All DJ Entries

Ever since I can remember, I have had recurring dreams that were all set in a place I cannot easily describe. This "world" is a brightly lit place, always coastal, or a feeling of being coastal, and is a very highly built city. I couldn't tell you how tall because I am always either in the top of the towers, which are all connected, or at the beach. In this world, clearly a very productive and happy place, our time as humanity is always coming to an end. The events of these dreams are never exactly the same. I recall when I was a young child that in the dream I was driving on a highway (very high in the sky) towards the beach, when the earth began to shake and the highway began crumble. More recently, I was in this world and found a friend, I stepped out of the elevator and went to hug him. I also knew at that moment I had been there before and some part of me knew the world was ending. The strangest thing about these dreams, and why I consider them recurring, even though they are not the same people, the same events, or even the same exact location, is the feeling that comes with this world. I feel it in the dreams and it feels familiar, and I know they are all in the same realm. This feeling carries over to when I wake up, as near as I can describe it is love. (as an aside I was convinced for two days I loved this friend after that dream before realizing it was only the feeling the dream had given me) Love is not totally accurate, however. Bliss is less accurate. I only know that as scary as the world ending may be, something about these dreams draws me to them. I almost cannot believe they are only dreams. To me it feel like a different realm, as real as this one, where I lead a very different life in a very different place. A place where people are so contented even the end of days does not damper their happiness.

Whenever my dream recall fails, I've made a habit of going back into my memory and recalling dreams that I've had long ago but never written down. Well, here are some of those.

Secret Hardware Store
I probably had this dream about five years ago. For some odd reason, although the dream is not very interesting, this dream tends to invoke a "dreamy" feeling in me.
I recall the location very vividly. I had a sort of internal compass telling me what direction was what. There is a large square clearing in a forest aligned perfectly with the cardinal directions. The clearing is about a half mile on edge. There was a freeway bisecting the clearing north-south, but bearing slightly to the northwest. There is a road perpendicular to the freeway overpass bisecting the square clearing the other way. There are on/off ramps connecting the freeway and another service road running along the western side of the freeway. In the southwest corner there is a large brick building. The grass in the clearing is short, but looks somewhat dead or dried out. The trees surrounding the clearing seem to have either died or lost their leaves for winter. There are a few scattered circus clouds but the sky is mostly a clear pale blue. (Sorry for the long description, don't feel like drawing any maps today.)
I was sort of floating, and I actually got into a half-lucid state for a moment, but fell out of it.I floated down and went into the back entrance of the building, and my body materialized. that actually turned out to be a hardware and electronic components store. Somebody, somewhere was explaining to me that this back room of the store sold specialized components, some of them were not entirely legal. I was given a large sum of money only valid for this store, and was allowed to purchase anything from the back room.
Having little-to-no knowledge of electronics I simply grabbed random components that I found visually appealing. Integrated circuits, batteries, motors, capacitors, etc. I approached the counter. (The secret back room had its own counter and check out.) The man at the counter (can't recall exactly what he looked like.) But the interesting thing that I do recall was that on the counter, half buried in a pile of discarded components was the chip from the AI theft dream that I had years later. But the chip was not glowing as it was in the AI theft dream, but it rather was black as thought it were either inactive or burned out.

Going Deep Underground
This dream feels more recent, but has to be at least a year old.
I was with my ma and pa, along with my deceased set of grandparents. We were in the basement some old dusty building that was filled with storage containers. Everyone but me were simply sitting and talking about eventually moving the storage containers out of the room and renovating the space. I simply decided to explore and see how far this place went.
I found another door behind some shelves that led into another room that felt like it was even deeper underground. There was more storage of boxes on shelves here, but this place looked even older. The walls were covered in mold and the dank, dusty smell was overwhelming. I pulled one of those chain light switches that hung from the ceiling to get light into the room. The room had a wooden floor. There was also some large machine, like a heater or boiler grumbling in the center of the room.
I proceeded further into the room and found yet another door. This one was like a large steel vault door, as if this were a bomb shelter or something. It was covered in rust. I pushed it and found the entrance to some underground complex.
As I proceeded deeper and deeper into the underground, The plot of the dream began to morph to a sort of post-Apocalypse survival situation. I began to hear blasts above and the plot changed in my head. There was a nuclear war going on on the surface and the blasts were slowly penetrating deeper underground. I completely forgot about the basement renovation plot with my relatives. My goal was to get to the lowest level of this complex possible to have the best chance of surviving the war.
I continued down through this complex, and the place was huge, I must have gone down at-least a mile underground, and the machinery was big too. There were huge metal pipelines, as big around as houses, concrete pylons and deep mining shafts that stretched down for miles. The whole place was alive with the humming of machinery.
As I went deeper and deeper underground, the complex actually started to get more polished looking. This was somehow explained to me as the deeper I went underground, the more well-preserved the place was. Before I knew it, the entire place looked completely brand new. Eventually, I arrived at a door and opened it.
I was in a very nice classroom/lecture hall. There were three or four teenagers dressed in power ranger costumes.
From what I can recall, the teenagers seemed like jerks and they didn't seem to like power rangers either, they were wearing the costumes to ironically celebrate the show. They actually started to bully me, but because they were such jerks, I just continued without much of a care, and they did not follow.
The plot of the dream changed again, I and as it turned out, the underground complex that I had blundered into was in fact aperture science. I acquired a portal gun and GLaDOS began instructing me to complete tests with it. I lose the dream here.

Drowning a Bully
This dream feels very recent. I identified Lia in it, so it must have been after I learned who my dream guide was. And the only reason I recall it was because I was writing about the jerk teenagers in that last dream and then remembered what happened in this.
So anyways, me and her are at this waterpark just chilling out and talking. (Because I can be talking with my dream guide as if she is a familiar person and not be lucid. Dream logic strikes again.) we are sitting on the edge of this very large wave pool where there is an underwater bench like you might find in a hot tub.
We decide to make our way back to the pool deck to meet up with [god knows who], and because we are near the back of the pool and start swimming back. We get about ten feet when we run into this group of bullies. Come to think of it, they were exactly like the bullies dressed as power rangers. Now whatever they said, I'm not going to repeat. Not because it was overly offensive. I just don't remember it. So they delivered a couple of pretty vicious insults to both of us, but one of them tore it, and thus began a blood-lusted fight in the pool.
I went straight for the head bully and we traded a couple punches. (BTW this guy was really muscular and much bigger than me.) His punches don't hurt and he notices that I seem invulnerable. (Even though I wasn't lucid.) He attempts to shove me underwater and drown me, but I hold my breath until he allows me back up.
I lift up my legs in the water and wrap my legs around his body, then twist and rotate so he is underwater. He pushes me down with his arms so neither of us can breathe. He can't get out of my leg lock, and I can breathe underwater so the head bully ends up drowning. I come back to the surface, and Lia and the other bullies are gone. The head bully is dead and there is a little bit of blood in the pool.
A lifeguard swims over (Oh, hello, where were you earlier?!) and is really angry with me for killing this guy. The lifeguard has called the police and will have me arrested.I have the vague feeling that killing this dude was really no big deal, and that there are really no consequences to what has just happened.

Fragment
Something going on at my grandparent's house. (My grandparents that are still living.) Don't recall much but it's giving me a dreamy feeling and it was summertime. The area eventually began to merge with a tropical rainforest setting. There was a tree that grew over their deck with pear-like fruits on it.

Umbrella Flying
I have no idea who Mary Poppins is or what it's about. (Is it a show, movie, what? All I know is that some woman flies around with an umbrella. Perhaps a commenter can give me some insight.) But when I told my friend about this dream, he said it reminded me of her.
This was actually a recurring dream that I had as a kid, but one occurrence in particular is just speaking to me right now. So the setting was rather usual for my dreams, I was above a forest. But the thing that I recall was that this forest was a gorgeous, vivid shade of green. The sky was cool too. It was very dark and stormy with layers of storm clouds. The colors of the clouds were vivid too. The forest actually grew on some very mild mountains and small rivers ran through the valleys.
I was clinging to this umbrella, both thrilled by what I was experiencing and terrified at the thought of letting go and plummeting half a mile to my doom. I seemed to have some type of control over how I flew and what direction I went, but for the most part, I felt as though I were at the mercy of the wind. I also recall also feeling the temperature and wind. Cool. I felt as if I were getting wet each time I rose up into the storm clouds.
Eventually, the umbrella began to lose power and I slowly drifted to the ground in a park-like area. I encountered my family there, and it seemed as though some sort or arranged meeting with my parents was taking place. I continually opened and closed the umbrella in an attempt to catch more wind currents and begin flying again, but I only managed to catch increasingly weak breezes that led to shorter glides until the flying method failed entirely.

Foster Home
Another dream that feels rather old. Probably from before I began lucid dreaming.
My parents had been killed and I was surprisingly OK with it. Maybe I was in a state of denial, or maybe I was partially lucid. I had been taken into a foster home and was experiencing my first day with the other kids.
First of all, this foster home is really weird. It looks very high tech, the walls are made of sheet metal and have these high tech lighting conduits along the floor and ceiling. It feels like the place is underground.
Basically there is a main hallway with a doorway at one end. On either side of the hallway are two large square rooms, one after the other. The first room on the left is a playroom, where the kids keep their toys, and the second one is a bedroom. Most of the kids sleep in hammocks, rather than actual beds. (due to space constraints or personal preference, I don't know.)
I don't know what was in the two doors on the right. It's safe to assume one was a restroom.
Anyways, I was being introduced to the place by my foster mothers, one of whom seemed very stern and strict, and the other more kindly and playful. They briefed me on how to act around the other foster kids, and also explained to me that since I was the oldest, I may have to supervise the younger ones when the foster parents are not around. They eventually left for me to get acquainted with the other kids.
At first the other kids did not seem to take very kindly to me. They harassed me for being older than all of them. But we eventually wound up in the play room and broke out into a rather large Nerf gun battle making use of the main hall, bedroom and play room.

Feb 10-11 2014 (Lucid)

The Chronicle Dream
* *I had a dream about the movie chronicle. I was a character with super powers alongside about 2 or 3 other friends and we were in a warehouse hiding from people looking for us.

Space, Summoning, Dragon Dogs, TotM's, and Reviving Zombies (Lucid)
*This lucid was very long, and several times I woke up but went back into the dream through DEILD technique. It was also hard to recall absolutely everything I did just due to the sheer length and detail of the dream*
* *Realized I was lucid. I knew I wanted to get to space, and an elevator was probably my best bet. I scan my surroundings and see some large skyscrapers in the distance, and knew they had to have elevators. I run over to them, crossing streets, sidewalks, and train tracks to get there. I stop at the nearest one, figuring I can figure it out with this one. I go around the side of the building and see 2 elevators in a section of the wall. I went to the elevator, and pressed the "up" button on it to call the elevator. It opened immediately so I stepped inside.
* *It was a fairly deep elevator, but the buttons were to my left just on the wall. I noticed there were only about 10 buttons and thought to myself that wouldn't work, so I waved my hand over the buttons to add more and a few more popped up. I wanted more so I did it again, but this time many disappeared. I do it one last time and a whole bunch appear, and I figured it was enough. I notice the text on the buttons keeps changing and the numbers are not consistent. Either way, I choose a high up button, and the elevator starts moving up.
* *It arrives fairly quickly on a high floor and I step out. I'm reminded of being in the John Hancock tower in Chicago as people were eating and just sitting around there looking out of the big windows. Looking out of the windows myself, I notice it was sunny in the sky with clouds extending forever in every direction. I start to be disappointed, but tell myself I can work with it. I remember techniques from DV to kind of trick your memory and what not so I decide to try it here. I told myself that we really were in space and what the windows were showing were just holograms chosen by the people inside. One of the hostesses kind of agreed with me and soon bright nebulae started to form in the sky. Giant twirling mushroom like things, large wormlike colorful nebula clouds, and other incredible sights starting passing by.

* *I decide to try a few other things while I'm in the building. I thought about doing some task of the month while I was at it, but had trouble remembering them. I get slightly angry since I helped partly come up with some of the tasks, but then remember the soulmate task. I asked who my soulmate was to a girl nearby, but I forgot what she said! I know she didn't specify a name and said something along the lines of I didn't need one, but I can't fully remember.
* *I also decide to try to summon a celebrity. I start thinking of female celebrities that I like, and Taylor Swift comes to mind, then Selena Gomez. I decide to summon Selena Gomez. A technique comes to mind from DV where I stick my hand behind me and then believe they'll grab it and then pull them into view. So I thrust my hand backwards and kind of say "come on up here" trying to beckon her into existence. I feel my hand get grabbed by another, and pull the person forward and, sure enough, Selena Gomez is the one attached to my hand. I'm ecstatic. We head over to a couch to sit down and talk, but I don't think much is actually said.
* *I also remember the task to dig your heart out and give it to someone. I knew there were plenty of DCs around to give my heart to, so I just started trying to dig my fingers through my chest. I'm normally able to phase through walls fine, but my fingers just did not want to penetrate my chest. After trying a little longer, I decide I'll try it later with another way of doing it.
* *At some point later in the same dream I'm just outside the building, back on the ground. I remember I want to ride a dragon, so I start calling out for dragons. I think of Eragon and how he calls out with his mind, so I yell out for Eragon's dragon, Saphira, with my mind as loud as I can. Doing so, I notice far in the distance two dragon are climbing all over a large building, and I call out to it with my mind. It reacts and starts flying over to me. When it lands I notice it's some sort of dragon hybrid with the body of a very large Rottweiler dog, and the wings of a dragon. I think it's perfect and it lets me on it's back. It takes off and we go a bit in the air, and it decides to land after just a little bit. When it lands it actually falls over and I kind of hop off. I notice it's a lot smaller than when I first saw it, especially the wings. It told me it wasn't used to being ridden, but I thought that was off since he's mine, and should be used to being ridden.
* *Later I remembered the task of reviving a zombie. So I start looking around for a zombie, and notice that my DCs seem to have all pretty much disappeared. I reach this small wooden cabin, when I see this figure in ice at the edge of the porch. Realizing this is the zombie I was looking for, I run up to it, and think of ways to thaw it. I decide to just use hot breath to melt the head portion and free it's face first. So I tilt it on the ground and start exhaling all over the face. It's slow at first, but soon it just all sorta melts away.
* *I notice immediately that the zombie trapped inside is my co-worker I, but with a green face. I think that it is weird she was the one my brain picked to be infected, and also weird how it's not a very gory face, just green. She notices me and scowls, and starts trying to break free from her icy prison. I realize I can score bonus points here by reviving with a kiss, so I swoop down and kiss her for a brief second.
* *When I stop I notice the ice has all melted and she is back to normal, although looks offended that I kissed her without her permission, and then she walks away. I think oh well, at least I accomplished the task.
* *Later in the same dream I created a whirlpool. I was in a boat and we were just headed somewhere. I think it'd be cool to just create a whirlpool, so I think about it, and the boat starts turning right, and the waves get more rough. I realize I'm creating it the wrong way and won't get to see it since I'm looking out the left side, so I somehow just flip the direction of the whirlpool and I see the center start forming out in the distance.
* *I wonder what things I'll see when we go down the center, but am interrupted by attacks from whale/narwhal creatures. Our boat is fighting back, but knowing it's a dream, I just kinda fling them back and forth with my mind, but it's not doing much good. It's now stormy and rainy out and I wonder how much control I actually have at that point, then I wake up and can't get back in.

A sort of ancient China-based fantasy setting. Someone's left an offering of a fish for me at my shrine, and I'm suspicious of it, so I only take a taste. It turns out to be fine. Now I feel regret; if I'd known it was good, I would have eaten the whole thing. From my perspective, after I tasted it, the rest turned to stone; I'm aware the humans offering it would have seen it differently.

Nearby, there's a man talking with his wife in their home late at night. He's going through a sort of existential despair, and he's sort of thinking through it out loud, talking more to himself than to his wife. Someone else appears and tells him that this existential despair is good, it's an indication that it's time for him to move on to the next stage of life, to become immortal. The man totally buys it. I'm a disembodied observer, but I still have the mindset of the character from the shrine in the previous scene, and I'm extremely irritated with that new person/creature. I think of this man and his wife as mine, and I don't appreciate others attempting to mislead and take advantage of them.

Outside - I remain in 3rd person POV and lose that shrine character's mindset. That couple's house is part of a small complex of several buildings enclosed by a wall, and elsewhere within that wall there's a woman who hunts demons, dressed like a man, chasing after a three-eyed crow, with another woman (a local, not a demon hunter) trying to keep up with her. They don't manage to catch it; it flew over the wall, and it didn't seem at all concerned about its pursuers. She's seen that crow before, the one controlling it has caused trouble for her in the past.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm traveling through a forest, and changing into a suit of chainmail. It's gleaming white, head to toe.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

A fantasy China setting again. There's an elf woman dressed all in white, head to toe, and there are two men taking her over to an island in a rowboat. One of the men is young, the other is middle-aged and has been recently disgraced in some way, he's cut off his hair to reflect that. Reaching the island she wants to go to involves passing through several veil-like things in the air covering the opening between two cliffs.

When they reach the town on the other side of that passage, the older man immediately jumps out of the boat and heads off through the streets, moving quickly. As a disembodied observer, I follow him, and I'm thinking that I've seen this scene before, from the younger man's POV. (Which is probably a false memory, but there's a chance it's true - it's true that I was in the young man's POV in a scene just before the rowboat, and I can only remember very vague fragments of that scene.) I'm thinking now that last time, that man had met up with us after we'd taken care of some business, just before we left the island. I had wondered what he was doing while he was gone, but he'd refused to say, he's always very secretive - I'm pleased I'm going to be able to find out now. (Of course, as soon as I thought that, I woke up.)

*Blackness* Then, a tunnel of light rushes towards me and I'm standing on a road by two buildings. A vast expanse of water lies before me. I already know I'm dreaming and I stand in the middle of the street trying to think of what to do. I see a stop sign to my left and decide to go over and touch it. It feels cool to the touch and is nicely rounded. Then I walk towards the water.
*I feel my waking body move and decide to try stabilizing my dream*
I rub my hands together but I can still feel my physical body
I then think that to forget about my physical body i have to get caught up in the dream. I then leap into the air and... get stuck mid air because I realize I don't know how to fly. I try willing myself forward but the dream starts becoming blurry and then It just slips away and... I wake up.

non lucid
*The dream started off with Lama surya das teaching about rigpa while clearing resting in that state him self. Then he said something that made Tai Situ laugh very hard. Tai Situ was laying down under some kind of a cover at this point. Then Lama Surya Das transformed into the Tai Situ as he laughed and cried at the same time. It was one of the strangest reacts I have ever seen. Then he stopped and Tai Situ instantly transformed into Karmapa. I thought that moment he must of attained enlightment. Then Karmapa transformed into a blue alien like being. The being gave a look that scared the crap out of me!! Could that be vajradhara or some kind of deity. don't know? But that thought didn't occur while having the dream only when I woke up. Very strange dream tho.

2/11/14 Car turns into a bus slowly flying over a huge construction zone and it takes several steps into logic/memory to realize that I am dreaming. More fun with Girl Friday after a bit of an absence. More odd early awakenings. Perhaps too many liquids before bed, ate a bunch of citrus + water. ~1120 ~1230 105 325 DILD ~630 Another apocalyptic dream earlier in the night that I didn't get lucid in unlike yesterday's but that one was later in the morning. Tonight's was a long, memorable tsunami dream in a high school setting featuring the whole school gathering in the auditorium, missing clothes, spilling sauce, senior prank with a (RC?) helicopter, some weird method from Spanish class of calming the crowd after the prank and then looking out to see a tsunami approaching and running up several stories to stay above the water.

The earliest recall in my DILD started outside a sports arena(?) and I was getting into a car and Girl Friday was there shivering. I tried to rub her arms to warm her up but she was a bit stand-offish and got into the front passenger seat. I started off driving and was getting on a freeway where the shoulder was coned off and workers in orange safety vests were setting up a roadside memorial with flowers, balloons, etc. As I continued the slow lane was coned off and then 2 more lanes were coned off suddenly (must have been 4 lanes total in my direction) so I had to get over in a hurry and check my blind spot. At this point no other vehicles are on the road and the car transitions into a bus in which I am riding in the back (my recall of the transition is a little hazy but it obviously didn't make me lucid yet!) This bus is travelling past major construction and a huge tunnel-boring contraption that I could see digging a tunnel. The bus starts weaving around various parts of the construction that is in the way and I notice that instead of just being elevated like you would be in a bus, that it is actually floating. This part is hilarious to me because logic kicks in before memory when I think to myself "why don't they just float a little higher to avoid all of this mess?...no wait a minute buses don't fly!" I say out loud "buses don't fly, this is a dream!" I remember that Girl Friday was in the front passenger seat (from when it was a car) and I say something like "get on back here." She arrives and we start making out feverishly. I unbutton her blouse excitedly and reach my hands into her blouse and around to her back feeling her bare skin and undo her bra. She is wearing either pants or shorts and I unzip them and I remember the goal to slow down and look more closely at individual items and decide to focus on the copper colored button just above her zipper. It has an interesting pattern that I don't recognize from waking life. The dream starts fading as I try to reach out for her and I also try a closed eye teleport which seems to return me to my bed quicker or it was just the timing of being at the end of REM. I lay still and attempt to DEILD but only manage to semi-interact with some HH's or short dreamlets. One was maybe 10 seconds long and featured what looked like a giant toy ape and I appeared to be near it's midsection (possibly in it's hand like the girl in King Kong) and I managed to look around a little bit before it faded. 106

This dream wasn't a very long one, but it was a quite cool one I must say. I start off outside of some building of some sort. I'm walking towards the entrance of the building on a very futuristic walkway of some sort, and I have CZ-3A1 Skorpion EVO in my hands.

On the gun I have a stubby fore grip, a stubby suppressor, and a Kobra red dot sight. It's an interesting Russian brand RDS with a three-prong reticle in the center of it. The Skorpion is a master close quarter weapon, firing an impressive 1000 RPM. Taking this all in I can assume I'm here for one reason, and one reason only: killing some fools.
I hold up the PDW now and breach the entrance of the building. Inside I quickly take down one guy, and then two more coming from further down. I look down the stairs and see no one is coming, but then I hear footsteps coming from the entrance. I turn and gun down two more enemies as they enter the building. I reload and continue to move along.
I go down the stairs in front of me and enter what appears to be a kitchen area, where I see a lot of people cooking things. They're all wearing normal chef uniforms and prepping for what looks like a big feast later on. As I walk through, I see an armed guard and shoot him point blank in the chest. One of the chefs sees me kill him and freaks out. I pull out a wad of cash from my pocket and hand it to him.
"You didn't see nothing," I say, and I move along.
I now realize how risky this is to have my EVO out like this, because so many witnesses and innocent people are here in this futuristic building. I come into a hallway now, and I hide my EVO in my leather jacket I happened to be wearing. My hand never leaves the gun however, as I'm paranoid that someone may pop up and shoot at me.
I walk through a large crowd of people in the neatly carpeted hallway and come to a staircase leading upstairs. I walk up it and I'm now in another hallway. I see many parents with their little children walking up and down the corridor, and I'm getting more and more worried now.
I'm really hoping nothing goes down, because all these little kids are gonna get caught in the crossfire, and that would be terrible.
However, I soon come to another staircase, which leads me exactly to where I need to be. I mention to myself in my head that the chip I need is upstairs. So I go up the stairs now with caution, and my EVO aimed and ready.
I see a person in the room and pull the trigger, but the gun misfires. I keep pulling the trigger in a panic, but the gun won't fire. I look to see the person, who is someone I actually know in real life, but barely. She's a ginger-haired girl with a look of panic in her eyes, which is now fading to relief.
I remove the suppressor from my gun and pull the trigger, but that doesn't help at all. I guess my dream self is too stupid to just pull the gun's operating rod and chamber a new round. I reattach the suppressor and try again, with no result.
"Good thing it didn't fire when the suppressor was off," I say. "There'd be people all over me."
I look at the girl, who is thankfully unarmed, and just staring at me now. A friend of mine now comes upstairs and stands by my side. This room is very compact, no larger than 10ft X 10ft I'd say. In the corner is a desk with an older looking computer, which must have the chip in it that I need.
"Alright, give me the chip," I order the girl.
"If you want the chip then you'll have to do me a favor," she replies.
I assume at this point it's something I don't want to do, as the girl gets a grin on her face. I assume that this means she wants a sexual favor of some sort, which makes me cringe a little on the inside. I mean, she's not ugly, but she's not super attractive either. She's in the middle, but I realize the importance of the chip. I approach her now, only to be awoken by my Dad opening my door and walking into my room.

Journal Entry non-lucid #31 Dream, non-dream (Comments)

Background: I prepared for sleep early. I made some juice well it wasn't really juice. I took out some avocado and I pealed it. I put it into a paper cup and I grinned it up with a knife after getting the inside. I put a little amount of water in their. I added a banana, and did the same with the banana inside of it. I added a little amount of milk. And I put some grapes, I had to hand squeeze though. After I had some of that I made me some tea, I thought it was the "calm chamomile" but it something else. The tea tasted nasty so I ate some cookies with it. I tried doing a sleep meditation by Diana Winston from UCLA. I feel asleep before I could commence with the mantras and the visualization. Hopefully tomorrow.

Dream fragment 1, 8:15pm-1:10am."": I was with my cousin FN and she asked me to look for her shoe for her. At first I said no but I said ok

Dream fragment 2, 8:15pm-1:10am."": I helped a girl from my Chemistry class with mathematics.

Dream fragment 3, 8:15pm-1:10am."": I was in chemistry class and we were sitting in a hexagon table like usually. I was with this Asian guy that is from my chemistry class, and another guy. We watched a video about mortality. I don't recall the video. The Asian guy asked me a question(I don't recall) about mortality. I told him it is nice to be alive or to believe you are, and who knows what if we enjoy death. I looked at my body and felt my life force, IDK how to explain it. The dream clarity increase tremendously when I felt my life force. I turned around and they were gone. I thought that is strange. I looked at my hands and started to count, I don't remember if I had a certain amount of fingers. I turn back around and they were right their. The Asian guy smiled at me.

Dream fragment 4, 8:15pm-1:10am."": I was inside church. I saw my counselor and I had to wait to talk to her because she was busy with a lot of people. BS dad was looking for him. They asked me and I didn't know. This multiracial girl, who look an islander came and hugged my counselor saying, "you're so fluffy". I thought it was an insult and looked at her weird and my counselor did same. She said I am sorry I didn't know you spoke English.

I walked to my room (environmental change). I had a half eaten doughnut and I was about to throw it away but I saw my cousin, SA. She was on my PS3. I asked her if she wanted it. She was so happy. She had a twinkle in her eyes. This kid from church, BT, tried to play on my PS3. I asked them if they seen BS. They said he sneaked out. He went into this opening in my closet. I thought how strange once you tell someone the truth and give them freewill, they immediately do something bad. I went outside to investigate.

I got distracted by my sister. She was in the car with many other people. She had her window opened only to the point that I could see her eyes and half her nose. She was on the right side of the car, European style. She said something that was personal. I responded, "look at you! In your half dream state, you don't even know what you are saying". She said, "what?". I tried to explain it to her but she couldn't comprehended. I thought about how she acted in her dream like state and thought maybe that is why she can't LD. She drove off like a manic. I turned around and I see my house, and my sister going their. Their was all these guys, 6 feet something tall. They were all black as well. I became angry, I didn't want them in my house. I told them they better leave or I will stab them with a knife. I told them that this is private property and if i hurt them I will not be responsible. This one guy walked into the garage. I ran into the house and grabbed a kitchen knife. I go to the garage and he has a hammer. He tried to hit me and he missed. I went back to the garage to get a longer knife. I could hear him hitting the wall as if he forgot why he was swinging in the first place. I run back down and they were gone. The walls were ok. I saw my sister drive off. I saw a cop car on the other side on my neighbor's house. Apparently my grandmother moved out and lived in front of our house. The cop was no other than my Calc I, teacher. I asked him to come over so we can talk about what happened. He said he has to talk to his grandmother. I thought wait what.

I turn around and I see a man from my Calc III class, PY. He was now a math teacher. I was going to be in one of his classrooms. He was talking to this guy. The scene looked dark and rainy. As I was trying to talk to PY, he turned around. So I walked through the gates and followed them. They were laughing and talking very loudly. We went up stair and their is a music class room their. They are still talking very loudly. Everybody was looking at them funny. One old lady had the courage to ask them to lower their voices down.

I got up multiple times during this time. And I finally got up at 1:10 am and stayed up until 5:00. In that time span, I tried making music and I watched videos, and I talked to my sister. Yeah she sleeps real late. I also drank some tea.

Dream fragment 5, 5:10pm-7:23am."": I was driving my car in the freeway with my parents. I was loosing control of the wheel it felt like someone was grabbing on to it. I saw a hand but no person. I got into a little car accident where my bumper kissed another. I said I can't drive under these conditions and I parked the car at the side of the free way. A lot of people were there as well. My dad found an an awkward sink and he pointed out how weird it was. I on the other hand was embarrassed that he was using a sink to wash his face in the middle of the freeway.

Dream fragment 6, 5:10pm-7:23am."": I was talking to my teacher about my grades but the assignments I had didn't match his. He kept asking me for a certain paper and I tell him and they don't match. He kept asking me, but I stopped responding. He asked me why. I told him we don't have the same assignments. A TA came inside and got on a lap top. He had chicken grease all over the laptop. I started singing for some reason.

Last night. I was in a dark brick tower looking inside. I saw a letter going up words towards the top of the tower. I tried to climb it, but half the ladder was missing. I went down really fast and felt this dark presence. The door went missing, so I was essentially trapped. A monster or two crawling down thee dark tower towards me. Of course I started freaking out a little and went into the fetal position. Then I briefly thought of this thread and I became semi-lucid and stood up. I made the creatures vanish and blew a hole in the tower and escaped. The tower crumbled into a pile of dust.

Then I started walking in these woods near by and came lucid. I tried to make things appear, but I couldn't. The woods was very very vivid. I really loved the way the trees looked. It was starting to get dark, and I for a moment lost my lucidity but caught myself. I tried to fly, but could only hover above the ground. I woke up before I could do anything fun. That was my experience with that.

2.11.14 Tuesday

Last night, bed 11pm - 7:40am

Did 10 min of anapana sati just before bed.

Had lots of dreams. Remembered one in particular, but decided this one will be better if forgotten. So I didn't write it down.

Drank water before bed, but strange thing, it didn't wake me up single time. Nice thing is though, that I'm waking up on my own few times, and either remembering dreams, or being very close to remembering.

Morning of February 11, 2014. Tuesday.





The Barton Ministry was the first Australian Commonwealth ministry, and ran from 1 January 1901 to 24 September 1903. My father was born during this time. Coincidentally, on his birthday, because the “fiddler” theme has just popped up again, I found a surprising old article. (The “fiddler on the roof” was ironically Jesus in an old childhood dream.) On the day of my father’s birthday there was an article (in an American newspaper) of a “celestial being” (in description) of a boy who played the fiddle. He was from, of all places, where my wife’s father had lived in Hungary. His name was Kun Arpad, but no one is sure what happened to him (well, at least certain people - I am sure there are/were many who know/knew). At any rate, another surprise - my wife just happened to find a second-hand DVD of the movie “Fiddler on the Roof” at just the “right” time - and for a dollar - right after the “96 Tears” book.

One dream from just prior to contact with my wife the first time was incorporated into my unpublished novella, which I had sent a copy of to Piercing Eyes in the PAIA. This novella had a scenario of a man being chased by a chubby fiddler up and over a hill with a group of other people in the very loud, somewhat discordant music - one of my most vivid dreams, not quite as vivid as such as the quetzal and silver sebright “union”, though. It also featured elements of 1901 and earlier. One person I had sent it to was so overwhelmed by the precognitive facets in it (including the eruption of Mount Pinatubo exactly as in the story - among other things) that they could not even accept it and tried to convince themselves that the postmark was somehow in error and that I had sent it to them after the events mentioned (9-11 was detailed in very precise ways in the same story, even with lines about the flames coming out on both sides of the building - but that event came years later).

Mt. Pinatubo erupted in 1991 after my wife and I had been writing for a short time. Coincidentally, my wife had written to someone prior to this for a short time (before our first contact) and relating to the Ifugao people which I also wrote about in my story - based on a dream with several levels of precognition of events over about a year all-in-one. This was a time when synchronicity was truly surreal - other people seemed to be experiencing this as well, and I know of at least one book on it regarding twin flames (Yin/Yang match-ups) and such (there were even large “no smoking” signs featuring the Yin/Yang symbol) - one person claimed that 22 led him into “Hell” with it being the only number he heard randomly from various sources for several months - whatever - this is just the “me too/two” mentality at one level, I suppose - but the world did not end (even though “two” is the English word that represents entropy) - and I found my own endless “22” repeats from everywhere and anywhere amusing, not alarming. Not only that, the United Church of Christ in the Philippines was, of origin, on my father’s birthday (including the year). “Presbyterian missionaries in the Philippines in April 1901 invited missionaries of other evangelical churches to a conference to discuss the possibility of working together in the proclamation of the gospel of faith alone as the only way of salvation for Filipino Catholics, Muslims and pagans.”

After seeing a lot of old intriguing videos and going over documents, and my wife going through a huge number of older photographs, I went back to where it began (at least on one level - technically it began before I was born). I noted the overhead view of near where I was born has a design that resembles the eight-spoked wheel (which I have seen in many forms including the “We Can Fly” video). Standing and gazing out over the ocean as a young boy - I pondered how long it would be before we were together. Standing out looking over the ocean - exact to the degree - of where she was being born.

More on the article about the “fiddler”:

“Kun Arpad, child violinist, now became a political pawn in a larger game." (The pawn is a negative, apparently, variation on the 22, a two flipped and superimposed on the other as I had shown in another entry - however, being a "pawn” of the universe is not always a negative association).

“In Boston, the Journal of Education said: ‘Why should one little boy be denied the privilege of working in a shop by day while another is allowed to work at night, work that is vastly more harmful?' A 9 year-old boy playing a violin was no match for the political machines at work here.

In August, Kun’s name appeared again in the newspapers, but this time in the society section, where he was described as entertaining guests at a few house parties in Newport, Rhode Island, the fashionable address for New England’s wealthy elite.” (where the old Cowsills “We Can Fly” video, which I had just seen for the first time in years, was filmed - more intriguing synchronicity.)

Tevye: As Abraham said, “I am a stranger in a strange land… ”
Mendel: Moses said that.
Tevye: Ah. Well, as King David said, “I am slow of speech, and slow of tongue.”
Mendel: That was also Moses.
Tevye: For a man who was slow of tongue, he talked a lot.

…from “Fiddler on the Roof

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #185: Kaleidoscope

It’s morning time and I’m preparing to give my 2-year-old son “R” a shower. This strikes me as strange because R usually takes baths and Wife’s the one who usually bathes him. I dimly recall my intent to have a lucid dream and after thinking for a moment, accept that I’m having one right now.

The layout of the room’s exactly like waking life (so far as I can tell) and there’s a window high on the wall near the shower. I hop up to it, plant my hands on the sill, and phase my head and shoulders through to the outside. It’s morning, just after dawn, and the sky glows reddish-orange.

As I’m preparing to fly off, R says, “Daddy, I want to go with you but I don’t know how to do that.” (I take this to mean that he doesn’t know how to phase.)

“That’s okay, buddy,” I respond. “This is a dream.”

For some reason I have a surge of anxiety that the dream won’t stay stable and of course my vision gets a little crazy. I leap the rest of the way through the glass and fly for just a moment before I freeze in mid-air. Seconds later, my vision goes black and I’m in the void.

I rub my hands together for a moment and then decide to change scenes by plummeting downward to the ground that I imagine is still outside. I go rocketing downward but as I hit what would be the ground, there’s a “whomp!” sound and a puff of air as I pass right through. I continue accelerating faster and faster until I crash into…

...my bed. I’m lying on my stomach, my head turned to the left. My eyes are closed and it completely feels like I’m awake, but I’m suspicious, so I try to see through my eyelids. This works and after a few seconds I’m looking out at my bedroom. The center portion of my vision swirls and blends together like a kaleidoscope. I wonder if the effect will change if I open my eyes, but I decide not to mess with anything just now.

I will myself to roll out of my body and transition into an OBE, but I can’t seem to make it happen. The kaleidoscope vision effect continues for a while until the dream eventually fades out.

was making a protein shake with grandma and i just threw lik french toast in with spinach and banana and it was like the grossest shakeever, my commendedme on m cooking skills even thoghi sucked. also it was like a snowy place and there were these 2 pandits who were diong illegal stuff so i track em down in the snow at thei mansion and took em to jail

later the next day i dreampt that i was watching porn infront of a computer screen and bella kept asking me if i ad fucked her yet. i said no and she said she was waiting infront of a crowd of a million peoppl

A while ago I was really desperate to learn how to lucid dream. But last night I experienced a false awakening.

I awoke in my bed and was worried about satan or something like that and was frantic
I realized at some point that my vision was blurry and choppy
I would look at my dresser and look away and the dresser was still in my vision
My first thought was that I was tripping or sick
I then got suspicious and tried my bedside lamp
No dice
I looked at my alarm clock
It only had a blinking 9 in the third place
I knew i was lucid then
I tried to contain my excitement as I went downstairs
My mom was coming up the stairs with a laundry basket
I was suddenly aware that I was naked
She said 'hi'
In a high pitched voice i said hi for some reason
I went downstairs and tried the kitchen lights
One bulb turned on and i got bummed
I thought i was dreaming
Then i saw the holograph of my mom walking my dog up our driveway through the kitchen wall
I ran upstairs to my sister's room ( she is in college so its empty)
There i met with Roger from American Dad but 3D
I asked if he could help me
He then kept repeating 'of course I can help you'
Then i was transported to a place with only him and a trippy orange backdrop and he was yelling "OF COURSE I CAN HELP YOU"
This was too much for me and i awoke

Will i be more likely to have lucid dreams after this?