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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Attending some teachings, some place up in the mountains with an amphitheatre. Some old students and western lamas are conspiring to betray my teacher. They are exposed and they are sent away. Joakim was not among them, but he concerns me a lot. I know that he is no longer a buddhist, has some new non recommended friends for company, so I suspect he is around only to cause harm. I stay close and keep an eye on him.

New series on TV with Keanu Reeves. He plays a lawyer with a split personality. He sometimes dresses up to match the personalities, but it is highly disturbing. One of them is a dog and he wears a dog costume and walks on four legs and looks weirdly like a real dog from the uncanny valley. Some other of his personalities are of black guys and he paints himself in black face. The makeup is so perfect that all we see is really a black guy, but we know who's underneath and I am shocked that he is actually doing this on a show in 2022. Then an episode in which he is the dog becomes a real life experience for me and I meet dog Keanu on the street. Although I know there is a person in there, I pretend I don't know and I pet him and talk to him as if he is a lost pet. He never says a word and then he runs across the street away from me and enters a bulding. I go after him. I walk through a long twisted corridor and I see many families gathered in rooms, mourning their loved ones, or just visiting them and realize it is some kind of hospice. Dog Keanu disappears at the end of the corridor and I get lost inside the last room, only to find my mother and my aunt Ludovina laying down in beds. At first I think they are restrained because my mom has an eye mask and for a while it seemed like she had a mouth gag. Turns out she is just taking a nap and she wakes up and moves freely. She explains that my uncle Francisco managed to get some legal document saying they both are insane and needed to be committed so the hospital complied. But she says that the situation is being solved right now and she is just resting before she leaves this place. Then my dad and aunt Lisa arrive and they say they just challenged the decision and are awaiting their release. Then both my uncles come by to confront them and for some reason I have a really big heavy pan on my hands and I threathen to smash it against their f-ing heads if they come any closer. They actually get really scared and go to a corner at the back of the room. Their kids also come, namely João, Sara and André and they are shocked with my behaviour but I also feel that they understand it. I hear my uncles talking in the background with other people, arguing they need the family money because sometimes their kids go hungry. I feel sad for my cousins, but it's their parents fault and not my mother's. I wanna reach out to them, but every one is staying quiet in their places so I decided to do the same as we wait for the legal fight to unravel.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With my mom doing tourism somewhere exotic. We just had some snacks at a cafeteria in what seems like a bazar. Then I am drawn to this sort of temple and realize there is a buddhist event inside and I spot my teacher in there. He is coming down from the stage and giving his place to some other lama. Me and mom are at some lateral door when my teacher walks down an isle, perpendicular to us and I think he sees me by the corner of his eyes. I fold my hands on my chest. I notice I am wearing a long white embroidered dress. Then I leave with my mom, trying to figure out where my teacher is going, but I am nt walking anymore, instead I am levitating above my mom as she walks below.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Attending my guru's teachings in some resort somewhere. The architecture of the place kinda reminds me parts of Greece or Turkey, with white buildings in rammed earth. I am taken to my dorm, which is a really bizarre very narrow room with shelves sticking out of the wall that are supposed to be sort of bunk beds, but with no stairs to climb up and no guard rails to prevent falling during sleep. Besides that, they are really high up, some are like 2 or 3 meters high and I wonder how people get up there, or how they come down if they need to pee at night. The only way is using someone else's bed as steps to go up and down.
I then go back out to check the registration table for the event and it is a bit chaotic with people arriving and making a lot of noise. I spot my teacher arriving. I look absolutely exhausted and don't want him to see my face so I kind pull my hair to cover my face. I think he spots me anyway and he looks puzzled with my hairdo. I look like a mix of a sexy mysterious gal and a crazy lunatic lady.
I return to my dorm to refresh and change clothing, so I take my travel bag to the bathroom with me. As I prepare to shower, I retrieve my hygiene products from my bag, but I hold it in the air over the toilet, which has no lid, and the unthinkable happens: my bag is open and all my clothes fall into the toilet. For some reason they don't just stay there, the water is running a little bit, so the clothes are sucked into the pipes. In despair I try to retrieve them, and I need to get deeper and deeper into the toilet bowl until I get my last clothing item from inside the drainage pipe, my whole arm inside it. I feel disgusted and completely defeated that I have nothing to wear that didn't fell inside the toilet.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In a crowd gathered for some teachings. I see my teacher at a distance. He gets up with a book on his hand and calls my name, says it is for me. I get up and raise my hand. We walk towards each other and I feel awkward because I wanna hug him and I just can't. He says something like congratulations for winning that prize and everyone wonders what was the contest and when. I bow down with my hands folded and I receive the book while trying desperately to touch his hands briefly. We look at each other cumplicitly. After that he goes back to his seat and proceeds talking and I try to get a place closer to him better. Strangely a lot of people just get up and leave so I have lots of free space now in the front.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

My teacher and others are visiting some place, could be Germany by the looks of it, but it is warm and there is a beach nearby, so I don't know. We are all in a house. It is an apartment but bigh enough to accomodate them and all the students. The group of students is maybe 20 people. I haven't yet seen my teacher, but I accidentaly step into a room where I disturb OTR and another teacher who are talking. I make a discrete turn around and leave. Anyway they see me, but I think they are more entertained than upset.
Then I am told we should gather in a specific room as our teacher is coming. For some reason I have to get fully naked and my teacher paints me in red. I have a tear falling down my right cheek as he paints my face. I am a bit embarassed from being naked in front of the others but they also seem embarassed and looking down to avoid eye contact.
Later on, we are told to get ready as we are being taken to the beach. I go get food from a fridge, specifically 4 green pears, and then join the others on a subterranean parking lot where a big van arrives, supposedly to take us. But our teacher cuts through, followed by an entourage and I am convinced they take most of the seats. But actually the van is really big and has like 4 rows of seats and we all fit in. My teacher is on the first row and I am on the third, but he still can see me through the rear mirror, Riverstone is also sitting on the same row as I am. To my surprise, my teacher turns around and starts speaking portuguese-brazilian with Riverstone. I am confused as I had no idea he could speak PT, yet Riverstone apparently did know, because he doesn't flinch and immediately replies. I wonder if he understands original portuguese and surprisingly he also does.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

My teacher comes to PT. While meeting some of his students, during a more relaxed moment, he calls me to sit with him at a table for a private conversation. He asks me how I am and does some small talk. He grabs my hand and we show more affection than what I think others should see. He comes closer to me and puts his arms around my shoulders. Says he doesn't care what others think. But the fact is no one around seems to see or care. Nobody is looking at us. He says something like he wants to know everything and I tell him "Then, let's go out for the whole day and I'll tell you everything you need to know." He agrees. I say I just need to go home for 5 mins and will come right back. It is actually my mom's house and not mine. I take the elevator. She is at home and Riverstone is there watching TV and has a really weird haircut. He knows I was with my teacher, so he asks how it went. I give him a hug and ask "What if I move to India?" and he doesn't say a word. My mom is like "Hein?" and totally puzzled. I don't even know how to tell her. But first I must go back to my teacher.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Attending my teacher's teachings, sitting front row. There are 3 Asian ladies, including his current partner EC, attending to his needs, but there is the rumor that I might be trying to steal their position. I assure I am not. My teacher exchanges just a few quick looks with me, his eyes eager to see me, but nothing else. Later on, some lamas or monks take me for a walk and say they heard I am an humble person and want to know if that is true. I say I am not sure and think about it for a while. I reply that I am aware of who I am but yes, I am humble in the sense I am also very aware of my character flaws and I don't feel like I am better or above anyone else. They take me to a kind of room in an attic. When I am there I recognize it is the meditation room of JKCL. I kneel on the floor and touch some pretty tiles where he sat practicing, feeling emotional. I then see a journal on a table with his notes about travels and some old pics of exotic places he went. I am met by two of the ladies from before (but not EC) and they are now being kind to me. They invite me for a weekend at some really nice place, to make plans with them about something. I accept.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Attending my guru's teachings. I am sitting right in front of him, then there is some initiation in which I am given something, not sure what, Then I am alone with Ioana who teaches me a ritual dance. Then she says we were supposed to have met others again at some new place and that we are late and she runs out to ger her shoes or whatever.
I follow her outside but don't see her anymore. I find myself in a pateo in what seems like a monastery. I feel something weird. I start floating, dancing in the air, moving weirdly, end up on the ground doing sensual moves with some objects in my hands. A bell is placed on my pelvis and with each movement it rings and arouses me. I am getting horny with the dance, when all other students appears with our teacher and I feel embarrassed and stop. But Rinpoche asks some other lama what he thinks of my dance and the opinion is that I did good, considering I just got brief teachings immediately before. Then I learn that it wasn't Ioana who had taught me, but Rinpoche himself, that I had been under some spell to see a different reality and see her in his place.
Now we will continue the teaching, We all walk to inside the building. There are flags hanging and waving everywhere and graffiti with certain symbols I can't decipher on all walls.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Going to some Buddhist teachings and staying at some hotel in front of the teachings place. The buildings are New Orleans type. The hotel is just by the side of a gay bar.
By chance, or not, I am put next door to my teacher's room, who is staying at the same hotel, but I don't know it until I go hang some clothes to dry at the balcony and realize it is a common balcony and I see some attendant preparing a tray with tea for him. But I don't see him. Then it gets confusing, with people circulating through my room thinking it is an extension of his suite. Although, in fact there are connecting doors between the rooms.
I get dressed and later go join group lunch, which is in a long table where everybody eats together, some 30 people. I don't see my teacher, but there is only one vacant seat at the top and I sit, hoping it is not his place. I know the girls sitting on both sides, they tell me it is ok to sit, we chat, we have a good time. Suddenly I look up and as some people got up from their chairs or are leaning backwards and I see my teacher to the left, in the middle of the table, staring at me and I feel embarrassed. I smile but then look down, then look up at him, then look down and I repeat it a couple more times. His eyes are locked on me. Then he gets up and goes to balcony over our heads to tell some story and a couple people act the story out.
On the balcony wall appears a giant slug, yellow or orange, leaving a mucus trail and then appears a sea cucumber, also in flashy colors. Some girls are going crazy over our teacher and like famished beings they lean against the wall and stretch their arms until they reach the base of the balcony. In their rush to kiss their guru's feet, they lick the animal's slime and apparently swallow the animals. I find it gross, but then again, I also think why I find it gross. It is just my perception. Except for the poor animals, I worry that they swallowed them out needlessly. So I also reach out to look at the floor of the balcony and I see the slug and the other animal languishing on the floor and I feel relief.
Meanwhile I feel something coming out of my mouth, it's disturbing and I also feel embarrassed, because my guru is still looking at me. I start pulling a small white embroidery from my mouth and keep pulling a white thread behind it. But it's not over, then my mouth is full of beads and I collect them out one by one. My teacher is looking with admiration, so I assume it's not a bad thing.

Morning of May 5, 2017. Friday.



I am teaching a psychology class based on the Holt, Rhinehart, and Winston textbook (which I only actively used for one year). It seems to be eleventh or twelfth grade (with no association with AP students). One female, a young version of Zsuzsanna, is somehow seated on the desktop rather than the seat near the front of the class, to the right. The rest of the students are sitting in their desk’s seat.

Over time, I am trying to focus on a chart over the chalkboard. At first, I assume it is something to do with levels of consciousness (which is not a real part of the textbook in the way it is displayed). The bottom is first labelled as “UNCONSCIOUS”. Looking more closely however, I see that it says “PRIMARY PRODUCERS”. It then dawns on me that I am actually trying to explain something relevant to biology and what looks to be a food pyramid diagram.

Still, I become curious when the animal icons on the left (one on each “step”) all appear to be primates, displayed as if they are meant to be going up the steps of the supposed food pyramid. The one on the second-last step is a human, but in silhouette as in the other cases. Looking more closely, they appear somewhat distorted, almost like inkblots or human shadows with three or more arms in odd positions.

Still, I look at the top of the triangle, where the “TERTIARY CONSUMERS” section terminates. It firstly appears to be a man flexing his left biceps. I look more and more closely and finally see it is Atom Ant (the cartoon superhero). I squint trying to work out what is going on. Perhaps someone played a trick on me and tampered with the diagram. As my emergent consciousness kicks in, I am trying to work out how an ant would symbolize my emergent consciousness. Then I realize that the phrase “Up and at'em - Atom Ant!” is a reference to waking up and getting out of bed.

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This dream was directly influenced by a dream (from January 2, 2016) that I reviewed and posted on a couple sites before my last sleeping period; the one titled “Evolution of Waking”. It has very similar waking symbolism and also (though less present as here) the idea of waking as “evolving”.

Continuously studying and understanding my dreams for over fifty years, it seems obvious that many of my dreams have integrated a virtuous circle into some dream types, where the real-time waking symbolism is so obvious as to be a no-brainer in many cases, even in surreal scenarios such as this and the January 2, 2016 dream.

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Morning of May 2, 2017. Tuesday.



I am in an unfamiliar classroom (or perhaps at a seminar), where the students are mostly adults in their thirties. (In real life, I still have a cold, so my sleep cycle is apart from the usual.) I am the speaker. The subject is a childhood dream that I had originally titled “When the Moon is in the Seventh House” to poke fun at astrology. It was about the moon changing into a giant crow and falling through the roof of my Cubitis home into the large closet, becoming somewhat cartoon-like in appearance. (I had gone over the full decoding of this dream a few times when much younger.)

Over time, I explain how my dream (from February 4, 1972) was designed and rendered. Originally, there were about five notebook pages regarding this somewhat short dream that I wrote at age eleven. (I never post the full text of my dream data online as it would be far too long and the format is not possible to post online other than in a large image which is not really feasible.) I explain that it was partly influenced by hearing about the January 30, 1972 lunar eclipse.

I explain how many dreams are premonitory of biological waking mechanism factors and that a crow is such a symbol as the emergent consciousness event, especially as the same event has occurred many times in different ways since early childhood. (Also, since very early childhood, a bird’s beak was sometimes such a factor, but only in dreams relating to the lower back spasm waking event such as “The Buzzard’s Beak” from October 4,1969, though which the factor was proven to have some suggested level of control as in dreams such as “The Elongated Beak” from from September 8, 1968. These days, now that I am much older, there does seem to be an unexplainable liminal space in half-sleep where the back and shoulder spasm events can be lessened to an extent as well as somehow subliminally activated.)

I explain that the falling giant crow additionally is a staging phrase of “night is falling” (since a crow is black and is also a specific circadian rhythms symbol for me, though I have not captured or recorded all the specific clock times it is rendered as such as I have with cats in some cases, though date markers are more obvious).

I explain that the “failed flight waking transition”, one of my most common dream sequences since early childhood, is not necessarily of negative implications. It simply describes the type of dream that renders a falling event that is biologically linked to the natural consciousness shift that occurs upon waking.

I explain how the actual meaning of my dream’s outcome, is that the emergent consciousness factor lands in the closet due to it being the first place I go to to get my clothes to get dressed for school after waking up. The moon had been the induction factor, which transmutes into the waking transition during my dream’s natural ending. The moon becoming the giant crow represents the unconscious (moon, or “night self” as akin to “dream self”) becoming the conscious self waking precursor. I add how “When the Moon is in the Seventh House” is especially fitting as a title, as ours was the seventh house along our stretch of highway. My dream amused me and colored my mood in a very cheerful way concerning my otherwise tedious task of getting ready for school, so thus my dream was useful in that way. (A specific dream often serves more than one purpose.)

In the last scene, I actually “play” my childhood dream (as if it was a holographic movie over my dream’s main environment), as it originally occurred, although there are differences. The ceiling of the classroom disappears and the moon is present overhead. The full moon (though in reality was waning gibbous and only 85% visible in regard to the original dream) changes into a giant crow and begins falling toward the building.

Soon, I “become” the giant crow as I am also my dream self’s human body (though at this point, the giant crow is only about three feet from the floor) as it coalesces into my dream self as the emergent consciousness factor. I bend one knee down with my arms up and out at this moment in a sort of dramatic presentation. I awake with the soft abdominal jolt (with a slight kick), which is not unpleasant (rather than the natural falling sensation), as the giant crow’s belly is touching the floor, and I am very surprised that I had not been lucid at any point.

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This is the second time I have recently non-lucidly dreamt of explaining the meaning of a childhood dream in front of an audience (the other being about “The Tadpole’s Ghost” from December 21, 1970). It is probably due to my lifelong study of my own dreams while realizing that much of what is published about dreams is a sham (especially the irritating myths that dominate dream lore).

My dream also related to thinking about mapping more dreams more specifically, though only on the two main sites I post where the present count is about 3,500 (which is less than one-tenth of my total number of records and study data - though I do hope to have about 10,000 in a few years at least on tumblr if it is still there).

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"You thought this place was haunted," I tell the brown-haired child. "As it turns out, you're not the only one with powers."

I raise a hand and Matilda floats up off the floor, her eyes alight with excitement. I cut the enchantment, and she lands on her feet.

"So you're my teacher?"

I nod.

I had something like a retrospection. I was applying for a teachers job in school. I was teaching a group of children. I tried my best, but somehow I used bad methods. Many years later children of that children I teached were going to school. I was their teacher.

Through all the years much has changed in the society and ways people teach. Teachers started to use cruel methods. I was trying to stop it all. To do this I wanted to advertise good ways of teaching. I wanted to make a billboard, but the platform allowing me to do this has broken. The children were disappointed, and I felt like I lost miserably, and nothing can be done to help them.

January 29, 2015

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Back to Romania!!

I was one of three siblings from Romania. While we lived in Romania, there were lots of adventures, mainly running away from this flying monster that was always after us. I'm not sure that we were human; in fact I think we were some medium-sized rodent-thing. After running away from this big flying monster (we were swinging through huge trees that were much more like a jungle than Romania, but whatever) we ended up going through a magical portal which landed us in the field behind my house back home.

I got separated from my two siblings, and while looking for them, I found out that the Power Puff Girls lived there. And they wanted to eat us. Well, Bubbles and Buttercup wanted to eat us. Blossom thought it was wrong to eat animals (she must have been a vegetarian). Anyways, Buttercup and Bubbles had laid a series of traps for my siblings and I. One of them was at the little trolley line running from the shed to a large tree. There was another wire running along the ground there, and if we tripped it, we'd explode or catch on fire, or something. The other thing they did... was use our call. We used a call back in Romania to make sure we were all safe (kinda like what Rue and Katniss did in the Hunger Games, but the tune was the one my mentor teacher uses to call the kids to attention). It was so strong in us to reply when that call was made, that when Buttercup made the call, I yelled, "THAT'S NOT FAIR. THAT'S ABUSING THE POWER OF THE CALL." And I came out from hiding. My siblings had also heard the call and were with me then. And so we had to fight the Power Puff Girls.

I don't remember specifics about the battle, but we beat them somehow. I remember something about using the trampoline that used to be in the yard against them, maybe we took the net off and trapped them in it?

Anyways, after we beat them, there was a tall, skinny man in black who was also from Romania. He had falling into the same portal, and didn't know how to get back. He came out with a huge gun, and was going to catch us, because Bubbles and Buttercup had promised him they'd get him back home if he helped them get us. I convinced him to help us instead, so we could all go back home together. He said I had a good idea, and I replied, "Dude I know I have great ideas, now LET'S GO."

I assume we all got back safely. I vaguely remember flying above my house, maybe the portal back to Romania was in the air?




Fragment: Class

I was teaching a small, extra class and one of my students was there, and her mom, too.




Odd Way To Fly...

I was learning to fly with this weird contraption where if you blew through a tube, you went up, and if you pinched the tube, you went down. I was in a sort of game with my brothers and a few others (I think Zukin was there), and we were seeing how high up we could go. Everyone was afraid of losing oxygen, but I was like, "screw it, I can't get hurt!" and kept blowing through the tube until I hit a barrier of sorts really, really high up. I think I had a suuuuper low level of lucidity, because I was confident that I wouldn't die even if there was no air. I was so high up that the others flying around looked like ants, I could barely see them. When I looked at the land, it was a little bit like in Minecraft when you fly super high in creative mode, where it's just this big square of landscape. I also remember going through phases of different colored atmospheres, like the sky above me would change color until it was white, when I hit the barrier.

I flew back down and reported that there was a barrier before you'd run out of air.




Evil Overlord Waterbender

I was playing a survival game of sorts on a deserted island. There were two teams of three people each. My team had decided to set up our home base right on the beach. We had built up a foundation for our house with large square rocks (almost Minecraft-y) and used straw and bark and newspapers and magazines to build up a more comfortable floor and walls. I had become the leader of my group (though I'd like to think it was through honest means, I think I was more of a tyrannical dictator).

There was a sort of refreshment store right next to our house. They sold a drink called Grape Rape (How could you, subC, HOW COULD YOU) and another, alcoholic drink, called Rum Running. Apparently it was enough rum to keep you drunk until you drove all the way across the state. Like you were supposed to buy it, drink it all, and then drive across the state. IT was like the House Special Challenge, or something. If you made it there in one piece, you got another, apparently.

Anyways. The opposing team tried to cut off our access to the water by blocking off the spot where we were going to put a dock, so that we would have to make some sort of deal with them. But I was like hahaha FUCK NO, and went all waterbender on them or something. I raised my arms and the water started to rise from the shore and move out into the ocean. The way the water flowed out was really trippy and hard to describe. It was strait and dramatic, then moved out with 90-degree angles and whatnot. It rose three levels, and then the guy ran away. I threw a huge boulder out into the water, where the guy had been in a boat (as if it weighed nothing) and then tossed out a suspension-bridge-like set of planks that automatically connected to the boulder, creating the dock we had desired.

The water had lowered again, but when it rose, the walls of our house got torn down, and all that was left now was the floor made of newspapers and magazines. It was strange, they were like rolled up and filled in the space, so it was lumpy. I was laughing maniacally and gathered my two underlings and we just laid out on the magazines and fell asleep.

26.01.2015

1-26-15 Fragments - Psychic teachings (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Fragment (+0.5)

Doing lots of readings and sending healing session.

A spirit that I connected with told me something about chocolate chip cookies.

Teaching people to develop psychic abilities.