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I'm in a hotel of some sort. I was staying on the fourth floor (I know this because when I opened my door it said "04.012"). In and around the hotel people were working (moving stuff and painting, stuff like that). There was this girl that appeared to be my girlfriend. We teased each other a bit, then we kissed. The next moment she came around the corner with a friend of hers who was weeping. A family member had died. For some reason I had to kiss my girlfriend's hand (it was tradition, which I didn't know). When I didn't really knew why she put her hand out she looked at me in a weird way. The next moment she was standing with a couple of her girlfriends. I joined them, she made a joke about me. I played that I was mad, and left for my hotelroom, hoping she would follow me. I sensed she was following me, the dream then faded and I woke up.

Sorry, weird dream.

I took a nap this evening and had a dream that was grotesquely gory (yet strangely beautiful [in a sense]). I was pretty much watching myself tear through my flesh with a gun (a MAC-10 I beleive? Idk, something automatic) and then eventually dying once I was nothing more than a mound of sopping flesh. Not nearly as pretty a sight as it sounds, I assure you. The dream then went on and kind of showed me a "what if" and gave me a rundown of various things I was missing out on now that I was dead. The dream ended with me and this girl that I'm almost, kinda, sorta, not really but in a sense I am with in real life. I think. Yeah... I don't get it either. I get the feeling like I'm "just a friend" but then there are times where it seems like it's more than that. As if she wasn't hard enough to read already, now there's this other guy that she kind of seems to have a thing for as well. Oh god, what if I'm one of those pathetic saps that don't realize they're being strung along... Does this mean I have to start laughing at myself now? D: It's complicated and you probably don't even care so I'm not going to go into it any further. Anyways, the dream replayed my first kiss which was with her a while back.

Not the most pleasant dream I've had, rather disturbing actually, but I enjoyed it nonetheless because of the rush of relief that followed when I woke up.

Mom and i where making a bed, it had a white bed sheet and a green blanket over it that we where putting on. Mom told me that her dad inspected her bed and if it wasn't right he would yell and scream at her. The dream ended.

I was at Anthony's house from school. He and I where standing in the living room, I don't remember much of what it looked like. He asked me if I wanted to play Doom on Playstation, but stupid ole me didn't know what Doom or Playstation was. We walked into his room, I remember seeing a carpet palish white in color and white walls. For some odd reason I wasn't wearing my shoes which I wear everywhere but the shower and my bed. He sat down on the floor cross legged, I sat down to his right with my legs folded under me facing him. The dream ended.

At first my dream started off with me getting off the bus to go stay at some house with two girls. I don't know why I was staying there it just was kind of like instict. We walked off the bus and the girl said something like it's only a little stroll to the house. Soon we got close, we had walked behind the whole forest to find a hidden house, it had blue shutters and doors. We enetered the house and immediatley her grandma came out of the bathroom and walked away. Then the dream skipped.

I was now on a bus with one of my friends in irl sitting beside me. I sat there quietly as the bus made a stop. Some people loaded on and we were on our way again. I noticed one of the persons was one of my good friends. They walked toward me, however they began to talk to my friend beside me. Then randomly she grabbed my hands and it felt so real, I could feel everything. Afterwards she said she had to go and got off the bus. Then the bus made a random stop and I got off of it. The bus drove off, however I decided to look behind me and I saw the bus crash and immediatley burst into a flaming wreck. I thought to myself at least my one friend got off safely. I immediatley ran towards a car with a man inside. Somehow I was now in Britian and everybody had british accents. I asked him if he could dial the emergency number, since I didn't know what it was in Britian. He ended up dialing 8967 or 8968. Nothing happened and I randomly forgot about the bus at that point. Then some other DCs came up and wanted to test us on our knowledge about different types of molds. The molds were handed out and I told them that I hadn't learned half of these in science class. Actually irl I dint know anything about molds and we definatley never had a science class about mold. SOnn after, the dream ended.

Just to remind you, always remember to have incredibly sweet dreams.

I was inside some kind of huge mall building with many semi-mossy stone walls in the inside. I'm sitting on a wooden bench attached to one of these walls in the middle of a square area looking after a younger version of my little sister when two girls from my year at school walk past. Let's call the Caitlin and Georgia, the latter of the two i barely know in real life. So Georgia comes up to me and asks if I've already been asked to go with someone this October. At first I didn't know what she meant, but then I thought of the school ball (which in reality my year can't go to until next year) and said no, I haven't been asked. I then say did you want to go with me? She sheepishly nods and says "Yeah". So I reply "Yeah for sure I'd like to go with you, it'll be nice." She smiles and blushes and says "Thanks" to which I reply "No worries". She then walks back to Caitlin and I assume she tells her our conversation because then Georgia looks over to me and I smile, making her giggle flirtaciously. I then walk up to them and say to Georgia "I guess I'll see you then" and they then walk off and I hear Caitlin saying I'm 'such a kiwi bloke'

Deleted

The dream started with me back in high school sitting in the cafeteria listening to a speech from my principal. I kept talking to my friends and making jokes and he started to get pissed. He kept telling me to be quiet and pay attention. After the 3rd time he was like Derrick come over here right now, I walked over and he was like so do you wanna swordfight me? In the dream I knew he was a master swordsman, but I was like sure I'll do it looking for some entertainment. We walked over to the middle of the area and I saw two fencing outfits and two swords. The fencing outfits had nothing to do with the swords, the swords were quite long and flexible and bended when you swung them it was like in this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbz8U...eature=related And no the fighting wasn't like this lol and we weren't wearing strange clothes, anddd we didn't have shields.

Anyway there is what we call "the pit" at our school and its a mini amphitheater we were fighting inside that, and all i remember is the sword was very flexible and foreign. It felt like he was literally trying to kill me but I was confident in my dream so I didn't die. He kept cutting my hands with the blade and I could feel the sting. The fighting was very vivid I felt every blow and every strike I took and was thinking about the next moves I was going to make to beat him. My hands were way too cut up so I changed my plan, he was wearing a neck brace so he had limited movement in his vision and he could hardly move his head at a large angle. I ran through the crowd of people around to the back side of him and sliced him in the back. He once again found out my plan and started to throw powerful blows at me. We were about 10 feet away from eachother and that's when my fighting skills all of the sudden increased and I became aware of how to fight. I blocked his attacks with counter blows of the same force to knock his rhythm off. Once again I circled around him to get into his blind spot, this time he fled into a nearby elevator before he got into it I swung my whip blade and hit a pure gold watch off of his hand. I grabbed it and threw it inside the elevator as he started going up. I won the fight

After that I remember talking to him and him saying how good of a fighter I was and that I had great potential. He also thanked me for giving his watch back. And that was the end and a bunch of other less consistent dreams appeared after that.

26.04.2011

No Big Get-Off (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

*Sexually explicit (though rather clinical, lol. No big get-off to be had here :p)
*Rough draft

Visuals took over my meditation. I wasn’t that tired, this has been happening lately. I want to research this. It kind of feels like falling asleep but sometimes I’m aware of my body and the binaural water sounds I’m listening to as well. Maybe sleep paralysis? I really should read up.

Walking in my home
I used to live with a man here but I broke up with him, I think
I see some items that are colorful, 3 that go together
I'm in the bed we used to sleep in together. I lay around a bit. At one point looking out the large window and the white light barely tinted with blue.

I decide to give head to myself
Wondering if I’d like the taste
The taste wasn’t very obvious; it was fine
I want to try different things
I’m reacting to it and can feel it at the same time
I see my hips lift, but I feel like I'm laying below myself at the same time with my head between my legs, of course. :p
It was pretty clinical. I was figuring out my anatomy and pleasure reactions more than really trying to get off.
Kinda tentative at first
Licking it feels nice but too general
Sucking on my clit is pretty pleasurable I think
Pressing my chin onto it
The general pressure feels very good, like I could eventually cum like that
Hips lifting in reaction to the pleasure I’m giving myself
Pressing hard makes my chin and pubic bone pretty sore, but my clit is happy. I stop the chin method
grazing my teeth against my clit feels like a bit of a stab of pleasure, a bit too intense but a nice “jump start” to be used occasionally
Nibbling my clit with my teeth feels too sharp

A man comes over and we’re going to a concert together, some alternative rock group I used to like pretty well in high school but wasn’t that crazy about

Got into the car with one of the guys who came to my house, we’re driving together. I’m driving, and the other guy has another car. He is a bit surly. We go to the corner convenience store. Something somewhat significant happens inside (with the man at the counter? I was watching through the window?)

I remember I have to get something for the concert, a set of 3 items that pertain to the band. The items are important. One was a kind of book. They were like a key to something and would be recognized (by the band?). The surly guy was annoyed. I brushed his annoyance off.

We had time, there would be an opening band, I imagined and told the guy in my car. He agreed and said something about me being on top of the planning. I questioned that I was, thinking I had procrastinated and that I was lucky there is probably an opening band which I hadn’t taken into account before. I thought that if there wasn’t an opening band we’d be late.

Driving into my old small curved driveway (where I lived in waking life in high school). When entering it I focus on its small entrance and how it is pretty awkward to veer into it but I do. A tree has overgrown but I pull up enough for the guy in the car behind to have easier access to the house's door as well. The tree’s branches come into the window and they’re more solid than I’d thought. They kinda hurt and I wonder about being able to open the door.

I had the 3 items I think, got to the concert, there are different rooms/areas
The concert hasn’t started in the main, larger area. The opening group will play in a smaller room that we go to. There are chain link fences. I sit on the bleachers. I am alone, the man has gone off somewhere and will come back and I think the surly guy left a bit before that.

Old school, old teacher, Claudia and another
Claudia was being strict about the students sitting in rows of two. Katie, a student, kept sitting where she wanted over and over. Claudia kept correcting/directing her. Katie seemed like she was somewhat unconscious of her actions, and also quietly (subconsciously, perhaps) angry and dismissing, like she was telling them to leave her the hell alone silently.

I didn’t have a very good seat. I'm in the section to the side of the area where the students were sitting. The other teacher (Leigh?) called my name as if I was still a student. I knew it was a better seat and she gave me a look like she knew I wasn’t supposed to be grouped with them but she was going to pretend she didn’t and make an exception so I could have a better seat. After a couple moments’ hesitation I stood, picked up my backpack and another item, and went to go sit there. Claudia noticed and said something. The other teacher gave a vague argument about why I should be fine sitting there. Claudia was strict, enforced the rules. Leigh gave me a subtly exasperated look mixed with a c'est la vie look about Claudia. I kinda shrugged and sat back down and felt a little embarrassed in front of the students.

I saw a man I had dream memories of. We had been around each other regularly. He was like Adam (a man who had been a gay porn star I used to be friendly with in waking life. We always had a fun time, joking and being silly and also emotionally and physically affectionate. He had one of those vibrant, open personalities that didn’t seem needy, more just loving. He did little things, like when I was a waitress and had been serving him and his life partner, he poked his head into the back of the restaurant where I was making espressos and handed me the folded-up tip all furtive-like. He whispered matter-of-factly, “thanks for the blowjob.”, turned, and went back to his table. Leaving me cracking up. Very deadpan and playful at the same time, so much fun.) So, this dream character had the spirit of Adam and looked like Ozzy Osbourne (they are a bit similar in looks in some ways in waking life).

I recalled dream memories of being around him daily because of people we were friends with. They seemed rich and extravagant. He and I would peripherally interact in these memories and there was a sadness there too, like we were sad we had a lot of distance between us. When I saw him at the concert, he was guarded emotionally. I initiated talking with him and he was hesitant. I told him I miss seeing him every day. He started to warm up and we linked arms and walked as we talked. He was surprised I missed him, saying “you did?” and I could feel him melting. I reaffirmed that I did. He warmed up a little more and invited me on a skiing trip and started to name-drop a bit about people who would be there (in real life he spent time and was close to famous people and he, or at least they, tended to like to name drop). It felt kinda cold and superficial, but I was excited at the prospect of going at the same time.

Our walking took us down, into what felt like the basement/garage of this amphitheater. He wanted to show it to me.

annoyed at waste, men working

Trenches for planks of wood, band members one of whom was shooting up

I’m outdoors, walking on a long balcony. Men to my left in rooms working on projects (with saws and whatnot…you know, picking up heavy objects and putting them back down) My thumb caught on a round electric saw attached to and hanging over the balcony’s railing. The tooth of the saw was slightly deformed and it was caught on my thumb without scraping much. I carefully extract my thumb so as not to cut myself more and reflect on that. The saw feels like it almost has a hold on it.There is some pain.

Grey’s anatomy short black doctor woman "Nazi" and another familiar but not famous woman had been trying to flag me down before then with some papers she wanted me to sign. I had seen but had been doing some other things. She expressed annoyance. I held my boundaries and stayed good natured.The solid short woman took my thumb; it was bleeding. Her finger came close to touching the cut/scrape like she was fascinated. I pulled it away before she could touch it and was like, don’t touch it! Um, aren’t you like a doctor? She kinda shrugged and looked to the side.

I felt emotionally strong in this dream
Another man (a doctor?) asks me out. I wasn’t expecting him too. I felt comfortable and wanted him to. He was kind of constrained but I understood why.

Cousin, aunt/CJ/Diane Hamilton interruption of me and the man.

At that point I lost the sense of emotional expression balanced with a calm and acceptance stance toward my emotions that held their intensity in check without trying to. I got angry and quiet.

Woke breathing hard, angry…with Charles in Charge theme song going through my mind, lmao. It is still being sung in my mind as I write this. Joy…*crazy face*

Oh, and my thumb still kind of hurts. When I picked up my laptop to write this the pressure and roughness of the cushion exacerbated the pain a bit.

I just had to record this dream because it was so very strange and creepy. I wish I could remember all the details..

I was in an old building and had to use the bathroom but I noticed this old man following me. I tried to ignore him and locked myself in a stall but something didn't feel quite right. I looked around and saw the old man peeking out at me from the top of the stall! Right when I looked at him he looked away and pretended to be gone, which was stupid. I went out of the stall and starting running away from him and he started chasing me around the building. I wish I could remember more details but here is were I blanked.. I don't know what happened but I think he apologized to me and he seemed like a good man again to me for some reason and I fell in love with him. We were together and happy. The end. Creepy, huh?

You'll see problems though when you start to apply it to things on the fringes of your beliefs, like if you can scarcely believe that it will, or can, happen.

There are other problems like hidden beliefs that work against you without you even realizing it.

Then there are conflicting beliefs that eat into each other's power to produce (ex. "the early bird gets the worm." vs. "He who hesitates is lost.").

Knowing yourself and your beliefs is key to getting it to work right and regularly.

Much like in dreams, belief is a tool and the better you use it the more you will get from it.

i was angry, my brother did something to me. i was so angry that i didnt care about anything but getting the anger out.
so i took my computer monitor(19), as he was walking downstairs, i dropped the monitor right on him, from upstairs.
the monitor splintered on impact, not really hurting my brother.
i was still angry, even for a while i didnt regret what i had done, until i wanted to go on my computer. but in the end everything was good, i ended up getting a whole new computer, a fancy one whit

then in woke up discovering it was all just a dream, realising that i was stuck with my old shit.

Dream Journal #1 May 4th, 2011

didn’t remember much of my dreams last night… they were very vague. i still haven’t managed to go lucid, i think i fell asleep. one of the very first dreams i remember last night was seeing people from my school such as danette hampton and tyler. tyler was wearing dillans jacket? and im pretty sure tyler was in at least 2 of my 3 dreams. craazy. he could be a dream sign, especially if he was wearing dillans jacket. i was in physics class, and tyler was in my seat with dillans jacket. i seemed to get pissed at him for being there, so me and lukas forced him out of my seat and i think? i karate chopped him in the stomach and he was like oww or something. lol. my mind went blank from there, i dont really remember what happened after that. i woke up, it was around 1:00 am, did a reality check. phone was working, clock was right, drank some water and went back to bed to try to WILD.

2nd dream i was having flashes of this one girl cynthia mendez, and i was making out with her. i tried to feel her body and everything and i told myself, “this is a dream” and everything went black and i woke up. i don’t know if i went lucid or not because that dream wasn’t very vivid… it was just images in my head. there was no setting or anything, just her face. there might have been other girls faces popping up in my head… but i don’t remember. woke up again, was 3:00 am. did another reality check. i tried to turn off the fan that was in front of my face and the switch broke, and i was like “…” but i realized i was still in reality. so i just turned the fan away and went back to sleep

3rd and final dream i remember (i think), wasnt that vivid either. i dont remember much of it.. all i remember was asking jae (another person from my school) if he had any superpowers??? im not sure if i asked him if it was about superpowers… my mind is fading on this dream, i thought i remembered it quite well before i started writing this lol. anyways, he said yes, and all his friends turned into autobots and they combined together to form this giant transformer. in the back of my head i was like “im dreaming” again, and everything went black and my concious woke up even though my eyes were still closed. blah this is so frusturating, my dreams don’t seem vivid enough to be lucid. i don’t know if i’m not doing it at the right time, like if i’m missing my REM cycle and im trying to be lucid during nREM.

i remember black gaps in between my dreams, and im not sure if i was dreaming during those black gaps. oh well, im constantly doing reality checks even though i know im in reality, just to practice lol.

edit: Just remembered @ around 9:55 am today that I had another dream. this one, i believe, happened during my REM, probably because i remember it as being more vivid than the others. it still wasn’t THAT vivid, but just a tad more. i was in someones house, it looked like my uncles house. in what was supposed to be the kitchen, there was a computer, and there was another computer in the living room. my friend from school (again) named steven was here with me, and we were playing some sort of game. i dont remember the game exactly, but i know it was either this or that. my cousin alvin might have been in the dream too.. im not exactly sure. then i think the dream switched. i was in front of the house now on the lawn. and for some odd reason, i had to move a white car out of the way. i don’t know why i had to move it or for what reason, but i eventually moved it onto the grass of the front lawn. i hit a brick where it seperated the flowers from the grass, and i tried to turn away from it and keep moving forward, but i ended up making a loud noise (i believe). then i saw my dad look out the front window (it was late at night) and i could tell he was like “wtf?”. so i went inside the house and my mom and dad were there questioning me about idk what. from there, the dream went blank. at no time at all during this dream had i ever wondered if i was dreaming. i didn’t even remember this dream at all until i started driving to school, then it hit me, and i was like whoah. haha.

For as long as I can remember I've had a series of dreams playing in my sleep. It's like a video game. It's like it's really me moving around. Somehow in these dreams I seem to have full control over my actions and my awareness level is the same as if I were awake, but I have no control over what the other people in my dreams do. If a tree falls in the dreams it wasn't like I had control over it. In this way it is like a video game. I've never heard of anything like this and it unsettles me.
In the dreams I'm in a whole other place. Not in this...dimension, I suppose is the word. It's called Atheron. I'm a young, adventurous girl in the beginning. I love exploring the woods and hunting with my brothers. Most girls in the village are sewing and learning to cook and care for other children. I was hunting, adventuring, caring for the livestock on the farm, and other things as well but you get the point. My eldest sister was the one doing all of the womanly work. (I'm explaining all that I understand from the dreams. This is just part of the whole.) One day though my two brothers and I were huting in the mountains and I wandered off.
The village was controlled by a man who called himself a king. He controlled other nearby towns and villages and had guards stationed in all of them. Just as luck would have it I ran into a group of guards. There were three of them. They saw me and smiled cruelly. One nudged the others and that one nudged the next one. I was scared of the king and his men and I ran. They chased me, but I knew the woods well from many previous dreams of uneventful life on Atheron and soon lost them. I took a long route back to where my brothers had set camp. I knew it was dangerous to do because it was getting dark, but I didn't want to run into guards again. Luckily I found my way back. My brothers asked what had kept me and I explained to them what had happened. They began to rant about how mad the king was and they ranted on the stupidity and brutishness of his men. I became bored of this and went to bed.

In this dream I was a cop. It was my first day on the job and I was sent out on a call about a crackhead with a stroller roaming the streets. I found the crackhead,( It was really obvious that she was a drug abuser) then I tried to arrest her because I found drugs on her but she resisted and I had to tase her and punch her and then she pulled a gun on me. that's when I took the stroller with the baby in it and gave the baby to my father to distract long enough to where I could find a way to take this crackhead down,I think I remember shooting her. I remember having alot of dreams last night really vivid nice ones but sadly can't remember them. I was to groggy to pick up and write in my dream journal.