non-lucid

Journal Entry non-lucid #16 Dream, non-dream (Comments)
Background:

Dream fragment 1 from 9:20pm-2:52am"": Construction workers and I wanted to go on top of this huge crane. They were building a bridge of some sort. I was also racing down a mountain. I remembered after writing down old dream.

Hmm. So tonights dream was harder to remember for some reason.
I was at my parents, and I had to pick up 'Mr Amazon' from the next town over. I was given half an hour. So I left without checking to see when my brothers babysitter was leaving.
I got halfway there, and was all 'I SHOULD CHECK WHEN SHE LEAVES.' So I drove back home.. So it's been about half an hour now. I talk to the babysitter, she said it's fine, she can stay a little longer if I'm late. Then I go to the toilet, which only has three walls.
I get out, and get a drink. I'm going so slowly. And then I go outside. And down the driveway. Is my old boss.(A trainer from the Racetrack)
With a float, one of my jockey friends, and a horse!
So I run down, looking at this mare. My friend says 'I thought you'd want another horse to join your one!'
I reply 'I have three now! But I can only ride one.. She's beautiful!'
My boss falls over for some reason. And then puts his hand out to be shaken. Then says 'I suppose you want a hug?' so I hugged him on the ground. xD
Mum came home, so I ran back, and asked her to pick up 'Mr Amazon'
She got up me, telling me I've made him wait for an hour, and I was meant to pick him up, blahblalblah.
I couldn't give a fuck. I had a new horse, in the same bloodlines as my old favorite race horse I used to look after for him.

Dream 1: A supposed housemate invites her female friends over to our house for a Cook out, strongly hinting that I should go out and have my meal eIsewhere.

Dream 2: My mother, sister and I are lining up for something. I try to get into the queue at my mother's spot but take my turn at the end of the queue instead. My sister lost her phone and asks me to ring it. I do but type in my own mobile number (from my home country) instead. I then ring it again and we find her phone.

Common theme: women, crowds, home/family

Extremely long and detailed recall for the most mundane pair of dreams imaginable: cooling my heels in a lobby while waiting to speak to someone currently in a meeting (getting a drink of water, idly eavesdropping on the couple who came in towards the end, considering getting out my phone just to have something to look at, looking at the clocks - which displayed two different times, that's something at least), and then one about a drive with IRL family & friends (looking for a place to park so we could switch drivers, fetching tissues out of the luggage for L.S. who had a cold, shuffling our belongings so that one bag could be used for trash) ...just overwhelmingly mundane and in long and excruciating detail.

Normally I don't bother to digitally record dreams that bore me, but these were so boring as to be remarkable for it. I'd prefer nightmares.

was attacking me and i exploded finally at the end i was like i fucking hate you and your cat made me bleed and now i'm gonna have rabies. and i was really concerned that i had rabies the whole dream and needed a tetnis shot, but i couldn't get one bc i was supposed to go to hawaii in like 4 hours but i hadnt packed. my dad was pretty chill but alex n cindy n mom were just crazy and didnt realize there was a demon cat that literally attacked me and wanted to kill me like every 2 seconds. i kept slapping the damn cat but it was relentless

Me and my grandma enter this amusement park, the evening sky is unnatural, above it is like nighttime, but on the ground it all looks like daylight lighting. We can see the ferris wheel, and we barely got into the place when we stopped at this shopping area with lots of booths. Colorful ones, we go to this navy blue one and they are selling these electronic things that look like a nose and you put it on your nose and you blow air through your nose into it and each one makes a different sound. The one I was messing with was making siren sounds haha. My grandma had one that made synth sounds, and then a crowd of kids ran up and grabbed all the other ones before we could see what sound they made, so me and my grandma just bought the last two that were already in our hands and we wore them and breathed through them and we laughed the whole time.

I'm in this neighborhood, to me it is beautiful and there's big huge trees everywhere with autumn leaves, but I hear these people saying that it's ghetto. I ignore them, and grab this weird looking black bike that was in the gutter, my mom pulls up in her car beside me, she offers me a ride, I tell her no because I found this bike, she tells me she'll drive in front of me the whole way, I don''t know why. I keep riding my bike and this guy with big hair rides up beside me and peddles faster than me and his bike makes a noise, I take this as a challenge and peddle my bike faster and I totally pass him, but then my bike gets a flat, so my mom pulls over and coincidentally she has a spare bike tire. So she gets back in her car and continues to drive and I get back on my bike and keep riding, then my mom just drives away and she makes the street that I'm riding on covered with this black goop metallic tar sludge, it's thick and the tar is getting all in my bike tires but I'm still trying to beat the boy with the big hair, then my front tire pops and I don't notice at first but I feel my bike slowing down and it's so hard to peddle it forward and when I look down I see the front tire completely flat, So I get to the side walk and my grandma is there and she gives me a brand new sparkling tire, not like the used one that was in my moms trunk, she even helps me put it on and she pushes me so I speed up and pass the guy with the big hair. Then I get to this crowded public area with brick office buildings and my mom is standing there, I stop and realize my back tire is popped again, and my mom gives me an angry look and she is holding a five and twenty dollar bills, then the wind blows and it falls to the wet gutter and she puts her foot on it so the wind won't blow it and no one will grab it, while she waits for this transportation van to go, there are these two prissy stuck up rich girls, and their mother in the seat buy them, the wind blows the money out from under my moms foot and blows into the air and one of the prissy girls grabs it, I grab it from her hand but she holds on and I punch her in the jaw and she lets go, then her I'm assuming sister starts hitting me with an avon catalog, so I hand my moms money back to my mom and then grab the girls avon catalog and throw it into the wet gutter and she and her sister and their mother yell at me, so I slam the car door shut and the van drives off.

So me my sister some friends and my grandma are walking down this old street that looks like Hollywood area, It feels so chilly and news papers are being blown everywhere. My grandma tells us we are going to taco bell and she is going to buy us lunch. We follow her into the this door into a taco bell, it's pretty crowded but not too bad. She gets in line and we go to this table and everyone sits down. My grandma comes back pretty fast with like this huge box full of burritos and stuff. I notice every one already has sodas, and some are sitting there for anyone, but i didn't want regular soda, I was at taco bell so I wanted a baha blast. I ask my grandma for a cup so I can get some, she asks me what the hell that is. I tell her it's a drink, she tells me okay and that she wants to try it, so I go to the back were the soda things are and these young kids are just standing everywhere over here and they aren't moving and they are giving me dirty looks, I ignore them but they make me feel uneasy. Then I fill my cup with baha blast, and struggle to find the proper size lid for it, then I finally do but I accidentally grab three stacked together, I feel them all still staring at me, I throw away the one on top and on bottom and take the middle one and I feel their stares intensify and them pissed because I threw away two lids, I think to myself I neeed to hurry and get away from these people. So I try to put the lid on but it seems so difficult, I try to snap it on from every side but it goes down slow, then I have to get a straw, why is there so many sizes, and some clear ones and red ones and the blue ones are way too long for like slushees or something. I decide the white ones with the blue lines is the perfect one, and by this time I hear the kids and their parents mumbling about me and making psh noises, I feel like such a fool, so I stumble to put it all together and I spill some baha blast on me and the counter and I know they expect me to clean it up but I just wanted to get away from them so I left as I hear them mumbling about how I left a mess, then I got back to our table and I feel relieved and I let my grandma try my baha blast and she likes it, and I eat the last burrito.

Although not in lucid form this time. I've been having bouts of insomnia this week, so last night when I accidentally awoke during the Witching Hour, I decided to try to WILD, recalling what CL and I had discussed in the podcast last night about getting back to sleep successfully after a WBTB. I fell right back to sleep, and proceeded to miss some pretty big signs in this Post Zombie Apacolyptic dream:

I was suddenly standing in an alley in a residential area, with no memory of who I was. I instantly thought to myself "Ok, try to remember where you just were, and where you were headed.." (per the RC solution to help with the "jump cut" problem we discussed in the podcast last night ). I had no clue who I was or where I was, but pretty soon I noticed that there weren't any people anywhere. And things looked pretty trashed. Like when the scavengers have finished raiding houses after some kind of mayhem. "Zombie Apocalypse" popped in my head, and I knew it was the truth. I just started skipping through the alley and noticed that I had unusual strength. I could skip several feet in the air, and could go quite fast. (Really, Ophelia? Ffs.) it was a bright warm day, and I remember feeling really thirsty. I had a water bottle on me with maybe 2 sips left. I needed more. I kept skipping along and ended up behind a commercial building of some sort. I noticed a big cooler full of ice and cold water bottles! It made me thing there must be live people close, since the ice looked fresh. But as I went for the water, I heard a loud machine come up behind me. It was a medium sized, remote operated tank that I knew had been designed to wipe out zombies. One if the barrels turned and pointed straight at me. I used my superhuman speed to dive behind the large cooler at light speed. I watched as the tank fired 3 clumsy shots around me, completely missing. Suddenly the machine shut down and I heard a woman's voice. She walked up to me and helped me up, giving me a. Little of water that I don't recall if I ever drank. She told me something about what was going on, but the only part of the conversation that I remember was the explanation as to why I couldn't remember who I was. I was a clone. Humans had been successfully able to clone some of us who had been bitten by zombies, before we turned. The original me was destroyed, and the result was a healthy clone that had superhuman strength. I asked her if she was a clone too and she said yes. No clones had any memories of their original lives. Crazy huh. Anyway she took me to this rigged up clinic where there was a lady doctor who was responsible for some of the cloning. I don't remember why we went there, but when I met the doctor I asked her if she was a clone too. She coughed up some blood into a handkerchief and said no. She had been bitten and didn't have much time left. Before I could ask her if she was going to save herself by cloning herself, I woke up.

I gotta say, even though this dream was nonlucid and I missed some big signs, and I never even got to see a single zombie, I felt like freaking Alice from Resident Evil. I woke up feeling pretty bad ass

Me and and a fleet of around 40 missiles [we are actually missiles] are swimming in from the dark of the ocean, I guess we are on a mission, we need to get onto shore and get the enemy. I see so many of my fellow missiles in front and behind me. We start to see under water mines EVERYWHERE, different lengths some high some low, they barely come into visibility within 3 or 4 feet. Some of the other missiles begin to explode and the water makes this weird ear numbing noise. I think that it's a good thing I'm not straight up in the front, I can go in the path where some already blew up guaranteeing my safety. Then me and this other missile make it to this under water tunnel that has a fan going in it so fast it would chop us, but then the missile in front of me extends his reach like a cursor though the fan and to a on/off switch on the other side, turns the fan off and we both head in. We are ahead of everyone else, I still hear mines going off far behind us. the missile that was in front of me fell a little behind me, so the other fan at the end of this tube I reached my cursor to the other side and flicked the switch to off, and the fan slowly stopped and we passed through. We could see a few other missiles made it to the land via a different route, but they seemed to keep going their own route and me and the other missile were following the yellow soft glow lights that seemed to be leading us. Next we had to go into this dog house that was on the greenest grass I'd ever seen in the most beautiful backyard. It was a little red one with white trim, that other group gathered up too close behind us, I yelled at them to wait as there is a white plug blocking the hole in the floor of the dog house that we need to go down into. I took it out and begin to squeeze down, it was a tight fit but I made it and the others followed, but it was so dark and small under there we couldn't find our way.

Well this one is disturbing for me, and prolly you too but I don't want to cheat my dream journal so here goes:
I am in a night scene in a village or town, and there are groups of dogs running around the streets, I think (in hindsight) patrolling the neighborhoods for terrors. I am with a group of people one of them is at the entrance of a stairwell with a door heading down into a basement/catacomb. He says a prayer before we head in and down. As I walk down the stairs I also say a prayer out loud for us, a protection against fear blessing. "Dear Lord, please bless us with a protection against fear, in Jesus name we pray, Amen." I reach the bottom of the steps and there is a large group of people, many children and a few adults staring at us. I asked them what they are doing here, and don't really get much of an answer I can remember. The other guy with me I think he says they are vampire thralls. So I grab one of the females near me and look at her and she has bite marks on her neck. The other guy grabs one of them and suddenly there is a big vat of most likely holy water in the room and he pushes its head into the water and watches it dissolve away and the thrall ceases to be. I was behind him during this process so he could not see me, but I was still looking at the bite marks and I did not realize what I was supposed to be doing. I think at this point I was semi lucid, and I was confused, so I leaned forward and kissed her on the bite marks perhaps thinking I was supposed to play the role of vampire. I stopped kissing her because I felt her energy instantly change to confusion, she was wondering why I was doing that instead of putting her in the holy water. Anyways the other guy is done killing his thrall, so now its my turn and I take her to the vat, and push her head in and watch it dissolve. But here is the gross (nsfw) part. I start grabbing her chest and feeling her breast as this is happening, and also her butt and well lets say it was necrophilia and it woke me up and left me in a state of extreme confusion.

So now I am awake but still have this background thread of the dream running in real time in my subconscious. I wonder if those are thralls, where is the vampire, and just then he shows up. We get in a fight and I grab him and dive backwards into the vat pulling his head into it with me. But something happens the vat starts dissolving me, and the vampires face is badly damaged, and I completely melt away. But the vampire is standing by the vat now in a state of pain it seems and I am still aware of the scene. So I use all my willpower and make my spirit essence become strong enough that a mist of my arms come out of the vat and grab the vampire again and pull him back down. But he grabs the sides of the vat with his arms and is really strong resisting. Then the other guy (who now is a misty spirit like myself for some unknown reason) jumps on his back and our combined force brings the vampire into the vat and we all 3 die and the dream ends.


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Another dream scene same night, I am observing some sort of battle almost like a fantasy MMO game, but much more intense and awesome. One of my IRL friends is playing it with his party, and it is like the holodeck in star trek so it encompasses our whole perspective. Anyways he is summoning an amazing dragon that he is holding over his head and the dragon is launching all sorts of magic projectiles at a big beast they are fighting. Some of them get killed by my friend is the priest and he cast a mass resurrect spell and heals everyone to life again, and they battle some more and defeat the beast. Was a sight to see! I want that game!

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Different dream segment, am sitting at a table with a bunch of old Army coworkers/friends. They are catching up with me and one of them is getting a Lifetime Achievement Award. The other one I found out is promoted to Sergeant First Class, but the one that got the award was also demoted to Staff Sergeant (prior to the award). Anyways I had a semiracist/judgemental thought and woke up and had to ask forgiveness to feel at ease.

Me and some random DC's, about 2 woman and three men are hurriedly walking through this cafeteria, it's dim and loud and it looks futuristic. Then we barge into this door and walk into this room that it brightly lit up, we all sit down, I don't know what's going on but I just float along, they're making plans for trying to find someone, someone bad. Then one of the guys shows us a video of who we're after on a little video recorder, we see in the video this blonde girl and this brunette guy who has this man strapped into a hospital bed, and they put a shot into him and say it's to paralyze him and that they need to to do experiments on him, then suddenly as we are watching one of the guy in our group seems enraged he points to the blonde girl in our group and says "That's you in the video!", then we all look at her, he says how could she because he became closer to her than all of us in fact he had a crush on her, she looked worried and innocent and kept saying we don;t understand and that she can explain, I got the vibe that she was right, because the guy who showed us the video seemed suspicious and conniving, and he had this dirty smirk the whole time the guy was yelling at the girl, so I knew we didn't have the full story and that it was probably necessary, then the girl said that the guy strapped up was a zombie and that it was necessary for the sake of all the people, but the guy who liked her was to infuriated and reached for his gun, and by the time we all looked back to her she had ran through the door that led to more brightly lit up lab rooms. They all took chase after her, and I followed, we got into a room that had three doors with windows, one door was from where we came from back into the lit building, one door that led outside to the left gated area, and one in front that led outside to another gated area. This room is lit with outside day light. The girl ran out the front door straight ahead, and she jammed it shut, me and the others realize it's of no use and importance so they go out the the left outside area. I stand in this a room a little longer watching the guy who loved her and the conniving guy angrily try everything to get into that room, she's just looking through the window with a pained look on her face, then she walks away. The guy who loved her climbs up the wall a bit to the vent that leads to her outside area and brakes the glass above, I'm not worried because I know she's probably gotten away so I lose interest because my interest was the blondes safety, so I go out the left outside door, and go sit with my comrades I guess you say. I see them sitting in the shade against the cool brick wall. Then we see the army commander on this tall stage area, he is so mad and he's angry about one of my comrades, he wants to kill him, I turn to him and tell him we need to sneak away because now the commander has ordered his men to search this area, so I grabbed him and we walked through this crowded area around the corner, I hear the commander yelling in a microphone that his enemy only has a shitty shot gun, and I look to him and see he has a sawed off shot gun, I realize this will draw attention to us, but surely he needs a weapon so we keep going into crowds of people trying to hide, then we hear the commanders men shooting multiple rounds into all of my fellow comrades and people begin to run in our direction trying to get away and we begin to run away as well.

I'm not in this dream, just zooming around spectating from different angles. There is three people and their clothes are torn up slightly, and they have blood and dirt all over them and their faces and arms. They're in this grass field that is meant to lead people somewhere, like the home stretch of a marathon race. There's booths, and plastic flagged string leading the grass field one way. One of the guys just sit in the middle of the field and then the other two a man and a woman go sit of to the side by a booth. This place is completely empty, but then I see a mass crowd of bloody zombies groaning and walking towards them. I look to them and wonder why they aren't running away. Then some zombies get up to them and the zombies seem to inspect them, then I come to the conclusion that the people must've put some sort of scent that blocked out their human scent and made them smell dead, so then the zombies start to pass them and continue down the race path, but then the guy who was off to himself gets up and starts walking against the crowd towards the other two and is talking. I cringe because surely the zombies don't talk and will recognize that as a human trait and attack them, but the the other two get up and walk all normally and begin to talk. I am stunned, and then this blueish zombie guy in a torn business suit walks up to my visual and gives me the deepest look and it expresses sorrow, I am shocked, and I am feeling empathy, then the zombie begins to speak, a bit slurred at first, he begins to tell me his life story and he seems saddened by it, I notice it's only his life story since being a zombie, it's as if he doesn't remember from before when he was a human.

I had a strange dream last night.

I'm in my apartment with six people who are my friends (but i don't actually know them they are random DC's). The apartment resembles mine, but is totally different than the real one. We are playing music, but the instruments don't make any sense at all. I don't recall what the others where playing, but i was playing....a piece of cardboard. (yes, you read that right and are not dreaming...or are you? Quick, do a reality check!). We where playing some kind of Jazz tune but i wanted something fast and more upbeat. No one wanted to play anything but that jazz though. I decided to take it upon myself, and started playing a different song anyways. The rest of "the band" ended up playing what i was playing. We began playing faster and faster, and every time we sped up it got louder and louder. It was getting to a point that i was getting really tired and had trouble keeping up but i was very happy, spinning around playing my cardboard. Right before the climax of the song, the dream fades and we are on a circular race track in the clouds. There are no clouds above the racetrack, just the race track being clouds itself. The clouds/track was a sort of really light Amber color, it was quite beautiful. there was some space between the racetrack and the surrounding clouds, so the track was separate. off in the distance there where black clouds, making a sort of ring around the entire perimeter. Me and the six friends began racing in go karts. The race continued on, and the faster the carts went, they started transforming. As we went faster the carts turned into "customized" karts if you will. They each resembled one of the Mane Six from My Little Pony. I had a Rainbow Dash kart, and i thought that was weird. (because Rarity is best pony). So the race continued on like this...i was having trouble taking turns now though because the Rainbow Dash kart was too fast. I still managed to continue though, and we all just kept going around around the track. At this point, the karts transformed again, and they where the actual ponies they resembeled. (my friend riding the karts where gone somehow). I was now riding on the back of Rainbow Dash as we flew through the air. The rest of the ponies just sat in the middle of the track and cheered us on. I was having so much fun, it was incredible. But, Rainbow dash kept going faster and faster and she wasn't even able to stay within the track anymore. We where doing large circles around the entire perimeter, just barely missing the black clouds. I knew where going to not be able to stay within the area if we kept going fast. I tried to tell Rainbow Dash to slow down but she laughed and said "yeah right".

I hear Applejack yell, "Don't go past the black clouds!"

It was at that precise moment, where, we went past the black clouds. There was a loud roar and my vision was shaking. Rainbow Dash stopped abruptly, and flew us back over to the Mane six. A giant Cyclops came out of the black clouds, and a Castle was being raised out of the racetrack. (castle on clouds, really cool to see.) The Cyclops began trying to swat at us furiously, while also destroying the castle.

Un-fortunantly this is where i woke up. That dream had alto of potential, too.

I should also note that i don't write down every single dream i have here, either out of laziness or if it is one that i would like to keep personal. So if it seems i haven't had a dream in a few days, do not be fooled!

I should do more, I guess - but here one dream, I really liked a lot:

I grew up (mostly) in a village at a lake in the Alps.
It is one of my most persistent dream-signs - the whole setting - esp. our old house - but I didn't realize, I was dreaming there again.
So anyway - I wanted to go swimming - but at the lake were tourists everywhere and the water was less than crystal clear and I was disappointed.
But then somebody told me, there would be a lake prior to the big one - directly in the mountains - close to the wells.
There are such small lakes - but the one I dreamt doesn't exist.
Soo beautiful - surrounded by a bit of meadow, which was a clearing in a beautiful forest - and I went swimming and it was really joyful - a great dream.
Swimming I also often do in dreams - and not irl lately - should go to a public swimming pool maybe - I need a bit of workout - always liked swimming.

There is another motive, which keeps returning - me searching a (new) place to live. This was just for staying close there.
So I looked around and found a rock with a hollowness - it was rather small for a house-rock - maybe 4 meters high and as broad - free standing.
With a cleft to crawl through - but inside was a cosy room, which I decorated a bit and put in my mattress and there I had my secret vacation-home in the rock.
I even had a fire-place and there was a hole to the upside of the rock for the smoke to evade through.

Bit later - other people arrived - I kept my rock secret - but the people were nice - and it was clear to me then, that the ones finding that lake were somehow special, interesting people - so I went swimming and talked with some of them - they called it the Ring-Lake - and I wrongly dream-remembered*, that that was indeed the name (I know a part of the original lake, which is called so - but it is just a natural bay irl).

Later a friend of mine showed up and took me with her to a "lake-party" at the big lake - these do also exist and take place every summer.
We got ourselves beer - and I got x-mas cookies (I love them - best sweets in the world if home-baked - esp. the ones my mother in law bakes) but I didn't find/get at my money in my back-pack - so she paid.
Next motive - me searching my - often a lot of - luggage for something and getting frustrated.
Then we watched a theatre-show for children - on very small stools and almost the only audience. The piece had a witch, who looked like these over-enthused esoteric around 50 years old women, I met a lot of through my mother - we deemed her un-impressive and went on.
Then there sat a former boyfriend of mine - and I wanted to talk to him - but he seemingly not with me.
And I also had problems speaking - but tried hard - and woke up from that.
Very unfortunate - because I was starting to suspect something, when I couldn't speak properly - dream time was through then I guess.


Fazit: Incubate your friggin' dream-signs!! And don't just tell yourself - if I see - then I dream - just posted a failure stemming from such under facepalm - but rather mantra myself into doing RCs, if I see/experience xyz.

This dream had almost an overload of dream-signs:

Geographical setting around lake I grew up close to
Looking and finding a place to move in for living
Swimming
Searching luggage and getting frustrated
Ex-boyfriend
Not being able to speak

Six of them in one dream - and I stayed happily non-lucid.

Made a mistake with my alarms - the app needs to be open, for them to go off - I noted, it was not - but my dictation-thing, when I woke up naturally quite late.
Was awake for the next one still then - and the one after that woke me up - and I tried it out as a micro-WBTB with mantra - in the end I fell asleep to a non-lucid.

Buuut: before that was a short phase of - very short - disappeared once I got a bit excited about it - HH!!
And pretty strong ones - bit of vibration and a strong feeling of weightlessness - but at the same time movement - swerving about - even falling.
That was the second time of my life, I had strong bodily HH - any HH, actually - first one was after a longer WBTB and 2 min. of just looking at the back of my eyelids on a WILD try - on my second ever WILD try!!

And such I made a lot of tries the last two months up to half an hour - never again with HH or success in WILD (but quite often with a following DILD).
I guess, I need them some more times, before I can avoid getting so positively excited about it..
This is progress towards WILD, though - and makes me very happy indeed!

It was not on my back but in my usual position on my stomach and turned to the right.
Will copy this over to my workbooks and in the alarm thread also.






*that's a phenomenon, I am interested in..