lucid

Day 1 - I dreamed that I was in a bus with L and K². L had some kind of rope and I think I cutted it. She was kinda mad and asked me for another one,
while K² keep pushing me around telling me to give L another rope. I irritaded myself and told K² to shut up. And said to L that I would buy another one,
even though in my dreams I didn't had money(like in real life).
Then the dream jumped and I was holding L hands and playing around with her. Then we kissed and I was surprised as fuck. We kissed for a while
then the dream jumped again. We were in her place (wich I never saw),
and she was leaving with her grandparents. Her grandfather keep pushing around too and being rude. Out of nowhere he took a bootle of alcohol (wtf),
and started to throw at me spheres of liquid(alcohol bending?), when it hit me, exploded and burned me. I said to L that I was gonna leaving and I think I awaked.

P.S.: I just know L from sight and never had an actual conversation with her, for a time she was my crush I didn't fell attracted for her anymore
in a few months. Now with this dream I don't know.
P.S. 2: K² are 2 twins that I just know from sight too. What I think it's strange is that both L and K² didn't mean a lot to me, I don't know why they
become DC's.

Walking to church. We had been to the adventure playground with the boys, and then home to get soothing. Now we are back on our way to church. Cross a road, and descend a frosty slope, pulling boys in a pulk. Notice that I am sliding, become lucid, continue sliding, across level ground and up hill. Woken up by noise.

Last night yielded several dreams, one of which became a short Lucid. Yay. I think the dream inducing app I bought off the iPad app store is finally working for me. I just need some more comfortable earbuds to sleep in cuz those gummy ones hurt.

My first Dream was intensely real, which seems kinda odd to me because my intensely vivid dreams don't usually come till later in my sleep cycle. This one revolved around me and this girl I used to be friends with in high school. Don't remember every detail, but I do remember that we were house hunting. I remember constantly thinking to myself that I wanted to be with her, that I wanted her to myself now. The last part of that Dream I remember was going into a poolhouse to check it out and we started to get a little naughty. Oh yeah. Before it got too heated though, my real girlfriends mother showed up. She caught us doing our thing and was only upset by this because we were supposed to be browsing the location, not testing it. In the Dream, I thought that they were related. I felt that this girl that I once knew was really my girlfriend now, and that my currents girls mother was actually the old friends mother.

I had a couple other small dreams that I don't remember much so I won't waste your time with them, but the one I became lucid in is a little more interesting.

I was walking around outside with a person whom i don't remember, when we see a streak of light cross the sky. The light turns in our direction and takes a steep dive into the ground somewhere just beyond our line of sight. We rush over to where it seems to have landed and we find what is obviously an alien craft. We could only see the top of it however because the rest seems to be stuck underground. I placed my hand atop the craft and it began to open. It didn't just lift the top for us to climb in, it separated into thin pink strips and began to arch upward one by one but very quickly.

I peered inside to see a descending tunnel that was lit up with shades of purple and pink. Me and my mystery companion didn't even hesitate, we jumped in and slid down the tunnel. While we were sliding down I noticed that every part of me which made contact with It glowed an electric blue, as if my movement caused a reaction with whatever material the ship was made from. We reached what seemed to be the bottom and I stood up to look around. The inside was set up with rooms very similar to what we have here on earth, bedrooms. It seemed I was now in the living quarters of this ship. Before I could really take a moment to think about what I was seeing, someone comes from around the corner...

I knew instantly that "she" wasn't human, despite how remarkably human she appeared. She had to be the most mesmerizing Asian woman I've ever seen. Her eyes were different somehow. They were an icy blue color and sparkled as if they were made of diamond and she had sunlight coming from behind them at all times. Not an intense sunlight, but just enough to catch your attention the way a beautiful diamond does when it hits the light. She also had a dog with her, or at least he appeared to be a dog like the way she appeared to be human. There was something different about it as well, but I can quite put my finger on it. I was a little hesitant about the dog, but not her.

She began to approach me, so I responded in kind. As I reached her I opened my arms and wrapped them around her, embracing her the way you would an old friend that you believed had died. I was never afraid of this experience. I held her for a little bit before stepping back and taking a look at my surroundings. This is when I noticed that the floor was made of tile. Not even nice tile, but the kind you would see in older houses that haven't been maintained very well. This is when I realized I was in a dream. (lol I laugh that it wasn't the alien craft, or the perfect being that signaled a Dream for me, it was the tile). I thought to myself " there's no way an alien spacecraft would have earthly tile comprising the floor, I must be Dreaming".

It was at this point that I noticed she had bowls filled with snacks nearby. Must've been a welcoming gesture to have party snacks for any humans brave enough to show up. I used my trusty telekinesis to lift a Dorito out of the bowl and into my hand. I thought "cool" as I bit into the chip, knowing for a fact that I was Dreaming. I usually can't remember to do what i had planned to do when I become lucid, this time I did. For all you True Blood fans out there, you will understand who I am talking about. Once I became Lucid, I tried to bring Jessica into my Dream in order to have my way with her. (Im only human) I thought to myself "Jessica", and the Asian girl's outer shell fell off like magic fairy dust to reveal a red head that had her back to me. Unfortunately she didn't get to turn around before the Dream faded to black and I awoke, burning up in my covers! Damn covers! I tried to renter the Dream with no success. This marks the first time I've become Lucid in a few months now. Yessssss.

Thank you for reading. I will continue to keep my journal updated with all my crazy Dreams for your entertainment. For those of you who don't know, Jessica is a red headed, blue eyed vampire. And in my opinion, perfect.

I finally did it. I unitentionaly did a WBTB and a DIELD that resulted in a long ass vived as hell lucid (: I forgot how I got to where it started but my friends grandma was giving me some clothes that she bought me when out of nowhere I realized that I was dreaming. I remember doing a RC but I'm not sure when. I mighthave had a false awakening, did the RC then and forgot i was lucid until later. I'm not sure, but then I spinted off down the hallway jumped off the staircase and did a flip down to the bottom (this is my own ohuse btw). I'm shooting across rooms and I make it to my backdoor. By this time the dream is just becoming more lucid. I open the back door and say to myself," Here I go, time to fly." I'm a little tempted because it's dark outside but I go out anyway. I start to sprint as fast as a can and jump right over the back gate. At first i start to fall but i remind myself i'm dreaming and start to lift off again. Insted of the golf course being in my backyard it's a medivel warfield going on. I swoop down and grap on of the troops with one of my hands and smack everyone else around me with it. I have no idea why xD then I drop him and somehow end up back at my house. At this point the lucid wen't away for a second because I was taking out the trash (which I would never make myself do lol) but a saw my family out by the car except my mom and sister were these weird alien things that kinda looked like that Jar Jar guy from Star Wars? and my dad was a giant. This just futher made me believe that I was dreaming(: so I what should I do now? First thing that comes to my mind was to head over to the hot neighbor's house and maybe get lucky so for some reason I try and give my mom and excuse to go over there and she says' she'll come with. and so will the rest of the family -___- So i'm walking over there with them and it's very bright out now. In fact it's more vived then ever. I say the word "contrast" and things become more detailed in color. Then I say "brightness" and everything got even more vived xD the rest of the dream wasn't very exciting. It was me sitting at the house while everyone else was in the pool. It took me about a minute or so before the lucid fadded away and someone tried to poke. at the exact moment i woke up aha. It was a really cool expeirnece. definitely look forward to more lucids!

08-31-2012 -- [Last dream of the month. And it's been a busy one for dreams. Not much going on the rest of the night, just dull fragments that aren't worth noting, but the last couple of hours of sleep, something longer, more detailed, and lucid.]

One little bit that may not have even been part of this dream, but a fragment from another ... I was driving down an on-ramp, just about to get on a freeway, when I hear a gun fire. I seem to be on a motorcycle, and there are a couple of motorcycle cops here, as well. We all stop, crouch down on the ground, and start looking around for who might be firing. We here no more shots, but more and more shell casings keep appearing. Finally I glance up in the tree we're standing under, and the guy with the gun is up the tree. He isn't firing at us, but is dropping casings on us.

There's almost a sort of secret agent vibe to the first part of this. I am in a house (or maybe it is a pub) somewhere, just kind of doing my own thing, when somebody has given me a package of papers. They say something that kind of indicates the model in the photos will do whatever she is told, and I find I'm kind of worried for the young lady.

The various papers are mostly advertisements, though what they are advertising, I'm just not clear on. They all feature an attractive early 20s blond model, and there is nothing obviously wrong, but more and more I find myself worried about the woman, and I slowly start talking to people about how she might need some help of some kind. The response I mostly seem to be hearing is that I'd better watch it, or my girl-friend will get jealous.

So I talk to her. She is also attractive, blond, and probably early to mid-twenties. I explain I feel the young lady needs help of some kind, and make it very plain it's nothing more than that. My gf seems very supportive of this, and even points out hints that all the photos in the ads show signs of being doctored, which seems to indicate that the girl may not even be as attractive as she looks in the ads. The one straight photo (as opposed to ad) seems even less real.

My gf has put down the packet of information on the hood of my car while we talk, and somebody else has come by and picked it up and started to walk off with it. I chase him down the maybe 20 yards he's gotten, and take the packet back. I put it back on the car hood, and sit a pizza box on top of it. But when I walk back into the bar, my girlfriend has run off, and there are now hints that she got very jealous, though there was no reason for her to be.

By this time, though I have no idea why, either my girlfriend, the girl in the ad, or perhaps the bar, is French. There is an extremely tall woman across the bar, probably at least 8 feet tall, and mostly legs. She is wearing a yellow mini skirt, and somehow seems to like walking around and even standing in a wide stance, and I can't help noticing it would make it very easy to look up her skirt, since it ends above head height for anybody sitting down.

I walk back outside to get the packet off my car, just to find packet, pizza box and car are all now missing. I'm depressed and annoyed here at first, because this seems all too common. I come across a woman talking to a man, and both are dressed up like Disney custodian crews. I ask them if they know what happened to the car, packet, and pizza. They indicate they have no idea on the car and the packet, but a guy had just given her this half-empty pizza box. I look inside, and it does indeed look like my pizza. I give it back to them, and invite them to enjoy it. After all, I've already eaten half of it, and am not really hungry at the moment.

I start walking west, getting mellower by the moment. I don't know why, but I just start to think I am dreaming. I decide to use a test directly from some of the dream techniques I have been learning about, rather than my own usual dream tests, and I take several fingers of my left hand and start pressing them against the palm of my right hand. Nothing happens at first, but I just press a little harder, and slowly the fingers pass through the palm until they are sticking through the back of my right hand. Yup, I'm dreaming.

I see a hotel further down the road, and figure I'll head there, start going through some rooms, and find some fun. It is something I have done frequently in my dreams. As I am walking over a bridge toward the hotel, I notice something very strange off to the side, a combination decorative stream and miniature golf course. Some guy or gal (probably guy) is playing a hole, but the bridge beams block sight of most of the person.

I walk on to the hotel, and pick up a couple of sets of keys, figuring with my dream powers they'll work for every lock, much like the keys at that hostel we once stayed in, in London. I don't know why, I never use keys in these dreams, anyway. This is a rather large, multi-floor hotel, and very fancy. I wander around until I find the elevators, and they are so fancy you can't tell what are the elevator doors, and what are the wall decorations. So I end up standing at the wrong place and miss the first elevator. I have to push a button and wait for a second.

I get on the elevator and push the button for the third floor, figuring that ought to get me up high enough to start finding rooms, but the elevator doors open onto a small flight of around six stairs. This seems odd. I climb up the six stairs to find myself in the middle of a really fancy restaurant, which I have found on the third floor of many hotels in the past ... in my dreams, at least.

I pass through the restaurant and up some ramps and things until I find myself in a hallway on the fourth floor, looking at actual hotel rooms. There is an attractive brunette, probably about 35 or so, walking into her hotel room, and I decide to start by following her. She has shut the door, but I walk right through it. Her husband is there, though, and I don't want any trouble, so I just walk through the wall into the next room.

I walk further and further 'down' the hall, but not in it, just walking through the walls between the rooms. Unfortunately, it is about three in the afternoon, and almost nobody is in the rooms, and the few rooms anyone is there are filled with couples, so I don't get to have any fun.

I've gone through maybe eight or ten rooms this way, but the next wall I walk through doesn't put me in a hotel room, but some kind of operations center, keeping everything running smoothly at the hotel. They don't see me walk through the wall, but as I pass through the room, they do realize they don't know me, and one guy starts hassling me for my red security badge that gave me entrance, when I don't seem to have one, he is all over me.

I start to run, and he gives chase, but he's slightly faster than me. I give up on making a quiet departure, and just go running toward a wall, but right as I reach it, he grabs on to me, so I pull him through the wall with me. He's shocked, but still isn't letting go. So I grab him, push him back against the wall, and shove. He phases through it, and loses his grip on me, so he's stuck on the other side.

Unfortunately, he has a radio, and he wastes no time in letting the entire hotel know where I am, what I look like, and what I can do, so every employee in the place is now chasing me, trying to grab me, and making it impossible for me to get anywhere quietly. I try to drop through the floor, but floors and ceilings seem to be much harder to go through than walls. I try to fly, but the ceiling is too low, and I am still easily reachable by people stuck on the ground. I just can't get away. Then I wake up.

[You'd think this would be amazingly frustrating, but it was just slightly annoying, and mostly challenging and fun. I am also convinced I need to somehow develop a dream power of Jedi mind control in my dreams, so I can just walk up to guys like this and tell them "You don't even notice me. I am not worth bothering with. These are not the droids you're looking for." and just go on my way.]

I had a false awakening chain last night. It lasted for an hour; it was horrible!!!
Funny thing is that I was lucid throughout the whole thing, but I had absolutely no control. I tried to control the dream at a few points, but it didn't work.

Each false awakening was almost exactly the same. Eventually, I was able to realize how to tell if it was another false awakening. My dreams always seem to be really choppy, as if they have low FPS. However -- after about 7 false awakenings -- this stopped. Then I started trying to check by the blurriness of my surroundings. This got fixed 7 FAs later as well. Then it just keeps going and going. I don't even know how many FAs I had in that one dream. I do know this; it lasted for exactly one hour.

Eventually, I realized I could probably control the dream. After all, I had quite a lot of lucidity. I tried to take control; absolutely nothing happened. I also kept doing reality checks. At one point, I thought I was once again awake, but then while talking to a DC I said "wait a minute" and did a RC. Sure enough, still dreaming.

I tried multiple methods to wake up; none worked. So, I just decided to sit and wait out the FA. I closed my eyes, and I instantly woke up! Is that not frustrating?!

Nope! I was still dreaming. Unfortunately, I never found out about this. The dream soon faded out.

I really underestimated these FA chains. I'm quite spooked now.

Dream 1:

I'm in the right backseat of a car. My mom is driving and someone is in the passenger seat. We're driving to someones house (which is actually my dads) to pick up a pizza. We get there. They hand us the pizza, and a small child (?) We put the pizza in the left backseat, and the kid in the middle. The kid says "My stomach hurts because I have to pee really bad" My mom starts driving faster, almost running a stop sign. The kid vomits. My mom vomits. I plug in my headphone to reduce the noise. The kid is yelling about something now. My mom is flooring the pedal. I stick my head out the window. I'm panicking now, but I realize it's a dream. I close my eyes to try and make the kid go away. It doesn't work. I open my eyes to my bed, the room has a strobe light affect from light to dark. The kid is still yelling. Not under my own control, my body crawls off the side of my bed. There's no floor. I turn over to where my back is facing the void. The kid's voice becomes demonic in tone, and says "I AM LUCID DREAMINGGGG"

I wake up, frightened, but I go back to bed :l

Dream 2:

I'm with a group of people inside a video game. There are two people we are supposed to meet at. I'm with them but nobody else is so I go get them. A short walk and we're there, but I look on the map and we are WAY far away from where we need to be. about 3 of them run off somewhere, and 3 stay with me. We get a car,and there is room for one more person. We drive up to the rest of the group, but theres too many people. Nearby, there is a weird building, with a big rocket thing in front of it, and a smaller one beside it. I hop the fence, and get the small rocket. I enter and have 15 seconds to leave the building before the big rocket takes off. I land by my group, and wake up.

Dream 3:

I'm talking on the phone with my mom's ex boyfriend. We are going to the mall, but he says I have to stay with him. I didn't want to for some reason, and was arguing. I couldn't understand anything he was saying now because my phone would only pick up half of what he says. We get to a restaurant with some people I know. I open my laptop, we are going to play a game of minecraft, but like some weird server thing. We have two choices, easy(91) or hard(97). We chose hard. My alarm for school wakes me up.

I am working with Christopher and we are on the first floor of some house that I do not recognise. There are two or three of his friends with him. They are normal guys. The Christopher and I go downstairs to the ground floor and I am talking to Chris. At one point he just leans back, relaxes and says few words. I am shocked!! I cannot believe my ears. I look at him and ask him, "you can talk?" He says that he always has. I am trying to understand that he has been normal the whole time, and faking all his disability! I ask him why? (cannot remember what he replied, but something along the lines that it is better for him like this. I feel it has to do with his mother).
I tell him that he could have such a good life if he came out, since they have so much money. He could travel, go out etc. Rather than having his ass wiped every day! Then there are his friends as well, they all know Chris is normal! How could they keep it in secret??
I am becoming little suspicious, because this is unbelievable! I start thinking it is a dream!! I look at one of the guys sitting in the sofa and close my eyes, wishing he changes. When I open my eyes, he is in a different position, and in fact I am not even sure if it is the same person. I then take his head and look into his eyes. They are blue and green, with some colouring at the right bottom part. I close my eyes again and wish they change colour. When I look at them again they are orange!!!! I think SHIT!!! I then look at my hands and see that my middle finger looks like one thick triangle like finger with a little one on the top! I AM DREAMING!! ..... and that is all I remember!!!

Well, I guess my brain picked the perfect time to achieve a breakthrough, considering this is my 100th enty now.

Anyways, this dream was very cool because I had SO MUCH control. I mean, in my recent lucid dreams, I have had really good control, its just that in this one, it felt like I was there for hours!

So anyways, I was at my house. I don't know why but I suddenly got the notion that I was dreaming and did a nose pinch. It worked perfectly, and I did it like 100 times just loving the feeling of knowing I was dreaming! I spent probably a good hour in the dream world just making plans for when I was going to work on my dream goals. I decided to go about getting everything perfect, would then wake up from the alarm and record that I was about to work on my dream goals, then go back into the dream where everything was already prepared and FINALLY accomplish my goals. Well, the alarm went off like i expected and I woke up. I had this strange feeling that I had just been having an amazing dream, but my need to go to the bathroom sadly made me forget what it was. By the time I got back to bed,i just went back to sleep, totally forgetting everything.

Then today at school, I suddenly recalled this dream and was pretty mad that I had let myself forget it! At least I am having really good control now though, so next time, I am going straight to the goals.

See ya.

AWAKE
DREAM
LUCID DREAM
DREAM SIGN
NOTES

(Probably a lot missing here) I call down the stairs from my room "Where is the _____" and hear my Mom reply "It's in the drawer". I walk to a drawer in my room under my desk (Not there IRL, I think it was the drawer from under the desk in my office.) I open the drawer and lift up two or three large books. Underneath are LOADS of pens. I notice that they are copies of a pen I have 2 of IRL, and I acknowledge in the dream that I don't have this many. Also, I notice that the pens are shorter than I remember, and turn around to compare them with one on my bedside which is there IRL. I notice my bed and the window next to it. I'm assuming I woke up, as I can't remember any more of the dream.

*Non-Lucid*Lucid*

I was in a night club with my mom and brother. I saw a guy at the entrance and I circled back to him after ditching my family near the bathroom.

A cat jumped up to me and I became lucid. I watched my hands as I do RC (cause I never really look before), I could feel my finger going through my palm. A cat was playing with my hands. I was at a modern house, I was going to pick up the stones on the ground to observe it but I woke up.

Every time I go back to sleep, a thought will trigger me to become lucid but I don't remember what it was.

08/30/2012
12AM-9AM

Dont remember any other Dreams last night except this one....

The first thing I remember from this Dream was controlling elements. I was practicing my concentration in the Dreamscape, trying to control spheres of fire, water, and earth. I was combining them with each other, without extinguishing one another. Earth didn't absorb water, fire didn't scorch earth, and water didn't put out the fire. I was making these spheres float and then fall into each other, then separate into three spheres again. I also remember my girl being there and she was telling me how gifted I was.

The next part of my Dream took place in my Grandmothers house and involved family I haven't seen in a while. They were all watching tv while I was practicing my telekinesis, calling a ping pong ball to me. I would throw it to one of them, and pull it back before they caught it. They all seemed marginally impressed by this but it didn't matter, I haven't performed telekinesis in one of my Dreams since before I started hitting the pipe regularly, so I was stoked even if they weren't. This is part of my reality checks but tonight I think I became lost in the Dream and didn't reach Lucidity because it's been a while since anything like this has happened.

The last part of the Dream I remember was when I was using a computer. It was more like an iPad or laptop, but I remember being able to read a character bio from some story I have never seen before. Most Dream books say that one way to check if you are Dreaming is to check print. It either appears distorted, or when you look away and then look back the text has changed. Well this doesn't work for me. I was able to read this bio without trouble, and the more interesting thing is that it seemed to be a bio of a character I'm creating for my book. I also saw a picture of this character next to the bio.

One big reason I want to regain my Lucidity is for my book, Dreams boost the creative process undoubtedly. I believe tonight's Dream signals progress in my endevour. Not only did I manipulate the Dream in a fashion that is common for myself, but I have started to bring my story into the Dream as well, just as I wanted to. The next step of course is to gain full Lucidity and delve deeper into the world of the Dreamscape, my story.

Ok so I had about 2 successful LDs a few weeks ago... And just had another last night. Although this one was short because I had to wake myself up on purpose... Mainly because it was... Kinda bad. So I was in the dream, laying in my bed again and it was very dark but there was still a little bit of light. So I turn my head left (which is the most strength I've had so far lol) And there's a weird black ball floating next to my bed (just above the mattress), And I can see it's kinda shiny. At first it didn't seem like such a big deal, but then it started to make random growling noises. ...A bad LD? And I was obviously scared so I forced myself to wake up. I don't know why it seemed so scary to me at the time, because now it just seems stupid. I could have stayed in the dream longer, but as I said, I had to force myself to wake up because I was just too scared. I'm just happy that it's another LD. The more I have, the better. All I actually do to get LDs it seems, is just go to sleep normally but still have the idea and want of an LD in my head... Weird... But it works...

I was on the outskirts of the city, near a railway during night. I was in the middle of nowhere actually but the train went through there, however at middle of the night there was a creppy transport system. It was more like a wagon, which went alone and it was extremely cheap. I was with my mother and my sister and they insisted me to take it rather than a taxi that was extremely expensive. So i took it, it was the first time for me. It drived alone and of course I had to go alone since it was very small. I went through the railway and every 20 meters there like alleys where there were stops, but those alleys could only be reach from the city (the railway was now parallel to the city street, i had to go to the end and then turn to the right). I was really scared by the way, but i finally got to the city safe. When i reached there i jumped off the wagon before it stopped and i started to walk. In reality i always look carefully at buildings, and in this dream i looked at them too and i realized i was dreaming. However i already dreamed for a long time and i guessed that woker me up.

AWAKE
DREAM
LUCID DREAM
DREAM SIGN
NOTES

I've got to say, I didn't actually think this dream meant anything at all at the time. But I was reading the entry in my DJ (My actual DJ that is) and I think it says a little something about myself. I'm not sure about the chronology of the two dreams I had last night, I remembered the other one before I remembered this one, but I feel like I dreamed this first.

I step out of the passenger seat of my dad's car onto the pavement. I don't see who it is dropping me off. The buildings along the pavement looks like the opposite side of the road to where I have my guitar lessons. But I don't cross the road, I turn around and start walking down the street. After walking a few metres or so, I hear someone calling 'Skiddo!' behind me (Skiddo is my nickname at school, it's sort of a variation of my surname.) I turn around and see one of my female friends from school called Chase, who I was briefly very into, calling me as she gets into my dad's car, through the passenger door I left open. I'm a little confused about why she was calling me and then didn't say anything, so I question reality a little. But I shrug it off and turn around. The road I was walking down is suddenly really crowded with DCs. Everytime I try and go around someone, someone else cuts in front of my path. It's almost as if the DCs are deliberately trying to stop me getting to my destination. I'm not sure if I transitioned into another dream or woke up, but that's the last part of that dream I remember.

So, the reason I think this dream is sort of a reflection of myself goes like this:

I was opposite the music shop where I have guitar lessons, but I didn't go in. I think this represents me choosing other things over the one thing I'm really passionate about - music.

The school friend / crush calling me from behind and then not saying anything. I take this to represent outside distractions putting me off my goals by taking up my attention with meaningless things.

Finally, the crowd of DCs trying to stop me walking down the road, and cutting in front of me. Realising that DCs are in fact representations of my own subconscious mind, that meant that I was stopping MYSELF from walking down the road. I think this means that I myself, am stopping myself from achieving my goals. For example, whenever I walked around one DC, another would cut across my new path. This reminds me of me making up new excuses for not meeting potential bandmates, because I was very nervous about meeting new people.

I could be wrong about all of this, but I'm considering it kind of a breakthrough.