make sense? I don't know. It makes sense to me but probably not for a lot of people. So I should use analogies or metaphors more often probably.

5

But what if my thoughts and emotionsdisappear from meditating? And if my sensations become number and then what do I focus upon? Is that the meaning of - the teaching - the very idea of dream(sleep) yoga? To find out what - how you would maintain awareness insleep, or even bardo of which they speak.

How would I, in the nothingness be lucidity I seek?

5

Total DJ awakes score
83/190
43.7%

11/27/20

I am with mark weins
He is a swinger with some norwegians
He wears pink lace underwear

2069
I am on a layover in texas, Ben asks if we can hang out before my next flight, I agree.
He picks me up and we drive back to his parents house without notice.
When we get to his house he gives me a small black electronic device I do not recognize. It kind of looks like a small digital camera with a display on the back and buttons on top but I don't know how to turn it on.

The house is incredibly large with hundreds of rooms and a grand foyer which has been extensively decorated for Christmas. Multiple floors overlook the entrance room with many hallways coming from various directions. It is reminiscent of the house from Home Alone only it is cartoonishly large.

I gather that this is mostly Ben's family and extended family. Only there are almost a hundred people scattered about running their own unique intentions saying goodbyes and everyone seems to be in a hurry. I gather that the adults are dropping off their kids of various ages and they are all going on some adult outing together.

I do not recognize anyone, everyone is quite comfortable and I get the impression this is a yearly occurrence for everyone involved. The kids all form their own little friendship groups as if they were being dropped at summer camp. No one recognizes me and I don't even see his parents anywhere.

I was traveling and forgot what time I needed to be back at the airport. I do not have my ticket but remember I had a picture of it on my phone. Looking at the time I realized my layover was only 45 minutes and I have been in this house much longer than that. I was somewhat anxious but am now resigned to the realization I have missed my flight and now am only looking for Ben.

Walking up stairs and checking hallways I decide to start walking into rooms, they are all different shapes with different groups of people in them having their own little social gatherings. I lean against a large papasan chair that has a smooth leather jacket hanging on the side. As soon as I do a smug looking short haired blonde teenager appears and immediately starts chastising me for wrinkling his perfectly smooth leather jacket. He points to me as I am wearing my members only jacket and insults me saying I wouldn't care because I'm already wearing a wrinkled leather jacket. I'm inclined to agree. I move along.

I understand that there are going to be 50+ people all staying in this house in various rooms scattered all about. Only the adults were leaving one by one couple by couple out the grand entrance, assuming they are all congregating in front of the house for their adventure. I do not know where they are going but they are all excited to leave their kids and the kids are apathetic/happy to be with their friends.

I cannot find Ben anywhere, like no where no where. Always new rooms new couches new arrangements of kids of all ages 18-5 having their own little gatherings scattered about. I wander around for almost an hour looking for him to no avail.

Things are starting to not make sense as I don't recognize technology or even the styles of most people. It occurs to me I may be out of my time. I ask some kids what year it is and they are just laughing at me thinking I am kidding. That there is no way someone doesn't know what year it is at Christmas time. Finally someone says it's the year 2069. I am somewhat flabbergasted. I have no idea how I have slipped out of my time again. But I am welcome to the adventure.

There are still some adults here and there saying goodbye to their kids. I notice a somewhat concerned couple saying goodbye to their children and assuring each other that everything will be fine and they will be back in no time. They are dressed somewhat bohemian and I feel a comradery with their style. Most of the parents are ritzy and done up like they are at a formal Christmas party, like upper class glitzy styles and too many conflicting expensive perfumes.

I see an older gentleman come out of a door to the grande entrance and I think at first it is Ben's father. Only his face looks like Caesar. I extend my hand and tell him it's good to see him again and it's been too long. He doesn't know who I am but shakes my hand anyway. I wonder if my hand is dry or sweaty from the hurried walking around this expansive house.

I finally see Ben up some stairs walking a girl with mocha skin up more stairs and to his loft getaway. I gather he has been avoiding everyone and I am somewhat frustrated I have missed my flight and have been wandering around for the better part of an hour in another time, confused as hell. His loft has a large balcony overlooking the city below. It is a cartoonishly large futuristic and detailed city, with purples and greens and blues and yellow hues to the buildings. I now definitely know I am out of my time.

I am standing on the rail looking out to the view just taking it all in when he approaches me to my side and stands by the rail next to me. He asks if I've ever seen anything like it before. I say yes, it's exactly like the city I saw in my dreams a couple nights ago. He is taken aback but not entirely surprised. There is a girl sitting on cushions behind us who is the girl he was leading up here. She is confused at our conversation. I remember that he left me in the beginning so I start into some great tirade exclaiming my frustration with him. I take off my jacket and I have no clothes on underneath. I have no shame but I am yelling at him that I have been lost, and out of place, and I have no clothes, and I missed my flight, and I have no idea how I got to 2069. The girl with him is bashful at my appearance and several people walk by gawking while I am going on my monologue. I am unphased in noticing them as I am always comfortable nude. He assures me he can get me to Denver quickly. I look off the balcony, there are multi hot air balloons in various shapes and colours, I joking say Oh you're gonna fly us there in a balloon!? He smiles knowingly and responds that if I had left with his dad we could fly the blimp.
'Noah?' I hear, and I am awake.