side notes

Well, this last week school started. I have been able to go to bed about 9:30 once all my homework is finally done.
The binaural beats have also been waking me up and I have been starting the alarm, but I guess I am just too worried about the approaching school day to really be able to get back in the dream because I had many opportunities last week where I should of just got right back into the dream but didn't. Guess I will just have to work on that and hopefully my homework load doesn't keep me from going to bed before 10. (I have to get up at 6).

Also, last night I did my normal summer routine except my stupid mp3 player glitcetched out and reset itself again sometime while I was asleep so it wasn't even playing anything during the night and I never woke up. Too bad I am broke from spending all my money on a motorcycle or I would buy a new one so I can rely on it every night instead of having to hope and pray it works.

Ok, I ALMOST had yet another WILD. This would have been my 4th one this week, had this attempt and another attempt not failed. So I've had 2 WILDs this week, And 2 almost WILDs. I'm definitely getting the hang of these now. I felt the heavy feeling come across my body and everything, and it got darker and darker... But for some stupid reason, I woke up -__- I dunno why, but I did. There appears to be a... pattern... as well...

WILD, Almost WILD, WILD, Almost WILD, ---

Perhaps this is a pattern, and maybe I'll have another full WILD soon? Idk. But I'm still glad I'm getting used to Lucid Dreaming again...

I can only recall one fragment from last night.

I was in my room and I was training to be an astronaut! It was wierd cause I wasn't realy official or anything, just kind of like NASA went "Oh hey, let's send some random guy on the space Shuttle" (Yes I know it's retired but that's what it was in the dream). Anyways, I then remember seeing myself and the other astronauts in the space shuttle from a third person view. 0_0 We then launched and started gaining speed. Then we stalled for a minute and randomly picked up speed again. That's all I remember.

Well for some reason this past week I have had pretty terrible recall and no lucids. I honestly have no idea what was causing this, but I also was struggling with waking up from the binaural beats and starting the alarm for a DEILD. Last night I was able to recall some dreams but I didn't have a lucid. THe alarm woke me up for a second though but I couldn't recall a dream at that time. Anyways, now school is starting so I am just praying that it doesn't affect my dreaming abilities because this has seriously become a pretty major hobby.

See ya.

I was in my house when i had guests i did not actually remember when they got in. They brought a pitbull a bird that could sing really well to every song, And the weirdest thing was this german shepperd cat that meow'd and barked at the same time and it sounded sooooo weird. First off i remember playing with the bird it was a small one like a parrot but when i leave it alone it turned into a pigeon (still singing) I thought it was really cool and played with it for a while it did want to go out the window becouse it was calm idk. After that i remember sitting down with the guests and there were 2 dogs i started playing with the pitbull but it was very weird becouse it wanted to bite me everytime i touch it (NOTE: it's mouth was white from the inside i thought it was normal so no biggie.) Then i told my guests that i have a shirt that has a pitbull on it and it looked very much like their's. I brought the shirt but it was old and the picture was all yellow and it was of another pitbull like an animation i did not pay much atention to it so i put it back where it was. After that there was the second dog or at least i thought it was a dog. It was actually a cat hybrid with a german shepperd it's face was very weird i couldn't even look at it from the weirdness then it made a sound some thing like a bark and a meow at the same time .

That's when i woke up and tried to remember other details about the dream without moving an inch but that was all weird as fuck i will tell you that.

I was in my living room with Henri (my cat) and Bugsy (my friend's rabbit, who I looked after for a couple weeks recently while she was away). Henri meowed, and Bugsy copied him. I thought it was really cool that a rabbit was able to mimic a cat. I looked back at Henri, but Oliver (my other cat) was there instead.

Alright..Here we go about a little nightmare-ish dream I had a few days ago.(As I said, it was a few days ago, so it is a little patchy, bear with me)

The first thing I see is this normal living room, in a nice house, in the country. The room was cool, had large front windows, except one thing: It was empty. I was standing in the middle of what I can already sense was a real old, huge house. I start hearing conversations with my mom about the house being a beautiful house, that we obviously just moved in, there were some stuff there left by the previous owner(whatever happened to them, I am scared to know...), the house was welcoming, but it didn't sit right with me. As I go looking about the home(Which was not but 3 rooms that I saw), I got more and more story about that house. The stories were unintelligible, I couldn't make out/remember what was being said, but I thought I heard a rumor about a haunting in it, maybe that's where I got the creepy feeling. Next thing I remember is it skipped a few days, and I ended up in this giant room upstairs that looks like a catholic cathedral. The issue with this room, was it was almost 100% dark, no lights. The only lights in here were light seeping in from nearby bedrooms and dim light from other invisible sources. It was enough to see barely forward, but it was pitch black at the roof.
The cathedral was beautiful, but so empty, it felt sad instead of joyful. In the center was a sink(Probably supposed to be an alter, now that I think about it) with about 3 really old china, that needed a wash. I was elected to clean them, and I was pretty much alone anyway at this point. I didn't feel threatened per se, but it was definitely creepy, as it was dark. The realtor told me as she left the room that there were these two figurines on the sink, to the right. She said if these ever, EVER look away from each other, that it would be very bad.
I stare at them the whole time I wash the dishes, and I feel more and more creeped out by them. I guess they reminded me of Weeping Angels from Doctor Who as if you stop looking at them, they move. I finished the dishes, looked away for a sec at the doorway(there were two, one went to bedroom(s), the other I have no clue), when I looked back I tripped, when I got back up the statues were looking toward me at an angle, not in a threatening way, they had no expression, but I knew I was in deep trouble. I must have bumped the sink platform thing as I tripped.
I get so filled with fear that something might happen that I start walking out, but just then, I fall over crippled with a full body numbness(I assume sleep paralysis in real life?). It lasts a few seconds, then I get over it. I run out of that cathedral, and fall in the hallway outside that had two bedrooms there. I hear the loudest, creepiest sound from the bedroom, and I can't get back up. I anticipate the worst. What comes out is this wind-up toy(You know like the little robots?) that looked like a train with a demon/dragon(couldn't tell) face on it. It reminded me of a bug as it slithered toward me, but I run down the stairs, and straight into the living room. Here I tell mom about what happened, just as another comes behind me. I stomp on it and throw it out the window, but another one is on the window. Now I fear it is a full-blown infestation. We somehow skip the night, and I go outside, screw this creepy as hell house.
What I see outside is a fresh, August, Saturday morning. What does it look like? Hundreds of tall thin trees with no leaves. It appears to be the fall season, late August maybe, and makes me even more creeped out. I ask how we leave, and I am told by helicopter. I am thinking "Okay, then we will just call them to take us away from here!". Yeah right..It is a Saturday, they refuse to fly to us on the weekends. We are trapped here. I hear a river, and I decide "Lets go to it." I forgot to mention, my bro was there with my mom in the living room the whole time in the dream. Now as we are all outside this house, the house feels like it was never there. It was a bad memory, but I never look back to see if it was still there. We find the river, and here is the sight: There is a canoe, overturned, by some boulders to the left, across the embankment(it was about 40 feet across, from where we were, to the other side), there was an American flag to the right on our side, and to me that was a good sign, at least we are in America. I climb a tree, well lets be honest, I found myself atop a tree after making the decision to be up it, and saw we were trapped on a remote island. There was no other island in sight, we were on a pretty big island, with obviously the only thing on it what I already described. I figured the canoe was our only option to do at least something. (I am now on the ground, next to mom and bro)I say "Hey, I can levitate, I will fly to the other side, get the canoe, and bring it back. I will get it to you, and we can all ride in it."
I jump into the air, and get about 5 feet until I start getting blown by the winds. I am going higher higher, lower, left, right, any direction. The wind came out of nowhere, affected only me, and I was hopeless. I finally will myself to be near the flag, I grab onto it, pull myself closer to the pole, then force myself down, shimmying to the ground. I touch ground and say, "I am never doing that again, I guess we are trapped."
The dream promptly ended.

Well, that's about it for my first dream here, I have had a few in the past, but I thought I'd share this one. It was entirely non-lucid, not entirely vivid(I couldn't feel anything aside from the flag(barely), and the numbness in the cathedral room.) but it was pretty memorable, I gotta say. This happened about a week ago, and has been on my mind ever since. It was not a nightmare, but was pretty freaky/creepy. I never had sweats, shaking, fast heartbeat, or quick awakening when I woke up.
By the way, the floating thing is a recurring theme in my dreams, which I hope to turn into a dream sign. When it happens, it happens in almost all my dreams, it is usually as I leave a building or van, I just levitate into the air, sometimes I can control it, most of the time I cannot. I try going upside down, sideways, doing different hand motions, etc to get back down..It can be scary, as I turn upside-down trying to grab a hand or roof or something to grab onto, but I am too slow and drift into the sky. Perhaps one day I can make it to automatically signal lucidity.

I've been absent from dreamviews for a while and unfortunately I've been terrible about the lucid dreaming attempts. I thought dreamviews was gone and two nights ago I randomly decided I would start dreaming again and I look on the internet and find dreamviews again. Glad to be here, on my second attempt at mastering my dreams.

#1

Me and laurens family were camping and somebody (I forgot who) was driving and I was trying to teach them how when they somehow ran into a model plane that was in the sky. We drove away as fast as we could but pretty soon we were arrested. I forget a lot of what happened when I was arrested, but soon we were released and I went back to the camper that we were staying in and lauren's dad shot me in the chest. I looked down and my shirt was off and the bullet was partially sticking out of my chest. I touched it and it started gushing blood.

Surgery

I arrived in some kind of building with avatars from dream views. I had acquired Mel's avatar some how ,except I could see it as a whole person. I also noticed a picture of a purple men with a sword, painted on the outside wall. I did an RC check and levitated. I went into the next room, telling myself a men would have passed out. There I saw a passed out men. For some reason I believed I get extra points for removing all of his organs, especially his intestines. Though it was called something else in my dream, a insestined. So I told myself by removing his organs into the air i was curing him. I grabbed a scalpel near by. It was then I felt queasy. I told myself I needed to do this task. I grimaced and used the scalpel to draw a mortitionary line on him like in a movie I saw. I cut from belly button to half way up and cut either side to form a v shape. It was a bright red line that resembled blood but didn't bleed anywhere, as though he was dead.

The Samurai

It was then the man with a sword in the picture came to life and fired gun shots at me. I dodged side to side as I yanked the men's heart, lungs, kidney and intestines out determined to get as many points as possible. I remember thinking that I might have to hide this in a spoiler tag with warnings, gruesome violence. After I yanked everything out I went to leave. I stopped realising that butchering a men doesn't count as surgery. I then used the scalpel to jam the door to keep the purple men out. The door reminded me of a butchers fridge room door all black plastic. I put all the men's organs back inside him and closed the flaps of skin. I imagined staples stapling him back together. I slapped him and waited to see if he would wake up. I heard a voice "will the men wake up we will see next week." I groaned just as I saw the men lift his head and open his eyes.

So the other day i had this dream that i was somehow working for NASA everything was so vivid and cool they told me in russian (i know its weird, i don't even speak russian) to go on top of the shuttle that it was preparing for launch as i was getting to the top many people were coming down like they were scared or something i did not care as i was on the top there were 5 people all getting ready with normal clothes not astronaut suits and were telling me to get ready for take off and get a good grip as he said it my face was something like this was i going to space like this? To my surprise the shuttle taked off without a countdown or anything everybody was excited me too of course. So this "shuttle" got pretty high and it turned into an air balloon i was feeling so happy becouse its kind of a dream of mine to get on one of these. Everybody was excited (There were like 2 guys and 2 girls and me) as we were having the time of our lives flying through countries for such a short time we flew through this poolparty were i saw a friend of mine i told them to go low and i bumped him on the head and looked at him with a smile he just told me " I will call ya tomorrow". We were going very low and we could not make it go up as it did not have the gas thingie to make it fly higher so we made some effort to make it levitate higher but nothing. We stopped for a second when a woman scientist came and upgrade it to an Air Balloon Minivan... weird as fuck so i thought it was a dream and tried to read something but there wasn't anything. So we got on the Air balloon minivan and i was the "pilot" or "driver" idk. To make it fly i had to flap my arm's like a bird and it would go up i was on the bottom of the minivan and i could pop my head through the seat to take a look at everybody as we were flying it felt awesome. We flew through this beach and saw my parents they did not seemed excited to see me on a Hot air balloon minivan i was like " Bye " and they did not say anything so i got into the van through the seat and took their laptop that i am currently writing on. When i go out i saw that they were not there so i thought what the hell NOTE: I knew it was a dream but i was too happy to make an RC becouse i did not wanted it to end as my other attempts. While going through the air someone got out of the van then everybody fallowed him i wanted to see where they were going and it was somekind of a mall i thought "Does this mall have a name?... lets see!". as i was searching for the name of the mall incripted above the front doors it was only some white smudge so i became semi lucid it was a nice feeling but immediatly i was on another beach and everybody was eating something when one of my "coleagues" said "DO IT AGAIN" and so i started flapping my arms and got higher i was getting used to it so everybody looked at my ease and applauded me and cheered from the excitetment i woke up.

I need to say that it was one of the most fun dreams i had in a while

I hardly remember the beginning of this dream. I remember being in this tundra-like place, and there was a girl with me. She reached down and touched the snow and said it felt warm (since she was from Mars, and Martian winters can reach temperatures of below -200 degrees Fahrenheit at night... I learned that last night IWL).

I don't remember how, but I somehow ended up on a beach. I have no idea what happened to that girl. Anyway, I ended up finding two turtles at some point and taking them with me. I think they were painted turtles (or something similar, at least).

I started exploring and soon came across a village full of school bus houses. That is, each house was made from a school bus. Some were red, and some were blue. I don't think there were any yellow ones, though. I thought they were really cool, since I'd never seen a school bus house before.

Later, when I was outside of the village, I noticed one of the turtles was really cold, so I wrapped it in a blanket. I asked the turtles if they wanted to go back to the water, and they said yes. There was a creek nearby, so I decided to let them go there. It was really muddy, though, and I ended up getting mud up to my knees. I decided I should find some clearer water instead. The water was a bit clearer at the end of the creek (seriously, it just ended not far away... and, no, it didn't empty into anything; it just stopped), so I went there to wash the mud off my legs.

I remembered that the water was crystal clear at the beach where I had found the turtles, so I decided to go back there to release them. I woke up before I got there, though.

Lucidity = red
Thoughts / Side notes = blue

Ship it
Something about wanting to ship 3 books at UPS. One was going to my dead grandma. I got a bag and wasn't sure what to do. The lady that worked there gave me a box. I started writing my grandma's address. It was mostly gibberish.

Myrtle Dawson
Something somenumber
box 43 31?
Smithville, TX somenumbers
County Jasper somenumbers

Meteor Shower *Non-lucid control*
I am someplace outside with my daughters. I tell my younger one to look. We see hundreds of meters streaking across the sky in all directions. I am so happy and go find my older daughter. I tell her to look. But the sky had gone cloudy. I tell the clouds to open up. They part in the middle and slide away. There is a second layer of darker clouds. I tell them to open up as well. They do. Then I think something is not right. This is odd. I think about doing an RC but then I am distracted by all the meteors and the sounds of my daughters awe and delight.( I missed a major dreamsign here. I was so close but that's ok I will LD later. I have been trying to only RC in RL when something unusuall happens. I think it's starting to get through. I have never truly RC'd in a dream.)

Road Trip
I am going on a road trip with my dad. He rented a huge tour bus for the two of us. I think it's overkill but I go along. I end up driving. I get real sleepy real fast and my dad is somewhere in the back sleeping. So, I just set the cruise control and get in the passenger seat and fall asleep.

I wake up and somehow decide it had been a hour. We are still on the road and cruising along like no big deal. I find it funny that we didn't crash but I think nothing more about it. I am a little worried about the bus now. I pull over to check the bus over and make sure we are still on track with the GPS. Everything is fine. I see a seat in the front of the bus. I sit down and notice there are triggers under each arm rest were the hands meet the end. The left is the brake and the right is the gas. I move the bus forward to the toll booth. I see a cop car coming toward the bus and I think maybe it was illegal to drive like that. I stop at the toll and quickly get back in. For some reason I sit in the passenger side like I was waiting for someone. I can see the cop at the driver side window. I move over and talk to him. He grips me out for "driving with the ballast" and "I'm just giving you a warning this time". I tell him how sorry I am and that I was just checking my GPS. He leaves.

The toll booth arm opens and we continue. I make sure to watch the back end and not hit it on the booth. Now we are on a dirt road that looks like a mud racing track. I check the GPS and we are on the right road. So, I just drive. Then there is a jump off a cliff. I see other cars racing and jumping. The bus doesn't make it. We crash and then roll over the right way. Some characters from the move Road Trip fall out. I think we must have picked them up when I was sleeping. I open the door and let them back in. My dad is awake now and he comes to the front. I start laughing and tell him, "You know what? I was asleep for an hour while the bus was on cruise control! Baahahahahahha!"

WILD fail DILD to DEILD *LUCID*
So my alarm goes off and I am too tired to get up. I lay there fall asleep for about 30min and then wake up and go ok I won't really WBTB but I can try to WILD anyway.Maybe this time I will need a mantra since I am so tired. I repeat "awareness" twice and lose awareness. LOL
I have a FA where I am lying in bed. I am holding an eraser. I just bought two black pearls the other day and it feels like that. Then it is really thin and I get mad at the girls for using it so much. I bought that stuff so I could sketch once in awhile. I get up and go to the kitchen table where they left thier black pearl. I switch them out and go back to the bedroom. (It's odd. There wasn't much visual. Mostly physical sensation. Like moving in the dark.)I decide to I need to pee. So I am standing there peeing when I dawns on me that I haven't really woken up and this is a dream! Bam! I wake up.

DIELD Blind *LUCID*
OK no big deal. I will just lie here not moving. Clear my mind like in meditation and relax.

SP sets in. I start to get excited but I tell myself to be calm. Meditate. After I chill I think about the next step. I know I am paralyzed but I worry risking trying to move. I do it anyway. I force myself to sit up. I feel my dream body rise and then slam back into SP. This time I just imagine my feet rising in the air like I did yesterday. Then imagine them slowly moving over the side of the bed to the floor. I wait until I can feel a dull pressure from the floor touching my feet. Then I just straiten the rest of my body. I move like a wet noodle until I am standing. My eyes are still closed. I can feel my real eyes still and dont want to rish opening them yet. I try to move on and forget like yesterday but I was still thinking about it.
Because I was thinking about forgetting about it, I was still thinking about it. So, the rest of the dream is all blind and mostly tactile sensations and sound. Sill a very interesting experience.
So, I make my way out of the bedroom. I am pissed I can't see. I feel the wall until there is a light switch. I flip and for a split second I thought I could see. I try again and flip it back and forth. Nothing. I walk to the front door and feel like it bark my shin on something but it didn't hurt so I just ignore it somewhat annoyed. I hear my footstep lightly on the hardwood floor. I don't want to be loud and wake anyone up. I guess I just do this by habit. I unlock the deadbolt and open it and close it. I think the storm door was missing. I am amazed because all my sense of touch and hearing was so right on perfect. Now that I am outside, I really want to see. So, I risk opening my eyes, and what I see is my blurry bedroom ceiling. DAMN! I quickly close my eyes and try to DEILD back but I am too awake now

Drawing Attack
After some time I just want to sleep and don't care about WILD or DEILD. It's take some time to relax. So, I don't know if I was dreaming or just in a state of vivid HI for this one but I'll record it anyway.

I see a woman. She is pretty and smiling at me. I try to focus on her face and it goes blurry. I think she knows me. I wonder if I am remembering a past life in this dream. She wants me to come to her but I don't move.

I look at my hands and watch how distorted and odd they look. I wonder why I never think to do this in a dream. I continue to watch fascinated.

This is probably where the HI went to NLD
There is a pencil drawing on yellow paper. It looks like Poncho Villa. I focus on the face but it gets blurry like the lady did. Then the face come to life and Poncho Villa jumps out at me. I pick up a black pearl eraser. I, say "I've got an eraser. I will erase your ass!"
He runs and hides behind the bedroom door. I see him peeing around at me. I say something else to taunt him and I wake up.

This is something I have noticed that happens a lot in my dreams. Stores and public places. I've had a lot of dreams where I'm in a store. And even more where I'm in a public area. When I was little, I still had a lot of these types of dreams, with the main focus of the dream being to just get home. Perhaps I feel lost? I dunno. This happens quite a lot still.

Well, last night was another bust, although it was more on my part. I wike up at 2:30 and got a drink. When I got back to bed I put my earbuds in, and then fell asleep without starting the second REM Cycle. *faceplam* Oh well... tonight...

Approaching the Void [Trip Report]
Salvia divinorum
Date: August 10th, 2012

Dose:
T+0:00: 1 hit, smoked, Salvia divinorum (100 mg extract)

Last night, after my parents went to bed, I decided to get out the salvia I'd been holding on to for a while now. The extract I have is standardized to contain 100 mg of salvinorin A per gram, and if you know anything about salvinorin A then you'll know that's a lot! I wanted to be cautious as it had been at least a year and a half (if not more) since the last time I smoked salvia or really did anything like it, so I loaded a very small amount of it into one of my bongs that I've found to mask the taste and (usually) harshness of just about anything very well. This is significant, because salvia tastes pretty nasty and you often need big hits to get appreciable effects out of it. After filling it with water and preparing myself, I grabbed my torch lighter and took it all in one inhale.

I've read many reports of people smoking salvia and saying they always get a slow come-up, or they gets lots of psychedelic-like visuals over reality. While salvia has given me those things before, the first time in a session always hits me like a train with no warning whatsoever, and is nothing but pure dissociative ego loss. I was sitting upright on my bed after I put the bong down, and by the time I let out the hit I was already slipping away. My first thought, which I actually voiced, was "I remember this now." I think I at least mostly understood that when I said it. There was this feeling of approaching the void that salvia always gives me, like I was about to be unplugged from reality. Of course, higher doses actually put you in the void... but that's another story. I wasn't really sure whether or not I was hallucinating at the time, but I do recall that the left door to my room closet and the front-right corner of the bed (from my perspective) had now taken on distinctly humanoid personae, and I spent the rest of the trip talking half to them and half to no one in particular. I felt that they were trying to explain the situation to me, and I responded "Oh, I guess I should wait my turn. I'm supposed to just lie down like this?", after which I knelt down forward on to the bed, not actually fully changing from my sitting position. Immediately after I shot back up and asked "Wait, I'm in control of this, right?" This was a meaningless question, my ego's last attempt to save itself. At the time I wouldn't even have been able to tell you who I was. I felt (mistakenly) affirmed that I was indeed in control, and I so I got back down and rested the side of my face on the bed. I believe I was just waiting for the trip to start (a strange sensation I often get on low doses of salvia), but then shortly afterward cognition started returning to me and I realized that it was already ending. I got up and had an increased amount of energy while walking around, and I couldn't help giving in to the strange feeling of gravity constantly pulling me to the left and ended up twirling around a bit. Shortly thereafter, I returned to full sobriety.

This trip was weak but significant because it reminded me of something that I used to know, but that had been lost to hazy memories and too much drug use: With salvia, you either go for broke or you go home. Like I said, my first time in the session is always just an experience with the void, and afterwards I tend to get more powerful sensory hallucinations. I wanted to see if I could work around that by starting small, but I forgot that not experiencing that feeling all the way just makes me not want to do it again because it feels like I'm still going to have to break through before I get to anything worthwhile, so I might as well get the discomfort out of the way in the beginning. I won't be forgetting next time.