non-lucid

Dream One (1hr into my sleep): I kept seeing a washing machine or some kindof appliance. There was a whole in the ceiling which looked like it had been just made with an ax. The bits of chip board were falling off. It was making a deep impression on my body and particularly my heart. I felt like there was someone communicating with me but I was not sure what to do. I thought this might help me do well in the competition but then I woke up and was confused about what messages I was getting. I had some food in IWL did a reality check and went back to sleep.

I woke up again at 4hrs into my sleep with my alarm got cosey and went back to sleep again.

Dream Two: (5hrs into my sleep): I was looking at a computer screen obviously at dreamviews but I almost seemed to be inside the computer. I was very excited about what I was doing but did not know how to do. The dream competition was complicated and I did not know how my mind was going to be able to enter as if it went its usual way I would not be able to participate. Then i got a tip through dreamviews which affect my whole mind. I was able to experience lucidity and it broke my serious mind which was blocking me entering the competition. This was very experiential. As soon as I went on with my usual schemas they would instantly be broken and it would be brought back. A bit like a massage on the mind. That is how I was experiencing it and it was keeping me present. It was very much about how the computer and dreamviews works with my mind to keep me present and prevent me from dreaming and instead being lucid. I was very happy about this and felt including and understood. So instead of just dreaming in a non lucid way I was present.

Dream Three: In the third dream (7hrs into my sleep) all the dreamviews people were there and we were all comparing our dreams. There was an atmosphere of togetherness. There was joy and lots of colour. We were all sharing our techniuques for dreaming which were slightly different but we were all learning from each other. People were very happy with what I had learnt in dream 1 and 2 but I was not sure 100% about exactly what was happening.

Woke up afte 7 and half hours sleep confused as to why the dreams lacked vividness but had lucidity. I guess I never realised I was dreaming.

Morning of April 10, 2016. Sunday.



In my dream, I am in an unfamiliar building which seems to be in Japan, or at least I am aware that the building is Japanese. (I have only been in Japan for a short time for one day in my life in reality in my move to Australia.)

After a time, a tooth on the upper right (which I do not even have in reality - which is ironic) feels slightly loose. I move it with my tongue. I end up pulling it out with my fingers even though it is not that loose.

After this, I am aware of my mouth bleeding from the area I pulled the tooth out. I go to the sink (which is illogically in the unfamiliar bedroom I am in, on the opposite side of the room from a large window) and keep spitting out thicker blood. After about five or six times, I start to wonder how much more blood I can lose (it seems like a lot) before I start to feel differently or even pass out. No one else seems to be around at that point. It slowly dawns on me that I am dreaming, which I find somewhat amusing in that my dream self fell for the losing teeth scenario yet again (though it was more common when I was younger).

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Other than when it is relevant to an actual real-life focus (such as recently having a tooth pulled or having an actual toothache), I sincerely believe that dreams of losing teeth have no “interpretation” at all as it seems a common waking transition component, which in actual cause, is simply the dissolution of the dream and the cessation of the dream self (since using one’s mouth is a main way of acknowledging one’s consciousness and wakefulness to others and the unconscious self cannot speak - so the dream renders a focus on the fictional dream body’s mouth as losing teeth - pretty simple), just as falling, rising into the air, or suddenly tripping, or even seeing something falling from the sky is (of which also typically have no “interpretation” and are simply a natural form of the waking transition). Still, I think this bleeding may relate to acknowledgement of the energies of my internal dawning consciousness and physical form in a similar way that tripping over in hypnopompia is acknowledging the dream setting does not physically exist during the waking transition. The color red also dominates a dream when I have been asleep a bit too long.

I will note however, that when I was younger, most such dreams proved to be precognitive of which teeth I would actually be losing in a specific order. The only way to explain this would have to relate to some sort of foreshadowing regarding body awareness that is presently not understood (which of course does not explain all the other types of more detailed literal and visual prescience). This one is the reverse though. That is, it is the literal memory of already having lost the tooth, though assigned to a common hypnopompic distortion.

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Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation

I am guiding an Ayahuasca ceremony. It is not at Strandgaarden, but a different abolished farm house.

We are in the ceremonial room and I am trying my best to relax, while still paying attention to the needs of the travellers. I am the last available guide and so I find myself a little nervous as this will be the first time I will deal with an intoxicated participant. Soon hereafter a parson raise her hand and I go to her.

Jocelyn Girala – I think – would like to go to the toilet. She is an experienced traveller and she seems like she can manage her movements, but I still make sure I have an arm close by to support her in case she should slip, though she seems interested in keeping her own balance. I feel slightly awkward, not entirely sure about how to compose myself bodily, but I center myself and relax my nerves.

I guide her and we are headed towards the toilets. The toilets we are headed towards are the outside ones next to the Sauna at Strandgaarden, however, Jocelyn insists that we carry on and head towards the next ones out. There normally aren't any further toilets further out, and I find myself surprised when I find out that there is.

There are two toilets, but with two separate entrances to each. I ask Jocelyn which one she would like to use and she considers the question a short while, and indicate she would like to go to the one furthest away.

“No problem” I say.
“But you have to go into this one” She responds, which makes me slightly suspicious and unsure of myself as I want to be available to help her. I enter the toilet however and notice the door is lockable with a padlock. And so I stop up and turn around. I see malice and mischief in the eyes of Jocelyn. I am not far enough in that she can actually lock the door, but I know for certain that this is what she intended and as I realise this she smiles wickedly.
“Who are you?” I ask, and we switch positions so she is now furthest into the entrance. We are now in a cosily orange lit stables, with open rafters in close to our heads supporting the roof structure. There are a lot of girders about, all brown. Jocelyn Is hanging from one of the support rafters with one hand, while she is trying to attack me with the other, which I prevent her from doing with my left hand.

I find myself singing – icaros – more chanting than singing, I feel myself interfering at the level of intellect to start out with, though I manage to let go of this. I also “purr” at her, to manifest whatever needs manifesting at this stage. I also find myself out of my depth slightly, but I do what comes naturally to me.

Jocely no longer looks like she does when we entered the toilets. She looks like a mulatto and she looks a hell of a lot younger – maybe 20-25 – and she stares at me, venom, hatred and anger burning in her eyes.
“I can't hold back” Jocelyn whimpers from behind this new entity. It is Jocely who is holding back with her left hand in the rafters – while I support her figure with my right hand and keeping the hand of the entity at bay with my left. I feel a tinge of nervousness, but also a sense of calm confidence as I tell her:
“Maybe you should just surrender and let go, we can explore this together” And after a brief moment of hesitation Jocelyn lets go and let the entity descend on me – full force, which necessitates that I protect myself with both hands. All the while I keep up my chanting, and I place my hand (not sure which one, as I am also using both of them to manage her flailing arms) on her chest and apply a slight pressure moving my hand upwards – which fuels her rage.
“Who are you?” I ask again and get a vague answer presented intuitively.

Rita – Lita… somewhere mid 19th century – a black woman, maybe a mulatto, who has anger problems.

There is a brief skip, maybe someone helps her back into the ceremonial room.

I find myself standing in the stables talking to an old lesbian friend from England.

She has been hurt by Jocelyn. We talk a bit and I hug her and we find acceptance in the fact that Jocelyn is a racist, but that she cannot really help it – it is karmic – which helps my friend find a sort of forgiveness for her. It is as if (R/L)ita has somehow carried it though this incarnation and forced it upon her. I remember saying something along the lines of.

“So there was racism in the past”
“Yes” my friend replies, sobbing slightly.
“So Joecelyn...”
“Is a racist” my friend completes.

Then Saman and the other guides call me back into the ceremonial room. (R/L)ita is causing havoc in there and a few of the other guides are holding her against a wall.

“We can't seem to control her” Saman is telling me. It is as if (R/L)ita is refusing to leave the body of Jocelyn now that she is there again. “I think only you can finish this” Saman continues. And so I walk over to Jocelyn and start preparring to continue the chanting and acupressure moves I have recently learned (will soon learn IRL).

I am finding myself unwilling to jump the gun on interpreting this baby here. It seems like there is a message coming through that sort of needs to dissipate through sub-conscious reflection and conscious conversation. I had forgotten about the dream until I was in the toilet during the morning routine, and having put on some Bob (which frequently makes me sing) and returning to jog down anther dream I remembered -”Singing” and the chesty feeling of chanting – “There was something about singing” and in that instant the memory of the dream came back to me

4.9.16

I am with my class on some vacation. We are in a one story glass building. I see in the distance that wind had picked up and I point it out. Within seconds it hits us very hard and brings sand clouds with it. I'm wondering how we will be able to find our way back to the hotel, even though I know it's nearby.

Later me and one of my friends are wandering through the town. It's night time and lots of pedestrians. Buildings are rather small, it's not like NY or LA. We are walking through some streets, trying to go someplace and trying to recognize streets and stores we have already walked through. We know the general direction but we don't know the exact route.

I walk into some building. Somehow I gather that it's a porn studio. They think I came there to act, but I'm just trying to get through the building.

They tell me to change into short shorts and lay down on an exam table. There are 4 women around me. All older and they seem educated and professional. One is closing the blinds while another one comes to me with a book of script and she is going through scenes with me. I am all just looking at her in amazement, baffled by what is goin on. One of them starts "prepping" me. Somehow I'm told that I will be with many others. I ask how many is "many". They say something like 20 and I'm like hell nah. They say well 5-6 is nothing, so 20 is a good number and not to worry.

There are cameraman, other actors, bunch of film staff all over the place.

I'm standing in a corner and some women walk in. They all start talking casually to each other and others in the room. One of them slowly walks up to me and I figure she is ther because of me. Then she starts fondling me while talking to me. I try hard not to laugh and I see she is barely containing a smile or laughter.

Another scene - I am in a corridor and Brad Pitt looking like in the movie Troy plus 2 other tall blond, long haired man are there, waiting for a scene with me and them to start. In a dream I knew all their names and they were demi-god looking hot like hell famous actors. Oh, they were shirtless and as I'm typing word "shirtless" I recalled that they pulled their equipment out for me to see and for them to get ready and one on the righ hand side was.... just wow. I couldn't believe the size and it was changing shape in front of my eyes.

Next - I walk into a large, almost ball room sized room and I'm looking around at what's going on in amazement. Someone talks to me and I look in that direction. It's a woman with a very old type video camera at her face, filming me. Telling me to turn my head a bit to the side and she is thrilled when I act like I just noticed her and I'm surprised and kinda scared. Even though I wasn't acting about that.

Now I'm in front of a camera man. He tells me to lift my shirt a bit. I do it and start posing. I'm so surprised because I don't pose and I don't know how to and I don't care to know how to. I know I'm bad at it but hey! if they like it, who am I to argue with?

Next there is a bunch of other female actors all gathered in one room, discussing something. I feel like impostor there but they seem to have accepted me.

Now I'm taken by car to some remote parking lot. I'm suppose to be with more guys but I'm not suppose to know details. I watch other cars arriving and drivers getting out. They are a far cry from Brad Pitt and if I had a choice, I would not do it with them.

I woke up at 3.40, remembering the strangest feeling...... A DV member, I think Spellbee, but I'm not 100 % sure of that, was telling me something about how to get lucid.

Woke up at 8.00, remember nothing (failed WBTB)

Highway
It's daytime and I'm with my girlfriend near a transportation terminal. I think it's the backside of Amsterdam Central Station, but it's different from reality. I'm walking on a small bridge. It's one of those rotating platforms they used to make a train change direction. It's been built a few metres off the shore, above the canal. It starts rotating about 90 degrees while I'm still walking on it. It causes me to tumble a bit. My girlfriend laughs at me.

We enter a bus. It's not a regular service bus, but more like the type you'd use for an organised group trip. We sit somewhere in the middle - back at first, but my girlfriend wants to sit more to the front, so we take the seats directly behind the busdriver. I wonder if we're gonna run into any trouble. Perhaps police stopping us because there are refugees with us. We've gotta take a pretty sharp uphill turn on the ramp towards the highway. The driver messes it up a few times. Man I'm not feeling too confident about this driver. He decides 'fuck it' and just goes straight ahead, dropping the bus at least 5 metres down to the highway underneath. The whole time I'm holding on to my seat and screaming like one would in a movie. I don't feel the impact, but I do think I felt the 'butterflies' in my stomach. I (and some others too I think) want to get out.

I'm cruising down the highway. A lot of people are doing so on their skateboard. I'm not sure what mode of transport I'm using. I'm careful with passing people, so I'm probably using something bigger and more stable than a skateboard. I'm wondering if I would be allowed to join with a longboard. I'm liking this part of the dream.

Room session
I'm chilling in what's supposed to be my room. I've got my 2 laptops (a Mac and another black laptop) on the ground. I'm using my skateboard and going off the tiny ramp I've got here. I haven't taken the effort to move my laptops out of the way. I just skate around them.

Mopeds
I'm with a few of my best friends, all guys. There's also a girl, who is the girlfriend of one of them. She looks way different than she does in reality. We're in Indonesia. We decide to ride out on our mopeds. We're going to a dentist's house. He's quite rich so he's got a home office. We chill there for a bit, get offered a drink. One of my friends decides to leave for a bit. Another one asks for a different drink.

Yes!!!! 1.30am and just had my first EVER proper lucid dream, it was amazing

Too excited to go back to bed, so this is a sort of WBTB.

Did a good WILD before sleep. Lots of movement but couldn't fall asleep.

1) I was behind a schoolboy waiting to use a cash machine. It was my turn I was messing about and the woman behind was being impatient. Then I was in a garden it was dark, I put my right foot into a ditch but it was a pond, I was wearing slippers they were then very wet. I went up a set of steps (more sort of floated) and was looking at a computer screen, the pointer had a really bright dot of light on it I looked away it was so bright and looked behind myself to see if it was a laser beam causing the bright light. Then I walked backwards I think I felt like I was flying so I immediately thought that I must be dreaming. I looked at my hands but they looked normal, I checked again, still normal, I thought what the hell I know I'm dreaming!! I flew into an open room and pushed a window open to go outside then thought why didn't I just fly through it? I was slightly worried remembering that sometimes people can't fly when they first get lucid and wondered if I might fall to the ground but felt confident. I felt like I was flying in a vertical position so went horizontal. I flew out of the window and out into a dark night. I could hear an old friend calling me in some woodland a way off so flew that way. I could feel cold air blowing past my face it was so realistic! I started to wonder how long it would last for and could feel myself breathign so I rubbed my hands together, then tried to spin. It was working but by now I was thinking that I was bound to wake up. I spun around again then I was stood by a BBQ in a garden. The lucidity was very poor and I knew I was starting to wake up and gave into it, in fact I was so amazed by this point that I wanted to wake up to write about it.

Added in morning:

2) In a vegetable garden of some sort. I was looking at a dense hedge of some sort of fruit plants. Some parts were covered in black plastic. I noticed that there was a blueberry bush growing at the back, as I pulled the black cover off some of it I could see the flowers opening as the sun hit it. I walked off down a path.

3) I took my car keys into a shop and hid them behind something on a shelf, can't remember why, I told the shop keeper what I was doing he seemed ok with it. Then I was on my motorbike, I was in Japan, the road was a about 20 lanes wide and I had to get into another lane, I think I was travelling into the city. I was with someone else on a motorbike, it was a woman. We got in the wrong lane. It all went slow for a moment she was explaining to me where each lane went to. Two of the lanes led to big metla structures I think they were cablecars, the one we went into I knew was arong. We got to the end of it and there was a boat. We stopped and looked the boat and there were lots of naked people stood on it. The woman drove away very fast and I said something like 'it might be fun!' then got on my bike and followed her.

9/4/16
Dream 1: I was playing in a football grand final. It was the last quarter and very close. I think they were ahead by a few points with only seconds left and the ball came into our forward line. Everyone flew for the mark but no one got it and the other team managed to snap it up off the ground and kick it out. the siren went and we had just lost. Everyone was shattered as we left the field, each feeling it was our own fault individually some way.

Dream 2: I was at some sort of festival thing with my brothers. They separated off from me so I wandered around looking for things to do. I walked for a bit and saw a bunch of waterslides (dream sign doh) but didn't feel like going on them so I went into a building nearby. In there I bumped into my former maths teacher so we started talking. She showed me a bit of paper with all of these peoples signatures and stuff on it and asked me to translate a thing in chinese. I said it was something about being silly at lunchtime, she seemed satisfied and then we parted ways.

Dream 3: I was in the kitchen trying to find something to eat when my dad walked in. He said that we didn't have any cans of tuna because the main supplier had been forced out of business. I asked him why and he said they had way too much dolphin in their food and had to shut down. We were both disappointed about this so I went and got some noodles instead to eat.

Dream 4: My brother told me about this card game competition against an ai which learned from its previous matches, so it would get progressively harder to beat. I decided to have a crack in it, and saw that one of the ai's was supposedly weak against 'unenchanted gravity eyes decks' or something like that. I looked that up on the internet and found a decklist which I created to take on the ai.

Meesha cat totally wouldn't let me remember dream number 1 by meowing the entire time while I was getting her food at 5am.

Dream #2 was Me & my husband Mike. We woke up & got dressed to go out for breakfast & to go to what seems like a mall/flea market. We went there first before we decided to eat & in hind site would never occur in this order. But never the less we are walking through this place & there all kinds of different things to buy for just about every need you may have, yet it also may have been used, which in some cases is also just fine. We initially were looking for children's toys for our grandchildren because it's always good to look for special buys on these items to save money. Grandchildren are expensive! We found ourselves looking over these back pack wagon things. They were like the rolling backpack concept except it was a fold up wagon with cute themes to them for girls & for boys.... After not purchasing anything, we wandered into some bizarre sweets buffet. There were rows & rows of decadent sweets galore. We went down the rows just grabbing random things but I don't remember how they tasted or if they had a taste. This was odd because we specifically were conspiratorially trying stuff so we wouldn't waste our money & by the end, we were full.... We somehow got home, but not our home in real life & we were in our bathroom, which was also not our real bathroom & suddenly the tub was filled w/ flies crawling out of the drain. We were talking about what to do about this when Meesha woke me up.

There's a party on a terrace in a bar on the beach that I go on vacation. I'm sitting at a table with several people and I know that at least two are vampires. One vampire is a woman and I can see something strange in his mouth and I fear that at any moment she starts to attack, but then I think that until the night comes no attack will occur. Beside me is the other vampire, he is a man and I also know that he is very powerful. At that point I decided I have to go from there to somewhere else and find some shelter when night comes.
Again I am overwhelmed, feel fear and then I wake up!

I was the leader of the army who rides horses. For some reason I was riding a saber tooth tiger. It was a huge fight and I won but it made the whole kingdom covered in rats. Then somehow we got rid of the rats and there were just a few flees.

Well, I hope that this is not going to happen too many times in the coming weeks (with regards to the competition). I remember two dreams that I'm not ready to share in public....

There was also something, I can't really call it a fragment, it's in between a feeling and a fragment, about me hardly using my native language (Dutch) anymore, but only French and English.

saturday 4.9.16

So I'm at work, again, lol, nothing new. But this time it's unpleasant with mean and spitefull people. I'm trying to get away but I can't. I have to stay and pretend all is good. Boss is some kind of a boss with unlimited authority and at the end he pulls down some guys pants and is about to do him, but then the guy turns around and does something else. There is about 4-5 people just standing around in tight circle watching all this as if it was normal everyday stuff.

Work dreams are a hassle and I really don't care for them, and when they come "enhanced" like this, I really don't care for them. But hey, it was interesting. Anyway, can I pls get some dreams with spaceships or freedom fight or Tahity instead? Thanks : D

Worst recall ever - lack of sleep and too much work, and personal problems.

All I remember is standing in a wooden shed looking at a plastic pot of weedkiller. I think my father might have been there and I was talking to him about it.

8/3/16:
Dream 1: I was involved in a Scrolls tournament, 3 v 3 in a round robin format I think. I told my brother about it afterwards and how much fun it was.

Dream 2: I was on a train and having a hard time standing up; every time the train stopped or started I almost went flying lol.

Dream 3: I was working in a kitchen, first day on the job. Someone had told me that the two bosses loved to drink on the job and would reward me if I helped them to do that, so I filled up two glasses with alcohol and gave it to them. They thanked me and told me to keep up the good work. I didn't have any tasks to do at that time so I went and did some dishes. The bosses came over again and saw I was volunteering with that and were impressed, telling me I might earn some extra.

Dream 4: I was going to my grandma's partners birthday party. We arrived in the front yard and saw a whole bunch of people standing around outside the front having a good time. I went over to my grandma and asked her where the man of the hour was, but she said he was quite ill and was keeping in bed. We went in to see him and he gave us some presents, I think I got a diary.

Dream 5: My grandpa (other side of family) was dying, so we were all going in to the hospital to see him. While in the waiting room we talked about random stuff, like my dad's weight loss and my stepmum almost crashing when driving in the snow. Eventually we go in to see him, and he seemed quite scared, repeating some strange facts about death like how your leg is the first part to go, and how just your body dies but you carry on, trying to reassure himself. It was quite a harrowing dream.

Fragment: Out in the desert, remote town

Dream 6: At my grandparent's house, everyone was watching this movie that was like a cross between Star Wars and a Vietnam War movie, except about China I think. Anyway I stopped watching and went into the living room where some random people were playing magic the gathering. They asked if I wanted to play, I said I didn't have a deck and had only played a couple of times, but they said they could give me one and it would be fine. So I joined in and we played and talked about the game. After a while though the light was turned off for the movie watched as it neared the end, so I went back to watch it. At the end someone from the evil side was a traitor and killed the 'Darth Vader' of the film, on his own side, before getting killed himself. It then had a voiceover about how the good guys escaped and went on to found a great empire.