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Looks like i have a good candidate for the "stupidest ways you failed to get lucid" thread.

WBTB INC R&D meeting

I am working for a company that's making a brand of lucid dreaming apparel. I was looking at the prototype for a wbtb pj shirt in a board room. We are sitting around a round table and looking at a powerpoint presentation on marketing and design of our new apparel. It's white with our logo and long sleeves with vibration cuffs to wake you up after a certain number of hours. It also can detect the presence of rem sleep and will hit you with the 40hz that bring on lucid dreams. I remember being excited to be a part of the team to bring this to market.

lucidity training session.

I am in a endless dark empty room with an older British white man with a beard. There is a single source of illumination from above that covers us and about a ten foot radius around us. we are standing about five feet apart. He is giving me lessons in lucidity dream techniques. He is lecturing on methods of stabilization and different ways to do dream manipulation. At different times I know that this is either Robert Waggoner or Obi Wan Kenobi.
…

Had this Lucid Dream last night. For some reason I acted really dumb when I woke up from it and decided to fall back asleep without writing it down so my recall kinda sucks

Lucidity: 7/10
Control: 7.5/10
Vivacity: 8/10

I am lucid in a next-to-empty, grayish room. Sitting on a lone couch are two friends of mine; they are talking about super powers and how cool they are. Behind this couch lays a window which shows a gray, stormy sky. There are, to my right, a bunch of magazines and books scattered in a pile on the wooden floor.
"Aren't you a lucid dreamer, [Higat] ?" one of the two says. She thinks that lucid dreaming somehow equates to super powers IWL. I answer that I am. She asks me what I can do.
"Watch.." I say in a deep voice.
I extend my arm towards one of the books on the floor. I barely have to focus on it; I just have to give it a little "telekinesis notch" and it comes rushing towards my hand. I intended to have it levitate there but it goes faster than I meant; I catch it in the fly.
"This, is telekinesis." I see them surprised, kind of like they just saw a cool magic trick.
I toss the book down and raise both of my hands in the air, levitating every book in the room. Again it feels excessively easy.
"This is telekinesis !" I say, almost like a mantra.
I let the books fall, turn around and raise my hands to my hips, pulling myself a meter or so above the ground. I let my fall back down, turn around again and swing both my arms up to lift the couch in the air. I bring it in front of me.
"This is Telekinesis." I see my friend's faces as I bring them down to the ground. They look like one would when they realize that they are dreaming.
At this point my memory fades. I think that I busted through the door that was behind me and... took off flying? I'm not too sure.

I was dreaming of one of my old OCs, a villain named Charles Kid. He was a cybernetic human-cat hybrid who was always trying to take over the world with your classic over-the-top villain schemes.



An old drawing of this character. I mean like OLD OLD, like 2011 OLD

I think the dream was taking place at Doofenshmertz Evil Inc from Phineas and Ferb. Though it felt like we were at ground level...

He had just invented these new devices. They were little cuffs with rockets on them that would fly onto people and the rockets would fire out of them to control where the person went.

Charles was planning to release a virus that would turn all of the humans in the world into monsters or kill them or both. He asked (well, forced rather) his assistant, a character who I did not create, a boy named Gregor to build his evil virus-releasing device. I remember him saying to Gregor that "It's just a simple turbine generator... shouldn't be hard for you..." Gregor was a genius boy of about 15 with curly brown hair.

Gregor was his captured slave and somehow important to the plot. At first, he refused to build the virus turbine for him, but Charles sent some of the cuffs onto his hands and the rockets fired and slammed him into a wall. He then shocked him with the cuffs and told him to get building right away.

Then, like something out a comic book, Myself, Manei and Marcus busted through the wall of his lair. (The more I think about it, the whole dream kind of looked like it was an animation.) Charles tried to sent the flying rocket cuffs to capture us. Marcus pulled out guns and shot them out of the air. He then distracted us by sending some of his robots (something he did have when I wrote his character) to attack and put more cuffs on us when we were distracted.

I remember the last scene where he used the rockets to pin Manei and Marcus to a wall. He put a second set of cuffs around their legs. Then the cuffs in on my arms somehow activated the hidden blades I have in my wristbands. (How did he even know about those?) The rockets on the cuffs started pulling me toward my friends.

I yelled "Stop!" and the dream ended.

That character wasn't nearly so dark and twisted when I wrote him back a few years ago...

Hello, my name is lizzie. Okay....

I had this dream about a guy, who I never get his name but he's always there. I might be dreaming of something else but he shows up and we talk. I wake up thinking who is he, why is he there, and if maybe I'll meet him. However it goes away fast. Though the last dream I had, I felt him looking for me in my dream, there was chaos all around me and me running away. Till I found him and he just hugged me and ran away together. Somewhere in my dream things happened that something was making us separate us and him yelling, "I'll will always find you. Always Liz"
It warmed my heart and woked up, thinking why I dreamt about him so many times continuously. Makes me wonder, if I'll ever meet him.

All night, I dreamed of torturing the guy responsible for getting me fired, by design. I incubated this dream as I fell asleep, and sustained my focus for the majority of the night.

This wasn't subconscious expressing it's self. I knew what I was doing, I knew it was a dream, I knew he wasn't real, yet I hoped that I could reach him somehow, like a voodoo doll.
Wish there was a way to check if I got through to him or not.

Some man and I don't know who it was, persuaded my mom and me to go on a "hike" which was more like an endurance obstacle course that was extremely risky. It included some slides and stairs which were ok. But finally there was the part that involved moving along the upper age of a steep tall cliff hanging on by the hands mostly without any safety gear. If we fell we could die. I am surprised that we agreed to do it. I am even more surprised that I was not even all that scared - I have fear of heights in waking life. At some point my iPhone fell, but I held on. I successfully made it to an easier path that led to the end. And I realized that we could have taken the easy path all along. But I did not mind. We did it! My iPhone screen was thoroughly shattered and there was liquid there - strangely it still kind of worked but almost impossible to see the contents of the screen. Back at home I asked my husband if I could have a new iPhone, and he said where will you get $15 million dollars from that is how much a new iPhone costs. I said I don't need the newest model, but just the oldest model that is still available in retail with a plan, and he said then of course I can have one. I said, but we will also need to buy a used iPod for our older son, because he was waiting to get my old phone and now he won't because it is too broken.

My mom had some elaborate plan to invite neighbors over, and she set up a pot of hot chocolate at the front gate into our yard and another pot of hot chocolate at our door (in reality our front yard is not even gated). I expressed scepticism over this elaborate plan, wondering what it was about. I thought that the neighbors would likely stumble and fall into the hot chocolate at the gate, and then stumble and fall into the hot chocolate again at the front door. My mom explained that she really just wanted to invite neighbors to bike with our boys. I objected because homework was not done. My older son reminded me that biking or being outside in nice whether is an exception to our rule that homework needs to be done before play, and it is true - I don't know why I objected in the dream. I relented and agreed.

Avoiding The Neighbor
I'm walking home from around Daryl's old area, clairmont. I think I get offered a lift from the girl next door, or maybe I just avoid her from seeing me, not sure. As I'm riding home on my bike, it's night time. I see the girl next door driving my way, so I quickly get off my bike and lay down near a fence to try and avoid her seeing me. I believe this worked. I do this cause I'm shy.

I'm in a house now. I forget why and what I was doing in there.

-Dream 1
I dreamed my face was getting really long and fat.

-Dream 2
I dreamed I was sitting down at some table. I jokingly sat down at the spot with a name card labeled "God". My bro G sat at the one labeled "Jesus".

I was outside on a strange creepy looking farm property. It's nighttime and I'm all alone. I'm standing by a fence about 300 yards from a house. The environment was definitely set up like it should have been a nightmare but I never felt panic or fear throughout this dream.

A small creature the size of a large rat runs by me. It looked like a cooked buffalo wing or something. I grabbed a fishing pole and smashed it to death. One or two more ran out and I smashed them too.

A larger animal the size of a raccoon runs out. It looks like a fox with a monkey face. I take the pole and slap it to death. It took a lot of hits to kill.

Finally a large animal that looked like a mountain lion runs at me. I took the pole and kept swinging and swinging and hitting and hitting it until it retreated. It took human form and was injured.

I was planning on doing a wbtb and then lding for the totm, but I got the ld before the wbtb.

A very long dream where me and mom go from tasting food at some fancy restaurant to running away from street thugs in a nasty area. The dream covered a great deal of distance by foot. At some point towards obviously the end of the REM, my awareness goes up and I have a moment of clarity. I remember the totm and actually also a moment before all the running away and eating that was also lucid and I did a quick tree climb there as well but a short one before losing lucidity. We are in the streets of this South African town and I am excited about exploring, thinking I can do the task of the month later as I feel I have plenty of time. Still, I decide to give it a try now rather than later. There is a tree right in front of me, and while holding something in one hand, I use the other to climb up the tree. It is very easy to do, which feels weird and cool at the same time. As I focus on the tree, couple more branches appear and I wonder would this turn into an endless climbing. Luckily, the tree height stops to extend beyond and I finally reach its top. I remind myself to have a look at the surroundings, checking out the streets below, the buildings ahead and what looks like a small park in between. At this point, the dream ends rather unexpectedly.

Ritual: I haven't let myself get bothered by my dry spell of the last few weeks, since it was easily attributable to lack of motivation and practice. My work life has been much more relaxed, so I think dreaming has been less psychologically necessary. I'm starting to observe a consistent pattern where I get lucid more frequently and intensely at times when I am under the most stress in waking life. I always think I'll have more time to work on dreaming when that stress disappears, but usually I find my motivation disappears along with it. I think this is because when I have more free time, I indulge in other kinds of experiences that satisfy my mind in a way similar to dreaming: films, books, and especially computer games.

Recently I started getting irritated with the bad dream recall and lack of lucidity, and decided to put more work into it. I did a few WILD attempts where my inability to count much higher than ten revealed my lack of mental focus and clarity, and they went nowhere. Today I found myself wide awake after sleeping four hours, a perfect WBTB, so I decided to try again. I didn't want to take any active supplements (alpha-gpc, galantamine, or piracetam), but I also didn't want to miss out on the placebo effect and reifying of intentions that might be gained from swallowing something, so I took a few tablets of bacopa and one of NAC. For good measure I also strapped on my MotivAider, set to 45 minutes, then lay down to do some counting. My focus was still crap.

I was not fully asleep yet when I felt the first pulse of the MotivAider, however it roused me enough that I noticed I was seeing some really amazing hypnagogic patterns. This is the first time I've experienced such distinctly geometric and symmetrical patterns in the hypnagogic state. I got up to use the bathroom and was amazed at the way the patterns persisted every time I closed my eyes, moving and transforming. I was tempted to wake up more fully to sketch them, but realized I could make better use of this state, so I preserved it and kept watching the imagery as I lay back down in bed.

I decided to skip the counting this time and work directly on tactile sensations. I concentrated on trying to move the dream body without activating my real one, and there was that inevitable ambiguity at first, but then I reached up to touch my face and I was pretty sure it was my dream arm that did it. I felt around my mouth with my tongue and was sure of it: the taste in my mouth felt too flat, too muted, to even be the normal background mouth-taste that we typically overlook. When I was confident that I had integrated into the dream body, I got up into my bedroom.

WILD, "Reflections / Zznvogayi": It is my first time getting lucid this month, so I decide to try a TOTM. The mirror task is convenient, since there are large mirrored sliding closet doors only steps away from my bed. I walk over and stand in front of one. At first I think the reflection bears a close resemblance to me, only with fuller cheeks and smaller eyes. But rapidly these features grow more exaggerated until they no longer look like me at all: the face is horribly bloated and the eyes have all but vanished beneath the puffy surrounding tissue. I recognize this as DR: I've been reading Gyo, a horror manga by Junji Ito, and it's full of faces like this. I force myself to keep watching as the image becomes more and more hideous, as though it is deliberately trying to unnerve me, but I remain calm and at last it vanishes.

It seems like the show is over, but the TOTM instructions were to keep looking as long as you can, so I continue watching the mirror. For a while it shows no reflection at all, just an empty dark space. Then a new reflection appears. This woman is beautiful, elegantly dressed in an archaic ballgown. I note that the bottom of her dress expands into almost a full half-sphere, and recall that this style was characteristic of the 1850s. I look up toward her face, but even though the expansive bottom of her dress is brightly illuminated, her entire upper body is in deep shadow and I can make out nothing but the silhouette of an appealingly slender torso. I keep staring until finally a tinge of light illuminates the lower curve of a shapely breast. I never do see the rest of her. As I continue watching, she is replaced by a male figure. I have the impression of a hairy man in rough clothing or primitive furs, but already the dream is deconstructing itself around me and when it stabilizes I am in another place entirely.

I find myself at the top of stairs leading down through water and rockery, landscaping that reminds me of a Chinese garden, though the buildings on all sides look contemporary. I wander down the stairs wondering what to do next. In late May I finally started playing Dragon Age: Inquisition, and was delighted to discover that one of the core characters is a lucid dreamer. This gives me the idea to try to summon him. Summoning people, historical or fictional (I rarely attempt it with WL people because I feel like it would be rude to deal with their doppelgangers), has always been my weakest area of dream control, but I'm determined to make it work. At first I hope to recognize the character among random DCs passing by, but don't see any likely candidates. Then I notice that at the bottom of the stairs is a large cafe, with a number of tables clustered in a semi-interior space with no front wall. This gives me an idea.

The cafe is organized enough to have a hostess desk, so I approach the two women working there and tell them, "There's someone waiting for me." When they ask his name, I say "Solas." One of the women acknowledges that he is here, and tells me to follow her. Oh my, is my trick actually working? I worry that I might get too excited over the prospect of success and destabilize the dream, and of course even that thought comes dangerously close to doing so, but I quell it and force myself to keep going along with the events I've set in motion, despite my impatience. So I follow the hostess, who leads me among the small circular tables toward one where a man is sitting by himself. I squint at him, trying to figure out if he really looks like Solas. Not so much: his face is thin enough but the features aren't right, and his skin has an odd greenish cast. I do my best to will his appearance into a better fit with my expectations, but this doesn't work. Oh well, appearances aren't everything. Maybe at least he'll identify as the character?

I sit down at the table and say, "Are you Solas?" He confirms that he is not. I don't remember our conversation clearly, but I recall being impressed with this DC's confidence and sense of his own identity. He seemed to find my questions foolish or nonsensical whenever I attempted to steer him toward my own ideas of how the scene should play out. For instance, when I asked something like "Are you from Thedas?" he replied emphatically, "I am from here." Still trying to keep up with the DA:I theme, I asked, "Is this the Fade?" I seem to recall he had an interesting answer to that, but I've unfortunately forgotten it.

At some point either I ask for his name or he volunteers it... and it is both odd and unfamiliar. I repeat what I think I've heard: "Vinyogi?" He shakes his head and says it again. This time I can make out that there are four syllables, with the emphasis on the second. "Zunvogayi?" I have to try several times before he's happy with my pronunciation, but it sounded something like that. I ask how to spell it, thinking this will help me remember it better, and he explains that the first syllable is spelled 'Zzn', but clarifies that the second 'z' functions as a 'u'. He gets up to leave and I follow, badgering him about how to spell the rest of it. He asks why I want to know, which I realize is a reasonable suspicion. I try to come up with an explanation that will sound bland and plausible without mentioning that I'm dreaming this, so I say something lame along the lines of, "I like to keep records of my activities."

Outside the cafe we head left down a path and then turn to the right, where some DCs are gathered looking at a long thin object resembling a small oar that is attached to a wall with a number on the paddle end. From their conversation I gather that it is a house number, and possibly they are trying to figure out if they should proceed with some kind of heist. Zznvogayi pulls out some cards and lays down four of them as though doing a divination. There are words and pictures on the cards, but they don't make sense to me. From what I can tell, the cards suggest that "if you have guts you get ice cream." I tentatively interpret that to mean that bravery will yield rewards... a favorable oracle? The DCs discuss the matter among themselves. Meanwhile I'm still pestering Zznvogayi to tell me how to spell the rest of his name, which he finally does. Of course it was just as complicated as the first syllable, and all I remember now is him explaining: "The 'v' and the 'd' are the same." "That makes sense," I reply, thinking how easily the two letters could merge based on linguistic similarity, and the fact that in some languages, like Sanskrit, they commonly occur in the compound phoneme 'dv'.

I want to make another attempt at summoning Solas, but this environment is too modern and urban to be suitable, so I decide to find somewhere better. Since there are a lot of DCs around I offer to make a show of it, announcing, "I'm going to make a portal!" Sure enough, this gets their attention and a small audience gathers behind me. I realize that with so many people watching I ought to give them a good visual spectacle. I begin by establishing, a few feet above the ground, a smudge of light colored deep cobalt blue. Then I wave my hand in a circle to rotate the light, spinning it into a flat vertical disk. I recall the beautiful hypnagogic patterns I was watching earlier as I fell asleep, and decorate the disk similarly. When I feel that the portal is well-established, I step through, trying to fix my thoughts on an environment appropriate to DA:I. However, at the spur of the moment I have trouble remembering any setting in particular, and for a while I find myself floating in unconstructed dream space. I focus on staying in the dream and finally a new environment forms around me. Across well-groomed lawns are large buildings whose style is unmistakably contemporary. There are no windows on the side wall of the building that I'm facing, just a four-digit number to identify it. This place looks like an expensive corporate campus: very far from what I was hoping for!

FA: It was probably the disappointment that woke me, but I had so much to write that I immediately went into "preserve and recall" mode, grabbing the notebook next to my bed and jotting down as many notes as I could before the memories faded, starting with the name 'Zznvogayi'. At one point I noticed that the pen wasn't making any marks on the paper, and remembered that earlier I had covered part of that page with an oval of wax. I tried to remember why and thought it must have had something to do with portals. I flipped over to a new page and continued taking notes, until I woke up more fully and realized that I was not actually writing, it had been an FA, and I would need to pick up my notebook for real and do it properly.

Aquarium beds
I'm in a building with large circular "aquariums." Inside them, people are lying on "beds" that are connected both to the ceiling and floor by many thin wires. It's some kind of "sensory replacement" experiment. I watch them move around, somehow "driving" the "beds" as they play a game. As I'm standing outside of one of these glass enclosures, a girl inside comes over and demonstrates how to "bang" simple communication in case tech goes wrong. Another girl is jealous of whatever prize the first girl won - a sandwich? She's just got a lollipop. I recognize these girls - I've seen replays of this match before and realize I must be slightly in the past. I ponder what would happen if I tell them who will win; then I wonder if I make something up, maybe it'll change who would win; but I tell them nothing.


Fragments
I'm walking down a hill that's been terraced into parking lots. The white van is at the very bottom. Now I'm trying to drive it out, but I'm having a lot of trouble controlling it and nearly hit other cars a bunch of times.

Something about going to England. My family is on vacation, and they've been sending us to England and back. This will be the third trip just in this vacation. It's been neat, but also a huge expense.

Fear

I was on a bed with my eyes closed talking to Dawn. I remember reappearing on the same bed quite a few times until i somehow arrived downstairs in the hall. There were three characters around me, one who i think was my younger brother. One of the characters who looked like Kiro's anime form went to go get something after that. I felt uncomfortable so I went into a room, locked the door and told Dawn how I felt. He told me not to worry but when I heard footsteps I went through the air conditioner in hopes of appearing somewhere else. I started flying above houses and began feeling more uncomfortable. Negative thoughts started popping up as i was looking around an flying. I saw a huge portal that sort of looked like the one from the anime kyoukai no rinne. I flew further to see a abandoned broken castle and heard someone singing an anastatia song. I flew to where i heard the sound and started singing it too. But than I thought about the part where she is imagining people dancing but it looks like ghosts.

I than appear on my bed in the dark with something moving around in side me. Its black, has red eyes and almost like the form of a human but more monster looking. It was laughing as it flew around inside me. I told it to stop but it wouldn't so I started punching myself. Prayed to be brave. Than remembered that i didn't need help because these characters were apart of myself. I saw a phone on a chair after i got out of the paralysis moment. On the phone it said "I will paint over your house". I than flew outside and noticed the orange roof top houses. The scene shifted to a teenager sitting on a porch step with a little girl. Than to me back on the bed paralyzed. I felt really heavy and like i could not get up but i forced myself up.
I than reappeared on the bed and kept punching myself to wake up until i just thought of waking up. Guess I was just mad at the constant reappearing. hahaha

Rape

Something about a girl dream competition where we try to beat up each other in a dream. I than left and started walking home. It was raining. I saw a couple of guys with bats trying to fight eachother. Than one comes up to me with a bat. I try to fly away but i can't. The guy than runs after me and grabs me. The scene than switches to a paper where there are words that rapist use to seduce their girl victims. Its very inappropriate that i can't belive my own dreamng mind came up with those.

The scene than shifts to the interior of the store where the guy who raped me is talking to the store owner or someone about a baby i will have. There are white pills in my hand that are in a clear container. I'm thinking about how its unfair that i get raped, have to take birth control pills and the owner of the store is friends with the rapist. I than get out the store. There is a old dark skin man with a gun on the street. He is pointing it at reporters and people mentioning that he is going to shoot everyone of them for raping the one he cares about. The reporters make fun of him than he starts shooting.I than fly to a street far away from the scene.

There is a announcement saying that in 11 hours there will be a earthquake in tokyo. I than notice on the top of a door there is a pizza and words saying "Educate your pizza". I wonder how much time till i wake up after seeing the future vision than wake up for real.

I don't believe the second was a future vision. It was just my brain was half taken by the dream plot.

Had two more pieces of dreams. The first one was,again,set in the grocery store from my last dream,but everything was reversed. The counters,registers and door were all on the opposite side of the room. As before,I got what I wanted,paid and was about to leave. I turned and walked back to the register where Lily was. I asked her if she wanted to go out. She pushed herself up on the edge of the counter,leaning over and said to me that she was already with someone. It hurt,but I tried not to show it. None of this has happened in real life,so maybe it's a warning or something not to get too overconfident about the situation.

The second dream happened later and was totally different. I dreamed I was living with some dark haired guy in his house. The house was somewhere in the UK. I remember it had three small steps leading down to the front door and another,longer set of stairs going up to a second level. This second level was completely flat,no furniture or any kind except for a bed I was sleeping on. He told me he and his girl had planned to go out that night,but she would only go if someone accompanied her gal pal/co-worker(?). I ended up getting stuck with that unenviable task.

The doorbell rang and he answered it. It was the other woman. I got out of bed and started down the stairs to meet her,but realized I was stark naked. For what it's worth,she did not seem shocked or offended by my awkward state. I grabbed a sheet off the bed and tried to cover up with that as best I could. The woman was heavyset,but very well dressed in a sparkly evening gown with a black coat over that. Her hair was piled up on her head and arranged very neatly. We started to talk and she began asking me questions. I was speaking in a fake British accent,for some reason. She asked me something,I misunderstood what she said,I said yes to whatever she had said and that's when I knew I'd slipped up. She had caught me in a lie and discovered I wasn't from there. I fessed up immediately,saying that I only spoke American,not British. I know it's all six of one,but it seemed like a big difference in the dream.

With my DC sister we entered a skyscraper placed in harbor. There was a woman in a black suit inside. With sister we were on a balcony placed two floors higher than the witch. I knew she'll use her powers against me, so I took a weird, black wand out of my pocket.

Instead of firing a spell at the witch, I ate the wand. It tasted weird, from bittery to sour. I barely digested it, and then the witch smiled to me. There were some windows in front of us, and I saw two enormous ships sailing off.

I told to my sister "Piss off Poseidon!" Suddenly waves powered by mystical particles striked the ships down, but the guards appeared and took me and my sister. They chained me to a pole in the middle of skyscraper. To free myself, I jumped, made a flip in the air, touched the ceiling with my feet and the chains broke.

I ran away to warehouses, sneaked past guards and took a heavy bag out of hidden stash. Then I escaped.