lucid

Note: Another night with a lot of goals and not a whole lot of progress. My goals included training with Vegeta, bringing MoSh, Asuka, and Mzzkc to this training session with Vegeta, telepathically calling Pablo to come, viewing a dream MoSh had with don Juan, a DDO dream with Tigress, TotY… the list just goes on and on and on and on… Tonight I was successful at slipping into a WILD, which was helpful, and my first dream is that WILD…

I was in my own inner world, at the location right outside of Vegeta's house. Vegeta was right near me, looking at me strangely. He said he had expected there would be people with me tonight, which is what I had said before I went to bed. Vegeta reminded me that MoSh and Asuka were no doubt waiting to be picked up, as was Mzzkc, and Pablo had just wanted me to contact him telepathically to see if the connection worked and maybe if he could get in here. The easiest thing to do would be to send a telepathic signal, or it seemed like the easiest thing to do, so I focused on sending a signal to Pablo, a telepathic signal, "Hey, Pablo! This is Raven, you're dreaming! Remember this dream!" I repeated the signal a few times, focusing on it as best as I could until I heard Serena's voice say I looked constipated and she had a tea for that… so my last message to Pablo consisted of, "Hey, Pablo! This is Raven, you're… constipated? WTF?" It turned out Serena had just been making fun of the look of concentration I'd had on my face. So next I opened a portal to MoSh's inner world and went through it to bring him and Asuka back.

I stepped out of the portal into the usual spot where I enter MoSh's inner world, the place right in front of his house. I went over to the house and looked at the door, I was about to knock on it when it opened and a worried looking MoSh came out. He said something was wrong with Asuka, she was still not acting like herself. I said to Mosh, that after what she went through it might take a while and more healings before she was completely ok… MoSh didn't answer, he just pointed into the house towards the stairs and said Asuka was shut in the bedroom and wouldn't come out. I went upstairs. There was one door closed at the end of the hall, which was where I went. MoSh was right behind me, he knocked on the door and said Asuka's name, saying she needed to come out. I hadn't expected her to, but Asuka came right out. She looked rather tired, but otherwise ok. MoSh wanted to know what she had been doing in there, why hadn't she answered him before, he had been worried about her… She didn't really say much. Ok… go back to my inner world, heal Asuka, and then training with Vegeta… no… before training with Vegeta was the going to get Mzzkc… I had to make sure I didn't forget anything. I opened the portal and the three of us went through it… I wondered about the kids, but I didn't get a chance to say anything. I figured Data was with them.

All three of us stepped out of the portal in the meadow that surrounds Vegeta and Serena's house. Asuka sat down in the grass and started picking wild flowers that were growing around her… then she shredded them into a pile of purple and green mess… then she ate some of it, made a face that told me the stuff was all kinds of disgusting, and spat it out before trying again to eat the stuff with the same results. She picked up some more of the plants and looked to be about to try eating them yet again, but she was distracted by a fluffy red fox jumping around in the grass. She stopped playing with the flowers to watch the fox playing around, then the fox came over to her and climbed into her lap where she started petting it. The fox responded by curling up in a ball on Asuka's lap and purring. Hmmm… cat purrs have a very theraputic effect, do fox purrs also have that effect? Seems like it would.

While Asuka was stroking the softly purring fox, MoSh and I were doing healing spells. Basara showed up very soon and joined in, merging his song into mine and the one MoSh was playing, all three songs somehow came together in a perfect melody. Golden energy filled the meadow, golden energy mixed with some blue and white energy, all centered on Asuka, who still had a purring fox in her lap. The energies swirled around Asuka, all flowing into her. Asuka was smiling, she seemed a lot more relaxed now.

The healing spell ended, and I walked over to Basara. I had been wondering if there was a possibility that I wouldn't be able to heal someone's heart because I have dark energy that I'm using. Basara actually laughed at that idea. He said he had learned enough about dark energy to know that wasn't even vaguely impossible unless I wanted it to happen or the dark energy was unstable and I got consumed by it. He told me I worry too much, so relax or the stress would be what might interfere with my healing. Hmmm… was I just being paranoid again? Most likely.

I remembered my goal of meeting up with another user from Dreamviews, BlakeE45. I had agreed to meet him near the koi pond in the biodome, so that was where I headed now. I also was supposed to retrieve Mzzkc… I would check for BlakeE45 and then go look for Mzzkc… My portal exited right next to the koi pond. I sat down on the bench for a while after I saw that there wasn't anyone there. My mind drifted away as I watched the fish. At this point the dream fades out, though I'm not sure if it ended or if I just don't remember any more.

July 25, 2010
I had a really rough night, last night. I sleep in a basement, and yet for some reason, it was brutally hot, last night. I actually wondered if I had broke a fever or something, that's how hot it felt. During my first wake up, the roof of my mouth was also tingling quite insistently. However, I managed to keep going back to sleep, and dreaming, so... win, I guess.

The dinner party
I managed to chain this dream 3 times! Although the lack of control was a little bothersome, it was still pretty cool. I managed to keep a lot of consistency throughout each chain. To be honest, I can't remember the wake up points, and a 3-chain is kind of hard to remember all of the details, so I'll do my best.

There was a massive dinner party being held at a community hall. The hall itself was actually quite elegant looking. Rich wood walls and flooring. Although I was a guest at this dinner, I happened to be there early, to help with the setting up.

I went to retrieve a coffee pot from the table, when I ran into my ex, Joe, who was setting the table. He smiled at me, happy to see me. I inwardly was amazed at the clarity of his details that my brain could produce. But I also wanted to avoid running into him again as much as possible. I greeted him, and wondered what he was doing here. He was volunteering for set-up and also as a server during the party. I guess I'll have to run into him again, after all.

I took the coffee pot over to a sink area, dumped out the old coffee and rinsed the pot. I set the coffee maker up with a new grind and filter, but didn't turn it on. I left a note to instruct whoever would handle this part to just turn it on when they were ready to serve.

I decided, since I was a guest, to enjoy myself at the rest of the events around the hall that was happening throughout the day. There was something about a manicurist, but I don't really recall anything about that (other than my notes say there was one).

I found Jack in an upstairs room, getting his skin treated for something. He said this woman has a freeze thingy to get rid of moles, and he said I should try it. I said I was fine, and Jack insisted I give it a shot. I knew immediately what he meant... He wanted her to freeze off my "John Lennon mole!"


I have a mole like that too, in that exact location, hence the name Jack hates it when I call it that!! He has also threatened to freeze it off himself. I've warned that's grounds for divorce...

I told them I would be back. I'm pretty sure I actually did wake up at this point. Back in the dream, I was looking at myself in a mirror (clear image, I have no idea what anyone means when they say their image looks screwy. Mine always looks normal...). I noticed I had a lot more moles on my chest than I should, and I even thought as much to myself. Where the hell did they come from, so suddenly? Oh well, guess I better get them removed. So, I returned back upstairs and found the mole-remover was starting to pack up her stuff. I apologized for taking so long, but could she get me done before she goes? She agreed to, and I stipulated that under no circumstances does she touch my forehead mole.

She was really quite shocked by this reaction, most people wouldn't want an unsightly mole on their forehead... I explained that as odd as this might sound, the mole has sentimental value... I noticed in the corner of the room, to help me explain, was a a huge poster of John up on the wall, just like the one above, in black and white (minus the red marks). I asked her if she could see the forehead mole. She could not. I came over and pointed it out. That worked!

I think there was another chain point, here. I was back down in the dining room, and guests were arriving and taking seats. I did briefly see Joe again, here, but I managed to avoid talking to him. I was approached by one of the head of staff, who brought me my time sheet. He could not figure out how to pay me, because all of my entered times looked wonky. I had troubles reading the sheet (damn dream reading)... one entry looked like 0.38 seconds. But then I asked, wasn't this supposed to be volunteer work anyways? Why are we getting paid and doing timesheets?? The boss-guy tried to shrug off my question, and I tried to remember my dream re-entry times when my alarm for work woke me up.

First I dreamt that I was a sheriff or something and I was talking with someone about a gun, I then appeared outside a friends house who was nearly shot in the eye with a pellet gun when we were kids. Me and 2 friends were hanging outside his house and then a bike started riding around us it was a mixture btw. a KTM duke and a KTM 990, because we were talking about which screen to put on if he got it, my brother was suddenly there (probably because he has a 990) and we looked at his bikes screen so that I could get my point across to this DC. We then started to go inside the house to go fetch my friend we wanted to influence him to come to church with us. Inside the house I got in an argument with his mom for judging her (I remembered the time she was talking about as if I had dreamt about it). The friend that came with me changed into his pyjamas and then came and lay down on the couch.

I woke up and wrote some of this down, had a pee and a quick argument with my wife about waking her and then went back to sleep.
I had a false awakening and because I had been RCing every time I woke I did again first I looked at my hands and they were blurry and weirdI became lucid!!!! I blocked my nose to make sure and it felt freaking awesome, I could feel the wind blowing over my and as I breathed for some reason but it just felt cool. The room was very dark and unclear so I tried stabilizing by looking at my hands. I didn't use voice commands because I forgot that it didn't matter if I woke up my DC wife. I got out of bed and just wanted it to last even if everything was unclear I concentrated on staying calm. I walked around to my wife's side of the bed and thought what the hell payback time for getting yelled at. I rubbed her breasts and she woke up complaining that I woke her. I reassured her and we had an intimate encounter (can't kiss and tell even if it's only my wife's DC). It did feel amazing though like only the very best sensations of sex like maybe close to a continual orgasm. I got to excited before I was finished and woke up.
The whole thing felt like it lasted about 2mins from the time I woke up.
I was so excited that every-time I fell asleep and started dreaming after that I was immediately lucid but woke up straight away, it was really annoying.

Later I dreamt that I was having a party at my buddies house and his mom brought as cake and food and stuff. I knew most of the people there. There were some random conversations and eventually I had to leave my car was parked in so I had to move my other friends car, I scratched his wheels on the curd but didin't tell him. I left and the dream faded.

this one was a random lucid, i didn't even RC . i was outside, it was night time, and i suddenly became lucid. there was a lot of debris and paper and cardboard, from some sort of storm i think. there was a big boulder behind my house, don't know how a storm moved that lol. it was about the size of a car, a small sports car, really big. i thought to myself "that'll work..." and tried to levitate it. i'm getting better at the levitating thing, i did it on the first try. i levitated it all the way to the end of my backyard, where strangely it turned into a mannequin lol. then some old man came out and asked me what i was doing. somewhere in my head i was still thinking it was a rock, wasn't as lucid as i thought i guess. i tried to make the mannequin roll toward me, i was gonna try and stop it, like it was an actual boulder lol. i think i then realized that it was a mannequin and started for the front yard. as i went to the front yard, everything started fading, very slowly turning black. i focused and made it go away, it was cool. anyway, when i got to the front yard, there was a lot of leaves on the ground, it was daytime, and it was fall. i wanted to try airbending, and the leaves were the perfect thing to use for it. i tried to airbend, but i could only make a small breeze, something you could make with a broom lol. i gave up and wanted to try earthbending again. there was this patch of dirt next to my driveway that i wanted to try it on. i walked over to it, but thats where my memory stops unfortunately.

25.07.2010

Flying Around (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This is my first decent lucid dream, so it was pretty awesome for me.
I don't think i was completely lucid, because i didn't really realize that I was dreaming, and I didn't do a RC. I did have some thoughts about dreaming, but I don't remember what I thought.
So I wasn't completely lucid, but it was very vividand I had some control, so it must be awesome to be completely lucid.

I don't remember how the dream started. I was in my house with a guy who knew everything about controlling myself in the fantasy world. I concidered myself more in a fantasy world than in a dream.
I was in my house with a person who could go to the fantasy world whenever he wants. He knew everything about fantasy, and living and controlling yourself in it. I think I was locking someone in a room in my house. I didn't like the person, and the room doesn't really exist IRL. The room was a little bigger than the toulet and it looked old inside with a wooden desk. I went outside to my garden with him. I felt free like I had control. He went to sit down in front of our garden house, while I tried to fly. It worked, I was flying around above my garden and the trees behind it.
I landed and I tried again. This time, I was more making big jumps than I was flying, and it wasn't as high as when I was flying. I wanted to jump higher but I couldn't. I yelled "higher!" It worked for 1 jump, then I jumped pretty low again. (The jumps still were 3-4 meters high) I asked the fantasy guy what I should do, but I think he didn't answer. I was still jumping, and while I was in mid air, I decided to use pyrokinesis. The fantasy guy had changed in a sheep. I tried to make a circle of fire around him, but instead he ran in circles while there was fire behind him that completed the circle. Good enough. Then I wanted to show my mom the pyrokinesis. She was standing at the door. I had a memory of her saying never to use pyrokinesis as a rookie, because I might not be able to control it and turn the dream into a nightmare. I still did it because I knew I was only in the fantasy world. I made some fire in front of her. She put out the fire. (I was still hanging in the air by the way) There were some other plants also burning, on the other side of the window. I said it because she couldn't see them from where she was standing. She said I had to wait because she can't do it all at the same time. Then I came closer to put them out myself. Here it was already less vivid. The big window was open, it's a window that you can walk through. I saw some fire in our living and started to panic. I said we had to put that fire out first.
I woke up.

I didn't mark this dream as lucid because it was only semi lucid. I used the words "fantasy world" because I knew what I did there was not real, but I didn't realize that I was dreaming.

07/24/10

Something about angels that die at the same time as their human mates... I should really stop reading bad fanfiction.

I'm running away from zombies. I want to take to the water, so I steal my uncle's boat and go down the creek.

I need supplies. I find another boat, but apparently it's owned by the still-surviving Mafia. I steal the boat.

Now I'm being chased by thugs sent by the Mafia, as well as zombies. I run into a building, blasting holes through walls and ceilings, trying to make a route to the roof. I realize that I'm dreaming. I try to black out and go to the first location I think of (the apartment in Ixburg). I stop, everything around me faded to grey, and wonder why the hell I'd want to go to Ixburg. I fade back into the dream and keep running.

I make it to the roof. My enemies are right behind me. I jump down onto a white truck, and make a run for it, laughing.

Later. I'm on the road in a camper-trailer. I'm making dinner and doing dishes. Oma wonders if there's not enough protein in the pasta I made.

We're going to see a movie in Moose Jaw (real place, I do not kid). We park the camper and I step out with my cousins. I look at the showtimes, but Despicable Me isn't playing in that theatre anymore. Apparently this is the first day it's not showing. I'm very sad.

The Mafia. Scare Factor: 3.

Notes: I'm writing up an especially epic dream from two days ago, which seems to directly follow up Seven Minutes in Heaven. Basically, Castiel (from Supernatural) gets captured by someone, and I take the opportunity to thoroughly mindfuck Team Free Will.

24.07.2010

Wife behavior triggers lucidity (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Well. This is my lowest night since several, several nights. I went to bed very late and woke up very early, I sleep only around 5 hours and I still managed to grab two dreams. One is a small fragment, and the other one, a lucid.

Second:

I had a false awakening in my room. I was with my wife and she was nude. My wife told me she did not need sex anymore. There were two more female characters and I asked to them what was going on with my wife. One of them told me that she may had other sources.

One of the female DC pulled a vibrating toy. It was hidden under my wife's pillow. We realized the reason that my wife needed no sex anymore. I felt bad about it, but got over it quick. I was looking for my dream journal. While I was looking for it, the issues with my wife came to my mind again. I wanted to talk with her about it.

I found my DJ. It was made out of gummy bears instead of regular paper. I could see some letters on it but it was hard. I started to write down my dreams and it shattered in several pieces (each gummy bear was separated) The DC helped me to put them together and I tried to write my dream, but the pen did not want to work.

I ran to the computer as I was afraid that my dreams were going to be forgotten. I saw my wife and it came once more to my mind the issue. I started to wonder why did she used such toy if she always has been happy with me. I reality checked as I was unsure that it could be for real. It was definitely fake. I had no thumb and two fingers were fused into one. I looked at my hand for a second time and it was fine. I jumped. I reached about a couple feet of heigh and I landed in slow motion. I left the room and walked downstairs to the living room. This house was not my waking house. I saw a big old school window and I decided to leave. I always fly in my lucids so is what I did (I rarely walk) I flew straight to the window but I hit the wall and bounced back.

I said to myself that I could easily go through the window. I flew into it again and flew through it. I could hear the glass shattering as I started to go through. I saw the pieces of the glasses falling being me.

I was flying over a big forest. The trees were big and they appeared treacherous. I realized that I was in a small island, surrounded by a lake. I could see a huge city after the lake. As I gained height, I saw that it was sunrise. I saw all the buildings with their lights on and the freeway getting crowed.

I looked up in the sky and I saw a huge and beautiful moon. I decided to fly towards it to meet with WakingNomad and company. As I gained more height, I felt passing through the big trees. While I was gaining height, I woke up. My wife's clock rang. Time to wake up to drive her to work.

Missed Dream Signs:
- The FA.
- They very odd shape of my wife's vibrating toy.
- My DJ was made of gummy bears.

Dream Signs noticed:
- Realizing that my wife would not act that way in waking.

Reality Check performed:
- Hand check.
- Gravity check.

I realised I was dreaming. I was talking to some girl iv never seen before. As soon as I realised I was dreaming everything started to fade. I kinda went auto pilot for a few seconds to try to stay in the dream. I didnt try moving or doing anything. The dream slowly came back and I observed my dream body respond to the girl and walk a few steps with her. When the dream had full clarity again I pulled my hand up and spawned a second pinky finger out of my hand. I walked away from the girl, I dont even think she noticed, she was talking as if I was still listening as I walked away.

I came to a spot while an incline down a long hill. There were a few pine trees around and everywhere was covered in sand. I felt I could slide down the sand so I took a few fast steps and pushed my feet out like you would do on ice. My feet sunk in straight away, there was a large log in the sand infront of me. I imagined it would be like snowboarding but without the board on my feet and tried again. It worked perfectly, I slid up and grinded the log. I started carving down the sand track, it was amazing. Just like snowboarding but on sand and without a board!! Then I noticed underneath the sand was rock. It was like a realy small halfpipe but the rock only emerged out of the sand on the very edges. I would carve down the slope and swing up to do grinds on the sides of the pipe. Two skateboarders were coming uphill towards me (Dont ask me how they were skating on sand!) so I easily carved in between them getting dangerously close. They looked impressed. I came to the end of the slope and there was a bunch of people watching some skates, a young beginner skater came infront of me and knocked my foot and I stumbled a bit. I met a few guys who were all real cool then I noticed one guy was holding a skateboard deck with no trucks on. I asked him if I could borrow it and headed back to the top to try it now with a skateboard but woke up

Note: It turned out that some really nasty things happened to Asuka during the time she was with L, she was in serious need of healing. That was my first priority, to go help MoSh with healing Asuka. I figured I would definitely take Basara with me… I had my first goal in mind when I fell asleep, but I was not successful in entering a WILD. I'm not even sure how I became lucid in this dream… it just kind of happened gradually, so gradually that I'm not exactly sure when I became fully lucid…

I was in the front yard of my house, and I noticed it was cloudy. I wanted to go for a walk, and the clouds made it much nicer to walk than when it is fully sunny. I left the house and went to the gate, realized I had forgotten the remote to the gate, so I climbed over it instead of going back into the house to get the remote. I walked down the dirt road and up to the main street where I turned left. I followed the road for a while until I reached the new housing development that has been going in recently. I'd never seen the houses up close, so I turned into the housing area and figured I would take a look around. It was nothing remarkable, all the houses were basically cookie cutter homes that all looked the same. Or mostly the same, there were about three different models repeated over and over and over… Then I went up a hill and found a house that looked different. The first thing that came to mind was MoSh's house in his inner world. But how could I be seeing that here? It looked so much like MoSh's place that I went to the door and knocked. Much to my amazement, MoSh answered.

"Oh, good… you're here," MoSh said as he hurried me into the house and closed the door behind me, "Asuka really needs help… I'm not sure what else to do for her except for try to heal her. The things I'd like to do to that bastard…"

I told MoSh he could do whatever he wanted to L, or I could do it and he could read about it in detail, or we could both do it together and he could read about it in detail… or he could probably get Walms to have some fun with L then read about it when Walms posted his DJ… or… MoSh interrupted me at this point, saying we should focus on Asuka for now, L could be made to pay later. I remembered that Basara would be able to help with healing Asuka so I focused on opening a portal to find Basara, the portal opened and Basara came through as if he had been expecting me. Somewhere in here must be where I became fully lucid, but it was the end of a gradual process so I'm not completely sure when it happened.

Basara and I followed MoSh into the bedroom where Asuka was hiding. And she really was hiding. She was in a corner of the room trying to disappear into the wall, she had her knees pulled up to her chest and her face was hidden as if she thought no one would see her if she couldn't see them. MoSh went over to Asuka and touched her on the shoulder, I noticed a very concerned look on Basara's face. Asuka responded right away to MoSh, she reached for him and immediately put her arms around him as if she was drowning in the ocean and he was her life preserver. Basara didn't need to be told what had to be done, he summoned a guitar and began playing a song that I recognized from the Macross 7 soundtrack, the song entitled Love Will Save Your Heart. I focused on the healing song along with Basara, thought it looked like MoSh was having problems getting to his guitar with Asuka clinging to him as she was… As the song was playing golden energy filled the room, giving everything in the room a golden shine that came just from the energy. When the song ended, there was no pause in the music as Basara moved seamlessly on to My Soul For You from the same soundtrack. Asuka had let go of MoSh by now and was sitting on the bed staring off into space, which meant MoSh could also add to the healing energy in the room. As this song ended, all three of us were contributing to one more song that I recognized from the Macross 7 soundtrack but I don't remember the title of it… the title was probably in Japanese.

There was still healing energy filling the room, although some of it looked now to be blues and whites instead of the usual golden energy, this energy seemed very relaxing, however, and it brought a warm sensation of comfort and safety, of love and caring… I continued focusing on the song Basara was using at the time, he had changed songs again. Asuka was still sitting on the bed, though she seemed to be paying attention to the three of us now as if we were giving her a private concert, which I suppose we were. The blue and white energy was centering in on Asuka and flowing around her in a manner that made it look like she was glowing… she looked more like an angel than anything, though she didn't actually have the wings… The music and the energy were so relaxing I thought I might fall asleep in the middle of the healing process… Basara played through one more song, I also don't remember the name of this one, and then the music stopped. There was still a bright glow about Asuka as the light energy was still surrounding her and flowing through her. I looked closer at her and saw she actually had a small smile on her face. Basara looked at Asuka and smiled himself, he said it looked good. He said he didn't know if that one time would be enough for her to get past what had happened, but he had to say one thing for her, she seems stronger than she looks. Now that the music had stopped Asuka lied down on the bed and fell asleep, though her sleep looked peaceful and relaxed. I told Basara that if she needed more healing, then she would have it. Basara agreed with that before opening a portal and going through it.

MoSh kissed Asuka ash she slept and then left the room, clearly meaning for me to follow him. I followed him into the next room where he had some pictures lying face down on a desk. He picked one of them up and looked at it only briefly before turning it face down on top of the others so that none of them were visible. He said that he needed to make sure Kanmuri knew how important it was to keep L away from Asuka. I opened a portal to get to L's inner world and the two of us went through.

MoSh and I exited the portal in the area of L's inner world where we usually seem to arrive. I wondered if it would be possible to enter at a different location if I needed to for some reason, this was the only place I could remember arriving. For this time, however, that location was just fine. I spotted Kanmuri not too far away from us, she was looking over at the guest house with a strange look on her face as if the building held some kind of unfathomable mystery. She saw us arrive there and said L was in the guest house again, she said she didn't know what he was doing in there, but she didn't think he had anyone in there with him, she was sure he hadn't gone after Asuka again… MoSh said Asuka was safe at home, but there was something he wanted to show Kanmuri. She asked what that was, looking at the pictures in MoSh's hands, which he gave to her.

Kanmuri stared at the first picture as if unable to comprehend exactly what she was seeing, then she looked at the next one and the third one before dropping the pictures on the ground. She had a look of total shock on her face, seemed unable to find any words appropriate for the situation. She said she never thought that would happen… she admitted she hadn't known L for long, but that was just so… so… and again words seemed to fail her. MoSh said that the things that had happened in those pictures showed clearly why Kanmuri has to make absolutely certain L doesn't get anywhere near Asuka again. Kanmuri stared at MoSh in stunned disbelief, again she didn't seem to know what to say, but that didn't last long…

"You don't actually expect me to stay here with that… that monster, do you?" she asked incredulously, "I've stayed here until now, and I was going to try to make sure he didn't go off and kidnap Asuka again, but that was before I knew he was a total psychopath! I'm out of here!"

"Then who is going to keep L away from Asuka if you don't stay?" MoSh asked.

Kanmuri was silent for a bit again, then she got mad, "So you expect me to stay here no matter what might happen?" she yelled right in MoSh's face, "So it's completely ok with you if I get tortured and gang raped and maybe even killed as long as your precious Asuka is safe? Well, guess what? I'm not going to stay around here as an outlet for that bastard's twisted fantasies! That was the only deal breaker, I don't care if he's a jerk, I don't care that he apparently hasn't even got the capacity to care about anyone, but I will not stay here and be abused!"

"You were supposed to keep L from hurting Asuka!" MoSh said, apparently getting upset himself, "You said you would do this, so you can't go and leave now!"

Kanmuri was so pissed off she was momentarily unable to speak, it also looked like she might cry, from rage? Sadness? It was more rage that she was expressing. "You are… you are…" Kanmuri finally found her voice, though she didn't seem to know what words to use, "You are such an ASSHOLE! If those things had happened to me, it wouldn't matter to you at all, would it? Well it's not happening!" She did something and then dropped a nasty expletive. She was muttering something about not even being able to open a fucking portal to get out of this hell hole. I asked where she was looking to go, I figured it wouldn't do any good to try to keep her here against her will. She said she wanted to go somewhere that she wouldn't be gang raped by a bunch of mindless drones and the king of all assholes… um… my inner world qualified for that… so I opened a portal to my inner world. MoSh told Kanmuri she couldn't just leave, she flipped him the bird and said watch her, she was already gone. She went through the portal to my inner world, and about the same time I woke.

I'm sitting in the back of a cab between Elaine and Kramer. I wonder, "Where is Jerry?".

What? Seinfeld is a show. How could I be in a cab with "Elaine" and "Kramer". I decide to check my hands. This was a gut reaction, there was no reasoning. It just seemed that's what I should do. My hands are really distorted. My left hand has only a few long fingers. My right hand is missing the ring finger from the middle knuckle up. My thumb are normal. Immediately, I realize I am dreaming. These are not what my hands are supposed to look like. Cool. I can even realize that I have been trying to LD. I know the steps I have taken, and that it is intentional. I am fully aware of what I want to do. I do NOT know what time it is, nor if it is light out or not.

I notice that no one is speaking. They aren't frozen or anything, they just aren't talking. I notice there is no cab driver. The cab isn't even moving. I get into the driver's seat of the cab. No steering wheel. I think, "I can just make one, this is my dream". I try to conjure a steering wheel. No luck. I demand a steering wheel. Nope. I decide not to waste my dream time and climb out of the window of the cab (why not just open the door?).

Now I begin to wake up. I immediately recognized this, and looked up and started spinning. It looked like when you play a first person video game, point your view up, and then just rotate using one stick. No dizziness at all. Now, I am stabilized and back in the dream.

Now I am in the breezeway of an apartment complex. It is dark. I start running. I am not frightened, but deeper in the dream, and a little less lucid. I conjure a pool and jump in. No shock of hitting the water. I am underwater, and decide to try to breathe. I am now more lucid. I plug my nose and cover my mouth with my hands....and....breathe in. It works! I'm elated! I can do it. I move myself out of the water.

I am running. No one is around, and suddenly I come upon a beautiful slim short brown haired women. She is about 35 or so. I think, I'm in a dream, I can do whatever I want, and this is a really nice looking woman. I immediately rip off her top. I can clearly see her breasts, and can only focus on those. I touch them. I put my face to them, they feel wonderful, then snap to....

I am running through the streets of my youth, but the colors are much more beautiful. Not more vivid, just more of them. I decide to fly. All I can do is jump. What is going on? This is my dream, FLY dammit! At one point, I leave the ground for about 10 feet or so for a second or two. No luck from that point on.

I keep running. I'm thinking how cool this is. I check my hands again, and my finger are really long. Yep, I'm still dreaming. I climb up on some big stones and jump off of them. It doesn't hurt. I try other high (not very high, no more than 8 feet, don't know why) and jump. No pain, or even feeling.

I'm running again. I still know I'm dreaming, but a little less lucid. I'm not breathing hard, my muscles don't ache, I am not tired. I could run like this forever. The grass is slightly rainbow colored. The sky is a beautiful blue at the top, but it is either sunset or sunrise. It is fantastic. I am running towards it. I am overcome with joy. I cannot help but cry at how happy I am...

I awake. I am not crying, not particularly joyful, just kind of normal. I am totally excited though. I induced my first LD!



(sequencing unknown, this is recall)
I am in a gun store store. I have bought a very large gun (.50 cal). I paid $699 for it. I am worried that I do not have enough money in my account to cover all my expenses, so I need to return it. Don't know why I even bought it. I has three barrels instead of just one. I have a reciept for it. I am relieved when I see that I only paid $99 for it. I am going to return it anyway. I look closely at the receipt. I can see clearly the numbers. On the right side of each item besides the gun is a very detailed color hologram of my parents in a picture pose. I know instinctively that this is a security measure.....

Conditions:
1200 mg of Omega03&6 Fish Oil (JBB)
1000 mg Vitamin B6 (JBB)
20 ounces of Apple Juice (BB)
Checked hands during the day (DD)
Read some philosphy and LD (DD)
Binaural Beats: Base: 95hz, Beat: cycled from 2 hz to 7hz to try to mimic a typical dream cycle; Pink Noise; Volume Med for both. Can audibly hear beats. Removed after 2 hours (annoying me)

Fell asleep: 2:30am
WBTB: 8:00am
LD: 9:30am complete

---------------------

JBB=Just before bed after 9pm
AB= At bedtime 11:30pm
BB=Before Bedtime after 5pm
DD=During the day between wake and 5pm

#953:
Date: July 20th, 2010
Length: 4 minutes

I'm at a friend's house (although it looks nothing like it does in real life), and just sort of sitting around in his room doing nothing. After a while, sitting on his bed, I look out a window to my right, at a sort of small garden. Suddenly, from the bottom of my line of vision to the outside, a creepy, demented-looking clown face rotates into view (eg, like a piece of paper that was flat on a table, then rotated until it was vertical). It freaks me out, but after a short moment, it disappears.

<Unsure about this part...> I think I spend the night there, sleeping on the same bed I was sitting on. I wake up in the morning, and look out the window, concerned that the clown face will appear again. It does, but once again it disappears. I wait a little, and it shows up again. I somehow come to the conclusion that it's just somebody blowing bubbles (...that look like clown faces...?), which is why the faces keep disappearing (popping). I feel relieved that it's not something worse.

At this point, I think I become somewhat lucid (though not extremely aware, either). I talk to my friend, and I think say something about this being a dream. Soon after, a kind of oval-shaped portal appears in one of the walls, and through I can see a beautiful coastline (I'm not sure if I was the one to create the portal or not). After talking a little more with my friend, I feel the dream starting to fade out, and I tell my friend that I need to leave quickly. I step through the portal, and find myself outside, under a beautiful blue sky, near the ocean. I walk down a sort of sand dune, and find myself on a sort of rocky beach. I look down at the water, and in some small, clear pools, I see tadpoles swimming around. Impressed with how vivid everything is, I keep walking and just looking around. I think the dream faded out after that, because I don't remember much else.



#954:
Date: July 21st, 2010
Length: 2 minutes

A pretty blurry, confused dream, can't recall that much from it.

I'm in some kind of building in a small, medieval town. Someone else is with me, I guess a friend. We've apparently just unleashed some kind of dangerous force, which is pursuing us (I can feel it right behind us, in the other room). We sprint out the building, which I think is on fire as we try to get out. Once outside, we realize that we have to leave the town quite soon, or risk getting killed. However, I seem to have one last thing to do, and head towards a small cathedral.

I step inside, and it looks more like a wooden barn than a cathedral. I don't quite recall what I did, but I accidentally summoned some sort of demon (it was described in text, somehow, as a "godless demon" or "nameless demon," or something like that). It seems enraged, and lunges towards me. I quickly run out of the cathedral, and I think it burns down, too. That's about all I remember.

I was at my house with my sister, we were photographers in this dream taking pictures of some client. After taking those pictures I told them: "I have something to do, I'll be back later." I left my house and began walking down the street, when I left I could tell that it was about two in the afternoon by the position of the sun. But when I turned the next corner the dream suddenly turned to night. This is when I realized I was in a dream.
I looked at my hands to stabilize my lucidity, but it was very difficult to see any details on my hands because of the lighting in the dream. I'd say it was about midnight by how dark it was outside. I was able to make out my knuckles and a few of the veins that are on the back of my hands but that's about it. I decided to start off by taking it slow and just go for a walk. So I'm walking down the sidewalk and see there's an overgrown tree with branches bending onto the sidewalk. I decide to use some dream magic and blast the branches out of my way with a lightning bolt But when I try to shoot the lightning bolt my dream environment flickers, I perceived this as a destabilization of my dream so I decided I wouldn't be doing that again Walking under the branches I took a right at the next intersection, and looked at the street light on the end of the block. I told myself I was going to jump to that street light in a single bound (but what I really wanted to do was fly, though I wanted to take things slow), so with all my strength I leaped into the air. I started heading straight up, hundreds of feet into the air. This is when my dream faded out, I kept my cool and looked at my hands to stabilize it, but I couldn't see my hands all I saw was the black void. In a last ditch effort I began to dream spin while repeating to myself: "I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming..." This worked perfectly and I found myself back on the street where I had first taken flight. Walking along i decided to stroll through some backyards, I peered into the window of one of the houses I was walking past; inside I saw some cool paintings, so I went inside for a closer look. Looking at the paintings I heard somebody walk in through the front door, I quickly found a hiding spot. Then I thought to myself: "What am I doing? This is my dream, so this is my house." I come out of my hiding place, and the man is startled by me. He says that I'm a good hider and after that we talk about his paintings until I wake up.

The reason I think flying and shooting that lightning bolt destabilized my dream was that I wasn't able to sufficiently stabilize my dream with hand observation (due to the poor lighting in my dream), so next time I'm going to focus more on stabilization by finding a light source so I can effectively cement the dream in place.

July 23, 2010

Failed training (DEILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Finally done with drivers ed so I can get a full night sleep now. I woke up at 6:28 AM and was only able to remember the end of an epic dream. I was a ninja from naruto. I had watched it just before going to sleep. There was an army of water style ninjas attacking from the north. They all looked the same like clones and there was one that was gigantic one. They used water jutsus on me and I used did some epic stuff to fight back. I cant remember exactly what I did. lol

I went back to sleep really quickly and dreamt for an hour or two before I got to the part I can remember. I was in the car with my dad driving somewhere. Then It faded and I realized I had to keep the dream going. I imagined typing on my laptop and it was 100% vivid feeling. I couldn't see anything though it just kept me from waking up. it faded again and I popped up in a dream where I was on the couch in the family room with my laptop on my lap. I knew I was dreaming but I did a noes RC anyways and got an exhilarating kick when it worked regardless. It was dark and the lights were not on for some reason. I went to the middle of the room and got into a karate stance and yelled (in Japanese this time) Kage Bunshin No Jutsu! (Shadow clone jutsu from Naruto. It should clone me so I can complete the advanced task of the month.) but again nothing. I tried to make a ball of energy but I failed at that too. My dream control really has not been very good lately. That's why I need this training. I looked up and randomly, out of the hall came one of my friends. I was like what the heck are you doing here. He said he didn't know. I asked him if he knew how to clone himself and he said ya. He walked over and looked at what was on my laptop and a second one walked up behind him. I asked if that was a clone and he said ya. I tried again and failed. I tried again and as I started to feel it happening I woke up. Grrrrrrr I didn't even get any training done. I just want to use the shadow clone jutsu for an easy and quick way to complete the task. I have plans for a much better and more original technique for cloning myself but I need some other training for that first. It was already 10:00 AM so I tried to fall back to sleep but couldn't clear my mind.

This morning, I had my second lucid dream. I was lying in bed, after waking up a couple of times and drifting back off. For some reason, the idea of lucid dreaming was in my head. I think I kind of woke up from a dream and thought it was lucid, though it really wasn't. I decided I was going to try to be lucid. But, I was sort of aware of being awake--at least, at that point, I saw all black. Then I started to imagine myself in a situation, still seeing all black. I imagined I was in a rain forest on an island. Suddenly, I heard huge sweeping winds and rain, though I still saw nothing. I thought to myself, "I must be lucid dreaming--I can hear the wind and rain!" It's possible that some real life noise caused it, or I might have imagined it. Anyway, I imagined myself hopping off the island into the water and swimming with a bunch of fish, and it felt more and more real. I forgot about lucidity. Then I got out of the water and onto a dock, and suddenly, I gained full vision. It was like the black just kind of faded to a real image of the dock, through my real eyes. It was startling, and at this moment I remembered my desire to be lucid. It worked, and I had the same weird sense of reality as in my first lucid dream of some months ago.

I noticed some people on the docks, and started talking to a girl I was sitting right next to. Just then, I felt myself losing lucidity, and everything faded to black. I was about to give up, but then I had a crazy idea. I thought, "Maybe I didn't lose the dream. Maybe I just closed my eyes in the dream." I'm not sure how to describe what happened next...I remembered where the girl was in relation to me, and I just...reached out and grabbed her leg. I couldn't see anything still, but I could feel her leg in my hand. I realized this couldn't be a leg actually in my bed with me, and then I just...opened my eyes and I was back on the dock in the exact same place. I got up, and tried jumping and spinning around, but everything was in slow motion, like a 3d video game with lag. Then I went back to black, and this time I couldn't get back. I woke up.

I tried to go back into lucidity a couple of times but it just didn't work.

Hey, I've been spinning in my dreams a lot. For example, i was on my way to sleeping and I found myself spinning and then going down a hole with all kinds of things and beings. I've noticed the more relaxed I get the faster I go... and as I surrender it feels really good, almost like flying. I sometimes spin upside down, like a top... again, as I relax, I spin faster. Does anyone know what this means? Is it common?