lucid

Date: 11 Feb

Pre bed: lecithin

Wbtb: 1/3+ latte

Was feeling super sleepy and even after the latte and mantras, I knew if I fall asleep nothing's going to happen. So I try to seriously to project my intent forward and expect an ld.

DILD: I mostly have some unconscious moments and then the next thing I remember is that I am involved in this dream in our old place, some scenario going on, but at the back of my mind is this vague thought about lucidity. It's mixed with all the false thoughts about the current dream, but for some reason I decide that whatever's going on is not to my liking and that this is a dream. My dad's walking around as part of the pre-ld scenario and I follow him to the living room.

He sits on the sofa now and I remember about totm. I ask him for a dog biscuit. He instantly hands me something that looks like a rubber dog toy in the shape of a bone. I doubt it's edible and ask him again, where he hands me a smaller version of the same thing. As I examine it, it changes slightly in shape, but I'm still impressed it's the shape of a bone. I ask him a third time, hoping it will finally work. He gives me a small paper package with something like a biscuit sticking from one end. I take it out and it's a bone shaped dog biscuit. I take a bite and slowly chew to feel the taste, it actually tastes pretty nice and fresh, like a normal biscuit and has this very pleasant walnut flavor.

Then, I recall I wanted to ask about true love and ask dad. He doesn't give me a direct answer but addresses the question and makes some rhymes (word starting with o?). Mom is now sitting next to us and I ask her as well. She gives me a long philosophical answer that sounds appropriate, but can't really recall. Then I go back to dad and ask again and he gives me his previous answer.

I go to my room and decide to leave the place and see my friend a few streets away. I'm floating, moving towards the balcony door and open it using tk/thought, another one behind it, open it as well. I think about floating down like this but want to go in the other direction so descend in a hard to describe dream way down the balconies which by then become much longer than rl. I have the feeling that am moving much faster than the dream is building, so slow down and have a quick look at some items in front of me. Only one more story to jump and I wonder from which side it will be more convenient to go - back yard or the street will yield less distortions. The dream becomes shifty and by the time I reach the street, it changes to a different place. I try to bring the old street back by turning around and describing what should be here. The neighbors, this guy's place. I correctly recall he was in the previous dream. Yet, the street remains the same. The dream soon ends. I feel like continuing sleeping, but start to forget details already.

Having not focused on lucid dreaming for a few months, I showed just how easily I can get back into practice by hitting two more in one night. Also, it looks like it helps if I do them on my day off when I'm more relaxed and able to sleep in.

…I'm standing in the front hallway. I know this has to be a dream because I was just in bed, and I confirm this by noting that the hallway seems larger and the closet seems smaller than usual. I wonder what I'll find when I turn around, and what I see is Michael Fassbender. (Yeah, at all those Fassy pictures on Tumblr before bed really paid off!) Oddly enough, he's wearing a priest's roman collar -- must be due to that interview I read about him wanting to be a priest when he was little. The first thing that comes to mind is that I want to give him my heart. How romantic, right? I try to reach into my chest. It's like there's a gap where I can get my hand through, but then I hit a bony plate halfway in that stops me from reaching my heart. I try to think of another way to get my heart out, including the possibility of reaching down through my throat. This is pretty gory stuff, actually. Not what I was thinking about when I set out on this task. I look over Michael's shoulder and there is Benedict Cumberbatch, all dressed up in his tux like he's going to some awards show. And as I look at him, my heart just floats out of my chest and into my hands. It's a large heart-shaped ruby that seems to be glowing. I give it to Benedict and he cradles it in his hands as he promises he'll take good care of it.

At this point, there was a noise outside that woke me up. I checked my watch and realize I have another two hours before I have to be up, so I roll over and try to go back to sleep for lucid dream #2.

I'm walking through work as I listen to "We Go Together" from the Grease soundtrack playing. Wait a second -- they don't play music at work. I see that there is an extra block of aisles where there shouldn't be one and I know I am dreaming again. I look at my hands to stabilize the dream, but my hands start flipping up and down, faster and faster until they're beating like a pair of hummingbird wings. The store disappears and I see a mountain appear, the same mountain that has shown up in a few previous dreams. I start to fly up towards the top but think to myself, "No, wait, I was supposed to do something else."

Returning to the ground, I see my coworker Kathy. I've noticed that she turns up in a lot of my dreams hanging out with my friends even though we barely speak to each other at work. I walk up to her and ask why she keeps showing up in these dreams. She tells me, "Because I represent the possibility. I represent what you could be if you would just open up and try harder." I'm not quite sure I'm satisfied with her answer, but I consider it for a moment. Then I decide to try something. I step into Kathy's body to see what it's like to be her. The mountain appears again, this time completely covered with snow. I remember the bonus task of the month and find myself on skis. I've never really skied before, so it takes me a little while to figure out how to start skiing up the mountain. I settle into a sort of cross-country skiing up the steep incline. I do have to pull myself along at times, but I make it to the top, where there's a flat ledge. Kathy is waiting up at the top and tells me that I did a great job. There's a guy waiting there, too, but I can't make out his face. He stands behind me, takes a linen suit jacket and wraps it around me to keep me warm. The jacket seems more like warm weather wear, though. Since it's not enough, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. I wish I could see who he is because I know who I want it to be.

And then my cell phone rings, waking me up.

In my journey as an oneironaut, which has been going on for about 3 to 4 weeks now, this is the first lucid dream I've had that I've been able or thought to exert control over. It happened on the night between the 8th and 9th of this February.
This lucid dream was a DILD, as well as a MILD. In the dream, lucidity was triggered by a hand-based reality check. I had just finished up some classes in my school that confused me and was standing outside in a long queue of students whose purpose I didn't understand. The yard outside was similar to the one from my previous school, rather than my current one; but in this entry, I'm focusing on what happened afterwards.
Suddenly and out of nowhere, I decided to look at my hands. They were white, as is the colour of my real hands; but when I counted the fingers, I had trouble with counting five on one hand. At first, I wondered if I'd miscounted; and tried counting up the fingers on my left hand a couple more times. There was no mistake. I had six fingers.
I recalled what this meant. I wasn't near full dream consciousness, so I doubt I remembered the significance of the event and I didn't remembered what I'd intended to do if I achieved dream lucidity this night. But I did think to control my dream as a result of this realisation; and naturally, my first thought was to fly. I found it fairly easy. I ran a few steps down the ground, kicked off it and took off. I soared high and fast above the heads of my dream characters, who now looked to be in my school's P.E. class.
With a bit of a challenge, I lowered to the ground incompletely, without dropping, and then heightened again. I flew over something that was like a tall wall or hedge or mini-mountain. (Since I wasn't at full consciousness, there were still a lot of things I didn't think to question.) I flew to the top of a giant basketball hoop on the other side and sort of stood on it for a moment before taking off again. My schoolmates still see me perform all these feats at this point. Finally, I decided to give flying a rest and try something different.
I lowered to the ground and attempted running at super-fast speed. I wanted to run as fast as I had been able to fly. Alas, I was not so fortunate in this endeavour, as running in a dream seems to often be frustratingly problematic. Once I was grounded, I struggled through a few steps and fell over. There, I saw a dark-skinned man who was a competitive runner and I wanted to pick myself back up and challenge him to a race, at which I confidently planned to annihilate him with my dream control. (I later discovered that this dream character was supposedly the fastest runner in the world, which indicates that he may have been based on Usain Bolt.)
But this time, I failed as terribly as the last. The man, who now had a crowd of supporters with him, mocked me from above. I tried to pick myself back up and race him again. On the starting line, he blatantly stood ahead of me before it was time to start. I got upset but let him do it in the end because I thought that if I was going to win this race, I would do it regardless of the difference of a metre or two. As we began running, I was still behind; but steadily so. Though I still struggled to run, I felt like I was doing it better than before. And we were running at both the same speed – which wasn’t actually saying much. I found myself wondering then how this character could be the fastest runner in the world. But before any official finish line was crossed, he was gone and I’d crossed into a new territory – the actual yard of my current school. By this time, I had been too immersed in the race to remember that it was just a dream. My lucidity was lost and I went on to dream about classmates and a broken water fountain.

I count fingers - many. I wanted to summon a snowboard race like in olimpic games in Sochi. I flew to mountains and saw some races, but they were not professional. I landed on some race and sunmmon a snowboard behind me. It was on the bench. I took it and put on the ground. I wanted snowboard to fix itself, but failure. So i fixed it by hand. It was about half a minute and i became angry cause i waste my dream time on such a stupid thing. I ride down, but the trace was bad and too high grade.I was upset and flew to find another race. There were less snow and i waned snow, but failure. Don't remember the end of the dream.

Journal Entry Lucid #10 Dream,Lucid, (Comments)
Background: After awakening at 11:44, extremely tired, I used the bathroom and remember little snippets of dreams.
I couldn't try to WILD at that time because I am too tired and would fall asleep too easily. I stayed up and I played BF3 to make myself a little awake and too feel happy because I woke up sad. Around like 1:40, I made myself that avocado mixture, with banana, strawberries, tangerine and berries. I don't think the food made a difference though. I heard Robert Monroe's audio advanced focus 10. Then I thought let me do a WILD. I rolled over to my side with my head resting on my left hand. NO luck, King Yoshi suggested turning over if there is no luck. I rolled on belly and I put both my arms back. Just like he said there was a switch. I immediately fell asleep, I want to stay aware but like he said I went to sleep faster.

Dream fragment 3 from 2:20pm-3:06am" Spinning Technique":
I was playing a race on GTA 5. This guy constructed easy race, from point A to point B. I thought this will be easy and I lost. My sister told me about how easy it is. I wanted a replay so they gave it to me. This time instead of looking at the race. We became curious about the AI of the game. I saw this little blond white girl just standing there. An opponent said, "what do you think that AI is thinking about?" I don't know. We went to get a closer look. She looked lifeless. She stared into space just looking at the cars pass by. She then gave us a face look. She started at us for a couple of seconds and then back. I walked away from the race and went up this little hill thing, into a store. I saw my mother and father there. They asked me to go get some food. I left.I woke up and thought, "I should have been lucid", this was only a second of opportunity and I took it. I went back to the same dream and I gave my parents the food my father was gone. When I handed my mother the food she asked me if I washed my hands. I thought about it and thought back to what I was doing before going to bed. I washed my hands and face I thought.

I realized it was a dream and I started to rub my hands. I controlled my emotions this time. I look around and realized that I was in the bathroom. I said, "Thank you, Lord!" or, "what ever helped me get Lucid" (Meaning myself or something else). I walked out the door like as if not lucid, I didn't want the DC to know I was LD. When I walked through the door I realized that we were in a diner of some sort. I saw a waitress give my mother and my grandmother and sister some food. My dad however was in a different table. I thought why would I dream my dad separated from my mom? I looked around the diner and it looked very dark and dim. The quality of the dream looked sad and depressing. I wanted to lighten the atmosphere up and thought if I could get a little object that is bright in color I could change the whole entire atmosphere. I thought about turning one of the napkins into bright baby blue and red. I looked back and at first it was normal white. I said not good enough. I turned again and it was dark red and brown. I thought I got to escape from my family.

Knowing that my family is overprotective in my dream I tried to sneek out. I looked at my door to my left and I saw a dark looking area, THE VOID as some people like to call it. I look at my right and I see the outside with lights on. I walk out. As I was walking I did a quick RC so that I won't mistake it to be Waking life I looked at my hands and as soon as I was about to start counting I saw a smaller pinky starting to grow out as to make the RC fail. I laughed and said this is a dream. Also my grandmother made some petite excuse to follow me and came along.She said in my language, "Where are you going?" I said, "no where grandma". She kept following me. I told her to mind her own business I will be ok. She didn't listen. I knew that my grandmother always wants her way and if she was anything like my grandmother she is persistent. I turn around and I see another copy of her. I thought oh crap it better not be a demon or prototype just like my last long LD.

I quickly told myself not to say that and I told myself to play with the ridiculous logic of dreams. I was still rubbing my hands BTW. I told my grandmother as we were walking back to the diner that the clone was her twin sister. She didn't respond at first but then she said yeah that is my twin sister. She started speaking English, "Dam she fat though". I laughed because they looked identical. They even had the same cloth on. I thought of a way to get rid of my grandmother. I told her in English hey grandmother your fat twin sister is going to steal your food, you better stop her. She turned around and started walking away I found the window of opportunity and I took it. I started doing the spinning technique. I started seeing all the environment get smudged.

I felt my waking body in my room. I thought I was going to wake up then I got a thought of hope,"don't give up". I stayed in the dream. I started feeling my dream body. I saw it get re-spawned in a freeway. Then it got launched to a parking lot. I thought, "is this GTA 5 environment". The quality of the dream was ugly. The objects looked like cardboard boxes with smudged drawing on them. I started rubbing my hands and started looking at the environment. It started looking realistic but the quality only went to the quality of GTA 5 not waking life. I turned around and looked at the cars and I could see the reflection of the world on the cars. I was content with the quality and I said "Not bad". I then wanted to explore the city and at first was going to drive the sports car that were in the parking lot but instead I flew out of the parking lot. I had no doubt about my flying ability, so I flew with ease. I then gently landed on the street in front of the parking lot. I used my hands gently putting them down as if I was doing telekinesis. After I landed, I thought what should I do. I thought about using telekinesis to pick up cars and stuff but thought of making a training simulation where I am in a all white room and their is different objects there. I imagined a door that will take me to this place. I closed my eyes for one second and realized that the dream might changed. I opened them and saw this black circle across my eyes, you know the one you get when stare at something bright and it leaves and after image. I thought WTH, what do I do?

I woke up. I thought at first that I over loaded my brain by the new task I presented to it but I woke up because I wasn't rubbing my hands. I was using them to fly and stuff. I can't seem to get the dream stable enough to the point I won't have to rub my hand all the time.

Became lucid by: DILD

2.18.14 Tuesday

last night bed 11-9:45

Nap 12:20pm

I was visualizing walking on the same beach as yesterday (whitsunday). But fell asleep.

DR
I'm in US with Valika and Deniska. Valika is buyng a place here, and I'm helping her pick one. I'm telling her she will be so happy living here. Then we are walking on a raised wooden walkway. We come to an old town square. Looks like we are in past, or it's movie props or something. I'm telling V about LDing. Then I tell her "and then you count your fingers, look, like this" And I count 6 fingers. I'm like, wth? I count again, and again, 6 fingers. I look at them and yell out "we are in a dream right now"!

They disappear and I found some people to have sex with.

I wake up and write it all in DJ. I'm so happy with myself, that I remember all the names and details. But only till I wake up again, this time for real.

#284 - SSILD - 4:45ish?

I had a natural WBTB way early at around 12:44AM but went ahead and took my Amino Acid Blend. I intended to SSILD but passed out too hard, too fast.

I have several vivid NLDs but only remember one where I was still married to my wife but was also dating an ex girlfriend. Apparently, they were both fine with it all and I felt strong love and affection for both of them simultaneously.

When I woke from that I berate myself and managed some proper SSILD cycles

I am on a beach with my wife and kids that I think of being some part of Charleston, SC. I swim into the water with my older daughter and quickly notice that this part of the ocean is bathtub warm and very brown. Disgusting.For some reason I start taking video of my daughter with my phone in the water. There's some vertigo and I feel like I may drown.

After a lot of struggle I manage to get back on shore. I spot an area where the water is clear and blue with white sand and palm trees. We decide that's a better spot and swim out into it. I see some smaller kids playing on some structure in shallow water. My son is among them and he is smiling at me. I tell him 'Hi' as I pass by. I come to a rock formation and climb up it. After closer inspection, I notice all of this is a man made pool that looks like beach and ocean. I look around and think maybe we are in some part of inland bay area. I pull my phone out to check the GPS. Google Maps confirms my suspicion and I use a type of Street View function to teleport to a road that leads to the actual beach.

As we walk, I notice the streets are full of water. I question how there can be any flooding and look up at the sky. There are very dark storm clouds coming inland. As I look out toward the sea, I see a terrible storm approaching with many tornadoes on the water. I shout, "Hurricane!" at my daughters and try to get them to run with me. My younger daughter is too scared and hides in a rack of clothing like in a department store.

I think it was the tornadoes or maybe the clothes rack on the sidewalk, but I realize this must be a dream. I still feel the need to get everyone out of the area but I feel like I can't move and my daughter still won't cooperate. I hear a woman's voice over an intercom saying some warning about the Hurricane. I feel a need to escape and have a moment where the dream fades to black. I calm myself and focus on the dream to avoid the void.

I look at Google Maps again and see several red dots that I think must represent my wife and whoever else I came with. They seem to be back where I was earlier and I remember that I teleported.If I teleported here I can teleport someplace else. I still feel the need to bring everyone with me but decide I should just let them go. I have to remind myself its just a dream.

I play with Google Maps some more and zoom out and rotate. I see the area and note the general shape of the coast line to compare it with the actual waking map. I see lettering marking the names of areas but it's all in some strange form of Spanish that I cannot even try to remember (Probably just gibberish). I zoom out some more and notice the area I am on is separated by a something like a river. I find this a little confusing but let it go.

I zoom way out and let my mind wander. I find something like a small isolated continent divided into two countries. I zoom on the right side and see it's labeled Somalia. I zoom on the left side and it's labeled Burma. I decide Burma might be nice even-though I know this map is all wrong.

I am not sure on the mechanics of this mode of teleportaton so I don't try. I just focus on seeing landscapes and let my mind bring what it wants. I see some empty beach, then something like an arid, yellowish, crag with steam shooting out. It makes me think of kind of sulfuric fumarole. I don't want any part of that so I continue searching but I lose lucidity.

I find myself sitting on a cushion at a low table with three Arabic men. There is a meal before us and we begin eating while engaging in conversion. I dish myself something that looks like the end of a very large octopus tentacle. It's cooked and split partially in half like the bread at Subway. There is some red meat inside that looks like beef and I put some sort of sauce on it. As I eat I vividly notice the texture and not so much the taste; it's something like tough marshmallows. I soon wake up.

By the way, I was really close with my view of the coast line. It's not quite Charelston but it's really close. I've never been here nor do I recall ever looking it up.

Also, it's interesting that I have thought of using a method of teleporting before but never tried it. Though, the dream set me up for it this time, I think it is something I could perfect... hopefully.

So I am going through a roundabout where I have a vision of a website saying something about beleiving the dream will guide itself how you want it. I try this but lose focus for a nanosecond ruining it. Then I was finding a group working for a villian thinking of saving the victims and backstabing. The dream told me I my dc's soul mate ( a totm thing) and I think mine is the same person. Now I just have to ask

was I right.

2.17.14 Monday

Last night, bed 11:30:5am, watching Thor before bed, also voice skyping with OP

DR 2:35
In a store, shopping cart

DR 5am
I'm on a tour of a factory with 3-4 more classmates. (We used to take tours like this from school.) Tour is over and I realize we can buy some things for good prices, so I walk back and see all the products they have. It looks more like a grocery store warehouse then a factory, because of a sortiment. I see some large tubs of cream chese, and I know I want to buy certain kind. As I'm walking back, I see hot sauces on shelves, crackers, bunch of stuff. I keep walking back to the "good items". Someone tells me tour is over, but he will stay behind with me. Others have left, since you have to leave exactly on time.

Employee tells me, I need to go to the director for some paperwork and he shows me how to get there on a mental map.

I walk outside of the large building, towards the director's place. A female employee joins me to show me the way. She goes for my boobs (I remembered this part in the shower, lol). So I somehow lose her and I sit down nearby. I see an old friend of mine. She cut her hair short. I hope she didn't see me. She is walking by slowly, and I pretend I don't see her. She stops behind me and says mine name, hoping that she is right. I turn around and say her last name in surprise. She really looks different. She mentions some things from our past.

We get together to directors office. It's a small cubicle in another factory building. She (he) tells me, that I have been fired twice before. Once from company called Rakuten, and the other time, when I was a taxi driver in Ukraine, and was late picking up a client. She only tells me this after I insist. I tell her, there is no company of that name in my country, and I have never in my life been to Ukraine. So I figured, that factory rakuten had to be there too. So it was clear, she didn't have the right paperwork.

Next door is some kind of a dormitory. We go there with this friend of mine. She is now both, the friend from old times, and OpheliaBlue. I'm falling asleep and I start seeing patterns and lights. I whisper to her loud "I'm about to WILD". Reason being, that I'm hoping others int he room will stay quiet, and I want to share my joy with her. I don't get the headrush or any transition, but I do get into a WILD. (Possibly just a dream about WILDing.)

As I "get lucid", I start climbing out over windows and stuff. I keep my lucidity for quite a while and every few seconds I tell myself that. I'm quite happy how long I'm holding the lucidity. Then I think "oh, I just thought about waking up, so I will", but I also know, that it will not happen, because I'm a good LDer.

It's morning now, and my friend/Ophelia askes me to give her her thing, that she needs to mail to her dentist. I pull out a small plastic baggy. Two fly-sized bugs or creatures from the bag get on my left hand. In the space between fingers and the thumb. One by one they start to burrow in my flesh. It hurts like hell. I try to pull them out, but I have a feeling, their heads detached and they keep burrowing deeper.

I end up in a large room, that resembles dining hall from Harry Potter. But the tables are not alongsied, but across, like they would be in a library, or a classroom. I know I'm infected from those bugs. Suddenly, these tiny white pustules shop up all over my body. They are perfectly round, and they light up. As if fluorescent. Someone from the desk in front of me turns to me and we talk. I see immediatelly, that she got infected as well. I know that, because she starts to giggle and talk to another person, and that apparently is a sign of infection. The person she talks to get's infected, giggles and talks to another person. Pretty soon the whole hall is infected. Few min later, my spots are gone. Int he back of the hall, there is another room. It's now full of people that are getting into next stage of infection. They are getting bit aggressive and their hands and fingers are getting curled up like claws. Someone unlocks the door with a regular, old fashioned key and one person is trying to get out of that other room. I push the door shut and lock it again.

But just to be sure, I fly up close to the ceiling and exit through some windows. I'm on a street. Sidewalks are covered by some roof. It looks like at the train station, where there are these roofs on pillars. I assume these are to protect people from some flying threat. It could be, that infected people will turn into these flying things.

#283 - WILD - 7:06AM

I wake from a NLD and go into WILD. It's slow coming so I focus to a point outside of my body.
I feel strange but I am not sure if I am dreaming yet or not. I imagine my feet moving to the floor and instantly stand.

I go into the living room and can see pretty well. The house seems dark but the sun is blazing through the blinds. As I go out, I notice my wife sitting quietly on the couch holding my son. We exchange hellos as I pass. Then, I pause at the front door feeling unsure. This dream is really vivid and lifelike. I ask, "So... Am I dreaming?" She replies but I can't quiet hear her and she seems to be changing the subject. I ask again, "Well, am I dreaming? Because, I am about to go outside like this." I assume I am wearing just my underwear but I suddenly feel like I have a blanket wrapped around me.
My wife says, "Yeah. Because, you had to wait 15 years to get a new engagement ring."
I realize is to total non-sense and that her face looks a little shifty and odd. I say, "Yeah, your talking gibberish. I love you, babe." I then continue outside.

The dream become hyper vivid and realistic once I step out. I enjoy and clear and clear my dream sight is as I walk around. I decide to practice my flying and float up off the ground a few feet. It becomes very windy now and I notice how warm and nice the air feels. As I float up, I look past my house and see a section of the old downtown buildings in the distance. I notice how in-focus it is and laugh because downtown is the other way.

I look around the near by houses and hope that my neighbors will see me and be impressed that I can fly. There is no one around so I let it go. I decide I am flying too slow, so I try a huge downward thrust with my arms to propel myself high up. I hear a low booming sound and find that I am lost in a clear blue sky; there is no ground in any direction.

The void over takes me, but I hold on. I imagine myself lowing down to the ground and feeling the impact on my feet. I begin walking back in the direction of my house until I can see it. The house looks different as I find myself walking up the step on to the porch. The front door is a pale pink color with mauve trimming. When I open the front door the house looks like a version of my parents old place. I decide to try my painting again imagine the art supplies are in the closet under the staircase. I think, Ok, now I just need my easel As I reach for the closet door, I wake up.

#282 - DILD - 6:03AM

I have another short LD but I fall back to sleep before I can record it. Unfortunately, I completely forgot it after this dream.

I find myself standing in a very small kitchen deep in thought about the LD I just had. There is an older woman cooking at the stove with her back to me. I realize she is talking to someone. I hear my ex respond. She is standing with her back to a fridge next to me. She says something about how people keep dumping blankets and stuff at her job.

I suddenly remember I am dreaming but feel awkward so I don't move or say anything. Her brother walks up from around the corner and stands on the other side of my ex. He looks at me and seems happy to see me. I am shock about this so I just smile and nod. The thing I notice the most is how clean cut and nicely dressed he looks. His beard is neatly trimmed and he got rid of all that neck hair. We say hi like old friends.

I finally reply to what my ex said about her job, "Yeah. Well, people are bitches." We all laugh and I give a nervous glance to the woman at the stove that I now perceive as their grandmother. My ex says something and I have to ask her to repeat. It was something like, "Yeah, I hear ya."

I begin to feel bored with this scenario so I rebel against the dream. Say to my ex, "You're a fucking whore anyway." I laugh like I am just joking. Her and her brother laugh with me. I start to walk away and see a clean spot on the fridge as I pass. The white empty space reminds me of a canvas and I FINALLY remember my goal. I say, "Oh you know what? I was going to do a painting." I wake.

#281 - WILD - 4:57

I WILD and transition again. The music is back but I am more interested in seeing. The dream is very unstable and I have to crawl in the dark looking at the hardwood floor. I see three women sitting in the floor watching TV. I begin to feel menthol's side effect and reach out to one. I imagine her naked next to me but something doesn't feel right. I reach for a second one and pull her head first toward me. I proceed to throat fuck her. Some embarrassing and odd things happen, then she vanishes, leaving blue rags to clean myself with.

#280 - WILD - 4:45

I WILD after falling a sleep then waking. I feel as if I am falling. There are mild vibes. I transition and start to go into the living room but notice the there is someone in the bathroom. I enter to see small boy brushing his teeth on a step stool at the sink. I ask who he is but he only answers by spitting in the sink. I pick him up and start to carry him out of my house but the more I look at him the more he turns into my son. I stop, "Oh. Ok. Well you go ahead then." I begin to hear some kind of oldies music but ignore it.

I leave the bathroom and make my way into the darkness of the house to head outside. I have some vision trouble and a point where I felt like I was opening my physical eyes but was clearly seeing parts of the living room. I go with it and go out.

I stabilize with my hands as I walk around. The only thing I can see is where the moon light is hitting spots on the ground through the tree limbs. I look up at the moon and I see a hyper detailed, crisply focused full moon. I pause enjoying the visuals as silhouettes of butterflies flutter in place. There is a brief void then, I see birds taking flight from tree branches toward the moon. I wake up unexpectedly.

I was standing on a square, orange-yellow platform. The platform had no depth. It was about 8ft by 8ft. I was standing next to a girl. We were surrounded by dark, vast nothingness. I didn't say anything, but I thought to myself. "I am dreaming." Then I woke up because I got too excited.

#279 - DILD - 4:02AM

I fail a WILD and find myself cleaning an area at work. It's a small desk with a computer and printer. I notice how unbelievable sparse the office space is and worry that it looks like I haven't been working much. I have stray thoughts about lucid dreaming and suddenly realize I was trying to WILD. I laugh when I realize that I must think about this stuff all the time.

I leave the desk and explore this strange version of my workplace. The building is mostly empty and there seems to be no one in sight. I have an overwhelming feeling of loving my job. I feel happy to be at work. I shout out, "Hey! I love it here!" I get the familiar feeling of how odd it is to be yelling while I'm asleep.

I see L sitting at a low table. I have issues with him in waking life and my first instinct was to punch him in the face. I remember that I have been thinking and tentatively practicing loving kindness in waking life, so I stop myself. I decide to project loving kindness to ward him but I over do it. I tackle him in a hug and tell him that I love him. I tell him he is really a good guy and I begin to really believe it. I think maybe I just misunderstand him. The dream destabilizes and I have a FA.

I try to DJ the dream but I can't see the screen. I think I must have my dimmer all the way and I try to guess at the app controls hoping to turn it up. Suddenly, I feel very tired and sluggish. I collapse over to my side. I hear the dog in the master bathroom and know that she is never in there. I realize I must still be dreaming. Then I hear my younger daughter calling for me and my son beginning to cry. I keep telling myself this is all fake but I can't seem to move. My wife touches me and asks me if I am ok. I wake up.