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I am in a building with multiple levels and corridors and am attempting to reach a room in the corner of the top floor. I become aware that I'm dreaming, and understand that I can simply fly through all of the walls, toward the room. I begin flying through the walls, but the dream becomes blurry and I realize I'm risking losing it's stability and my lucidity. I stop for a moment and think back to a dream goal. I ask the dream: "what is a source of my happiness?". The face of a younger boy appears in the dream with a small smile and says "Dragons". The dream fades right after.

18th May 2021

Fragment:

Contextually I'm in some kind of alternate reality. In a basement or garage of some kind? But there's a feeling it's older. The ceiling is concrete and orderly and only slightly taller than I am. The ground is uneven and natural in some sense. It's dark. My dog is here with me at some point, but I'm distracted by something else?

I was previously outside. A red-ish place, sandstone like. Reminds me now of stereotypical Mars depictions. It's sandy and the sky is a desaturated colour. I remember several interactions with dream characters, but only so vaguely. A man? Something about not belonging here perhaps.

Notes:

- I remember that last night I tried to think about several things relating to dreaming. I tried thinking about the lucid dreaming party that I never managed to successfully incubate, I thought about Occipitalred's thoughts on dream awareness in a traditional "non-lucid" state. I remember thinking about lucidity in general but I eventually became mentally distracted, lost focus, falling asleep at some point.

- Something about the outdoors place reminds me of Tomb Raider III level design, but only in very vague semblance.

17th May 2021

Fragment:

In a square or plaza, a place like L? Some kind of family gathering, we're right in the middle of the place. Some fuss is made about something (probably trivial) and L is there and maybe my cousin T. A throw is about to be put over the ground but as it is pulled out of whatever it was in, a pink skin-toned adult toy is dragged out along too. The toy bounces around unrealistically, somewhat out of control and taking a while to stop, with nobody being able to catch it. Even though it's not mine, I feel embarrassment over this since we're in such a public space. I feel this way because there are bystanders and I'm afraid of being judged by association?

Later, I'm with my sibling T in a lava area. It's implied to be UT2k4 and we can do the dodge moves like in the game. We need them too, so we can cross a lava gap as we travel through the inside of a hollowed out tree trunk, which is all carbonised. I think to myself about it being lucky that the person who made the level didn't know how to do terrain properly, because it meant that there were very flat bits, making it easy to get across safely. I remember noticing and briefly inspecting the terrain tessellation.

Notes:

- I'd recently been making a level on UT2k4's editor but I stopped working on it kind of abruptly even though I didn't consciously want to. I seemed to have stopped after remembering and feeling sad that nobody will ever play my maps, since the game is mostly dead and obscure now.
-- In that map, I finally learned how to do terrain, which is a large feature for the map.

- The lava place was atmospherically volcanic, but I don't recall any smells or ambience sounds.

- Thinking about the fact that I was only with T in the second part... We used to do a lot of things together and in the dream, I think as a person it seemed like he was more like when we were younger.

- My family never shares anything about our sex lives or anything relating to that part of life. I have always felt there's an awkward silence to all of it. The spontaneous, silly and uncontrolled situation with the toy in the dream, I think it reflects part of this.
-- On the other hand, on the few occasions I've spoken to my parents about such things I ended up feeling embarrassment, probably because it was never normalised as a topic of conversation.

I'm with a group of about 4 people in my age. We walk over a glacier to a house. We enter the house and close the door. The door has a window on it and a curtain covering it. We see a shadow outside of someone who is patrolling. I don't want to look because then the person might see me. A girl in our squad goes to the window and looks out and sees the man. We are talking about our plan and how we should proceed. Everyone have a laser pointer each but it's only purpose is to log out. I use it and try it out but nothing happens. We enter the next room and it has a lot of windows with white transparent curtains with painted flowers on them. There are a lot of guards walking outside and I tell the others that I am going to log out. I use the laser and I'm able to leave (I am teleported to a new location and walking the street with a woman about 40 years old). She blames me for leaving the girl behind in the quest before. There are lots of emotions and one of us is lying on the street and cries (new fragment). I'm looking in third person view and there are a lot of chairs. There are two prominent people there. A thin woman and a very fat man. There are many other people who are supporting the fat man behind him. The woman and the man are not good friends but they are married. The woman have blonde hair and a child next to her with blue long hair. The fat man confronts her and asks how the boy got blue hair. She says that she doesn't know. He asks if she has any butlers at home and the child says that there are a bunch of them. A butler with blue hair comes behind them and the fat man says that the child and the butler are very similar. She seems surprised and says that they indeed do. The man says that she cheated on him with the butler and the child is crying in the woman's knee (new place). My vision is in a big old house with wooden furniture. The fat man is lying in his bed and his mom, a small elderly woman with grey hair, is walking around the bed and screams on him. She tells him that he is worthless and that he made his wife cheat on him because he is so ugly and only read books all the day. The mom throws a glass clock on his face and it shatters. I think that the woman should be more careful with her son (new scene. I am now the divorced woman walking outside). I'm devestaded and walking out from the house. I take my hands around my throat and try to strangle myself. I become semi lucid and try to trigger a FA in my bedroom by closing my eyes and keep on strangling myself. I wake up in my bed and know it's a dream. I try to get up from my bed but I lose my balance. My vision is really limited and I try to stabilize the dream. I am able to walk to the window. I take my hands and cover my eyes. I see through my hands which raises my lucidity. I open the window and fly out. I have amazing speed and accidentaly crash into a window and keep on crashing through all the different flats. I see the room from an old nightmare which scares me and I lose some lucidity. I accidentaly crash through the appartement house's wall and steer to the left. I fly back to my house and see a couple sitting on a stone bench talking to each other. I feel strong because I just flew really good. I try to lift the girl but I am actually really weak and can't lift her. Suddenly a giant runs past us. He holds in a big tree club but is dressed in a modern American school uniform with a senior jacket that has a big white capital letter on the chest.

Notes: The nightmare came from this dream. The house I crashed into was the same in both dreams. https://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/jak...-ladies-91402/.

No Jamie dreams... (maybe 1) Can't tell... I Think These kind of dreams are going away

Killer

Was in some fat guy's living room with a kitchen right next to it. He was saying he was going to tie me up. I asked something forget what. He said he was going to kill me. I found a sharp thing witha long pole and stabbed him in the gut. He looked really surprised like, "That wasn't supposed to happen." And I started beating him on the head with something, to make sure he was gonna die.