non-lucid

In a dark and foul tavern, many people dressed wretchedly are eating foul smelling dishes of food. They look animalistic in my eyes,
and all seem to have lots of facial hair. There is a thin mist in the tavern of either cold or cooking smoke from the fire, it is unpleasant and damp. We are being offered to sit and join these people for food but are repelled, one even begins to be sick from copious amounts of ale. Evidently not a five star establishment, we leave.

I guess there is a lot that disgusts me about myself and I try to hide from, and be higher than, but it is still there, part of me.

I was living with some friends of mine after an apocalypse or something. Villains had taken over and we went into hiding in a commune of sorts.

D1: Lucid- I was in this luxurious house where I murder had been committed. There was a dead woman. I was consoling a friend that I don't know in my waking life but I became lucid & because I felt so connected to her I tried to find out more about her. She was hysterical. I was also looking around the room looking for hints of any kind due to the familiarity of the woman.... I woke up briefly due to a power surge in my home. My neighbors pulled down a power line which switched off our new central air & other electrical devices. I got up to pee & turn the our fans back on but came back to bed because I just thought it was a fluke surge.

D2: Lucid- I had just came back to bed & immediately started my dream state again. I was in a radio studio giving an interview with the same woman I felt I knew which made me intensively lucid because she was just in my last dream. It was about the murder & a house that burned down. I was confused about the house burning down. I had said something to my friend & to the listening viewers into the radio microphone. Suddenly I hear crying. I look next to me & my friend was now 2 chairs over & an older woman was between us & crying. I felt it was my fault & was apologizing to her because I was referring to my friend & was trying to tell this older woman this. My friend had her arm around this woman but I felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness & started to cry. I think she was the murdered woman. I woke up crying with a strong sense of grief.

D3: Lucid- I fell right back into the dream from an awake state so I started this dream lucid of course. The scene changed where I was standing behind a house & behind this house was one that was burned down. My friend was there again.... I started to utilize the state of the dream & said we should start to rebuild the house. I had started to use my mind to move some of the rubble to begin the building process. But my friend was saying we couldn't do this without a permit so we started a conversation about this when I was awakened again because of the electricity issue in real life. My son had come into my room. Hence my dream was over before I could finish the house project.



I spent the day using mnemonic method. Also a new visual of technique in particular that I've been doing over the last week where I look at myself in the mirror & close my eyes while holding the visual of my own face in the mirror.... I read you can only dream of people you have seen before in your waking life which in turn if you have not seen them in this lifetime they could be from a past life, alternate universe, duel reality, or parallel plane. If I was to take a guess to which this one would be it would be the parallel plane or duel reality...... I recently read a book that told of the "ether". It's what Buddhist's belief system & many other cultures who have a strong ability to astral travel talk of. I've also been doing the exercises to that allow you achieve such goal. It's a very interesting concept & my meditation practices are growing stronger due to these exercises.... I was able to achieve a number of techniques over this night which I'm really excited about.

v-wild, vild, chaining, lucid, deild chain, familiar people, non - lucid, ada dild/self awarenss, meditation technique



Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown

Preface:
Bed at midnight. Long day and long night. Skipped vitamins before bed; I was so tired I forgot about them.
I am noticing that my dream transitions are smoother. Dreams are turning into one really long dream, as opposed to many short ones.

DR1

I am walking down an alleyway with a couple of friends. It is evening time, and the color of the buildings is brown/goldish. It looks as if everything is being lit up by a torch, except, there is no torch in sight. I am with a girlfriend, and we are being accompanied by two guys. My girlfriend is talking a lot, explaining her new plan to "make" money. We arrive at a clearing in an alleyway. There is a table, with a machine on top if it. She has apparently found this machine, and this machine actually "makes" gold coins! The machine is made up of all types of contraptions that go all the way down the table and end with coins dropping into 4 five gallon (20liter) buckets that have somehow been screwed in under the table. You have to unscrew the buckets to get the product out. I actually watch liquid gold run through the contraption and I am amazed. I begin to think that this is dangerous, and ask more questions about how this came about. The guys unscrew the buckets from underneath the table. Wow, 4 big buckets of gold coins!

And then, through conversation, I find out that people are after that machine! A dangerous gang of thugs is lurking in the background and they ambush us. Our guy friends manage to take two buckets of coins to safety, but the thugs take two. My friend hides a little stash under some old clothes on the table, and nobody bothers to look there. We all run around a corner, and I find the doorway of a building. I open it, we go in and close/lock the door behind us. Its a sturdy building door so nobody can come in. Has a hospital feel to it, except for the building has warm colors on a darker scheme (brown, gold, oranges, dim lighting); it's not white like a medical facility. We start to try to figure out what to do, but we are confused and panicked.

The gang stops trying to get in and they disappear. We start to look around the lobby and offices, which seem like lived-in hotel rooms. We try to get some rest and figure out what to do next. Our guy friends have managed to run off with the gold buckets, so its just me, my girlfriend and no gold.

I start to wander into one of the rooms, because I hear a noise. My friend says, "don't go down that hall- I think it used to be a psyche (psychiatric) ward". I wander into a room down the hall anyway, out of curiosity. When I open the door, there is a little girl with glasses standing in front of her bed. The room looks normal, only I am seeing everything in grey/blue scale. A weird blue light is cast over everything. She speaks to me, and calls me a name that I don't recognize. She tells me I'm from Texas, but I have a Louisiana spirit.
I tell her she's mistaken, that "<name>" isn't my name. She picks up a doll, smells it and looks up at me. At that moment, her eyes become completely black and she turns into a small dwarf man/monster. In a demon-like voice he says, "That's right! your name is <my name>". I panic with fear, and he starts to grow taller- really tall. I think part of me realizes this is a dream, but I don't wake up. I feel like its a threat that can be contained within the room. I say to myself, "oh, no no..this is not why I came" and I walk out of the room and shut the door. When I close the door, my fear is gone and I return to the room where my friend is waiting.

All of a sudden, the thugs are back, trying to get into the door. They tell us to open the door and give us the gold, because they have our kids. We begin to panic and we try to negotiate. We don't have the gold so we are freaking out. They end up taking one of the older kids, and I don't know what to do. We can see the alleyway from the small window in the door. There is a fence (?) on the left border. They throw the kid over the fence and we just begin freaking out. I am standing there crying uncontrollably for a solid couple of minutes because I don't know what to do.

My friend and I then realize that we have been in the thugs' hiding place the whole time. We can see a car in the street, so we begin looking for the keys. We are also thinking that we can still get the remainder of the gold from the table, to get kids back.
As this thought comes to mind, my dream shifts to third person and I am floating over the table. The clothes are removed from the hidden stash before me. I can see that my friend has placed coins in a bunch of little gift boxes for the poor.

I shift out of third person, because I am looking for keys inside the facility. In some attempt at a trade, the thugs have given us pieces of wood instead of car keys. I realize that the keys must be inside the facility somewhere. I search the lobby and find the keys on the shelf. I tell my friend we have to go.

We open the door and we run. We get into the car- and my dream shifts into third person. The car has been painted this metallic purple, and its all tricked out. I feel myself get into the car, but my when my vision shifts, I can only see her face and one part of the car...I can't recall seeing myself even though I know I got in.


Notes:
Lots of obvious dream symbols that I won't bother to list. However, weird notes include:
-Two dreams in a row where two seemingly innocent people have morphed into harmful beings. (On 07/13 the homeless boy, and last night the little girl with glasses)
- Why she smells the doll to recognize me is so odd. I have a very keen sense of smell IRL, though.
-Gifts for the poor
-Purple car
- kidnapping
- poor is also a theme for 2 nights in a row. (gifts for the poor and the homeless man)

Created Friday 15 July 2016

There were three dreams I recalled today, including a late DILD at the end, to which I bagged this month's Bonus task. The first one is just a fragment now, though that was wilfully forgotten on my part; the first half was just kinda yucky.

Scrap Group 1
Skip gross part. Later, something of "chibi" human heads eating tiny people like candy.

Dream 1 - Don't Mind the Senseless Transition

The visuals were dim. I was wandering at a parking lot at late dusk.

As I searched for my vehicle (whatever that was), I suddenly turn up at the backseat of a car. My sister, Giane, and my brother, Terry, were there. I question how I'd no memory of getting there. Supposedly, I spaced out for a moment, during which I was taken inside said car. That didn't make much sense even at the time, yet I just left it at that.

Soon, Giane recieves a phone call. On the other line were two cousins, Carlos and Isabella, who were supposedly visiting. They wanted us to go to a restaurant to speak. Terry and I were not up to it, though I reluctantly change my mind when Carlos assured me he'd take the bill.

One highway drive later, and I go within an unknown home. This place was a bit messy, and not in good repair. Mom shows up. She claims we rented the place for a few nights as part of a vacation, I think. Most of the luggage was still packed. I look through the cupboards in the kitchen. On the higher ones, I find several plastic canisters filled with crackers. Certainly, we came more prepared than I expected.

Things get unclear. I know I wander around for a while. Not sure how the dream ends.

Dream 2 - Quick Quake

The visuals were dim. I falsely awaken in the downstairs bedroom at early dawn. Both being in this location and my inability to move makes me aware of my state.

I immediately try the earthquake TOTM by will alone. And just like that, the ground trembles with a low rumble. Such violent shaking was very uncomfortable. Even then, the surrounding furniture within and just out of the room hardly budged; they're only barely scraped sideways on the tiled floors, and nothing on or within them are toppled over.

After about ~30 seconds, I'm transitioned, though I know nothing else of what occurred until I awaken.

I was in a mall, holding a shopping list in my hand. First position on the list were potatoes, so I went to the vegetables section and started to sort which potatoes were good enough to take. Suddenly a dark haired woman in mid thirties appeared. She was wearing a flowery dress. She asked me about something in German language. I couldn't fully understand her and asked what she wanted in English. First she asked me about price of the potatoes, then wanted me to show her when the checkout is. I led her to that place - there was a really long crowd. She slightly pushed me into the crowd and we made our way to the checkout window. A short haired, blonde dude without one eye. I was angry at him for some reason, started shouting and tried to punch him. Then the security appeared and thrown that dude out, as he wasn't even hired in that place. I led the german woman to checkout and went back to my shopping. It was really late already so I went to potatoes stand again, but then I heard that the shop is about to close. I went to checkout assistant and paid 0,5 PLN for whole shopping - which due to helping the woman was limited to a few bread loaves. Then I checked my pocket and realised that I don't have my phone. I asked workers if they'd let me inside for a little longer so I can find it. They agreed and I wandered the dark shopping mall. I found a Samsung phone, but it wasn't mine. I turned on flashlight in it and searched again. When I found nothing, I decided to leave the mall and get back home. A walk through doorway was enough to bring me back home. I turned on that phone.

I was outdoors, and saw a concrete building. There were metal stairs leading to a door, a few meters up. Inside, there was a very deep pit to the left, with a square pillar in the center (like an obelisk, but with flat top). A ledge right in front of me led past the pit, to another flight of stairs and another door. I have memory of having been in that pit quite a few times, but no idea why. In one instance, I was thrown in by accident. I tried to prevent going to deep, but said f*ck it and let it happen. I fell in, and fell fast (terminal velocity, the pit was hundreds upon hundreds of feet deep), and had to "brake" by wrapping my arms around the central obelisk and squeezing hard - like how elevator brakes work. I reached the bottom, which was just sand. Even in the dream, I could not really remember HOW I got out every time. On the way out (later in the dream), I imagined climbing out, hanging on to ledges with my hands, but it didn't feel like I actually did this. I saw a bunch of (white) guys dressed up like Sikhs (turban and all). They went up the stairs and into the room, which I knew was occupied by actual Sikh. They were playing a somewhat racist joke on them.

I went into the room as well. In the next "scene", I was in the room, standing by two British (?) people by a long bar table. A bit further along the table was an American girl, a cute blonde, and another woman of whom I suspected was her mother. She was talking, but even though I understand English, I could not understand a word she was saying. Her pronunciation was terrible. I think there was another, dark-haired girl behind me in the corner.

At some point "we" left again, through the previous room with the pit. Now we were a bunch of guys again, I think already dressed up like wizards (stereotypical hat and all). Past the pit, the last bit before the exit door was a kind of wood planks, quite high above the ground. I didn't trust the other guys, as I fully expected them to play a cruel prank on me. As we walked over the planks, we could see they were half sawed through, so they would break under our weights. It didn't work.

Back outside, the landscape was beautiful. It was a forest at autumn (falling leaves, red/orange colors). The other "wizards" had left through an alternate exit, as we did not trust each other. I remember the ground being muddy. I made eye contact with the other two, and thought/said something. A bit later, I was going through the forest, and randomly decided to take off. I jumped, and as expected did not come all the way down. I looked up, and slowly flew up. There were branches of the trees in my way to the sky, but I somehow remembered phasing in a previous dream, so I phased through them. I heard the cheers of the "wizards" below me, which boosted my confidence. At some point I started losing altitude again, but I said quietly to myself "higher, higher", and fully expected it to happen. It did, I finally rose above the trees and flew off. As I was flying, I became aware of the dream (I think). Either way, I remember being surprised about the realism of the dream, how "clear" everything looked. I looked at my hands in mid-flight at studied them more carefully. Every detail, down to the pores and grooves in my skin was simulated. Amazing. At some point, I started fading. My sight became blurry, and I knew I'd soon be booted back to reality. I remember the trick of "looking at your hands" to restore stability. I tried, but could hardly see them anymore because of how blurry my vision was. I gave up, and looked forward - everything got very, very blurry. And suddenly, out of nowhere, my vision cleared, and I was flying at very high speed at low altitude over the canopy of the autumn forest. I recognized it as a "scene change". I noticed a white, double-rotored helicopter (like a V22 Osprey) flying by. Somehow, I felt they were hostile. I "stopped" mid-air, and changed direction to fly towards them. As I engaged the target, I got a vision of a turret on the helicopter locking on to me and opening fire. Before I got a chance to continue the dream, my vision went black and I was awake. Bummer.

Notes:

There's a memory of an entire section of dream that appears to "run parallel" to the part with the pit. There was a "platformer" section in a building with bizarre architecture (extremely tall interior hundreds up feet up, platforms and rooms built into the walls). Was this above the pit? Perhaps this is how I ended up in the pit the first time? Either way, I remember thinking about fitnessing, and how it might actually be fun to try and lose weight. Talk about reality interfering with the dream.

Additional dream: I was somewhere in Eastern Europe, walking through a quiet, green neighborhood. I had to remember where I left my car, I think. I walked a path next to the houses, and had to walk under some kind of tent...? I some point, I saw a sexy woman laying on the ground, making out with a guy. I knew she was a hooker, somehow. I knew I wanted in on that action. Without thinking, I went to her and got her attention. The other dude pretty much vanished as I focused on her. I tried to kiss her, but she didn't want to. I gave her the "innocent puppy" look, until she seemed more cooperative. I caressed her bare belly (yes, I've got a thing for bellies) and told her I'd pay her 200 bucks or something like that.

A fragment occurring before the 'main' dream featured classic Doom gameplay. It's possible I'm confusing this with a real memory - I watched a Doom video on the tube yesterday. Or maybe it did happen, and it was based on that.

The main dream, then. I was in a strange room. Possibly with someone else. Weird things were happening to the wall, as if reality was being 'bent', and I knew it was Pennywise the clown - a very common monster in my psyche. I approached it, and fully expected it to show its horrific teeth and attack. A bit later, Pennywise had a partner in crime, a woman I recognized as a 'fallen angel'. As I actually do rather often, I tried to reason and bargain with the monsters, instead of fleeing (not that fleeing was possible). I asked the woman why she was doing this. She opened a cabinet or small vault (not sure), in which I saw a dead newborn baby (not full-grown), with the umbilical cord still attached - in a pool of blood and/or water from the womb. She explained that human doctors had done this to her, and this is why she wanted all humans dead. I kind of understood her anger, but wanted to argue that the crimes of a few do not condemn all. But before I could do this, I woke up.

I woke up from a non-lucid dream but didn't have time to write it down or try & remember many details. My stomach has been messed up all day. Think I got a touch of food poisoning from Taco Bell, lol.

Another FA and LD.

Created Thursday 14 July 2016

Technically, there were a total of four dreams I recalled today, one which briefly became a DILD, and another which I chained into a DEILD. I'll just count the last as a single dream. Furthermore, I've only a hint of what the first involved.

Scrap Group 1
Something about a hotel, and possibly a mall.

Dream 1 - Special Guest at the Gas Station

The visuals were mostly clear. I was working in my old gas station at late dusk. A former co-worker, Tito was also there.

This place was packed, leaving me stuck at the register. At one point, a tanned skinned woman asked for a pack of Motrin, and also buying a small bottle of water. She lugged around large black leather purse and an umbrella, and also had care of several small kids. I reached for the medicine, which was oddly placed amongst some cigarrettes. In her hurried confusion, she almost tried paying me with the Motrin pack. On correcting her, she handed me the required $2.01.

Later, an olive skinned guy was trotting along with a large, plastic, multilayed cart. Very suspicious. I went to the front door, where I for some reason leapt on the ice cream cooler to get his attention. One query on what he needed, and he dropped everything and left abruptly.

Soon, someone buzzed from outside. Out on pump 5, I believe, was a frustrated woman, a black, full-sized van behind her. Several of her kids were running around. The woman was obviously using the hose from the other side of the pump. Through the intercom, the woman complained of the card readers not working. I bade she come inside to resolve this, angering her further.

As things picked up, Jose left elsewhere for undisclosed reasons. I alone had to deal with this parade of a line. A string of transactions later, I serve a thin, short, lightly tanned, dark haired, Hispanic young lady. She'd a long nose and looked rather plain overall, and was dressed in a striped sleeveless shirt and dark spandex. In lieu of buying something, the girl introduced herself.

"I'm Nahiri. I have something to tell you, but it's gonna take a while." I only partially acknowledged her words, my concerns lying more on the ridiculously long queue behind her.

"Er... would you mind if I take care of a few people before we start?", I requested. "I'd really appreciate it." She seemed a bit annoyed. While the next customer approached, I continued.

"Nahiri, huh? That sounds familiar... [Magic - The Gathering], right? Hmmm... wait a minute..."

It clicked. I was in a dream. I made breathing test to confirm this. Unfortunately, this ends the dream immediately.

Dream 2 - Beach Ball Planet

The visuals were mostly clear. I was a passenger in an unknown vehicle, riding around locally at twilight. All of my siblings were with me.

Seems the area was different, what with all the fields and trees in place of the hospital and several communities, much like how it was over a decade ago. Furthermore, a shopping plaza was being constructed where the BJ's would be. We dropped by to look in at several of the unfinished restaurants. One was a since defunct grill restaurant. Another was a Thai restaurant, which would make two so close by. Curiously, one of these places opened prematurely. My brother, Adam, peeked inside for a take-out menu.

Unknown skip. I'm at my bedroom, the sky fully sunlit. Soon, I realized I could fly, and so I zip around the house. This spooks my sister, who was lounging downstairs. So, she left. She takes along an unknown young male who she'd charge of, as well as my baby niece, who appeared as but a newborn. They go in an old, white minivan. I levitate inside to say goodbye, and float out through the sunroof while sitting cross-legged. Could barely make it out before I got my back end scraped by the speeding van.

Next, I take to the skies, spinning and dashing through the clouds. I enjoy myself for a few minutes before I fly back down to my neighborhood. While heading home, I glance at a startled neighbor woman smiling nervously at me. Then, I notice an odd, dark figure on my roof. It seemed a twisted man-bat type creature. So, I fly up to chase it away, only to find it was just (or likely changed into) an oversized trash liner. I kicked it off, and seated myself on the roof to relax for a bit.

After that, I flew into my bedroom, where I made flying spin kicks for fun. These attempts came out awkwardly, all too high and imbalanced. Suddenly, I wake up. How disappointing. As I remember the dream, I think to myself "If I were back in and aware of the dream..."

Voip. Just like that, I'm flying high in the clouds, my neighborhood and the entire town visible far below.

"...I'd try the earthquake TOTM."

Now aware, I thought it best to get to it immediately. I dive down at mach speed, and reel my fist back to ready a punch. Out of courtesy, I tilted myself to land in my backyard. Here it comes. A big impact. I strike the Earth, and... Bop. The entire planet is punted out of orbit like a giant beach ball, with me dragged along with it. Darkness and blurred stars zoom through the sky. Heck, this takes me far enough to pass Mars, the red planet skimming dangerously close for at least a few seconds before it's scrolled out of view. I wondered what sort of climate awaited us in this new orbit. Surely, many animals would go extinct in a short timeframe.

I awaken with such thoughts in head.

Preface:
Bed at 11pm. Lots of physical activity to release stress, so my body is sore. Recall of morning dreams are better.
Lots of detoxing and re-organizing going on in my life! Lately, I have been trying to rid my life of negative thinking. Most importantly, this has included removing myself from some of my social circles and false friendships, as I found the individuals to be emotionally and spiritually harmful. I realize that many times, my friends didn't mean to be so toxic, but I have a very high EI, and I'm very sensitive, so it affects me deeply in very different ways. Being around negative people is extremely spiritually exhausting. I need to be around friends who have a genuine interest in my well being and who have the same interest in nurturing the friendship as I do. I don't have many friends, but some of the few I have need to be kept at "arms length"; others have to be let go completely. As a result, I have been spending time with my really close friends and trying to build on the relationships that are most meaningful in my life. I am very excited about this time in my life, as I feel the negative energy is finally being cleared from my path.

DR1

I received a call from a friend in Dallas, telling me that she was coming to visit for the weekend. My mom and I begin an organization project. We are in a huge room, which is apparently my closet. There are racks of clothes neatly organized, but I still have more apparel to put in order. I begin to complain that I have no space. All of a sudden, my mom moves a rack of clothes and reveals tons of unused shelf space. "You have plenty of room", she says. I am excited and begin to use the space. I have conversations with my mom about clothes and I even have the nerve to say I really don't have anything to wear. She laughs, of course.

After cleaning, I am with my two small nieces outside. We live in a house with a doorway that faces a busy street. There is a bus stop on that busy street, half a block from our house. We do not have a front lawn at all. Instead, we have a sort of pavement space. It almost feels like we are living inside of a storefront. Anyway, I am sitting on the ground with my two nieces and we are putting together a puzzle. This is a beautiful puzzle, of a view of buildings. The puzzle pieces are huge, maybe the size of small postcards. However the puzzle itself is pretty big, so its taking awhile and the sidewalk is full of them. There is one part in particular that I want to put together- a gorgeous periwinkle blue building. I am so happy while putting it together and I'm really feeling great. The kids help, and at some point my sister joins us. I start to grab all of the pieces for the framework. The kids get bored and go inside. My sister is helping but she's working on another area, and we're making small talk.

Then, a small boy gets off a city bus not too far away from us. He looks homeless. He's kind of dirty and wearing tattered clothes. He sits down next to me and watches me put the puzzle together. I let him sit there, because I figure he's harmless. He starts to ask questions and talk a lot. At first I am not really paying attention, but then his voice starts to get deeper. My sister notices the boy and becomes uninterested in the puzzle. She goes away (inside our home?). I am a little confused by the boy's presence and exactly what he wants. I don't ask him anything, and it feels hella uncomfortable, but I let him go on sitting there and talking. I get about 4 pieces of the part I really like, so that I can completely see the building. I turn to look at the boy, and I get freaked out because he has turned into a homeless man, sitting there watching me put together this puzzle.

At this point, I become a third person in the dream, and I can see myself sitting on the ground with the puzzle, and I can also see the man not far away. He is still seated, but he has moved closer to me. He has this sore on the inside of his bottom lip; I can see it when he talks. He looks completely neglected. I can see my expression and feel it at the same time..I am weirded out but I try not act weird because I don't want to disrespect him. He starts talking about random things, I am not really sure about what- his problems...I don't know, he's rambling. I am wary of him. I watch myself stand up and move away from him. I appear grossed out. I also go away (inside our home?).

Side Notes:
Experienced memorable, blissful feelings while piecing together the part of the puzzle with the pretty, blue building.
Experienced fear and disgust upon infringement of a stranger.
News of my friend in Dallas is odd. Will have to check on her.

I met a young boy who was in a school play. I gave him some advice on nervousness, and relived my days of school plays. After the play I went to a party store to get ready for the after party. The store was owned by that kid. I was telling my parents how much I respected him, but deep down I wanted a store of my own. Eventually the store was torn down and every item and shelf removed. I started talking to a cute girl working there and a moment happened that was identical to yesterday. I remembered the secret of eye contact and spent the entire conversation staring deeply into her left eye. It was very beautiful and so detailed, I could never reality check something like that.

But from now on I will. Whenever that moment happens in my life I will become hyper aware. At least I'll try.

Dream Signs:
Deep eye contact
School Play
Parents

I was a footman with raiding force that wanted to reclaim it's land from evil warlords. I had a chainmal, throwing axe and a hand axe. The fort was surrounded by huge, circular wall made of wood logs. The entrance wasn't heavily guarded - women of different age with throwing axes. With my group we rushed to battle, avoiding their thrown weapons. I let only one of the women alive. She seemed somehow familiar, she had long blonde hair and was tall. We let her free and moved onward, to find ourselves a shelter for the night before striking warlord next day. We've found safe spot inside an abandoned shed and fallen asleep.

I hate this game
It feels like I’m playing a very realistic game. It starts with me and some other guy being stuck in a run down room about the size of a smallish bedroom. The walls are grey from dirt or whatever. There's also a small dog. In the corner is a messed up wooden door with a padlock on it. On the other side of the room is a dark hallway that will lead us to who knows what. There's one more door, to a storage closet or something. The guy enters the hallway to explore. On the other side of the door I can see an older man. I think he has a tanned skin. He definitely has some dreadlocks, though I think not all of his hair is dreads. For a moment I wonder if there is some understanding between us. I vaguely feel a connection. I open the door to the storage and accidentally hit the dog, who was just digging for something it seems. It seems like he's found something. The dog has found a tiny hidden space in the ground, which contains a key. I use it to open up the padlock. I think at first the door doesn't open yet, but eventually it's wide open or it has disappeared. This happens while I'm on the other side of the room. The man starts using blow darts to shoot at me. He doesn't shoot me directly. The darts ricochet off the walls 3 times before getting to me. He doesn't always hit me, but it's scary enough. A few times I get hit on the back, which hurts. I grab a large bamboo pole from the closet and attempt to scare him off. It works a bit. I follow him outside. I know I should be waiting for the other guy, as I shouldn't leave him behind, but... The man has upgraded to actual bow and arrow now. He's perhaps 5 metres away from me. I need to cover this distance fast if I don't wanna die. I smack the bamboo pole around, trying to distract him and throw him off balance.

Attack
I'm sitting in a tram in Amsterdam, as obvious from the lay out of the tram and the blue / grey colours. To my right is my girlfriend. We're sitting sideways, on the left side. Somewhere in front of me (so on the right side of the tram) is a black guy about my age, with a backpack. I've got a bad feeling that he's gonna be shooting up a lot of people, though I don't remember why. I think I saw a gun. I'm not sure whether I should say something. In the mean time I'm still trying to figure out where I need to go, using my girlfriend's white iPhone SE. She mentions a stop and I hope she's wrong about it. I quickly unlock her phone with the finger scanner. Damn. She's right. This is also the place where I suspect the guy will start shooting. He and some other people have already exited. I can loudly hear the first two shots. My girlfriend wonders what it is. I immediately tell her to hit the floor. A few seconds later we run to the back exit and to the other side of the tram stop. There are still people just sitting there, unaware. I see the guy again. By now he's moved close to a grass field behind the tram stop. At this point I get separated from my girlfriend. I think I leave her behind, though I'm not sure why. The guy is still shooting people and I'm getting way too close. I hit the ground, pretending to be dead, but doing a shitty job at it. I still crawl around a bit. Is that.. yep, that's dog poop quite close to me. I think I can also feel some underneath me. Fuck. I take on some more dramatic positions to make the guy think I'm dead, though I've crawled already. He's shouting something which seems to be aimed at me. That he'll shoot me too I think. For the time being he seems to be focused mostly on getting other people. He shoots a bit in my direction, but not with real intent to kill. I can't help but wonder if this is a form of solidarity cause we're both black. At this point the dream kinda happens several times, or it is just my imagination running wild. He runs out of bullets and needs to reload. I get up, dash over and tackle him. I sit on his chest and pummel his face. He's still got a grenade in his left hand though. Hope he doesn't blow me up with him, or throws it down my shirt or something like that. I see all these things happening, but none actually happens. In the end I've pretty much beaten the guy to death. In the aftermath I (as the other black guy) end up being mistaken for him and getting arrested. Surely there must be witnesses around who can state my innocence.

Now for some lightheartedness: I'm.. at home? I guess. I've got a magazine which the AH [Dutch supermarket] mailed to me. It's still wrapped in plastic. They've included a live hamster or guinea pig or a similar rodent. It's in the plastic, together with the magazine. It can barely move. I take a moment before releasing it. I thought it was sad, but I needed to process the fact that the supermarket had just sent me a live animal through the post.