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Notes: Daydream, ADA

I was in the home of a friend, LP. His parents were there. We were worried they won't accept us, but they seem pretty cool. The place feels very homey. The father was particularly okay, and the mom was actually thinking he's going to end up with another guy friend, LR. We just laughed it off. His father said that he can't help much with the ritual tools though.

I was on the street. Supposedly going home after meeting up with friends. The area looks a bit like in one of my dreams before, and at the same time, the area near Cubao irl, near where we take a jeep going to Eastwood. For some reason, I doubled back and waited for my friends in a place that looks very much like a blend of our high school and college irl. I waited for them, and was thinking of surprising them. A guy friend looks a bit lost and he left some money on top of the bag, which he put on the table. I was going to surprise him by pretending to grab the money, but he barely reacted, and just said he thought I was going home. I told them I had to check my bank account's balance.

I was inside a house with a lot of people. It felt like home, except not sure which home in particular. I went out and saw even more people outside. Like there's going to be a parade, and all of the people are gathering outside the streets. I was thinking of going to a store or something. Then I saw a few people with guns. I wondered what's going to happen to have people carry guns. They don't look like the police either. I hurried back home instead. We talked about what's going to happen and about the guys with guns.

I was in a building. A lot of people are there. There's some sort of a meeting. For some reason, I was hiding. I was looking at the group from a ledge in the building. Then I think a guy noticed me. I hid behind another guy's dead(?) body. I think it was a dead(?) zombie. I used it as a shield as well as a hiding place, but it looked so awkward I'm sure the guy knows I'm there. I heard him shoot the zombie a few times. Then he went a bit around. He's on lower ground. He looks up at me and said something like, "Sorry, I don't know you but...." and he shot me. Only I wasn't dead. He let his guard down, and I just observed him. Then I grabbed his hand to break his little finger. He looked surprised and more amused than afraid.

I am looking at a female friend. She seems dazed. She was holding on a Blackberry. I (or was it someone else?) was pressing stuff on touchscreen. Then she woke up.

I am looking at a caravan of sorts. A llama leading a camel. I commented to someone how tall and proud the llama looks while the camel looked so down and low. I said it's a great metaphor for kings and slaves. The camel's neck was almost nonexistent, and it was very close to the body. On the other hand, it seems that the camel can survive harsher conditions. We arrived at the destination. I saw a huge peacock with it's beautiful tail feathers spread out. It was majestic. It acts as the throne for the princess. It's that huge. However, the princess wasn't sitting on it at the time. She asked the peacock to lay down its tail feathers and it obeyed. There's another woman (is it also the princess?) who was playing with a NDS on the side.

Non-Dream
Dream
Lucid

After a routine awakening, and after lying down and relaxing for a couple minutes, I figured I would give auto-suggestion a try. I thought to myself "I want to lucid dream". A voice inside of me explained three different choices of dreams I could enter. I chose the third one. Immediately, my bed started spinning. As the bed was spinning, I could feel it moving out of my bedroom, downstairs, and out of the house. I was teleported to my grandmas family room where I was standing in front of a man.

He asked,"Could you ask my son if he's allergic to oak or yellow?". I went and asked the boy who was sitting nearby watching tv. He told me yellow. I went back to the man and told him.

He asked,"Could you go and tell him his momma's boss fired her?". As I went back to ask the boy, I noticed on the tv there was a lot of fire and explosions. I told the boy the bad news.

"Aw, cheets!" he exclaimed. I woke up.

Yeah, kind of slept late night, like 4AM late. Woke up around 11AM. I had some thoughts floating around in my mind, but I wasn't sure these were dreams I had last night until morning, or if I was creating a dream scene for myself.

Camera Project (7:06)

My sister needs to borrow my camera ASAP for a class project which I assume is due this morning. I give it to her somehow and head to my own class, Discrete Math. On the way I get a text from Mom saying that my sister has gotten really depressed about this project, since now she can't get the pictures off of the camera. I feel stupid for not realizing that she would need the CD to install the camera's driver onto her computer. I'm not even sure where that CD is, nowadays. I might have packed it in one of those boxes I've been meaning to send home. It'll take a while to find it for her. But that's actually okay, I suddenly realize, because I don't have class this morning--it's Monday, and Discrete Math is on Tuesdays. Today I don't have class until the afternoon. Only, maybe the project was already due, in which case I can do nothing to help. On the off chance it will do some good, I head back towards my dorm.

By means of a cutscene [or something], I see that Dad's given my sister a call, to say in no uncertain terms that he is totally unsympathetic to her plight. I also see that my sister is standing in a grassy lawn, crying, waiting for her boyfriend to come with roses and make her feel better. I think that's a bit of an immature thing to use a boyfriend for.

Old Folk's Home

I'm about to walk away from the building when I decide, regretfully, that I might as well go back there to practice viola. I don't like that building. That one weird professor lives in it, and it's basically an old folk's home. I turn around and walk back, noticing that there are a lot of string quartets and small bands rehearsing on the sidewalk, all in a row. Huh.

Inside, I wander around the building for a while. There is a shallow spiral staircase to the second floor. I feel old myself as I climb them, since my recent sickness has left me lethargic enough that I have to put both feet on each step. This frustrates me, so I decide to challenge myself and try the other staircase: a much steeper one going up the middle of the spiral staircase, with golden steps that are individually suspended on ropes from the ceiling. It turns out to be very hard, since there's nothing to stop the steps from swinging back and forth like so many swings. I have to grab a rope to prevent myself from falling off. One of the women working at desks on the second floor notices my plight and demonstrates proper use of the staircase. She has no trouble walking all the way down. But there's not really a trick to it; you just have to be very coordinated. I can't believe anyone thought that this staircase was a good idea. It seems dangerous. In describing this staircase, later, I call it a "Margo Walk."

Back on the first floor, I meet a nice old woman and her friend. As a test, the woman has us alternate numbers, counting to ten in German. It gets off to a slow start, because I was confused by her accent and I expected she was going to ask for Korean. Then I ask her how to say "forty" in German, because I only know twenty and thirty. [IRL: I didn't even know "thirty"; I was confusing it with "thirteen."] She seems confused, thinking that I should have asked how to say "forty-four," I guess because it's more fun to say. It's an interesting approach to linguistics, I suppose. She has to think a long time about "forty." Has she been speaking English for so long that she forgot her native language?

Then it's time for lunch, and as a group we set off for the dining room. I wonder if the'll want me to sit next to them. I decide not to risk being unwelcome, and I sit at the end of the table instead. Then I notice that somehow my place doesn't have a plate with food, while almost everyone else's does. I decide I'll just be patient, but in the meantime I'm worried that some of the people here will start fussing over me, thinking that my not having a plate is a dreadful tragedy, or something. I look around the table at the old faces around me, trying to reconcile myself to the idea of old age. I guess for the most part they're good-looking, in their own ways.

[I think I came back to this lunchroom on various other occasions. I began to feel a bit like a freeloader for eating lunch here almost every day, but on the other hand I would feel rude abandoning everyone just before the meal. And the food was pretty good.]

Are We Watching Porn?

Spoiler for sexual content:

I'm in the basement with a group of kids my age. There are about a dozen TVs down here, all showing similar videos. At first, the content is pretty innocuous. But there's this one video with two women. Somehow their clothes start disappearing, and somehow what they're doing is stimulating to one of the women. After a minute she gasps and says, "That was SO GOOD!" At this point, I'm a little confused and uncomfortable (and aroused); I thought these videos were about something else. Everyone else seems confused too; another guy asks, "Are we watching porn?" In response, a few people laugh. By now, everyone in all of the videos is naked.

Lucid?

[I remember that I was lucid at some point in the night. I was looking at a natural landscape and appreciating the detail. Then I tried to look upwards, and the lights dimmed and I lost all visuals.]

Stamitz Viola Concerto (9:23)

I'm talking to someone in the entrance hall of an old-ish building. I hear a viola behind me, and suddenly I recognize the music as the theme from the first movement of the Stamitz viola concerto. Sweet! I look around at the player, who turns out to be a forty-odd, balding man. I notice that he's playing the accompaniment parts as well, using double stops. For that reason, he's playing well under tempo. Also, sometimes he has to break a long solo note into repeated shorter notes, since the accompaniment underneath is changing. Wow, this guy's good. I feel very inept in comparison.

Ritual of the Children

I'm sitting in a common room when a girl comes in from outside. She starts talking to some friends of hers, telling them about a meeting she just attended with a famous person, who actually just sent out a tweet about the meeting that involved a play on words on the girl's name. She's pretty happy about this.

Later, I come back into the common room. The girl's already there. I sit next to her and try to start up a conversation. We talk about her name. Turns out her name is Sadie Hawkins, which is also the name of a type of school dance. I'm surprised I didn't make this connection the first time I heard it. I suppose that must be because I heard it in the context of a play on words. I try to explain this to her, but my explanation is something along the lines of, "Oh, I guess that makes sense, because . . . you know, it was . . . right?" Immediately afterward, I feel embarrassed for being so terribly awful at communication. I think I was afraid to explain it directly, because that would mean admitting that I eavesdropped on her conversation.

Then a bunch of ten-year-old kids come into the room and start doing a ritual. Then it's time for lunch, but we have time to shower first, if we want. I do want to, so I try to head down the hallway to the bathroom. But the entrance is like two feet too short for my head. I suppose this hallway must be reserved for the ten-year-olds. They have their own hallway? This is weird. Whatever. I go down the hallway to the left, which takes me to the bathroom.

It's dark in here, and crowded. I open the first door that I come to, but it's a toilet stall, not a shower. I keep looking for a shower, but instead I come upon a row of turnstiles in the right wall. The kids are lined up behind them, entering one at a time. If this is their entrance, then I probably went past the showers. And I'd better find one soon, because it will be even more crowded here before long.

Tropical Island

[I am awake at the beginning of this dream.]

I know that it is almost time to wake up, but I decide to see if I can fall asleep into a dream landscape of my choosing. [Sort of like a WILD, I guess, but I didn't use that terminology at the time.] I decide that I will attempt to enter the dream quickly by visualizing myself falling from a great height. I picture a field of rolling plains, and in the distance there is a tall group of rocks with almost vertical sides. I am at the top of those rocks, I decide. The view starts to zoom in on the rocks. I still feel like I'm just picturing this in my head, not dreaming it, which frustrates me. Eventually I zoom in on myself, and then I fall backwards off of the cliff. [I can't remember the details of the event.]

I've landed on a beach, in the surf, though it takes a few moments for me to get my bearings. Somehow this is not what I wanted to happen, but a voice tells me that I should be feeling very comfortable right now (seeing as how this is a tropical island), so I should try to enjoy myself. I wade into the water, but almost immediately I notice something floating in the water near me that looks like dog poop. Eww. I try to wade away from it, but a trick of the current seems to make it follow me. Once, I think I've gotten away from it, only to look again a moment later and find that it's back. Then I notice that there's a current under the surface that's making a lot of stuff collide with my legs on its way past me. Seaweed, perhaps. In any case, it's gross. This is not fun.

Was walking in some forest with a bunch of people, who were presumably from my class. We were there for a goal but i don't clearly remember what exactly, it felt a lot like some kind of MMO as there were creatures attacking us and we defended ourselves against them. I regularly walked off and went to do stuff on my own to get chests (probably so i could keep the loot) but when i returned there was one from the group who clearly wasn't happy about it. He kept telling me that i keep walking off and that i should with as a team with them. I can't remember anything else and didn't recognise the people i was with.

Was playing Super Mario Sunshine, trying to do some sort of challenge but i was just messing around, only half trying what i should be trying. I then suddenly go from ingame to my living room, where me, my sister and a friend of hers were sitting, discussing my sister's friend's birthday present. the conversation doesn't really go anywhere but i didn't actually properly recognise her as the friend i thought she was.

Was on the way back home with my family when we stopped at an icecream shop. I took my time deciding what i was going to pick (there were lots of choices). Eventually i just go with something and we leave the shop, we didn't even pay which was very weird. We went home and i started unlocking the door but the dream ended right there.

Was in a game called Final Fantasy 6 with me and my team (apparently). We were caught by the main evil from the game called Kefka, and he had full control over us. He made us go somewhere to do i don't know what but he really seemed happy as he couldn't stop laughing (like he did in the game). I don't recognisde where we were even in the game but i was sure about the setting.

Was at home in my room, which i recognised clearly. I had certain objectives to complete and i had several already completed but my father wasn't happy about it because he insisted it was dangerous. I tell him i'm going to school and he asks if i need a lift to there and i say it's fine since it's only school and it's very close, which it actually isn't. I don't remember what the objectives were but the ones i did before took pretty long and were very hard.

First entry. Just had a normal dream last night, so might as well write the few things I remember about it down.

-

I was playing some game with my friends and one of the people we were playing against was a proper asshole. Skip forward, and apparently he had infected my computer with a virus. I remember being very angry that I had to change my passwords, while I was walking in a park.

-

That would be all .. Hopefully I remember the following ones better!

Okay, so for a couple months I was plagued by nightmares of Slenderman. I finally decided that I'd had enough and came here. I got a lucid dream on my third try. I don't remember it in great detail, but it went like this:

I was in Barnes and Noble during some big book sale, and there were tons of people. For some reason, I just got that feeling that you get in dreams sometimes when you can just tell it's going to turn into a nightmare (You know that feeling, right?) For some reason, I just decided to do one of my reality checks and sure enough my finger went right through my hand. That's when Slendy walked in.

Everybody ran away, and I just stood there staring right at it. Someone shouted at me to run but I said to no one in particular that I wasn't going to run away anymore. After a few seconds of standoff Slenderman went multi-armed and reached towards me. That's where it gets a little fuzzy, but I remember we had this huge battle and I pounded the crap out of him. I tackled him through a window into the mall (the Barnes and Noble near me is in a mall). I thought I'd killed him, but he got back up. I was ready for round to, but he just stared at me for a second and then walked away. I don't know if that means he'll come back, but I'm just glad he's gone for now.

?

11.23.2012

A New End (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Realizing that I don't have the project I'm supposed to be working on, I remember that I had handed it to Alex after lunch for her to take back to the room. Upon asking her, she admits that she accidentally left it in her last class. She agrees to go get it if I walk with her. "What building is it in?" I ask. She says some weird name that I've never heard of. I figure it must be something specifically for music students.

As we are walking from our dorm, I notice some people eating and I become extremely hungry. I also have a horrible feeling that today somehow marks the end of the world. I tell Alex that I want to eat some really good food since it might just be our last meal. She wants to know what I mean, so I tell her about my feeling. "Why would the world randomly end today?" she asks.

"I don't know... But still, it's close to dinner time and I want food."

We make it to her class and she gives me back my project. She points to a sign on the far end of the warehouse-like building that says something along the lines of "Suzie's Corner."

"That's a good place to eat," she tells me. I am amazed that there is a restaurant in here that I've never heard of before. Weird...

When we go over there to get food, there are a lot of men in construction get-up walking around working. Something feels really off all of a sudden. The restraunt is near the opening of the building, and it becomes apparent that all is not well outside. In fact, there appears to be a growing congregation of zombies.

"Are those... zombies?" I ask, not sure whether to believe my eyes.

"Um... looks like it," Alex answers incredulously.

As we search the zombie infested campus for our friends, it becomes clear that these are not normal zombies. They are fast moving when they want to be, and they have limited speech capabilites (mainly to assure their victims that they won't bite them). They also seem to have no desire to eat human flesh, only to infect. It later becomes apparent that they are extremely interested in candy, so I refer to them as Adventure Time zombies.

Along the way, we find several of our friends who are alive and well. But each one of them soon falls prey to the zombies, one by one. At one point, I am holding a girl I know as she cries--- her best friend had just become a zombie and I barely stopped her from turning the girl into one.

Soon, I feel as though I'm the only human left. Alex is still alive, no doubt, but we have become separated and it would be foolish to stay here. So I manage to escape campus (despite the blockade attempt made by the zombies), and begin walking through a stretch of woods towards the city.

It is not long before I'm attacked by a possibly infected weasle. I stomp on the thing several times, clearly crushing it's back, but it keeps coming at me! Finally I hold it down with one foot and grind my other foot into its head until it dies.

I am somewhat disturbed by my brutality towards this animal, which causes me to abruptly become lucid. Yes! I fly toward the city, currently content with just exploring. But I become briefly distracted by a scene that I will not describe here.

I leave the distraction behind, somewhat annoyed at myself, and head further into the city. Alex suddenly catches up with me and asks what I'm doing. "I'm dreaming," I tell her, "so I guess I'm going to look for something fun to do." She asks if she can come with me and I agree.

The dream deteriorates when I run into my mom, and her pushiness makes me lose lucidity.

Hey, This dream was really memorable. The beginning part is really just the introduction, and not really when the action start. So I bolded the part where the actual adventure start.

I'm at school. Or what is supposed to be my school, but this looks different compared to real life. anyways, I'm walking to class and then this situation comes up. (this is during the morning time, when school just started). On of the staff from the office comes up to me and say that they've made a mistake, and that they have put me in the wrong class. (let me tell you that in the dream, it feels like i've been in this school a hardy long time, so i got used to everybody in my class. now there making me change). I am shocked, and pretty resistant at 1st (as in i say things like I can't leave now) but then give in and go to my new class. Some people, like Tabria, was in this class (and she was in my old class) but i didnt seem to put 1 and 1 together. So here i am, doing work for the class and i can actually remember it. the teacher, whom i also know in real life, is are chemistry teacher. she handed out this stack of paper and told us to do that. she was giving us work all day, and i think i was just ignoring the work. something else was on my mind i just didnt know what. A few other small things happened during that class day like how a saw mychelle. she was sitting behind me. When i turned around she just smiled. another thing was that i was walking in the class and i saw my headphones on a chair. it was broke!!!! i swear i was so heartbroken by that. It wasn't broke beyond repair or anything. it was just that the back of on one of the headphone split apart from the rest of the base, but it was still dangling in mid air by a string connecting them together. So i'm trying to fix it when Tabria ( a girl in the class) comes out of no where and says " hey that's my headphones". i swear i know she's only saying this to piss me off. But she has this really serious look on her. but i already also know that she's good at fooling people with her expressions. i tell her " no. it's mineS" and we just stare at eachother for a while until she gives in and say "I'm just playing", and smile. jeez.
[This is a side story to everything because i don't know when this happened exactly. Well i'm in this room with these to other kids from school (uche and Brandon). They are playing this video game, most likely a parady t call of duty Black ops 2. Brandon and Uche are both using a controller, but there is only one tv and they are not playing on split screen so i do not know what's going on. Until i notice the second, smaller tv that Brandon is looking at. I literally get sucked into the games( like i usually do when i look at a videogame for too long) and i am the guy uche is playing. Long story short, i hide, i try to assassinate, i fail, i die. when i die i come back to real life]

class is over and i find myself running out. I am looking for someone. I am in a serious hurry too. (I forgot who i was looking for when i woke up though) I rush outside, i feel like i'm going to slow. my belt loosens up and i have to adjust it while running, slowing me down. by the time i get to the busses, i cant find him/her. I ask someone if that person rode a bus and they told me that he walks home. I gave up on the idea that i was going to find him/her today. I see Alyssa, Christina, and some other people who i forgot near this door. I followed them inside, and shut the door. Then we just hung out there for a while. There was a time where it got really emotional ( not for me, for the girls). like Alyssa was asking me what is christina to me, and i'm like " a Friend". Christina looks disappointed, and Alyssa says "what about a best friend?" and i'm like " thats what i meant." christina starts smiling and i just push her around playfully. we're all sitting down btw. there are other conversation going on but the feeling i felt the most was love. I felt like how things were now, it wasn't so bad. It was time t leave. Christina and Alyssa had to get on their busses.

I opened the door........ Something is different. something is wrong. for starters, the world in general felt different, like everything changed when we were in that room. like the whole world changed without us. More physically, the environment we were supposed to see changed. the busses we were supposed to get on were gone. There were kids here, but they didn't seem like kids. And it's not just because they were holding guns ( didt want to forget to mention that). They also looked un-human, but human. We were quiet. all the people who were in the closet didn't say a word. We had no idea what we were seeing. We just started wandering together on this path. I wonder what was going on in everyone else's head. for me it was just nothing. well not true. i was wondering what happened to my family. We were walking past this crop field when we saw this white van. A man was in there. My first instinct was to get away from him. He said he was going to take us away and recruit us or something. i wasn't going to let that happen. so I ran. I don't know if everyone else ran, but i guess it didn't matter since it only looked like he was coming for me. When i first ran away from him it looked like i was already far enough to be considered safe away from him (tsk tsk tsk) he threw this projectile that made this explosion a few meters away from me. I fell to the floor. I started hearing his van come closer. i would be kidnapped if i didnt do something, so i started running away from him. all the while he was saying this " You can run away from me, but i is useless. Once i hit you with one of my weapons, you will be hurt really bad. And only i have the time ball (This is not the exact name he said but the word TIME was in it) which can heal you. Once i catch you i will train you in battle. Maybe one day I wont have to do this anymore, but until then I must". That was basically the gist of what he said. Hell if i knew half of what he was talking about. Listening to his speech, however, made me realize that he wasn't really the bad guy. well more like that he just wanted to survive. I dunno how to explain it. either way i still wasnt going to let his ass catch me. so i ran. I'm in the crop field running. he uses this other weapon thats on his car that slices the crops as he drive by them. there were tons of times when he almost got me. But i always barely made it. Somehow i was able to lose him, so i started to run back to the spot where i split up with everyone. When I got back, I found them. But they changed. I knew it was them but they didn't look like what they did. They all seemed to change with the world like everyone else did. I wonder if i also changed. I can only remember there being Me, Alyssa, Christina, And this girl with yellowish orange hair. They all looked like they belong in an adventure anime.( I think The girl with orange hair actually is from an anime). I think ALyssa had a tail! Scene changes. It's been a while since the day the world change. Like a moth, or maybe even more. We grouped up with some other people, and even found a dog. other stuff happened i just don't remember right now. so i'll go to the part i remember the most, the end. we are pushing this dog on top this makeshift sled mad out of 12 pack soda cans. we crashed him into something. I thing he turned into a battery. lol. He is mixed in with the soda can and i make a joke saying that the battery was buzzed ( haha, get it? no?) dream fades.

I appear in another dream, I'm at a very familiar place, the place where I grew up. It's very sunny and some families are playing with their children. I'm on one of the more elevated places, in the middle of a patch of grass. I become lucid immediately, and I remain at the place. I think "Okay, I'm dreaming, this is a dream" "What do I feel? Can I feel my body" "What are the 5 senses again.. uhm... "okay, I can feel, can I see? What do I see?" This is when the ground randomly tries to eat me, I attempt to get up but I struggle. The ground has swallowed my legs, but I manage to get up. (this is actually weird for me, I rarely actually see my body)

I walk forward a few meters to tarmac and start spinning while I say "I'm dreaming, this is all just a dream" I stop spinning because I'm afraid if I continue it will collapse the dream.. It's very vivid, but still very far from being close to reality. I don't really hear anything, I can't really feel anything, no sun, no wind. I have absolutely no smell. But the visual part is on the better end, even though it's far from being reality. I can really only "focus" on one thing at a time, but the focused thing looks pretty real.

This is where I get bored and sexually attack a woman running after her child. I was actually questioning my choice at one point "Hmm, maybe I shouldn't, this is an inappropriate place" Then I realize I'm being naive and that this is all just a reality created by my brain. I pin her to the ground stomach down, take of her dress and penetrate her, although only the tip of my penis could get in, it was a lot more vivid than it has been before. At this point her upper body is completely gone. I didn't seem to mind, as I was beginning to lose lucidity and understanding of what was going on. I didn't really feel arousal or pleasure except for the excitement over being lucid. I see a white blurry cast over my vision and I lose the dream.