I remember being in a hospital or office building and I kept seeing this ghost women figure wasn't scary or nothing a bit eary though. At one point I saw her on the other side of a glass wall. She held out her hand and I saw a projection of what could have been an older me I could be wrong. The projection took her hand and started walking down the hall then disappeared. (I remember being told before this dream weeks ago, in a wierd way too I would go peacfully.)
Just called in...as I intend to now and then...if I'm still around...72 next birthday. I'm still ticking over on the dream front with a steady stream of remembered dreams. They are generally pretty mundane (I've stopped verbally abusing ED...he can only do what he can do poor luv) I had a dream about a military plane crashing (and one did 2 months later at Shoreham in Sussex...but I have to put that down to co-incidence) I've recorded 104 dreams since my last posting on 22nd April so that's 167 days (aprox 1 every 2 days but there have been barren patches and I've done hardly any conditioning. A few of them seemed to hover on the edge of lucidity. One was clearly lucid and I also had what I think was genuinely lucid last night (but woke up this morning to note that I didn't record it even though I woke up)...or did I? But I can still remember my satisfaction at being lucid and looking carefully around (for a change) although I didn't RC damn it! Maybe browsing Dream Views yesterday pushed me towards lucidity...who knows? It will stay like this for a while yet...I have other things to do and probably need another op (my breathing is not good and affecting my sleep and my attempts at meditation.) As is my character, I'm branching off in all directions...doing maintenance on the house, exploring Buddhism (I'm Zen me) reading up on shrooms and DMT (I'd love to take a trip) exploring diets for dreaming, interested in Adyashanti and Sam Harris, etc bloody etc...so much to do so little time. I'm (slowly) reading an old copy of “A user's guide to the brain,” by John Ratey and it's fascinating enough to keep me going back to it. We've got 3 brains (suck on that Steve Martin!) atop each other...reptilian (for basic stuff) Paleomamalian (for finer stuff) and Cortex (for the artier-fartier detail)...in a few millenniums we'll probably all look like the elephant man head-wise. So maybe I need 3 names for ED...Ed, Fred and Super-Ted. Ratey says the brain has great plasticity...my certainly behaves like it's plastic sometimes...sorry Ed..Fred and Super Ted... I instinctively feel that reading up on the brain will add to my voyage of discovery re LD. I've perceived (and put on record here) that areas of my brain seem to behave independently of each other and Ratey says the brain is “more like an eco-system than a machine and many of its systems are in constant competition with one another all of our lives in a process than the Nobel Laureate Gerald Edelman has called neural-Darwinism”...hmm. So...ever onward. Eventually (but later than planned) will come a major change of scenery (home-wise) and a more-settled environment and probably a more successful op. I'll be back! (occasionally) regards Luke, Ed, Fred and Super-Ted
10-06-2015 -- I'm trying to park my car (probably the silver Lexus) next to a house which seems to be the house Uncle Jim used to live in. Like most times in dreams, the driving doesn't go smoothly. I can't work the brakes properly, it doesn't back up right, and no matter how I try, I can't get the car nicely next to the curb, like I'm trying to do. Soon I find myself standing next to the car, looking at the house, which I have now bought or in some other manner acquired. I've got lots of my stuff with me, including book cases, and bags of comics, and old Hornet newspapers with my articles in them, and lots of other cool stuff. I'm trying to gather up a couple of arm-fulls of the stuff to take inside, when a fairly young kid comes walking up, and starts to gather some of the stuff. He looks like he's probably somewhere between 9 & 12 years old. At first I think he is trying to steal my stuff, and am about to chase him off, but then I realize he just wants to help me move in. And while that's nice, I am afraid it would be too much for him, and he'd probably hurt himself or something, so I thank him for the offer of help, but turn him down. He walks a couple of doors down, and joins his own family, who it seems are also moving it. At first it seems like they are moving in to nothing, but as I watch, their house starts to kind of push aside the houses on either side to put itself out there, kind of like the Harry Potter books sometimes describe the Fidelus. I realize these folks are magical, and think I probably should have let the kid help. If he's magical, he could have probably handled it. I decide to go over and say hi, but as I approach the door everybody steps inside, so I (slightly rudely, I'll admit) just follow them inside, waiting for a chance to introduce myself. I'm kind of shocked to discover that my new neighbors are Santa Claus (red suit, long white beard, and all) and his kind of large, young, fairly hip family. I introduce myself, and explain that I used to be a muggle, but somehow I could see his house pushing it's way between the other houses. I tell him his son offered to help me move in, since I was all by myself, but I'd turned him down because I figured he wouldn't really be able to help ... but with magic, I'd be appreciative of the help, if the offer still stands. Santa asks me what I have to move, and I kind of talk my stuff down, referring to it as a bunch of old books and old newspapers and such, but then I am quick to mention that they are old newspapers that have stuff I wrote in them, so it doesn't sound like I am a complete idiot hoarder or something. Santa says he understands, and points to a stack of newspapers in a cupboard underneath his coffee table, which also has old papers ... though his are papers with articles written about him, instead of by him. After that, he admits that he already knew what I had to move ... that they had been watching me. They knew I was a decent fellow, and a nice guy, which is why they allowed me to see the magic. Santa's wife also starts talking, saying hello, but she is soon turning into one of the Adventurers Club performers that I didn't know well, since they came around after I'd quit going to the Club quite so much. Probably Megan M. Or Andrea C. [Both of whom I have seen mentioned in Facebook posts in the last two days.] Things are shifting to a sort of Adventurers Club reunion, and Graham is holding a somewhat worn and ratty looking old pillow. Someone is asking him if he is going to throw it away or something, but he says he can't ... he says his wife wants it, and plans to sleep with it between her thighs at times when he is not available or something like that, and all the guys are drooling at the thought. But soon things are shifting again, and I find myself talking to one of the above mentioned female Club members, but she isn't Santa's wife, but his real estate agent, and she works for a kind of a cross between a Realtor and the mob. There are a couple of tough thugs around to make sure nobody hurts anyone or anything here, and I'm trying to question the lady on any problems she may have with Santa. Meanwhile, a gangster's moll is sitting at a desk, wearing nice clothes, but with her legs partly spread to give folks a nice bit of an upskirt glimpse of her stockings and underwear.
10-05-2015 -- Working in a building that kind of reminds me of the Toshiba Medical building, but whatever kind of work I am doing, this time I am not security. But I am working perhaps some sort of warehouse work, and it is late in the evening, and we're sort of heading into the office portion of the building. Thing is, as we start to get into that area, the building is turning more into the version of Savanna that I know from past dreams that has a row of classrooms/offices directly north of the Main Office, with locker rooms, and secret passages and hidden stairways leading into off-limits areas. [I've had dreams taking place in this version of the school several times, though I am not sure where or if any of the others have been entered on the computer.] We're pretty sure there is something in one of the offices that we want, so somebody just goes to grab the door, and I'm worried with how late it is, about whether that office might be locked or alarmed. It is locked, but the guy has a key. Unfortunately, it is also alarmed. The guy opens the door, and a light beeping starts. One of the guys is saying it can't be that bad, since there are no flashing lights going off ... so of course, red flashing lights immediately start up. Soon security shows up, and starts to force all of us out of the building, and it seems like we're going to have to abandon the facility completely; one of the scientists tell us there isn't really any choice. But as we're being pushed out of the building, I'm listening to some of the alarms going off, and reading some of the warnings that are appearing, and I come to realize we were nearing access to a project which could have destroyed something like 99% of the world's population, leaving the ones who controlled it in control of the whole world. Thing is, it would have worked fine, but the scientist doesn't want to allow the calamity to happen, so he falsely claimed the entire project had been compromised, and rigged the entire place to self-destruct, so he could save the world. I sidle up to him and explain I see what he just did, and try to thank him for saving the world, and he reacts by firing me on the spot, and calling over a couple of huge security thugs who grab me by the arms and start to haul me out of the building. They throw me into the Buena Park Mall parking lot and are threatening to beat me up. Somehow I can't help but feel its still a lot better than the destruction of almost all of humanity.
10-04-2015 -- This one starts oddly, especially since I can't remember most of the beginning. Somehow Pat Q., Paul O., and I are all together, and sitting down for pizza somewhere, like I'm pretty sure we've done in the past in real life. Thing is, we're also going on and on talking about our phone numbers, including a slightly odd number that I can't remember awake, but seemed to be an important phone number from a past dream that I no longer remember. One of the many things we're discussing is how Lucius Malfoy has kidnapped Dobby, and we're hoping that he's going to be all right. The good thing is, he soon pops up to tell us that he managed to escape, and has decided to tak his revenge on Malfoy by grabbing an important book of documents; some kind of record keeping for Lucius' evil plans or illegal financial dealings. He's brought it back to Pat so she can use it to cause him trouble. So somehow we use a 'spell' in the form of a technomancy piece of equipment to copy one page of this material, then I wear at it and mangle it until I manage to make it nice and soft and very old looking [like that paper ball Jimmy had been mangling in a class until it became almost cloth-like from the fibers breaking down], and then use it for something else, and leave it somewhere that Malfoy will find it, discover a few of his secrets on it, and start to worry about what else might turn up somewhere unexpected. Soon the paper has turned into a huge map, which we have hung on a wall, and somehow as a part of this incredible plot (which becomes less sensible all the time) we're soon shooting at it with guns, putting a number of holes in it. Soon we're working at printing gold paper money. (The paper the bills are printed on are actually made of gold.) We're printing it on a fairly normal printer, feeding in letter-size sheets of thin gold, and printing the bill lettering and such on it, but I bump the printer, and the paper shifts mid-feed, messing up the bills. I try to fix it by kind of pulling the lettering off, and trying to smooth it out, then reaffix it to the gold, but of course it doesn't work. Soon I am grabbing huge wads of unprinted gold bills that have already been trimmed down to bill size, and stuffing them into a brown paper bag, trying to hide the evidence of my damaging them, until we can perhaps resmelt them or something. About that time, a huge guy who is an odd cross between Hagrid and a huge black hillbilly walks in, thinks I have his lunch, and grabs the paper bag and opens it. When he sees what is inside, he's kind of shocked, and I have to swear him to secrecy about the whole thing.
10-02-15 -- This one was all over the place, and there were probably a few scenes back even further than I can remember here, but we have what we have. The first thing I can remember with any clarity, I am staying in a house with roommates, and it is probably Rosemary's. I can remember vague impressions of David, and somehow Shannon has been doing something to get himself in trouble, so he's kind of been locked in a side room or something for a while. Meanwhile, I am wandering the house looking for some kind of food, but can remember nothing of what kind. Anyway, I soon find myself watching some of the others go off running around the track at Savanna, and Shannon is trying to bug me to do so, as well. I explain I am not a runner, and there is no way I am going to join him. Meanwhile, the first of several girls dressed in a uniform that reminds me of Beauxbatons (but isn't) comes along, and is asking me to do something or support something, though I can't quite remember what. I'm not interested. A second asks, and a third, and it looks like more are on the way, and I suddenly lose it, and am yelling at her. I explain how, when I am badgered, I lose all interest in EVER helping with something, and liken it to the whole LA Fitness debacle. Everybody is looking at me in shock at how I blow up at this cute young lady. Except Shannon. He decides he is going to fight her. Things are shifting to a live-action video game that seems to be a cross between Runescape and Zelda. He is off fighting her in a PvP battle and is doing unexpectedly well against her and all her friends, and seemingly, more and more people after that. He explains that he is dual weilding, but he is not using Excalibur in his left hand as most people do. It seems every fight begins in a new Zelda-style dungeon, and by using Excalibur, you prevent the use of a sort of magic that can identify cursed items. With his being able to identify cursed items, he is able to instantly use a certain potion when he finds it, which allows the discovery of the map of the dungeon level, which makes beating his opponent and getting lots of great drops a breeze. So he's bragging about how many others he is beating, and the great loot he is getting. And somehow we're all a team, even though he is the only one that is playing, and we're getting some of the drops, and he is asking each of us to give him one of our good drops, since he is doing all the work. Now this seems very fair to me. The problem is, I haven't gotten any good drops, but just a single mini golf putter, and two balls. I decide since that's all I have got, I'll give him one of the golf balls. Problem is, I am in an office and am supposed to file some paperwork to do this, but I can't find the proper forms anywhere, and I think I can't find Julie Davey to help me with them. So I'm going to have to go the less proper way, which seems to involve some sort of runes. I know the symbols that identify me and him, and I use an arrow symbol in between (--->) to indicate 'giving.' Problem is, the golf ball is purple, but I really think it ought to be red, so I drop a sort of dye tablet into a small glass container of what seems to be water, and it bubbles and froths for a bit, and I drop the golf ball in. Problem is, either the water wasn't water, or the dye wasn't dye, because it forms a powerful acid, and it all bubbles away until I am left with a few drops of acid, and no golf ball at all. This angers me, so I throw down the glass container. Unfortunately I now find myself standing in my second bedroom in the Hickory house, and the few drops of acid have turned into about a pint or so, and I've just thrown it all over my floor, where it starts to ruin the various books and garbage and such it comes in contact with. Dirt is bubbling up out of the floor to make a slight mound liek an ant hill, and I find it has somehow brought in a bunch of ants, when I'd previously managed to get rid of them. It's quite a mess. Somehow with almost no transition I am in an Adventurers Club-type setting, discussing this with Virginia, while Bob is walking with us, and I am worried that she isn't really going to want to talk with me, because of all the Club mess and the friends I'd lost there due to the Gathering debacle and RAH and more, but I am kind of explaining where I stand, and since she is religious and conservative and I am the same, and since she was a teacher, and I support teachers (actually Bob was the teacher in real life) she doesn't actually have a problem with me. As we're talking, there is somebody else also starting to interact with us, and it seems to be Steve, the lead from the Monster House television show. He's somehow got me sitting at a desk, filling out the paperwork to sign up for a new Disney annual pass, which is quickly warping into the paperwork to join some form of the military. The problem is, he is guessing at a lot of the information, so is doing things like marking me down as a Democrat, and calling me by the wrong name abbreviation, so I am having to go through and try to correct the mistakes, and hoping that doesn't invalidate the forms.
10-01-2015 -- So I didn't write this down, and am putting it on computer a day late, so don't know how well I will remember this. It seems I am out doing a dinner mystery shop at somewhere that may be a cross between Miller's Ale House and Texas Roadhouse, and it is my assignment to eat a lot of courses, and I'm having myself a really good meal. The problem is, I'm not completely sure what I need to order, so I excuse myself for a few minutes to go out to my car to get my paperwork and check it to make sure I am doing things right. So I get out to the car (the silver Lexus) and grab the paperwork, but almost immediately am attacked by a punk who is trying to take it away from me. He looks like the blond punk from the original Karate Kid movie. I won't let go of the paperwork, and we are wrestling for a bit, and he is warning me that I am really going to regret this, but somehow I manage to get free, and return to the restaurant. When I get back in, they are slightly upset with me, because they thought I'd run off without paying, but I explain I simply needed to get something, and now I am back, and need to order dessert. I am trying to order some sort of special I'd seen advertised on a sign earlier in the meal, which was some sort of seven scoop sundae, but a different advertisement is showing now, so they are trying to put in an order for the wrong item. It's a bit confusing, and I just can't seem to get what I want to get, which is annoying. So soon I find myself getting ready to leave the place, but I seem to be leaving in a dream or a day dream or something, where I walk out into the parking lot, and approach my car to find that the punk and his gang have really done a number on it. They've stolen the tires, broken the windows, stolen everything from inside, removed the bumpers, and more. I'm left with a car that is just a somewhat mangled frame. And yet, I haven't gotten out there yet. I'm just imagining what could have happened. But then I walk out into the strip mall parking lot, and am looking for my car, and it is parked a lot closer than it was, and the gang is at it, doing the kinds of things I had imagined, but they are still at it. I had just seen a security guard, so I am calling for help, while taking pictures of the main thug with my new video camera, and he is just smirking at me, and warning me 'You just don't get it, do you?' And I am left with a bit of an impression that the local cops are corrupt, and will ignore his crimes, and that there is a good chance that instead of getting him in trouble, they may arrest me, even though they have no reason to. But I still need to pursue this, so I am wandering along the strip mall, past the comic book store, and the Melting Pot (which is what the restaurant I was eating at has turned into), looking for the police station.
06-14-2015 -- So I'm sitting on a curb in a bad neighborhood, eating something. I'm a little scared something bad is going to happen, but it is late at night, there is almost nobody on the street, and I am sitting in a small space between my car and another one, in the shadows, and am almost invisible. Some woman spots me, though, and thinks I am homeless or something, so is coming over to offer me some food or help, and I'm trying to explain I don't really need it. I start to stand up, and put a backpack or something on the convenient gate of a nearby truck, but as I am getting to my feet, it starts to drive off with my stuff. So I jump to my feet and start to chase after it, but I can't run fast enough. So I kind of launch myself into the air and fly forward, and land on the roof of the truck. It is now more or less a box truck, the kind with the cab separate, so the guy doesn't hear me land on the roof. He gets to a restaurant he is going to, and I jump off the back and more or less fly inside so I am already there when he walks in, and he doesn't suspect I got there on his roof. But as I get inside, things start to change around, and I find myself near someone I *think* is Sharon N. (not sure because it has been a very long time.) She is scared and freaking a bit, and I find she and her mother are being abused, and she hears her mother crying out in pain, so she pulls out a gun and is preparing the shoot the guy doing the abusing. At this point, I am halfway there, and halfway just watching the dream happen. I grab the gun from her, and explain her fingerprints would get her caught. Instead I wipe the gun down, then fasten it into a table-mounted vice, with it pointing out the window and right down where the guy is dragging her mother, and when he's in the right position, I push the trigger with a stick and it shoots him. We run out of there quickly, and have left no evidence behind, but because we're running, they're chasing us. We split up, but are meeting in Sharon's college dorm room, which is on about the 15th floor of a residence hall or something, and I'm just running up stairways trying to find a way to loose the cops chasing us. And there are lots of other students running around, and stuff happening, and things are just getting a bit stranger all the time, and that's where my memory just kind of fades away, though more may have happened in the first dream. [Anyway, I woke up, and worked at remembering the dream, but was feeling sick, and didn't have anything to write it down at, so I just kept thinking about it and trying to remember it, and falling asleep while I did so.] Soon I was trying to remember the dream within a dream, but within the dream little bits and pieces kept changing, and soon I find I either was, or was travelling with the Doctor, and was trying to keep things happening the way they were supposed to, while the timeline kept changing around me. Amy Pond was my companion. [Soon I woke from that dream, and found myself trying to remember the original dream, and the remembering the dream dream (which obviously almost nothing stuck around from), but still had no way to remember it, and drifted off into sleep again.] This time I found myself arriving at some sort of science fiction-related event, somewhere in California, and somehow I had managed to fly out for this massively cool thing, even though I was only going to be able to be here for the single evening. And things are just about to start, and I am trying to ask about getting a ticket. And for some reason it would be really helpful to have these odd goggle-like things, but they are expensive, and I cannot afford to buy one. But there is a lady there who has a few pairs, and is considering renting them out as a sort of business, and I explain to her that I could really use a pair, since I am only going to be here for the single night, and she says I would need to have my ticket, first. I need to speak to Someguy. There was a name there, but I sure can't remember who it was. Anyway, he had just walked away, and I try to follow him to ask about the ticket, but he's climbed up into almost a sort of DJ booth, and I am calling out to him, but with my voice he can't hear me, and doesn't want to speak to anybody, anyway. The event has started now, and I am already missing it, and I'm ticked off and annoyed, and mad enough that I am ready to just stomp out. But then I realize I am in California, and actually, though I thought it was Los Angeles, it turns out to be in San Diego, and I suddenly think I could call Bynner and arrange to meet him somewhere for a meal (maybe In and Out) before I have to fly back in the morning, which would be kind of neat.
06-13-2015 -- I'm in a room somewhere for a sort of balloon jam or lecture, and we're learning some neat and large balloon sculptures, and oddly enough Mike and Lisa are here, and they are trying to copy one of my designs, but they are "doing it wrong" and in the process coming up with a much better design, which I am then trying to copy, which just seems sort of weird. Soon we're moving along, and we're soon walking through a school that might be Savanna. I see no teachers I know, but I soon find myself walking through some lab classes that are very familiar from both real life, and dreams where I end up walking through closed up labs and finding places to hide and secret doors and passages to wander through, including off-limits employee locker rooms that I have dreamed about several times before. Unfortunately, things are changing to where I am wandering around back stage at Disneyland, where I know I am not supposed to be, and have gotten in trouble for being before, and just before I manage to exit safely, I am caught by somebody who is a cross between a blond I know from TV somewhere, but can't quite recall, and the cute Freedom Insurance agent I met last October (Murray? Something like that.) She knows me, she knows I don't belong there, and she grabs me and tells me I am in big trouble as she starts to drag me off to security, or even out of the park. It seems she is taking me somewhere to have my annual pass revoked or have me banned for life or something, and I'm really bummed out about that, but as we're walking through a parking structure, some people are driving around rather crazy, and she seems to forget about me in the process of dodging them and chasing them, and I quietly climb over a fence to the next level of the parking lot, and just kind of disappear. The bad side of things is that I cannot, for the life of me, remember where the car is parked. The good thing is, when I call Dale on the cell phone, he has it written down, and all I have to do is manage to find the section he tells me.
I was watching an outside play, it was in a desserted quarry type landscape, I was high up watching it over an army style fence. One part of the play was in the back of a truck the other outside a small building. The play was very boring. Then I was inside the building and I was watching a documentary about child abuse and it was quite graphic I watched a boy being almost drowned by a man, then thrown around, but it was almost like a cartoon. Then I knew the man was going to sexually abuse the boy and he told him to go upstairs. The next thing I was sitting with the abuser but now he was in prison and I was going to let him come and vist my house for lunch and I told him he had to behave in front of my mother. Then I felt extreme revulsion at what he had done and turned away but knew I had to forgive him. I wandered into a shop and looked around for a chocolate milkshake drink, couldn't find one and asked at the counter. I was directed outside to the back of the shop where there was a market selling fruit. I looked through all the boxes of fruit - it wasn't in good condition. Then I continued looking for a milkshake. There were fridges lined up against the shop wall and I searched through three of them. The dream detail was good at this point I remember seeing all the contents of the fridges in detail and feeling the cold. I couldn't see a milkshake but noticed some coconut milk and thought maybe that would do. It was a night of looking for milkshakes!! I was stood outside a newsagent there was a nice garden outside it, and again I wanted to go in and buy a milkshake. I went through the door it was a large wooden door. Inside it turned into a restaurant and I went over to the counter where it was really busy. I heard a woman next to me talking about medicine and asked her about it. Then I was served and I noticed the man serving was wearing a paramedic uniform, and then another paramedic came to stand next to me at the counter. We started talking and they mentionned an email I had sent when I resigned from the ambulance service and how angry I had sounded in it, I didn't remember sending an email or being angry so was quite surprised. In another dream I was on a London street having a lesson and remember looking up at the buildings they were covered in scaffolding and I could see inside them.
Again, I really suck at keeping a dream journal because I either always startle awake and lose most of the dream, or I'm just lazy and don't write anything down. But this dream has stuck with me for like two months now and I want to share it, mainly hoping someone might have some insight? Opinions? I dunno. It just freaked me out. I don't remember much because I woke up so terrified I was on the verge of crying. What I do remember, though, is an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. I'm at my boyfriends house, and we're having a normal day. Watching the game and folding laundry. I remember he's sitting across from me, and he checks the time. He makes this face like, 'huh, that time already', and he stands up. He shuts off the TV, and for a while he just stands still. I'm staring up at him perplexed because we never shut off the game. Ever. And he just turns and walks towards his room and motions for me to follow. "What's going on?" I ask him as I come around the corner, and I freeze. He's standing by his bed holding his shotgun, and he looks almost apologetic. "We need to kill ourselves today, remember?" I just stare at him. He's so calm, and I'm being calm, but again terror is flooding me and I begin to internally panic. "What do you mean? I don't want to kill myself!" And I remember having a distinct fear of dying. I am terrified to die. This is very, very interesting for me, because IRL death doesn't scare me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal or anything, but the thought of death intrigues me and fascinates me, and never in my life have I EVER been afraid of dying. Ever. It's not a fear for me. The few times I've been in actual life-or-death situations my literal inner monologue was 'huh. well, whatever happens, happens.' So for me to have a fear towards death was so perplexing enough it actually snapped me into lucidity immediately. But the weird thing was, even being lucid, I wasn't able to staunch the paralyzing fear of dying. Even though I knew that I was dreaming and I knew I shouldn't be afraid of death because I normally am not, I couldn't it. So at this point my boyfriend has his shotgun and he sits on the bed. There's a bit in between I don't recall, but the overwhelming fear of dying is constant. I remember sitting on the bed, and he hands me the shotgun. "Go first. Kill yourself and I'll be right behind you." I had an overwhelming urge to run. Up until I was lucid, committing suicide had been the goal of my dream self. And now that I was lucid and I wanted to live, I couldn't change the outcome of the dream. I remember holding the shotgun and crying because I was so scared to die. When I woke up, I was crying. It took me almost an hour to calm down, and when I did, I couldn't shake the fear of death. Once I woke up the next morning the fear itself was gone, but the feeling of that dream followed me all day.
10.6.15 Sleeping from 2pm - 7pm Then nap on sofa with TV from 8 - 9:40 then 10:40pm Had a short lucid in between 8-9:40 I forgot how I realized I'm dreaming, but I think I saw my room, only it wasn't my room and I got up from the bed. I tried to think real quick about what to do but can't think of anything. I come to and quickly make a plan to visit that beautiful saphire ocean from last dream. I immediatelly start hearing movie commercial with male voice saying something like "see this new movie..." and a picture of a shoreline with ocean appeared. I was satisfied that my subC knows what to do next time. My next dream, I opened the window and told everybody "im going for a fly". Got dressed but had to change pants and stuff, so it took a while to get out. Then I wanted to fly to tallest thing in the town. I ruled out the church tower coz reasons and next tallest was the hospital building. I knew I have to start on low things and jump/fly to higher and higher. So I started doing that. There was a building with one huge room that was like a museum and was flying from one display on the wall to next. Another room was an excercise course for soldiers, up in the air, with log bridges and typical army stuff. When I got to the end of the room, i was again at normal level with other people, not higher at all. I thought to myself that next time I have to make a better plan.
I just woke up from this one. It started out at the property of my old elementary school, I remember seeing the principal outside near the building and then I quickly turned a corner to avoid him. It was apparent that I was not allowed to be there, and I was avoiding being caught. I ended up sneaking into one of the buildings and going up a narrow stairway and opening a door to the stands of an immense stadium, there were kids on the seats and from what I could see, there were also kids on the grass below, competing in something. I don't think I can stress enough just how huge the stadium itself was. Seriously, the place was massive. I met an old friend of mine, Johnny, except he was only like 10 years old for some strange reason. Anyway, a bunch of the kids in the seats started throwing a ball around and kept trying to hit me with it, so I left. Johnny followed me, and I kept reminding him to stay quiet because I wasn't even allowed to be at the school apparently. We were sneaking around various areas of the outside part of the school. There was one point where I thought he got noticed because he just said "Run" and ran ahead into some bushes. I guess we weren't caught though? We kept moving forward into a forest area, which eventually somehow formed into a dark room with shelves in the middle. There was a fox in it for some reason, and I remember petting it. Johnny found a fox too, and we had them sitting together in a basket before I heard my mom's voice from outside, and she said something like "I wish they'd have me here (volunteer teacher probably) when my son isn't here on Friday, when he's at FESS." So... I was supposed to be there? No... The bell rang signaling the end of the day, so I picked up a fox, and went outside to show her. Only when I went to show her the fox, it ended up being one of the cats that we left behind at our old house a few years ago in real life, Silver. We were both surprised that it was him, and so she gave him some food to eat, and I'm not sure what happened after that.
I just woke up from a lucid dream so the dream is still fresh on my mind.. Lately without any reason I'll just have a lucid dream, sometimes two in a night. This is probably the 5th night it's happened, even though this time it was from a nap. I know some people find it difficult to fly, but I've flown every time I've dreamed now. What I can't seem to do is stay lucid for longer than a couple minutes. For whatever reason the first thing I want to do every single time I'm lucid is have sex. I get to the point where I'm about to have sex with someone and then I wake up every time. While in the dream I wish the person could talk and I wasn't just forcing myself on the person... Do I wake up because I am essentially raping a dream character?? I clearly know this is in my mind, I mean I can fly. This is the very short version of what happened in my dream. I realized I was dreaming, walked into my house and was wanting immediately to have sex. I look around and it was all family members so I walked outside frustrated. Then I flew up in the air and back down again,and then I was outside of a pool. There was an attractive girl in a that I started kissing and then the next thing I know BAM I'm awake. I had never seen this girl but she was wearing a green bikini (my favorite color) and she had blonde hair (my hair preference). Do you have any advice on what to do? I either want to go ahead and have sex, since that's what my mind goes to every time or figure out a way to not have that happen.
Non-dream Non-lucid Lucid Dream 1 - Spoilt rich girl I'm more of a side character in this dream, where I'm trying to get the assistance of this rich girl but I didn't succeed. The task was something along the lines of cooking for her in order to make her accept you. So a group of my friends who were a team of girls that specialized in cooking decided to do it. The rich girl kept requesting these insanely extravagant meals which pissed off the girl team who demanded that she understands that while she's eating giant chocolate marshmallow fish, there are people out there starving. Dream 2 - Chased by a dragon I'm in my parents house in the downstairs basement. It seems a bit different, there are three rooms and I'm in the middle room which connects to the other two by a door on either side of the room. I'm trying to plug in a charger to charge my iPhone which is proving extremely tedious. I've connected a whole bunch of extension cables and adapters and climbed to the top of a tall book shelf in the corner of the room in order to plug it in to the wall socket (which is above the shelf for some reason). The charger cord is about 2 metres long and looks really mismatched due to the extension cables. I remember that this also used to be my older brothers stuff. To the left a door opens from the first room and a powerful orange dragon appears (orange is apparently a high rank in this dream - btw the dragons are pretty stupid looking and they stand at human height with short stubby wings). It walks in and causes a ruckus, knocking out the charger from the wall socket which took so much effort to plug in . I killed the douche dragon and absorbed him, gaining his strength. I start climbing up the shelf and plug in the charger once more... Another orange dragon then walks into the room but I decide to hide my presence. It continues to walk across the room and opens the door on the other side leading to the 3rd room. *phew* I'm safe, I thought to myself. Now another dragon walks in from the 1st room, this time it was a brown dragon which is extremely weak. I jump down from the shelf and kill it quickly. I then grab its body and take it with me into the 3rd room and hurl the body at the orange dragon. I don't know why I did this but it got pissed off at me and started chasing me around the room. I dodge around it and have a distinct feeling that I can't beat it. I run into the next room and shut the door behind me, then hide behind the door when the dragon opens it. It wanders into the room and I leap out and run back into the room I just came from. It sees me just as I duck into the room and grabs me but I manage to shake it off and shut the door in its face . This kind of thing continues for a while in a panicky-state until I wake up.
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