Recent DJ Posts

17th May 2021

Fragment:

In a square or plaza, a place like L? Some kind of family gathering, we're right in the middle of the place. Some fuss is made about something (probably trivial) and L is there and maybe my cousin T. A throw is about to be put over the ground but as it is pulled out of whatever it was in, a pink skin-toned adult toy is dragged out along too. The toy bounces around unrealistically, somewhat out of control and taking a while to stop, with nobody being able to catch it. Even though it's not mine, I feel embarrassment over this since we're in such a public space. I feel this way because there are bystanders and I'm afraid of being judged by association?

Later, I'm with my sibling T in a lava area. It's implied to be UT2k4 and we can do the dodge moves like in the game. We need them too, so we can cross a lava gap as we travel through the inside of a hollowed out tree trunk, which is all carbonised. I think to myself about it being lucky that the person who made the level didn't know how to do terrain properly, because it meant that there were very flat bits, making it easy to get across safely. I remember noticing and briefly inspecting the terrain tessellation.

Notes:

- I'd recently been making a level on UT2k4's editor but I stopped working on it kind of abruptly even though I didn't consciously want to. I seemed to have stopped after remembering and feeling sad that nobody will ever play my maps, since the game is mostly dead and obscure now.
-- In that map, I finally learned how to do terrain, which is a large feature for the map.

- The lava place was atmospherically volcanic, but I don't recall any smells or ambience sounds.

- Thinking about the fact that I was only with T in the second part... We used to do a lot of things together and in the dream, I think as a person it seemed like he was more like when we were younger.

- My family never shares anything about our sex lives or anything relating to that part of life. I have always felt there's an awkward silence to all of it. The spontaneous, silly and uncontrolled situation with the toy in the dream, I think it reflects part of this.
-- On the other hand, on the few occasions I've spoken to my parents about such things I ended up feeling embarrassment, probably because it was never normalised as a topic of conversation.

I had a dream last night that was set at my junior high school where I think I was in junior high.

It is the end of the school day and I am waiting for my carpool ride to come and pick me up but I don’t see the car I am expecting anywhere in the line of cars. Soon a fat girl with really long brown hair is coming towards me. She says she has been looking all over for me and reminds me that today is the day her little sister has brownie scouts and her mom is already here.

We walk towards a sport field where a bunch of girls in brownie scout uniforms are playing different games. She walks up to a really big leady who also has dark hair and tell her she has found me and then asks for the keys. The woman who I figure is her mother hands her the keys and then she leads me into the parking lot and then toward a really big 1980’s general motors station wagon that is white with wood trim. When we get to the passenger side door, she unlocks it and tells me we are both riding up front and that I am sitting in the middle as she points to the dark brown bench seat.

After I get in, she tells me she needs to take the keys back to her mom and then leaves me in the station wagon by myself. While I am waiting alone in the old station wagon, I notice something really stinks but figure it is just the station wagon since it is old and the interior is dirty.

Soon I see the fat girl walking back towards the station wagon. When she gets to the passenger side door, she opens it up and then tells me that I need to go ahead and buckle-up because her mom expects everyone to put their seatbelt on as soon as they get in the car. She then sits down in the passenger seat to my right, buckles her seatbelt, and then closes the passenger side door.

When then spend a long time waiting in the station wagon wile her sister and her friends are still running around on the field. It is not very comfortable waiting with her. Even though the station wagon is really big, the girl is fat and her fat body is pressing up against me.

Eventually, I see her mom leading 5 girls in their brownie uniforms towards to station wagon. One of the girls is chubby and has dark hair and I figure that is the little sister of the girl sitting beside me. When they get to the station wagon, the mom opens the back door and the fat sister and two of her friends sit down there and then she opens the back gate and the other two girls sit down in the jump seat in the way back. The mom reminds everyone to buckle-up and then closes the tail gate and back door and then goes to talk to another mother who is already in the driver seat of a minivan filled with brownie scouts.

While she is talking to her friend, all of the little girls start singing songs they had learned that day and the fat girl beside me then joins in with them. I cannot decide if is it worse having to be pressed up against the fat girl or having to listen to all of then sing annoying songs.

While we are still waiting for the mother to get in, one of the girls in the backseat notices something smells after they have finished another really annoying song. The 5 girls in the back seat and way back all talk about the smell and decide it is me since I am the only boy in the car and boys smell. They all then start singing the jingle bells song saying that I smell. The fat girl sitting to my right starts laughing when they sing it and eventually starts singing it with them. I try to tell them that it isn’t me, that it smelled when I got in but they keep singing the song and getting on my nerves.

Finally, I hear the minivan start-up and then move forward out of the parking space. I then see the big woman go over and check on two brownie scouts who are still waiting for their ride and then stays with them until someone comes to pick them up and talks with the driver of the car for a few minutes. When the car drives away, she is finally walking towards the station wagon we are all waiting in. The five girls in the back are now getting on my nerves doing who stole the cookies from the cookie jar and getting on my nerves even more when one of them says I stole the cookies and I have to join in.

When she gets to the driver side of the station wagon, she opens the driver side door and then plops down in the driver seat to my left. I have to move my body closer to her daughter so she can have enough room to get in. When she closes her door, I am squished between the fat mother and daughter. Both of them are pressed-up against me and I have no personal space because they are both fat. The mother talks to all the girls to decide the order for dropping everyone off and I am about to die when she talks because her breath is really bad and my nose is right by her. I know that regardless of the order she drops everyone off, I will be stuck in the middle of the front seat between then until the very end since they live across the street from me.

When I am about at my wits end having the fat woman talk to the girls and breath in my face, she finally puts the keys in the ignition. At first the station wagon doesn’t want to start, but after spending a few minutes pumping the accelerator and turning the key the fat woman gets it started and we pull out of the parking lot. There is a New Kids tape playing in the tape deck and the fat girl sitting next to me and the 5 girls in the back all sing along with the tape while I ride in misery and really wish I had a Walkman so I can tune them all out.

After a couple of songs, we are at the end of the tape. The 5 girls in the back start singing another brownie song with the fat woman who is driving while the fat girl in the passenger seat leans forward and looks though the glove box for a new tape to put in the tap deck. As she is in front of me taking the New Kids tape out of the tap deck, I see her pause and sniff and then look down at my feet on the floorboard. She then loudly tells everyone that I have stepped in doggie doo. The five girls in the back immediately stop singing and start saying different rhymes about me stepping in doodoo and then start singing the jingle bells song again while I just want out of the car. When we get to a stop light, the fat woman sitting next to me gets in my face and starts getting after me for not being more careful watching where is was stepping and for getting doggie doo in her car while her nasty breath is torturing my noise.

When the light finally turns green, the station wagon stalls out and the fat lady keeps turning the key and pumping on the accelerator but cannot get the car to stay running. I woke up from the dream while she was trying to get it started a people behind us were honking because the light was green but she wasn’t moving.

Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary written while awake]

I'm in the office building complex north of Disneyland. I'm there to be cast in a show or parade there. [I don't specifically remember becoming lucid, but I do remember being lucid.] I'm floating around up by the ceiling, which is a high ceiling, when the casting director walks into the room below me. When I see her enter, I float down so I can talk to her. "Hi," I say while descending. She says I've been cast in [whatever show or parade it was], and to go and change into my costume for the show. I head out of the building to do so.

Outside the building, I stand on a stretch of grass that ends at the top of a concrete block wall, about twelve feet high, at the bottom of which is a sidewalk. I need to get down onto the sidewalk to get back to my car. I know I can do a controlled fall, so I do. I jump off the top of the wall, control my descent speed, and land easily on the sidewalk.

When I get back to my car, I realize I don't have any underclothes with me, and I can't be in the performance without any. I realize I'll have to go to a Walmart or Target and buy new ones, but I don't even know where there is one around here. I decide to set off and go looking for one.

I'm at a freeway onramp, on my bicycle, still on my way to find the nearest Target or Walmart. [Why am I on my bicycle and not in my car? I dunno.] The onramp runs next to a high, tan-colored wall. On this wall, about a quarter to a third of the way down the ramp, there is a traffic sign that reads "NO BICYCLES ON FREEWAY." I start bicycling down the ramp, but when I get to the sign, I read it, sigh, and say, "All right, fine. This is me, not riding my bicycle on the freeway." I get off my bike, turn around, walk it back up the onramp, and start looking for another route that doesn't involve taking the freeway.

1) In a way I do not understand very well know there is a person (I think it is a young woman) who is misbehaving in the future, I think it is committing a crime. This person has made a journey from the present to a time far in the future. She has used the information he has now to make the crime in the future. But I want to keep the crime is committed, I alert the police of time and give them the necessary information to take action. They detain the person and crime is prevented.

2) I'm in the garden of my house with my wife. I see her sister has a visit. I do not want to have to greet anyone and decide to go back inside the house. I decide that I have to go to the bathroom which is next to our bedroom, but no walls and I am in full view of anyone who passes by... At that time my wife appears with her sister and her visit. I feel very uncomfortable and ask them to leave, but they ignored me and start talking.

Fragment

1) I've been partying with a group of people with a cousin of mine who had not seen for a long time. At the end of the party my cousin is drunk and I find that he has lost me a guitar that was mine and was very special for me.

I'm in a machine shop. It's pretty large, it has an office area and large dividers with Plexiglas windows. I'm going to head off to the main hall but I have to use the bathroom. As I go to the toilet bowl I see that the divider in front of me is really low and I can see right over it but more importantly people can see me taking a whizz. I see a woman who works at the office looking at me in a strange way and I duck down try to pee in a weird crunched up ball with my back bent

#425 - DILD - 7:14AM

After the last LD I try meditating again, but fall asleep.

I am in some restaurant and there is food and trash all over the carpet. Someone tells me to get in uniform and help clean. I take a snapchat of the mess. I am in uniform and I walk into another part to see how I can help, but I see things are mostly managed now. I pass what I think is a manager. I try covering the company emblem on my shirt as I pass. I feel stupid for putting the uniform on and wish I could change.

I realize that I am on a cruise ship and I look for my sister Angie who is always going on cruises. I step outside on to the deck and look around. The ship is massive and looks like a small town. I see the water beyond and get vertigo as I realize were actually moving. I say to my wife, "You really do forget that you're on a boat." We all move toward the very tip of the bow and watch the water. We are coming into a bay area with high cliffs. There is what looks like a hill in the water and is mostly wet sand. We somehow power up it and I see water trying to flood the stern. As we level out, I see everyone has come outside. They all start cheering and clapping. The ship starts to dock, but bumps into something. I think of the Titanic and worry. A jet of water pushes the ship sideways and a voice says something about trying again. Then, I see a large rusted steel bar in front of the ship. Something like a dinosaur neck and head extends from someplace behind me. It latches on the bar and chews on it. It acts to stabilize and dock the ship. A voice says something about the dinosaur sharpening it's teeth this way, but it leaves a black residue. The dino turns and shows us its grayish, nubby teeth.

I am now laying on the floor next to some other guys in football uniforms paired with cheerleaders in wedding dresses in a pattern. The rest of the team comes in and wonders what's going on. This is a pep rally and we got roped into being apart of the performance. Music starts and we all get up and start some synchronized dancing. Of course, me and half the others have no idea what we are doing and do our best to keep up. The lyrics say, "Dance with me. Dance with me." So me and another cheerleader who looks a lot like Anna Kendrick start slow dancing. I am overly aware of the feel of her close to me, one arm around her waist, and her hand in my other. We are both feeling awkward and stop dancing. We laugh and both admit that we had no idea what we were doing. The song stops and we turn and sit close to each other on the floor. I am glad she stayed next to me. My old high school buddy Jason his on stage with a band. He's saying stuff to get the crowd excited and is generally acting way out of character. I start thinking about how dumb I felt during the dancing and wonder how I even got myself in this situation. I think something about the next time I am in a dream... Wait this IS a dream! I am a little unsure about this thought at first, but it only takes a millisecond to realize it's true. The dream starts crashing so I do the only thing I could think of to stabilize. I turn to the very hot Anna Kendrick look-a-like and resume dancing with her. Of course, this time I am much more confident and our dancing becomes dirty and we grind while I feel her up. This soon turns into sex and the hottie turns into my ex-wife. I lose my arousal and wonder, WHY? OH GOD WHY? I then realize it's a part of my past and just a memory. I appreciate it for what it is and the good times we once had. I let the scene play it self out without taking control or making decisions. I wake up.

This lucid is from the morning of October 17th.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #246: Gimme Three

Wife and I are walking through a slightly crowded, nondescript room, being rapidly introduced to people. Some guy introduces me to his son, who looks like to be about 5 years old. “Gimme five, buddy!” I say, holding out my hand. But when I look down at my hand, I see that the pinky and ring fingers of my right hand are completely missing. I laugh, aware that I’m dreaming.

Most of the people in the room look sort of frozen now, so I walk out through the door to the top of a gently sloping wheelchair ramp. This young guy with cool hair is standing here flirting with two attractive young women. I want their help, and as I remember my goal to summon Dreamer, the three of them stop what they’re doing and turn to look at me.

I point down the wheelchair ramp, saying, “Is Dreamer right over there?” The guy nods, pointing just down the ramp at a woman who’s leaning against the wall. I approach her, and see that she’s in her early 30s, with short,very dark hair. She’s attractive but wears a pinched, almost grim expression on her face.

I just don’t feel like this is Dreamer. I say, “I’m going to keep looking,” and reach up to pat the woman on the shoulder. Somehow I completely miss and accidentally pat her twice on the left breast. I cringe with embarrassment and she mirrors my expression, but otherwise doesn’t react. “Sorry, not what I meant to do!” I say before hurrying down the ramp into an arcade.

I see a small group of young women playing skee-ball nearby and a little to the right, a couple more women in their 20s playing some kind of game where you skate back and forth along the floor. They look like they’re having a great time! It looks like a fun thing to join in on, but I’m also really eager to perform the Task of the Month (where you play an instrument that does not exist in waking life.)

There’s a low stone wall here, painted white. I try to show off a little dream control and take a big bite out of it, but the taste is dull and chalky. Suddenly, a set of double doors opens to my left, revealing a long hallway. I run toward it then just for some laughs I bellyflop onto the floor and slide the length of the hallway on my tummy.

At the end of the hall, I open another set of double doors that leads me into a large cafeteria-like room that’s filled with DCs. I don’t make my way very far into there before the dream ends.

Two lines of people trailed off through the entrance doors. Thankfully I had made it to the front where the cook prepared my plate. Oddly, my hashbrowns were served in a small rectangular tin, typically used for baking corn bread. The cook no more than placed the tin on my plate when my “hashbrown loaf” toppled over and landed in a steaming mess on the floor.

In full view of a gawking audience, I approached the cook and signaled for another order of potatoes. The cook looked at me like I purposefully maneuvered my plate in an unsafe manner, whereby forcing his precious spud cargo to take a mortal cliff dive. Once again, he replenished my plate with the same precariously packaged hashbrowns, and once again, they fell headlong onto the floor.

I made one final appeal to the cook, whereas he verbally smote my already bruised ego, saying, “Most people would have given up and walked away by now.”

I had a brief conversation with the restaurant owner, who was busy preparing loaves of bread in what looked to me like a wood chipper.

The next thing I remember was looking at a computer screen with groups of words and concepts clumped together. Each grouping were obvious contradictions, such as “bacon & eggs” might have been lumped together with “turpentine”. The obvious meaning of this was a premise I would like to consider further in my waking life: Don’t try to synthesize seeming contradictions in your life. Rather, hold each mutually exclusive notion and apply them in their proper place.

In other words, it is of no use to do away with either bacon & eggs or turpentine, but rather, employ them as they are relevant in your life. An applicable example would be pro-choice vs. pro-life. Rather than trying to synthesize the two concepts, which would be ludicrous, or attempting to eliminate one in favor of the other once and for all time, it is better to choose each according to context.

After jotting down my hashbrown tragedy (or comedy), I went back to sleep. The following sequence occurred after 3am.

I’m sitting in the front passenger side of a car with some other occupants. From my right side, I see a familiar face, a sportscaster in waking life. But in my dream he was a badass cop who plays by his own rules, a cross between Magnum P.I. and Caine from Kung Fu. He is talking to a group of thugs. I hear one of the them threatening to use a gun. Magnum Caine laughs and pulls out a Smith & Wesson military revolver with a two-inch barrel. I catch a glimpse of a cylinder full of bullets as he gives it a spin, flips the gun in his hand, and catches it by the barrel, handing it to the gang leader.

Magnum Caine then inexplicably turns and walks away. The next thing I see is that he is falling to the ground in slow motion. Although I hear no gunfire, he has been shot. As he is dropping to the ground, he is now dropping a boom stand with fuzzy microphone, which is attached to a small sound mixer attached to his belt. My 80s TV hero has just transformed into a media journalist. WTF?

Magnum Caine, my chameleon hero-turned-talking-head, gets up from the ground and limps to the front door to his house and hobbles in. Two bodyguards(?) pull up in an inconspicuous SUV, open the back passenger door, and Magnum Headroom runs from the house into the back seat.

I get a good look at the injured man through the window of the SUV. I ask my friends, “Is that Ben Larken [popular sportscaster in our waking life town]?” A friend answers, “No. That’s his brother.”

Next, I am holding a box about the size of Gump’s box of chocolates. Only it is pristine white and works like a cross between an Etch-O-Sketch and Google. I scribble a simple drawing on the face, turn it over, give it a little shake, and flip it back around to find that my simple shape has turned into a photograph and explanation. For instance, if I drew a triangle, I would shake it to get a Giza pyramid with a descriptive caption.

I drew several things, the last of which was a penis and balls.

The next dream I remember is my fiancé, Teresa, and I were at Kirk’s house. Kirk is an 84-year-old friend of ours in waking life. It was 3 o’clock in the morning, and I was watching some TV before going back to bed. Something interesting would be coming on later in the day, and I wanted to record it. The volume wouldn’t work properly and neither did the recording features. [In waking life, Kirk does not have recording capabilities.]

In my attempts at making the technology on the TV work, I knocked over a pile of garbage on Kirk’s shelf. A sundry of cigarette wrappers and trash dumped all over the top of the TV stand. I was just about to retire to the bedroom when, perhaps from the commotion, Teresa walked in. She went to the kitchen and grabbed a bag of Fritos.

Unraveling the already open bag, she took out a chip. She smelled it, then tasted it, and gave me a satisfied look. Game on. Then Kirk came in. I apologized for the noise and for the mess, and he dismissed it as no problem.

The next thing I remember is riding in my mom’s car with her and my step dad. My older brother, Daniel, was with us as well. We were having a pleasant conversation, when my step dad interrupted, turned to my mom and said, “It just dawned on me that you are partial to Daniel and I because we are conquerors. Healer and Donn [my younger brother] are …” I couldn’t make out the noun he chose to employ, but I have a feeling that it may have been an antonym of conqueror. “Loser” comes to mind.

My mother pulled up to the front entrance to Furr’s Cafeteria. She and my step dad got out and walked in. I deduced that that was my cue to park the car and join them, so I did. Once inside, I went to find a place to sit. Daniel took a seat at a table with three other people having lunch. A fourth plate of food was at Daniel’s place setting, so I assume that the person had gotten up to go to the bathroom. Daniel proceeded to take and eat onion rings off of the plate while chiding the others of the table, telling them to get their food and move to another area.

He gestured, saying, “Look how spread out your party is. Go sit with the rest of your friends.” And they did so, just as my conqueror brother demanded. What a douchebag, I thought. I went and sat with the offended party, and next to me was a baby girl. Across from me sat some kids of different races. They were orphans. I turned to the baby next to me, and we made funny faces at each other.

Fragment, non-lucid:

Me and my friend Kevin (He's a heavy Spurs supporter and he like idolizes Gareth Bale, their star scorer), anyway we were seeing how many pullups we could do and competing with each other and he beat me anyway and I was like ah damn it and then he tagged me in the comment of a Gareth Bale picture and it got like 9 likes or something and I was like ah damn it and everybody was laughing about it.

Bit vague, but that's the best I can remember that fragment.

End of fragment.

Non-lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm at Disneyland, being trained as a Cast Member. I'm with a large group of other trainees, all of whom are wearing costumes and name tags. [The name tags are blue, not white, for some inexplicable reason.] A trainer is taking us through how to operate King Arthur's Carrousel. For training purposes, all the pieces of the carrousel have been taken apart and removed, so there's just a big, wide, brilliant blue, rotating disc built into the ground. It has smaller discs built into it, just like the setup for the Mad Tea Party. We walk across the disc, led by our trainer, who is explaining how everything works. We gather on the north edge of it in a crowd and listen to him talk.

The whole carrousel is back in place, and I think, This is a fifty-year-old attraction, so it deserves respect. It's amazing how well it's working after all this time. There must be just one guy left who is the only one who knows how it all works well enough to repair it.

As part of my training, I go through the queue for the carrousel, which is enclosed, elaborate, and tells a story that appears to be part of, or at least inspired by, Disney's Sleeping Beauty. As I go through, performing my job duties, I find myself on stage as part of a mini-stage show. I'm sitting down, looking out through a window, and when a particular piece of music starts playing, I suddenly realize: You're Belle! Don't forget to sparkle! The song is “Belle,” the opening song from Beauty and the Beast, and I join in the singing. I get all the way through the first verse, and when I get to the end of it, Mulan, who is standing in the audience right next to where I'm sitting at the edge of the stage, says the next line: “Good morning, Belle!” I answer, “Good morning, madame!” ...and then I realize I can't remember what comes next, so I just sort of stop.

[Dreamskip.] I'm walking away from the carrousel, saying to myself: “I didn't sign up to be a princess! I signed up to be in Operations! I don't want to be a princess! I'm no good at it, and I look more like post-haircut Rapunzel than anyone else!” [I do have short hair in real life, but it's lighter than her hair is when it's cut short.]

***************
Side Notes:
I've always had a lot of bizarre dreams about Disneyland, but more so when I was a kid than now. This is the first time I've ever had a dream in which I was a Cast Member.
I know why I had a dream about a carrousel. I had read this article shortly before going to bed. It uses a carrousel as an analogy for the orbit of the sun around the center of the galaxy. Also, the whole “being a princess” theme comes from a fanfic that I have in the works, and the whole “Don't forget to sparkle!” thing is a reference to a thread I've been following on a different discussion forum.

I am sitting on the floor in an old daycare that I used to attend when I was 4 years old. I am about the same age I am now (26) and a girl that I used to be best friends with when I was in junior high, Amanda, is there with me. She is sitting to the right of me. We are both sitting like children sometimes do, with our legs spread out to the sides in a V shape. We both have a giant piece of paper in front of us. My task is to write something about the person I am today. I feel unsure of what to write and I don't want anyone to judge me so I don't write anything. Instead I sit there and rip a piece of the top right hand corner off and play with it for awhile. I look to see if Amanda has written anything and she hasn't either.

The room is laid out exactly how I remember it in real life. The teachers desk is diagonally to the left of me. The back door to go outside to the playground is to my immediate left. The cubby room is right behind me. The bathroom is right behind Amanda. The classroom door that enters from the hallway is on the other side of the room to the right. There are lots of little kids in this classroom and we are way too grown to be in here with them! It seems a little strange to me but I don't think about it too much.

Amanda and I are now in the corner across the room playing around two desks. We seem to have built a 'fort' with our personal belongings, just like little kids often do. We decorated this area with our handbags, sunglasses, shoes and lip glosses.

Pauly D from jersey shore is in the room with us too. He is sitting on the floor near the door in a circle with about 3 other little kids. Next to them sits the teacher on the floor with the rest of the classroom sitting with her. I can feel Amanda's negativity towards me, like always. I pull out my iphone4 and suddenly a loud voice is heard from my phone saying, "annyeonghaseyo". It is my Korean language learning app and I am embarrassed. I quickly try to shut it off and suddenly Pauly D repeats it and then starts singing the entire Korean alphabet to me! I am impressed. He comes over and I ask him where he learned to speak the language. He tells that he works for the night club, "Bleu", and his manager made all of the employees learn to speak it. This excites me. I smile and say, "that's because a lot of Korean people must go there!!!!!"

Amanda starts feeling jealous that Pauly D is paying more attention to me than her so she begins to compete with me for his attention. She leaves me to go play poker with him and the other kids. I want to join but I am a little rusty on my poker skills and I am afraid if I play I will loose and look dumb. I sit behind Amanda and watch. The teacher says something to me but I forget. Amanda is flirting hard with Pauly D and totally ignoring me. I feel like I need to pee so I tell Amanda I am going to put my shoes on before going into the bathroom, because walking into the bathroom without shoes is just nasty. She looks at me with a vague expression and I get up and walk over to the corner where I left my shoes.

On my way I pass the bathroom. I look in and realize their are no doors or curtains, and the toilets are little tiny baby toilets! I decide I'd rather hold it than to be embarrassed by someone walking by and seeing me with my pants down. I put my shoes on and clean up all of my stuff so I don't loose anything. I feel excluded. I hang out in the corner by myself and decide I want to roll myself an ice cream cone. I end up rolling two. I use waffle cone wraps that are soft with vanilla ice cream. Pauly D walks over and asks if he can have one. I give him the 2nd one I rolled which is less pretty than the first. He stands there talking to me and I can feel Amanda getting extremely jealous and upset.

On holiday for a few days with the fam, with pretty shoddy recall apart from this first night, where I remembered two:

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2/4/12

I'm going to a rave, but make a stop at my mate's house [though it looked nothing like it]. Once inside the club, I see various friends, old and new, and begin to get drunk. By the end of the night, I'm dancing with a girl I used to know [but in no way find attractive] but in an old fashioned, no-touching way. Any sudden advances I make are quickly parred away, as if it were the 1940s, so I stay back and skank unnecessarily to the jazz music being played. I'm wearing sunglasses at this point, looking like a complete fool, and it doesn't come as a surprise when I think I hear people laughing at me.

It's nearly the end of the night and I'm getting frustrated by the lack of acknowledgement I've been getting, so I spin the girl round to face me in an attempt to bring her in closer. This doesn't work, and instead I get lightly told off. Conceding, I peck her on the lips and leave the club - but not before someone from my old school walks past me with wearing no underwear.

All my friends have left at his point, and the night is coming to an end. I can't remember any of the night, despite not being that drunk, and I realise my mistake at not finding something to drop. I return to my mate's house, but it's empty. I ring my friends to no avail, so go to bed. Suddenly, one of the friends I tried to ring is in the bed next to mine, and starts talking.

What's really interesting is that the room was the same as the one I was staying in that night (on holiday) and on waking up in the morning, I still believed my friend was in the next bed for at least 2 to 3 minutes. A reverse false awakening of sorts.

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I'm in a kitchen of a flat in my uni accommodation with a friend of mine and several random metalheads. We're eating pizza, but not just ANY pizza, this pizza's musical. Each slice corresponds to a section of the song that's playing in the background, and you're restricted to eating only the corresponding slice when it's played.

When everyone leaves, I begin to flirt with a girl I've never met about cheese. I'd love to know what I said specifically, but whatever it was, she was loving it. I go back to her room briefly, and put her block of cheese on her windowsill [no, that's not a euphemism], still flirting strong.

Once I've left, I walk up some stairs to the main part of uni, past a huge crowd of people returning from a football match. My old head of sixth form begins to give a speech on a stage in the middle of the crowd, which soon gets overrun by students in a flash mob. Almost spontaneously, however, some pick up guitars and begin to play together.

I was at a movie theatre for a valentines day party. The lobby was decorated with hearts and red streamers. I was waiting for. The guy behind the counter to finish helping someone else so I can ask him what theatre a certain movie was playing in. While I was waiting I met up with my dad. Then a girl I've never seem before gestured. I told my dad to wait in line for me and went over.*

We walked to a photo booth covered in hearts. She motioned for me to go in first, so I did. Then before I knew it, she closed the door on me. Then I heard it lock. I didn't try to get out, I just stood there. My heart sank. After a while I pried open the doors and walked past crowds of laughing people to the exit. I was about to go home when I saw an arcade machine outside. It had two spinners shaped like watermelons. I put in a quarter for the heck of it, and won the jackpot.*

This is by far my best-recalled dream since I started over a week ago, and was definitely the most interesting (if slightly disturbing).
---
11/1/12
I am in some European country, probably Italy by the way it feels, with one of my best friends (Luke, an old rugby teammate), my dad, and my former head coach, Kiwi. [Rugby tour perhaps? My dad always used to love coming along and pioneering the drinking games]
The four of us are looking around some sort of touristy ornament shop when another close friend/teammate, Ant, and Luke's dad (also a former coach) walked in. Despite us all being friends, no one says hello to either of them (I didn't recognise them initially) and the atmosphere gets a bit tense.
Luke's dad asks why none of us didn't greet them before Ant looks at Luke with tears in his eyes. I knew instantly that Luke and betrayed him in some way, presumably over a girl. [Incidentally, earlier that waking day the three of us were commenting on a picture of the two of them, in which Ant's goofy grin ruins Luke's serious stare]
We all leave the shop and I discuss the situation with Kiwi as we walk through some ancient-looking ruins.

Later, I'm back in a hotel with my mum, dad and sister, as well as my old head of sixth form from school (who had morphed from Kiwi). A hotel staff member explains to my dad about damage to a note in the cupboard under my bed. He gets the note out and it's two pieces of crumpled lined paper, with what I explain are my shopping lists and one 'to do' list. [I had recently made both those lists at uni, and the bed resembled that of my uni room]
Strangely, my dad tells me not to worry about the 'rerun thing', which makes no sense but I know he's referring to the Ant and Luke situation (not that this makes it any more understandable) and asks me how much he should pay the hotel for the damage to this note. I realise everyone thinks I crumpled it by masturbating on the bed, of which I'm 100% innocent, but I'm too embarrassed to mention it, especially in front of my sister. Instead, I go along with it and tell him to pay £100.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was walking out on a street like in the neighborhood I lived in as a teenager. It was daytime. I was walking along one of the main roads. A lot of cars were zooming by to my left. To my right were the parking lots for shopping centers and gas stations.

There were a surprising number of people out walking on the street. I was in a hurry to get somewhere, and I was impatient with the people around me, as if they were blocking me.

A group of older, Chinese men walked up behind me. They were all speaking in Chinese. One of the men edged up really close to me and then passed me. The man's two or three friends were just about keeping pace with me. But the man himself was blasting ahead.

I thought that it would be weird of me if I let this guy pass me by so much, seeing how I'd been so annoyed at everybody I'd had to pass up just a few moments ago. So I tried to catch up with the man. But I couldn't. He'd already blasted away through some gas station and around a corner.

Now a white woman walked past me. She also passed me quite easily and headed around the corner to the right.

I was feeling pretty bad about myself. I'd thought I was a fast walker. But now people were constantly passing me.

I was now at the corner. I went straight and crossed the street, to a block with an enormous parking lot for a huge shopping center. I walked toward some small mound of lawn bordering the parking lot. I figured I'd just cross over the lawn and go into the parking lot.

But now the woman who'd passed me a couple moments ago was now crossing up and in front of me again, from the right. I thought she must have been waiting just around the corner, trying to get an idea of when I'd be passing, so she could sneak up on me and pass me again.

I was now sitting on an L-shaped couch with a couple of "friends," whom I don't recognize now. One was a woman, maybe in her late teens or early twenties. She sat directly to my right. To the woman's right, possibly on the other edge of the L-shaped couch, or maybe right in the corner, sat a young boy.

The woman and the boy had a backpack between them. The backpack was apparently mine. The woman and boy were joking about some girl who was attracted to me. I wasn't really attracted to her, and my woman "friend" knew it. So she teased me a lot about how much this girl liked me.

The woman now said something about, what if she took my backpack to the girl, so she could really show the girl what I was like? My clothes were in the backpack. And, by what she'd said, the woman meant that she was going to pull my clothes out of the backpack and show them to the girl.

The woman illustrated how she was going to do this by pulling some clothes out of the backpack. But a pair of my underwear, some black boxer briefs, popped right out, before everything else. The underwear had a big glob of semen, still wet, right on the inside and front, just below the waistband.

At first the woman seemed a bit disgusted by this. Then she thought of it only as a reason to tease me even more. She made fun of my personal hygiene, for just throwing a dirty pair of underwear in my backpack. She wondered what the girl who liked me would think of that.

I was now sitting in a car, in the backseat, on the driver's side. It was daytime. My mom sat in the front seat of the car. She seemed to have her seat moved back as far as possible. I felt pretty smashed in the backseat.

But somehow I felt comfortable. I was myself, as an adult. But back here, smashed into the seat, I felt comfortable, like I was a little kid all over again.