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Recall begins as I give up attempting to WILD in some sort of sports complex (this is typical of my failed WILD attempts. I start the dream somewhere else discouraged that I'm unable to WILD...). Head to the gymnasium to look for something to do. My friends are in a corner taking part in some sort of calisthenics program and the opposite side of the gym in being taken up by people throat chanting. I can't find a quite place to sit and meditate/try to WILD again so I decide to leave.

I get in my car, texting my friends that I'm leaving, and begin to drive away. However I have very poor control over the car! Accelerating/braking isn't working as it should and I keep accidentally swerving into wrong lanes. This has been a common dream sign for me lately. I become lucid and RC to confirm.

First order of business? Joy ride. I speed around for 5-10 seconds before realizing that my ability to drive has not improved. I notice trees lining the road, remember the TOTM, and walk towards the tallest of them.

I begin to climb (feels very realistic!!). Soon, however, I am climbing the tree in a house (as if the house were built around the tree), and then I'm at the top (much sooner than expected). I try to get to the very very top but the branches are too weak and the tree breaks. I make a racket and run away before anyone can investigate.

Across the street I notice a much bigger tree and walk over to try and climb it. I'm somewhat surprised to notice that my car is right where I left it. As I approach the tree I intend to change gravity to climb it (as there are no branches until much higher up the tree) as ~Dreamer mentioned doing. As I arrive though I notice the base of the tree fenced off with a single opening. Going through the opening and there are perfectly shaped hand/footholds available to climb the tree!

I climb about 15 feet (hard to tell because the tree is much less steep than I would have thought. I don't even need my hands to climb at the start) before my vision starts to fade to black and ultimately disappear. I briefly have what I interpret as a conversation with my subconscious asking whether I would like to attempt to DEILD or wake up and write it down. I chose the later.

Sharing an office
I'm in the office I share with Scott M. It's not a large room, and we both have a lot of stuff. The door is in one corner of the room. On the same wall as the door I have a table covered with computer stuff, some of it half built. On the wall left of the door is my desk. Underneath it are at least three computers. The network jacks are under my table, so network cables go across the floor both to my own computers and to Scott's.

As I'm doing something, I manage to disconnect Scott's network. I reconnect it, but I'm worried that something important on his computers may have shut down, so I go over to his desk to try to log in. I know he gave me his password for cases like this, and I take a moment to remember it: SnakeOil. I try to log in, but the password is rejected. Uh-oh. Now the login screen shows a failed login attempt. I try a couple of variations, and the computer gets tired of my repeated attempts and automatically reboots. I realize that would have solved the problem of any services that got shut down when I unplugged the network cable, but it still leaves the login failures. I wish I could log in successfully and clear it, but that's just not going to happen.

I was particularly worried that I may have killed his IM client, since he uses that as part of his working-from-home workflow. If his IM client isn't running, he can't access his computer from home.

A woman's landing a griffon. People come to meet her, and as she talks to one of them she's going to her bag and attending to her armor, getting out gloves and a helmet that weren't practical to wear while she was riding. She's talking about the things that need doing, acknowledging that some of them might be impossible at a small outpost like this, without the easy access to resources you get in the cities. And there's an animal strapped to the back of the griffon, restrained to keep it from hurting itself during the ride, in need of medical attention. They're next to the stables, but the griffon's too large for that - once everything's unloaded, it curls up on the ground like a cat, beside a tall fence.

That woman and the man she'd been talking to are walking past me into a circle of armed enemies. Someone in the crowd says, "It is the corruption against the corruption." They sound surprised. I'm ostensibly on the crowd's side, but I arranged to bring these two here tonight, and I expect them to kill the man who leads this little group, currently sitting on a kind of throne. Although I say nothing, I see him watching me and I can tell he understands my intention - or more likely he's imagining some grand paranoid plan; but my plan here is very straightforward, just his death. I'm aware he and I are a minor nuisance for these people I've brought here, just something to be dealt with on their way to something else - I have a vague association with the moon - not at all the grand schemes he's been imagining.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm traveling through a city and taking the opportunity to meet with an old friend who was reassigned here recently, a promotion. She works in a form of law enforcement. She's talking about the changes on the island where we last saw each other, talking about the ongoing conflict there. She says the forest has been burned down, so they'll have no more place to hide. There's no more way to get past the patrols skating over the water - I have a mental image of a ring, a platform floating on the water, encircling the whole island, with the port itself as the only opening.

She describes all this as if they're good things. Time was, she'd be helping me get my people out of places like that. She's met the man who leads the people in that forest - his people aren't mine, but their situation is nearly identical. But I'm thinking, I shouldn't be surprised - the last time she helped me, something happened that frightened her. It's why she stopped working with me. My people weren't at fault, but I'm not surprised that she'd take that fear out on them. But listening to her now, talking as if my people should be locked up, it's like she's forgotten I'm one of them.

The Dream:

Once again, I find myself pregnant in the dream world. This time I'm back at school and I've just gone to see the school guidance counsellor to see what I should do. She's a very calm and therapeutic dream character and she puts me at ease.

She tells me she should have a look at me to see if there are any complications. She takes me outside her office and towards a golden bathtub sitting at the end of the hall. She asks me to undress and sit in the tub, but only if I feel comfortable doing so in such a public place. I start removing my shoes but when I'm about to take off my jeans, the previously empty hall is now bustling with people and I no longer want everyone to see what's happening.

She tells me that's alright and that she'll meet me in a room in the basement where there shouldn't be so many people. I then walk down three flights of stairs to the basement. There are some people loitering around but within this basement there's an "inner room" which is completely empty except for a row of beds. Relieved at having finally found some privacy, I'm about to go into the room when I'm suddenly interrupted by Adam (a classmate) who asks me if I'm here for Justin Bieber's morning maths lecture. I'm horrified to realize I also happen to have a morning lecture with Professor Bieber and that I'd been skipping it in order to see the counsellor.

Suddenly the previously empty inner room turns into a classroom and there are desks with students in them and a teacher at the front writing on the board. I sit at the back of the classroom. As the teacher starts his lesson, I start wondering how on earth I wound up being pregnant in the first place. I wonder if the events that led me to be pregnant actually happened or if it was all just a dream. I (stupidly) decided it must have actually happened.

The counsellor is back again and sits behind me in the classroom. She asks me if it's alright if we continue at the back of the classroom where no one will see us. I tell her "No, Adam is my classmate and I'll be mortified if he sees me back there."

So instead I just try to pay attention to the lecture. Everyone seems to understand except for me.

Notes:
Prior to this dream, I had pretty much decided I didn't ever want to have children until I was past 30. The counsellor character sticks out to me because she was a calming presence in the midst of my anxiety. The golden bathtub is also memorable...perhaps because it's so misplaced in the middle of a school hallway?

The theme of trying to find a private place to undress but being unable to find it prevails again. I don't know what else this could mean except that it just reflects my own anxieties about being around people. In each of these dreams, I'm often trying to hide something that is under my clothes (i.e. underwear, a pregnant belly). I'm worried about people finding out about my secrets---whatever those are.

Re-occurring elements:

• the failed search for a private space
• a bathtub
• pregnancy

Dream Signs:

• I'm pregnant (duh)
• I'm also apparently back in high school
• the random bathtub in the middle of the hall

-Dream 1
There was a crazy party in my neighborhood. There was a long drawn out endeavour to hook up with this one chick. I did and random people were watching. V was there. I think we both had similar goals.


-Notes
Also remembered a dream I had a while ago about having a party in the dorms at the end of the year.

Morning of June 4, 2015. Thursday.



As I have written in a few other entries, I have never had a “serious” dream about vampires (or zombies either). In fact, the only vampire dreams at all have only occurred in more recent years (which is unusual in that I watched far more vampire movies when I was younger yet never dreamed of being chased by one - probably because I never found vampires scary or threatening in any way even when young, this in my realization of how many dreams are otherwise directly or even solely influenced by movies or television shows regardless). This entry makes the sixth online entry (main tumblr journal) regarding the vampire theme (out of about 2,000 online foundational entries for my more complex and revealing work later on, hoping to build to about a meager 10,000 which represents only about a quarter of my writing), and there are not that many others documented. Obviously, without Hollywood movies, or perhaps more detailed literature as such, there would be no dreams about vampires - only less detailed monstrous threats perhaps (with human features), such as other types of unrealistically-rendered “demons”. I have dreamt of a large threatening bat but in a different context. The “were-hyena” dream (from 1990) is one of the only human-like fictional monsters I found threatening, and that dream was mainly a result of real-time environmental audio precognition (where I dreamed of a particular sound before it being linked to a very similar sound in reality - a type of recognized and personally well-documented dream anomaly I have never read about elsewhere).

In this dream, there is no direct instance or coherent rendering of my dream-self. I am mostly watching as if being a vaguely-aware bystander. The main character is a male of about forty at the most, of whom I do not know or find familiar in any way. He is in a meeting with Dracula and seated to my right at an old wooden table. Dracula is on my left but is rendered with extreme distortion. While he has the head of a bat (only about half the size of a human head), that head is hanging down from a snakelike neck so that his head is actually not visible to the person he is conversing with and actually at about the level of just below his ribs. It seems to involve the vampire wanting the man to read for him (in my last nonthreatening vampire dream, I was to write Dracula’s biography). Apparently, the man is illiterate or not a very good reader and seems to be explaining this.

Over time, I began to notice “more” (which is probably a typical changeover). The bat head may be either fake or be an additional extension from the snake-like “neck” from his upper chest area. I notice what looks like a sheet over a human head which is then implied to be the “real” vampire’s head - a dream detail which is probably a result of posting online an older - though enhanced with adult writing style, and freshly researched - dream from 1969 (“Sgt Carter Stalked by Killer Newspaper” from March 8, 1969). Although a new dream being influenced by a minor focus on a much older dream is something I have come to see occur more often as I grow older, I have more recently noticed it as having occurred now and then in past times more than originally noticed or realized.

I suspect the man is not that surprised by the distorted vampire because I get the impression that he cannot see very well (although the vampire with the sheet over his head probably cannot see very well, either - even if he saw through the additional low-hanging bat head eyes he would probably only see the underside of the table).

From here, my dream shifts into the vampire becoming something else, supposedly more “demonic”. He seems to be threatening as he walks toward a Rapunzel-like character and is growing horns as he is walking. However, it soon seems that he only has one larger horn though farther to one side, which makes me associate him with unicorns and juvenile fantasy. My dream takes on a rather distorted cartoon-like essence before collapsing into the abstract.

Interestingly, one of the first things I read when looking at another dream-based site today was someone dreaming about a vampire that changed into a creature with horns, without deliberately searching with such terms, though such synchronicity (or form of precognition) always happening continuously and too often to keep any record of.

I was in school. There was a huge pit in the middle of the building. I was heading to the cloakroom. I was wearing a heavy, black jeacket, jeans trousers and one shoe. Suddenly I realised where I left one of the shoes, and went to take it.

I walked up the stairs in the pit, and found my shoe lying near two girls. They gave me a purse, and told me that their pal is waiting for it on the bottom of the pit. I took my shoe on, and took the purse. Suddenly someone called me, but I haven't replied to the phone call. I ran down the stairs, gave the girl a note from my pocket and said "Sorry that I'm late."

Then I turned around and saw my friends sitting on the stairs. I sat with them.

I was inside the car with F and we were looking at my cousin house, but in RL looks totally different. I was telling him they had 6 kitchens in that house.

Setting: Someone's kitchen/living room.

I was among thieves but one was not like the others... There was a wild card on the team. The responsibility of taking him out was put on my shoulders. I knew this guy had a gun in one of his bags. I grab the gun and point it at the rogue sitting on the couch with his arms resting on the top. He stares me in the eye as I pull the trigger and hear a small disappointing click. I am a little panicked, this chump I was trying to shoot didn't bat an eye. He was calm as ever. I saw his eyes roll as he reached into his belt pulled out his secondary (that none of us knew of) and slowly and professional-like began loading it. I ran back to his bag and fumbled around with the pack of bullets. My hands were shaky and it felt like forever passed before I finally had the gun loaded and clicked back in position. I had never used a gun before. I had been crouching behind the kitchen island while getting the bullets in the gun. I felt myself perspire and the fear welling up in my gut. I thought to myself maybe I had a chance if he had his gun pointed to the side I had entered from (of the island), so I came out around the opposite side. He had expected this and the first thing I see as I scoot out from the side of the island is his gun pointed directly at me resting on the back of the couch. He had one eye closed lining it up with my head. I shot three bullet before he pulled his trigger. They all miss. He fires his gun (it was as if he had waited that extra moment just to see if I were capable of killing him) and it strikes me in the face. I feel the blood wet my face first and then the cold of the air in the new orifice located around the upper right jaw/ just below the orbital. A small piercing pain was growing steadily, it hurt like hell. It was hot at cold at the same time. My ears rang and my heart sank as I know that this is the end of me. Time stands still for a moment and as it unfreezes my hand covers the hole and my legs stumble me back. My lower shoulder blades stop me against the sink counter. I slide down onto the floor and feel that metallic tasting fluid glide down my throat. My jaw gapes as I lean forward and a few pieces of crumbled teeth slip out and land in front of me. I see, but mostly just hear, the man shoot the rest of the team. They are all clean shots and my teamates die instantly. When he is done with them, he comes back over to me. He crouches down and rests on his heels. His gun hangs in his hand comfortably between his legs. He just sits there and watches me die slowly.

3 Dream Fragments for Dream Fragments 3

Dream Fragment 1
Something about mermaids. I don't remember anything else, but my first dream was about mermaids. I think I had special elemental powers in the dream.

Dream Fragment 2
I was apparently some sort of outlaw. I was in a car (don't know who's) and I forgot the person in the front seat. I had a lot of famous paintings and people were after me. Apparently I was arguing with the person in the front seat. I was trying to tell them to go to a museum, so I could bring the paintings there. I ended up taking refuge in a black castle with traps. Near the end of the dream I started to become lucid and saw a white spiral pattern with arms which were like a bent version of a corn plant stem silhouette. It was sort of blurry, so I tried to sharpen my vision. It ended up sharpening a little, but not as much as I'd like it to.

Dream Fragment 3
I was lucid for this dream. I was inside a house I used to live in. It was nighttime and the house was lit up with an orange hue. I spent a lot of time trying to maintain lucidity. I tried to remember what I wanted to do if I became lucid in a dream, but couldn't remember it. I ended just exploring the house. There was nothing special about the house. It was exactly the same as the one I used to live in. My mom was yelling at me at one point.

I took an elevator going down, but I almost missed pressing the (G) button. A guy entered. He looks big, overweight, and dark skinned (at least darker than me). He started moving his hands all over his body, making lewd sounds, while looking at me. I kindly told him to stop doing it. He retorted that he wasn't doing it for me, at the same time the elevator opened on a higher floor (33 or 34 although I was going to the ground floor), and a woman (office attire, wearing glasses) entered, so he said it's not like we are the only two people there. I told him we were. I was partially annoyed.

I eventually ended up in the lower ground floors and the maintenance room or something.

----

Notes:

- Slept at around 4 a.m. Woke up around 10:30 a.m.
- Was making green jokes the day before

Had two small fragments of dreams Monday. In the first my sister and I were at this little mom and pop store in my old neighborhood. We got what we wanted and went to the front counter to pay. This girl I used to know,Lily,was working at the register at the far end of the counter. We went to that register to pay. I pulled out my debit card and paid with it. We started to leave,but I went back to talk to Lily a moment. I asked her how long she had been back in town. "Since November 2," she said. I told her we would catch up with her later and left.

Second fragment: I was in a room,but again,not alone. The walls were white and there was a wrought iron bed near me. My ex-girlfriend's niece was in the room with me. She had on a white t-shirt. Her hair was pulled back and she was wearing glasses. I don't know why,but I tried to kiss her. She didn't go for it. "Nooo," she said,pulling back. Even though she wouldn't let me kiss her,she did let me take off the glasses and try them on. The prescription was weaker than mine,but I could see out of them a little. I took them off and handed them back to her. I was standing next to her,but she acted like she didn't know I was there. She doesn't wear glasses in real life,so I asked her whose they were. She said they belonged to someone named Cait,a friend or co-worker I assumed.

The Capsule
I was at a family gathering and I was quite nervous. I was with my brother majority of the time, as I don't think Trev or Russ was there at the time. I think Dad was was there, and quite a few people were talking about something that triggered me to show them footage of a Hover Board. I try searching for it on the Internet, but I have trouble remembering what it was called. Eventually I find it. There were a few model names, one being septer. I was happy to find it. I found some good footage of someone using it. The footage was incredible. It showed someone going sky high, even rocketing to the ground at high speeds. It wouldn't hit the ground, but instead look to have a springing motion, catapulting back up to the sky.

I'm at Rita and Bruce's house. We're organizing a trip to somewhere via the hover board, except it isn't the hover board, it's some kind of small capsule. There's certain procedures while in flight, like unscrewing the bottom of he capsule and putting it back on. I was nervous about this, because we would be in space, where the pressure would be high, resulting in us being sucked out. I'm not sure who I was with at this point, but I think it's people I know.

I'm outside in a street. There is other people with those flying capsules. Im seeing a scene of someone riding one and losing control of it, resulting it what would seem to hurt the person. I see another scene of a similar incident, except this time it runs into someone. We have our capsule which is tiny now, it's designed as a red pickup truck. It's flown over the crowed of people. I begin to feel a sense of having a better capsule then everyone else. I feel that eyes will be tuned in on ours. It's flown over into a venue that's having a capsule festival or something. We land it on top of a roof. I find this absolutely hilarious, and so do some of the public. Out of no where a official I'm assuming, grabs the capsule and unscrews the power unit out of the bottom of it. It's put me on a bit of a downer. I see a replay of capsule trying to fly away at the last minute as he tries to grab it. He grabs it just in time, and has a relieved look on his face.

I walk into a room where I can see a lot of people sitting at a table. I spot the man that has our capsule and soon realize he is uploading the photos off of it. He says it'll take 20 mins to upload them. I check the time and it seems as if it will be longer.

Dream Fragment
I'm reading a text from Kayley, it's saying that she isn't coping the best at the moment. I figure it's got to do with Mich.

-Dream 1

Had a dream that I had a big brother. There was some chick there that he "respected" but wasn't dating or anything like that.

I think some chick got shot in the head or I got shot in the head.

--Notes
Going to get back in to the swing of things dream wise. I like the goals I have made for myself, this year.

I woke up in bed and noticed I had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. I took a few small puffs on it as I sat up and then stood up. I thought to do a reality check t see if I'd false awakened. I pushed my finger into my Palm and it didn't go through. I then looked at my fingers. There were only 4 and they were perfectly spread ap add to like a cartoon hand would be. I got a very sudden feeling of lucidity as I realized I'm dreaming. The dream was very unstable and I was barely able to maintain any ideas. I thought what should I do? So I decided to take on the persona of Bad Ass McCoy from my old LD DJ entries. I began to feel the dream slip so I rubbed my hands together to stabilize it and that's all I remember.

Dream fragment of walking with my grandpa to the top of the drive way and was greeted by a neighbor Ms. Davis. We spoke briefly but my grandpa kept walking across the street and there was a big hill. I stood behind him to make sure he didn't fall as he has Parkinsons. Suddenly we were in a loading bay of sorts and I looked away for a second then looked back and he was knelt down and falling over, I ran over and started to help him up but he fell backwards onto me and I acted stuck and it was hard to breath for a few seconds. I finally got enough momentum to roll him forward and pull him up. I stood him up and he had no walker. I got mad that he was doing all these unsafe things and imagined myself saying fuck and flipping off the world around me out of frustration. He then started walking up this long concrete gradient ramp that seemed to go around a big baseball field or something. I was making eyes with this cute girl who seemed interested. Slightly remembering it's a dream I stood up and walked by her lightly brushing my hand on her as I past. I followed my grandpa up the ramp I jumped up and grabbed onto the fence but it was a really high jump and I nearly grabbed the top of the fence. I climbed down and the dream changed to a store front.

I wasn't lucid at all and was walking around seeming to be looking for girls. I past a few cute ones and eventually found a few girls who knew me and they had a friend and all seemed interested in getting down with me. Behind a few things in the store I exposed myself to them and we were all carefully looking for security. We decided to continue this somewhere else but I woke.