non-lucid

=== Going To School To Do Integrals After Being Up All Night ===
I had been up all night and I had planned on skipping school. It looked like I was in an apartment with my mom, in the layout of Variel St. I decided I was going to go anyway. Apparently math was on the list of topics that day. I was thinking of integrals and seeing these formulas. Something about integration symbols that required a functional transformation prior to calculating the integral, and that they type of integral determined the function to perform, whereas standard integrals just require the integral step and no prior transformation. I referred to this thing called a "natural integral". Complex numbers came up too.

=== Slinky Diving Boards ===
My mom and I are watching a scene of these two people, falling down this series of diving boards like a slinky, really exaggeratedly, like, flailing in the air. The diving boards are successively lower and further forward, like stairs, and head over head, the girl on the left (her right) and they guy on the right are tumbling, board by board towards the bottom. My mom rewinds the scene at one point and starts it from a point just a half second from where I would have liked her to, like when she fast forwards past commercials and cuts off a word or two. So they're falling falling until they're about to his the water, and it seems like one of them may land in the water and the other might get hurt, landing on a solid surface, but they both seem to hit the water. Then I'm in the water and telling this older woman not to worry, that "Bodies are beautiful", because it seemed for some reason that her top was coming off or was gonna end up being off. She responds as though she doesn't exactly agree.

=== The Dogs With That Illness ===
I lying on this floor and there are puppy dogs all around me, just hoarded around, and someone comments about how the dogs love me. Someone says something about these dogs being known for some disease, some old fashion but heard of disease. They either get it a lot, or don't catch it very well, maybe they're like carriers that are immune or whatever, but at that time I have this feeling in my nose, this slightly stuffy hot feelings. I'm thinking maybe their presence might be healing, but I'm not entirely sure they won't make it worse.

=== The Balconied Chasm ===
I'm with this kid and Spanish is involved, he's like speaking to me in Spanish. Then, we're by this building and there's like this plaque on this building. I mention to the kid that this place was specially selected for it's appearance. This place was like, two rows of balconied buildings, across a wide chasm, that could have had who knows what below, but it was far down. All the buildings had this like, clean tight appearance, and the plaque said it was chosen as the location due to that. So I told the boy, asked if he know that, and then showed him the plaque where it said as much. I felt like maybe we could lose our footing and get hurt, and the kid didn't seem to card, and I just let go of my concern out of a tiredness of always having to feel concerned about something.

=== Dementia Patients With Their Own Agenda ===
There's this group of patients at a hospital in a room together. They are suffering from dementia. They're trying to protect one of their own, by keeping some information from the powers that be, in the hopes that the person they're protecting will get a benefit they were looking for, I think the ability to be checked out. Then at one point something goes missing and they do this search. The search is carried out by the patients and at the end this guy goes to tell this other patient guy about something that had gone missing with the intention of concealing that information from the powers that be, but those powers had gotten involved surreptitiously, so the one patient was really informing an authority when he thought he was just talking to another patient.

=== Getting All Your Friends Killed ===
So this scene starts with this girl standing by a body and it's of some guy she had killed. Then this other girl comes up and says to that girl that she's gotten all three of them killed. Then this guy shows up and he's going to kill them. He rounds everybody up and he takes them along. As he is taking them to some destination, he runs into me and he asks me if I want to go with him and maybe do some work for him or if I want to be dropped off where the girls are going. I say where the girls are going is fine, and I'm basically saying I'll take my chances with death over being your minion. We get to our final destination and he comments to some other guy that I was the best of his workers. This guy rides by on a bicycle and I think he's going to kill me, but he just rides by. He takes the girl over to like a pier. He gives instructions telling her to jump into the ocean water at a certain time. Then I start seeing this scene about how, these whale like creatures, there are so many of them in the ocean and you'd think they run into each other a lot more often, but they way they barely dip to the ocean floor and then bound back up to the surface in these archs keep them from running into one another very often. I could see one under water and it put me to mind of a rolly polly, and had these like, claws. So with this woman in the water, that group of men is going to like, turn into these creatures, hunt her and rip her apart and eat her. As that's getting ready to happen she ends up instead on their ship as a hostage. It seems her life might be spared. They have this thing on her throat and she's told if she doesn't scream she may survive. This thing causes her a ton of pain, and she does her very best to not let any sound escape, and so far none has. The guy says that her throat will eventually heal itself, she need not worry. Well then at some point she ends up escaping into the water, and they try to catch her. I can see the water shining along the water in search of her and they see her, but then she skirts away at a lighting fast, non-human, speed. Those guys send a squadron of four women into the water to find her, and they seem like a formidable team. At one point they try to get her, but she dives down deep into the water, so they follow her, but she does something tricky and ends up making one of the squadron members seem like her down there, so that one of the other squadron member's rushes on her. They do, and they figure out they're wasting their time. Now the scene changes (perhaps a different dream fragment later) and the female escapee is by this 18-wheeler. She takes her opportunity and slips over this fence. On the other side is this group of three family members playing. When the girl is followed over the fence, they talk to the family, and the family seems to have an agenda, and they try to act like they know nothing and save the girl, but it also seems like they have some skills, and maybe are intelligence forces against those bad guys.

I'm in this government type experiment lab, it's as if I've woken up here in this insanely lit up room. I see a person in a white lab coat messing with stuff on a table by the wall. I get up off this table I was laying on and I go for the door and open it and sneak out without that person knowing. I wander through some dark halls that look that of a hotel. The floor is carpeted with dark maroon and navy blue. I turn a corner and see two female workers in white lab coats, they panic with fright at first, but then they turn aggressive towards me and chase me and yell for other people that I escaped and to come get me. I run back around the corner I cam and into this door, and there's another female in a white lab coat and she panics at first then chases me so I run around into another door and shut it and lock it before she gets to me. Then open a different door and see stairs, I run down the stairs as fast as possible and now the stairs are going down in a spiral. I get the the lowest level, and I sneak into the lobby, I see only one worker at the front desk, he's preoccupied by the computer so I make a mad dash for the glass door, and sprint into the streets of my childhood neighborhood. I hear cops sirens coming from a short distance away. I know they're for me. I run straight in the middle of the street and it's a very dark night. For some reason now I have this long stick, and I'm still running towards my old house so I can get cover, but I see this man in the distance but its dark I just see his silhouette. I hide my stick behind me but at first it's side ways so I think her can see it, So I put it long ways behind me. Then I come up to him and I expect him to attack me, but he asks me what the fuck am I doing and I tell him that people were after me and now the police are coming for me, then he says I can hide at this place he was heading. So I follow him just to the left into this building lit up from this inside with gold light. When we are in I here people singing in unison. I think it's a church. He takes me passed the other people and into this back room, he tells me I can go to sleep in here. I see this woman who looks to be in her late 50's sleeping on this bed, and there's ratty blankets all over the floor and a teen girl laying in one area, and a young boy about 7 laying on the floor behind the door beside a open sliding closet. I take care not to wake up the older woman, I fear she'll freak out that I'm in here, but the girl and boy are awake and smiling at me, they seem happy to have a visitor, the girl motions me over to sleep by her, so I walk quietly over, but the older woman slightly wakes up and looks at me. I expect her to kick me out, but she just seemed annoyed that I was up and she told me to lay down and get to sleep so I do, even though the blankets are so cold, so I lay near where that girl warmed the floor blankets.

I dreamed that I was in a car with my father and he was driving on a highway. Then we jump over a ramp from the road and were in free fall. Then the sceen slowed down and I realized it was a dream, I thought: "Oh this is a dream let's get out of the car and do something fun" and i tried to say the same to my father, telepathicaly. I didn't think of the fact that he was only a projection of mine Even though I knew it was a dream and wanted to get out of the car, I forgot that I was almighty and instead of just thinking another sceen(which I normaly can do, when I understand that it's a dream), I tried to climb out of the window.

NON LUCID
*Vision of the view of the milky lake of oddiyana.
*Padmasambhava appeared in the sky on a lotus.
*I beat someone in some kind of game.

I have to wash the car, but am concerned that the temperature is so low outside that all the water will instantly freeze on the ground and on the car. In addition, I do not have shoes on.


fragment #2

I see a butterfly, which in the dream is a "monarch." However, it has far fewer black stripes and white spots. I am slightly puzzled by this and feel foolish for mistakenly identifying this common butterfly for my whole life.

In real life, I'm going to Europe in April for two weeks.

So in my dream, I said bye to my parents and got on the airplane. I arrived in a city where I go many times in my dreams - in fact, it's one of my dream!Europe cities - and it was pretty chaotic. I managed to get to my hotel and the guy who worked there was nice, but he was so busy he kept stopping to do other stuff. I told him I used to be a goal keeper and he said he'd talk to the coach.

I left the hotel and met a friend of mine. She lives in Scotland and I am actually going to meet her in April, which is really exciting since I've known her for like four years. Anyway, she took me to her house, but it wasn't really her house. We were in an alley of a really crowded street. Her mother was really nice to me, but her brother glared at me a lot.

She told me she'd show me around and we started walking. Then as I was crossing a street, I saw this plaza and I went there. My dad was there and he said "this never gets old" about a celebration that was happening. There were two huge red bells hanging and a red paper dragon would come between them. It was pretty.

I went back to my hotel and there was something happening there. Pregnant and drug addicted girls were also staying there and one of them had died, so the others wanted to leave because they didn't want to be there when the cops arrived.

I remembered it was time to go home and I realised I had done nothing during the weeks I was there. I was afraid of my parents and how angry they'd be once they found out I had wasted a trip like that.

I left the hotel and already was in Brazil. A guy called me over and he told me he knew I was a goal keeper. He asked me if I wanted to play handball or indoor soccer. I wanted to play handball, but I knew their team was bad, so I chose soccer.

And then I woke up.

In this dream I had a hysterectomy operation (something I may need to have in reality, not certain yet, but got mentioned by my doctor).

While on the operating table, I died or almost died, and had a near death experience. I knew that to return back to life, i had to find enough will to live, but i was not sure whether I had enough. I did find enough only to "wake up" from the near death to a scene on the operating tabel where I was opened up for the operation, in pain, and the medical staff unaware what had just happened to me.

I woke up from this at 1am quite shake up and could not fall back to sleep without a half melatonin dose. Depression sucks.

Both these dreams are quite realistic as in everything is normal.

1. [Non-Lucid] [Kinda Vivid]
I'm in a building and decide I want a drink so I asked my carer (Nick I think) and we went over to the drink stall thing and I took a look (they had fanta, slush puppies (even saw the logo) and a green can I forgot the name of), and I chose the green can.

2. [Non-Lucid] [Kinda Vivid]
I'm in a shop that seems to have a few grabber type machines, I have £2 to spend so I looked around and saw this machine with I think dog plushies in it.
I was about to go use it when this kid decided to use it before me, he won the exact plushie I wanted so I was like I wanted that 1 in a joking like fashion, this guy who was stood with him decided to give it to me, I was happy . I gave the kid the £1 he lost in the machine (I saw the money in my hand as I was giving it to him, there was £1 and a 50p). Now I have this cute little brown dutshhound type thing
I'm now leaving and I get a random thought {Aren't you going to say goodbye to Emily} although I had no idea she was even there.

Morning of January 28, 2014. Tuesday.



In my dream this evening during a nap, I was looking at a dream journal site (not that common an event - I had only been vaguely thinking about the site). It becomes a standard to post dreams in a combination of actual photographs and pictures of a dream entry written out on something. In my case, I had posted the photograph of a very large cardboard poster near a fence (seemingly on a distorted version of our last home on Barolin Street) with a few miscellaneous items in the front yard, including a tricycle and an American football and some other items. I remember almost all of the “dream within a dream” in what was written, but quickly forgot it all upon waking (in the past, I had read entire novels in a few of my dream states, which is extremely uncomfortable - usually the repeat of a novel I had read in real life, but usually with a lot of additional distorted scenes).

In an “additional notes” area (in the “actual” photo of the cardboard poster that my dream is written on in large enough letters to read when on the web page) there is mention of a girl named Angélique in our family - with a note on the acute accent on the first letter “e” as if it had special significance in my dream (that is, the implied documented dream within this dream). After this, a poster from the “actual” dream journal site makes comments relating to her own dream, which I also cannot remember. I know there was something about “being a portal” and something about “lu” combined with another syllable or word.

The play on two meanings for “poster” is curious in this dream.

Morning of January 28, 2014. Tuesday.

Dream #: 17,207-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. Readability score: 70.



There are typical composites in my dream, including the ditch of the north area of the Cubitis backyard. There is a fictitious house where the railroad tracks were in reality (where there is now a highway). There is a typical intruder (trespasser) scenario with unknown young females.

In a later segment, Zsuzsanna and I own a restaurant in an unknown area that is otherwise reminiscent of the east corner of Stadcor Street and Hamilton Road in Wavell Heights. We also own a cinder block house on the other side of the restaurant’s parking lot.

We are going to live in our restaurant as if it was our residence. Both buildings are one-storey and about the same size. They are the only buildings in that half of the street. The rest of the lots (to the north) contain trees. In correlating the imaginary area with a map, the restaurant is south-most on the corner. North of it (assuming Stadcor Street) is the parking lot, then the house, then the trees.

Behind the restaurant, the parking lot, and the house seems to be a high hedge (and more trees beyond) that join with the trees in the middle area of the street. An L-shaped hedge borders the south side and part of the front of the restaurant. Beyond is a road with much more traffic. It runs east and west, modeling Hamilton Road. There are at least three high stacks of used automobile tires on the opposite side of the street from the front of the restaurant. I am unsure how we came to own all this property.

After going into the restaurant with Zsuzsanna to check it out, I see that it is mostly empty (other than having a few picnic tables for customers). There are no curtains on any of the many large windows that mostly face the north and west. I think that the first thing to do is to put up curtains and then move in our furniture and later, possessions. I remain unsure about the status of having restaurant supplies.

Two annoying unfamiliar women come in thinking our restaurant is open. I get the impression that one of them had worked for the previous owner. One of them rudely sits on the countertop (the counter of which extends east through the middle of the building). I believe that they may be the same women from the earlier scene where they had two daughters, and they were all being intrusive in our other home, although mostly only in our yard.

I tell them that this will be our home, but then I think we may be living in the house near the parking lot, though I remain unsure. I absentmindedly sit atop a picnic table, but then I get down after realizing how obnoxious an act it is.

I remember a story in the newspaper (from real life) where a woman stalked and continuously threatened a teenage girl who had been sitting atop a picnic table at a park.

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Journal Entry non-lucid #19 Dream, non-dream (Comments)
Background:

Dream fragment 1 from 10:20pm-4:00am" Kid from church": B was the theme of the dream. I don't know what he was doing, but he was there.
I found out while in church that a kid has sleep paralysis and he feels his body going inside of him. I became excited and told him the possibilities that await him with L.D. He was excited but more scared than excited and he told me he is just a kid and doesn't want to do that. I was jealous because I have been trying to induce SP so I have been thinking about that.
Dream fragment 2 from 10:20pm-4:00am" My sister's driving": I was in a P.E. room. I ran across these crazy girls. My friend, EY was all the way on the other side. I reached him and we were talking about something. I turned around and I saw my sister driving like a maniac she nearly ran over this weird girl dancing in the freeway. I then called my sister to tell her to stop driving like that she won't pick up. I tried again and again she won't pick up. I then called my cousin, but she was already walking towards me. So, I told her to confront my sister about her driving. She told me to calm down. We went into the school building. I showed her my apartment. It was a luxurious apartment. Nice carpeting, huge flat screen tv, and artifact all over the walls. I tried calling sister again and the phone was calling random people. I woke up and went back to sleep

Dream fragment 3 from 4:05am-5:30am" Skyscraper football": My uncle was in my apartment and he was telling my cousin that he needs the teacher's signature. She didn't want to. I was looking out the window and boy was it a view. I lived on a skyscraper. My uncle then took us to the top of the apartment complex. A whole football field was their. Then he took out a coach. The coach was yelling at my cousin she was scared and started to cry. My uncle told her she better start respecting him.

Dream fragment 4 from 5:33am-6:09am" Stop a bully": I left the building after talking with my dad. I was walking with this fat girl. she was talking to me about school and I was walking with her to this tall building. As I was walking I looked at my hands and I was about to start counting, but I didn't. The girl then confronted this bully that was surrounded by lava. She told her to stop bullying people or else she would throw her into the lava.

There's a girl walking up a narrow attic staircase that she very much doesn't want to go up. There's something that looks like a child at the base of the stairs, forcing her to go up and see 'mother.' 'Mother' is something that this girl has fed people to before, but she's never gone up the stairs herself. Now she's failed the pair somehow. Whatever's at the top of the stairs feels nightmarish enough that I decide I don't want to see this, and take just enough control to back out of the scene. There was some resistance, and it felt like a race against time, whether I could get out before the girl got to the top of the stairs.

I'm standing somewhere airy, white walkways, a few white walls, mostly open space. There are a few pages on the ground, a story I was reading, but I feel too on edge to focus on it. I put my back to a wall, that helps.

The Magician on a city street with a little girl. He's saying, "Countless thousands of worlds, or (something, along the lines of 'a few') worlds and those you know." She asks what he means, and he says nevermind, but he's talking about the price for what he's about to do for her; something's going to be lost. He doesn't want her to feel guilty over it, so he doesn't explain the details. He raises his staff and these gold shapes form in the air around them - flat, curved, with sharp points, something like a tribal tattoo come to life, I have vague associations with wings and clockwork (they do resemble stylized wings, but no clue what the clockwork association's from) - and then their surroundings seem to shatter, taking them somewhere 'between worlds.'

Memory gaps and vague fragments after that: those same two characters standing in front of images like holograms, representing people that little girl knew, but the images are fragmentary, like they've had pieces digitally erased, leaving a bit of hair or a corner of a dress hanging in midair, but never any faces. Something to do with the importance of the little girl remembering "Rose," but there's a trick to it - she knew someone who was called Rose, but who also used another name, and it's that other name she really has to remember. Four knights, two in red and two in blue, male and female, and the man in blue has some message to do with the kid's father and something about a doll.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm playing some kind of game based on Middle-earth - there's no sense of me physically playing a video game or the like, I seem to physically be there and it seems to be a real place, but I think of it as a game. At the moment I'm trading in some weapon and given a new selection to choose from. It's mostly swords and daggers. I choose a staff. This alters the way the game is played, although I hadn't realized it when I made that choice; it removes me from the fighting and instead allows me to travel freely, flying over the countryside, exploring the world, unlocking all the elven settlements that were otherwise hidden. I won't be able to continue the storyline this way, but it has its appeal.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

A movie about robots, filmed in first person POV, full of scenes designed to make you feel sympathy for the robots, even while the robots themselves remind you that they're just tools and there's no need to feel concerned.

Belle and a newly-human, rather fragile-looking Rumpelstiltskin have been traveling somewhere and are now in some dimly-lit house where they're finally meeting with Rumpelstiltskin's son. (His personality's so different from Bae's that I hesitate to use the same name for this dream version.) Belle and the son talk while Rumpelstiltskin's sort of collapsed in a chair, Belle's next to him, the son's on the second floor and looking down at them over a railing; she seems suspicious of him. It seems they've met before, in a shared dream, and something that she saw in that dream is making her suspicious of him now. He warns her not to take shared dreams too literally, as other associations tend to leak in.

SO I am writing the first sentence in a novel, I keep editing the sentence to get it perfect, and finally it just 'clicks'. And as soon as the sentence clicks I get sucked into the story I am writing, I start watching my novel unfold like a movie, it was amazing. I guess I will attempt to write the sentence I wrote in my dream . . .

The light diffuses in a golden glow from the tip of my nose as I snake my way on my stomach through this tunnel while trying to hold on tight to my candle, my only source of light.

After writing that sentence and editing it over and over until it was perfect, I suddenly got sucked into that world, but also I could still feel an author in my subconscious writing it as I experienced it.

My dog is ahead in the tunnel scouting for me.

I really can't remember the words anymore from the novel, but I remember what happened. We were invading a fortress of imps and the route we choose was a very low narrow passage that could only be traversed via stomach crawling. When I get inside the fort, we battle imps and there are some other mages battling, and after the fight we all head back to our place (another fortress or wizard tower) and talk about what happened in a debriefing in one of the towers rooms. Then one of the mages cast a spells and two of them fall into a void of darkness, a portal in the ground, and a few moments later pop back out one after another. Then later one of the female mages is asking me where I am sleeping, and I get the feeling she wants to join me because I am alone and the other two mages seem to be with each other. Then I wake.

Very realistic dream and the whole time the dream was playing out I could still feel in the background of my mind the words being written by the author of this novel. Amazing indeed.

Also I remember them mentioning something about being pulled into the 4th or 5th dimension, briefly I think right when the dream started.

So I'm sitting on my couch, and I'm looking through photos of people and stuff, and suddenly I dissolve into a photo, and I see my friend at an even laughing and smiling and winning stuff, then it fades to another and different subject and scenarios keep happening, but I feel happy seeing my friend happy, but then in one of the still scenes since only I can move at normal speed, everyone else is slightly slow speed, I walk out of the shops door an the jingle bell on the door makes everyone one go normal speed and aware of me, and my friends and the other people chase after me, my friend with friendly intent, but the other people I feel want to kill me.

There's a party being had on the side of my house outside. I see family I haven't seen in awhile. I have no knowledge of this party, I'm looking at the party from out the kitchen window, so I get the energy to go out there and socialize lest everyone bitch about my absence. I see one of my friends, I ask my self what is she doing here. This must mean this party is for me. Everyone ignores me, bu my friends keeps trying to go in front of me but I keep moving because I wanted to look at everything. Then this rust colored old van pull up slowly into my driveway, to get away from my friend I run over to the van to see who it is, I see it's two of my half sisters friends, and like in GTA V they have stars, and I get pissed that they would bring their criminal activity to this party, cops might come. But when they look at me I lie and say '' Oh I thought you were someone else", then I walk away and for some reason they and everyone else laughed at that like I just told a joke. I guess they laughed because I just realized it wasn't my party, it was my fucking half sisters party. I go back to were people are and I go to get nachos but my friend wont get out of my face, so I run into my house and shut the door so she won't follow me anymore.