non-lucid

Morning of September 23, 2016. Friday.



I am in the Loomis Street house in the living room. It seems to be late morning (as the room has a natural light source coming in through the east and south windows). Zsuzsanna and our youngest son are also in the room. There is a bed that extends out from the south wall of the living room (where there never was such a feature in real life). Oddly however, it is meant to be the holographic projection of a television show.

I approach the bed from the left (west) side. In it, on her back, head oriented south, is an unfamiliar female with a matte gold face. I get the impression that it is a hospital bed, though I am uncertain of the situation or the status of the female’s health. I am unsure of what genre this “movie” is.

I absentmindedly find myself reaching out to touch the left side of her face even though I firstly see it as an intangible hologram. It is as if I am testing an expectation to “make something real” or to “bring something out of a projected image or picture” (which has occurred in numerous dreams since early childhood).

Some of her “skin” moves out from her face to wrap around my hand with a feeling much like bread dough that moves under its own will. This “dough” moves around through my fingers with no sense of wetness or stickiness; just a smooth, soft feeling as it slides comfortably over my skin. I find it fascinating and talk about this with Zsuzsanna and Oliver. Oliver finds it somewhat amusing. Upon looking at her face, I notice that it unrealistically sags so that her mouth is much lower than it should be. Her eyelids also appear to have expanded to flow down over the rest of her face so that there are no discernible eyes. Perhaps this is a science-fiction “movie” we are watching on “television”. I touch the left side of her face again (the previous “skin” seeming to have become a part of my own hand) and a larger piece of “dough” wraps around my hand, almost snakelike (though not disturbing or annoying in any way, just a bit curious). It again smoothly crawls between my fingers, around my wrist, and about my forearm. I place it in a heap on the floor next to a plastic container.

I explain how I am able to take things out of pictures, even though I have no lucidity. I say how I can take money out of a picture or television broadcast, though this comes with a recurring dream backstory related to how I do not want to create duplicates of bills (which are numerically unique), though coin duplication does not have this concern. I have a small plastic container with compartments. I find myself sitting on the floor with Zsuzsanna and Oliver, moving two-dollar Australian coins from one compartment to another, some compartments seeming to be “in another world” and resulting in my moving them into “this world” even though there is no indication of either a picture or an implied “portal” or which compartments are implied to be in which “world”. It simply appears as a plastic box with coins in different compartments. There are also very small Lego pieces mixed in with the gold coins, including miniature swords.

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This last part was visually precognitive. Oliver was actually working with Lego pieces (including small swords) in a plastic container with compartments soon after without any way of me knowing that this is what he would be doing at this time.

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The bed is a dream state indicator (the most obvious one possible) and my waking transition is sustained.

Other than the typical short-term prescience, there seems to be a link to Zsuzsanna related to sharing sentience within the dream state (as otherwise unknown females in some dreams have an autosymbolic connection to Zsuzsanna, especially in regarding the bed DSI as here). It also seems influenced by a movie we had seen prior to sleep, where a female expected to die becomes conscious (without a medical explanation) and seemingly healthy after a group of people pray for her (“The Genesis Code” from 2010).

Variations of yellow and gold typically symbolize sentience, intellect, and instinct as analogous to sunrise and dawning conscious awareness.

Coins in a dream as a collective rendering relate to three main concepts; coalescence (dream self flowing back into whole self), a play on “cents” (sense), and a play on “change” (which may be a play on the waking precursor in “changing” from the skewed dream self viewpoint and identity to the whole conscious self viewpoint and identity).

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Elder Games: At my aunt's house cleaning. I assumed the kids would help but they don't. I set up a complex gaming system and lay out a spread of food. A bunch of elderly people in wheel chairs show up for a gaming competition.

Darker: A friend and I wander from city park to city park trying to find the area with the darkest sky for stargazing. Each time we find what I believe is the darkest sky my friend says, "Nope. We need darker." We continue searching until we find the darkest sky. We then lay on the grass trying to make out the constellations.

6 hrs sleep

Last night bed 8:30pm - 3:25am

Dream earlier:

I'm an apprentice in a kitchen of some famous chef. He has a restaurant and I'm helping there and learning. I'm so new, he doesn't even let me peel potatoes. That is something you have to earn first, haha. One of his people introduces a potato peeler gadget. It's like a scrubbing brush. But the bristles are not all over the surface. Instead they are bunched up in some sort of "legs". You put a potato between them, keep turning it and they brush the skin off. I'm watching it in detail how it scrubs the skin, the green parts to a clean tater.

There was another one, but now it's too abstract. Lots of people.

And another cat!!

1) On a long drive. The car seems to keep pointing upwards as if it is flying. I kept telling myself that this isn't a dream and settle the car back down on the road.

2) In a cafe of some sort. I walk out, then back in and I look at a table of people pretending to be looking for someone. I'm riding a motorbike and park it in a car park. It's time to leave and I try to find my way out of the car park, it's not easy. Back out on the road I realise that I'm not wearing a crash helmet and probably have travelled miles without it. I pull in at the side of the road to look for the crash helmet in my paniers - as I pull over I see my front tyre is getting a bit bald.
There's an old black cat on the side of the road in front of me, and then there is also a man stood there - he is really friendly and offers me some sweets which I decline, and he tells me that the cat's paw is getting better now and asks me if I want to take a look. I bend down, the cat is now in a box, and I realise that I do actually have a crash helmet on.

I was leading group of friends and family to some dark castle. We moved to an entry chamber, it was really dark but I knew that there would be some traps in there. I sharpened my senses - everything turned grayish and some bats were highlighted red. We moved onward and they only flied away. Going through some square we got to a fortified village and got attacked by squads of mercenaries. They shot whole group down, only I was left. I grabbed some guns and started shooting, quickly eliminating threat.

Recalled a precognitive dream: I was in school, writing something in an electronic device - foresters' index.

Yesterday: Non-Lucid- This dream was so vivid w/ color & hard to explain. My explanation of details will never do this dream justice. I was in some bazaar man made looking cave w/ tunnels. Some sort of cave system of sorts. The walls, floor & ceiling were *Luminescent (i had to look this up because I new it wasn't fluorescent & I wanted to be accurate) in color. There were lots of people but it wasn't crowded, I kept coming upon groups, couples & single people as I explored this place. We were all having some super natural experience. Someone would throw this strange looking sphere & it would move in all kinds of directions on it's own. Sometimes it would just move real slow, fast or zip around just to mention a few. At intervals there were other ppl throwing one of these balls & it would always do something different. Something went wrong w/ and the person near me said I would have to throw the ball because they were needed elsewhere. Then a guy asked me if I knew where to log in & I said no & that I didn't work there. I was trying to tell him I had never done this before. Then he told me to change to the Fire Safety Code so, I punched in a 3 digit code. The guy I was subbing for came back & was flipping out acting all strange. He looked like Paulie from this season's Big Brother & was an asshole. But he was gay unlike Paulie & was professing his love for another man there & exposing some secret affair. The other guy had a wife, lol. The married couple were both freaked out. The guy professing his love made these digital hearts & arrows in the air. It was actually pretty cool. There were a lot of them.... Now enters some military ppl. Some in an official & unofficial capacity. If I had to explain what this cave looked like I would liken it to Blue Ice but was alive & had some other colors in it.

*Luminescence is emission of light by a substance not resulting from heat; it is thus a form of cold-body radiation. It can be caused by chemical reactions, electrical energy, subatomic motions, or stress on a crystal.

Because of today's entry I want to keep it separate so I will be following this with a separate journal entry.

Morphing Store: Me and some friends find an abandoned plaza with a broken window. W climb in and investigate. It looks like a party place, junkfood wrappers, liquor bottles, clothes, blankets, graffiti. This saddens me. I climb out and mean to board up the window but when I look back inside the place has morphed into a clean, freshly abandoned shop. We try to leave but a pack of angry dogs won't let us. I talk to the dogs to keep their attention while the others try sneak off.

Beggars: I am starving and filthy. I try sneak into a hotel to scrub up in the bathroom. I am caught and tossed. The guy who tossed me comes back and gives me a half pack of hotdogs. How nice. I hate hotdogs. I accept them. Beggars can't be choosers, right? Friends suddenly appear. We split the hotdogs between us. As eat the last one I look into the pack and see various sizes of maggots squirming around. I want to puke but I don't. I hold the food down by telling myself "at least the maggots weren't crawling through shit and trash". Horrible how a seemingly kind deed can turn out so hateful.

Air Attack: I lounge in the sun and three drones fly over. I give them the finger. Shortly after fighter planes, bombers, helicopters, and tanks roll in. I run. People follow. We hide behind a stump, as if that will conceal us from wildly attacking forces. I can't stand the sound of the bombs. I cover my ears and am filled with hatred but can do nothing. A soldier finds us, lays by the stump and tells us he will let the others escape as long as one of us surrenders. Of course I'm the one who surrenders. The others dash into the forest without so much as a thank you. Oh well. Moments later planes fly over and incinerate the woods. I am dragged along into the heart of the battle.

River Hill: A hillside river appears in many of my dreams. I never remember much about these dreams. Last night: I forge a new path to the river which lay frozen over in the middle of summer. I think I had to save what little water was left before it froze over completely. Others were involved. I remember horses. Nothing more.

My dream was long and varied, but the one thing I'd love to talk about was a videogame that I created last night. The game was an RTS that was based entirely around drawing lines into the ground. The game starts just like any RTS with a home area with some resources, and the first thing you do is trance a line around an area of resources that will immediately sprout castle walls once you complete the line to itself. An auto algorithm puts the front door, parapets and windows in, and makes a cool castle based on your shape. Then the building spawns workers that work the resource inside. If you trace lines around the castle, it makes walls. Soon after doing this there are enough resources to start buying units. They will emerge from the first castle (you can keep making them) and there are many classes of them. You control them by right clicking instead of left clicking, which draws lines of command instead of building. The lines control their paths and behavior and are very subtle yet complex.

Then you fight the other guy.

Morning of September 22, 2016. Thursday.



I am in Africa on a long expedition. My wife Zsuzsanna and our children and some unknown people are on the journey. Curiously, the “vehicle” we are using to travel in is only a tent that is somehow moving over the savanna without any apparent explanation (as it does not seem to have wheels; it somehow slides slowly over the ground). I have seven pet lions, at least three being male. They walk along with us on our journey without incident.

A male lion is inside the tent at one point but is not a threat. I am also in the tent for a time to “sleep” and also to look at a treasure map. As we travel over the savanna, I watch the scene from above for a time but I am eventually back in my physical form. We are seeking some sort of magical or at least special material, a roll or piece of cloth with special properties, the location of which is apparently indicated on the map.

We reach an isolated outdoor market where there are several African cashiers, at least three of them females around forty years of age. They seem to be selling the special cloth we had been seeking. There are two counters set up on each side of an outside area I enter. I examine a cloth which I first feel may be what we are seeking. A cashier tells me that it is a thousand dollars for a yard of it. I am not so sure this situation will work out. I go to the opposite counter to look around a bit.

One male lion walks around near the counters, being as tame as a dog, and I pat its head. Other people do not seem to be at all concerned about my lions.

Eventually, I notice a piece of cloth that I expect is the one we need. It is uneven though and is not quite a yard. The cashier tells me this one is also a thousand dollars if I want it. I almost express my annoyance to her but I do not. I take out my wallet and pull out one fifty-dollar bill after another, materializing the money out of thin air just at the point my hand is in the wallet, deliberately doing this and realizing this, but without dream state lucidity. I assertively hand her the money which I just mentally willed out of my wallet, twenty fifty-dollar notes, which I know is exactly a thousand dollars. She happily gives me the material.

The cloth’s design shows a repeating pattern (in mostly bright orange, yellow, and sepia saturated hues) of a scene of two lions (male and female) lying in the savanna in front of a boulder and a tree and the sun on the horizon in the background at their left. I pick up the supposed special cloth from the counter and we are on our way. Of course, this represents Zsuzsanna and I sleeping together during the sunrise, the cloth being a literal association with bed sheets and pillow cases.

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Lion autosymbolism has already been explained in many of my past entries, but here is a brief rundown: Factor one is coalescence (potentially being “swallowed” back into whole consciousness) and factor two is the augmented domestic cat association as being a “witness” to the dream state and the nature of liminal space (that is, the autosymbolic waking process). This dream is based on a partial association with “The Sleeping Gypsy”, an 1897 oil painting by French Naïve artist Henri Rousseau. The association transforms into the ending autosymbolism of this dream of which also represents art and the nature of sleeping and dreaming, as dreams are autosymbolic of the nature of the dream state and waking process itself. The cashiers and the checkout scenario are autosymbolic of the dream state’s implied exit point.

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Baby Kennel: I go visit my niece in the hospital. Incubators with malformed and sick babies line the halls. The incubators are stacked three high. Some of the babies wake and stare at me. I should acknowledge them all but if I do I will never get to visit my niece. Perhaps on the way out I will talk with the babies. I get to my niece and my sister tells us the hospital has changed to a sick baby kennel.

Unplugged: Noise in my basement leads me down to it. The lights won’t come on. The whole basement is pitch black except for a single beam of light shining through the window onto a very old Kurt Cobain. He sits wearily in the old armchair. I ask why he is in my basement and he answers with songs from the unplugged album. I sit and sing with him.

Fat Gibson: At a gala and people gather around a celebrity. It's Mel Gibson. He is very fat, his belly literally looks as if a giant beach ball is stuffed inside it. The shirt has jumbled flags, stars, and stripes all over it. He acts like a pig.

Star Search: I spend too much time with my telescope trying to find an elusive comet in a night sky overly packed with stars.

Dreams for Sept 21st
7 hours sleep

Last night bed 9pm - 2:50 am

2x300 alpha GPC 2:57 am

Dream before 2:50am

There was something with an old arab. He was rich and people were kinda scared of him, he was like a "boss" of the neighborhood. We go there through lots of hallways with some bodyguards. The room we get to is huge, lots of sofas and pillows.

Leaving through stairs on a wall. It's a solid rock wall of a mountain, perfectly vertical. There are only somy protrusions like stair rungs. Somebody is leading me. I stop to take a picture with my camera phone. The person looks back so I show him the picture later that he is in it too, if it's ok with him.

DR2
Walking by some hills that people use for picknicks. We have a spot there too, thinking about exchanging it for another one.

DR2
Walking through a new neighborhood looking for a house we are suppose to move into. Somebody lived there before. Their neghbors are suppose to help us with taking our boy to school, since we are new. I'm trying to talk to this woman who is getting her son dressed. She is the one who is suppose to help. I keep saying Hi, but as if she didn't hear me. Somebody finally taps her on the shoulder and she lifts her head. Her face looks beat up, eyelid swollen, tears in her eyes.

Church Monster: A friend and I zip line over a very old street and to its end. The walk back is a very long one and I am missing a shoe. I walk carefully. We find an abandoned church and break into it. The zip liners who came behind us follow us into the church. Deep within we encounter an alien like creature that is white with compound eyes. It chases us out but I need to go back to try talk to the thing. The others won’t let me.

Grave Message: Continuation of above just not with the same dream characters? I'm barefoot in a weedy graveyard and looking for something. Two other people appear. They are barefoot as well. We find a tipped tomb stone nearly swallowed up by weeds. When it is cleaned off we stand around attempting to decipher the message. We take photos of it then leave. We walk extra carefully because the street is covered in broken glass.

Tenant: I rent out my extra bedroom to a twenty something year old guy. All is fine until night comes. The guy is afraid to sleep in a room by himself in the dark. He asks to sleep on the floor in my room. I shrug a "go ahead" and he camps out on my floor. I can't sleep. I suspect he might be up to no good.

Aprox 8 hours sleep. Way too much.

This dream started as a nightmare. A pretty terrifying one. There was a person in bed, in a dark bedroom. She (I think it was a girl) started "changing" into a horrific monster, like in "The Thing". I think it attacked me. Next thing I remember, we're in a supermarket, and the thing is attacking me. I gained courage somehow, and remember getting pretty savage. I think I poked its eyes out with my fingers, and shoved my hand in its maw (it had a humanoid head, but slimy grey skin and huge teeth). I didn't feel pain, despite obviously being bitten, and I didn't expect to feel it, either. A subconscious sliver of realization that this was a dream? I rammed the creature into a glass... what do you call it... the glass doors of a refrigerated cabinet where you have all the meat products and whatever are on display. Next thing I know, the "creature" is on the ground, defeated... and it turns out it's a girl on stilts, wearing a silly suit! She's crying, and people are rushing to help her. I think they blamed me, and said I hurt her.

I was in some kind of "survival game", played in an outdoor arena. There were ruins, bushes and some open spaces. It started with scavenging for weapons and gear, and then staying alive. I remember wearing body armor in one session, and a backpack in a later one (I suddenly felt my armor was now a backpack). I also had an intense standoff with a woman. She had a ponytail, and a pistol, and I had a pretty semi-automatic rifle. Not an AR-15, but longer and with a smaller magazine. We aimed at each other, kind of daring each other to shoot. She back away slowly, never letting me out of her sights. I wanted to kill her, by slowly pulling the trigger. I figured if I pulled it slowly enough, she wouldn't notice. The gun fired... but not really, because I had no ammo... luckily, she didn't notice it, and disappeared. I think I discarded the empty gun, and started scavenging some random parts to build a new gun.

Definite flu. The puking has begun. I was able to write down my dreams but now I only have time to write this short excerpt. I'll post it tomorrow. Non-lucids but really colorful & interesting. Stay tuned.

This batch of dreams was remembered sort of all at once this morning!
I was on a date with a random dream character, and we were spending time at a house I didn't really recognize. A lot of the time consisted of binge-watching episodes of Steven Universe (and wouldn't you know it, I watched that the night before). Eventually we grew tired of watching that and instead began to... kiss.



... After that we sort of explored the surrounding neighborhood, though it was hard to see, as it was surrounded by tons and tons of trees. We ended up stumbling upon an abandoned house somewhere. The interior looked kind of like the house I lived in for most of my life, but much larger. We proceeded to play some games and then, you guessed it, kissed some more. Not sure what can be taken from this dream, but it wasn't terrifying or weird like some others I've recalled, so that's nice.

The second dream:
I was in a computer room (it kind of looked like a computer lab that my high school would've had), and using the computers were a group of four YouTubers I watch called the Best Friends. They were playing games and recording commentary, and me, I was just sort of beside myself, trying not to annoy them but amazed that I got to meet them. Suddenly, something distracted my attention: a commotion out in the connecting hallway. I remember exiting the room to go see what it was, but the recall drops there.