side notes

Well, last night was another bust in my little 2 day streak of no dream recall and not waking up form the binaural beats. I really have no idea how this little streak began but it is annoying me. I hope tonight I get back into my routine and have some more lucid's! I also finished writing my guide on binaural beats and it is just waiting for approval.

See ya

I was a young child at my grandmas place. Me and another child were in the shed playing a game. it was some kind of car game. the game was somehow linked to my real life and Ben an old sexual partner and where to sleep while getting him to sleep next to me. There was also some mention of the people inside being too hot. My friend said we were fine in the shed. I said that's because we have an air-conditioner in the shed while they only have one for the lounge and one for the kitchen. I thought that doesn't sound right. When I raced around the toy car the aim was to hit a certain object. There was a power up I kept finding too powerful for the car and kept switching back and forth. I also had to avoid objects that sometimes moved and would multiply as the game got harder. I got to level 9 before I couldn't find the object I was supposed to hit.

An unexpected surprise

I travelled outside to find the object and couldn't find it. Instead what I found was a lobster in a bag. I felt sorry for the poor creature. And remembering that there was a beach just a few paces away I decided to set it free. My friend came with me, something I didn't expect but was glad she did.

As I walked, I kept shaking the bag down afraid the lobster would hurt me. The lobster kept getting closer to my hand, the closer I got to the beach. When it was nearly at my hand, it was no longer a lobster but a kitten. I kept shaking the bag down now afraid of the kitten. Then I remembered my kitten at home bites me all the time and it doesn't hurt. So I let the kitten out of the bag. I let it bite my hand. It didn't hurt just like at home. I then realised the beach wasn't the proper place to let it free and resolved to free it in the park.

Escape

I was embarrassed and sure my friend wouldn't come with me this time. Again she surprised me by agreeing. Now we had a problem. How to leave the house without the adults knowing we had gone. I first went to go out the gate, then my friend warned me Grandma and Mum was out there. I could hear there voices chattering through the open gate and resolved to find another way. My friend suggested we get a taxi from the back yard drive way. At first I thought our parents would see us. I then realised they would only see the taxi, not us get into it. Then I realised the taxi drivers would be suspicious of two 5 year old children unaccompanied by an adult and told my friend so. It was then I came up with an idea.

In the back yard was an alleyway. I suggested to my friend we go down there. My idea to cross the road go down the street and turn back to the park. She agreed. Everything went to plan, though we got a few strange looks from some people. Trouble started when just at the end of the street across from the park we ran into some policemen, who noticed us from the station. They stopped us and asked where we were going. I politely told them that we were off to the park to speak to the park man then straight off home. They told us they would wait for us at the front of the park to ensure we safely get home. Therefore presenting a problem of being caught.

At the park we spoke to the park man, while a lady took a photo. Realising we couldn't be caught on camera we ran away.

The cauliflower man

Jumping and climbing from tree to tree we ran. Down below us the news told of two missing children while the police chased after us. We were quite famous. Eventually we ran into a strange looking man who resembled cauliflower. He was about to commit suicide. We convinced him not to. It turned out he was the owner of the cat. Running into the cauliflower man, we found a cauliflower costume that the man wore to make himself look normal. we hid in the costume. As we were walking, we talked to the man. a lady looked strangely at us. The man said he was praying. She didn't believe him and walked off.

The Teacher

The cauliflower man became a teacher. There was another teacher who was mean and successful. He had many trophies that he got to keep as long as his teaching was successful. The cauliflower man became a very popular teacher. The bad men's class kept emptying and emptying until there was no more students in his class. The Principal ordered all of his awards taken to the new teacher. The bad man swore revenge.

When the principal came to check up on the cauliflower man's class he was seen telling off a student. The principal left happy. The cauliflower man, as soon as the principal left, showered the child with candy. The child happy, left to write in his book. In his book the child wrote pictures showing him having a conversation with his parents. This changed to a different scene of the kid talking to his parents.

"how was school?" the father asked. "It was great we get to do nothing at school". "good" said his father. "we get candy every day" ,"great" said his father. "And he is dressed in a costume." "A costume?", 'Is it a cow?" "no","Is it a dog?" "no, its a cauliflower man." "What his father shouted angrily." "a cauliflower man." "No son of mine is going to school with a teacher dressed as cauliflower."

The Lady

The father kicked up a big fuss. He arranged to have the principal remove the man. The bad man happy of this news went to tell the Teacher. Luckily the teacher had been warned. He told everyone repeating everything we said in the costume. "I have decided to leave this school and start my own church where all the money will be given to charity." (The Teacher was unhappy at this last bit. We also had no money or church.) The Teacher became even more popular and all the children that were in his class instead went to his church. It was then that the teacher saw the same Lady from before. She apologised to him and said that she believes him now and gave him 3 million dollars, much to the cauliflower man's happiness. It was then I woke up.

And last night's dream continues! Well, sort of. This one was pretty vivid, too, but it got kinda fuzzy once I woke up. Actually, I can hardly remember specific details now. This time, it was more like a typical video game dream for me; I could only see the screen, like watching a dream in third-person, except I knew I was playing the game (in the other dream, I could still see my room). Also, other characters could actually talk, as opposed to having a dialog box pop up on the screen.

I was playing the "new" Zelda game again (see my previous entry: http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/fenn...a-games-37018/). This time, though, I'd already completed the game and was replaying it because I'd unlocked bonus stuff or something. I was in this building, and there were various traps and things that I had to get past (but I already knew how to because I'd apparently done it before).

I eventually reached a glass elevator and went down. Then, I got back in and went up, hoping I wouldn't end up on the same floor as before (remember, it was a video game, so things like what floor I went to weren't necessarily up to me). It went all the way to the top, where there was a shop. The shopkeeper offered me two amounts of money - a larger amount and a smaller amount. I can't remember the exact values. I chose the smaller amount, but then he started yelling at me, telling me to take the larger amount, so I did.

I think there was more to the dream after that, but I can't remember.

After that dream, I woke up and started thinking about it to recall as much as I could. I ended up falling asleep again after a couple minutes or so, causing me to have a dream where I was in the car, thinking about what I was going to write in my dream journal when I got back to my cousins' house (that's where we were going). We soon got to my cousins' house, which looked nothing like it does IWL. When we got out the car, my dad said it was raining, but my mom claimed it wasn't. I couldn't feel any rain, so I stuck my hand out in front of me and could feel rain. I thought it was a little odd that the rain stopped about a foot in front of me, but I didn't really think much of it.

In the next dream, my mom and I were walking down Main Street in the village near where I live, heading for a certain shop (which doesn't exist IWL). We were going there to find and purchase some natural remedy for... something. We entered the shop, arriving in a pink room that smelled strongly of perfume, with a white curtain sort of separating it from the shop itself. We walked past the curtain and into the shop.

Inside, the woman who owned the shop was busy giving a tarot reading to a customer, so my mom and I sat down at a nearby table to wait. There were tarot cards at this table, too, but they looked just like normal playing cards. My mom dealt out some cards (all the while, I was just thinking that she had no clue what she was doing) and then jokingly said that the cards said I would pick them all up (there were a lot on the table), but she picked them up anyway. Then, she told me that these cards were wider than the ones back in England, which meant that they had some sort of special meaning (of course, the real reason they were wider was because they were playing cards, which are wider than tarot cards anyway).

Then, I saw Makayla, a young girl from my church. My mom said she was here to tell us we have to take my friend's mom (not Makayla's mom) to the hospital, as we apparently had to every day at this time. She asked me if I just wanted to be checked out at the hospital while we were there or if I wanted to come back here afterwards instead. Honestly, though, I had no idea what we had even come here for.

Well, for some reason last night I only woke up once from the binaural beats which I found quite surprising. It was also already about 6:00AM and I didn't get around to starting the alarm so no lucids last night. Anyways, I did remember a bunch of fragments however, but I just finished writing a guide to binaural beats and it is late so I will do that tomorrow.

See ya

I also spent about 45 minutes reading before I went to sleep, which got rid of my problem of not being able to fall asleep.

Last night, I had a surprisingly vivid dream.

I was playing the "new" Zelda game on the Wii (I have no idea what it was called, but it's not a real game IWL). I was playing it on my TV in my room, though, so it should have logically been an N64 game (only console in my room; the Wii is in the living room), but it was a Wii game. It started out in the Shadow Temple, which reminded me a lot of the Shadow Temple in Wind Waker (wait... Wind Waker doesn't even have a Shadow Temple). I soon found out that Link could transform into a wolf, like in Twilight Princess. After hearing him scream upon returning to Hylian form, I decided I wouldn't transform unless absolutely necessary (there was no way to skip the transformation like in Majora's Mask).

I kept playing and soon found Zelda. She was unconscious. I brought her out of the temple, and she woke up. She had a bag of something that looked like pot (I think). She said it was actually cocaine and suggested putting it in coffee to make the coffee taste better. The only option for replying to her was to refuse. Then, a message popped up that said something about the Swedish not supporting the use of cocaine (as the game was apparently made by Mojang).

I somehow ended up back at the title screen. I turned off the game and decided to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (even though I don't have Netflix on the TV in my room).

I don't remember much of my dreams from last night. However I was glad to see that I had had six lucid dreams that night. A personal record. I attribute this to reading all the information in this site and trying some new techniques dream spinning and hand rubbing. Before I went to sleep I had an idea. Being Christian I don't pay as much attention to prayer as I want to and I thought if I was to spend one dream just praying, paying attention to god even building a temple. That he would appreciate it and it would make me feel less guilty for not paying attention to him in my daily life. As i could do this every night. I kept this image in my head as I drifted off to sleep.If I want something enough it will happen

I remember waking up in my bed. The first thing I did was a R.C. I did this by making myself levitate. I remember I wanted the sun to come through the window and light up the room it was night and the darkness frightened me. as usual I knew the light switches wouldn't work. So instead I turned away from the window and told myself the sun would come up and brighten my room. this didn't work. I then looked into the mirror for once not afraid of it but rather more curious if I could notice any changes in appearance. My hair was a lighter brown. I then made myself merge through the window into my front yard.



When I arrived there I first rubbed my hands together. I then kept touching everything I could as I walked afraid to loose the dream. I enjoyed the sensations as usual. As soon as I was on the foot path I thought about a faster way to travel. traveling is often too slow. I then called to Duke my dog. He ran up to me happy as usual. I feel by calling someone I know I can trust really helps alot more then calling someone I dont trust or hardly know. I mounted him and told him to run. Duke ran down the streets. I remember being frustrated that it wasnt fast enough though I told him to go faster. didn't work The rest is in patches. I tried to tell myself we would arrive at a temple I made for god.



We instead arrived at Mc donalds. I remember being afraid it would also be a church. it wasn't. Here I met a men who said he was travelling from another dream making me think if it was possible that someone from another dream across the world could merge with yours you would never know. He said he knew some sports guy I was curious if I could recover buried information in our brains in our dreams that I wouldn't usually use. I asked who it was and forgot what he said so didn't get to test the theory. I also compared two fingers of a women's hand to see if I was dreaming. I tried to make a temple for god by dream spinning. first I got different scenarios an island theming aladin and a temple. not being happy I kept spinning going through each scenario till I woke up. I was disapointed then I remembered to do an R.C check levitating again. my new favourite R.C check. I use to just observe things out of the ordinary 3 times and if there where 3 things out of ordinary id know it was a dream. Its harder then it seems. Or even harder once you question if you are dreaming tell yourself it is a dream as if you were awake you wouldnt question if you were dreaming.



I tried to get a temple and got one it was boring. a lady came up asked for a dangerous potion to kill someone. I agreed gave it to her it was red. she fought some ppl and killed them. the ppl she killed was actually herself. I saw a car wreck infront of my house. I was afraid it would follow me. it did. fear made it happen

remembering I was dreaming I ran towards it and faced my fear it turned into an puppy that had died that I had missed and all had forgetten about her. facing fear made the car go away I used all these powers and thought I am a god. seeing god I quickly changed it to I am a sorcceress as I dont beleive anyone should pretend to be god even in there dreams. and was afraid of what god would think. Finally tired of taking time for god I felt aroused.

Spoiler for adult material = rape:

I layed on the ground and imagined myself sinking into it as I thought about a Demon underground ready to rape me. As I sunk I experienced some panic that I was sinking too slowly or not at all and that something bad would happen on the surface. I managed to relax. I often experience fear in my dreams. fear makes bad things happen.relaxing helps make what i want to happen Finally I sunk into the ground and used my thoughts to make a demon grab me to rape me. as I was being moved towards him I told myself what the demon would do to me and angled myself towards his penis. the demon penetrated me and I usually in a rape scenario do nothing and let it take control. this time I found myself arching back and fucking it. The demon was surprised. it came quickly then there was some unusual dream about it being embarrased of the thickness of its sperm and many men had the same problem. one guy even suggested thick sperm meant the woman had no control over the men and was to do anything they said. I had several false awakeings and did several R.C. checks. I wanted to be raped again and imagined a blue giant.

I was handed a giants head. It was a bit gross I had to throw it into the water to make the giant emerge it was blue and stone like. The giant told me in order to have sex i was to attatch butterflies to my head walk out into the open where they will be eaten by catepilliars then eating my face. I saw several examples and was afraid and felt trapped. I tricked the giant by agreeing with him. then fled to a ship dodging the giant in the sea. My goal to reach the southern sea where I would be able to teleport as someone could cast a spell to help me there. I ran into an oil rig and the giant was saddened and cleaned the mess. I teleported to another oil rig. I was able to teleport when I usually can not because I imagined a scenario where someone helped me with magic making it possible

I dreamed I was to take care of some children. I put on black stockings as that would make children easier to control. When I arrived I had to clean this whole yard and put away this mail. I told my dad I did everything else he could clean the bucket. I felt guilty about that. I was proud of my accomplishments. I went to grandmas and had earned a big feast of I think nachos.

I dreamt of an old best friend. who I'm no longer friends with. There was a dress I was to wear for an important event. I was to rest. I woke to my friend who said she was raped by a guy. I was angry as I had been abused before. We tried to confront the guy. The dream got confusing a higher power a women didn't believe her. It turned out my friend had gone to the pub. We were accused of making males rape us. Some guys chased us at one point and I felt like I was making them rape us. I apologised to many women. And at some point someone wanted to pick a dress and I rushed and picked it first choosing it over my original choice. It was green and suited me.

I woke up for real several times during the night but found it easy to go back into a dream. I remember when I was 16 I had a recurring nightmare where I was paralyzed and my heart beat hard against my chest. I learnt to make this experience lead to a lucid dream by falling through the depths into a black void where I would make myself fall faster and faster untill I was in a dream. Quite frightening at first but it soon become enjoyable.

Well, last night didn't go very well in terms of dreams. I was working until about 9:00 and then went inside to get some juice but we were out! I was going to go to Walmart and get some more but my dad was out riding MY motorcycle *cough* like usual *cough* so I was stuck at the house. I then decided to go play basketball. As I was playing I ended up breaking the kitchen window on accident, so now I owe my parents however much a window costs and I'm broke. Upset about this, I just went to bed and can't really recall any dreams.

8:15 - Go shoot hoops
9:30 - Go for ride on motorcycle
10:00 - OJ, Grape Juice, Milk, banana
10:30 - Get on DV
11:00 - Go to bed with binaural beats
2:30 - Wake up and begin second cycle
4:45 - Wake up again and start alarm
5:00 - 5:30 - Have DEILD
7:30 - Get up

Well, last night was pretty typical.

I should mention, the dream where I was moving to New York, almost the entire dream was spent just driving around talking to my family. It felt like a pretty long dream, and I spent the entire duration of it driving. I miss having a car. = /

WBTB - Awoke around 7a.m. and went back to bed around 7:45a.m.
-
Part 1
I walked through a neighborhood, it was lined with different sororities playing kickball. One threw a ball and hit me in the head. I took my durag off to reval jerry curl like hair. I then started doing flips. I saw a firend of mine on a bike crash into a ditch under a bridge walkway to a house. I helped him out of the ditch. I then tried to get his CD out of the house. When I went the guy in the back controlling the radio yelled at me and said I wasn't suppose to come back there.

Part 2
I made my way to a roof top party. A lot of people I knew from highschool were there. I met aliengirl and we were still good friends. I then went to go chill with C.B. while we were chatting somone was trying to diss me, but C.B. stood up for me.
I then had on football gear. The jersey was dark green and our mascot was a duck. We were then at some kind of award ceremony where everyone gathered together and were all down on one knee. Someone beganthe Lord's Prayer. -Gets fuzzy here and I awoke.


****Side Notes
I now know 3 of my dream signs
-Flipping
-Significant Bikes or me riding one
-Me being a football player

I will be more consistent on my dream journal.

8:00 - Go shoot hoops
9:15 - Go for motorcycle ride
9:45 - OJ, Grape juice, milk, banana
10:00 - Get ready for bed
10:30 - Get on DV for a while
10:45 - Vitamins with glass of water
11:00 - Go to bed w/ binaural beats
2:30 - Wake up and make recording. Go back to sleep for second cycle
4:30 - Wake up and get a drink. Start alarm and go back to sleep
4:45 - Wake up from dream and re-enter it for a WILD!
7:30 - Wake up

Well, I think it is safe to say that I am finally to the point where I am able to have a lucid every night as long as I get enough sleep !!!!! Man it is so exciting I just can't describe it. I am also really working on dream control and have to say it is coming along nicely. Can't wait to finally accomplish some dream goals!!!

See ya

I was in class in high school with all my old friends. I dont think a teacher was their. We all were just having fun, talking, and watching a movie.

Katlynne talked to me casually. Which was nice and odd, because usually she felt repulsed by me. So I joined her group of friends for the last 10 minutes of the movie and we talk and had fun.

The bell rang and we all left. On my way out I talked to Devin a little. It was nice to see her again, because we were always on good terms. I go to my locker and grab a couple things, then headed down for lunch. It was a lonely lunch since I had no one to sit with.

Katlynne

I thought I'd take some time to go in-depth about katlynne, just in case my future self forgot. She has blonde hair, a perfect body, and has relationship issues; on account that everyone wants to hit and quit her. We've always had a weird relationship, in the physical world and dreamworld.

Back in middle school, I put myself out there for her and she rejected me, pretty harshly. And I had never went for a girl before. She ignored me for a while. Then our friends hung out so we kinda got put in the same situation a lot. We'd say a few words to eachother then kinda ignore eachother. She was the most complicated girl I knew. I couldn't tell if she just wanted to be friends or was kinda being nice because of how hard she threw me down or because she felt sorry for me. No idea. Then for 3 years we are seperated, as in, we are not put in the same situation. Then we get history class together and she starts to laugh at jokes I say in front of the class. She even approached me one-on-one a few times and put casual conversations out there. As if she would like to be my friend. I would talk back to her, but also kinda brush off her conversations. I was still confused and hurt by how she acted before. I feel like she may have been interested in a romantic relationship with me, obviously if we hung out more and she confirmed that she liked me. But I wouldn't put that theory on record. And at this point I had undergone a lot of changes. Something had to have appealed to her to want to be my friend. I more or less brushed her off, dropped out of school and went on to do other things with my life (highschool is pointless and I didn't need to go to a good college for my career choice). Anyways, I've seen her 1 or 2 times since I dropped out. A part of me wishes I didn't drop out, I now realize that her friendship would've meant a lot to me.

Now the tie-in. Ever since I left her 1 and a 1/2 years ago, Ive had dreams of her. About every two weeks I'll have a dream about her. Im not exactly sure why, Im assuming its a mix of her having a big impact on my life and that we have a spiritual connection. Of course I wouldn't say that on record, but I kinda feel that connection with her. Take that however you want, but... whatever. Anyways, these dreams are always about being rejected by her or just kinda watching her. In my dreams, her form basically represents rejection (especially from the feminine), the love that wont be, and just sitting on the sidelines. Always she acts out those themes to me in my dreams, up until last night, when she accepted me.

Afterthoughts

Katlynne usually represents feminine rejection/disconnection for me. And I've probably have had 20 dreams over the course of the last 6 months of her consecutively representing those things. So her having a casual conversation, trying to repair our relationship, means something big. Now I couldn't really tell if she was looking for something romantic later on in our relationship. But one thing I do know is that her form now accepts me and were on good terms.

I can't say that I know exactly what this means. It felt really good to have her acceptance and be able to have a nice conversation with her. It could mean that I've conquered my fear of rejection. But it could also mean other things. Im also not sure if this was a shared dream or not. If it was then it could've been just as much of her getting over what I represent in her life as what she represents in mine.

The lonely lunch definitely puts a twist to things. Like, I'm accepted/not scared of rejection yet Im still lonely. Shiitt, that's right lol Though I'm still a bit scared of rejection. There must be more dimensions to what she represents than I'm realizing.

I can't help but feel that one day Katlynne and I are gonna meet again one day and have a great relationship (friendship, possibly romanctic relationship, whatever happens). I just get that feeling out of no where. It could just be the dreams and resentment of how I left things. I guess time will show if its true.

Every morning I've woken up and I have written down so...many....pages.... But no matter what I do, when I have lucidity, I lose it just as fast as I gained it, or I'm aware but I can't do anything significant. This doesn't discourage me from repeatedly trying again and again and again until I get it. But it's a little frustrating to know that I have only so much knowledge of what it feels like to be lucid. My basic idea (and when I mean basic, I mean that I really can't confirm it but it would seem about right) is that I suddenly feel like I just woke up, and I went back into the dream or I'm thinking about the dream as if I was awake. There has to be a way to get myself to mount firmly before I lose that control. Because I lose it as soon as I see it. How do I know that the feeling is lucidity? Well I checked back to my first experience (which was the most vivid of them all) and I realized that after seeing that I was in fact dreaming, and then getting my arse knocked around in that tail spin because I got too exited, that same feeling followed, and it was there with me while I was in my spinny, blurry, limbo. then I realized that I've had this same feeling many many many times before especially when I'm in a tail spin. So my question is, how the heck do I mount myself in the dream before I lose the control? I don't think the "I'm an anchor" thing works. Anyone have any suggestions?

another one that I initially remembered a lot of, but didn't have time to lie there and hold on to it after waking, so most of it was gone before I could write it down

*****FRAGMENT*****

So, I'm apparently someone fairly high up in an army, and the commander is William Wallace. He tells me to collect some plants from my back garden, because he wants to make something he calls 'wolf-gas'. We then find ourselves on a large field- our army is there, but I couldn't see the enemy. Wallace then gives a speech- similar to the Braveheart one, but not exactly. As far as I can remember it was along the lines of the enemy being just like us, and just as scared as we were.

-There's then a large chunk that I can't remember-

I'm on a hill with William, and there's a farm nearby with smoke rising from it. He tells me to be careful, because it's wolf gas, and we then run in to rescue the people inside (the wolf gas seems to have a similar effect to mustard gas). I'm then walking around after the battle, and I see a man dressed as a clown fighting with someone over loot. I turn a revolver on him and tell him that neither of them have the rights to loot.

*****END*****

So, yeah, disappointing recall, but that was more of an external issue- I woke up because my father was shouting up and needed to speak to me, so I had no time to remember much or write anything down. There was certainly more of it, but it's too faint.