side notes

but a post, bringing my dream journal to life.

Insomnia is striking me tonight. I slept maybe 4 hours :/ now I'm awake several hours earlier than usual, oh well. I have a dream fragment from today and one from yesterday that I didn't remember until this morning.

Dream Fragment from yesterday: I was looking for Hentai (anime porn, lol) on the internet and couldn't find what I was looking for. I think I was looking for something that had a character similar to the Red eyed guy in the dream prior to this fragment, but I couldn't find any with characters that looked like him. Not an important dream, but I'm hoping not to lose my recall and it gives this entry more length.

Dream One(Fragment): I was writing on Facebook, only my facebook looked different. Instead of a blinking line that showed me where my curser was in the text box, I had a beautiful burgundy flower with a gold outline and swirls on it. I typed something about being the queen of fairies, and how my favorite part of the job was my pretty new magic Facebook scheme. Then I went for a walk and I saw tall grass and a horse laying in it. I turned and walked away not wanting to spook the horse. Then I thought about my facebook post and wondered if my friends would think I was weird because I was a fairy now.

If I manage to get back to sleep and dream I will post more later.

So I had a nap, and it was awesome. I'll explain why after the dream:

I was at my grandma's house and leaving. I walked out the door and it was instantly in the cracked map from Call of Duty Black Ops multiplayer. I saw a helicopter overhead, and I ducked under some concrete to hide. My phone makes a little noise, and I realize I have a notification or text message. I check it, and it's a message from a facebook friend. I don't expect one from him because I sent him a message days ago and never heard back so I thought he was ignoring me. I check the message, and he's saying something about gummy bears? lol Then he tells me to drop a line and talk to him sometime. I think this is odd, but then I read that he's the one in the Helicopter and I think this is even weirder and so I am wondering if he can see me. I step out from hiding to wave at the helicopter but he's flying away. I shrug it off and start walking through town. I find myself in a mall with my kids, and I start chasing them around the mall. Someone says Stephen King is there signing books. Eventually I find a Dollar tree where everything is a dollar, and I think I want to go in so that I can get some pretty printed stationary to write notes to my BFF. I can't find what I'm looking for, and a lady stops to help me, but she has no clue what I'm trying to explain to her. Eventually I realize that this Dollar Tree doesn't have everything for a dollar, in fact everything is like thirty dollars or more and it's a complete rip off. So I thank the lady for her help and then leave with my kids. I wake up.

And when I woke up, I really did have an unexpected message from the friend. I found that strange and cooley prophetic!

Airplane 2:45a

I am working with some dude in shipping and receiving but instead of trucks, airplanes would come in at warp speed and then just instantly stop. I didn't see this. I just knew it. So the dude I was working with decides to stand as close as he could to were the airplane would come. He wanted to feel the wind rush him and show off.

I try to tell him how stupid he is but he doesn't listen. As I wait I see another airplane slowly fly by our station.

That's all I can remember.

Him 6:00a

I am at some graduation thing. I am following some guy I know but don't really like. It was more like I was obligated to be there. He is moving down a congratulatory line. I see... let's call him J. I think, "Oh yeah of course J would be here." I feel disgusted and jealous of him.

#Side Note
I had really bad restless legs from about before I could even sleep. I was in the recliner till about 2:45A. I tried to take advantage of waking up so much in the recliner by DEILD. But it only ruined my recall.

First of all I'd like to go over that I have been taking a different vitamin supplement so my dreams seem a lot clearer and vivid than usual.

I had two periods of time after falling asleep in the past week or two that stood out very much.

The first one I had was about a week ago or more.

I was supposed to get something really important accomplished in the dream. I was given the idea that this accomplishment or task was to go to the doctors/psychiatrist to get some examinations done. I was going to see Dr. Silverman who was my real life psychiatrist at one point in time, before I turned eighteen. I had some imaginary friends who seemed to have there own presence within the dream with me. Nobody could see them.

The dream became vivid once I was in the office. It was like a corporate business office where the have huge offices. I was then told by one of my fake friends that Silverman was evil and that he was doing me no good by giving me advice about my mental illness or whatever I was in the office for.

I then took this to the next level by running up to a higher level in the building, It happened to be that I wasn't just in the hands of an evil apprentice who was my psychiatrist but also I was being followed. I kept running when I stopped at this weird architecture on the top floor. It was built in a way where there were walkways against the wall and railing, there were also ramps and coves. It was like a playhouse but it was used for adult purposes such as banking or meetings. I was up on this floor and huddled in a corner with a bunch of people who seemed real to me but I wasn't quite sure that within the dream if they were even real. We were huddled against the corner when something stuck upwards through the bottom floor through a wall on the floor i was on.

Then I was looking at a little girl in a picture that looked awfully familiar. I then heard a little girl's voice say something like "well, I believe in Santa clause..." and then there was laughter and cheers of little kids. Weird...


The next dream I had was last night.

I was at my grandmother's old house that we have not lived in for about a decade. We were in this house and it was the holidays. It was like I was having a past dream about memories in this house except that people who weren't even born yet during that time represented themselves in this dream as if I was being psychic about there existence.

There was also some family situation going on where one of my aunts who is known to steal or be deceiving was making up bullcrap in the dream. Nobody seemed to notice but me that she wasn't a bad person but because of the past and what her parent's let her do she was the way she was. Note **** I think I was thinking about this in real life one day

The first thing that happened was that I was in a movie theater viewing a film with a few people that I seemed to know but never met before. The movie seemed fiction but it seemed to real and people were questioning if the people on film where real people. Somehow this was not just a movie to me and what I was seeing was weird Anamorphic creatures who had human personalities on stage asking the audience if they were real or fake because they couldn't tell either. I got frightened and started to run away and then realized everyone else was running too and then there were only like three people left in the audience. I finally got out and realized everyone had left in a hurry because even the theater outside at the concession was empty. Knowing that something was not right this Asian girl appeared to me she started to drive me home. The part where I went from the movie theater to the car happened too fast to really know what was going on. She was driving me home and we got home rather fast. I noticed the house looked nothing like mine and it looked kind of old school. I told her this house was not mine and she said "okay" and drove away mindlessly with me. Something then happened to where it was the Christmas season and I was lost. It was like the whole dream changed but I was still in the past dream so I was trying to connect dreams in a way. Something happened to where snow was piled in on a toddler in a car and we had to get it out. we got it out but then there were these people who decided to take kids from the neighborhood and keep them from their parents. There was people standing in a hallway which seemed to be a street too with all there Christmas gifts from that season. Nobody knew what was going on so everyone mindlessly followed orders. It turned out that the people who took our kids were taking us against our will and taking all our things from us and our children. It was kind of like the holocaust. I ended up running away.

It would seem as though I've been traveling in my dreams as of late. Anyways, here we go.

-My Trip to Italy-

Using the same method I used to get to Japan in my dream previous, going on a plane that had opening sides, we made a surprise visit to supposed Italy. I myself have never actually been to Italy before, but it didn't really look anything like Italy, but more like some place I'd find a few miles from where I live now. A good point of interest was this field that was large and had a lot of dead trees in it. It had dry grass on most of the area, and it was quite relaxing to look at. Other than that, I saw a lot of my friends in this area. I didn't quite get how me, my brother and my friends could be in the same exact part of Italy at the same time. It seems preposterous now that I think of it. Our hotel room was small and overlooked the same area that we landed from the plane. I don't remember doing much other than walking up and down the streets of Italy, and maybe some shopping in-between, though that's a maybe. My dream ended without me leaving the area, it would seem.

In my first dream last night, I was playing a Zelda game on the Wii. I don't know what game it was; it wasn't one that actually exists. When I say "playing", I mean I was watching the game from a third-person point of view (so my entire field of vision was what was displayed on the screen), but I was still aware that I was using a Wii remote (this is similar to how I usually play video games in dreams, except I'm not usually aware of the controller).

Anyway, I remember Link being able to shrink down (and return to normal size) at will, like in Minish Cap, except he could do it anywhere. I (remember, I'm playing the game and, therefore, controlling Link) used that to get into this building where I was in this room full of people.

Suddenly, I was actually in the game myself! And, no, I wasn't Link (I have no idea what happened to him); I was myself. I had to play Epona's Song on the ocarina for some reason. Strangely, though this seemed normal at the time, instead of covering the holes and blowing into the ocarina, I had to press buttons to play the notes. For some reason, I kept trying to play the notes for Saria's Song (though I thought I was trying to play Epona's Song), but I kept messing up.

This man approached me and I told him that I couldn't seem to get the notes right. We ended up talking about Legend of Zelda for a little while (he was a Zelda fan, too), and I forgot about the ocarina entirely. Soon, I saw my parents arrive, so I said goodbye and told him I enjoyed talking with him, then I left with my parents.

Next thing I knew, we were driving through the village where I live (well, I actually live in a town just outside of the village itself, but I used to live in the village). The man was in the car with us, which was unexpected, since I'd said goodbye to him and left. Anyway, we were driving along South Main Street, going past the power substation, with the bridge just up ahead. It didn't occur to me in the dream, but my mom may have been driving us to our old house (where I lived until I was seven), as that was literally just a few houses away. The dream ended before we got close enough to see our house, though.

(Note: I'm sure that bridge will forever remain in my memory, along with the "beep beep" of reversing trailer trucks. You see, the bridge could be seen from my old house. Even though there was a warning sign stating the height limit, many truck drivers would ignore the sign and try to drive under the bridge anyway... which usually resulted in them subsequently getting stuck under it. This, of course, was followed by the high-pitched beeping as they reversed out to take a detour. I lived in that house until I was seven (or eight, maybe; I can't remember exactly), and I have seen many trucks get stuck under that bridge.)

I woke up after that and decided to try DEILD. I quickly felt myself being pulled into another dream. Unfortunately, even though I know I'm not supposed to move during DEILD, my half-asleep brain decided it would be perfectly okay to roll over as long as I didn't get up. That completely ruined my DEILD attempt.

I quickly went back to sleep anyway and had another non-lucid dream. In this dream, I was with my friend Lizz. We were in her backyard, but it didn't look like her backyard - or anywhere I'd recognize, for that matter - in real life. So there we were, as well as three little girls, around seven or eight years old. I can't remember who the girls were, but I have a feeling the group may have included her little sister and/or some of the girls around that age at my church.

Anyway, we were in "teams" (i.e., Lizz and I vs. the other girls), and each time had a "fort". Our fort was "defensive", as it was a shed with a wire fence around it. The girls' fort was "fun", as it was a colourful playground set with a treehouse (i.e., a swingset and slide with an attached treehouse). I'm guessing the "forts" were for some kind of game, though the dream skipped ahead to the next morning before anything much really happened.

I'd apparently spent the night at her house, since I was still there the next morning. We went to the dining room (again, it looked different than it does IRL) for breakfast. She started asking me what I thought about some video game that she'd assumed I'd played (I forgot the name of it, though). When I told her I hadn't played it, she decided to show it to me.

I guess the dream ended before she had a chance to show me, since the next thing I remember is from the next dream. I was playing the "drums", though it actually looked like a keyboard (a piano keyboard, not a computer keyboard), not a drum kit. For some reason, the drumsticks I was using were short and made of black plastic. I think the "drums" may have actually been a keyboard, as I had to set it to 101 (first percussion setting on a MIDI keyboard) to get the right sounds.

The next thing I knew, I was at home, and my parents were there. I put the drumsticks down on the table. It turned out I was supposed to have three more (I only had two), so I had to go outside to find the rest. Instead of just three, I ended up finding a lot more and setting them all down on the table.

-The Problem With Driving-

This dream's origin is seemingly lacking in my inner-most memory, though what I do remember is being high up in the mountains. It was dry up there, little plant life and mostly rock and dirt, some grass here and thee. The sky was purple and somewhat cloudy, though it was not the kind of purple one might see at a late sunset hour. It was fantastic, strange and perplexing, yet so informal in my vision. I also hated it. I hated the feeling around me. To add to my hatred of such an area, my dad forced me to drive up there with his car. We were ment to be going to somre museum or observatory or something, something in the mountains. Once we arrived, it was a picnic area. Kids played around on a grassy little field with a picnic table in the center. He told me to drive home. With my lack of experience, I was shooting in the wind now. So, I drove down. I kept trying to dodge small poles along a sort of pathway that I was required to go down to get home, but this pathway wasn't even on the road. In due time, I hit one of the poles and left a nervingly sized dent in the side door. I went down into a tunnel, nervous my dad would find out, and speak of the devil he was suddenly sitting right next to me in the car. I snapped, then said I'll get home myself. I got out, the tunnel being a orange-purple hue of light. In my hands, I suddenly had a scooter, and I hate scooters, but I was masterful at riding them in this dream. I took a final look back at the car, the black scion with a dent of a white color on the right side of the car. I scooted off, and that was how it ended.

Notes: This reminds me of situation not long back where I had to drive up a hill with many turnpikes.

Last night I don't know what heppened. All I know is that I woke up to delta waves and the alpha waves never woke me up the second time for some reason. Anywyas, I didn't start the alarm or have and dreams I can really remember.

8:30 - OJ, Apple Juice, Milk. Watched a movie instead of shooting hoops (maybe that was my problem???)
10:00 - Get ready for bed
11:00 - Vitamins with glass of water
11:15 - Go to sleep with binaural beats
2:30 - Wake up to alpha waves, then start the second cycle
7:00 - Get up after waking from alpha waves

Well, last night didn't go so well. I am going to try and go to bed an hour early just to mix things up and see what happens.

See ya!

I went to bed around midnight (kinda late for me) and woke up at some point during the night due to a thunderstorm. I fell back asleep not long after it passed and had the first dream I remember from last night. It was about the Doctor (the Eleventh Doctor, to be specific). I was watching in third-person, by the way. Anyway, he went into this weird, cartoon-like place. It became realistic fairly quickly, and then there was some epic battle I can barely recall between the Doctor and some guy I'm assuming was a bad guy.

I woke up again at 6:30 and decided to go back to sleep. This time, I dreamed that I WAS the Doctor... and I was just outside at my church. I went around to the side of the building (which is actually my friend's backyard; she's the pastor's daughter and lives next door to the church. Their backyard essentially doubles as church property) to find the TARDIS and Amy Pond. I found the TARDIS right where I expected and entered it. Unlike on the show, it was NOT bigger on the inside. Anyway, for some reason, I got mad at Amy (who had apparently been allowed to fly the TARDIS) for leaving it out in the rain (I'm not sure why; besides, it was barely even raining).

(It's not really surprising my mind would dream up something like that, seeing as I went to church yesterday and then watched Doctor Who later. Well, it is a bit odd that I was the Doctor, though... I'm almost ALWAYS myself in dreams.)

I woke up to find it was only 6:45. I drifted off to sleep yet again and woke up without recalling any dreams... or so I thought. I noticed a big Pikachu bead sprite on my wall and couldn't remember it ever being there, so I looked at my hand to see if I was dreaming. I counted five fingers, concluded that I wasn't dreaming, and picked up my iPod to check the time. Well, whatever the time was, it wasn't 103:53. Now, I knew I that I WAS dreaming after all. After the two attempts it took to unlock my iPod (it glitched up the first time), I noticed that I had some apps I don't have in real life as well as a different background. The background was bright orange. Upon closer inspection, I realized it had a picture with rather a lot of text over the top (also in orange, but in a different shade). I tried to read what it said but discovered that it was all in gibberish.

I put my iPod down and sat up, ready to try some dream control. Despite having full (or, at the very least, a lot of) control over myself, it didn't occur to me at the time that I had immediate LD goals (i.e., completing the TOTM and meeting my dream guide), so I just decided to do the first thing that came to mind. I closed my eyes. 'When I open my eyes, I will be in... Skyloft!' I thought to myself, naming the first fictional place that came to mind. I opened my eyes, a bit disappointed that I was still in my room.

I remembered that some people unintentionally wake up when they close their eyes, so I checked my iPod again to make sure I was still dreaming. It still said the time was 103:53. I was still dreaming. Being one who likes to sleep in in the mornings, I laid back down and closed my eyes, finding myself back in reality shortly after.

Well, last night was fairly typical.

8:30 - OJ, Apple Juice, milk. GO shoot hoops
10:00 - Come back in and get ready for bed
10:30 - Vitamins with glass of water
11:15 - Go to sleep with binaural beats
2:30 - Wake up first time and begin second sleep cycle
5:00 - Wake up after second sleep cycle and start alarm
5:15 - Wake up to alarm and go back to sleep
7:00 - Get up

I am not really sure what happened to the second alarm. I was having a dream that I could of re-entered for a WILD had it woken me up but for some reason I only remember it going off once. I think I must of rolled over and my earbds came out. Oh well, tonight I shal have another lucid dream!!!!

See ya!

Sooo after a couple of hours trying to WILD for the first time i managed to fall asleep. I woke up a couple of hours later unintentionally, and tried to WILD again. I couldn't remember anything from the first couple of hours. When i woke up in the morning i couldn't remember any dreams then either. Later on in the day however, when seeing a picture of stephinie, it reminded me that she was in it. I was at my sisters graduation, or at least the place that it was held, and i was with stephinie and her friends. She asked if she could sit with me or vis verse (not sure) so we sat down together around a large table with a white tablecloth. next thing i remember she tightly grabbed my inner thigh, hinting something i'm sure I'm not sure what happened next, but i remember seeing her back at the table while i was lying on my side from across the room. we were both watching something or someone, maybe giving a speech. I thought to myself that i wish i didn't leave her. I quite enjoyed her company..

I'm sure I could remember three dreams when I woke up. I can only remember two now, though. I haven't even been up long. Oh well.

Anyway, on to the first one! I was on some sort of "mission" that involved me walking to Montreal and back. That's all it was. It supposedly wasn't far if I just went in a straight line. I went outside and followed a gravel path that went through my backyard (even though the path doesn't exist in real life). At one point, I fell and scraped my knee, and it actually did hurt a little. I got up and kept going. I went as far to where I was about parallel with the edge of the neighbors' yard, figured that was close enough, and went back. It turned out I hadn't gone far enough.

Anyway, when I came back, I was in some public bathroom instead of my house. There was a girl there (who I apparently knew somehow) who looked like my friend Libby (she wasn't her, though) but acted more like me. She didn't seem to like me for some reason.

(I'm not entirely sure how far Montreal is from here, but it's definitely not close. I'd imagine it'd take several hours by car, though. It's also roughly northeast, not directly east, and you can't get there by just going in a straight line from here unless you plan on crossing Lake Ontario somehow.)

In the other dream, I went to the local high school to find two of my friends, Giana and Emma, who I thought were outside the school (none of us go to that school IRL, though). They weren't there, and then I remembered they were at the elementary school. I ran along a path (which, like the path in the other dream, doesn't exist in real life) to get to the elementary school. I found them in a tent outside. I went in the tent and found that they were playing with Barbies, so I was a bit disappointed because I didn't want to play Barbies with them. Then, they left the tent, but I had to stay inside because the tent was really light and would blow away in the wind if nobody was inside it to weigh it down.

(Note: aside from the setting, this is actually pretty normal, which is probably why I didn't acknowledge that I was dreaming. We all go to the same church, and we tend to gravitate toward each other after getting our food after the service. Sometimes (not usually), I'll find them playing with Barbies (they're a few years younger than me), which tends to be disappointing for me, as I've outgrown them and they apparently haven't. Usually, though, we either just chat or play something we all enjoy.)

22.07.2012

idiot with a rifle (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm 27 and I have high blood pressure. Realy high. It's not because I'm fat our out of shape, it's a result of bad genes. A long history of heart problems in the family. Among other things that is. If you didn't know one of the weird side effects of having really high blood pressure is that your short term memory starts to fail you. On the other side of the coin your long term memory can become crystal clear.

This is an odd thing but something I'm still dealing with. One of the main problems I have is that I remember my dreams, all of them. Every blurry little detail is permanently etched into my brain. It would be fine if all I ever had where happy little dreams about flying or something typical. But I never do, I always have what most would call nightmares. They seem to last hours and can be quiet chaotic at times. The dreams are quiet lucid, I'm aware its a dream but i go along with whats happening anyway and in some cases get sucked into the role. unlike most who become aware its a dream. Its very apparent to me right away. I don't get scared by these dreams. I used to have nightmares and be frightened but one summer i had a months worth of night terrors. Zombies being the main problem that bothered me. After a while I just stopped being scared like that part of me had finally died of a stroke.

the following dream Wasn't particularly scary but sets as a small example of how things move in my dreams. I'll start with it since it was the dream I had last time i was asleep.

i was standing in a wooded area. Maybe the edge of a golf course or a heavily wooded park outside of a small town. It had to be some time after noon. Standing to my right was a guy in a baseball cap wearing a wife beater shirt, jeans, and boots. He was really thin and reminded me of a typical redneck. In front of me were two guys both in t-shirts one in shorts the other in jeans. Both of them were on the heavy side. behind them was a red van of some sort. and I assume to the left of them was a white car. After thinking for a while now one of the two guys in front of me must of been a friend of mine by the name of Chucky. Since it was his car I recalled. We were there to meet with them and were just talking or hanging out.

Suddenly this loud nose came from behind me, a crash or a thud. I saw myself look over my own shoulder for some reason in a 3rd person view. Instead of seeing what made the noise I could only see my self looking puzzled. At the time i wasn't even paying much attention to how i was not looking directly behind me but more up then anything. the two guys in front of me made a quick dash to the left for there car while the guy next to me and I ran for the red van.

I got in the driver seat (something that is odd since i hate driving and never got my license). I put the van in reverse, moved back, and then drove forward down the pathway. I drove like mad. The trees flew past me in a blur. The guy in the passenger seat was saying something i could hear. I was too lost in trying to get out of there. And then a thud and it went black.

It only lasted a moment and then everything rewound like an old VHS tape. We hurriedly moved in reverse back to loud noise that sent us running. When it came back to normal time we were off again running for the vehicles. This time I threw the van in reverse and we both looked backwards as I drove that way the entire time. When we hit the road in town I spun us around and took off threw a quiet neighborhood.

I swerved into a drive way with the garage door open and pulled in. I got out of the car and more subtle crashes could be heard in the distance. i got out of the van and went around to the other side. Me and that guy slowly walked out from under the shade of the garage door. People had left there homes all of them gathering in the middle of the street looking up over the houses.

I saw myself in 3rd person again still unable to tell what every one was looking at. Even my dream self could see what was causing all the sound when i could not. Back in my body I noticed to my left a man had come out of his house holding a rifle by the barrel. As if he planned to use it until he saw what was making the noise. too stunned to hold the gun properly he just loosely held onto its muzzle. The guy i was with must of saw this too as he quickly ran over grabbed rifle away from him and walked back to where he was standing. As he did he was inspecting the gun before quickly raising it up to aim drastically.

I remember this shocked me and made me very mad. tho I'm not sure why exactly. I had this sense that what he was doing was extremely stupid and careless. Not because he could injure himself or some one else either.

It became very clear all at once. like slow motion i was staring at him as i was starting to yell under my breath at him. I slowly turned my head to the noise and I saw it. with my own eyes I saw it. bigger then the houses. Bigger then the trees. Bigger then a building. A giant creature covered in an exoskeleton like a crab walking on six pointed legs but upright like a human with long thin lobster like arms. it was so large and in the distance that i couldn't even make out the color of it. It just appeared as a gray blur like a shadow puppet on a wall. its heads just under the clouds as lighting struck around it.

That's when i realized what i was yelling at him. I said "you idiot!!! even if you mange to hit it from this distance, all you'll be doing is alerting of a free food source" I grabbed the barrel of the rifle and pointed to all the people standing around dazed and shocked at what they were seeing.

then I woke up...

I drew a sketch of it but Photoshop squashed it for some reason.

well I'm sorry I haven't been on. I've been on vacation.
Right now I'm lying in bed trying to go back to sleep. I woke up cuz of my nightmare.
it was about these brothers who lured people to them nd then they'd torture nd kill them. It was awful. But I woke up nd I'm glad. Jus hope I don't fall back.asleep back to tht dream. Ha. Well I was looking online about disorders tht cause nightmares nd I saw on tht said restless leg syndrome. Well I think I may have tht. I move my leg constantly nd its mostly my ankle tht I move. I do it cuz I feel uncomfortable if I don't. I mean I don't quite understand how tht would even help produce nightmares.

Well, last night nothing really interesting happened. We had some guests over so I missed out on my nightly routine and got to bed about 11:30.

10:30 - Get ready for bed
11:00 Vitamins with glass of water
11:30 - Go to bed with binaural beats.
7:00 - Get up

So last night I guess my earbdus fell out because I never woke up once. The first thing I remember is getting up in the morning and my mp3 player was laying on the floor. lol.
Well, at least tonight I will have another lucid hopefully/

See ya!