lucid

Lucid Diving

I am watching something that one of my friends posted on social media. It is a video of herself talking about how you should not limit yourself to just one boyfriend or girlfriend. As long as you don’t do anything to make the other ones jealous, you can have three of them or so until you get married (three at once, that is). She makes an analogy to buying a car. This speech surprises me and kind of upsets me, because I didn’t think she was that kind of a girl. I think about making some reply to her…

…I am sitting somewhere looking at a picture of a house on the internet. I realize that this house looks just like the one that is in front of me across the street. What a coincidence! Then I think that perhaps I should do a reality check. Sure enough, it’s a dream.

I go down to a pond (or river, perhaps). I decide that it would be interesting to go under water. The pond is kind of dirty and murky, but that doesn’t matter too much since this is a dream. I dive in. It is difficult to see, so I call out for more clarity or visibility, or something. The water lightens up and it is easier to see. I think I also do another reality check to reinforce my lucidity. I dive down to the bottom. I think it would be neat to see how far down I can go, even through the bottom, so I kind of start digging into the sediment. Then I think I have a false awakening…

…(Not sure if this is the same dream. I feel like it was.) Instructing students in a lab. Part of the lab involves using a microscope (in my dream it’s called a laser scanner, or something). I don’t really remember how to use it, and I try to get someone to show me…

Fragments

…There is a mem about some political figure. I look for this online, in the context of Star Trek…

…Something involving a scene that, earlier, I was supposed to remember and sketch for some reason (I think). There is a stop sign hanging from the ceiling, and some tough superhero-type guy there. I know at some point he is going to knock the sign down…

Created Tuesday 21 July 2020

What a relief. Thought I was on another dry-spell.

Spoiler for Kinda a long read:

Scrap Group 1
In a swamp during a clear day. A temporary structure made of steel frames and scaffolding was set up. I was part of a security team sent to guard the area from threats. At one point, my cousin Naomi stops by to talk with me. We spoke of the presidential election and finance. Later, a horde of deformed mindless Titans (as per Attack on Titan) appeared out of nowhere. I used superpowers to blast them. However, a few slipped by, doling out casualties before I could deal with them. Much later on, a train fell out of the sky, and plowed right into the dirt. The other guards and I hurried to rescue any living passengers. Most people were surprisingly in one piece. That is, besides anyone in the cars most deeply buried in the ground, in which only the conductor survived by miraculous circumstances. I then 'remembered' my compiling a list of the names of everyone that was in that train some days before this accident happened. Figured I'd unwittingly taken part in a conspiracy to have one of the victims killed off. I felt really guilty and ashamed for this. The other guards tried reassuring me I wasn't to blame. Then, cut to a scene from Fullmetal Alchemist. Something about Colonel Mustang preparing to ascend to a much higher position within the government.

Spectator mode. A man was going to a train station located deep in a swamp. Suddenly, a blue gorgon (the kind with a snake tail instead of legs) rises from the fountain. She goads the terrified man into getting closer. The guy's soon wrapped in her coils, and is swallowed whole.

Dream 1 - Clear Aqueous Golem LD - Part 1

The visuals were clear. FA on the bed of an unknown home, daylight seeping through the windows. There were very few walls, or even rooms, revealing the structure's surprising width. Distinctly, almost every table and similar furniture in the area had at least one small vase of purple flowers on each of their surfaces. Various different views could be seen out of each windows. On one side, there was a cityscape. Out another was swampland. And out from another, the colorful tents of an amusement park could be seen in the horizon. Several unseen figures could be heard chatting in another room.

It didn't take long for me to get aware. I walked out the bed, past a living room, and to a kitchen in the far end. Had a bit of trouble moving around at first, but I got used to it. I approached the largest window there, which had inexplicably been covered in blinds. False memories led me to believe there was a beach outside. I opened up the blinds, expecting to find as much. Instead, I found a stream within a grassy slope, mangroves growing on the other side, and
urban buildings visible several blocks behind that. Despite how bright it was, there was an overcast sky above.

I invoked more false memories to make me 'remember' my encountering a bizarre creature in the stream: a woman made of ectoplasm (let's call her, Clarity). Heedlessly, I jumped back-first into the water. Only when I was floating in it did I realize how murky this stream was; I couldn't see deeper than a meter. Still, it was at least refreshingly cool.

Not long after, I sensed something viscous surrounding me. This soon rose as an odd, transparent, colorless sludge rippling against the stream. A head formed, mostly featureless, but feminine, much like a mannequin. Seems my conjuration worked. I didn't quite expect her to appear this way, though it wasn't an unpleasant surprise.

For the next minute, I thoroughly observed the ectoplasm composing Clarity, squeezing and rubbing it between my fingers. In addition to being very gooey, it was quite cold. Yet, it quickly softened up and evaporated in one's hands. This was all unusually... soothing.

Concurrently, I thanked the odd woman for showing up in my dream. I spoke about some big plans I had for the dream. Can't remember what, only that I needed her help. Clarity spoke in compliance to my schemes, her voice deep and a bit echoey. I then levitated out of the water, though her slime weighed me down considerably.

Just then, the dream collapsed. Made a DEILD attempt after recalling all of the dream's details, but I dozed off.

Scrap Group 2
Short scene of being in an urban area during an overcast day. I walked over a small bridge. Talked with some supposed acquaintances as well.

Dream 2 - Clear Aqueous Golem LD - Part 2

Scene 1 - Titan Eating Construct
The visuals were mostly clear, and became more vivid over time. FA in the house mentioned above. Although I knew this wasn't reality, I only suspected I was in a daydream or dreamlet at the moment.

I darted around, seeing clear twilight skies outside the windows. It was then that I noticed a full moon. On a closer look, the moon was fractured, if not shattered,yet its parts retained cohesion. I glanced out another window to see yet another moon, also fragmented.

By now, I was sure I was dreaming. I had a lot more trouble getting out of bed than before. It took almost two minutes before I could float myself off from the mattress.

I quickly flew outside and back to the stream. There, I waited for Clarity to return. For the fun of it, I conjured a 6m titan, which flashed in from nothingness beside me. It slowly closed in. But, I wasn't afraid. At that moment, Clarity erupted from the water. She then enveloped the hideous titan. Seconds later, the monster was completely assimilated into her mass.

Now, the slime construct had a more definite shape. She appeared as a lithe woman made entirely of clear ectoplasm, standing about 20ft tall. As before, she was mostly featureless, not even having a face. Her liquid form also gave her trouble standing straight; her torso writhed and pivoted if she tried. Thus, she spent much of her time hunched over.

Noticing the moon above us, I opted to fly us both there. I grabbed her by the shoulders, and tried blasting off. But, I couldn't get much higher than about 10 meters. So, I dived back-first to the ground to teleport to the moon instead. Warp.

Scene 2 - Blind Moon Elevator Ride
The visuals were terrible. I only had part of my left eye open before I lost vision completely. Before I got blind, I noticed black text scrolling by on a white screen, and I could catch a glimpse of being in a cave. I felt around, worried I'd lost the dream. But, catching hold of Clarity' large, gooey hand reassured me a bit. So, I tasked her with leading me around until I regained my sight.

"Where are we?', I asked her. "What do you see?"

Clarity hesitated a moment before speaking. "We're... somewhere underground. A stone cave. I see... panels. There's blinking lights on them. And, there... an elevator! There's an elevator over there!"

The creature dragged me around. Soon, she crammed the both of us into a small space. Shortly after, I felt us being translated all over the place. If this was an elevator, it was capable of far more than just move up and down.

My vision soon returned. Although it was dark, the glow of blinking lights let me see enough. I was indeed in a lift of some kind. The goo construct was crouched beside me, her form occupying much of the space. I could hardly move, or even breathing. Soon, the dream collapsed.

At first there were only people that came and went within the walls of some facility. Then, the shot is that of a skinny young lad dressed in green uniform. I think he worked as a security guard. He stood behind a screen, overseeing the premises and calling out people when their turn was due. Those named would then have an appointment with a lady of short black hair.

I noticed they had trouble locating one of their clients, a mother with her child; the boy would be no older than 10. I can see her son outside the reception, waiting in line for his turn, but his mother is missing. I had a memory of watching her run to the restroom with tears in her eyes. They seemed like a humble little family. I cut back to the security officer. Her boss was impatient because her clients had not arrived.

The scene changed in the blink of an eye. I sat on a desk in a classroom. There's a whiteboard at the front wall. To my right was a good friend of mine (I misremembered whom exactly when I woke up). I scanned the area and spotted another one of my friends seated behind me.

"Well look who it is, M. N., doctor in medicine," I said with a smile. He knew I was messing with him. He chuckled, then got back to his things.

We three chat for a while until a teacher entered the view, a young lady, the same lady from the reception. She ordered to open our books to page 327 (might be around the 300 - 400 pages) then went ahead to write on the board.

Everyone pulled out their books except me. I couldn't find mine. I stared at the other desks and saw it had a hardcover with green all around. My desk was enclosed by bookshelves standing on my left and front sides. My eyes jumped from left to right of each shelf but every different book inside was green. I grabbed any random one, turned to the page, but it didn't match the one from my friends. I returned it anxiously. My vision was cloudy by now, I couldn't see nor think straight. The teacher was drawing a series of squares on the board, was this an art class? She paced around the room, verifying everyone had their book. Then, a false memory hit me; I saw the book I wanted inside my backpack.

Once again my view jumped and this time, a small rectangular window came into view. This was a different room, a bedroom. Contrary to the classroom, which was overcrowded and noisy, there was only a bed and a window here. The bed was to my left, like the bookshelf was before it. I stared at the window, it was so blue outside. I noticed my perspective getting sucked bit by bit into it. The more I focused on the window, the more drawn to it and the easier it was for me to move toward it. As I approached the bed I feared bumping on it but my worries dwindled when I saw I could glide over it. I kept coming closer to the other side until it dawned on me that this was a dream. I don't know what it was that made me know, but the whole experience of concentrating on that window made me remember of the truth of things.

Upon that realization I started backtracking now. Soon, I went up in the sky between clouds and sun. A city extended below. I wanted to walk the streets, their districts and landmarks, I wanted to explore. What lied in the distance? But I kept pulling away, removed from everything.

I prod my mind and it was so easy this time, where is my real body?

It's obvious isn't it, my real body is lying in bed, and this is a dream.

Sure enough, I could feel my body in bed and my consciousness inside my head within the dream. An uncomfortable sensation began growing inside. I knew where this ended, what it meant. It stopped around my waist. I don't want to leave! The dream felt distant now, my awareness trapped in between it and the real world. I wanted to go inside, to feel completely in the dream world, if only for a few minutes. I wanted to stop moving. I thought about going forward this time, I commanded in my head of my intention, but it was of no use. I went back and flew as far away until I woke up in my bed.



I must learn dream control, though I'm glad for another lucid dream, however short.

Saturday Night, 7/18/20

I had an FA. I noticed that the perspective was wrong for waking up; I was looking down on my bed. I floated around the room a bit, confirming I was dreaming. I noticed the room was vague and the dream did not feel very stable. I aimed for the floor of my room and landed, bounced up and down a little trying to feel the carpet on the soles of my feet. I could hear a soft crunching sound, like the sound of velvet being gently crushed. The dream faded anyway, my vision going black. However, I still felt more connected to the dream than to my waking life body so I tried to imagine "throwing" myself back into the dream. I opened my eyes, a bit uncertain whether it would work, but it did. I was back in my room standing on the ground. I floated again to confirm. Up near the ceiling I grabbed onto the top of the cube structure where there was a wooden platform (it's sort of like the top of a bookcase). I alternated between staring at the wood grain and rubbing my hand across the wood. Sure enough the grains of the wood became incredibly detailed and lifelike. Looking around I could now see the lines on the palms of my hands, the bumps on the blue walls, the sharp outlines of various pieces of furniture.

Satisfied that the dream was fully stabilized, I phased through the window of my room and glided over the land below. It was quite beautiful out, sunrise coloring the clouds. Although my backyard was much bigger than in waking life it was otherwise consistent with its current configuration. At least up until the stand of bamboo at the far end. Behind there and off to the right, instead of a fence, I found an open plot of dirt with a partially built lighthouse. At last! I thought, Although, I was kind of hoping to have it by an ocean... I considered that on the one hand it was convenient to have it close to my house but on the other hand I would have to use some trick of the mind in order to make use of it as I'd originally planned, as a lighthouse by the sea.

Off to my left a woman and two young children were wandering from the bamboo forest into my backyard. I waved at the family. The youngest child, the boy, seemed to be the only one who saw me. He tried to get his mother and sister to look over. The mother squinted in my general direction and shrugged before continuing on her way. The little boy looked confused. I told him not to worry about it. It wasn't clear if he could hear me. I returned my attention to the lighthouse and saw that the first floor was thoroughly encased in rock and therefore inaccessible. I had planned to have steps carved into rock leading up to the base of the building and I mused that the dream must have constructed it this way like a bug in a video game when it was placed somewhere different from the intended landscape. The next two floors were far smaller than I'd planned. Beyond that it was completely unfinished. I began planning how I would fix it and build it out as if I were using Minecraft blocks. I wondered if I should leave it with its current black and white colors or change them to match the colors I'd planned for it when I designed it in waking life. I had only just begun modifying the structure when I heard a loud sound. Annoyed, I looked up to see that some random guy on a motorcycle had ridden up and parked behind the lighthouse, apparently oblivious to my presence. When I saw that he wasn't going to interfere further I tried to return my concentration to the task at hand but the dream faded into a different scene and I lapsed into non-lucidity.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

Made progress on two of my LD goals: creating a lighthouse and experimenting with dream cartography. The lighthouse is a place I designed in waking life that I had never encountered in a dream before. Basically I was trying to incubate it by creating drawings, written pieces, and even a design in Minecraft creative mode (which is no doubt why I ended up modifying it with Minecraft blocks in this dream). This was my first success in finding/creating the lighthouse in an LD, although I'd come across a version of it briefly in a non lucid once. I'd originally planned to build it from scratch near a particular recurring beach location. Instead I found it partially constructed... in my backyard. I didn't actively work to recall my waking life goal during the LD as I usually would, instead I just explored and found what I needed quickly. That makes this my first successful LD incubation attempt, as well.

Additionally, I've been wanting to not only map out my recurring dream locations but to experiment with creating new ones and testing their level of permanence and the permanence of the connections between dream locations. Behind the bamboo in my backyard happens to be one spot I'd considered using for experimentation as I'd rarely gone into the bamboo area in dreams and never off to the right. Apparently my subconscious decided to combine two ideas and gave me a partial lighthouse in that spot. I think I'll just find some way to work with this development. Maybe I'll use the lighthouse like a TARDIS lol.

Another side note: When I was very young my dad started building a wooden playhouse in the backyard and never finished it (eventually we took it down). This seems to be a symbolic reference to that, although I'm not sure why.

When I came back from the restroom I was arguing with Myrna about the nature of destiny and if life was predestined from the beginning. None of us were backing down from the argument, and I was getting frustrated. At last I reached my tipping point and sat down outside the bathroom doors. Myrna continued along the hallway with Cesar until they reached the end. It was a hall with beige marble walls facing a long mirror. While I had dinner a waiter stood nearby. Myrna waits enough to get desperate and walks back to me. I realize it's time to leave, so I get up to put an end to this childish tantrum.

"It's getting late! Look, you forgot the papers!" she says, while opening the door to the restrooms.

I follow her to a most elegant and sparkling facility of crystal black marble walls. She brakes step by the door to one of the bathroom stalls and opens it. What I saw when I turned to look was a toilet with the lid down, and on top of it, a small piece of parchment, nicely folded (my reality check). I worriedly grab it and we leave to meet up with Cesar.

We turned the corner and reached a foyer. People are lined on either side facing an entrance. Cesar sits on a bench in the center, waiting for us.

The next thing I know is that we're sitting in a small theater. A movie is projected on a widescreen; it is a horror film. I can hear Ara's screams echoing around the theater; she's always like this when watching anything scary.

"Ara where are you!" I shout.

A voice booms overhead, without a specific source, "Well, find out where I'm sitting!" I scan the area but it is very dark to see. It takes me a little while but I spot her silhouette by the front seats to my left. A skeleton appears on the screen. Everyone screams. Ara laughs hysterically.



I'll skip now to the moment I got lucid as the next sections of the dream are not relevant to tell. Moments prior to this stage in the dream, I heard a voice convey to me that demons could be seen if we directed our gaze to the upper left corner of our vision.



I see a play or theater room. The space opened to a large rectangular area below a step. There were sliding doors to the front and right sides of the room. A couple of windows to the back allowed for some light to shine through. Some cushions and a white sofa were neatly organized around. Not much is happening here except I'm growing scared but I don't know why. I remember then what the voice had said.

I play out the words in my head again and again, There is a demon on the upper left corner of my vision. I do not want to look but curiosity slowly pulls my head against resistance. In that remembrance, of the voice, of the dreaded words, I recall a similar event from another dream, a lucid dream. In it I had feared a monster at the other side of a door. It is through this memory that I finally find out I'm dreaming.

I hear the words, this is a dream, loud and clear in my head. I see nothing in the upper left corner of my vision.

With that I immediately feel different; it is a familiar sensation, a lucid sensation. Lucid, I'm uncertain on what it is I want to do. I change places. A corridor (there's always a corridor) appears before me. I believe I haven't left this residence. I'm fearful once more. Then, I remember MoonageDaydream's advice, about facing what scares you. Doing this is intimidating to me, but I reason there is nothing to lose by trying. I stand resolute and hope whatever it is I see isn't traumatizing. Nothing ever comes out from anywhere, to my fortune.

My vision now spins without me intending it. I can only make out a set of windows, one after the other. While I keep spinning I know I'm losing grip of the dream. I remember Sageous' advice here; he commented we should use this moment of lucidity to recover the memory of our sleeping body.

Where is my body? Where is my real body? I ask numerous times. I can't seem to remember where it is my body lies! I concentrate, though I am so drowsy! I can't for the life of me access this thought, yet I can feel my real body lying in bed. It doesn't take me long to finally wake up to reality.

This time I'm on a vast field, seems like a farm, a girl is riding a pony, attached to some wooden wagon. She's going around an aplpe tree, my view zooms into the girls face, and I notice she's a friend from my childhood. I feel transported to the wagon, I hang right behind it, but my friend haven't noticed. I grip and hold on tighter as she picks up the speed, now my feet are flapping in the air, just like a flag! The pressure in my hands are building so much that I feel an uncomftable pain, in the center of the palm, I let go one of my hands, just to see what's causing the pain. (To my surprise Im still holding an amethyst pendulum, that I wrapped around my fingers, before drifting to deep sleep!) I look at my hand, and it looks purple/blue! I'm dreaming! I immediately let go my other hand and get left behind with the wind.

I have landed in a small western village, to the distance I see I sign, apparently they're giving away some used items. I feel transported towards the sign and it has chaged to some other kind of advertaisment, I decide to take another glance at my hands and a quick rubbing. I go in the shop, and I don't see anybody at first, I look to my right, and two cowboys are aproaching towards me. They're holding two black frames, in both of them I see two naked cowboys, just wearing a brown hat, a big belt with shiny buckles and decorations, around their waste, and the typical cowboy boots. One of them says with an accent: "doh ya' wunt hem?" I say: "sure!" (thinking I could use them to frame my own artworks).
The other man asks: "are ya' from tha city?". I say: "no, but I live near the woods". He asks again: " do ya' know how to milk a cow?" (The instant click for the TOTM!!). I say: "no, but I bet I can milk one of ya'll hats!, this time I spin around to stabilize the dream, and when I slow down I ask one of the man: " may I have your hat?" he says: " well let's see what ya' can do!", then he hands me the brown hat.
I grabbed the hat by each end and start twisting it slowly, as it gets tighter and tighter, the hat starts to shrink. (I think I'm screwed, because that's not how someone would usually milk a cow!), so I turned the hat vertically and I started doing a pulling down motion, slowly, from the bottom end.

The hat is now looking more like a piping pastry bag, two silky drops coming down towards the floor! it works!, the man are just staring at it. I kneeled down, and I smell some honey with a hint of onion. (shit it must be the sweat of his forehad, I think) I dip my finger in it, and then tasted it, and as I tought, sweet and salty...I spitted out, and goes right on the man's boot, he reacts by saying: "dem boya' got lot'all boooaaalls!. I feel a punch coming, and I douge it. I try to run as fast as I can but I get tangled in one of the frames, one of the man grabs my shirt and shreds it off.. I drop to the floor and crawl under a counter, covered by some fabric, then I 'm looking at an uneven board, I see is a compartment on the floor, I opened quickly and go in some secret staircase. Now is pitch black, and I can feel my WL body, so I remain ralaxed. Then my body starts shaking..! (it's my youngest son Gabriel, rocking me back and fort, because he needs my company by his bed..so I go with him.

Spoiler for amethyst pendulum :

I am inside a building, it's really dark inside. A girl is helping a boy to find is hat. I offer my help and start searching in the a dark hallway. I see something brown, couple of feet away. As I get there, I see a brown cowboyhat, I ask them: " is this the one your looking for?". She says: "yes, you found it! I give it to the girl, she reshapes, cleans, and gives it to the boy. I see he's wearing the hat happily.

Now I'm outside, in front of a metal gate or some mesmerizing structure. My vision focuses on a specific spot, then I zoom into a small, round screen, with vertical lines. I'm absorbed by the screen, and transport myself inside one of the gaps, only a small niddle would fit through.

I'm foating inside the structure and is dark, but as I look upwards, I see some silhouettes floating. It seems to be animal figures, foating altogether, in a horizontal line. As a wonder in amazement I find my own hands! I Immediately know I'm dreaming, I wonder around, so I feel I need stabilize the dream by doing a quick RC, by checking closely my hands. My right one seems smaller, and my left one has 6 fingers. I look a few objects and back to my hands, then a little rubbing. It's pretty stable the dream, and I look at the wall to see if I can find a clock to track time. To my surprise there's a round clock, it's around 3:30. I see is glowing and has an image. I'm going to keep walking, but I feel the need to see the image. First I see an electric guitar, as I keep staring at it, there's Jesus holding the guitar, facing sideways, and he's carrying a drum around his shoulder.

I walk outside the building, but feels more like a house now. Outside is kind of foggy, but rainbow colors all around. To my left I see some pine trees and I see some hunters shooting from a distance. I quickly walk towards a garage and I try to close the door but It only closes halfway ; the hunters arrive and pull the door upwards. I'm halfway lucid, so I tell one of them: "just shoot me", while I put my chest out. Then I change mi mind, I'm don't want to get shot! They drop some bullets, and I start juggling them, pretty much struggling. I feel the tension building, until finally get shot in the stomach! ( a red light blinks, is nothing but the REM mask! Dang it!

No techniques used, just had some intention and slept an hour longer than usual.

In a normal dream some seven hours after first going to bed I slowly realized that I was dreaming and that I could take control. When I was fully lucid I "woke up" in my bed though, but by RCing I caught the false awakening. Trying to get up I noticed that I could barely move. So, I carefully rolled to the side and put my feet on the floor. I still couldn't stand up and so I let myself slide to the floor next to the bed. I hoped to gain more control over my dream body when getting further away, so I crawled through the room. This felt kinda strange because I could move through the furniture to some extent. Somehow I came to imagine being in a transparent sphere which I could roll by pushing the sides. Like this, I moved around a bit until I awoke again in the bed.

I RCed again just to be sure and surprisingly I was still dreaming (I could have guessed because I heard someone snoring in the other room - with nobody there). Realizing I was still too groggy to go anywhere I sat up and simply meditated. Everything got completely still immediately. Then, I woke up for real.

(Note: The longer my dreams are, the harder it is for me to remember details, particularly conversations, and this was a long one. There’s several hours’ worth of material here that I can only remember happened at all because I can remember remembering it in a later part of the dream, and this does raise questions of whether they ever actually played out. But, for what it’s worth, it doesn’t feel to me as if that’s what happened, and I do have many cases of knowing dream memory is working in that way to compare it to.)

The earliest part I can remember is of a disaster taking place, a flood sweeping through a public building of some kind. Everybody is trying to get out. I’m one of the last out, but I wait, holding the door open so that the waters don’t forcibly close it and trap the one person who’s still there. It took him a while to believe this was actually happening (understandable, considering how weird it is), so he didn’t get out as quickly as everyone else.

After this series of events is the biggest memory gap, which seems to mainly consist of meeting up with a large group of people and preparing for some kind of expedition together. I become lucid not long before we’re going to set off, although it’s not so much me realizing that it’s a dream as it is the unconscious knowledge that it’s a dream, which I’ve been acting on this whole time, becoming conscious. And this sort of makes it feel as if I’ve been lucid the whole time, if that makes sense.

I’m looking out the window of a house onto the rolling fields beyond as it happens. I still have some preparation to do here, though, so I’m still here packing as everybody else is leaving. I’m taking my hiking backpack, the black one with yellow trim. It occurs to me to wonder whether I need to do this in a dream, since I can just make things appear if I need them. But I have the impression, based on earlier conversations, that I might not be able to do that in some of the places we’re going, and so I’ll want to make sure I have essentials with me, at least. The last thing I grab is my brown aviator-style jacket, which I fold and pack into the backpack before buckling it and heading downstairs and outside.

I can just see somebody disappearing past the other side of the house, down a broad stone staircase. That’s where everybody’s gone. I try flying part of the way, but perhaps because of the hiking backpack—even though it doesn’t feel heavy—it’s hard to get more than a couple feet off the ground. But flying seems to be slower than running anyway, so I just run around the side and down the stairs.

I’m now in an area with several platforms rising a distance above the ground. Next to one on the far side is a cliff wall with a small tunnel partway up, a little above head height. A young women is nearby – it seems she had to stop to do something before going onward. I jump onto one of the platforms, where I see some piled-up clothing. I recognize it as a kind of uniform for us to wear. It looks a bit like a karate gi: loose pants and a shirt that ties around the front, white, though a little discolored with age and threadbare in places. On some of the edges, flowers are embroidered in pale colors. I put it on over my clothing.

Jumping onto the last platform and up to the tunnel—taking off the backpack and pushing it in first—is practically effortless, much easier than it would be in waking life, which makes it kind of fun. The tunnel is not tall enough to walk in, and it narrows considerably not far ahead, so I push the backpack in ahead of me. It barely fits, and I can see it slide down once it gets past the narrow point, where the tunnel slopes downward. I barely fit, too – I actually have to turn my head to the side to squeeze through. But soon, it’s large enough to where I can crawl again, and then walk upright.

The tunnel is made of squares of some smooth material, solid black in the center but with a stripe of red-orange around the edges that glows, lighting the way. As I walk, it slopes further downward and eventually drops me into a corridor with a grimy, institutional feel to it. All dimly and artificially lit, as if I’m somewhere underground.

It has a distinctly unpleasant vibe – although part of the reason may be because of what I know about this place. It is actually a sentient environment, and not a very nice one, and now that I’m inside of it, it’s going to be tracking my every move and shaping itself according to my actions and reactions. It’s not the destination – just somewhere we have to pass through on the way. There’ll be a test at the end that has to be passed before we can get out – but this place doesn’t like people leaving it and will be actively throwing obstacles in our way.

My backpack isn’t here – the place probably hid it somewhere, and so I’ll have to be on the lookout for it. I turn towards the right, reading the plates on the doors as I go by, deciding which room to enter first. The place looks to be some sort of school judging by what they say.

As I walk, faint, unpleasant feeling-tones arise, like the ghosts of memories with an archaic, dark quality to them, although they definitely don't involve my personal past – not in this lifetime, anyway. Or maybe they’re anticipations of what I’ll find here, behind the doors. Or maybe both. I also see a set of stairs leading downwards, but I don’t want to leave this floor just yet.

After reaching the end of the corridor, I head back, still making up my mind. It’s not terribly important where I go first, but I am aware that, as the first deliberate choice I make here, it will give the place some insight into me, will establish the course of how things will go. I decide on a room about midway between the end of the corridor and where I started from labelled “Faculty Lounge.”

As I open the door, I’m surprised by what I see. It’s a little room, somewhat like the bedroom of a hostel, with two bunk beds, a table off to one side and some assorted furniture – overall, quite nice apart from the lack of windows. But the really surprising thing is that it’s already occupied by two people from the group I started with.

Sam is there—Sam, maker of ukuleles, fixer of anything with strings and frets, host of concerts and an accomplished musician in his own right. His dog is there with him. The other person isn’t waking-life familiar, although he does somewhat resemble one of my coworkers, with dark hair, pale skin and some kind of facial hair, I think. A dog has come in with me as well, a large, black one. I don’t pay much attention to it besides noting that it’s mine and hoping that the room isn’t going to be too crowded now.

Sam greets me – but he uses a different name, a man’s name. They must be seeing this place and this situation differently than I do, I realize. It had been mentioned at the earlier gatherings that it would appear differently to everybody – but I had assumed that we would also be going through it alone, individually, and so it hadn’t occurred to me that I’d find myself in this kind of situation. But I can roll with it.

We talk for a little while. At one point, one of them advises me to be careful not to give this place “the impression that I’m somebody it can f*** with.” Sam mentions that he’s working on a puzzle—it seems to be set up on the table there—and I say I’ll leave him to it. I mention, though, that I’m good with puzzles, and he invites me to come help put it together. This must be part of their test, I realize – and it strikes me that maybe it isn’t a coincidence I ended up here to help them with it, although from everything I’ve heard, it would be uncharacteristically benevolent for the place to intentionally direct me to them.

The puzzle seems to mainly feature cute baby animals, and it is close to being finished. I help assemble the remaining pieces as Sam tells me some anecdotes he’s heard about a 20th century Viennese composer. He can’t remember which one they’re about. I notice, though, that the bottom edge of the puzzle isn’t complete. Sam is stirring some sort of gooey blue liquid, and I realize that that will also be part of it: the tests, though different, all have one thing in common: incorporating two bowls of these brightly colored mixtures into them somehow.

14.7.20

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I'm in a forest/jungle and flying with some other people. I say to myself "this is a dream". I keep on flying but it's not going well. I'm not able to control my flying and I'm even going backwards when I try to fly forward. I remember that I wanted to summon fire in my hands and try to do so. I'm suddenly by a park with kids by it. I try to summon the fire but nothing happens. Instead I see a fire in a sand pit 20 meters away. I look away and look back again and the fire is gone. I walk there and there is a kid who wants the sand that were in the pit. I think to myself that I want to be nice to my DCs and want to help her. She disappears and I look down the pit. There is orange sand and I think that if I use it I can summon a fire in my hand. I don't remember how the dream ended.

I'm in our summer place.(I live there IRL right now)I see aunt Maria and I walk past her. I'm semi lucid and go to Maria. I greet her and notice that she is actually a man.

Notes: I was in a park with my cousins two days ago. We had a nice time there. That's why I dreamt about all the children in the park. I had some really interesting dreams yesterday about school and friends I haven't seen in a long time and challenges. I met a girl that sang to my guitar playing a year ago. We ate together in a school dining room. I don't even remember her name.

I'm on a street as usual I don't know where I am. There's tour guide?! who tells me to go and see these two other guys in order to travel in town. So I go to find them aroun the corner. There I am, again looking at a street sign. The letters are white, on a blue background. the letters are starting switching then I try to read the sign but it's almost impossible but then I see a name, it says "Biergärten Örinhnen"..I Think I'm in Germany! I'm in a dream!, I Look up and sure enogh, the architecture looks exactly as it should. Then to make sure I look again to the sign and all I see is: "yäöööä!", I get the giggles and keep on going and rubbing my hands a bit to stabilize lucidity.
There I see a vehicle, but is more like the cargo of a truck, without a cabin, maybe wheels, and is half way opened. There are two German dudes, standing to the left side of the cargo, resting the arms on some metal hangers. I think to myself, this is my chance to speak a foreign language.! "Hallo mein Namen ist Dorian". One of the men: oh!, isn't your namen Jordian?
(I think to myself again, the tour guide must have given a different name) nein, (no),I'm Dorian! They laugh and go on with their own talk..
My perception shifts to the left, and I can see there are a few maps on a screen, and the locations where we would be traveling..Aparently in a very short of time, since the vehicle has a special technology. I look down and there's the cabin, below the ground. Now I'm sitting there, and a lady is next to me, in front of me there are 3 boys; she's tapping on top of their heads with her left leg, she's wearing sandals..
I notice I'm getting caught in the drama and as I try to rub my hands again the dream vanishes..
Man I really wanted to try one beer...

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

Had a lucid dream yesterday and I tried to summon water but I only managed to summon a water drop and a water emblem unintentionally.

I'm driving a car up to Hemköp and decide to park in the middle of the street. After a while the car is gone and I'm miserable because I think someone took it. I talk with my mom and she says that it's okey and that she knows where it is. It got taken by the police because I parked it wrongly.

I am outside my old childhood house. Daytime (though the sky is more gray). Colors are dulled out the dream world feels flat, blurry, and generally low quality. I am already semi-lucid due to a gradual climb through lucidity that has happened over the course of a long dream of which I am only recalling the tail end of. I recall flying around, having some rather typical trouble with my flying powers with them being slow and very low to the ground but with some concentration, I am able to work past them. (I don't know why this is. I always seem to have these difficulties when flying now, but I always seem to be able to work past them.)

I attempt to explain to some dream characters (this brown-haired girl who was moving boxes out of a house a few lots down from mine) that this was a lucid dream. At first she doesn't believe me but after flying in circles around her a few times; doing some loops and flying through the branches of some trees I manage to get her attention that something is off and eventually fully convince her.

At this point, I begin explaining the nature of lucid dreaming to her in a pretty imprecise and incomplete manner. I explain the basic concepts of MILD, DILD and WILD, dream journaling, and dream stabilization. I then start demonstrating some basic dream control by summoning small items by reaching behind my back and grabbing them. I summon an apple and a bottle of some kind of alcoholic beverage that comes in this purple and blue glass bottle with crystals growing off of it and give them both to her. The dream scene transitions to a very distorted cafe/resturant enviroment where we are sitting on a large sofa and there are a lot of robots/ andriods. The lighting in the scene is very harsh; light and dark coming in through a big vertical window.

At some point I sit down on the couch and sink into it until I fall through the floor. I look up and see the resturant enviroment above me floating in a white void with some faint clouds. (It sort of looks like in a video game when you clip out of the world and fall through the floor). I begin flying once more but wake up not long after.

Created Friday 10 July 2020

I got two DILDs and a scrap today.

Spoiler for Kinda long:

Scrap Group 1
Dreams where I was conversing with some mystical being.

Dream 1 - Deadly Prank and Flight Radio LD

The visuals started a bit blurred. Spectator mode. This depicted an episode of Spongebob Squarepants. The title character and his friend Patrick were in an unknown apartment suite. The two were in a make believe game of hero and villain, Spongebob acting as the former, and Patrick the latter. However, Patrick got so engrossed in the game, that he started to believe he himself was really a villain. Things started getting dangerous when the starfish left deathtraps in every room. Spongebob was eventually cornered. As he cowered, Patrick loomed towards him with a nasty looking weapon. The insane starfish drew closer and closer... only to immediately drop the whole matter as if it never happened. Spongebob, with a sigh of relief, also laughed away his own near-death experience.

Around this point, I manifested on the floor of the suite's kitchen. I was exhausted, so I didn't even bother trying to get up. There were a few other voices, but I didn't pay attention. Soon, a fluffy medium sized dog trotted along right up to me. It got too curious for my liking. I was afraid it was going to bite me. But instead, it simply licked my face. This got me to question my environment, and thus, I quickly gained awareness.

Springing to my feet, I rushed to a room at the far end, then jumped out of an open window. I found myself flying over an expansive city surrounded by grassy hills, all under a clear dawn sky. Among the more interesting sites were two or more amusement parks, as well as an airport carelessly built between a few skyscrapers. Quite a view, especially considering that my visuals clarified by this point.

I opted to form rigid metal wings on my back just for the fun of it. Just then, I received a radio message internally (not unlike Codec calls in Metal Gear Solid).

"This is the US Air Force", says a male voice, his words muffled a bit by static. "If you can understand me, leave this airspace or we well open fire."

Well, this never happened before. I figured he thought I was some kind of alien.

"Permission to land.", I responded promptly, filtering my voice to sound inhumanly deep.

It took a moment before I received another message. "...alright.", the voice says skeptically. I don't think he expected me to talk.

Anyway, I looked for a safe, flat landing spot outside the city. But, there was nothing of the kind. The dream destabilized, and collapsed shortly after. DEILD attempt two minutes later, though I dozed off.

Dream 2 - July 2020 TOTM Basic Task I

Scene 1 - Game Gear Idea Awareness
The visuals started blurred. I was resting on the floor of an apartment suite similar to above. Dazzling sunlight forced me to half-open my eyes. There was some commotion going on in another room nearby, as well as noise from people getting started with their day. I just wanted to get some sleep, that is, until I started questioning my state. As a test, I meditated in an effort to float up as I laid supine. It took some effort, but eventually, I did levitate. This easily affirmed the dream.

I was about to head out the door, when I spotted this dude (olive skin, dark, unkempt hair) playing something on a Game Gear. On closer inspection, he had a Sonic game loaded. This got me to sound music from the series. The first in mind was Aquatic Ruin Zone from Sonic 2. I then had the idea to visit that very location. With an unusual combination of focus and anticipation, the scenery warped.

Scene 2 - A Visit to an Aquatic Ruin
The visuals were clearer. I instantly found myself just where I wanted, a lifelike version of Aquatic Ruin Zone, sunlight seeping through the foliage. This did indeed appear as the crumbling walls of an ancient city overrun by tropical wilderness. The air was heavy with vapor, though I never did directly see a body of water as per the namesake of this location. Anyway, as I floated around, I decided to pull down a nearby branch to touch the leaves. They were surprisingly sharp on the edges. I then noticed big red berries growing on the branches, the very same ones from the game. Of course, I wanted to sample them. Unfortunately, an unseen force dragged me out before I could do so. Cue another warp.

Scene 3 - Mountain Breaking Wave
The visuals were perfectly clear. I was standing by a road between some hills and a thin forest, a partially cloudy blue sky above. Various different locales were in the distance. To the far right were the shores of a beach. A city spanned out throughout the rest of the horizon, their skyscrapers notably larger than normal.

I took a moment to appreciate the view, when I quickly went over some tasks in my mind. I settled for this month's basic task i. Of course, that meant I had to find a mountain. I walked towards the left alongside the road. It didn't take long for me to notice a huge, ice-peaked bluish grey mountain leftwards to the horizon. After a brief moment of concentration, I released my aura. It was visually tame, appearing as just a quick, transparent wave that pulsed in the air for a moment. So it came as a bit of a surprise when the mountain crumbled seconds later. Job well done, I thought.

Regardless, I wanted to see such destruction more closely. With an upward wave of my hand, I collected as much asphalt as I could from the road to create a huge hill made of the same material. Once again, I conjured my aura. In an instant, the asphalt mountain exploded violently into millions of chunks. Some of the larger clumps almost flew right at me.

Perhaps I got startled a bit. The dream collapsed shortly after.

Spoiler for Aquatic Ruin Zone:

I’d just woken up, and I began to record myself explaining my dreams while they were still fresh in my mind. Never mind that it was on an app that doesn’t exist, I didn’t pick up on that, but while telling my dreams I had the idea to do a reality check. I counted six fingers and realized this was a dream!


I put my phone down, walked toward my bedroom door, and told myself out loud, “I am in my house in [town I used to live in].” (I opened the door.) “The dream is clear and stable.”


I chose to go to that house so I could find my parents, because I live alone but had to find a DC so I could complete the TOTM, but why I picked that house specifically, I’m not sure. We moved out of that house in 2013; I didn’t leave home until 2019.


Immediately, my vision became more vivid (I hadn’t realized it before but it was kind of dull color-wise). I was still in my apartment, but standing in front of me was a man.


“Guten Nacht,” I said. (Yes, I meant Guten Tag, but close enough? Autocorrect tried to change this to Gluten Nacho.)


“Guten Nacht,” he replied. He said something else I didn’t understand. The only word I recognized was verstehen (understand), so I assumed he was asking if I understood German. We were entering the dining room now. (I looked up verstehen while typing this; it’s conjugated wrong for second person, but it DOES mean understand. Yay for recognizing one of the handful of German words I know!)


I tried to recall how to tell him I don’t speak German. “No spreche… German. Alemán?” (Alemán means “German” in Spanish.)


“Alemannisch,” he corrected me.


“Deutsch,” I corrected myself. We were in the kitchen now, and I doubted I could carry this conversation further, so I decided to wake up so I could write it down right away.


By the way, it turns out Alemannisch actually refers to a group of Upper German dialects spoken in Switzerland and parts of Germany and Austria—but I didn’t know that, so I’m going to assume my brain just tacked a German suffix onto a Spanish word in an attempt to make it German. Whatever works, right?