side notes

(Side note: It occurred to me yesterday, lucidity works best for me when I'm focused on a specific task, as with defusing nightmares, and that's probably something I could put to work for me more. So before going to bed today, I tried typing out one of my dream goals with the heading Task of the Day.)

I was flipping through the just-released final book in a series, the Wheel of Time, when it occurred to me that this series already ended. I get online to explain the discrepancy, and there's some explanation that this new book is an optional epilogue with bonus materials and illustrations and so on. I realize this is a dream. My first instinct is to just continue with what I was doing anyway, but right afterward I think, no, what I was doing was boring. There is no way I am going to waste a dream sitting around my IRL home on the computer. (Although come to think of it, a dream computer could probably do some interesting things too.) That decided, I immediately set out to perform the task I set for myself. (Successfully remembered!) The first step is finding a doorway or other way of changing scenes, so I head for the door.

Before I get there, however, I get distracted: I realize I'm holding the t-shirt I'd taken off earlier in the non-lucid part of the dream. But although I hadn't put on another shirt afterward, I'm fully clothed now, which I think of as a convenient bit of dream logic. I remember a previous lucid dream where I'd tried to transform a shirt into something else, not very successfully, so the presence of a spare now makes me want to try again. I decide to just transform it into a robe, that should be easy, I'll just lengthen it and create an opening in the front. I see there's an opening at the front of the collar now, so I take hold of either side and pull as if tearing it, extending that opening to the bottom, seeing that it's grown longer as I go. I hold it up to look at it - it's got the shape I pictured, but it looks like a poorly-sewn costume, like something a child would make. It's got a piece of plastic sticking out of it, as if a price tag's been torn off, and there's a tangle of loose threads and frayed edges across the opening in the front. I tear that tangle off, then realize I'm waking up. (It occurred to me afterward that both shirts had been specific shirts I actually own IRL. Makes me wonder if I'd have an easier time if, rather than just the general idea of a robe, I'd aimed for something more specific. Still, though: a more successful transformation of an object than the last attempt.)

So I am bit confused on if this was a wbtb or not. I woke up but I never moved or opened my eyes(this was round 5:30) I could tell because I heard my mother getting ready. I just went back to sleep but I started to have hh's, Gotta say these were fantastic. I heard train tracks like when the train goes over the cross section you here that bump kind click-clack sound. This was very loud. I felt so many vibrations and at one point I felt super light then the next I was sinking into the bed(I got about halfway through). It felt like I was going warp speed through a tunnel as I was sinking into the ground. I saw fractal like patterns mostly circular that were vibrating. I never managed to dream though but this was the closest I came to I believe. However as I mentioned i was not trying or planning to do this. I just forgot how much fun these are and how unbelievably real they can feel, see I have been working on dream recall so that I can do dild's.

Now onto the dream(which actually happened before the failed wild/wbtb thing) :

I was working at my old job cleaning a retail store when an old friend from high school, D, came in. He came over to me and the store morphed into a house. There was a party and we were all in the kitchen. I was sitting at the table. Everyone was drinking and socializing, however I did not want to drink. A lot of people from my public school were there as well, I takes to S a lot about mundane things. Suddenly talking to her made me want to drink so I took a couple shots if whiskey. I danced the mamba I think with D. Then I looked up an the ceiling was all stars. It was controlled by a light-switch that D turned on. I rushed out the back sliding glass door to look at the real stars outside. He came after me and I told them that the stars outside were much better. I then noticed a cluster of stars and said, "I am so sick of those goddamn aliens!" I then went back inside the house but most people had left. It was only 11:30pm so I was kinda disappointed it has ended so soon. Even though it was my house I decided to take a taxi, while letting others stay the night. I remember getting into a taxi with my sister however the interior of the car was a huge room. You could walk around and there were tabled to sit at. I then was listening to a women lecture about the safety hazards of driving. She said that good drivers get in trouble when others drive badly. I said I wouldn't know since I don't have a license. She kinda look at me like I was one the problem drivers( I think she assumed my license was suspended). So I told her that it just expired as I never went for my G2(this is true in wl).

I meditated today again 15 min. It felt nice.

I will do the second session just before bed, same as I did last night.

I didn't recall a dream I did however noticed myself waking up and gaining consciousness. I could hear this muffled sound and I started to focus on it and it became clear what it was 'rain drops'. I tried to stay in that threshold of semi-consciousness but couldn't.

http://www.gps.caltech.edu/users/jki...e_PNAS2012.pdf

http://www.gps.caltech.edu/users/jkirschvink/

http://www.gps.caltech.edu/content/j...joe-kirschvink

http://www.gps.caltech.edu/MagLab/

1. [Non-Lucid]
I'm on a street and there are huge doors on both sides, gold, silver (both have a big hat imprint above the door in the same colour) and brown (wood i think), I go through the top right door (brown) and inside is a really old and dusty room made of wood, there's a wooden rocking chair, I look towards the back and see a wooden staircase on the back wall going up.

I decide to venture forth up the stairs leading to an upstairs area...meeting me is a bulldog atop of the stairs (hes white with brown splodges).

Other things:
White sheet Ghost

2. [Non-Lucid]
I'm in Minecraft following this guy to a project hes working on. we have to wait to get past these 3 huge doors because they are quite slow at opening...eventually we get through and we end up at this maze thing made of yellow wool mostly with coloured stripes going length-ways.

We go inside and he shows me around and I'm thinking it reminds me of bit-trip runner.

3. [Non-Lucid]
Having an argument with mum and step dad about me going to cort which ends up me running off into my room and blocking the door, then I think they throw a rock through my window. I wake and let out a quite-ish AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

4. [Non-Lucid]
Talking to a few people about movies and someone mentions a haunting kinda film and I'm like hell no to the guy beside me, my Nan is sat infront and I mentioned she or whoever else watch "Her", had to say it a second time as she didn't hear me.
Possible dream signs:
Nan, "Her", doors

Today I started Anapana Sati meditation, as recommended by kadie. http://buddhist-meditation-technique...st-meditation/

I will practice Anapana Sati, before I'm ready for Vipassana meditation.

I did it for 15 min. I was starting to feel very relaxed and didn't want to end.

I will really try to do it 2x a day, for 15 min, for first week. Then 30 min 2x for a week, then for an hour.


EDIT:
Meditated from 10:45-11pm

Had epic recall and epic dreams. Related?

I was playing basketball in a classroom with a team. I was horrible( like I couldn't throw far). I also cheated a lot, I would just walk with the ball instead of dribbling it. Then I was playing against this guy I used to work with. The ball changed into a rectangular plastic container. I got one shot in the net. I then went to the table at the back of the room to chop vegetables. The head chef wouldn't give the guy that worked with a chance at learning from him. Also the guy had friends who were drug addicts, so I think that is why the chef didn't trust him.

I was walking through different rooms in this building and one was outside in a playground. I was apparently in a athletic competition but I couldn't swing on the monkey bars cause I had a skirt on. I had a long discussion with the spectators about how climbing a wall is not an Olympic sport. Then they gave me a bottle of corn-syrup and I climbed the wall.

I then went to find another event but inside the building. The light was dim and I walked through this open hall. There was one classroom with a open door. I walked in and the class was watching a science movie. I left to go downstairs.

The downstairs room was all glass with plants growing all around. The air was really heavy and damp. I sat at the wooden table in the middle of the room. My old public school French teacher was there Madamoiselle B(she hadn't aged). I talked to her about her plants. I told her that I had a peace lily and my mother has an orchid that never stops blooming( which is true in wl)There was a green puppet like thing in front of me laying on the table. It felt like Madamoiselle B was controlling it but also not at the same time. The puppet had big eyes and it was strange cause one moment it would let me pet it and the next it would spazz out. It also made scrunched up faces at me. A girl next to me said that people confuse corn-syrup with something( I don't remember what the word was). I was still holding the corn syrup bottle.I pushed away from the table with my wheely chair and by accident bumped into her dog. I pet the dog for a bit even though it was a little dog and I don't much like them. I then looked through Madamoiselle B's inventory of purchases so that I could buy the dog food she bought.

There was a fragment where a specific building had to be placed right in front of a beach that a had a white arch on it. The scene panned out to show the building matching up to the white arch, the beach area, the water and across the lake the other beach.

There is more but I simply can't remember anything else.

1. [Non-Lucid]
I assume its Valentines day as I have received 3 cards in the mail just as I was leaving the house, first card was the the 1 I get every year (I really don't know who lol), 2nd 1 was from Emily, I opened it and there is really big bad handwriting on the left page (like a child had written it), never got to the 3rd 1.

Other things:
Open front door, Eric?, Mother, Pink card

Date: 24 Jan

Pre bed: 200mg val, 50mg B6

Wbtb: 1/4 latte

Wasn't very wakeful even though repeated mantras a few times, fell asleep rather fast, had a few non-lds I can't recall

DILD: I am having a tense conversation with this female DC I know. She starts criticizing me. I reply that as a revenge I will then do something to make her feel the same way she makes me feel with all her comments. While this is a rather habitual mental reaction, I notice that contrary to other times I don't feel anything at that very moment. Still, as part of my revenge scheme I take her and turn her upside down in front of all the DCs in the room to publicly humiliate her.

As I stare at her, I notice that she just stays there, like a motionless puppet and become lucid. We're in a very large meeting room with a long table in the middle and lots of DCs participating in some corporate event. I'm in a daring mood and decide it's time to defy social rules by getting on the table in the middle of this meeting. Then I almost lose lucidity being carried away by thoughts of how all of the world's problems may be solved by by issuing unlimited credit cards to the entire population.

I keep thinking about this issue as I leave the place and continue towards an unknown city center. There to help me focus more I shout out loud "I am dreaming". There was a slight instability so this helps me ground as well.

Then I remember the invisibility task and go in the middle of the road pretending to be invisible.There are cars coming from all directions but as soon as I pay attention to them, they hit the breaks and spin a bit. I turn around and the same thing happens again. Then I see this huge truck coming in my direction. I start waving hands, checking if the driver can see me. He doesn't hit the brake or slow down and the truck is quickly coming closer. I step to the side to avoid the impact. There's little space between me and the truck, my uncontrolled expectations cause it to fall sideways on top of me, where I feel this huge weight on me. I try to move and free my head, but this results in a physical feeling, which gives me the impression I have just moved in my bed. I expect to wake up any moment but get an FA instead.

I believe that I have woken up for real and the first thing I notice is this piano music coming from the outside. I'm actually in the neighbors where we used to live some time ago and look to find where the music is coming from. I see this girl that I remember (possibly from another dream but could be false memory) who got that piano there and something about her. As if that isn't enough, the balcony is crowded - many people in their 20s and 30s dressed with business attire as if attending some sort of event. I'm think this is just too much when I am trying to fall asleep and decide this can only be a dream, reminding myself that I was trying to ld. Can't member how, but it seems I lose consciousness after that and have another FA.

I think in the beginning, I'm looking from the window to see what's down but then the scene changes and we move to this wooden porch. I initially see this strange big animal that looks suspiciously like a DS, I can't tell what kind of animal it is. Then there is a smaller one and I'm still trying to identify the large one. I'm starting to have some real doubts about this and begin to count the animals, one now looks like a bear and can't remember the rest but there's four of them. I conclude this is a dream and go to interact with one of the animals. It looks like a very large black boar/tapir and as I place my hand on its snout, it bites me and it even hurts.

I move slightly to the left and examine the rest of the area, where I notice a number of elephant-like creatures. I think they are separated from the porch, but no cage, it looks much like in a zoo. At some point the elephants begin to distort in features, open mounts and start roaring very louldy in a generally unpleasant manner. I try to stop them by thinking I want them to stop, but nothing happens and more join the roaring event. I remain there staring at them as they do so, kind of calm, but there's also this deeper inner response to their roaring, which surely is what is affecting them. I think that the problem is exactly this feedback loop - I am thinking that they are roaring, therefore they continue roaring. Then conveniently, I recall the inivible task and think it can be applied quite nicely here. I think that I am invisible. To my genuine surprise, at this very moment all the roaring stops for good.

I'm curisous to how far I can take this with my supposed invisibility and turn around and try to sneak out, while carefully listening for any reaction. The dream fades.

Notes: I have reduced B6 dosage to 50mg as previously it made me too wakeful. Recent valerian series - characterized by difficult recall, lower lucidity levels and more bizarre occurrences, in particular animals.

1.01.14

Last night, bed at 10:15pm - 5am. Night before, bed at 2:30am - 5am.

As I layed down, I started getting flashes of images right away. I figured, I got REM rebound from short sleep night before.

Almost immediatelly, I got HH of geometric shapes. It was a large grid of black lines on white, as if back-lit surface. The squares were filled with strange, as if chinese characters. Few squares had a slightly bigger character in them, that was more like a graphic, not letter. As if old chinese stamp with maybe 2-3 vertical characters in them. Oh, I know, like an egyptian cartouche, only vertical.

Then all of a sudden I got scared. That's when I realized I'm wilding. I fell asleep soon after.

1. [Non-Lucid] [Sexy]
I'm sitting next to Tiffany (old girlfriend), were watching a movie together, I'm hoping something may happen between us. She turns and kisses me on the cheek (I let out a shiver all the way through my body), she kisses me again (another shiver, this is an ongoing thing throughout the dream), She then puts her arm around me...then I kiss her on the lips...then we got intimate caressing each other, kissing each other...then I thought about sex, I think I asked her but then I was like "Its illegal in Disneyland to have sex" (JACK NO, FUCK, YOU IDIOT ) and so this is as far as we took it.

Now I'm talking to my friend about what happened and I said "Its finally happened after all these years " then I mention to him to net tell anyone about this.

Possible Dream Signs:
Tiffany, Disneyland



2.

My dad is moving house.

Sorry i havn't posted in a while, my weeks are very hectic and it's difficult to find any spare time, especially to write dreams down. I was dreaming throughout the week though.

I had like 15 false awakenings last night. Because all those false awakening really threw me off, I will only be writing down the one solid dream i remember. I am appalled at my behaviour during this dream. This is not something i would ever, EVER consider doing in real life. There is a part where i kill another person, and i think it might even have been another dreamer, but i sincerely hope it wasn't...i don't want to hurt anyone. If it was, i'm sorry.

To explain my color coding:
Red is for Non Lucid.
Green is for lucid.
Purple is for my speech.
Blue is for male speech.
Pink is for female speech.
Black is for side notes, that are not a part of the dream.

I'm with a group of men, traveling along a highway in a car. to the left of the highway is a hill, or a slope. It goes down far enough that i cannot see the bottom. To the right, the slope goes uphill, yet i cannot see the top. Anyways, we are driving and discussing a plan. A plan we have, to break itno this place, and place an object i nthere, to destroy something, and also steal all the money from the place while i nthe process. I don't remember the exact plan, but it's solid, we cannot fail. Eventually we arrive at this lace, it's like a mixture of a school and a hospital. The students are adults though. So we come in through the main entrance, and lock it up. No one gets in and no one gets out. We head down a hall to left and enter the only door on the left. It's some kind of classroom. We come in and tell the teacher to shut the hell up, and give us the acess code for the electrical room, and the vault. She beings arguing with us, and givings us a hard time. None of my associates knwo what to do. I tell them i'll handle this. (this part is kind of confusing because i act like i'm lucid, and that i know it's a dream, but i am not actually lucid and don't realize i'm dreaming.)

"listen, lady, your life is in your hands here. All you have to do is give us what we need and we won't kill you."

"Well what about the class? we could easily just all over power you. And they are all witnesses, none of you are wearing mask. What are you going to do kill us all?"

"These people don't matter, they are just dream characters. They aren't real, i can do whatever i want with them. Watch."

I snap my fingers, and make one of the students stand up and casually wlak to the doro behind us, and lock it. She then comes and stands behind me, leaning on my shoulder and looking at the Teacher with a sly grin.

"you see, complete control."

I wave my hand and all of the Dream character's dissapear. The teacher looks upset, she knew she has lost.

"Fine, i'll give you the acess codes. And then go away and leave me alone. The acess codes is 219."
(219 is a number that follows me everywhere in waking life. this is kind of creepy.)

I tell one of my associates to go check it out. he comes back in a minute or two and says it was correct. I look at the teach and say, "thanks." The shoot her several times.

...

My associates and I are in a sort of in a cafeteria / lounge room, which is next to the acess room. There are more of us now. We completed our mission and are jsut kind of hanging out and relaxing before we leave. Suddenly someone comes up to me, i and i shocked. It is someone who i was friends with when i was younger, in waking life. He is older now, and still a skinny little s**t, but he looks a little 'meaner'.

He looks at me and says, "I finally found you. If you want to live, come with me. I'm taking you to Andrew."
(Andrew was another friend my waking life childhood. He was the sort of leader of their little 'crew'.)

"You STILL don't scare me kid. Neither does andrew for that matter. It would be nie see them again thoguh, perhaps i can...'clear up'...some of that bad blood." I say with a smile on my face.

"whatever lets go."

He handcuffs me and we get in his truck. We are driving along the same highway we where using to get to the building i had just commited crimes in. We are nearing the exit, and i realize Andrew would probably kill me on sight, and i am handcuffed so there is nothing i can do.

"Hey little bitch. I know you have hated me our entire lives, what do you say before we go to andrew we fight. Or are you a still a coward?"

He looks at me and slams on the brakes. We pull over to the side of the road. He opens my door and kicks me out of the truck. I fall to the ground, but it doesn't matter, i needed to be hear anyways. I slide my arms aroudn my lower body, moving handcuffed hands from behind me to in front of me. I hear the truck door slam on his side and he is starting to walk around the back to get to me. I open the doro to his truck, get in, and lock the door. Whe he realizes this he comes running up to the side of the winder and begins smashing on it. "You F**king coward!!"

"you're the one who wants to fight someone with handcuffs, not me."

I reach around in his glove compartment and find the keys, I remove the handcuffs. It's go time. I unlock the door and kick it open, which knocks him back. I jump down out of the truck and land. I ready myself. "now it's a little more even. Although, probably not, because you never could beat me." He gets angry, and pulls out a knife. "that's going to kill you, i suggest you put that away."

He ignores me and charges me. He goes for a stab in my stomach. I gracefully side step him, grabbing his arm in the process, and redirected the momentum to make his arm stab himself, in stead. He just looks at me with malice in his eyes, blood coming out of his mouth. He tries to say something, but more blood just comes out of his mouth. I look at his casually and say "Yeah, whatever kid." and gently kick him so he falls over, lying on the ground.

"well, that takes care of that, and now...."

Now, i realize i just killed someone on the side of the dang highway. This is not good. I can see all the people looking at me as they go by in their cars, some of them on phones, obviously calling 911. My only option is to cross the highway and retread upwards into the hill, as the hill was covered in forest. I cross and begin going around the woods, try to find a path. (The woods where beautiful by the way, all of the leaves where orange and yellow, and there was a heavy scent of 'fall' in the air. This is strange, as outside the woods everything was green.) I eventually find an opening, and...it's the boss. The one who organize the entire operation. He's stand by a tree, talking with some huge guy, must be his number one goon or something. The boss is short and fat. He is literally a spitting image of Ernie Potts from Hey Arnold!.


I come running up them.

"Boss, i ran into some trouble, I had to kill a kid on the highway and everyone has seen my face. I need to law low for a bit. Allow me to return to base."

He looks at me for a bit, then lets out a very subtle grin.

"Ah yes..i had....heard...about that. You can go to base as soon as you dig up the treasure. After yoru collegues retrieved the money from the school, they buried it here. I need you dig it up and take it to a location for me."

"What...i can't do that. There are going to be cops everywhere, looking for me."

"No no, it's fine. You'll be okay, i promise."

"No, i'm not doing it."

He chuckels a bit and looks at the big goon.

"i understand your concern. But i am the boss, and you really don't have a choice in the matter."

I get an idea. If i am forced to do this, i will just take the money and run. If i have to risk my life and freedom, then it will be for me and me only.

"fine."

"Ah, good, i'm glad you came to your senses."

He turns around, and begins talking and joking with the Tall goon.

Suddenly, it hits me.

"Wait...you...you planned this whole thing."

He turns around and looks at me, with a fake quizical look.

"You are the one who told Andrew my location, and you told him the Operation we where on. You told him you would give him a cut if he helped take care of me. So he sent someone after me. But you knew i woudl easily outmatch him. You knew i would kill him in a public place, and become a suspect. And then your plan was to have me move the money to a location, so it would appear i was the only who robbed the school as well, making you and all your men completly in the clear."

"...Rather impressive, you are not as dumb as you look."

"you won't get away with this."

"Oh? but i will....."


He and his good pull out a large knife. They begin closing in on me. Alright, stay calm we got this. The goon comes at me, and i do the same thing i did to him as i did to the person who tried to stab me in the stomach earlier.

The boos looks at me and snivels,"Impressive. But you will not kill me."

he comes at me and swings his knife, i am forced to roll backwards to avoid it, i wasn't able to pull the knife out of the goons gut. He walks over to the goon and picks it up, switching his grips on the knife so he holds them backwards. He comes at me, and goes for about 7 or 8 swipes/stabs, and i dodge them all. However, he is not leaving any opening, and without a weapon to parry his attacks, it's difficult to create one. He manages to get a stab on my upper breast, under my left collar bone. I ignore the pain. He keeps attacking and i keep dodging. He starts breathing heavily....this is my chance...
I take a side step forward, preparing the all powerful side step kick. Before i even bring my leg up all the way though, he jumps forward, and re-stabs my my breast, and the other knife goes into my lower abdomen.

"You where fainting....you f**k...."

i fall to the ground. He begins laughing obnoxiously.

And then i wake up, with my breast and lower abdomen hurting me. I was wicked mad he had done that, and i remember not even opening my eyes when waking up. All i could think was, "that bastard! i have to get back in that dream and kick his ass!" But....i was not able to get back into that dream. If that was a real dreamier i killed in the school i am terribly sorry if i disrupted your dream. I mean no harm!

There was another dream i had, but i can only remember bits and pieces of it, because as i said i had about 15 false awakenings last night so it was very confusing. The parts of that dream, there was like an all powerful vampire, and he was hunting my friend, who was a young weak vampire for some reason. I wasn't a vampire, but a vampire hunter. The dream basically consisted of me protecting my friend, fighting off the powerful vampire, and retreating and resting until he found us again. There was one part in the dream though, where we where at some college for some reason, and it suddenly got attacked by zombies. I rallied the students and got them all to start killing the zombies with me. Fun stuff.

I was with my sister in a really dark room. I remember her changing her shirt in font of me and she didn't have a bra on( her body looked like mine not hers). Anyways, I took her seat which was close to the tv but she got mad and kicked me out. I went to my spot which was all across the other side of the room. I sat on get floor with my back leaned against metal lockers. They were poking into my back and it hurt also I couldn't really see the tv so well.

The film was based in a true story about a boy overcoming a struggle (haha I am so sorry this very vague) all I remember is the boy was wearing a black shirt and he had to wash it. He was boasting about how it never faded( kinda like those laundry detergent commercials). The thing is though that the shirt wasn't very black it was more of a grey colour.

Then I was in a 3rd person perspective watching a man race in a mine cart track. He had to collect diamonds and other random trinkets. At the delegated stops he would hand them over to people who gave him a boost. I remember wanting him to win badly. Near the end of the race it got really close but the guy I was cheering for turned into a giant. His shoulders brushed against the ceiling and debris fell on his opponents. He also dropped a boulder on one person too.

The most awkward thing happened to me a few days ago.

I was actually surprised at myself after this dream occured. I had the most obvious dream sign ever and I still didn't manage to become aware/lucid. I had more than 5 fingers on each of my hands and all I did was look at them and I have no idea what happened afterwards.

And then after a few days, something strange happened as well.

I was in a dream, I actually became aware, I was lucid and I didn't get excited but my dream was fading away slowly and I could hear myself breathe and I thought okay that was it. But I think that it was just a FA because I don't remember waking up tbh.

---

The thing is that my dream recall is getting better. Getting lucid is apparently becoming easier and easier, but there's one thing I've noticed. It's easier for me to become lucid when I'm at my chalet on the mountains. I don't know why but nearly all of my lucid dreams have happened there.