non-lucid

10pm (I went to bed early feeling tired and feverish so already had recall)

My husband called me to a conference call at his office to try to work out a problem he thought I had with one of his coworkers. The coworker started defending himself saying he had no clue I had a problem with him. I replied that this because I have no problem with him whatsoever, and my husband misunderstood. As I was leaving the conference room, I said that of course part of the reason why I have no problem with him has to do with the fact that I do not actually know him at all, and he agreed.

Still in my husband's office, in the office kitchen: I first randomly give a female stranger a backrub from behind. Then it's as if I forgot that this female stranger is there and I definitely forgot about rubbing her, and I start thoroughly massaging my husband. He is fully clothed but on the floor in a way and I give him a full back massage while squatted on top of him. Very sensual.

Only then do I remember the female stranger coworker, and that we were blocking her way out of the kitchen and forcing her to watch. I appologize to her. She says, no problem, and that she wishes she had watched me chew out Alexandro. I figure Alexandro must have been the male coworker in the conference room who I had no problem with. It occurs to me that he did not look like an Alexandro, looked very WASP. I explain to the coworker that there was no chewing out involved.

Fragment: I was in a waiting room of a doctor's office explaining why I was there. I do not recall why. I had the sense though in the dream that I had been waiting for a long time and had given the same explanation many times before. Later in same dream I was trying to help the doctor not to be lost: I was telling him that the reason he could not find an office number was because the address was from before his practice moved to another building, but he would not listen to me, and just kept going and looking.

Very lazy to write down full dream so here is main things.

-I had a game simulation of COD.
-BF3 simulation nearly got sniped here.
-In the sewer on a boat.
-Met a guy that looked like a hippy and he told me that he likes to take acid and base together.

hhhhh. I wanted to fall back asleep and pick the dream up where I left off but I think the TV downstairs is too loud ...

Fragment 1
Somethin' about an evil villain type guy who operates mainly in this underground sewer-ish place. Tunnels, dark with red lighting, and with walkways of metal grating. There was something about how he wanted to lure a good guy or a hero of some sort there, in order to harness his ... heroic attributes.

Fragment 2
Dad's chewing noisily and I'm trying to tell him that this time, THIS time, I'm not going to just handle it (I have misophonia IWL). I'm so beside myself that I doubt he can tell what I'm saying, but it's something along the lines of "It's been four times already and I'm not going to keep handling it." I think at some point he takes me aside and explains that I am going to keep handling it. Oh well xP

Dream 1: Walking on Ice
Yayyyy an actual vivid memorable dreaaammm...
It's nighttime and there's a bridge that goes across an enormous frozen body of water to an island of some kind. There's a rather treacherous path at the very edge of the island and at the base of the cliffs, that goes all the way around the island, and tourists are told that the farther they make it around the path, the more bonus attributes they'll get. I'm not sure what these attributes were supposed to be but it kinda reminded me of an RPG or something. Except I think they were positive morality-based attributes, not power-based.

Anyway I wasn't a tourist but I decided to go around the path anyway. My sister was with me, walking along a bridge that also went around the whole island, so we were sort of side-by-side. The path itself was kind of hard to describe. Basically, at the base of the cliffs there was some white-painted wood cut in nice ribbed sort of shapes, at foot level and hand level. I forget what it's called, argh. At some points the wood formed nice flat shelves I could easily step (or leap) on, but other times I had to cling to whatever I could at hand level because my feet hardly had anything under them. If I slipped my sneakers would end up in icy cold water, so that's something I wanted to avoid, but somewhat counter-intuitively the middle of the lake was more frozen than the edges, so it was really only a danger right next to the woodwork.

My method of traversing this path was sort of daring. I wasn't proceeding at a particularly slow pace; more leaping from one foothold to another and clinging to the handholds as necessary. I think Jess and I were chatting as I went and the maneuvering was more background work. I wasn't at all worried about slipping; I think on some level I knew confidence would be enough to keep me from slipping. Low-level lucidity? 8) Maybe I'm getting there~

One interesting occurrence was when I saw a fish frozen in the ice a short distance off-shore. My first impression was that it was an "angry fish" (carnivore), and then I walked over on the ice to investigate, a little nervous as I felt it cracking under my feet. At this point I was a little fascinated by how great the ice looked; really, how great everything looked.

Upon closer inspection, the angry fish was actually only partially trapped, and it had its face pressed up against a hole in the ice. Then I had a good idea, and walked over to where I'd (earlier?) spotted a dead normal fish (non-carnivorous), also trapped in the ice. My impression was that it had been in the ice for some time, but that it would make a good meal for the trapped fish anyway. It was also about the same size as the other fish. I grabbed it at the base of the tail and pulled it out of the ice somehow, and then walked back to the carnivore fish, which I could sort of now tell was a seal, and I said as much to Jess when she called from the bridge asking what the thing was. It had its muzzle poking out the hole in the ice again and was eagerly opening and closing its mouth, and as I dipped the dead fish's face by the seal's face, it suddenly grabbed it and yanked it out of my hand under the ice.

Then there was a last bit where the seal was drifting along (free of the ice) asleep with the fish, now trailing blood, in its mouth. Somehow the fish was parallel to the seal. Actually they may both have been trailing blood for some reason. Then there was some nature narrator saying something about how, unfortunately for the fish, fishes and seals experience unconsciousness differently, so the fish couldn't really escape even though the seal was asleep. And then shortly after that I woke up. Hm.

And then I spent probably half an hour or more trying to fall back asleep but no cigar. Maybe because I was worried about forgetting all this.

Past few nights I've had trouble recalling dreams, but last night I was able to recall one of them.

I was back at my very first home where I grew up as a child. I was looking out through the wide kitchen window to the back garden. As a child my mother made it a large allotment of prize winning gooseberry bushes, blackcurrant bushes, raspberry canes, rhubarb, and she had a greenhouse where she doctored young plants she found selling cheap that were half dead and then grew them into amazing blooms. But now as I looked out there was little left of the back garden I once remembered. The privet bushes had been cut down half their height, a low wall was added by the concrete paving stones below the window with steps leading up towards a more higher lawn and cracked paving stones going around it. At the other side a shed was built right by where the rhubarb plants were, which were still there but massively overgrown. There was also bits of hawthorn and fuschia bushes that were badly in need of trimming in front of the shed. I looked with dismay at the empty lawn and said in a dejected voice "Oh mother..." I could feel her presence and her sadness of knowing all those years of working in the garden together picking berries to make into jams and wines were now gone forever, and I swear I heard her whisper to me "I know."

I woke up feeling this wasn't just a dream but that I was actually there with her in spirit. I'm considering looking the place up with google maps to see if it really looks like it did in my dream.

WBTB After Six Hours
Hmmmm. I remember ...

Fragment 1
Waiting in a church parking lot for something to happen, like for church to start. There was a lot more going on, but that's pretty much all I can really remember. I think I may have been moving along the ground which sort of signified how close I was getting to church starting. And there were cars and people going by and I was kinda waiting for mom. Huh.

Fragment 2
Some kind of Mega Man story... uh the most memorable part was that at the end, the promising scientist kid turned out to be on his way to becoming another Dr Wily, along with his asian scientist wifey. Like, that was a huge plot twist on top of everything earlier that had happened. Which I can't remember. So ha. I mean bleh. BLEH.
It feels like my recall is getting worse, not better... xD but maybe I'm just impatient!

Morning
uhhh my WBTB attempt was totally unfruitful. maybe because it's finally Spring Break and I just finished that end-of-the-8-week-class essay and my brain knows I can relax and recuperate somewhat. BUT IT IS WRONG. THIS IS NO TIME TO REST.

An Actual Dream Whaaaat
A kid from Paranatural who will remain unnamed is sitting in a classroom with about three others. My mom and I are sitting in chairs in the other room, and then I walk over to the doorway of the classroom. I remember this part a bit better because I was actually emotionally invested to some degree, which is SOMETHING. THAT IS SLIGHT IMPROVEMENT.

Anyway I was leaning against the doorway trying to be all casual and I was like "What's up, Dude'sName?" and he was kinda like, wondering what I wanted, and then I was like "Do you want to ... come talk?" like I was asking him out on a date or something. I was really trying to play it cool and it was super difficult... xD The girl sitting next to him was kinda laughing at me but whatever. HE DID COME TALK. With my mom and I. Which actually wasn't awkward because I view my mom as a cool buddy and not a ninja lurking in the shadows for her chance to embarrass me and ruin my entire life forever. I don't remember what we talked about though. I think I was just really satisfied that I'd managed to extract him from the classroom and get him over here with me. good times ;3

Fragment 3
uhhh this one had a slightly darker mood because I'm pretty sure ... well okay, first it was set in a filing room sort of thing that was pretty dark. And there was some kinda bad guy leader person, and he had this subordinate that he was trying to get to murder everyone in the filing room. I don't remember being too concerned by that though, so I guess it was more like a movie than a life-and-death struggle scenario.

Anyway there was MORE INTRIGUE GOING ON that I can't remember. just, y'know. Know that it was really cool and stuff. Just so interesting. SIGH.

If there were any other dreams they got swallowed up, even though I slept like 10 freaking hours. It was so annoying, I sort of imagined that morning would be when I would just be surfing in and out of dreams but it doesn't make a difference surfing in and out of dreams if your BRAIN DOESNT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. I seriously remember that when I woke up for my WBTB my brain was simultaneously going "I HAD NO DREAMS AT ALL" and still sort of having flashbacks to the dreams I'd just had. Make up your MIND.

I'm going to get back my consciousness, the consciousness that let me realize the difference between waking and sleeping. I'm going to figure out where it went and drag it back into the open spaces of my mind. It's probably behind a mental dishwasher somewhere. Frick.

One dream:

Jim and Andy ("According to Jim") are playing a round of beer pong. While Jim is drinking wine (actually Goon) from cups, Andy drinks beer from cans. Jim hasn't hit a single can yet, while Andy has only three left. Jim complains about Andy cheating, since some of his cans are closed and he can't put the ball inside.

One fragment:

An ex-colleague of mine wants to visit me and calls while she is on the way to my house. False Awakening: I'm in some kind of office and wonder why my ex-colleague hasn't arrived yet. I call her, she picks up and says in a sleepy voice: "Hello?" I immediately hang up and think that I just woke her and that she is not coming to my place, since it was just a dream before. She calls back but I don't pick up. I decide to send her a text later, explaining what happened.

had dreams about supply and demand

3.10.14 Monday

Last night, bed at 9pm - 4:50am

DR 11:30pm
My boss is resigning. I'm sad and freeked out, because he is so cool. I'm thinking who will replace him. Then I'm reading an email from him telling me same thing.

DR 4:50am
I'm counting money. I have a lot. Tens of thousands. Taking a private jet home to europe. Sitting in a comfy chair, someone else is with me on the plane.

At home in europe, we are counting another money with my mom. We are in a nice big bright house. She tells me to close the shades so people don't see. Money are in bundles of thousands. And mom is bringing them from other places too.

I'm thinking which route of commercial airliner I'll take back to US, so I go through some place I have not been through yet.

3/10/2014 – 3:45 am: Dream 1 I am in a school. I am in a classroom with a group of people. I know 2 of the people: one is Kevin Bacon (the actor) the other is a Jim G. guy I went to high school with but he actually looks like Matthew Lillard (the actor). At one point the teacher (an attractive older woman) asks me to come up to the board to solve a math problem. On the board is a rectangle, there are 3 numbers on the left side and 3 on the right. I have no idea how to solve the problem and I state this to the teacher. I feel angry and embarrassed. At this point I remember that Kevin Bacon and the teacher are having an affair. I recall seeing them sneaking out of a warehouse together. Kevin walks up to me and asks me if I have a gun. I reply, “Yes. A 38 caliber hand gun.” He then tells me to “Have the principal run my phone.” I wake up.

Dream 2 Fragment: I am outside, standing on the side of a road. There are natural stone steps near me. There are memorial flowers and candles on the steps. I am with some old men who I know are war veterans, some have been wounded. An old fashion car pulls up and more older guys get out. I don’t remember any more.

Dream 3 Fragment: I am in a school with a pretty Indian girl. We are trying to get to class. Her 4 brothers walk up to us. The oldest, and largest of the 3, is yelling at her because she is walking with me. The brothers leave and we walk to a classroom which is full of large stuffed chairs. I don’t remember any more.

I’m having the same issue I’ve always had with recording my dreams. I have issues falling back to sleep after taking notes. This leaves me feeling very tired during the day. Plus, last night I woke my wife up by scribbling in my notebook. I’m going to do my best to record my normal dreams, but just don’t know if I can lose too much sleep.

00:00 Monday 2014-03-010 Competition #17 night #3 insomnia sucks and the paradox of intent

04:22

F1 entered and followed a snowy path
F2 at a drive through window with Arnold Schwarzenegger
F3 in a very tall steep roller derby with son and our cat kept falling down to the middle of the rink.
F4 pressing buttons and flipping switches on a bottle of shampoo with women around to enable something with a cat
F5 outdoor picnic with the D family.

Couldn't get back to sleep

06:00 up to kitchen for snack and reviewing why I'm not sleeping.
Held purring cat for a while, scratched its head.
Sit in rocking chair for a while.

06:30-ish back to bed.

Decide to hell with it, I had basically no problems sleeping in this bright noisy room before lucid dreaming practice. I take out the earplugs, take off the sleep mask, and decide to let whatever will happen, happen, including just lying there for another couple of hours, not trying to do anything at all.

And of course I fall asleep in about 5 minutes . The paradox of intent.


08:14

1) I'm trying to control a squirming annoyed infant in my arms. It's dark. I bring its face to mine and sort of kiss/suck its tiny (sort of doll-sized) nose and it calms down and it looks into my eyes and gives a cute little baby laugh. I do this a few more times. Face actually sort of creepy and doll-like.

2) A group of people are gathering around in a living room to start a reading, they ask what we've been reading, my wife jumps in and answers for me, we start reading out loud but there's a lot of noise coming from somewhere, I walk into the room to follow the noise and find it and it turns out it's coming from a two-way baby monitor. I walk back into the house as I "know" the parent with the baby is in a bedroom somewhere, I think the parent is annoyed at the noise of our reading and is making noise to annoy us in return, I find the bedroom where there is sound but I do not go in. I return back and am walking by doors, one is cracked open a bit with light and I think that is my friend MR's room, he seems to be stirring / getting up. I'm walking in a narrow aisle between a bunch of single / cot beds.

3) Documentary: The Man Who First Discovered Gold in Alaska. A grizzled distinguished older man with a grey and black streaked beard is standing outside his restaurant talking to the camera crew. He's telling the story of how he was the first person to find gold in Alaska. (At this point: I was then seeing his memories through his eyes). The very first time he panned for gold he found enough right away to buy himself dinner. I see gold flakes under flowing water, and some coins. He wrote messages on paper and folded them up and put them under a stone. I watch as hands fold up a paper and put several like it underneath a stone. It's easy to see the paper I think it's not very secure there.

09:00 up for the day.
09:45 at gym, light weights, some bike, light quick swim, sauna

I was in an elevator. The elevator could take you to places as long as you put in the correct number codes. I was holding a piece of scrap paper and there were numbers at the right bottom corner. I entered the code somehow. The elevator started moving left and right like it's not sure where it's going. I ended up on a floor with people in business suits. They went in as I got out. I asked the person in charge there if I'm at the right place as I pointed at my number code. She said not if I want to end up in hell or something I forgot.

I was walking around in an amusement park with my friends. I stopped in front of a glass window. Behind it was a display of somethings vintage. There was a trunk cut off from a car, a make up storage extracted from the trunk, and something else. There was an explanation displayed but I couldn't remember what it said. I walked further along and ended up at a beach. There was a huge sign on two poles that said "Beach" or something. I was with PW and wanted to kiss her. I was thinking up of ways to do it. I could hold her hands and reach up. I could reach for her face. I then realized that she was impossibly tall and I couldn't reach her.

My friends (3) and I were high up on the outside of a building. We were right by the fence. One of my friend got her phone out and wanted to take a picture of us. They all got their faces in the frame but I couldn't. So I pushed myself off the fence a little to get myself in the frame. I can't believe that I didn't care about the height.

I was looking through sport bras. I wanted to try them on. There were no indicated sizes so I put the bras over chest to see if they could fit.

3.9.14 Sunday

last night early bed till 4:50am

DR 3 am
Earth is preparing for a fight. We have 16 hours to prepare. I get an image of a slowly spinning asteroid. One side has some uneven terrain. As the other side slowly spins into my view, before I see it, I know there are zombies on it. When I see them, they are all standing still on a flat top of the asteroid.

Now I'm at home. It's at night. I hear a dog yelp from the yard and I know zombies have arrived early. I run to tell someone, when I wake up sensing a nightmare starting the moment of yelp.

I woke up at 4:50, but fell back asleep.
DR 5:30
I'm getting some kids ready for school. Girl is getting ready, but boys is being a pain. I yell at him to turn down the radio and get dressed. I'm making a bologna sandwich and piece of bologna falls into the trashcan. Damn.

I notice my uncle Tibi standing there and watching us.

I friend is visiting. We went to 2 schools together. We hug and I'm happy to see her. A girl is sitting in a armchair. She is purring. I comment on that and she gets upset, thinkiing I'm insulting her. When in fact, I like it and I think it's cute.

Today was a really weird day and the time change messed me up, plus I have to go get a bunch of groceries tomorrow morning after I exercise! And the hot weather is getting to me. My mind is all muddled. @_@ Must...perservere...

1. All I remember is a fluffy dark brown colored cat sitting beside a car(?) looking up at me.

2. I woke up to my voice announcing something in my head then remembered the dream.

Apparently there was some kind of competition going on. I’m sitting in the audience talking about it to someone.

A girl had somehow accidentally gotten off the stands into the middle of it. It was Greece vs. Turkey. She was Greek. She was looking panicked but trying to follow along, although it was obvious she just wanted out.

It came to the final moment. She was standing against a wall and her opponent was a few paces away against the wall as well. Another opponent lands next to her, blocking her move out. The only thing she can do now to win is flip around him to the empty spot between them.

Later, she’s talking to someone about how she doesn’t care if they think she should be happy to have been put in the position to win for her country, she didn’t ask for it, didn’t train for it, etc. She wanted an acknowledgement of what they put her through by not stopping it.

Inspiration: I don’t know if it was the inspiration, but Greece vs Turkey reminds me of Axis Powers Hetalia. I can’t think of why else those countries would be in it.

3/8/14

9:20 am non-lucid

Part 2

Something about to be revealed. Dramatic music with string quartet. I keep myself turned around because I don't want to see. First, girl from daycare (who was on the train in that other dream) peers out of the curtain (and someone harmless before her) and we're relieved. But the daycare kid says to us that someone else is there, implying someone tall and scary. Then I wake up.

Before the revealing, we are expecting something menacing and evil. But I (or my husband? or us combined?) remember the last time we faced it and how the creature wasn't too bad. I'm imagining the creature as よつば. My husband (or me?) says to sit in a bathtub so that we won't wake up (?) when we face her.

Part 1

Before this, we're all on vacation. We were forced to leave the nice timeshare (?) to go to a cabin in the woods with a lake. My husband and I were very upset and wish we had asked to stay behind.

More than just my family was there. At one point, I went to eat lunch when it was the Japanese lunch time. I remember there being very authentic food made by this nice lady (a mentor) and thinking perhaps I shouldn't complain about being here. My husband was there, and other Japanese ladies. One asked why I was at this table and another replied because I'm married to my husband.

At some point I go off further into the woods, past these signs in various languages except English and Japanese. I find a shallow source of water and drink from it. I don't recall exactly, but throughout this part of the forest there are things abandoned. I wonder if this area has radiation and regret drinking from it. I leave the area and look at the sign. There's English but I don't understand what it says. This was the most interesting part of my dream. I would like to revisit this area in another dream again.

Transitioning to the evil presence coming, something about going to a shopping complex with my husband.

Now for the most interesting and intense dream I've had in awhile!

I dream I'm sitting with my friend Matt in his blue Mazda 3 in a random parking lot. We are watching a girl having a verbal fight with her mother outside of a house about one hundred feet or so away. The house is on a small cliff overlooking some train tracks. The fight eventually ends up getting physical, and the two start throwing things at each other. Matt and I are laughing at the scene, finding it comedic for some reason. The daughter now gets hit with a shoe and tumbles backward. Matt and I lose our shit now, but the girl then trips and falls off of the ledge down to the train tracks.
"Oh shit!" I exclaim.
Matt and I now get out and rush down a hillside to the train tracks to help out. The mother is already there crying over her bleeding out body.
"Should I call 911?" I ask.
"No." The mother replies. "She'll be fine."
I'm not sure how much I trust the woman's statement, but I decide to leave now. I go and grab my own car and drive off. I'm driving down a main road, and I am surprised to see how accurate the dream has depicted my city. As I'm driving towards the BP gas station I notice something is very out of place. People are running around, cars are crashed, fires have broken out, and riots have started. My phone now rings and I pick it up.
"Dude! I just heard the government shut down!" Matt says over the phone.
"What does that mean?" I ask.
"It means there is no more government!" Matt answers. "People can do whatever they want now! There are no more rules!"
"Dude this is just like the purge!" I exclaim(I've never seen that movie), before we both hang up.
I am about to pass BP now, and two men come walking out into the street with AK-47s! My eyes widen as they see my car coming and aim at me. I run one of them over and kill him on impact and keep going. The second guy shoots at my car, forcing me to pull over into the Family Video parking lot for cover. I get out and see that Matt's car is in the lot too. He must be inside of the store, so I go the door. A crazy looking woman now comes out with a fat yellow whiffle ball bat and tries hitting me. I push her back inside and lock the door. I turn around and see a kid named Chase whom I know holding a shopping cart high above his head. He throws it at me and I once out of the way of it. I pick the cart up and throw it back, hitting Chase.
"Really man?" I say. "What the fuck did I do to deserve that?"
My friend Phil now comes out of nowhere and pins Chase down.
"Phil what the fuck are you doing?" I ask.
"I'm gonna kill him!" Phil replies.
"Phil you can't kill him!" I scold. "Think about what God will say!"(What a hypocritical statement, I killed that guy with AK a minute ago ).
Phil now gets up and stops trying to kill Chase.
"Can we not bring Christianity into this?" Chase asks.
I ignore Chase and start looking around the intersection, which looks like a war zone. I have Phil follow me on foot now and we begin running uphill towards my house. This is the part of the dream where my city starts looking completely different than real life.
As we run uphill more of our friends join up and follow behind me. We soon run into another group of people who seem to be friendly. We join up and continue going up the miles of stretch that this hill is. The houses all around look beaten up or abandoned. I mention to the group that we're going to my house, because my Dad owns a Ruger 9mm and a Ruger .357 Magnum(and he actually does IRL).
As we continue up what seems to be an endless hill, we run into another group of people. They have weapons and are pointing them at a bunch of women in tight yellow clothing. They tell us the girls(all around my age) are tribute for anyone who can touch their chests. ...what?... So all of the men in my group rush towards them, including myself, and begin trying to claim our wives. My friend Michael might have been there, but I don't remember completely. But if he was that's funny because he has a girlfriend.
I am beaten to the punch now(or grab I guess ), and all of the girls are claimed. I missed the last one by mere seconds. It ended awkwardly with myself and another man both grabbing the girl, but he got there a split second earlier. I awkwardly let go and continue to lead my group now.
We reach my apartment complex soon, which actually looks like it should in real life. I tell everyone to wait outside and I go into the house. For extra safety I lock the door behind myself. The apartment is dead-on what it looks IRL which I think is pretty cool. It shows how much the ADA method can affect your dreams' detail. Not to mention it was cool that I could hear a warning siren wailing off in the distance. It made the situation seem much more realistic.
I now run upstairs and reach into my pocket for my iPhone, but I feel now bulge. I feel my other pocket, which is also empty. Fuck! I realize I must've dropped when I was assaulted at the Family Video! I needed to call my Dad and ask him what the combination in his .357's case is(it actually has no combo IRL). I continue upstairs and go into his room anyway. If I can at least find the case I can get it open with something laying around the house. If not, I still have the 9mm which is in a zip-up case.
I begin searching all of the drawers desperately for the grey case, but I'm having trouble finding the gun. However as my search continues I unfortunately awake. Damn! Such an awesome dream too!

Closest picture to compare my Dad's .357 to: