lucid

Actually written on 2-17-2014

Forget the pictures. We have Opheila to thank for that.

Anyways, I'm having some dream about sneaking into some base and stealing something. I don't recall much of the dream up until the part where I escaped the base.
I am on this beach area that becomes a desert. There are mountains in the distance. Lia is there and she is what prompts me to reality check. I become lucid. She seems distressed; we're in a rush to get out of here. I see something flying toward us in the distance and hear a thumping sound, like something is walking.
So Jonathan, my dream nemesis comes down on this hovering platform device and deploys all these combat robots.
Now if I were faced with this setup today, I'd probably reduce this small army to a pile of scrap metal relatively quickly. But this was only my 15th or 16th induced lucid dream. And most of my lucid dreams before that had been Layer 1's where I had immediately woken up upon becoming lucid. So I had little practice.
I look over my shoulder. Manei says one word to me.
"Run."
What?! Why are we running?! I'm lucid. We can kick some robot butt! It's just a couple of combat robots! This would have been the coolest dream ever... ugh forget it.

Well we're off and running. Now I don't know if it's like a dream guide thing or something, but should she be able to run at like fifty miles per hour? I can't keep up with her. I didn't know terraskating yet, so I just stuck to my measly sprinting speed.
Afterwards, we end up arriving in this small town about two miles from the base. The dream begins to take more of a positive spin at this point. Lucky for us, you can't get tired from running in a dream. We went into a fenced off pool and I learned how to breathe underwater in a dream. I simply figured that in a dream, if you can breathe through your pinched nose because your nose isn't actually pinched. So you can breathe underwater because you aren't actually underwater.
I got some good manifesting practice in. And met the dream character that I would eventually identify as Marcus. I woke up not long after.

Attached Thumbnails

         

5/7/10 - A Bug's Life Takes Flight
Dream Non-dream Lucid

This dream I had this morning between 8:00 and 9:00. It felt much longer, though.

Two kids, brother and sister, along with their friend Zazu (from The Lion King ) and an iguana, were living in an ant colony. The ants pretty much looked like people, and they had a male ant who was their cheif. The girl - who looked suspiciously like Miranda Cosgrove - had befrended the cheif's daughter and managed to get her brother and animal friends accepted into the colony as well. They all participated in colony events and such.
I figured I was watching a movie but was able to interact with it by moving things around.
At some point, Zazu and his iguana pal decided to go down a river/water ride within the ant hill which led to the outside world. Zazu was used as a boat while the iguana rode atop his head. The river went into a tunnel and then went down a steep drop through a darker tunnel, after which Zazu and the iguana were seperated. Zazu started to panic - "What's happening!? I can't swim!" - as he went through twisting tunnels with haunted house-themed decor. He finally got off the ride and had ended up in a museum, no longer ant size but bird-sized instead. He took a minute to find his iguana friend and they left the museum.
I was then standing in a scene outside the now-tent-sized anthill. The now-human-sized ants were sitting around a fire and definately looked like indians. Suddenly I had a thought. "This is weird. Maybe I'm dreaming," and BOOM! Instant lucidity, if only semi-lucid. I started walking away from the indians/ants when their cheif asked me, "Where are you going?" I didn't want to upset the DC's so I lied and said, "Oh, I was just going to....find some herbs."
The ant people looked suspicious but the cheif let me go anyway. I felt bad about leaving so I pointed at them and said "Pause," making them freeze and promised I'd be back later to continue the dream. Then I walked a little ways away, gave a giant leap into the sky, and flew away using the swimming technique. Sadly, the dream was so unstable that everything went black and I ended up in my bedroom, wearing a jacket and sweats.
I still knew I was dreaming, so I jumped through the ceiling and onto the roof. As I started to fly off my mom stuck her head out a window and called out, "Wait! We have a family gathering in the morning! You have to stay here." I tried to explain that it was all a dream so it didn't matter, and took off. In the air I noticed the dream's instability and tried to make it more vivid by (stupidly) taking off my jacket and sweatpants, so all I was wearing was a shirt and underwear. The dream went black anyway so I was left in darkness, not knowing what to do and trying not to wake up.
I managed to have a false awakening which saved the dream for the moment. I knew I was still dreaming and ran downstairs and out the door. I immediately jumped into the air and prepared to fly away, but everything went black again and I woke up.

Something I noticed was that, even though I knew the sun was up IRL, it was the middle of the night in my dream.
It seems I was pretty desperate to fly away. Dunno why.

4/26/10 - Deletion
Dream Non-dream Lucid

I was in a large white room with no furniture. I was having a conversation with Hannah and Riley about lucid dreaming, and somehow I knew we were all in a dream. I think Jonathan was there, too, but he never said anything.
I remembered that we were supposed to go to the moon. I also knew that Hannah and Riley were merely DC's, and that talking to them too much would hinder my lucidity, so I told them to meet me at the moon later. They said it was cool and left. Mission accomplished... almost.
Next I decided to test my dream control. I noticed two creepy old people in the corner of the room and wished they'd go away, so (using a technique found on DV) I pointed at the old lady and said, "Delete." Nothing happened. I tried again, more forceful this time. "DELETE." Slowly, the old lady faded away. I grinned in triumph and then deleted the old man more easily, but the entire room disappeared too.
Oops.
I was outdoors now, and looked up at the moon. Time to go. It was huge in the sky, and very pretty. I figured a portal would be the fastest way to get there, so I started moving my hands in a sort of circular motion. Nothing happened, no matter how hard I concentrated.
My dad then decided to wake me up. Grr.

Maybe next time I should try using music to make a portal, like how Raven Knight does it.

There were really only two times that I actually received instruction form my dream guide on controlling my dreams. These dreams actually happened several months apart, but for the sake of time, I want to lump them together as they both share a similar premise.

I was in some kind of ice cave type area. There were a number of hooded figures around me. One of them was shorter, thinner, and obviously female. (My dream guide, I would only actually discover that about 20 lucid dreams later.) She was reading from some big ancient looking spell-book.
"To shoot water from one's hand is "Waterspray""
I held up one hand and said "Waterspray" A torrent of water shot out of my hand. The water was drawn from thin air apparently. I also took note that the water seemed to be turning in a vortex like a tornado.
"To create a more powerful blast, use both hands and say "Watersplash""
I held up both hands, like I was doing a Kamehameha, and yelled "Watersplash". A big burst of water shot out of my hands, but stopped immediately.
The rest of the dream was comparatively kind-of boring. I'm going to stop here.

Unlike the first dream where I received a lesson, this dream actually started with something boring going on.
The dream got good when I was in my living room. Manei was there, and she was teaching me something called the "power of K" (I renamed it the power of "Khey") because that's what it sounds like to say the spell word.
She explained to me that this is a destructive spell that you can use by looking away from your target and shouting "Khey" to destroy it. The reason for looking away was that it makes it easier to destroy, because you don't have to think about how something looks when its being destroyed. You only have to think about how something looks before its destroyed and after.
I was practicing on the wall in my living room. Turning away and shouting "Khey" then turning back and seeing a hole in the wall where I had looked away.

This was from the first night I tried lucid dreaming. I would continue to be a lurker for awhile longer and even went on another account for awhile.

I think that account got banned when I tried to manually hard-delete all of my DJ entries by putting the word 'Deleted' in place of all the entries.

Anyways, I think I was so hyped on Lucid Dreaming the first night that I found myself already lucid in a dream. The first thing I remember was being on the beach resort that I dream about. (I dream about that place a LOT, so we're just going to describe it as THAT beach resort.)
But the detail that I remember was that I wasn't just standing on the beach, but I started about 20 feet in the air, and fell in the sand. It didn't hurt or anything. As soon as I got up, I said.
"Ooh, I'm lucid dreaming!"
I looked around, there was only one other dream character on the beach. He was laying in a reclining chair, reading some magazine. He looked like an Asian man, probably in his 50's or 60's. He told me about his daughter, and that she was missing her hair clip, and wanted me to find it for her. I'm not really certain why I decided to follow along with this idiotic dream plot. I guess I didn't have as good of lucidity as I remember. Keep in mind this was my first ever properly induced lucid dream.
I had a weird sense that what I was looking for was in one of the hotel rooms. I checked the first two, and they were completely vacant. But in the third one, there was a red hair clip on the floor just inside the door. I grabbed it, and looked up and to my left. There was the girl who I assumed was the man's daughter.
I walked over to her, and gave her the clip. She thanked me, but never actually took it. Then she began taking off her clothes to reveal that she had several outfits on in layers. But she could transition between them in a very dreamlike manner; such as take off a pair of shorts, and have a pair of long pants on underneath. She asked my opinion on each outfit that she was wearing, trying to see what will impress me. My replies were all like "enhh..." and "It's okay...". As it turns out this girl would be Manei, my own dream guide.
So after a brief fashion show from my future dream guide, the dream began to destabilize. I tried to dream spin, recalling what I had read on dreamviews. But my dream destabilized too fast and I lost control.

Blood and Rainbows (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am watching two people fight each other. The DC that is winning ties the other guy to a lightpost by his arm and walks away. all of a sudden the skin on his arm comes off and you can see all the fat and blood, flesh... very pretty... A van pulls up and he is thrown into the van. Continuing from before,i am now in the front of the van and we are speeding down the road. I look back and he is on the floor - he seems to be in a lot of pain. I kinda start to think about the situation, and I realise its all a dream. I throw myself out of the van and land on the footpath on the side of the road. I look around and see that I am at my old school. Its also pretty vivid too. Apart from the lack of trees, fences and cars on the road, its a pretty accurate manifestation of the side entrance of my school. I run to the closest DC and ask them for green eggs and ham, they replied, "I don't have any, but my brother does" She points into the school, a place where I have to run around a building because the place he is is raised... its hard to explain... anyway I change my mind and I make a rainbow appear. unfortunately the end of it is also inside the school, but I run to it anyway. The dream begins to fade so I focus on the paving at my feet. I lose it. Everything is black... so i visualise the rainbow and eventually I'm back in the dream, walking up to the end of the rainbow. Its width is a couple metres and the colours are in the right order... but its like a giant blow up slide. I try to climb it, but I slide off. stupid gravity... I stand back and squash it with my mind, it works, but the colours are mixed up. Its now like an orange path with patches of other colours. I walk up it anyway. then it goes second person, which is like the bane of my brain! I completely lose lucidity D: The end

Blood and Rainbows (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am watching two people fight each other. The DC that is winning ties the other guy to a lightpost by his arm and walks away. all of a sudden the skin on his arm comes off and you can see all the fat and blood, flesh... very pretty... A van pulls up and he is thrown into the van. Continuing from before,i am now in the front of the van and we are speeding down the road. I look back and he is on the floor - he seems to be in a lot of pain. I kinda start to think about the situation, and I realise its all a dream. I throw myself out of the van and land on the footpath on the side of the road. I look around and see that I am at my old school. Its also pretty vivid too. Apart from the lack of trees, fences and cars on the road, its a pretty accurate manifestation of the side entrance of my school. I run to the closest DC and ask them for green eggs and ham, they replied, "I don't have any, but my brother does" She points into the school, a place where I have to run around a building because the place he is is raised... its hard to explain... anyway I change my mind and I make a rainbow appear. unfortunately the end of it is also inside the school, but I run to it anyway. The dream begins to fade so I focus on the paving at my feet. I lose it. Everything is black... so i visualise the rainbow and eventually I'm back in the dream, walking up to the end of the rainbow. Its width is a couple metres and the colours are in the right order... but its like a giant blow up slide. I try to climb it, but I slide off. stupid gravity... I stand back and squash it with my mind, it works, but the colours are mixed up. Its now like an orange path with patches of other colours. I walk up it anyway. then it goes second person, which is like the bane of my brain! I completely lose lucidity D: The end

07.03.2009

Can't Nuke Me! (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am in a building (in the middle of nowhere) where we get to watch explosions from a distance. I could have gone to a few closer buildings like most people did but I chose the one furthest away from the site. It turns out I made the right decision, because we were the only building that didn't blow up... the explosion was very pretty I guess, for a dream. Im outside the building and I see a ghost ship flying over the debris that used to be a group of buildings in front of ours. theres rubble everywhere, even large rocks floating in the sky. it kinda looks like we're on mars. I'm back inside the building and there is tons of arcade game that i didnt notice before. Theres some good stuff, but I get distracted and follow a DC into the bathroom.

07.03.2009

Family get-together (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Me and my family are riding bikes around a lake, which is something we never do together (?) After a couple minutes we reach a park and have lunch

07.03.2009

Name (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm at a public pool - there are 2 of them, one is up stairs to the left. it seems that there is nothing around the place but beaches and mountains not too far from where we are now. In the distance I see a friend of mine as a lifegaurd. I jumped in a small gap where there was tons of seaweed, I end up being in an ocean and a large sand mountain rises from the seabed. i think.

The dream starts off with my parents and I at a cottage harbour resort in Long Point Ontario, in which we used to vacation every year in October. I am standing in the gravel courtyard looking out over the boat launch. The day is a bit chilly, but sunny and bright, and I am wearing jeans and a large, poofy white sweater. There are some random DCs around, as well as people I know from waking life, but I cannot remember what exactly I was doing. For the most part of this dream I think I was peeking into the old cabins that I have not seen for a long time and trying to talk to the DCs that look like people I used to know there.

The details of this part of the dream are fuzzy but it eventually turns into what looks like an 8-bit or 16-bit RPG. The scenery changes and I am no longer at Long Point but in a small square world. I am floating above it and looking down on a world map, which looks like this:



Interestingly, the world is a similar sepia tone like the map and there are very few variations in colour. The grass sways in the soft breeze and the water sparkles, but all in yellow and brown tones. The land parts of the world are lush with long, thick grasses and flowers, but I do not recall seeing any trees. When I say it was a square world, I mean it looked like this place existed entirely inside a box. There was no sun (though it was bright like daytime) and there were crudely painted clouds on the walls and ceiling of this strange square little world.

I am suddenly in a large field in the lower left hand corner of the world. In the far distance I can see something gleeming as if it was glass reflecting in sunlight. I become semi-lucid and float in the direction of the flashing and come across a group of funny looking DCs racing flying teacups around a bay. A pudgy DC motions towards me to join him in his teacup, but I am just content to watch. The pudgy DC was wearing a one-peice longjohn pajamas, a striped scarf, large googles on his head, and leather gloves with the fingers ripped out. The other DCs wore a similar smorgasbord of unusual clothing combinations.

As they continued to race I noticed another flying teacup approaching from the northwest. It seems to be coming from a large fortress situated in that part of the world. The teacup is black and is being driven by a muscular, clean-shaven man who is wearing a tight fitting body suit. He has a stern expression on his face and is carring a large black whip. The other teacup racers become nervous when he approaches and some fly away in a panic. To the others that stay, the man in the black teacup challenges them to a race to a large whirlpool in the middle of the ocean and back. The oddly dresses DCs agree but I get the impression that they do not have a choice.

The man with the whip flys over to me and pulls me into his teacup. I lose my semi-lucid state and can no longer control my actions. The race starts and the black teacup shoots past the others, gets to the Whirlpool, and makes it back first. Because the other racers never return from the race and I do not know what happened to them. The man then drops me off on a narrow cliff and sends me on my way. I walk for a while and see a cat rolling around in the soft grass just ahead of me. Unlike the rest of the world which is sepia toned, the cat is grey and white in colour. She looks farmiliar, but at that moment I cannot articulate in which ways.

A new DCs appears behind me but I ignore him and continue petting the cat. She looks me in the eye and starts purring. It suddenly hits me that this is my first cat Bambi. I become excited and become fully lucid (because I know that she is dead in real life). I turn to the other DC and say: "Look! Look, it's Bambi! It's Bambi!"

The DC seems to know who I am talking about but is indifferent, which frustrates me. I try to make him care but I cannot. He says something about a cave on and island in the north and that I will be safe from the Bad Guy if I go there. He then says that the Bad Guy lives in a fortress to the north-west. I pick Bambi up, cradle her in my arms and leap off the cliff. I can fly, but only for a short distance before I start to slow down and lose altitude. Once I am on solid ground though, I can jump up or make a running leap and fly for a short time again. I repeat the process several times until I have crossed a small bay filled with islands and reached the entrance to the large cave in the north.

I cannot remember much from the beginning of the dream and what little I recall is kind of fuzzy. Everything is coloured in shades of dark blue and black. The setting is inside a small village where the buildings are all made of wood and the entire area is surrounded by a stone wall. There is one large building in the cener of the village that looks like a warehouse and has no windows. I am exploring the villiage much like an RPG videogame and everything is in thrid person perspective. The transition from outside to inside (or vice versa) is like the survival horror game Resident Evil where everything turns black, except for the door, which slowly opens and you then advance through in first person perspective before returning to third person perspective on the other side.


I am moving through some wooded gates and doors, heading towards the large building in the center of the villiage. Whenever I see a cabinent or desk in a room or hall, I open it and search for items. I don't recall finding anything of interest before entering the large building. When I pass through the last door that will take me inside, the blue and black colouring of the dream dissapears and normal colours return, though it is still dark inside the building. Directly in front of me I can see metal frame bunk beds scattered about. There are lumps in some of the beds but it is too dark to tell if it is people or just a bunch of pillows and blankets. The bunk beds are scattered in a disorderly fashion across the floor and not in neat rows. There are a few beds that do not have a bunk and seem to have white hand knit woolen blankets on them.

I walk towards the back of the room because I can see a row of cabinets in the dim light. As I approach them the room slowly begins to get brighter, as the row of florescent lights on the ceiling high above seem to slowly turn on. As I pass by the metal bunk beds, more and more of them become single non-bunk beds and their placement on the floor becomes more straight and orderly. It becomes bright enough in the room that I can see some young adults in some of the beds, while others remain empty. All of the beds have the white hand-knit woolen blankets now.

At the row of cabinets on the back wall I find some objects when I search them. In the first I find a little glass vial filled with a clear liquid. There is a white label on the side but absolutely no writing on it. I put it away in my bag and a few cabinets down I find a syringe filled with a translucent redish brown liquid that still has the bright red safety cap over the needle. This item also has a white label on the side and is blank except for a scribble in hand writting in blue ink. The writting is two words and appears to be water damaged and faded. I cannot recall now what it said though I am sure that I could read it in the dream.

I hear people talking behind me and to the left. I turn and see a row of desks with many older teens and young adults sitting at them. To their left is a chalkboard, to their right are the misarranged bunk beds and an elderly man with wild frizzy white hair and in grey clothing is standing in front of the students, pointing to something on the wall in front of them. I put the syringe in the bag and walk over to see what they are doing. As I approach them the lights come fully on and everything is bright and washed in florescent ambience.

The elderly man turns and smiles at me and I think he looks a lot like Albert Einstein. He doesn't say it but I get the feeling that he was expecting me. There is something about him that feels "mystical" to me, though there is nothing about his outward, physical appearence that would suggest there is anything special about him. I do not know how to explain it; he was just giving off these warm, positive vibes that grew stronger the closer I was too him. The students in the desks all looked up at me and seemed to be expecting something. I looked back and forth from them to Albert in confusion, before the elderly man asked me: "Are you ready?"

I have no any idea what he means, but I say yes anyway. Albert asked me to give him my bag, saying that I did not need it anymore. When I did so it felt as a great weight had been lifted from my metaphysical body (if that makes any sense). Albert moved to the chalk board on the left side of the room and said to his students that I could show them how to fly because I used to do it all the time.

I became lucid because I realized what he was talking about (in dreams in childhood I used to fly all the time), but protested that I could not fly anymore and had not done so for years. I cannot remember what he said next but it was something about making the air below me solid like the ground. I closed my eyes and imagined an invisible platform below my feet lifting me into the air. There was a loud "crack" and a dull sensation shot from the top of my skull and down my neck as something hard hit my head. I thought for a moment that Albert had smacked my with his pointer, but when I opened my eyes I realized that I had floated up above the classroom and smacked my head on the ceiling. I was excited but also kind of anxious and scared because I felt stuck and did not know how to come down. Albert told me to do exactly what I had done to lift myself up, except in reverse. I closed my eyes and imagined a ball of light above my head and shoulders that was heavy enough to push me downwards.

When my feet touched the floor and I opened my eyes Albert asked me to hover. He said "It's easy. Use the Force." I imagined what the Force (from Star Wars) was like in my own mind, and "felt" the space between the walls, the floor, the ceiling, everything in the room and myself. When I did so, hovering was damn easy. I wanted to show off and fly across the room above the students heads but...


...the darn telephone rang and woke me up! D'oh!!! Stupid telemarketers! Who was that old guy? A dream guide? Or just a random figment of my subconscious? I really have no idea, but man, what a trip!

1 minute 10 seconds to read.

Sunday morning, 13 January 2008. (Reviewed Sunday afternoon, 28 August 2022.)

Hydra Window

Dream # 15,000-13.



This dreaming experience occurred shortly after midnight in the first hour of 13 January 2008 while my family and I lived on Barolin Street in Bundaberg. I had fallen asleep at my computer while sitting in a chair on our large porch. My head was upright.

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I am aware I am gazing into an undefined dark space with three-dimensional depth. Despite the absence of a discernible light source, the surreal imagery has well-defined detail.

I focus on a floating closed sash window. It has nine small panes in a three-by-three arrangement.

Nine snakes seem to have grown from the wooden window frame atop the window, across its width. They sway about oddly (somewhat reminiscent of stop-motion animation) but mainly remain vertically oriented. The snakes seem about half their natural length but remain a part of the window.

Soon, the window moves away at a moderate speed, not as if my viewpoint is zooming out, but as if the isolated floating window is moving evenly away from me as I remain in a peaceful incorporeal space. I do not feel any sense of movement or momentum (as with my vestibular-motor phasing response in REM atonia) or physicality, only vivid sight.

Because I am in the highest self-aware state of dreaming, there is no fear, only curiosity, and puzzlement. There was no myoclonus (“sleep start”) despite the lack of a defined environment.

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The primary influence seems to be from the hydra scene from “Jason and the Argonauts” (1963), especially regarding the unrealistic stop-motion animation essence my dreams sometimes have. (It was one of my favorite movies growing up, and I have seen it numerous times.)

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For many years a particular house has appeared in my dreams. It does not look like any house I know in waking life, yet it looks the same whenever I dream about it, which is approximately every two or three years since childhood. In all dreams previous, the house was full of furniture and appliances and looked as if it has recently been lived in, but empty of people. This dream is slightly different though because, while still abandoned, most of the furniture and appliances were removed, much of the plaster on the walls had been knocked out and the electrical wires, insulation and wooden supports were showing.

The house sits at the bottom of a hill, close to water on a bay on an unnamed lake. The bay is choked with docks and boats and only narrow passages lead to open water. The area around the house is hilly and full of large houses, many of which have wooden stairs and walkways leading down to the dock. My dream house itself consists of three levels and a basement, and a secret staircase and room that connects the first and third floors. The outside is white clapboard and the roof is light grey shingles. Each floor of the house is long and narrow with low ceilings and all of the windows throughout are small and do not let in much light. The first floor consists of the kitchen, living room and a sewing room. The second floor has a large den, a bathroom and two bedrooms. The third floor is an open space, like an attic, and is always a toyroom in the dream. The basement has a bedroom, a bathroom, a large den, a tool room and a laundry room to the rear.


I do not remember the beginning of the dream, or entering the house, but I find myself in the laundry room in the basement, and though it is stripped bare of any living comforts, I immediately recognize the place where I am. Despite just coming to awareness in the basement, I know that I am the only one in the house. Because it is a place I know I only ever see in my dreams, I become lucid. I do not try to force any control over the dream and am content to explore the house because I am curious as to why it seems empty except for the outer walls.

The first thing I notice is that the ceiling seems higher than normal and the windows far out of reach overhead. Actually everything about the laundry room seems oversized. I feel that everything is as a child would see it, though I appear at my current age in the dream. The next thing I notice is that the pipes that once connected to the washer is still pumping out water. The hose from which the water is gushing pours into a bucket on what looks like the burnt out shell of the dryer. The bucket is leaning slightly towards the back wall and is overflowing onto a slanted, beveled concrete trough which directs the water to a drain that carries the water under the house and out to the lake. I also notice at this point that the lights are still on.

I walk into the next room which also seems oversized, though mostly everything but the counters and wooden supports are gone. I walk towards the hall which leads to the den, but the lights are out and I cannot see where the doorway is. I stretch my arm forward and fumble in the dimly lit hall for the light switch but end up almost sticking my finger in an uncovered electrical socket. I eventually find the two switches for the lights for the large den area on the wooded support to my right and flick them on. When I enter the den I look up and it seems that the ceiling is three or four storeys high. It is only when I look towards the eastern wall that I realize why - I can see the secret stairs and room in its entirety. All of the floors up the the third have been completely removed, expect for the secret passage embedded in the eastern wall. There is no indication that there were any floors above, no debris or any indication of demolition whatsoever, except that I recognize the placement of the windows which correspond to the layout of each floor as I remember it.

I can see the ochre coloured furniture in the secret room that has always been there, and except for the wall that usually hides the secret room and stairs being missing, everything else looks the same. The furniture is Victorian era style and there are many black and white photographs pinned to the far wall. There is even the single white candle burning on the small mahogany end table which is the only source of illumination for the narrow, windowless room. I am excited that the secret room is the same, and want to go to it, but the entrance to the lower secret stairs is only accessable by the main floor of the house, which is now missing. I start walking towards the easten wall anyway and trip over a pile of toys and clothing and various household items that I did not see until now. I recognize some of the toys as items that used to be in the toyroom on the third floor and pick up some for a closer look.

I walk over to a black waist high bookcase and find several multicoloured and metallic dinky cars which I recognize from waking life which used to belong to my brother, though in the dream I thought to myself that they belonged to my cousin Keelan. I also found an black and silver flashlight that I used to own years ago and when I switched it on the beam was dim and fading. At the same time an LCD flashlight rolled off of one of the bookshelf ledged and right into my hand. Also at the same time the row of basement lights on the western wall beging to flick on and off seemingly by themselves. I stand up and walk into the middle of the room, trying to see down the north hall in case anyone is there, but I can see no one and both rows of lights on the western and easten wall flicker a few times and go out. It is dark outside so the many windows provide no illumination and it is completely pitch black in the house, save for the small candle in the secret room, though it obviously does not provide much light. I attempt some dream control by saying "lights on" and try to will it to happen, but nothing does. I can hear thumping above me, as if the main floor still exists and someone is walking back and forth across it. I start to feel scared, but the knowledge that I am in a dream does not fade. I also remind myself that I do not believe in ghosts and there really is no reason to be scared because it is only a dream. The thumping continues and though I cannot see anything, I feel the "presence" of something in the hall by the light switches. The terror in me grows, but so does anger and I scream at the invisible presence "TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON RIGHT NOW!"

There is no answer and I stand in the dark for a short time before the terror overwhelms me and I awake in a cold sweat. Or maybe I willed myself awake? I can't remember now.

In this dream I had with two false awakenings. I can't for the life of me remember any details about the dream itself, but I do know that I had a false awakening, after which I did and RC by biting my tongue - but it hurt, so I though I had really woken up. Then I had another false awakening, after which I performed the same RC and became lucid for a brief moment and realized I was in a dream, though I woke up for real immediately afterwards.

The dream starts off with my parents and I at a very modern looking train terminal. My parents look the same as they do now, but I look like I did at about age ten. The station we are at sits on a narrow plateau on the side of a snowy mountain and overlooks a wide valley. The valley itself is entirely surrounded by high mountains and there is not way in or out. The train encircles the edges of the valley and the station my parents and I are at is the only station that is located on a mountain; the rest being located on the valley floor. The train itself is silver in colour and very sleek. The engine looks like a traditional steam engine, but it to is silver and has a very modern/sleek look to it. (It was very neat. I'll have to try and draw a picture of it or something.) There were no dining cars, only flat cars. The first two flat cars had metal canopies that were supported by curved beams on the car's outer four corners, and the rest of the cars were uncovered, with railings running down the middle.

Despite the snow, it is bright, sunny and very warm. We are dressed in winter clothing, but nothing too heavy and I do not recall feeling overheated, even though I had on a wool hat and scarf. My parents are talking with two people near the train's engine, one of whom is a smiling woman in a red sweater. I do not know who she is, but she keeps looking at me and nodding. While there is nothing unusual about her demenor, I feel anxious under her occassional gaze. While my parents are busy, I am looking at a row of machines near the platform's edge that look like ATM machines. They are either gambling videogames or real gambling machines, but I cannot remember which. I played the middle machine and lost two thousand dollars. I recall being confused in the dream about whether or not I had actually lost money or if I had just played a game, but before I could figure it out, my parents called to me because it was time to board the train. They were on the train's first covered flat car and I had to climb onto it even as the train was already moving. No one bothered to help me climb on, but I was able to pull myself up without any help anyway. I glance over at the train's engine and can see the smiling woman in the red sweater looking at me again. I go and sit by my parents and enjoy the scenic view as the train starts down the mountain.

There is no snow at the valley floor. The train first travels through a thick temperate forest, which soon thins out to an open, tree-speckled countryside. It appears to be autumn as most of the deciduous trees have lost their leaves, and those that still cling to the branches are brown and crumbling. There are no signs of towns or civilization along the way, though after travelling through the countryside for a while, the train suddenly slows down and stops at a brown brick building that seems to sit in the middle of park space. There are no roads or paths, but there are benches and empty flowerbeds. It is not a train station however as I discover when we are let off the train for a stretch and a washroon break. The building is like a kennel and it houses many cats, most of which roam freely about.

I am petting random cats when I see a cat that looks very familiar. When I pick her up and hold her, I realize that it is my old cat Bambi, and she appears as she did when she was a kitten.

I almost instantly become lucid, because I know that Bambi is dead in waking life. While I am aware that I am in a dream, I do not have any control over anything other than myself. I am happy to play with and cuddle Bambi but very soon we are called back to the train. It is sort of an unspoken rule, but the cats are not supposed to leave the kennel, but I decide I want to keep my cat and board the last, uncovered flat car of train with her in my arms. The train begins to move and I can feel a tugging, as if some unseen force is pulling at Bambi. I do not have the strength (or dream control) to fight the invisible force and I carefully lean over the edge of the flat car and drop Bambi down to the ground. She disappears for a moment and I panic because I think she has fallen underneath the wheels of the train. I attempt to stop my dream by holding my arms straight out and imagining everything to 'pause,' but nothing happens. The train slowly continues on its way and my parents come up to me, roll their eyes at each other and ask me what I am doing. I tell them that I am trying to stop the dream so I can save Bambi, but they just look at each other again, in annoyance with me, and point out that Bambi is fine, even though they don't look anywhere else but at me. I do not believe their confidence of my cat's condition, but when I turn to look in the direction of the kennel, there is Bambi playing with some other kittens by the brown building's front doors.

I try to stop the train several times by saying "train stop" very forcefully, but it just keeps on going. I cannot gain any control over anything, though my awareness of being in a dream does not fade at all thankfully. I even try to jump off the flat car but an invisible wall keeps me from doing so. The train doesn't travel very far before it stops infront of a large stage. It is damaged and looks as if it has not been used for a very long time. For the first time since my parents and I left the station on the mountainside, we see other people. They are gathered in a group in front of the stage and eave to my parents to join them, but I am too interested in finding my way back to the kennel so I can see Bambi again, even though I know she is just an image from my subconscious. I am also kind of annoyed by the lack of control I have in my dream.

The dream gets fuzzy and cannot remember that next part. I lose my lucidity somewhere along the way, but I do end up back at the kennel. My parents are long gone with the train and I am stuck at the kennel until it returns, and I have no idea when that will be. I play with Bambi and the other cats to my heart's content. Though it has only been one day, it has felt like I have been there for much longer. The sun begins to set and the train finally returns. My parents are very upset and tell me that I have been gone for a week. I try to argue otherwise, as it has only felt like one day to me, but they will have none of it. I do not care that they are upset with me because I am still cuddling with Bambi and she is purring anf kneading me at the end of the dream.

I cannot remember the beginning of this dream but there was quite a bit about wandering around outside in a semi-arid setting. I was travelling with three women I do not know in what looked like a camp ground. Despite the dry arid atmosphere, there were many thick, dark green coniferous trees about - enough almost to classify the area as a forest in my opinion. I do not recall much detail about the appearance of the three women except the two were slightly younger than I (and one was wearing a pink, wool sweater) and the oldest woman was about middle aged and had short dark brown hair. The four of us walked for a while, seemingly lost in the desert forest the three women conversed with each other, but I lagged behind and was content to just enjoy the setting, though as we walked a growing apprehension developed in my mind and I found myself wanting to be in the company of my parents because I suddenly felt very vunerable and child-like.

I had not noticed that she had gone, but the oldest woman of the group suddenly turned a corner, driving a red four door car that looked like a Glendale from the Grand Theft Auto videogame series. I never got her actual name in the dream, but from this point on I refer to the oldest woman of the group as Glenda. I never learn the names of the other two women. Glenda tells us to get in and I make myself confortable in the rear rightside passenger seat. The young woman in the pink, hand-knit sweater sits in the left side and I notice at this point that she has shoulder length blond hair. I think that she looks like Cagalli Yula Athha from the Gundam Seed anime series.

The three women continue to talk amongst themselves but I roll down my window and am content to just stare outside, wondering where my parents are. Glenda drives along a lone dirt road out of the desert forest, heading east, and we travel for a long time with nothing in sight. Soon however there is a wooden ramp a head of us and though it appears that we could drive around it, Glenda is determined to jump the ramp. She floors the accelerator and we speed towards the jump, and I feel that this is a very bad idea. I cling to the Cagalli look-alike and she does the same to me. Everyone in the car is afraid of the worst happening and I cannot talk Glenda out of stopping the car or just driving around the ramp. The red four-door car is heavy and though it hits the wooden ramp at a fair speed and level angle, the vehicle inexplicably flips in mid air, crashes on the roof and slides upside down for a short distance.

The four of us are able to crawl out of the wreck, and though we are dazed, no one is seriously injured. Glenda is quick to rally the other two girls into following her again by saying something like "the Arizona border isn't far now," or something, but I am not interested in joining them. While they continue along the dirt road heading east, I notice something in the southernly direction that looks like a group of small buildings or tents. It is hazy because of the heat and I cannot tell if what I am looking at is real or an optical illusion, but I start walking in that direction anyway. It is very hot and I take off my overshirt and wrap it around my head as I walk.

As I get closer to my destination I can see that it is some sort of outdoor event taking place infront of a large gothic styled building which I think at first much be a medieval church or something. There are stone pillars through the square, as well as consession stands and booths selling various consumer goods. There are many people casually browsing the things for sale or sitting on the many marble benchs scattered about. I am aching from the car crash and walk to the center of the bustle so see if I can find anyone I know. I look over my right shoulder and through the throng of people and booths I can see a Texaco gas station and feel drawn towards it. As I try to make my way there, my dad walks by infront of me and heads over to a coffee stand nearby. He did not notice me as he walked by and does not respond when I call out to him. I am sore and feeling needy and want sympathy because I was in an accident, but my dad completely ignores me as if I am not even there. He orders to hot drinks and walks toward a picnic table in the far end of the square, where my mom is sitting. I unwrap the overshirt from my head and follow my dad over to the table and try to get my parents attention, but again they do not respond. My anxiety increases and I desperately try yelling at them again they do not respond. What adds to my frustration is that I do not know if they cannot actually hear me, or if they are willfully ignoring my pleas for attention.

I briefly become lucid as I acknowledge that this is how it feels my parents treat me in real life, but I do not gain control of the dream because I feel rejected and psychologically exhausted.

Though I know they will still ignore me if I return to their company, I still desperately crave attention and affection from my parents - but it hurts too much to feel non-existant, so I head over to the large gothic style building and see if I can find a pillar or wall to hide behind. As I get closer to the building I notice that one of the huge wooden doors is slightly ajar. I make sure no one is looking and slip through the opening. While it looks like a midieval church on the outside, the interior looks much more like an elaborate palace. Lush carpets line the expansive halls; gold and jewels are woven into every decoration and peice of art; massive crystal chandeliers hang from the ceilings. I stand in awe for a moment, drinking in the magnificent excess of extravagance, until I hear footfalls coming from an adjacent room or hall near the entrance. Because the sound seems to be coming from behind me, I run away from the front doors and deeper into the mansion.

There seems to be some sort of party going on as in each room I pass I can hear people laughing and having fun, though the doors are closed and I cannot see anyone. I turn down one hall and almost trip over a stack of gifts wrapped in colourful papers and ribbons. Down another hall I find a long legless table with row upon row of crystaline bowls filled with either chocolate or vanilla ice cream. Because the hall is not air-conditioned, most of the ice cream is melting, and because the table has no legs and is effectively sitting on the floor, much of the melting ice cream is soaking into the lush red carpet. I walk through a set of doors beyond the legless table and find myself in watch appears to be a dinning hall. The place is set up as if to recieve and dine many guests, but I do not see anyone around. I can hear commotion from an adjacent room and hear a woman say something about "having the place ready for the afternoon guests." I quickly run through the room to a narrow hall on the other side. As I make my deeper into the mansion, a feeling of apprehension develops inside of me and I feel as if I am not suppost to be there.

I enter into a hall with a stairs to the left, a large open kitchen infront of me and a set of double doors to my right. There are cooks in white aprons, waiters in red jackets, and maids in black dresses all rushing around trying to get their jobs done. People do look in my direction, but no one stops what they are doing to say anything about the interloper. I stand in the middle of the hall and notice someone coming down the stairs in the corner of my left eye. A waiter with short black hair is slowing making his way down the stairs and he is holding something I cannot see in his left hand. He makes a funny face and then smiles at me, clearly trying to make me laugh. I do laugh, but try to stifle it with my hand and it is then that I notice that I am wearing a red waiter jacket like the man on the stairs. I am still afraid that I am going to get in trouble because I am not suppost to be there, but being near the man on the stairs seems to make me feel a bit calmer for some reason. Another waiter appears from behind me, carrying a silver tray full of silver dishes, walks past us and mutters to the waiter on the stairs to "leave the new girl alone," or something. The man on the stairs just gives him annoyed look. An aging woman with a scowl for a facial expression, wearing a long black Victorian-era dress and her gray hair up in a bun, appears in the kitchen entrance way and I only get to make brief eye-contact with her when the dream ends.


I think I can sum this dream up quite easy: anxiety about relations with my parents and anger about the emotional neglect I experienced in childhood.

Morning September 25, 2007. Tuesday.



In the first part of my dream, I fly around, but sometimes in a sitting position or even sideways (as if on my side), or “swimming” very slowly in midair. I talk with an unknown woman at a bus stop as I hover in one area, but I am not sure of the overall meaning of anything she is saying, yet I pretend to understand, because she looks as if she would go from cheerful to very sad if I did not understand her. It may be something about a party, a couple names, and things I would probably not know unless I was an actual friend of hers. I get the strong impression that she is dreaming, so I figure she will wake from “her” dream when I come back from wherever it is I am going.

I meet a (unknown) man who asks me where he is. At this point, it is some sort of business building with mostly featureless long halls. I casually explain to him that he is dreaming and show him around, and also show him some tricks one can do in the dream state. I say how you can even fly in dreams. We get to the front part of the building, but he goes off to find someone to ask for street directions instead of believing my claim that he is dreaming.

When I fly back the other way, there is a fairly strong wind. I still manage to get through it by taking different positions (and at one point I am literally sitting in midair waiting for the wind to change slightly) and when I change my position so that I am standing but leaning a bit forward (still in midair), I start musically vocalizing Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries” (with “da” intonations) in a semi-sarcastic way to the people that are walking and at bus stops.

The unknown female is still waiting at the bus stop and says hello to me again. Later on, I am at my sister Marilyn’s house in the United States. Someone puts several both small and large envelopes through the mail slot (on the porch). The name on the envelopes (all the same) is not one I am familiar with. It is seemingly a girl’s name I do not recall. Just a little later, there are two shadows at the door. I am thinking that they are either police detectives or underground gangsters, which seems to be the same concept in-dream. I am thinking they are here to claim the envelopes (some of which seemed thicker) even though I was thinking of seeing what was in them.

They turn out to be a landlord from years back (in Australia), and oddly, Forrest Tucker (who died in 1986), in his persona from the original “Ghost Busters” television show from the 1970s. They are both dressed exactly the same, in 1940s gangster-style suits, but with extra-tall hats. The landlord (who lost his property to the bank to some sort of apparently legal “funny business” against him) asks if I still have the key to one of his properties. I do (false memory) and go and get it for him. Forrest adds to the concern by telling me to hurry, as it seems the landlord must go in and get something that belongs to him before the new owners get back (in real life, he had lost all he owned that was at the property as well).

After that, there is something about drinking a bottle of whiskey with my wife Zsuzsanna. I find a bottle of whiskey and a couple other types of drinks in the house. (Neither of us ever bought alcohol in our life other than me buying shots of brandy at a tavern once a week when I lived in America when cashing my paychecks at the Red Lantern for less than a year.) I pretend to be drunk, somewhat similar to the style Foster Brooks (note “Foster” and “Forrest” have the same letters), but not as extreme. I actually seemed to have gotten the bottles from Foster Brooks in some sort of birthday celebration, which is not for a couple months yet. I do not contemplate the obvious confusion of Forrest Tucker with Foster Brooks until after I am awake.

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Looking up information on Foster Brooks, I see that he died on the twentieth of December, which is my birthday - something I do not remember focusing on before at any time.

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