non-lucid

Original journal entry dated July 8th, 2002:

I was in a hot-air balloon with some other person, and we were running away from zombies. Or something. It had something to do with my old middleschool, the scary one, and a locker combination. I forgot my locker combination, and then I lost my homework and got in trouble, and then I somehow wound up in the hot air balloon. In any case I was convinced we were going to die because had already died before as a result of losing control of the balloon, and neither of us knew how to steer it and we steered it WAY too high, and it was really windy and the basket almost flipped upside down, so I almost fell out. But we did manage to land it, eventually, and were attacked by hordes of undead zombies. And then I woke up.

First i dreamt that someone was drowning and my cousin saved her. Then i remember something that had to do with birds who could act. After that i was a singer and was preforming in front of many people

Original journal entry dated July 7th, 2002:

A lot of people, including me, were going to this one medieval fair thing, and we all had to dress up and stuff. It was really more like a medieval fantasy deal so I was dressed up as a wizard, or something. Anyway, there was the outer fair, which was free, and then the inner fair with all of the special events was behind a wall, and you had to pay a lot of money to get in. I had a sort of miniquest thing where I had to collect various issues of Dragonball, except that I kept getting the same issue over and over again, and it was very frustrating. There was this mad scientist type guy who lived in a tower and he had an issue I really needed, but in return for giving me the issue I had to live there forever. So I figured I'd take the issue, and then run away. Then S__ and everybody else wanted to go to the inner fair and left me behind because I didn't want to pay that much money. A group of people and I tried to sneak in by crawling along the rooftops to get over the wall, but for some reason the old principal from Highschool was chasing us, and we had to get down and hide. So finally, I gave in and bought a ticket, although the real reason for it was sort of different, because in my dream I had this boyfriend (and hell if I remember what he looked like, it was just one of those things that you know when you're in a dream) and I knew this one other girl was after him, and it sort of pissed me off. I got into the fair and she was hanging all over him, and I got mad at another friend of mine for not doing anything about it since he was supposed to be my friend and look out for me. Then the dream sort of shifted and I had to enroll in a school there, and in order to do that I had to get the old crazy scientist guy's signature. So I got it and went to the highschool and tried to enroll but it turned out that I had to go and get the principal's signature too and fill out a form to enroll, and he had the forms, and his office was in the fair, and it was too late to go there because it was closed. But I was allowed to go to all of the classrooms and decide which classes I wanted to take. I went to the language class because a language class was required, except they didn't have spanish, they only had japanese, and I didn't know anything and didn't have a text book. And then I did something wrong I think, and the teacher made me stay after class and said I couldn't leave the classroom until she told me to. For some reason it was then that I realized that I was not wearing any pants at all, but merely had my Star Wars comforter wrapped around the lower portion of my body, and I thought about how silly I must have looked and how drafty it was. In any case, the teacher had to leave to do something, and I got bored and left the classroom anyway because I wasn't supposed to, and some kids started bullying me and took my backpack, so I got mad and beat them up. Then one of the other teachers came along and I got in a lot of trouble, but everything was cleared up and they let me go. I was waiting for my ride, but didn't see the car anywhere, and then wondered if my ride really WAS there but I didn't recognize the car...

...then, for some reason, I was at my grandmother's house. Except it was more like a church, and had pews, but they were all lined up in front of a fireplace. We were supposed to be singing hymns and she got mad at me because I kept interrupting. Then she made everybody move and rearrange themselves on the pews, and I got in trouble for goofing off because I was playing with a raisin.

So I don't remember much since I didn't get much sleep (again!) but uh

I was with Herman from Pacific Rim and maybe one or two other people, but Herman was being kind of a jerk. We were on our way to a con and he had a magic ring like in Lord of the Rings, except that it looked like the silver ring from http://destiel-sterek-klaroline-hips...-misha-collins this post.

Wow is that really all I can remember?
Wow that's sad.

(Had a brief nap this afternoon to make up for lost sleep and had this dream. It was remarkably well-formed compared to my usual napping dreams.)

The dream begins with a short fragment involving a room similar to my current university accommodation, which is connected to some form of multi-level arena in a black environment. It is possible the whole thing is a video game of some sort. This quickly ends and shifts to the dream proper.

I am visiting some form of day-care/community centre that I have apparently been attending regularly ever since I was a young child as part of my extra-curricular activities. Unlike all of the previous times I have visited, I am promptly called aside and informed that there was a hidden agenda to the centre the whole time.

It turns out that all of the activities in the centre have in fact been a form of training, and the centre is a facility at which they train secret agents and arm them with technology that can produce almost paranormal effects and abilities. As we tour the underground areas of the facility I am told that all of the uninformed subjects are periodically given tests in which they are exposed to shocking or otherwise psychological scenarios to measure their reaction, after which they are given an amnesiac which wipes their memory of the incident. Taking all of this remarkably calmly, I state the logical conclusion that I have also undergone these tests and don't remember them. I am then shown a tape of who I assume to be a very young version of myself being shown a video of some sort (though I wasn't able to identify the content of the video). In the tape I appeared disturbed by what I was watching, but was able to make it through the whole thing. I inquire as to why the amnesiac is used, to which the researcher explains that the psychological evaluation is based on the assumption that the subject is experiencing the scenario for the first time, not knowing the content nor the existence of the test itself in advance, to allow for comparing changes as the subject ages. I then proceed to perform what I assume to be some form of agility test in which I carry a tray of items down the hallway we just walked through without dropping them.

The dream shifts and I am sitting with several people who I assume are other subjects who have been informed of the situation next to a large blast door similar to the ones in the corridor I was walking through in the last scene (it may be the same location, but I am not certain). The other subjects are laughing at a form they discovered - it appears to be some form of alias sheet in which an agent can design a new identity for upcoming missions, but it has been filled out with a rather childish description of some kind of monkey-themed superhero, possibly by one of the younger subjects. I point out to the other subjects that despite the author not being present he may be in another 'instance' of the same room (for this scene it is as if we are in an online game in which only some of the users are present in any particular instance - I think I also catch a glimpse of a list of online users partway through), and briefly contemplate to myself whether or not the author in the other instance would be able to observe the sheet of paper floating around as the other subjects hold it.

The dream shifts again and I encounter another subject who has been turned into a child as a prank by way of a body-altering edible substance the facility has developed. They are visibly put off by this, but to my knowledge the effect can be reversed. After a short scene shift I enter a gym in which another subject promptly explains to me that the child had been an arrogant jock and he wanted to get back at him somehow. He also explains that he used the substance on himself to give himself a more athletic body as some form of poetic justice. He makes a comment to me as he leaves (which I am no longer able to remember) and I respond in the affirmative, before promptly eating some of the substance myself that I had been carrying around (it taking the form of a pinch of sugar-tasting grains that I had been carrying on a spoon) for an unclear reason - it is possible I had been intending to use it on him but changed my mind, or that I ate it to hide it, but neither is certain. I change, but I wake up before I am able to accurately observe what I look like.

Partway through the dream I had a dream fragment in which I was walking through an airport or train station of some kind while on a family trip, though I am unable to place it chronologically within the dream.

11/18/13 LD #72 Late morning quick wbtb led to an awareness dild where I floated around the room and structure(drew it un-artistically), found Girl Friday and had a great time between the sheets. Dream sign mantra seems to be yielding some results but this one had more to do with awareness that the location was not in the same condition as it is in waking life...basically it was in the middle of remodeling.

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11/19/13 What is really strange is that one of my dream signs that only comes around maybe once a month but is usually a lucidity inducer (my deceased father in law) has shown up the last 2 nights and went right over my head (I assume my mantra incubated him into my dreams)...yet last night it may have kept me going in a more meaningful dream that was really quite special to me personally...it was my wife as a 2 year old coming up to me and she was just so darn cute...I didn't know her that young but I assume the DC was created from pictures I have seen of her around that age...(I am not posting my other dreams, getting lazy to and besides I have them in my personal journal) The dream:
Special one, false awakening into a fluffy bed with lots of comforters I can hear the train outside and I think that is strange this is not a place where I normally hear a train, it feels like its a house near (next town south) but perhaps it is the house on M. I get up and go to the living room and sit on the couch...later father-in-law gets up from bed I assume and comes and sits next to me as well as someone else gets up at the same time (feels like it is the strange version of my mother in law from the previous night's dream). He's telling me that he was seeing (this mother-in-law DC) or whoever doing something like a yoga pose where she's starts off on her back and legs up in the air and he's kind of wondering why does she do that, it seems like it has something to do with being able to lucid dream. A little kid walks by in the hall on the far side of the room, maybe about 2 years old and I hold my hands out and say come here about 3 times quickly and the kid comes towards me and surprisingly it looks like a young little (my wife's name)!! She is just so adorable. She has short hair and it just looks like her, like her pictures or like a really good representation of what my mind would think she would look when she was that age. She comes towards me but my father-in-law(her father) picks her up and it looks like she's fussing a little bit like she wants to come over to me and I say no its okay stay with (father-in-law) about 3 times as I rub her shoulder and arm in assurance. It feels like this was about to make me lucid as I woke up. As I'm laying in bed awake I think about how neat it is almost like traveling back in time to see her when she was young when she looked so darling. I also wondered if perhaps it was supposed to be our baby since I've been dreaming a lot about babies lately (no baby expected that I know of!).

actually i was at susie's place. there was a football game going on outside the garage. thiss slutty black girl in the garage kept trying to bang me and anyone else who walked into the garage.

there was this little dancer girl who told me she was in a low key ballet performance with merly streep. then i asked her if she kne did mother courage and she said she had seen it and was inspired.

some how i flew of the balcony as part of the act to entertain the party and i started breaking stuff all overe. i really upset this slittle kid and carlos had to initiatiate the apolagy in which i later finished by giving the little guy the hug. brittany was right there to..

Dream recall from today's WBTB/naps.

Dream 1(fragments):

I am doing some stuff at home and then go through corridor into my room. Upon entering i feel that i am dreaming, but it fades.
Some person 'wakes me up' and i still feel the dream, i notice that bed is huge, taking like half of the room. I get up and look around, i briefly notice some anime person but he disappears very quickly. Then i look into mirror and i look completely different and apparently blonde. I try phase/teleport through wall but i get stuck midway and world starts glitching out like when using noclip in video game, shortly dream fades.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was playing dodonpachi daifukkatsu and it was way too easy.

Dream 3(fragments):

There was something about flying island on which there were dragons of light-blue scale color.

Dream 4(fragments):

Some story about cartoonish gods of greek mythology searching for a traitor through some places, including temple with marble pillars.

Dream 5(fragments):

I was at home, listening to some music. Then someone distracted me with talk and after i looked at monitor and there were danmaku patterns firing out of it.

Dream 1(fragment):

I was playing some shooter game.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was on dreamviews and somebody was creating usernames very similar to other people's names.

Dream 3(fragments):

I was playing some rts and was rushing down enemy base and then had to retreat and defend my own.

Dream 4(fragments):

There was some racing game and i was racing a few opponents through maze made of minecraft fences, one of opponents was riding a goat but i was quicker than everyone else by simply running. Then there was also some egyptian based track next.

Dream 5(fragments):

There was some story about some dude which was taking some people to an abandoned house and torturing them in various ways and he was making other people eat body parts of those people.

Long, vivid lucid dream!!!

I was at our living room table with my mum and my grandma. My grandma was talking about this diet and my mum kept asking for more. In real life, my mum wants to lose some weight. She was being really annoying and then she decided to make one of the dishes my grandma was talking about.

My mum made a huge mess and for some reason that pissed me off. I told her she was stupid, and then she went upstairs. Last night, I had snacks in my bedroom, so I got scared she'd find them, so I ran upstairs to see where she had gone.

My bedroom door was shut. I tried opening it and someone was on the other side, trying to keep me outside. I pushed it really hard and it opened. I got in and my mum and the maid were inside. I looked around and everything was different. The furniture looked old and cheap and it was all ugly. I looked at my mum and I was like: "Are you kidding me?", but she didn't look too bothered.

I looked around again, still very pissed off. Then, it clicked. "Ohhh, I get it! This is a dream, right?" I looked at my hand. My fingers seemed normal, but I could tell there was something weird going on, and it was obviously a dream. My mum said "I don't know what you're talking about", but I left my room anyway.

I thought about what I should do. I tried summoning the character from my story again. I shouted his name a few times. Instead of working, I kinda fell face first on the floor. I was sure that'd wake me up, but it didn't.

I got up and didn't know what to do. I remembered the TOTM and decided to ask my mum what she was greatful for. I went to my room and... nobody was there. I shouted "mum!" a few times and then I heard her voice downstairs.

I went back to the living room and she was there, with some other people. I went to her and asked her what she was grateful for. She said that she was grateful that I had lost some weight. I told her that hadn't happened yet. So she said she was grateful that I was happy. I accepted that answer and I asked my aunt what she was grateful for, but I don't remember her answer.

Then, I looked around and the walls were all colourful. I started telling all the people there how amazing it was, cause everything felt so real. I touched the table and the walls and I was all "I can REALLY feel everything! And look at those colours! Everything is so vivid!" but nobody paid much attention to me.

Again, I was sure I'd wake up, but nothing happened. I still had no idea what to do, and then I remembered the bonus task. And that's when things got messed up... I was supposed to turn into a turkey, along with everybody else, and carve a human. Instead, I gave everybody pig ears and pig noses. I also had them, and, on the table, we had a pig on something like this:



And it had a human face. Then, I woke up.

Original entry dated June 9th, 2002:

We were in a city. The architecture reminded me of something designed by Tim Burton, or maybe Jhonan Vasquez. Very tall, black, and spiky. The atmosphere was blackish red.
In the city there were human survivors, but it was being overrun by these tall icky greyish aliens. Think maybe a cross between one of those things from "ALIENS" and a vampire-fish, and you're starting to get the right idea. Anyway, we (the humans) had this thing we could do, by concentrating really hard as a group we could create a field all around us so that they could not see us, as long as we remained completely quiet. This was REALLY important. So we were holed up in our little cave, concentrating really hard on being invisible, when our scout came back, and the dumbass was being really loud, so of course the aliens found us. I don't remember much after that, and then I think it changed into another dream, but before it did there was a lot of blood.
I had another dream I think along similar lines, but there were big-wheels involved, like the kind I used to ride when I was a little kid. It was weird. I've had other nightmares but don't remember those.

It starts off me and my mom going to the gym and her canceling my membership at the gym. So i leave pissed off. Then suddenly my surroundings change and i'm engaged to this guy. He tells me "i have made many mistakes in my life but i love you". Then i count down from 10 kiss him and say Happy New Year. I walk over to my parents then i wake up.

all i remember is that i was in a class, my teacher told me to go shower, (i dunno) so i did. But when i came back everyone was crowded around a desk and i just started yelling and then got into a fight or something. The next thing i remembered was yelling at someone for reading. I must have been pissed going to sleep or something.

11.18.2013

The Demon Within (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am with my mom. I'm trying to eat a sandwich, but something really confusing and disconcerting is happening that is making concentration difficult (can't exactly remember very well). My focus on attempting to eat is broken when my mom tells me that I'm not "me" anymore. She says "The Beast has taken over you. You're not who you used to be."

I look in the mirror and see that I'm no longer having problems eating my sandwich. Quite the opposite. I am now savagely stuffing it in my mouth, eating as though I've been starving for years. Upon realizing this, I stop and stare at my reflection in horror.

My mom's words suddenly make sense to me. I'm not who I always believed myself to be. I suddenly remember that I'm a demon who possessed the body of this girl when she was much younger, and our memories integrated. Our identities are practically inseparable now, a perverted integration of myself as a demon and her as a human.

I was riding a motorcycle on a highway, and was terrified of falling. I didn't really have control over the bike, clearly still traumatized by my real-life motorcycle accident two years ago.

I came by someone who looked familiar, and it turned out to be my grandmother. I was like "but you're dead!", because, you know, she's dead in real life. I hugged her, and was surprised she didn't seem to find it weird that she was alive. I figured she wasn't going to explain without me asking.