Recent DJ Posts

20th July 2021

Fragment:

I'm with H I think and someone else, a woman, maybe a lead character from something. At first we're "silently" killing Combine soldiers with desert eagles as we descend through a compound via some long and wide stairs, not unlike those in HFC instances although the setting looked sort of Half-Life-ish I suppose. (I say "silently" because the guns are actually stupidly loud but if we kill the soldiers with one shot or two very quickly, nobody else is alerted even if they are standing next to them)

I'm constantly low on ammo as I can see on a Half-Life 1-like GUI. I feel the other two are picking up all the ammo and leaving none for me, probably not on purpose. Near the end of this segment, we screw up a silent kill because of the distance and gun inaccuracy, all of the enemies have now become alert and we have a kind of stand-off at a landing on the stairs, we have the higher position. We use smoke grenades to force them to come a bit closer to reduce ammo waste, especially since I'm so low on ammo. I recall I have an UZI that I swap to but see that it only has two bullets left and become annoyed, since my DE is about to run out too.

Then for some reason, lots of food stuff is out next to us in the middle of all of this, tinned food mostly.

Fragment:

Near the end of this fragment. Something about a facility with a reactor in it, which has been running on edge. Earlier in this dream I was at this location but many years in the past, and this present is a time of post-destruction. Someone wants me to have a look at the reactor.

(The area of this fragment reminds me of a deathmatch map from HL1 that I must have spent a considerable amount of time playing in with my siblings.)

Dreams that I made note of early today but that I'm only writing on the DJ here at night.

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Dream Fragment:

Much longer than just this bit and a lot of detail is missing. Was with my family at some building, more specifically, with my parents and maybe siblings. We were there because of me, I was waiting to be given permission to use this facility's reactor-powered super-computer.

One of mom's sisters (M) was there . H was there but was a blend between himself and my oldest sibling. I remember we were waiting in some sort of lobby. It was sunny, there was a lot of glass. It was a fairly modern-style building from what I can remember. Eventually, a woman came through into the room and requested my presence. I followed her and walked through some halls and then through a large indoors space, like an aircraft hangar or an industrial warehouse. When we were in one of these larger spaces, the woman, who I remember was formally dressed (i.e. had some sort of secretarial position), said that they were going to give me the OK to use their computer.

Apparently I wanted to use this computer to "hack" some other reactor-powered super-computer of the same sort. In the dream I already knew I had permission from the owners of that second computer to do this. My reaction to when she gave me the OK was something of surprise and I felt happy. I told her I'd be right back and jogged back to the lobby quickly to grab a few things. Mostly some papers, A4 prints of the schematics for the other reactor? Looked like amplifier schematics like the ones I often see H use.

In the dream I knew that some favour I pulled was responsible for the people who owned this place to allow me to do this, though there seemed to be no animosity with anyone and there was a calm and polite atmosphere.

I remember there was a lot of dialogue in this dream but I remember very little of it in detail, usually one of the first things to get forgotten. I went back to the woman after grabbing the papers. I remember being shown into a room where I then used some sort of computer terminal and then gained physical access to the other computer's library. But it was literally and physically manifested in front of me, above the terminal.

I looked through the books. I remember chatting to this lady since she was there to supervise me, mostly small talk. I couldn't remember which of these files (the books) that H was interested in, so for whatever reason I asked for someone to go and fetch my oldest sibling (L). L arrived and immediately recognised the book. L took it and I wondered how we'd return it, since I realised in that moment this was a one-time thing but we were still obliged to return the file.

Then I said to L: "make sure you get everything you want, because we will never have access to this again." I remember thinking or feeling that the other books on that shelf were filled with irreplaceable knowledge.

The dream went on for a bit but I don't remember much. Some visions of the reactors? I told the lady about how I got permission to do all of this.

Dream Fragment:

A different dream. In space, much shorter dream. Strategy game like Homeworld but could manage planets and space stations too. Mix of Freelancer too? Don't remember the visuals anymore. Woke up after this dream.

Dream Fragment:

Fell back asleep and recalled this single fragment. Was helping T build some sort of organ console. The console didn't look right. It was askew? But it was on purpose apparently. The manuals were angled at 90 degrees and sloped on a 30 degree arc. I remember this took place in T's room. There was a light on and the room was dark otherwise, somewhat as expected really.

Mom was there, talking to T I think.

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Some notes:
- I did remember more conversational detail when I woke up and wrote down the first dream on my phone but the memory has since long left as I finish writing this DJ entry.
- The thing with the shelf and the books being the other computer's file system was very unusual. It was like an allegory, but somewhat unnecessary.
- For whatever reason, these few dreams I had all had H, T and L mixed in some sense as if they were all the same character. Although I can draw some similarities between them, like the bookshelf thing, I'm not sure why it was almost made obvious in the dream. Normally my less conscious thoughts don't manifest themselves in dreams in such an obvious way, probably since I already recognise all these elements consciously anyway.
- The secretary figure is starting to become a recurring dream character in a sense. Feels like a sort of formal projection, as a character, of what I would consider my anima to be. Last year there were some similar appearances. Usually black hair, tidy, possibly glasses and a smooth but not perfect face. A slight bit of attitude or something in body posture, but in a relaxed way. Takes herself seriously.

- A note on the above; I have taken the Jungian archetypes into a sort of personally meaningful way as I do with symbols in general, so that they have specific meanings to myself, which are often a bit more distant from their original meanings. This accounts for why the appearance of these archetypes varies, sometimes dramatically. But the key identifier for them is usually that they are key characters in the dream and that they are not related to people I know, and seem to be more disjointed from the other characters in a dream, usually.

- T's room was more or less as I remember last seeing it. The sense of any unpleasant smell didn't seem to be there, but I remember feeling uncomfortable being in the room.

Morning of April 19, 2016. Tuesday.



There is some very intense sensuality and lovemaking several times throughout this dream of the type that leaves me intrigued, but it also has a science-fiction-like plot.

I seem to be some sort of watchman (in mostly casual clothes; no uniform) for a particular unknown and unfamiliar city in possibly the distant future. It has something to do with making sure no one goes near or uses any reactors, along with things relating to electricity and “old” technology.

There is a point at which I discover someone had started to utilize a reactor and I go to investigate. It seems that time had somehow shifted or I am in the “wrong” town. A man (unknown) in a policeman’s uniform (including a helmet) tells me that the town is going to utilize the reactor when I warn them it is against the present federal laws and that there may be radiation that will make many people ill over time. He does not agree and asks me for identification. He even pulls a gun on me. We argue a bit and I continue to tell him that it is my responsibility to be a watchman of this town.

Finally, after he makes a couple other comments, I just firmly say “No…no…I am the ultimate authority here! I am!” and shoot him in the forehead twice. The people do not really react but the reactor is shut down. (As a reactor would represent conscious energy entering the dream, not lucidity but possibly just waking up, it seems I prefer to stay in the dream state at this point.)

There is a (one of several) lovemaking scene with Zsuzsanna with me on my back in an outside area, seemingly on concrete and near a man-made river. One human witness appears. There are also several wild animals nearby; lions and bears and such. I say, trying to sound somewhat friendly, “aw…go away now…” but the person just stands there looking at us curiously until the large wild animals flee from my louder voice and knock them over (into the river) on their way to jumping into the river to “escape” me. They transform into a cluster of large but variously-sized bubbles sailing across the surface of the water to the opposite side. When they transform back, they are all mixed up. I even see a giant skinny frog (about five feet tall) and an oversized male plumed basilisk (about half the size of the frog). They seem to be struggling to pull themselves out of the water. Some of them are still “half-bubble” and a bit melted-looking. I am not sure if any but the frog makes it.

In another lovemaking scene, Zsuzsanna is younger and has a raised butterfly pattern (flight symbol though there is no lucidity at any point) on her back (not a tattoo image, just raised skin which I mostly feel rather than actually see).

In another scene, I am indoors and there are several different females, all unattractive and seemingly arrogant as they lounge about. One is standing at the front of the room like a leader of some sort. A couple of them make sarcastic remarks about me not finding them pleasant to be with, but I pull out a gun and shoot them in the same manner (in the forehead, twice) as the guard from the earlier part of my dream. One of the females seems about six feet tall and is almost completely round and lying on her side on an elevated (about five inches or so) trapezoidal section of the floor. Finally, a young version of Zsuzsanna appears and seems concerned. I tell her that there is nothing for her to be concerned about and we hug intimately and say “okay” back and forth a few times. This is a transition point (a partial awakening and my dream shifting to a different one) that represents unity and coalescence (dream self merging back into whole conscious self). Of all the different types of dream events, hugging has always seemed the most intimate and peaceful, even healing in nature and is much better than the falling transition in my opinion.

I shift to a surreal scene in an unknown apparently elevated city (the time seeming to be mid-afternoon) with someone on a unicycle (my left) and a dwarf in some sort of pedal car (my right). I seem to be on a skateboard or possibly just floating along on air in standing position. We all seem happy and the other two are sort of singing gleefully. We are suddenly blocked by a chain-link fence (liminal space between dreaming and waking). A man about eight feet tall (on the other side of the fence and representing my emergent consciousness in this case) in a 1940s suit and very thin (and reminding me of a thinner version of Lurch from “The Addams Family” with an essence of the Apple Droppers from “Yellow Submarine”, the latter being a downsized waking transition “warning”, that is, the dreamer as a potential falling apple), not menacing at all, cordially opens the gate for us. We continue to ride along but soon see that the edge of the street and sidewalk just stop (like a cliff), thus the fence was more for pedestrian safety it seems. The view of the rest of the city is in the distance and far below. The two other dream characters cannot stop in time and go riding off the edge and shout “Whoa!” and hover in midair for a very short time before falling (like in a cartoon). I feel a sense of hilarity and feel only a vague sense of falling even though I had not gone over the edge (final waking transition event) and seem to now somehow be on a unicycle at the waking point. I find it hilarious that the two other dream characters went suddenly falling instead of me experiencing the direct waking mechanism. This has happened before and I always find it silly and amusing, almost like a “glitch” in the waking process where “I am” (dream self perspective and identity) is for whatever reason instead rendered as “you are” (projected affirmation to a secondary character) even as the transition occurs.

I was in my house - about ten years in the past, when I was almost nine years old. I was sitting on a coach in the kitchen with my older and younger sisters. Whole room and people really looked like they did ten years before. We were joking from little sister, we all had great fun. Then another sister appeared, climbed up a wardrobe and lied there, toying with a small plank. We laughed from that too.

It was dark night, we all felt that something urgent is calling. We went outside and heard a terrible news - a little girl has disappeared. We gathered in a group and went up a hill that's behind my house. There was my car waiting. Brother wanted to drive, but he was completely drunk. I thought that I should drive, checking if I had my drivers license with me. I completely forgot that I was a little boy without a license, and eldest sister took the car.

I said that I'm going back home and went downhill. I saw mother coming out of house with random people, seeking out the kid. Something in our shed caught my attention. I went there and on the ceiling I saw handprints of a little girl. Suddenly I found myself in a strange racing path in outer space. I ran around it, and got teleported to a first challenge.

It was in a medieval village. I've hidden behind a small cottage and suddenly a zombie burst out of the ground. I heard a voice saying "Our zombies are strong!". I had no problems with defeating it. I got teleported to another part of the village. This time voice said "Our zombies are stronger!" - again it wasn't any big deal. Another teleport, another part of village. Voice said "Our zombies are über!" And another one appeared only to be killed quickly. I got teleported back to outer space platforms and I ran into a capsule of some kind. It transported me to an alien mastermind. It was mad at me. There was a raising platform that I could escape to while it loaded it's death ray. I jumped and hanged for a short while, but I didn't managed to hold on and fallen into a cloud of stardust, shouting.

Suddenly I appeared in a dark reality controlled by these aliens. There was a huge towering structure made of black stone with a red orb in the middle of a circuit line behind me. I heard a loud alarm "Reactor reaching critical fusion stage! Core meltdown alert!" And decided to run away. I reminded myself of the orb - it was a watchers eye, that recorded and controlled the district. The floor was also made of this black stone, with pipes under a grate in the middle of it. Everything seemed somehow red and gray tinted. I ran past a corner and slowed down, moving close to a wall. In the distance I sawa warehouse guarded by alien troops with tactical armor and assault rifles. They were completely human-alike. Their armor was gray, with masks suited for moving within gas or dark environments.

They noticed me, I ran back to an alley. I could see more troops on the other street, so I decided to continue on with the alley. I was stopped by two guards however, and I started to fight with them. A few punches made me victorious, but then another guard appeared and I had to dodge his strikes. After a good while I defeated him and tried to sneak inside a buildings they protected. I saw a staircase to the right and a room filled with skeletons wielding great swords. I panicked and ran away - straight into a dead end with a horde of gray skinned, rotten zombies that all looked exactly the same. I thought "I'll kill you all!"and started punching wildly. Zombies only grinned menacingly and literally shed me to pieces. I was dead, but I could still see it from different protective and think about what's going on. I thought that I should watch as skeletons and zombies fought together, but after a while I decided to wake up.

It was on the planet Mars. A space station was built on it's surface, with the most modern technology currently available. Something strange have happened there, and a red fog was covering all the tight corridors. I was walking inside some dark tunnels, trying to find my way around that strange place. I heard two persons wandering these tunnels, and even saw them once too. It was a scientist and a technician, they were talking about some kind of massacre happening in the station.

I finally found my way from tunnels, which were in the lower sector, to the surface dome. In the middle of the dome there was a huge pool of lava, and there were some building on the sides. In the middle of the pool there was a powerful demon, though I somewhat can't recall it. It shot missiles of red energy at me, which were hard to avoid. An idea came to me - building a forge, to create armor protecting me from these missiles.

After a while of wandering in the dark, I heard a speaker voice "Reactor core coolant error!". Blue emergency lights turned on in the tunnels, and I heard machinery turning on - the coolant reached hyperactivity, and started to freeze all the space station. I thought to myself "I should be invincible now." and so I was invincible, and I have gained abillity to phase through walls and objects.

I watched as the ice slowly covered walls of the tunnels, and walked there for a while. Then I floated up to the dome - the lava was still present, but demon was nowhere to be found. I ripped some tiles from the floor, getting to lava underneath them, and started to build a lava powered forge.

I was in an underground facility of some sort with "someone". There was concrete everywhere and it was dark and seemed damp.

I remember walking up a ramp and looking through vertical windows in a very large door and seeing what looked like reactors, glowing green. They had honeycomb patterns and windows on them and in the windows, the green glow was more intense. They looked like half spheres sitting on the floor.

I then remember walking past three or four incubators with babies in them. Alive, but not moving. The incubators were more advanced than a regular hospital one, with lots of lights and gadgets everywhere. One of these babies was huge, I would say four feet long.

After seeing these the dream ended.