lucid

Created Wednesday 26 August 2020

Finally, an LD to feel good about. I got a DILD and some fragments today.

Spoiler for Quite long; NSFW violence:

Dream 1 - Cute Little Abomination

Spectator mode. The visuals were somewhat glared. This took place in the sterile, empty white halls of a large building complex. Then, from a corner crawled out an abominable figure. At first glance, it appeared as a gaunt, nude, abnormally pale woman with stringy dark hair. But soon, her form twisted into bizarre shapes, from a mass of tentacles and teeth, to a huge maw, and many other terrible things. The creature shambled around with unnatural speed. Within seconds, she burst into a room filled with frightened people. Their screams were cut short when the monster gleefully tore into them. Those that were fortunate were cut in pieces, then devoured. Those that weren't suffered the privilege of being engulfed alive. Either way, it was a short, but messy affair.

Around this point, I manifested in the dream. I was making my way down a long flight of stair. The lights flickered with every step. There wasn't anyone around. It was too quiet. I slowed my descent. Couldn't be too careful.

Eventually, the stairs ends into a short passage. At the end was a basement door. Horrible squishing sounds could be heard from behind. In mere seconds, a figure peeked out of the doorway. The creature. Although back in her humanoid shape, she was now giant, too large to move in any way but a crawl. I wagered she'd been about 15ft feet tall when standing. The monster flashed a grin upon seeing me. Steadily, she creeped in my direction. Suddenly, her form warped again. Now, her torso swelled into a bulbous lump, while her arms burst into a writhing mass of tendrils.

At this moment, I got aware. My first thought was to blast her straight into oblivion. But, I decided it would be more interesting handling this in more conventional means. Grasping at my hip, I pulled out a .38 semi-auto from thin air. I took aim, and gave a test-fire. The pistol handled easily, not much in the way of recoil. In any case, the shot took off a good chunk of the monster's head. Yet, she didn't seem to flinch. So, I continued spraying out bullets, firing quickly, yet carefully. By the time I was done, the creature was left an armless, headless stump.

Job well done, I thought. However, the she-monster was barely impeded. She continued stumbling towards me. I figured maybe violence wasn't the answer. Maybe she just needed a stern lecture? So, I pinched her rubbery (and, ugh... slimy) hide. Pulling at her, I forced her to follow me. Incredulously, she complied.

The way back up was much shorter. We soon arrived at the entrance lobby, one similar to the local hospitals. The place was busy with activity. Most people just passed us by. Only a small crowd seemed to notice the headless creature, and even then, they took only a casual interest of her.

Anyway, I dragged the abominable woman with me, seating the both of us at the corner of a row of orange, plastic chairs. Just then, the beast spasmed as it changed shape once again. This time, it compressed itself down into an unexpected form: a young girl, no older than eight years of age. Her bare skin was still as damp and rubbery as before, though her black hair, previously unkempt, was now longer and completely straightened.

I opened my mouth to speak, but was interrupted when the girl shoved her head under my left arm, placing herself in my unwitting embrace. She looked up at me with a hearty smile. Her pitch black eyes left me in a momentary daze.

It took some time before I composed myself to talk. "You're... a kid?", I gasped out in disbelief.

"Yup.", she responded plainly. The sightseers around us murmured and nodded their heads in agreement to her word.

"What... happened to you? Why are you here?"

The odd girl shrugged. "I was sick." She glanced away in contemplation before she continued. "I was taken to the hospital. At first, I thought the doctors were giving me treatment. But, I was actually being experimented on."

The girl's detached, unconcerned tone sent chills down my spine. I swung my head to collect myself again. "So, are you... um... still hungry?", I asked nervously. The girl just shook her head. That was some relief.

I then stared down at her in disapproval. "Okay. But from now on, you won't eat people ever again. Promise?", I chided her.

"Promise.", she nodded.

"Good. Remember. No more people. They're not food."

The creepy girl rolled her eyes. "Okay. Moving on.", she said impatiently.

I wanted to talk more. Unfortunately, the dream destabilized. In desperation, I held onto the girl's hands to try and stay in the dream. But, that didn't help the situation. I woke up shortly after.

Scrap Group 1
In the lounge at home. There were a lot of ants and a few cockroaches crawling on the floor.

In the kitchen at home. To my astonishment, the fridge (which looked thinner than it should) was overheating. It was so bad, that black smoke roiled out from below. Acing quick, I pulled it out, and unplugged it. I bemoaned having to buy another fridge just a year and a half after the last one went kaput.

FA in bed. For some reason, I had my head on the desk. Aunt Velma appeared. Upon noticing my discomfort, she placed a towel under my head. I pretended I was already fast asleep out of embarrassment. When she was gone, I thought about getting up from there, but was way too lazy and tired.

FA in bed. I (supposedly) wrote some DJ notes. For whatever reason, the song 'Uranium Fever' was stuck in my head.

No techniques used. Only lay awake for some time and set an intention to do the TOTM in the middle of the night.

At first I got lucid at my parents' house but didn't get anywhere before waking up. A non-lucid dream about being at a scientific congress followed. In a break I went outside and got lucid again, immediately remembering my intention to ask a DC about the dream's origins. I felt the dream slipping and focused on my surroundings, touching the ground and everything nearby. Like this, I was walking down a rain-soaked street with a lot of trees. The dream stabilized and I saw every branch in great detail and in amazing colors. Noone else was around. Typical, if one wants to find a DC, not one is here.
I left the street and started walking down a slope leading to some gardens. Still no DCs. I pushed myself off the ground and glided down, looking around.

Finally, I got to a path leading somewhere else and found a young boy, maybe 10, walking there. "Hey", I shouted. He turned and waited for me. I got closer, as if I didn't want anyone around hearing us and asked "Whose dream is this?" "His", he said without hestitation with a matter-of-fact tone, pointing to the left. I followed his gesture and found... A small bird. A blueish canary sitting on a fence.
?What? I was completely taken aback. I looked back at the boy, puzzled. He was grinning slightly.
Behind him I noticed a plump woman, about my age, with dark hair. Maybe she can tell me more. I walked towards her as she looked at me openly. We got close together and looked straight into each others eyes. Somehow, I was overcome with compassion towards her. I felt the urge to hug her but it felt out of place. I had so many questions running through my mind. Yet, I didn't know where to start.
"Don't worry. You've got strength in your head and in your legs.", she said, smiling.
This confused me even more. The three of us started walking along the path. Suddenly, I understood. "If you say that I've got strength, you mean you've got strength, too, right?" She considered this for a moment, and nodded.
They are all me, everything here is. It's all one. It's the bird's dream as it is my own.
We continued walking until the other two left me at something that looked like their camp. The woman looked back at me, inquiring, then smiling broadly and said "Princess Leah will be pleased!" [no, not Leia ]
Slowly, I walked away, feeling utterly content and warm after this encounter.

Next, I got to a strange structure with a high bar and a trampoline. I jumped on there, doing somersaults and whatever I could imagine in mid-air. It got totally euphoric until I was crying out of joy.
Then, I wandered around again, now through an amusement park, admiring the incredibly vivid surroundings and enjoying the hustle around me until I woke up.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I left my window only half open and only letting the cuartain let in a little bit of light when the morning comes. It was thanks to this that I had my lucid.

I'm in some kind of stone building with some people. I know Oskar, William and Daniel was there. We have some kind of artifact that reveals what kind of power you have. (It's inspired by the series hunter x hunter)When it is oskar's turn his mother is worried because he cut himself on a piece of glass by the stone table where the artifact were.

I wake up 06.20 and realize that this is the perfect time for a lucid. I sleep pretty fast. I don't know when I became lucid.

I fly outside my house and I'm fully aware that it's a dream. There is a man talking with me from the window and asking me if it's hard to fly with the new body (I'm not in my ordinary body, I'm some kind of slim woman I think). I say that it's okey but it's actually hard to navigate in the air with this body and the flying doesn't feel realistic. I fly up in the sky with incredible speed and I'm suddenly over the atmosphere. I still see the last scene in the left side of my vision and I decide to fly back. I walk the street and suddenly I get an impulse that I want to do a circus trick where two people stand at someone's shoulder and lean to the sides while the two people on top hold each other's hands. I see someone walking the street to the left of my house and scream at him to join me. He follows. We try to find someone who's shoulders we can stand on. He wants us to climb on Julias' (my boss) shoulders. I don't see her but when I look I find her. I don't know where we are any more. It is some kind of a park. We try several times to climb her shoulders but we don't have the balance to sustain the position in more than some seconds. Me and Julia interact. I meet some children and I try to make my finger really tall but fail.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

Today is my first school day in a while and I dreamt about starting school.

I'm going to school but forgot my phone at home so I didn't know where to go. The school is not like my real one. I end up in the school canteen and say hello to my friends. I remember Johannes and Max most, also Gabriel. We eat and I spill a lot of food. I drop a lot of rice on the floor and an old lady working there gives me a tool to clean it up. I say I'm sorry and will clean it up. I do so.

I go into a store and notice that there are only women there. I try to act like I'm a girl. I see nail polish that is in my favorite colour. It's very light blue. I take it with me. I see an old acquainted school person. She is the one who helped me search for another school. I thought she was pretty IRL and she was still pretty. I am about to walk out of the store but meet a man with a guitar. He tries to hit me with the guitar but misses and hits the floor instead. The guitar breaks and I tell him that he should be careful with the guitars. I knock him down and realize it's a dream. The cute girl comes again and I feel on her face. In normal cases my face feels a little bit like sand paper in my dreams. I feel on my own face and realize it's not feeling like sand paper either. It feels like a long time since I had a lucid dream and I just want to stay in the dream for awhile. I walk out and recognize myself by the big slope next to Mcdonalds by my home. The dream slowly fades and I try to keep it up a while longer.

43 ОС (1) от 2 февраля 2012
К кому скользить спиной назад?
Сначала неосознанная часть: я должен был залезть по деревянной лестнице наверх, чтобы забрать свою вещь у знакомого. Но в место лестницы были одни доски. Стал цепляться за них руками. Когда доска заканчивалась, из неё начинали разрастаться три других доски. Так было несколько раз, пока доска не пошла вниз. "Мне же наверх надо!" Тут до меня и дошло, что это сон. Я повернулся вокруг себя, и попал в декорацию своей квартиры. В квартире, я висел в воздухе. Посмотрел на свою одежду: футболку не разглядел, что то серое; шорты те, что ношу в реале. Стал дотрагиваться до предметов. Тактильные ощущения норм. Дотронулся до шкафа, и шерстяного свитера, висящего на бельевой верёвке. К полу приблизиться не получилось. Произнёс своё имя вслух и ник на форуме. Голос был каким то приглушённым.
Тут вспомнил об эксперименте, решил заскользить назад. Но всё напутал: говорю мне надо попасть в эксперимент Ясновидца, тьфу ты перепутал эксперимент etherealа. Только когда проснулся понял, что второй раз я то же сказал неправильно. Сам процесс скольжения то же был странным: ноги мои согнулись, не в коленях, а выпрямленными - в общем скользю спиной назад, ноги смотрят вперёд. Попал в темноту, хотел притянуться к синему пятну, но тут же выкинуло в реал.

Выводы:
1. Видел странную лестницу, у которой доски разрастались на глазах. Никак не мог залезть наверх.
2. Переместился в квартиру, когда повернулся вокруг себя.
3. Тактильные ощущения были нормальны, как в реале.
4. Я висел в воздухе и не мог дотянуться до пола.
5. Мой голос был приглушённый, не такой, как в реале.
6. Плохо работала память.
7. При скольжение назад мои ноги согнулись сами, я попал в темноту и проснулся.


43 LD (1) from February 2, 2012
Who should you slide your back to?

First, the unconscious part: I had to climb the wooden stairs up to pick up my thing from a friend. But there were only boards in place of the stairs. I began to cling to them with my hands. When the board ran out, three other boards began to grow out of it. This happened several times until the board went down. "I need to go upstairs!" Then it dawned on me that it was a dream.

I turned around and got into the decoration of my apartment. In the apartment, I was hanging in the air. I looked at my clothes: I couldn't see the T-shirt, that it was gray; shorts are those that I wear in real life. I began to touch objects. Tactile sensations of norms. I touched the wardrobe, and the woolen sweater hanging from the clothesline. It was not possible to get close to the floor. I said my name out loud and my nickname on the forum. The voice was somehow muffled.

Then I remembered the experiment and decided to slide back. But I got it all wrong: I say I need to get into the Clairvoyant's experiment, ugh, you confused the ethereal experiment. Only when I woke up did I realize that the second time I said the same thing wrong. The very process of sliding was the same strange: my legs were bent, not at the knees, but straightened - in general, I slide my back back, my legs look forward. I got into the darkness, I wanted to be attracted to the blue spot, but I was immediately thrown into real life.

Findings:

1. I saw a strange staircase, where the boards were growing before our eyes. I couldn't climb up.
2. Moved to the apartment when he turned around.
3. Tactile sensations were normal, as in real life.
4. I was hanging in the air and could not reach the floor.
5. My voice was muffled, not the same as in real life.
6. Memory worked poorly.
7. When sliding back, my legs bent by themselves, I fell into darkness and woke up.

LEGEND:
Black = non-lucid
Grey = awake
Blue = lucid

---

Lucid fragment
I reality check and get lucid, but either don't remember what came after it or the dream faded.

Great false awakening lucid!
Discouraged from my failed lucid that I just woke up from, I decide to do an especially aware reality check and then go to sleep with the mantra "When I see my hands I will remember I am dreaming and I will remember my body isn't real." The last part of the mantra is to make me more lucid and aware, so that I'm not just a zombie.

I then heard a noise my father made (maybe be dropped something) and got startled by it, and was disappointed. But I did a reality check, and, to my surprise, I breathed right through my plugged nose and was in a lucid dream. I immediately stood up and decided to leave my home. I tried looking away and back, imagining there'd be a door. I wanted to go to a specific place, but I ended up going into a mall. For some reason I suddenly had a VR headset on my head and my lucidity slipped a bit and things started getting unclear, both since that's something that happens if you don't have your VR headset on correctly and because the dream was fading, but as I took it off it caught itself. For a few seconds, I was somewhere else, but returned to the mall without really noticing. The place might have been full of brownish sand and sort of boxed in somehow.

Now, back in the mall, I run around and explore, excited, although not as aware as in the beginning anymore, but still better than any other lucid dream I've had. I see a small (100ml volume?) box of sodium iodide and think about trying to blow something up (that's hard with sodium iodide, but, again, I had lost awareness in the VR headset segment), but I ended up not trying, both because I didn't know if they'd have any chemical that'd work out with it (forgot that you could summon things since my awareness was shit) and because I didn't want to anymore. As I thought about it, I had actually tried to grab the box of it, but I only had the lid in my hands since it slipped off, and somebody was mad at me since I grabbed it (I had a small fear that someone would notice, but I didn't really care since I was sure I could just flee). And thus, I fled.

I then decided to try some shapeshifting again. I looked at my hands and saw that I had way too many fingers than normal (about 14 on my right hand), so I tried to touch things with the hand to see how having more fingers feels like, and it felt like normal, just slightly different. It's hard to describe. But I didn't want to continue to do something else that is more personal.

I went to a sort of computer terminal and input commands and hoped for them to appear in the dream, but it didn't quite work out. At some point I did a stabilization attempt by inspecting my hands, but still nearly woke up, but ended up back at a sort of bodyless distant view that was even less aware of the terminal, which now looked like a piano/organ, and apparently dracula was playing on it. It sort of was like a comedic variation of some sort of area in a video game. I then sort of had to click on the piano to go to the terminal again to continue typing, and it still didn't work, and then I woke up.

---

That awareness drop after the vr segment was annoying, but being that aware at all was progress, at least. I think I will add something to get more aware of dream control in my dreams.

Also, the first lucid fragment resulted from an extra aware reality check yesterday before I went to bed, since I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't reality check all that much because of school eating my time and stressing me.

Created Wednesday 12 August 2020

Got a short WILD, two DILDs, and a fragment today.

Spoiler for Kinda long:

Scrap Group 1
Several dreams of my arguing with a man-eating giant, one that was previously a human, no less. I couldn't fathom how she could justify her actions.

WILD transition in bed. Things were rather blurry. I overheard my cousin's daughter Harriet supposedly entering and blabbering around nearby. I really concentrated to keep myself from getting woken up. Assuming a meditative pose, I floated out of the room. I found myself in a grey void. The dream collapsed shortly after. Re-entry attempt, but I drifted off two minutes later.

Dream 1 - Some Simple Requests

Almost no visuals at first, but that clarified over time. FA in bed, Noticing a mild spinning sensation quickly made me aware. My sleeping mask prevented me from seeing much of anything. I knew trying to remove it myself would be a waste of time. So, I called on my guide, E, for help. She didn't manifest physically, though an unseen force did indeed pull away my mask for me.

With that done, I floated to the kitchen and towards the back doors. I tried phasing through the sliding doors, but only bounced off of them. So, I called out for help again. Once more, the mysterious force interacted by pushing me forward. I managed to squeeze through the doors, if with some resistance.

I stepped outside to a beautiful dawn sky. The backyard looked more like how it was a year or two ago, at a time where it hadn't been paved over. In any case, I tried accomplishing a task, thinking the giant-killing one would suffice. I called out to conjure a giant. But, none appeared, not even after a minute or so of waiting.

Suddenly, my limbs tensed up. I reacted too slowly to keep myself from waking up. Another re-entry attempt, but I dozed off several minutes later. Various unknown dreams occurred before transitioning to the one below.

Dream 2 - Showdown with a Sorceress

The visuals were slightly blurred. I was standing by a one-lane road in the middle of a deciduous forest, daylight seeping through the leaves. A vintage 30's convertible with dark paint was nearby.

More pertinently, I was in the middle of a confrontation with a demonic sorceress! She appeared as a thin, light skinned middle aged woman in a mauve robe. A golden tiara rested atop a head of wild, long black hair. A set of sharp teeth, oversized and crooked, jutted out as she smirked. There were other figures nearby, each battered and worn out. I 'recalled' they'd gotten in a losing battle with the sorceress. They were trying to prevent her from causing wanton death and destruction. Now, it was up to me alone to stop her. Upon reflecting the situation, I got aware. Still, I decided to play along. No way was I gonna miss out on this kind of fun!

My opponent and I clashed via telekinesis, which manifested visually as an ethereal wall of shimmering blue light. However, I struggled to push back, whereas the sorceress looked no worse for wear. The wall inched closer to me by the second. It was only a matter of time before I'd falter.

Just then, the voice of a new figure calling out interrupted our match. "Mother?", utters a squeaky voice.

I glance over to see a young girl, no older than six years of age. Like the sorceress, she was pale, and had long, dark hair, if not quite as frizzy. She wore a long white dress, and had a wide-brimmed sun hat of the same color.

Upon catching sight of her, the witch hesitated. Her face contorted with rage and confusion. After a painful transformation, her teeth reverted to human form. "What are you doing here?!", she snarled in bewilderment. The little girl could only stammer. An awkward silence followed.

It took a while before I snapped back into the moment. Taking advantage of this situation, I attacked once again. I warp-dashed behind the sorceress, my body fading into black shadows as I did. As soon as I re-materialized, I grabbed the wicked woman, putting her in a Full Nelson hold. "Release me!", she roared out as she writhed in my grasp. She wasn't as overwhelmingly strong as she was before. Still, I knew she could break out at any time.

I looked over to the witch's daughter. "Kid!", I called out. "Try to talk her down!"

The girl winced and shook her head, desperate to make sense of this chaos. Eventually, she responds. "Stop!", she shrieks, addressing me and my foe. "Please, stop!"

The demon witch once again let her guard down. Using this chance, I projected all of my energy out in the form of a spherical force field. Like before, the sorceress and I engaged in a magical struggle. She tried pushing back with all her might, but to no avail. Slowly, but certainly, the orb wrapped around her, trapping her above me in a shining bubble. The sorceress glowered down at me in disbelief. She couldn't fathom that she'd been defeated.

I only barely noticed then that we'd all been warped to one of the upstairs rooms at home. Not minding that, I sighed in relief. Then, I broke out in triumphant laughter. "Hah! I did it!", I exclaimed. I flexed my biceps, pranced around, and shadowboxed as I continued celebrating. "Yeah! I'm the best! I'm the strongest! I-oh..." I trailed off when I heard the little girl sobbing nearby. Well, that was a real jerk move on my part. I was at a loss on how to handle this. I mean, what could I tell her? That her mother deserved this? That her mother is bad? That it's for the best?

The least I could do is try to apologize for my gloating. "Listen, kid... I..." But, the daughter's tearful glare shut me up. She was momentarily silent, before she ran off wailing. I felt really terrible about this...

Soon, the other figures began vanishing before my eyes. The dream destabilized, and collapsed.

The dream started inside a restaurant. As I sat around a large table with the rest of my family I noticed we were the only ones in this joint. A line of waiters dressed in black suits approached the table one by one with an assortment of dishes. A small bowl with a creamy pumpkin soup was delivered to me. Across the table and through the double-swing doors, the restaurant connected to a short entryway that lead away from the entrance. Next to it and touching the left wall, lied a series of stairs to the upper floors. I could make out two people babbling before the steps.

The scene cuts immediately to a room brimming with people, gathered before a table opposite which where two young kids, a girl and a boy, about 5 years old each if I were to guess. We are celebrating their birthday, it seems. Among the cluster of strangers I see my brother. He proposes a toast. The collective voices of everyone in the room subside immediately. He takes a drink from his glass, turns to face me, and congratulates me for my birthday! The audience erupts in excitement. I'm bewildered, sharing a puzzling glance at my brother. It isn't my birthday today, that was six months ago! People start emptying the room. One of my cousins and her friend stay behind to sing to the birthday kids; they're having a blast. Both siblings don't really care for what's happening, though. I stay with them but they're unusually close, our heads stuck together while they sing.

And then there's a jump in time until I find myself in a hallway. It was a bit dark now, and the road continued towards the birthday party. I was alone in here, and I started walking back to the previous room. As I walked, I began thinking. It was an oddly thought that popped in my head.

If I go back, I'll lose this opportunity, the opportunity to do something here.

The voice in my head appeared trustworthy enough to follow its advice; I stopped walking, and resumed thinking.

Besides, as much as I want to return, there are more important things, and that is because... this is a dream.

The meaning of the words hit me like a bucket of cold water. With renewed clarity I repeated the next set of words in my head:

Where is my real body?

My real body is lying in bed, in my house, in ***.

I become fully lucid.

Everything went dark for a second, and I thought I had lost the dream. I barely managed to spot a white tinge from one of the walls of the hall, so I drew my attention to it. Within seconds, the rest of the scene reappears. The passage now stretched far and wide. It was dark and humid. A system of pipes coursed from the top and beyond on both sides, and the left and right walls appeared old and dirty. I could sense the beginnings of something piercing my left side. I withstood the burn and scattered my eyes, looking for something to focus. An old wooden chair appeared now on my right. I stare at it, concentrating, and like magic the torment slowly abates. I regain focus, and repeat an intention over and over in my mind:

I want to stay in the dream. I want to stay in the dream. I want to stay in the dream.

Whatever it is I'm doing, it seems to be working. I try taking a few steps forward, looking at where I want to go instead of physically willing myself to move.

The sound of a voice close to me breaks my attention. Was it my brother? I have trouble making things out. I see a mob from the corner of my eye, approaching from the end of the passage, from the back, from everywhere really. I grow desperate, and with it discomfort returns. I have only seconds left, I believe. Do I resist the urge to give up, or end this right now? Decisions, decisions, and I choose to wake up.



Oh, why did I gave up too easily! Oh, well, there's always another night.

Morning of August 10, 2020. Monday.

Dream #: 19,593-02. Reading time: 2 min 50 sec.



While comfortably re-entering light sleep by choice, I summon my favorite scene - a light rain in an urban neighborhood. It is in the late morning. As I float into the extraordinarily vivid setting, flying slowly about four feet above the street, I choose to remain incorporeal, without summoning and integrating imaginary physicality. Even so, imaginary kinaesthesia becomes a factor of my navigation through the fictitious environment. I indulge in the astounding detail and beauty of raindrops falling into puddles.

Eventually, there is an incidental recall that Zsuzsanna and I had briefly discussed the Netflix series “The Rain” last night while scrolling through the content. (We had only seen the first episode weeks ago.) Two people (implied to be from the series) walk into the previously unpopulated setting, strolling off to my left, eventually no longer in view. I consider whether my dream will amalgamate the backstory of the series in implying the rain is dangerous.

American actor Jack Albertson (June 16, 1907-November 25, 1981) is lying on his left side on the ground (concurrent with my sleeping position). He is inside a fenced area not much longer than his height, the top of his head directed to the sidewalk. The fenced area is otherwise for either recyclables or junk from the adjacent service station. I wonder if sleeping in the rain will be problematic for him during my distracted association with “The Rain.” His eyes roll up with his visage like Elise Rainier’s from “Insidious: The Last Key” Zsuzsanna and I watched last night.

Soon, the young Elise Rainier forms from droplets of rain flowing over a tree and hovers in the air about three feet from the sidewalk (typical reinduction as the Naiad factor common since childhood) and vocalizes the melody (with only tenuto “oo” sounds) of Jim Reeve’s “The Blizzard.” (My dream self does not make the association with that song or its implications during my dream.) This factor stabilizes the original peaceful essence of the dream state.

Even so, after about fifteen minutes, cerebral nuances begin to activate wakefulness, resulting in text of various colors appearing on the street in paint and chalk. (Despite the rain, it does not wash away.) I float over an area where the word “leveling” features in white paint. I focus more on my usual seeking of text in this mode, but nothing relevant is in my view after this. I see what I first think might be a word, but it transforms into a series (about five of them) of the letter “i.” I see the character “o” in a set of three. Probably every letter of the English alphabet, in various colors, features at varying angles to each other on the street’s surface.

---

Notes on this dream’s no-brainer causality:

The essence of water (both summoned and spontaneous) begins the majority of my dreaming experiences in this mode as virtual melatonin. The Naiad factor is the pineal gland personification but also has mystical implications with the so-called third eye (as well as the Eye of Providence).

Note the incidental play on “Elise Rainier” as “release rain” (“produce more melatonin to sustain my dream”).

“Leveling” is concurrent with the transition from the imaginary kinaesthesia of floating into legitimate physicality without myoclonus. (There is probably an association of the balance between serotonin and melatonin).

Jack Albertson’s role as this dream’s sleep simulacrum ties with several threads of dream state causality. Firstly, he remains in bed in the first scenes of “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.”

Secondly, that association was recalled from me posting an image of Willie Talk (a ventriloquist dummy) on Twitter yesterday, a doll being the signification of the absence of mental and physical viability while sleeping.

Thirdly, his visage is as Elise Rainier’s in a trance (yet another play on sleeping and dreaming).

Fourthly, the fenced area signifies both the virtual division between dream space and the threshold of wakefulness and, in this case, is also indicative of how the physical body is restricted in its movement while sleeping.

---

Everything in this dream stems from the same causation factors as the tens of thousands of other dreaming experiences I have studied and resolved daily for over 50 years. Even so, the uniqueness each time is surprisingly admirable.

---

Another lucid dream!!!
(I'm not sure if this part came before or after I got lucid, but I doubt I was lucid)
I have something to do with Buffy the vampire slayer. I seem to just follow the team she has around. I don't remember what they did, or if they even did it. The scene just might have jumped. Anyway, I see the team gathered around Buffy, and Buffy simply said "Goodbye" or something like that, and everyone else replied "Goodbye" back to her, and the group went home. Buffy stood there for a bit, and I walked by her and said "Bye Buffy". I then thought that I like these "interactive movies" in which you are in the movie and seemingly just follow the protagonist. I then went into a sort of dance club for some reason. In the dream it was supposed to be the same club the characters always go to, but in the dream it was really, really tiny and only few people were in it, as opposed to in the series. I didn't like it there, so I left.

Then I was at a shopping district relatively close to my home. I suddenly had the thought "What if I am dreaming?", and thus I tried the nose plug reality check. As expected, I breathed through my closed nose, and I was lucid. Then the scene changed to my room. I then wanted to do something, but remembered dream stabilization techniques. So I rubbed my hands together for a bit, then I held them up in front of my face and inspected them. The dream was then like real life. There was someone there with me, and there was someone coming that wanted to kill us. For some reason, I really wasn't there emotionally. I was quite calm, trying to summon a weapon by having it appear in my hands, but I only got these really weird ammunition related things on beside which were some sort of ammo display, which I had no use for. I tried a few more times, and every time until the last one only got these strange ammo related things, but in the end I got a small hand burner, and decided to try and protect ourselves from the guy that wanted to kill us. I ran to the guy. He was some really tough motorcycle gang type guy. I tried burning his throat, but he didn't care. He just said something mocking I don't remember. So I ran back into the room and the guy I was with got killed by being shot. Strangely, the attacker wasn't close enough yet. He might also have been shot at the beginning already. Well, I stopped caring and tried to do shapeshifting stuff. I did the thing a shapeshifting tutorial says: I made another finger so that I could feel what it is like to have extra limbs. So I made another finger on the left of the pinky finger of my left or right hand, I'm not sure. I tried moving it and it worked, but it was connected to the pinky and ring finger, like the ring finger is connected to the pinky: they moved all at once. It frustrated me for some reason and I thought that it'd be better if I made it on the other side of the hand. It also seems like my hand was mirror inverted. I pushed the other finger back into my hand, but it didn't quite want to disappear, so I slapped it in and it made the Minecraft effect as if it died, and it was gone. I then forgot that I wanted to try and make more fingers. I then tried making two more legs, starting from my lower back. It worked a bit, but they seemed to disappear quickly, and they had barely any sensation. I didn't even see them. The little sensation my legs had reminded me of horses. I then decided that I want to leave the room, so I wanted to imagine a large black box that would've stood behind me with a button that would've brought me away, but I woke up and forgot about DEILD and only have a digital way of writing down my dreams, so I woke up completely and took my laptop to write this.

---

I am happy that I suddenly have lucid dreams. I am a bit sad that I was not really there with my mind, that I didn't really have emotion and also keep forgetting things, and that I can't manage to notice when the dream is falling apart so that I can stabilize it again. But I am happy I had a lucid dream at all, especially since I had one just yesterday.

Thursday, 8/6/20, Core2


False awakening. I heard my alarm going off but something made me suspect I was dreaming and that the alarm was just part of the dream so I didn't hurry to turn it off. I was laying in bed and not moving easily. A finger count reality check confirmed I had too many fingers but for some reason I still wasn't 100% certain I was really dreaming. I thought about rolling "out of my body" and flying but I was reluctant to fling myself out of bed if I turned out to be awake (it's not close to the floor). What can I do that would be easier? I wondered. I tried to affect my environment. The sound of the alarm faded in and out with my focused thought, then I made it go silent. The entire visual of my room faded as well. Oops. I rolled out of bed and floated to the floor, having now convinced myself I was in a dream and that I needed to stabilize it.

A lapse in consciousness as everything faded to black briefly. I found myself standing in the upstairs bathroom. Wait a minute, I thought after a few seconds, How did I get here? Am I still dreaming? I counted my fingers; seven, eight. It was very strange because my hands looked so normal even when I stared directly at them. I checked a couple more times just to convince myself once again. I was looking around me in amazement because everything was so realistic, an exact replica of my waking life bathroom. Clearer, even. I stared at and felt the bumps on the wall, saw how light reflected off the semi gloss, mint green paint. I decided to go downstairs to look around some more. I hope I'm not just awake and really sleep deprived. I thought idly, Otherwise people are going to think I've really lost it, staring at the walls and talking about how amazing they are.

As I walked down the stairs, I pulled at my hand, trying to see if I could morph it. I did, slightly. The weighting of gravity felt so realistic as well that I wondered if I would be able to fly in this dream since it felt like it would be difficult. I tested it by jumping off a few stairs and confirmed I could float. It felt stranger than usual in this environment. I reached the kitchen where my mom was doing dishes. "Hey Mom," I said, "This is a dream."

"Oh, yeah?" she said.

"Yeah." I thought of what I wanted to do with my lucidity. "Do you want me to show you how to fly?" I asked her.

"No that's okay, I already know how to do that. I've done enough of that lately." She went back to doing dishes. I was somewhat mystified by this decision.

"Oh, okay." I wanted to go out back so I started looking around for the nearest exit. I went and opened the front door. "Well, see you later." I added. Wait, why am I looking for a door to go all the way around? I could just take a straight shot through the kitchen wall. I changed course and flew at the wall. I can't believe some people get stuck in walls, it's never happened to me. All you have to do is not think about it. So then, of course, it happened to me. I got stuck in the wall halfway through. It felt like I was moving through molasses and everything went dark for a couple seconds. Then I could see an extremely vague back yard scene. I focused on a point relatively far away - since the closer focal points weren't yielding results - and I set a strong intention to go there directly. I essentially teleported to the intended spot and the scene became vivid and clear once again.

I flew above my yard, which was roughly accurate to waking life but much bigger. I spotted my late cat Pascal, a fluffy, 24-pound Maine Coon, laying in the yard just past the redwood tree. He was staring up at me. I flew lower and slowed, with a bit of difficulty controlling my height and speed initially. "I don't regret any of it!" I announced to him out of nowhere once I landed in front of him. "Well, except I wish we'd realized how sick you were sooner so you didn't have to go like that. We wanted to be there." I knelt down next to my cat and pet him, talking to him about our time together when he was alive, telling him how much I loved him, and pulling twigs and leaves out of his fur. He just continued staring at me with big eyes and purring, though I got the sense he was listening. The dream lapsed into a non-lucid.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

Definitely one of my clearest LDs, and a really euphoric feeling to see Pascal again. I loved that cat so much. When he was old and sick, he started having trouble breathing and we rushed him to the vet and said yes when they asked if we wanted them to do a procedure to try to save him. He died on the operating table and I really regretted not being with him at the end. In hindsight we didn't recognize how close he was to going so we weren't prepared to let him go and also didn't have time to think it through fully during the emergency. I was determined not to repeat that mistake, and I didn't the next time one of our elderly cats, Talis, no longer had quality of life. It was very tough to make that decision and to find the right balance, but I know that in that case Talis' needs came first. Anyway, it was still good to finally get to tell Pascal how I felt and how much I loved him, even if it was just in a dream.

Semi-lucidity! Trying shapeshifting.
In the beginning there was some sort of scary things, it was like a catalog of drugs that make your dreams insane with illustrations of what you could see, most notably a drug that is some sort of mineral which looks like some really demonic face with a mouth stretched down for meters, an unhealthy reddish skin and dead white eyes, and it made you see faces like that in your dream. Then it was somewhat about Subnautica. But then I was at home and suddenly I had a small amount of heightened awareness that it might be a dream. Then there was a sort of puppet but it was alive and I brought it into a room and closed the door to protect us from something. We went outside again and there were intimidating people and it was also like I read something bad about them. They said something I don't remember. I went past them and at the window were also some intimidating people I couldn't get past. I went back to the room.

I don't remember the part right before it, but I knew I was dreaming and did multiple reality checks and they all told me I was in a dream, so, now aware, I thought of something to do. The dream was very unclear and I totally forgot about stabilizing, but didn't even notice, so this was at most semi-lucid. I went to a mirror and tried transforming into a dragon. I didn't manage to do it at all since I hadn't at all had a visualization of the dragon I'd want to transform in. I tried doing it by looking to the mirror and back once I had an idea of what I wanted. As it didn't work after multiple attempts I just tried a tail at first, and that worked... somewhat. I didn't really take the right idea at all from the beginning anyway. The tail was there, but it was numb and had no feeling. And it was green, and I wanted it blue, so I just looked away and back again, and there it was blue. Then I just sort of gave up. I went away to see if I could manage to breathe fire at the people I couldn't get past, but I just forgot about it and tried to do something else. At some point I lost lucidity somewhat and slightly fell back into the plot about these demonic faces. Then I got excited over something and I woke up quite a lot. I then remembered the shapeshifting tutorial, and I wanted to do it. I remembered dream chaining, laid completely still, aaaaanddd... my parents managed to wake me up on accident.

---

Glad to know my practice is working. Not sure what to improve for next time, though. Maybe I should just continue as usual with my practice.

Created Thursday 06 August 2020

Wow. Lots of things today. False memories of writing notes made me forget some details, as did the phone somehow deleting quite a bit of content. Frickin thing...

Spoiler for Quite long. NSFW violence.:

Scrap Group 1
WILD transition in bed. My vision was terrible, and I had a lot of trouble moving. I could barely float towards the kitchen, where I heard several figures speaking. I called out for their attention, but they didn't seem to listen.

Various FA and SP experiences. Been a while since my last SP, heh. Seeing as I couldn't move, I just waited them out for a more proper transition.

WILD transition in bed. The stage transition sound byte from Sonic Adventure 2 suddenly sounded. Warp. Spectator mode. This was a clip of a 3D Sonic game. Knuckles was running through a bridge/tunnel over a waterway. Tube Panic from Knuckles Chaotix was sounding in the background. After watching for a minute, I manifested into the dream. I flew at high speeds through numerous tunnels.

FA in bed. I assumed I was writing notes. I also failed to notice my speaking with my guide, E.

Dream 1 - August TOTM Basic I

The visuals were dim and quite blurred, mostly due to my face being covered by sheets and a sleeping mask. FA in bed, though I quickly got aware.

Suddenly, a figure pounced on me. I wrestled back, keeping them at arm's length. I soon heard this was my brother Isaac, or rather, someone that sounded somewhat like him. He claimed that I bothered him somehow, but I ignored him. Instead, I asked he take off my covers so that I could finally see more clearly. He begrudgingly complied.

Free of him, I got up to take a better look around. It was then that I noticed the figure glaring at me from bed wasn't Isaac. Instead, he looked suspiciously similar to myself in my adolescence. Regardless, I just thought to only interact with him for reasons of a task.

"Hey.", I began. "Who's dream is this?"

"Your's, obviously.", the younger me responded while rolling his eyes. I didn't expect he'd know as much. This made me very curious.

"Surprised you knew that. Who are you?".

"I'm your subconscious."

I frowned at his answer. "Subconscious? What a load of crap.", I thought to myself. Still, I did want to understand more of this. "I already have E as a guide.", I answered. "I don't need your help".

The kid glowered. "You shouldn't follow her. Don't trust her."

What an incredulous response. I didn't know whether to be insulted, confused, or humored. My 'subconscious' kept deriding E,, while I dismissed him as a misinformed know-nothing. We continued to argue for a bit until the dream collapsed.

Scrap Group 2
Another FA in bed, where I once again thought I wrote some notes down.

Dream 2 - Hog Head Crush

The visuals were dim and quite blurred. FA/SP in bed.

Suddenly, I was beset by a grunting beast: a large feral hog. Couldn't really see it, but it certainly oinked like one. The creature immediately chewed on my scalp, tearing off large chunks of skin. It didn't hurt that much, but that didn't make it any less disturbing. I 'figured' it was avenging the deaths of all the pork I've eaten in my lifetime. Regardless, I got aware.

Seeking vengeance in turn, I tried conjuring a burning aura around me. It only manifested up as thick heat haze. Nonetheless, it worked well enough to scald the creature. The pig squealed and writhed in agony. It tried to run away, but I wasn't gonna let it get off that easy. I clenched its head with my hand. The wild animal mauled me in turn, though that didn't help it any. I dug my burning fingers into its skull. Before long, the hog's head moldered away. The dream collapsed shortly after.

Dream 3 - Late to the Great War

The visuals were dim. FA in bed, though I got aware again.

Soon, a vision appeared before me. It starts with an evening thunderstorm over grassy hills. Continuous lightning strikes illuminated the skies in a spectacular display. Just then, unusual vehicles loomed in from the land and air. From above, a fleet of alien-looking zepplins cruised the skies. From the hills tromped in bulbous tanks with four mechanical legs instead of treads. Although the tech didn't seem like it was from anything found on Earth, it also appeared dated, no more advanced than the interwar period.

And then, a battle erupted. Cluster bombs rained from above, ruining much of the countryside in seconds. By some miracle, most of the tanks remained intact. A constant barrage of artillery shells fired from the horizon, lighting up the clouds. Infantry rushed in from nowhere, taking cover within craters.

It was an equally terrible and mesmerizing sight. I didn't want to just spectate any longer. I manifested within the scene. Rain and winds pressed down hard, keeping me from moving too much. The surprise of that, and my over-eagerness, caused the dream to collapse.


Dream 4 - In The Clutches of Another Hungry Giant Lady

The visuals started quite blurred, though clarified over time. FA in bed, but I quickly got aware. Once again, I had trouble moving. I could only lurch my way out of the house, completely disregarding that I was only in my boxers.

It was a beautiful clear day. The sun glared in my eyes momentarily. As I shambled out the driveway, I overheard Egg Reverie from Sonic Mania sounding in the background. I opted to change it to Track 6 from Dyna Brothers.

Anyway, I paced my way out of the neighborhood. That's when I noticed a few glaring incongruities: the road forward extended for many blocks, there were several 6-story tall condo buildings in the distance, and, above all, there was a stout, similarly-sized gigantic woman tromping around near said buildings.

Interested, I wanted to hurry over there. But, I was really impatient, and decided just to conjure the giant woman towards me. Instead, a colossal cartoon character appeared, though it didn't take long for them to appear lifelike. I looked up, to see it was a different giantess, dark skinned, average build, and roughly 60+ feet in height. The woman was wearing only a red tank-top and boxers, and given that her puffy hair was matted, she obviously only got up from bed as well. She was a bit plain looking, but still, she didn't look bad given the circumstances.

Suddenly, the woman scooped me up in one hand. As startling as that was, I kept my composure. I began greeting her, but the sleepy giantess snarled back before I could finish. Just then, she dragged me into her gaping mouth! Her teeth and molars clamped down at my midsection. She fiercely gnawed and yanked on my torso with her jaws, knocking the air out of me, harshly bruising my skin, and breaking my bones. Gotta say, this stung like hell.

Acting quick, I tried turning my body into stone, though In my haste, I could only do so on my back. Nonetheless, this was more than enough to crack and chip her top teeth. The giantess gasped in pain. Soon, she lost her hold on me, and I fell.

I found myself landing back to my bed. I awakened promptly.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am a male knight on my property with my family. A group attacks our house, I can't help my wife there, as I am at some annexes with our servants and holding our baby, whom they are after. I escape through a tunnel that my servants help camouflage. I get out at some building that looks like a middle eastern hotel.

I help a gay activist not to be arrested and I get arrested instead. My mom helps me escape by asking to escort me to the bathroom which is upstairs from the cell floor. They allow. The only way to escape is by jumping out of the window. She is scared and tells me to do it alone. But I don't want to leave without her, so I realize we are dreaming and I tell her it's just a dream. Since the cops are coming after us, I grab her and I cross the wall and bring her with me. It works, on the other side is our old house and some family members are there, looking much younger or back from the dead. My dad, my maternal grandparents, my auntie and great-grandmother with full black hair. They recognize my mom but not me. I wonder if she would like to stay here.

42 ОС (9) от 27 января 2012.
Перепись населения
Сначала я был дома и убегал от какого то существа - смеси рыжей собачки с чем то. Я выбежал на балкон, перелез через бельевые верёвки и встал на воздухе. Сделав несколько шагов, решил прыгнуть вниз головой. Картинка сна заела. Заметил только, что с нижних этажей мне кто то махнул рукой.
Далее с позиции наблюдателя я вижу как в незнакомом месте разговаривают мужчина и женщина. Они пытаются понять, кто создал того монстра, от которого я убегал. В конце концов женщина решает что:"Надо посетить место Жёлтая…….", имея ввиду мой дом.
Следующий кадр, я уже с этой женщиной нахожусь в своём СП, только в другой его части, подальше от дома. Мы с ней шагаем по воздуху. Наблюдая за тем, что внизу, думаю про себя, что полное совпадение с реалом. Тут до меня и доходит - я во сне. Замечаю возле магазинчика стоит куча спрайтов. Я разворачиваюсь, спускаюсь по воздуху вниз и направляюсь в их сторону. Подхожу к спрайтам и говорю: "Здравствуйте, я устраиваю перепись населения, скажите свое ФИО возраст и где живёте" Как только я сказал, понял, что не слышу своего голоса, точнее слышу, но скорее не говорю фразу а думаю ей. Решил повторить погромче. Спрайты молчат, не отвечают. Только одна женщина покачала головой, мол нет не скажем. Далее толпа спрайтов отходит от магазина и двигается плотным потоком. Я к каждому в этом потоке пытаюсь обратится, но они тупо проходят мимо. Заметил бомжеватого мужика, говорю ему здравствуйте скажите ФИО и где вы живёте. Он так же проходит мимо. Позади я слышу, что бомжеватый мужик повернулся и что то сказал, но что именно не понять. Переспрашиваю не отвечает. Оставил его в покое, решаюсь наконец схватить какого-нибудь спрайта и задать этот вопрос в лоб. Хватаю первого попавшегося мужчину, задаю вопрос. Тот ничего не отвечает, просто отмахивается от меня, и идёт дальше. Взгляд у него был какой то стеклянный. Я отхожу от толпы говорю - Куклы! И просыпаюсь.

Выводы:
1. В неосознанной части сна столкнулся с агрессивным животным чем-то смахивающим на рыжую мелкую собаку.
2. Попадал в позицию наблюдателя. Наблюдал за своим сновиденным телом со стороны.
3. Парочка продвинутых персонажей, которые обсуждали тайный замысел. Аля неорганы.
4. Шагал по воздуху.
5. Перепись населения не состоялась. Никто мне не ответил. Еще странно, что много было бомжей.
6. Проблемы с голосом. Трудно говорить вслух. Кажется, что звучат мои собственные мысли, а я не произношу ни слова.
7. Стеклянный взгляд у персонажей.


42 LD (9) dated January 27, 2012.
Population census
At first I was at home and ran away from some kind of creature - a mixture of a ginger dog with something. I ran out onto the balcony, climbed over the clothesline and stood in the air. After taking a few steps, I decided to jump upside down. The dream picture stuck. I only noticed that from the lower floors someone gave me a wave.
Further, from the position of an observer, I see a man and a woman talking in an unfamiliar place. They are trying to figure out who created the monster I was running from. In the end, the woman decides that: “We should visit the place of Yellow …….”, Referring to my house.
The next shot, I am already with this woman in my joint venture, only in another part of it, away from home. We walk with her through the air. Observing what is below, I think to myself that it is a complete coincidence with real life. Then it dawns on me - I'm in a dream. I notice there are a bunch of sprites near the shop. I turn around, descend through the air and head towards them. I go up to the sprites and say: "Hello, I'm organizing a population census, tell me your name, age and where you live." I decided to repeat it louder. The sprites are silent, do not respond. Only one woman shook her head, saying no, we will not say. Further, the crowd of sprites moves away from the store and moves in a dense stream. I try to address everyone in this stream, but they stupidly pass by. I noticed a homeless man, I say hello to him, tell him your full name and where you live. He also passes by. Behind me I hear that the homeless man turned and said something, but what exactly is not clear. I ask again does not answer. I left him alone, I finally decide to grab some sprite and ask this question head-on. I grab the first man I come across and ask a question. He doesn't answer, he just brushes me off, and moves on. His eyes were somehow glassy. I move away from the crowd and say - Dolls! And I wake up.

Findings:
1. In an unconscious part of the dream, I encountered an aggressive animal that looked like a small red dog.
2. Hit the observer position. I watched my dreaming body from the side.
3. A couple of advanced characters who discussed a secret plan. Ala non-organs.
4. Walked through the air.
5. The population census did not take place. Nobody answered me. It is also strange that there were many homeless people.
6. Problems with voice. It is difficult to speak out loud. It seems that my own thoughts are sounding, but I do not utter a word.
7. Characters have a glass look.