non-lucid

I remember two dreams from last night. No lucidity unfortunately.

Dream 1: I was performing onstage as a musician. However, I was wearing just a T-shirt on top and underwear on the bottom. Nobody was laughing; I was just performing and everyone was acting as though everything was completely normal. I was with a rapper who introduced himself - I think as either Jay-Z or the guy from the Black Eyed Peas. Regardless, the image is too fuzzy in my head to remember what he looked like exactly. There was also a pretty girl who was singing as well. We were all performing together. If only I could remember the song...because it was AWESOME and sounded amazing. (Of course, it slipped from my mind as soon as the dream faded, and I remember feeling a sense of dismay as that happened.) Then, the underwear somehow managed to get ripped, in the worst possible spot, and then I was embarrassed ahaha. Later, after the performance, this guy I know was there sitting in a chair, in his church clothes. I talked to him for a little while. I think I was going to change into decent clothing when the dream faded. :')

Dream 2: Can't remember which one occurred first. This one was more frightening. I was in this enormous building of sorts, vaguely reminiscent of Portal 2 which I was playing yesterday before going to sleep. The building was enormous with tons of stairs. I was being threatened by some creepy people and an old man. One of them took my phone and left with it, and I searched around trying to find them to get it back. There was also a golden retriever with them. I think I did end up getting the phone back before waking up.

So nothing too exciting, but definitely a good night's rest. Recommitting myself to reality checks. Need to do them more regularly.

-I was at my childhood home with Mom and Dad. While I was there, I had a bit of an argument with my Mom. I was very angry about what she summed up as her traditional, conservative attitudes. I said that I had enough of her and her ways, and I spit on the floor (which I actually did during an argument with her as a teenager). She basically was using the fact that she was old as an excuse for what I saw as her hateful attitudes that were difficult to live with. Then, I ended up leaving the house. We both began to fall by the side of the driveway. I managed to pull myself up, and I rescued her from falling. I had wondered if she would have done that for me, but I never got to know as I pulled myself up and saved her.

- I was upstairs visiting with Mom and Dad while Mickey and Karl were downstairs. Mom and Dad discovered something, and I thought they found morning glory seeds that I had been regularly tripping off of as I had hundreds of them stashed in the closet. They didn't find them. Instead there was a microwave like device that was on the verge of exploding or bursting into flames. I handled it very cautiously, as I knew it could burst into flames or explode on me. I decided to take this outside, and I attempted to throw it off the deck. However, this didn't work. I couldn't get it far enough. When I told Karl and Mickey this, they basically said that it would be moved later on.

- You were planning to go back to the town you went to college in. You were going to work next door to a girl that you liked that rejected you. You thought maybe she would end up having more interest in you now for some reason. You planned to get this job at a lumberyard, which was actually there in real life. Then, you ended up going to counseling on the way out. The counselor began telling a personal story of how his one autistic son was "addicted to mushrooms". Apparently, all of his sons were autistic, this one was seriously so. You basically corrected him saying that psychedelics are non-addictive, therefore he isn't really "addicted to them". The counselor begins to get very upset about this to the point that he vomits in one of the dressers. He was saying that you could benefit from the social skills training his son went to, and you greatly apologized. However, you didn't understand why he was so deeply offended, as you were merely telling him facts. Then, you decided to walk around town for a while. However, Mom and Dad ended up picking you up. You saw them in an abandoned house. Mom actually bit your lip, and they were both very angry with you for what happened, especially Mom.

- You went to a restaurant that offered a number of different beers. There was one that was like 15% on tap, but you didn't get that one. Instead, you were looking for something not as strong. You were having trouble ordering anything though. Eventually, you ordered. The meal came, and you drank the beer you got. Karl and Dad got three others that were also really strong. You drank them too, and you just hung out talking.... eventually waking up.

The dream started off with some star wars related stuff. I don't remember the story exactly but it seemed to be an alternate version of episode III. The major difference was that Anikin and Padme already had a kid. (Just one, not twins). Obi-Wan had uncovered Anikin's affair and they were fighting. The kid was scared by the adults arguing and ran away.

The environment they were in was close to that city planet. Only there was a harbor/bay with an ocean in it. The Padme character said something about how everything good in their life might as well be in the bottom of that ocean. And they continued fighting.

I materialized on the ocean. It was overflowing into the city. Supposedly the ocean was acidic due to pollution and it caused people to dissolve when the ocean began overflowing. Dream showed some rather disturbing imagery of that. I was standing on the surface and became lucid. I saw a big wave coming. Everything else started to go black, save for the water, despite the fact that it had been twilight a few moments ago.

I saw the tsunami coming. I actually almost willed it into the dream. It was about average height for a tsunami dream. (Maybe 30 feet) I've had them as small as 8-10 feet and as high as a hundred or more.

"Stop, you've plagued my dreams with fear long enough. What do you represent?"

(Yes, I was expecting the wave to respond. But it didn't. It just kept coming towards me.)

"Very well, if you don't represent any real fear of mine, then I should be able to do this."

I stepped back into a fighting stance. The wave was almost upon me. I did like a karate chopping motion and split the wave to either side. The wave stopped. The entire wave began splitting down either side and quite literally exploding into a cloud of mist. The whole dream was filled with falling water, like rain from the huge wave exploding. Since it was supposed to be acidic I was worried, but I didn't allow it to hurt me.

I was half expecting another wave to come that would be much bigger than the first. That's what happened last time I tried to confront this nightmare. But no second bigger tsunami came. I even tried to imagine what it would look like, encourage it. The giant wave from the planet in Interstellar came to mind. Just so I could show that wave who was boss once and for all. Nothing else happened and I lost the dream and woke up.

I feel as though I'm not done here...

30/4/16:
Dream 1: I was walking along a street when I saw a horse drawn carriage. I walked up next to it and saw sitting aside a girl from my year level at high school. We talk and then go to a concert together, afterwards we need to do something with this other guy who we both don't particularly like. We drive over to his house but my little brother tries to stop us but we end up going anyway.

Dream 2: I went to a KFC to get a chicken burger.

Dream 3: After school from the train station I walked to a dodgy street and saw a bunch of kids from the school going to a restaurant. I try out their food with my brother, however their service is poor, décor poor and food poor. I can't understand why it is so popular, so we leave, exiting through a carpark.

Fragment: Basketball.

29/4/16 (From yesterday so detail probably eroded)
Dream 1: There was a football panel show where they were splitting up players in an upcoming match into good and bad.

Fragment: Something to do with accuracy at school.

Dream 2: Playing a game of football, one big ruckman dominating.

Dream 3: Getting in to ES;L beta and playing, still just a dream sigh.

I was in a dorm room, checking my stuff. I touched the wall and teleported to another room, to meet with my colleagues. We talked for a short while and then I left to east something in nearby fast food restaurant. When I was going to leave, I received some plastic objects like forks or talons. I went back to colleagues room and asked what's about these things. A girl that also visited them said that they represent points which can be spent in any shops. I took my points with my, thinking that they may steal it.

I thought about going to work and said that unlike my sister, who makes art for a living, I'll go to work at sawmill, as I'm after special courses. I touched the wall and got teleported to my room - it was a small, cramped room. There was an utter mess, clothes and all other objects spread around everywhere. I went to my backpack and took some tools that I'd need there, then I took a book from the shelf. Suddenly my previous classmates entered the room and we were talking about our work. One of them worked at the same sawmill I wanted to go.

I left the building - it was a warm morning. There was a gentle orange glow that sun often gives in my dreams. Outside there was my home town, but completely overgrown with vegetation. There was knees tall grass growing out of sidewalks. I met two girls I previously knew and we walked uphill. After a while they went to other side of road. I heard a car and continued on the same side, bit them I looked back and saw that this car was driving on sidewalks, with lawnmower mounted to it's front. I went to other side and after a short while entered a forest. It was a great and beautiful forest. Trees were tall and enormous. There were bushes rich with fruits and understorey was full of vegetation. Going uphill I saw a dam made of gigantic timber logs. I saw that classmate with whom I talked before, there were sawmill workers around him. He was showing something on a nearby poplar tree.

Bed: 23.30
Wake up: ~ 07.15
Now: 07.55

Flirt
I'm somewhere inside. It reminds me of my mom's living room, though different. There a mattress it seems in the living room and a blonde girl lying on it. Her name is Karin. She pulls me on top of her and I'm not resisting. So far I think it's fun. We're underneath the blanket and pressed against each other. She tries to kiss me. Here's why I break away. I can't do that to my girlfriend. In my mind, a week ago we did kiss though. Now I need to find a way to explain this. To our left is a sort of high, rectangular desk. There are some people sitting on the other side of it, facing us. I walk over there and grab the markers that are placed on the desk. In Indonesian, I write that I have a girlfriend. I know this girl is Dutch and I wonder if she'll understand. I do it in Indonesian because I know she's been to Indonesia for a while. I stumble a bit, trying to explain the situation.

Dick
I'm somewhere outside, close to two permanently semi-open straw buildings. The weather is sunny. I'm probably in a tropical area. There are a few people about and I'm talking to maybe 1 or 2 of them. One of them (if I remember correctly) is a bit of a stereotypical surfer dude. He reminds me of Deeks from NCIS: LA. He's being a know it all. We're talking about the weather in Indonesia and I tell him that it's rain season now. He tells me it's not. I tell him that that's what my friend who lives there told me. Here's where he becomes a pretentious dick by saying something like "yeah it's raining, but you haven't seen a real rain season yet if you haven't [something". I'm quite fed up with the guy now.

There's also something about me, or someone else going into one of the straw buildings and coming out again.. with a sideflip?

I'm taking antibiotics right now so my dreams are all over the place! I was in this really beautiful water & was swimming around but every time I would get out of the water I would check my bikini line & shave my hair there, over & over, lol. I saw my grandpa Jacobs & my aunt Jill (she is only 2 wks & 3 days older than me). I kept thinking that them being there was weird. There were these puppies. I don't know why but we kept coming across all of these puppies. Yup none of this made sense to me either!....

When I woke up I tried to go back to sleep because I instantly thought. Be a dragon, be a dragon, be a dragon. I guess the prep for achieving the first task in the TOTY was trying to kick in. So I guess you could say that was my first failed attempt at TOTY.

Dream
I remember being on a platform with some people, a few of which I was friends with I think. I can't recall how we ended up there, but we weren't supposed to be on it. It was like it was heaven or something.. There was this huge demon guy who we were hiding from, but it was impossible to hide up there, I was just crouched down in the cloudy/misty floor with nothing to hide behind. There's also something about snakes being in the centre of the platform though I didn't see any. He discovered me and my friends (we were split up at the time I think) and picked us up. Oh shit.. He starts walking to the edge of the platform and we know he's going to throw us off. It's hard to explain this next part, but while I was being carried there was.. a pair of socks with me, which I think represented my friends? And there was a bird fluttering around, I was in third person, but I couldn't see myself. The bird was trying to save me, so it put a block of cheese on top of the sock, but its plan failed (see? That doesn't make any sense O_O). We get dropped off the edge, you can't see anything below because there's only a thick mist. We're plummeting down, the bird tries to remove the cheese from the sock and I have to get inside the sock. We splash into water, it's kind of green and murky. There's snakes swimming in the water, I climb up on the side of the platforms support structure but there's like fuck all to hold onto. I see them slithering beneath the surface, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. There's a huge variation in size and colour, red, green, brown, blue, some look like they'd be 20 metres long while others are <10 inches. My friends have gone somewhere, one of them is Daniel. They do something and all the water drains away. It should have been really deep water but the ground is right beneath me.. It's all mudflat, I'm super nervous about stepping onto it because there's burrow holes which can only be where all the small snakes went. Where are the big snakes? They must have follow where the water went... My friend Daniel is here now, on the mudflat, there's something about a small snake nearly biting him I think? I can see an exit not far away which we decide to head towards. I walk across the mudflat and there's this one snake that I keep trying to avoid but it never gets further away because of dream reasons.

Dream fragment
This was pretty vivid, I remember being in my bed and everything in my room seemed normal. But then I felt my cat jump on my bed... I only felt it, I didn't turn to look since I was just lying with my head in my pillow. Now I KNOW this was a dream, because earlier in the night I had put her out of my room. At the time I was like "Oh, that'll be Peaches" (my cats name, she's ginger ). I felt her walk around my body and towards my head. I then thought "Wait, didn't I put her out? Hmm but she's clearly here... I guess she got back in somehow?". I absolutely want to kick myself for not realizing this was a dream, I was aware enough to question it but the setting was just SO mundane and consistent with reality that the thought never even crossed my mind.

4.30.16

Bed 9:45pm - 7:20am

Woke up at 2 from first recalled dream, but didn't write it down, instead I retold it to myself every time I woke up.

DR 2:15am

I am with lots of others in some place we are trying to escape from. We all have to go through some kind of a obstacle course that looks like child's playground. It's going slow because only 2 lanes of people are formed and only 2 people are able to cross an obstacle at the same time. Some don't know how to since some are quite elaborate and others in the line behind them are trying to tell them how to cross it.

It's my turn and I am on some elevated platform with steps going up and I have to align something so I can squeeze through a hole. I make it with my partner and on the other side we approach large white wall with large medium dark brown, shiny door. We enter and it's wery dark. All i can see is that we are upstairs and going down on wide and tall stairway. Walls are white. I ask others who are escaping with us what is that place and I'm told it's a church. I feel trapped again and going through some low, winding, round ceiling white corridors I'm telling my partner we need to find an exit quick and I know he he anxcious to get out of there as well. There is a door with red EXIT on top and we quickly, but not too quick as not to raise suspicion walk to it and get out. There was some church staff inside just watching us with mild smile, so we didn't want them to stop us.

It's nighttime outside. I'm walking alone. I suddenly feel lot smaller as if I was walking crouched so I'm not seen by others. Some soldiers start walking by, military vehicles full of soldiers. Everybody is dressed in hazmat suits. Even their armored personel carriers and trucks are wrapped in military greens and khaki, and even their wheels look like wrapped in paper. I get scared but I'm hoping that they are going to be filming a movie. It's interesting that I sense that most of the sodiers are females.

I think I better return to the "safety" of the church and I turn around. As I'm walking I know I made a good choice because I see civilian cars stopping other civilians and taking their wallets and even pushing some of them inside the cars and taking them away.

DR towards the morning
Long and detailed, but don't remember it as much.

Something about my friend scheduled to be there at 2 but she thought she is scheduled at 2:30 and her friend was already waiting for her to have a date in a bar. So I called her up to tell her but someone else took the phone from me and she talked to her instead.

After four days of false awakenings followed by really crappy frags I finally get myself back on track.

I remember the early dreams had something to do with me being on this sand dune. It was absolutely huge. I was hanging out with this new friend that I had made. I think his name was josh. He reminded me a lot of my waking life friend A. Me and him decided to build a sand castle, but for some reason the sand dune was hard like it were made of sandstone.

I could swear there was a lot more to this dream than us starting to build a sand castle. It also overlapped with some other dreams about how I met the guy.

...

There was also a dream about this fairy character. I remember it was actually a 'he' despite having a very female looking body and had two options of what to do in life, to either become a demon or become this love fairy that was an embodiment of dualities. I carried out some quest and helped it to become the better of the two options. (Duality) Upon completing the quest, he became gigantic and walked off into a forest of pine trees while reminding me of some of my dream goals.

...

I became lucid after being reminded that I had dream goals. I know there was more lucid stuff before this. I feel like it was a whole segment that ended in a FA, but me holding onto my lucidity somehow, then leading into what happened here. I just forgotten it. It makes logical sense that it was an FA.

I remember I was going for a bike ride with my mom and dad. We had just left the house and there were two suns. I'm pretty sure I was already lucid, but this was helping. The larger of the two was due east while there was a smaller, normal sized one in the north. The larger of the two suns had debris around it in a ring. I looked at them. Small planets and asteroids, but I swear I saw a haunted pirate ship floating in the sky.

We were riding for a bit when we came to this drainage pit. The pit was different than it is in waking life. There was no wooden fence around it. (There is IWL) and it was on the opposite side of the trail. I nearly rode my bike into the bottom of the pit, despite trying to steer away from it. I had to hop off and walk my bike back up, but the pit had a sort of gravity to it that would probably pull some hapless nonlucid dreamer into a slow struggle against swamp muck and their own bike.

After I got out of the pit, I did a nose pinch for several seconds to reaffirm my lucidity. I then decided to ride my bike in the road, since it's something I've always wanted to do. But I needed a speed boost since the cars go much faster than I do. I used my flying flames to boost my bike to go faster. Riding in the road was fun, except for the cars intentionally trying to ram me and the dream essentially becoming lucid frogger for a second. At one point, I jumped off my bike and onto the hood of a car and rode it down the street.

I saw there was this big conference setup outside, between the middle schools. All of these middle aged and elderly people were in attendance.

"So as you all know the redistribution of legos is very important to the school's budget." One of the DCs spoke. He then went onto introduce the new head of security. I remembered Justme13's challenge and thought he might make a good opponent. I decided to get the attention of everyone and see if I could get him to attack me. I flew into the air and hovered above the conference.

"As you can see, your education has nothing to do with legos, it has to do with your lucidi-tea."

A giant orange and yellow teapot appeared to the left of the conference when I said that. I thought it would aggravate them into attacking me. It didn't, they all just cheered that I was flying. I got annoyed and figured if I wasn't going to get a skilled opponent, I should work on getting to a new and better environment at least. (I think I was thinking of the discussion I had on spellbee's thread about dreamscapes.)

I decided I would fly away from the town to an environment that might not be that interesting, but at least it wouldn't be a middle school. I got up in the air and started flying. I flew past the football feild by the high school and the thing that I remember was that the dream wold was getting more simple. All of the sudden, it ended. It had an edge. Like the void in minecraft. I zoomed out and saw that the whole town was like a SimCity Tile floating in a void, with the greatest concentration of detail near the center. I decided I would fly up but I died and a message appeared like in Minecraft.

"JadeGreen fell out of the world"

I FA'd on the floor of the front room of my house. Nose pinched and was still dreaming. I decided I would dream spin to a beach location. I stood on my spot and started spinning. I didn't change the scene, just destabilized the dream.

I FA'd agian into my bedroom. I did a nose pinch RC and became lucid. I started to get out of bed and noted that there were piles of legos

I FA'd a third time I think this time the room was painted blue with stars like when I was younger. I did a nose pinch RC and became lucid.

I FA'd a fourth time into my bedroom. There was a huge palm tree in a pot at the foot of my bed. I just knew it was still a dream, and red and white mushrooms growing out of the pot. I shouted 'STOP'.

I woke up for real.

Morning of April 30, 2016. Saturday.



In my dream, my wife Zsuzsanna and our children, mostly as we are now, are living in a distorted version of the Barolin Street house, where we have not lived in years.

I am at the computer on Facebook and apparently writing a response to something my older brother Dennis (half-brother on my mother’s side) had written. I end up writing something about Thor (both flight symbol and lucid dream symbol but which does nothing here) and stating how it is good they are making movies from the Marvel comic books I used to enjoy reading as I was growing up. Oddly, I get the impression that the latest Thor movie is along the lines of an Elvis movie, and there are apparently scenes where a large group of girls is hanging around him, but I do not consider that as unusual.

Looking at the computer screen, I see that there are two responses to what I had written, each about a paragraph long. Oddly, I see that the user name is “But Dennis” and with no avatar. He has written mostly incoherent nonsense claiming that no good movies have been released since the 1960s and it is supposedly my brother’s fault (and I later inform Zsuzsanna of some of what had been written). The first part of each paragraph is a continuation of his user name such as in “But Dennis was responsible for the decline in…” (which is why he uses the troll name “But Dennis”; as he solely trolls Dennis). In real life, this had been utilized as the user name followed by such as “is feeling happy”, but the “But Dennis” as a user name seems a bit clever and I firstly think it might be Linda (a niece) doing this but it is not.

Soon, the very common downgrading shift occurs relative to technology. As I go deeper into my dream, parts of my unconscious that for whatever reason cannot accept computer technology, alter my dream without me even taking notice. Instead of Facebook being on my computer screen, it is now in a softcover notebook where the communication still somehow ensues in the manner of continuous Facebook posts. I consider the possibility of my brother replying to the strange unknown poster, but I do not notice evidence of this. Looking at the next page of the notebook, I see he has written more in fairly neat printing, though what he is saying makes little sense. He writes about how a certain sitcom of years ago was one of the last watchable television shows, but then he starts to write about Thor though none of it is actually correct in reference to either the movie or comic book history.

I notice page after page of his writing and begin to realize that he is insane and his trolling of Dennis may only be a random choice just from seeing his name once. Both his printing and paragraph content change completely from page to page. In the back of my mind, I contemplate how he must write out something then scan it and then upload it so that it appears in the notebook. It does not dawn on me what a ridiculous concept this is or cause me to reflect on the many other dreams where this sort of false technology has appeared. On one page the writing is very large but vertically stretched and slanting backwards which makes it impossible to read. (This is actually based on the trick where you hold a page horizontally up to your eye and then are able to see what is written when it is elongated over the entire page.)

I eventually come across pages that look as if they were written out on an old typewriter. I tell Zsuzsanna how he probably should have done that in the first place, but after that, there are more pages of scribbled handwriting. Finally, I reach a page where it supposedly shows his photograph at the top (somewhat like a Facebook banner). When I look at it, it first seems to be the actor Mitch Pileggi, who played Skinner on “The X-Files”, yet I tell Zsuzsanna that “I know him” and that it is my foreman from one of the factories I had worked at in La Crosse.

As is typical of the continuous inconsistency of dreams, he is now depicted as a blind Albino African who apparently had been homeless for a long time, though another homeless black male is in the foreground on the right (a direct giveaway to who this “dream journal” actually belongs to) and a Norwegian backpacker on the far left. I cannot be sure which one is the writer. I notice that the back of the notebook is torn and the last few pages are solely thick scribbles in felt pen. For some reason the faux logic of my dream changes completely and I come to the conclusion that he must have somehow placed the notebook in our house when we were not aware of it. “He must have done it around twelve o'clock,” says Zsuzsanna. It concerns me that someone had been in our house while we were sleeping and we had somehow not awakened at the time. (This is an obvious dream sign - talking about sleeping while in the dream state, especially in reference to what seems like someone leaving their dream journal in our house - but I do not catch on at all.)

And now the waking transition begins. It seems to be late at night. I go onto the porch and see a strange man on our sidewalk (of about fifty or more) looking cautiously at our porch. Though it still looks like the Barolin Street house in some ways, there is no fence. There are several young girls running around on our front lawn, all wearing pajamas. Off to the left, there is a square shallow foxhole (about six feet by six feet) with pillows along all sides. One girl jumps in and rolls to the center. Other girls stand about gossiping. This does not bother me as I consider that it may be some sort of school-related ceremony. The man comes up to our door. I push my steel barbell through the mail slot in case he tries anything threatening (blatant symbolism here), though he seems somewhat nervous. He speaks a bit incoherently and seems to be warning me of a couple other males in the neighborhood.

Strangely, our porch rotates to where it is now perpendicular in orientation to how it had felt before, seemingly facing north instead of east. Still, I do not pay notice to this change at all in my dream. A different man approaches our door. He is only about half the age of the other man. Again, I hold out the barbell in case he chooses to impose further. He brings attention to the strange insect nests on our porch. I lie and tell him that we are moving anyway so as to cause him to not impose further with his insincere concern. I look up and see a lot of strange features near the porch light including what looks like a sleeping bat, though it is actually some sort of strange black cobweb hanging down. One of the features looks like a large white fuzzy ball hanging from the ceiling, bigger than a baseball. “You have a Kapoosh up there,” he points out, stating that it is a type of very dangerous venomous ant nest (though a Kapoosh is actually for holding knives and is usually a cube, not a sphere). The concept of a singular ant living high up triggers vague but inconsequential doubt.

“Good, I wish there was a lot more, to keep people like you away from our porch,” I say sarcastically. (It actually represents my attempt to keep dreaming even though I am not lucid, as it represents the downsizing of the moon near the ceiling. This is why I am adamant against this “intruder” who is actually my emergent conscious mind sent to the porch-liminal point to wake me.)

Soon, a (fictional; nonexistent in real layout) door opens on the opposite side of the porch which apparently also leads to outside (and it does not occur to me that this is impossible, as it would actually have to lead into our bedroom if there was really a door there). An unknown male comes in and grabs me. The other male also enters the porch from the front. Even though the waking mechanism has already been triggered, I still decide to knock them back with the barbell but the first male grabs it and prevents its movement. Finally, I have had enough of this dream and become lucid in the last second. Even though it is futile and the waking mechanism is already nearing its end, I mentally change my right hand into a gun and shoot both of them and they go flying backwards in opposite directions.

---

Many people who have legitimately and honestly worked with real dreams probably know that the porch of a house is a waking transition setting. This of course is because it is directly between one’s living quarters and the outside world in real life, to metaphorically render the state between deeper dreaming and the path to waking. Even more obvious, I should have also realized this from the dream signs (girls in pajamas and the foxhole with pillows around it as a play on “the outside world is also sleeping and dreaming now”) and thus would either let the less aggressive male instigate the waking mechanism or decide to become lucid and perhaps greatly lengthen my dream and awareness level. As it is, violence was needed to wake me (with the old “being killed” metaphor to “destroy” the dream self as it probably had originally been at the beginning of mankind).

---

The notebook with all the different writing reminds me a lot of a teacher’s writing rubric standards guide with open response question examples related to a reading assessment, which shows how various students answered a particular query in their own writing, which displays vastly different levels of intelligence even in high school students, almost to a surreal degree.

---

First dream

It was dark, cold evening. I was inside a ruined bunker, thinking about finally going outside and facing a wasteland that the world has become. The bunker was mostly empty, everyone left before, only I stayed inside. I finally left it and saw a barren wasteland, devoid of any life. After a while of wandering I went back to bunker, thinking about a way to immortalize the bunker and everyone that sheltered here before. I have it a name "Tecturne" and tried to write it on paper. My younger sister was there too, she gave me some paper. I couldn't write it perfectly as I wanted.

Second dream

I was in a forest, it was a warm afternoon. With group of classmates we had to make some measurements of wood volume. Instead they were mobbing one of the girls, going as far as stripping her from clothes and trying to rape her. I tried to stop them.

Cousin
I'm in the living room at my mom's house (I think). I'm there with my cousin, his girlfriend and their newborn son. It's the first time seeing their son, so I take a good look. Hmm, I remember him looking differently on the photo. On the photo he really looked like my cousin. Now, not so much. For some reason I look at the window, looking at some green truck that's parked outside. I'm not sure anymore what happens after, or what the significance of the truck was.

Company visit
I've just exercised (physical therapy perhaps) and now I need to get somewhere. I'm running late though, so I don't have the time to shower first. I make it to the bus just in time. I had to cross the street quickly in between cars. I remember seeing the number of the bus, though I can't recall it anymore. I get in at the back. It's really crowded and I consider whether or not I should check in. I might get a fine if I don't do so, but on the other hand, it's so busy that they will never notice. I tell myself that I worry too much and don't check in. I already had my black backpack out in front of me, drawing out my wallet. I put it back in.

I'm inside a building. We're going somewhere with the class. Guess I will have to try to shower here. It's a company visit and quite a prestigious company at that. I run into some classmates on the way up the stairs. There is one classmate going down as well. It's Aun. Later, when I'm up the stairs, I see Aun along with the people she regularly hangs out with. I ask her surprised if I didn't just see her walking down the stairs. She tells me it was X [forgot who]. I remember the hijabs of both persons being different colours, so I'm satisfied with the answer.

We're in a big room and a presentation is starting. A lot of people are still being noisy. The lecturer in front of the class is one that most people dislike because she can't teach very well. She's trying to settle things down and someone hurls a nasty comment at her. Man.. we are so not making a good impression at this company. Eventually people settle down, except for to the far left in the back. Nick and Kristen are arguing with each other for what feels like 5 minutes. They either don't care or don't notice that everyone is waiting for them. Embarrassing.

Finished my first week at work, ended up sleeping heavily this morning.

Dream fragments
-Something about a cellphone
-A party, my friend Sam is there and I greet him

I figured writing something up is better than nothing, even though it's some pretty terribad recall O_O.