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Bed time: 00.30
Get up: 08.00

I woke up a few times during the night and tried to SSILD, but I didn't have that much focus. I also fell asleep way too soon again.

Motor fun
I'm driving through the city to the campus with someone. At first it is my little brother, but at some point it becomes my housemate. First we're using bicycles. He's driving on my right side. We're talking about something, but I can't remember what. Eventually the topic of school comes up. It's a somewhat negative topic because something happened, though again I can't remember what. I avoid asking him any questions. We pass a group of police officers who are walking across the street. My little brother gets stopped by them. I continue a bit further. I think it's at this point that he turns into my housemate and I'm now riding a motorcycle. From the looks of it, it's quite lightweight. I'm standing at the end of the street, waiting. It's a T intersection, with traffic coming from both sides. There's a tram line as well. The shape of the street is like a Bell curve, with me being at the top part. I wait from the traffic from the left to pass (some motorcycles I think). I look right.. just enough time to cross the street and take a left. I do so with quite a lot of gas. A bit too much maybe, as I slide just a little bit. I hit 90 km/h before I slow down at the corner of the street to wait for my housemate. I then have a look at my lights and realise that I have been driving this whole route without. I fiddle with the buttons on my steer. It's a combination of a button on the left part and a button on the right part which does the trick. A bit weird, but ok. Somewhere along the way I think of this as my mom's motorcycle [my mom most definitely does not own a motorcycle]. My housemate shows up. I tell him I was waiting for him here.

I'm somewhere inside a house. The same housemate is seated and I'm standing. I'm excitedly telling him about the dream above. I make sure to mention that I hit 90 km/h just mere seconds after opening the gas.

Others
The first dream I can remember from this night (which was a profoundly disturbing one, so I don't feel like writing it out fully) was one where I was in the train with my girlfriend and we were talking about a dude who has been stalking her. He's quite the creep. She ends up going to his house to confront him with a knife but he overpowers her. I step in and overpower him, which creates a hostage situation.

Another (non-disturbing) one was where I helped my housemate put together some wooden shelves. I put them together in my room to later put them in her room. I don't know why I'm helping her. I don't even like her.

Ssild - Lucid

The dream started with me waking up with in my bed. I remembered to do a reality check when I woke up just in case it was a false Awakening. I did the reality check and indeed realize that I was dreaming. One of my friends where in my apartment and I told him that he was only a projection of my mind. I walked outside and it was pouring rain. It was actually raining so hard that I felt as if I was going to drown. Later on in the lucid dream there was a mini girl walking next to me about 6 inches tall. She asked me if she could be free and kind of implied that I throw her into the sky. I picked her up and threw her into the sky she began to fly.

My dreams usually hard to recall the second night after going to sleep late, it was still a cool dream from what I can remember.

Dream
I recall being in a warehouse building, it was quite big and there was some emergency going on. I get the impression that we (me and whatever faction I was with) were on the defense. At some point I remember grabbing an automatic rifle from a weapon rack. There was a large space rocket in the building, we hopped inside and launched it. I remember the power of the engine propelling us up, it was really intense. The building was collapsing all around us as we shot up, the ship then tilted and started navigating around the falling debris. We just managed to duck out of the building and into the open sky, and then had to pull straight up to avoid a tall wall or something. Because we were going up at too extreme of an angle, the ships engine sputtered and stop, at this point the spaceship is now a helicopter instead. The helicopter blades stop spinning and the it starts to free fall. There's massive panic, we're trying desperately to start the engine, but it's a damn helicopter, even if we do will it stop the fall?!?! Right before we hit the ground the blades spin into action, instantly the helicopter slows and then shoots off forward in a very non-helicopter-like fashion.

1. I was standing next to an elevator. This elevator was inside of a rather large room with light yellow walls and dark brown hard wood flooring. There were about 5 or 6 other people standing with me waiting for the elevator to come down so we could get in. Of the 6 people, 3 of them were security guards. Two of them were male and one was female. One stood out to me in particular. He was the biggest security guard and basically had the body of a power lifter, but even bigger. He had long black hair that was in a pony tail and a thick black mustache and connecting beard. Someone started a conversation and we all talked. Suddenly the biggest security guard started giving off a hostile vibe. "You" he said pointing to me "Give me all of your money right now". "I don't have any money in my wallet at all" I told him, but I was lying. He then starts telling everyone else to give him their money, but none of them seem to really respond and just ignore him. Out of fear that he was going to kill me I say, "Actually, I do have a 20 in my wallet, but that's it". "Give it to me right now" he says holding out his hand waiting to receive it.
I then decide not to give him the money and I turn around and sprint away from the group of people and security guards. "Get him!" the big security guard yells. From behind me I then hear groups of footsteps running towards me at a fast pace. I speed up. I realize that this is only a room, and the elevator was the only way out, so I have no where to run. Not far ahead of me though there is a series of large glass windows with white wooden frames. I run up to them and start hammer fisting one of the windows. Because I sped up my pace, I still have about 30 seconds before the security guards catch up to me. Eventually I break the glass and go through the window, but the windows don't lead outside, they lead to a small room. The windows have rather large shades on them, so I duck behind one of the windows and wait.
The female security guard reaches me first. She sees the broken window and inspects the area. Seconds later she spots me, but she gives me the kind of "I understand what's going on and I'm not going to rat you out" kind of look, and looks away pretending to have not seen me. The other male security guard comes and sees the broken window, but he does the same thing that the female security guard does. About a minute later the big security guard comes in, shaking the entire ground as he does so. "Where is he at!?" he says. The other two security guards remain silent. He notices the broken window seconds later, and as he does I sprint out and run into another nearby room, but there's still no way out of this building.
In the room I run into, there is a king sized bed with very light yellow sheets and regular white pillows. The room must've been not that large considering the bed took up a good 85% of the room. I hid on the side of the bed farthest from the door and ducked down. I hear the big security guard walk in, and I can tell he is starting to look around for me. I remember pulling a sharp object out of my pocket and getting ready to use it. Suddenly my point of view shifts and I find myself as a floating point of consciousness above my body, and I can see that the big security guard is looking right in my direction as though he knows for sure where I'm hiding now.
Out of no where he gives up and walks out. I walk out of the room not long after he does and go back to the main room where the elevator is at. Now there's a large white table in the middle of the room and a few girls standing around it, along with a small puppy boxer which they are petting. I walk up to them and one of them says, "Look at him, he's so cute". I go over to the puppy and pick him up. His tail wags at a million miles an hour and he licks me on my face. I hug him and then set him back down. I then realize that there are other dogs in the room as well, but they appear to be fully grown and not puppies.

2. I was in the cafeteria of what appeared to be my high school. It actually fairly resembled the waking life version of the cafeteria really well. The floor was covered in white tiles, the walls were white with the occasional blue or red stripe, and there were many long white tables all around. What was different however, was that there was a huge red T.V set in the middle of the cafeteria with a large flats screen tv in it. The lights were dimmed throughout the entire cafeteria as well. I was sitting at one of the lunch tables that was closet to the exit of the school, and I think some friends were sitting with me. We weren't the only ones here though, there were a few people sitting at other tables around the cafeteria, but for the most part it was really vacant.
As I looked at the TV I noticed that on the other side of it there was a giant dude. He was huge, at least 12 feet tall and was actually big boned, not fat. He had long black hair and was wearing a striped jacket with red, blue, and gray stripes on it, and he also had on regular blue jeans that weren't fitted. He had his head down and it seemed as though he was sad or something. For some reason I decided to be a douchebag and I said to the people sitting next to me, "What is that guy doing here? He looks like a loser."(I usually never make fun of people ever). No one replied to my comment, and suddenly the entire cafeteria got dead silent. No one talked or made a sound, and even the TV seemed to be muted.
I got up from the table and walked over to the area next to the cafeteria where the stairs to the second floor are. I sat down on the floor in this area for some reason, and I remember feeling bad about what I said. Suddenly a group of half naked girls approach me. There seemed to be about 15 or so girls. Each one was wearing a different color bikini. Once they got up to me they sat down next to me and started laying on me. "Aright I don't know where this came from, but I'm definitely okay with it" I thought to myself. The girls started taking my clothes off and touching me everywhere. At this point I was turned on to say the least(lmao). Suddenly all of the girls got permanent markers. They took the lids off of their markers and started poking me all over my body. I was quickly being covered with dots of all colors, and knowing that it was permanent marker, I had to put a stop to this. "Girls girls, can you please stop poking me with your markers, this shit is permanent" I said.
None of them stopped even for a second. I noticed that all of the girls seemed to be getting hot and sweaty, and while they were still poking me, they were also putting their body up against mine in very sexual ways. Out of no where one girl comes in front of me and pours a glass of milk all over me. Now I am covered in warm white milk and dots, and the floor around me is a mess. I have no idea what is even going on at this point.

17/4/16 (I had some really vivid and epic dreams last night )
Dream 1: I was in a minecraft world, similar to a map played on by youtubers which my brother tells me about. I fly around the map to look at all the stuff there and I see an area which he had pointed out for myself. I then check out a guys base and then play hide and seek for a bit with someone else.

Dream 2: I was a giant dragon, head of the tribe of dragons but my leadership was under threat. A rival dragon, huge and jet black, was leading a mutiny against me, and I had begun fearing for my life. I was near my house I believe when A swarm of smaller dragons appeared out of nowhere and rushed me. I heard a deep roar from the distance and new my nemesis was coming, so fighting off the smaller dragons was hopeless, so I took flight instead. I soared up into the sky; a few of the smaller dragons tried to follow me but my size enabled me to fly higher and faster than any of them, any of them except for the black dragon, who I could see on the horizon. I flew nearly up to the stratosphere and travelled to a refuge, or more likely a battleground as the black dragon was following me. After a while I landed in the backyard of my old house, exhausted, and a few seconds later the black dragon dropped down beside me. He and I exchanged a few words, about betrayal, violence and acceptance. I knew I was too tired to attempt to fight him, so I resigned myself to my fate. Instead of killing me though, like I thought he would, he instead shrunk me down, either to a tiny dragon size or a large human size (I was still around 8 feet tall). I was surprised, and looked at him only to discover a tear in his eye. "I need you" he said, revealing his true feelings for the first time, "I hold you in deep respect, and I need your advice. I want you to be my general." I was shocked by his generosity and humility, so I graciously accepted his offer. After this moment a small dragon arrived out of breath, acting as a messenger for the other dragons. "Tell them that this has been resolved, peacefully", the black dragon rumbled to the messenger, and as the messenger flapped away he turned to me and smiled. "friend", he finished.

Dream 3: I was in a house with about 3 or 4 other people, all of whom were activists for Bernie Sanders. We were cleaning up the house and preparing to leave, sensing something bad was going to befall us, when a few black vans appeared in the driveway. People in suits from the banks appeared out of them and strode towards the door. They pulled out their guns and we all ducked for cover. A couple of us fell to them immediately while the other two tried to fight them off. They killed a few but then were forced to retreat. We all hid in various parts of the room as they swept through, playing dead or simply hiding from sight. Eventually they left without finding any of us, so we all breathed a sigh of relief that the three of us had survived. In the aftermath we were sure that it was Hillary Clinton who had organised these hits, trying to stop us from voting. We slept overnight and then we woke up in the morning. I went outside with one of the guys to get the newspaper, but we saw a few lights flash as soon as we stepped outside. I pulled us back inside and just in time, as the front of the door was sprayed in bullets. We tried to escape out the back, but I don't know what happened after that.

Dream 4: I was in a large chamber with several totems with runes carved into them. Some crazy sorcerer summoned a storm dragon which he told me I had to defeat to prove my worth. I ran around the room, looking at all the runes, until I found a set which taught me a shout (skyrim). It was a cyclone shout, which I used against the dragon to buffet it away and create openings for my sword.

Fragment: Some kind of sexy time.

Fragment: Feedback from one of my lecturers about revision questions.

I'm walking underneath a tree, its a willow tree I think. Theres a bench behind the tree and a Donnovan is staring at the ground. I remember feeling as if I'm being pulled from the dream. I try to anchor myself and succeed. Although I feel more like a ghost in the dream vs actually being there. Donnovan gets up and walks over to where I'm standing by the tree. He stops in front of me. He seems to be focusing on something, then he looks up and I can feel myself being pulled to him. Then I get this intense feeling, like whenever you try to breath but your heart is beating so fast that your body won't let you take a deep enough breath. Anyways, everything goes black and I sit there in the darkness.

Ritual: I've had a bit of a dry spell lately, and even worse than the lack of lucid dreams has been the sensation of diminished overall awareness: my sleep lately has been distressingly ordinary. I'm still waking up frequently during the night, but now I can't even tell what time it is—usually I can guess accurately within ten minutes or so. When sleeping properly I always wake up a few minutes before my alarm, no matter what time I set it for, but lately the alarm has been waking me. I've been having an ordinary number of dreams, but they too are lacking even in rudimentary awareness. In the past, stressful periods at work have boosted my LDing, but I feel like maybe I'm getting a bit burnt out, so I've started using sleep as a form of escapism, instead of an opportunity for more interesting kinds of work. I've become a lazy sleeper!

Probably because of this lack of awareness, this time even when I started wondering if I was really dreaming, I continued to find the environment and events extremely persuasive and followed the plotline to its end. Only then did I take the time to deliberately RC. The only aspect of this that isn't disappointing is the fact that, once having noted I might be dreaming, I did manage to hold that thought and then come back to it, instead of just forgetting. I also felt as though my rational mind was functioning well in the way it recognized the dream sign, something that hasn't always been reliable.

The dream plot was based on waking life residue. Last night (in WL) around 1:30am we heard the sound of someone going through our trash bins outside the house, even though the bins are through a gate which, although it has no lock, clearly demonstrates a property boundary. Unfortunately there is no window through which to observe that area, and by the time I went out with a flashlight the person was gone.

The same thing happened in the dream, except that the person had left behind bags of newspapers, and I was worried they might contain criminal evidence. I wasn't sure if I should call the police, as I had already moved some of the bags, so my prints were now on them too. There were many more minor details and events that would only be tedious to record here, so I'll skip them.

Later the garbage-pickers come back, and I realize I can see them if I get the right angle through a window (not true in RL). I want to take pictures for evidence, but I have trouble pulling up the camera on my phone, normally a very simple operation. Even when I do get the camera working, it is too zoomed in and I can't frame the shot properly. I recognize these technical difficulties as dream signs, but at the moment I'm too caught up in events to RC.

The garbage-pickers leave before I can get a good shot, so I go around the front of the house for another try. The camera is still giving me trouble, and once again I notice how much it resembles a dream sign, even though this doesn't feel like a dream. After a few more minor incidents that plotline wraps up, and I now realize that I can give my full attention to checking whether or not I am dreaming. Everything has felt very real and convincing, but I know well how little that sensation can be trusted.

I jump... inconclusive. I came down quickly enough, but the jumping itself felt easier than I think it should, as though I am not lifting my full body weight. I jump a couple more times, trying to draw out the moment at the apex. It might actually be lengthening as I focus on it. My suspicion grows, I jump a bit more, and then sure enough, I find that I can pause at the top, hovering in the air. That clinches it. It was a dream all along.

What now? It's been so long since I've been lucid that I just want to explore and enjoy the environment. I look out the glass wall of the living room and see an expanse of snowy fields and pine forest stretching to a distant low mountain, utterly unlike the RL scenery. I feel satisfied with this prospect, so I fly through the glass without hesitation and start soaring over the landscape, looking down and enjoying the clarity of visual detail. I'm reminded of a recent conversation with a WL friend who also turned out to be an LDer, who mentioned that he prefers not to do tasks but would rather just fly around and enjoy the environment. Today that feels just fine.

I fly to the top of the mountain and land, hoping to explore on foot. There is a problem with scale, however: I am huge in relation to the mountain. My feet cover its entire upper surface. I take off into the air again, hoping I didn't crush too many trees and little creatures. The distorted scale now makes everything feel artificial, and the dream destabilizes. I exert will to remain in the dream state as it deconstructs, and for a moment I find myself flying through a black boundless space marked with thin white lines running horizontally and vertically in three dimensions. It strongly resembles the conception of virtual space in the movie Tron. I recognize that this is unconstructed dream space, and try not to let it disconcert me that the dream has faded, and I feel very close to being awake... I remind myself that if I should be able to enter a new scene if I can just be patient and maybe suggest something.

I'm trying to stay relaxed, so I imagine lying in a bath of warm water. This makes me realize that my flying feels like swimming so I use the idea. I am swimming underwater in a pool of water that is no different from my body temperature—that's why I don't feel it. And of course I can breathe underwater, because why not? These thoughts in mind, I now think I can see the glimmering underside of the water's surface just above my head, so I fly up and break it, preparing to find myself in a new scene. I notice how seamlessly my breathing remains the same as I transition from breathing water to air, and again this feels too artificial for my liking, but I try not to let it disrupt the dream.

I am in an empty tiled space containing a pool. The lining of the pool is made of identical square beige tiles as the walkway around it and the low walls bounding the space. It appears to be outdoor because the walls don't go up all the way, but there is no impression of any surrounding environment, much less sky or weather. It is still very vague and plain and artificial; perhaps it could be described as "semi-constructed dream space." I look around for something notable, perhaps a DC, and I begin to hear music. It is a simple melody on a plucked string instrument, like a medieval lute. I don't see anyone else, but vision isn't perfect now, so I keep listening and looking. The song ends, and a woman's voice says, "Thanks, I really enjoyed this one song." There is a kind of parenthetical remark appended to the sentence in the same voice that I perceive simultaneously, though I don't seem to "hear" it as literally as the words just spoken. The parenthetical remark is: "...after a moment's reflection." In ordinary text one could write it as:

"Thanks, I really enjoyed this one song (after a moment's reflection)."

But that wouldn't quite convey the effect that the parenthetical part was not spoken aloud, and that it had a kind of simultaneity with the statement itself.

Feeling confident that I will momentary see the singer, I keep looking around... and feel paws on my face, my real face. The cat has chosen just this moment to come back to bed, waking me. Damn!

I had been put in Quarantine by the government because I had been diagnosed with a disease that caused your eyeball to sweat. I remember I only had it in one eye.

Apparently the disease could only affect five people at any one time, Teens/Young Adults. (I'm 20 and I was on the older end of people who got it.) But it made you very dangerous to the people around you because although the eyeball sweat wasn't toxic to you, it was violently poisonous to anyone else. They took me to a secret government facility underground that was basically like a house with five rooms. A central kitchen/living room area and five separate personal bed/bathrooms.

When I got there, I learned that every year, one of the five random people who has the disease will transfer it randomly to someone else in the world and lose it themselves. I was the new person who had come in and the person going out was leaving after having had it for three years.

I remember then the government guys took me down and showed me to my accommodations deep underground. They would come in hazmat suits, bring us food and the likes. I remember one of them taped a ping-pong ball onto my left eye. A you girl, about 6, told me it was alright to take it off, so I did. She started reading to me from a children's book.

She read to me something. I swear I looked at the book and it said: Roses are Red, Violets are blue. A lucid dreamer is you. But I didn't become lucid though. Instead I opened up my laptop and lost a dream.

-WBTB-

I did a few RCs.

A fragment, something to do with my animation project that is due tomorrow.

NLD +1
Frag +0.5
WBTB Fail +2

Total: 4.5

April 17, 2016- 4:30 am

Dream #1: I was in this specialty tourist shop. It was decorated in true beach colors of coral & peach. It was surrounded by what I first thought were mountains but turned out to be giant hills located off the shores of some ocean. My dream family owned this place. (no real life family in this dream) The theme here was like a tourist shop but it had high end art that our family had made, too. Which also stayed true to the beach theme. It was actually quite detailed, which still surprises me when I get that in a NLD. My sister was asking me "Hey, do you remember that small shark themed piece that mom did?" Then she was irritated that I didn't remember it. She said we should go to our other shop & ask our dad about it. So we went there. We didn't travel or anything. We just walked down an isle and were there! Boy wouldn't that save on gas, lol. This is the first time I really contemplated travel like this w/ someone else. Even in the dream I started thinking it was odd.... So we got to our other shop which was basically identical to the other one. Our dad was there & she asked him if he remembered it & he found it. It was about the size of a kids ant farm but it was just as she said, shark themed w/ shells & sand & stuff in a frame under glass.... At this point I realize why she is frustrated. She mentions that our mother died & apparently this was one of the last thing she had made....... This dream was starting to take a turn towards being lucid when I started realized how we had traveled but Meesha strikes again & woke me up. I want to close the door but the last time I did that she payed me back by pottying somewhere other than outside or in her litter box. She has her own door so she can come & go as she pleases.

Dream #2: (I will explain after I tell my dream) This dream was dramatically different! This has my real life family in it. In the dream it was basically a power struggle of sorts. It was my sister Dena & my aunt Lana were trying to get me to talk to my grandma Daisy. It was a big power struggle. This crazy dynamic went on & on in some house around a counter that was actually in Crazy Daisy's house when I was growing up. It looks exactly like a diner counter w/ the Formica counter tops, including the extra shelf like counter above it. You'd have to look it up, I can't really explain it better than that. So anyway, here she comes. Crazy Daisy. She is now in my dream & is trying to manipulate me once again. But I won't let her. I'm very firm w/ her & don't stoop to anyone's level. I'm just solid w/ my answers & don't allow them to wear me down... I choose to opt out of this dream & just wake up... ...


Details: My grandma Daisy, who is my mom's mother. (I call her Crazy Daisy). She is still alive & I refuse to talk to her because she is a terrible human being & I choose to not have anything to do w/ her. I watched how she disrespected my grandfather when he was alive & she tortured my mother which affected my relationship w/ my mother when I was a kid & was going through a serious trauma in my life... My mom & I are all good now... It should be noted that this woman was also very mean to me as a child.... I would have to go to her house many times a yr & it was pure torture. My mother's youngest sister is a couple of weeks older than me. Her name is Jill... This created a strange family dynamic. So when I'd go there, Crazy Daisy would tell me all about her prodigy prim & proper daughter & how I she was so much better than me, it was quite the production she put on, believe me! She called me really nasty names & it was just pure torture.... She's a manipulative liar & I refuse to have that toxic person anywhere near my family in any way at all.... If she dies, I will not be attending this event & am totally okay w/ that... My mom totally agrees w/ me about her being a mean manipulative liar & all but she says she tries to look past it now & looks at her as this little old lady. This is her prerogative & I respect that but my position will remain the same.

Side Note: I would not be surprised if she calls me, dies or someone mentions her in the very near future because that happens to me a lot in my life when I dream of someone I don't usually see... example: I had a dream about one of my husband's ex & logged it in my journal & then he calls me from work saying she called him at work & he had to report the call to security. (because she is insane.)


Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple

Fell asleep: 1:55 A.M. (with 25mg trazodone)
Woke up: 8:10 A.M.

6 hours 14 minutes sleep last night
5 hours 10 minutes restful sleep
1 hours 4 minutes restless sleep
83 % restful sleep

Fragment 1:

Apparently my Uncle J made a surprise visit, and he transported his pool water with him and put it in a ditch. We went there to see him. The water was turquoise blue. I got upset because K, J's daughter, was there too, and no one had told me. This would be the third time my sister had surprised me with her and put me in a vulnerable position.

Gap.

I was in the water and trying to swim around, but it was just way too shallow and uneven for it.

Note: While my sister did hurt me twice IWL, one time involved school friend A and the other another school friend (L) and her dad. K had nothing to do with it, but my dad was talking to J & K via Skype yesterday.

Fragment 2:

Cole (Pillywiggin on here) showed me about 7 sheets of paper. They were all from penpals he was writing to. I was surprised and like "why didn't you tell me? :O". They all had fanart drawn on them, some had a little text, some had a lot, but they were all in Japanese.

-Detective Conan. Doodles of Conan mainly I think. There was a lot of text on it and I was worried Cole wouldn't be able to read it all. Some part of me asked why Cole would have this, because he isn't into DC like me.
-Undertale. I remember a small Toriel doodle.
-Sailor Moon. The page was mostly filled with a colored illustration of Sailor Moon.
Aaand that's all the ones I remember. :'<

Cole said that the art he'd sent back was all from the Homestuck game he'd been making but had never finished.

I was really curious about doing it too, but I wasn't that great at art like Cole so I was worried what I'd put in my letters.

Wakeup times:
7:25 A.M. for 20 minutes

General notes:

I find it so interesting when I question things in the dream idly. I can see where it could lead to becoming lucid if more awareness was in the picture. It's kind of amusing to be going along in the dream and be like 'but x doesn't make sense' and such and still just...keep going. Either because you make up an excuse or because you shrug it off. *smh*

Note to self: This lucid dream was actually on Tuesday April 12th

Alrighty, I've decided that from this point forwards, I will dream journal my lucid's here on Dreamviews. I want to be more active, but writing all my dreams here wouldn't realistically happen. I'm writing this more to myself then you (whoever you are), because once it's on the internet I will feel accountable.

I have a false awakening in which I walk downstairs and sit down in the chair in my living room. I promptly feel as though I've pooped myself. This is disgusting, and at the time it felt as though it was real. I panic and run to the bathroom and try to clean my underwear. I finally get them somewhat clean and start to put them back on to discover that my shirt and pants, which in the dream were on my body, had fallen off and into the toilet bowl. I grab my old and ratty beach towel - which I realize shouldn't be in the downstairs bathroom - and wrap myself up in it. I scoop up my clothes and run upstairs. I'm still not lucid, and I'm worried someone will see me running, wrapped up in a beach towel carrying sopping wet toilet clothes. No one does. I go into my bedroom and notice everything is both open and empty; my water bottle, my paint tubes, the drawers and the dresser. Every item that can hold contents is both open and empty. I think in the dream that I've been robbed. I'm exasperated at this point. How could my morning go so terribly wrong? I'm so close to lucidity at this point, when I notice one item is not empty. It's a DS game box on my desk, which is odd in itself, holding two Pokemon games. I don't own two Pokemon games in real life, and I'm finally jolted lucid. I'm also miraculously clothed again, but that doesn't register until I wake up. I plug my nose and stand there, breathing through it and staring at my dresser. I eventually realize that being able to breathe through my plugged nose means I must be dreaming. I'm still not fully lucid. To double check and confirm I am dreaming, I try the thumb-through-hand reality check. I've nose-plug reality checked dozens of times, but the thumb one I've always avoided. It's never worked for me before the few times I've tried, and kind of grosses me out. In the moment, however, I felt like I needed more confirmation I was dreaming. I closed my eyes, held my breath and pushed my right thumb through remarkably realistic skin, flesh and between my hand bones. I yanked it out, and felt the urge to check my hands to see whether or not I'd wounded myself. There was no hole or wound in my palm, but both hands looked slightly bloody.
Finally aware of my dreaming state, I try to remember the Task of the Month. This month was the first time I'd really decided to attempt them. All I could recall of the "eat an object that isn't edible" task was "eat", so I walked down to the kitchen, a surprising logical thing to do considering the illogical things I'd done so far. I found that there were huge signs hanging from the ceiling advertising sales as though my kitchen was a grocery store, which I focused on to keep my lucid. My family starts pestering me, speaking mostly gibberish and nonsensical things like "What are you doing filling the swimming pool up there?" and speaking it all with a tone that implied an insult. I open the fridge and grab a block of cheese, but wake up before I can eat it. I'm pretty disappointed I didn't become lucid sooner, given all the ridiculous things that happened, and that I couldn't remember the task in it's entirety. On the bright side, it was a wonderfully vivid dream and I was much better at focusing on my surroundings to stay lucid and stable.

I am walking up a mountain with my little cousins. This mountain appears to be Grumble Volcano from Mario Kart. When we reach the top their parents come and they leave. Then suddenly I am at my cousins house. We're up stairs just talking. And then her dad comes and says we need to go to Costco so I tell her were leaving.

7-8.30am
Short LD #395
The first part of the dream I can recall starts in a car, but then the road takes a right and turns into a set of steps. The car vanishes. Punisher (Jon Bernthal) is standing at the bottom. He looks like he has been awake all night, exhausted, beaten up.

Punisher starts telling us about digging holes, and searching for something. I follow his lead.

At some point we end up in the road and I'm now on a motorbike. This makes me lucid because the acceleration is wrong; opening the throttle seems to do nothing. I try to get past a massive lorry and something clips my leg but I ignore it.

Now that the bike is properly under my control the speed is much improved. I try to go as fast as possible. The road also switches from driving on the right to driving on the left, as that's more familiar to me being British.

In order to get some points I need to find some way to do a stunt, but there are no ramps or anything to use as one. The hill is steep and filled with cars to dodge. At the top of the hill there is a tall building and I lift the motorbike into a wheelie while approaching the wall. It starts to travel vertically up. The dream fades before I reach the top.

Created Sunday 17 April 2016

I could identify having many dreams today, but failed to remember most of these. One in particular was repeated numerous times throughout the night.

Dream 1 - Be The Flame

The visuals were somewhat dim. I found I was in the form of a candle's light, glowing red, feeling an odd sensation of constant warmth, near weightlessness, and near amorphousness. Dark smoke clouded the area above as I burned through the wick. Further below was the white candle itself. Everything past that was but pure darkness.

From the start, I knew of the dream state... somewhat. My dream form proclaimed as much, but I never fully understood the implications. Whatever the case, "I" had apparently recently accomplished all of my primary dream goals, all these supposedly represented as the smoke rising above me. There was nothing left for me to do, I thought. Nothing else, but to be the flame. It was a peaceful and happy experience.

This went on for a while until I awaken a few minutes later. I then have repeated instances of this dream, at least four or five of them, varying between being completely unaware, or having my dream form attesting to being in a dream once again.

Scrap Group 1
Two dreams of wandering in a school, I think? One of these had me interacting with a blonde girl in her early-mid twenties. We've apparently met up via a lucid dream forum (a made up one, I believe). As we conversed on that topic, the girl gave a surprise peck on my lips, leaving me stammering, my cheeks glowing from both appreciation and embarrassment. Some of her hair got caught in my lips, which I pulled out. She intterupts me a few more times with more short kisses.

One dream where something overtly gory happened. A guy getting his head bit off by a monster, or something?

I remember talking to a friend about collaborating on writing; I remember trying to convince someone of something; I remember feelings of frustration and anxiety. I did not attain lucidity at any point, and slept very poorly, often waking up and not being able to go back to sleep.