lucid

I finally did it.

Basically, I was in school, which seems to recur in my dreams, and as I was walking between to lessons, I thought, "it's the holidays, there is no school" my dream self performed an RC and I could breath through my blocked nose. I then thought, I'm dreaming. at first I had little control and kept walking to my next lesson, then I kept repeating, I am dreaming, I am in control, and I eventually gained total control. I couldn't teleport, but I wondered around the school, and because I had no urgency to get to lessons, nor did the others.
I discussed with one of my teachers about the fact that I was dreaming, and then he pointed out the floating island directly above us. I explored the school and even spoke to some friends, but I can't remember what I said, nor what they said.
The dream ended when I saw the floating island flicker, disappear, then reappear until I woke up.

A very strange, yet rather fun experience.

08.06.2012

7th lucid dream, losing control and ..Spiders? (MILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Tonight, I had alot of false awekenings (if you can call it that), where i would wake up in my bed, and just go back to sleep, unless ofcourse, I do a reality check.

I woke up in my bed, and imidiatly noticed something seemed "off", I then counted my fingers, plugged my nose, and boom. Lucid!

I got up from the bed, and quickly gathered my thoughts.
I remembered that if I got over excited, I would wake up. So I chilled out for a sec, and then looked at my hands again. I tried clarifying, but it somehow didn't really work as intended. It got clearer, but nothing like my other LD's. I then remembered, that I had heard on DreamViews, that some people through them self out of windows, if they want to "kickstart" their LD, and it seemed like a good idea. I went over there, and opened one of my windows. I tried going through the open window, but the opening was too small. I looked out of the open window, and stared at the sky. It was fucking amazing. The sun was getting up, wich made the whole sky kind of orange/red. The garden was also wird, and even though I didn't seem to notice in the dream, I remember now. It was Not my garden, and I don't think I've ever seen it before. It was a little area with grass, and a nice fluffy hedge around it.

Anyway, I then opened a new window, and tried climbing out of that, that was too small too. I then tried opening a THIRD window, but when I got it open, guess what I saw. A giant fucking spider, sitting right in the top of the window opening. I was noping pretty hard, and I think this is where I lost control.

I then tried several other windows, but they where all filled with spiders.

funny thing, even though the dream was filled with spiders, I wasn't scared at all, I just found it annoying, because I wanted to go out the window. It wasn't a nightmare, just a little annoying, wich is weird, because if it happened in real life, I'd be noping so hard...

I then looked around, and was suddenly in some basement. It was a mix of my dad's basement, and something I've dreamt about before. I was still trying to find a window to jump out of, but I got lost in the basement. Finnaly my brother came by, because he needed to use the toilet, and he showed me the way back to the room. When I got there, there was spiders on my bed, and I just kind of stoof there, thinking "wtf do I do...?". So I woke myself up, and started writing this .

IN CONCLUSION:
I need to read some tutorials on how to take/keep control of the dream, once you are finnaly in there.
This is the last dream I've ruined, because I couldn't take/keep control. My next dream will be so god damn awesome, just wait!

Non-Lucid part:
I'm a professional football player and I'm in a street near from the place where the players of my team stay. I'm walking and speaking with two of them. A helicopter passes over us and we start to smile to the camera. I say something funny and we laugh.
The dream scene changes and and playing soccer in a hall with a lot of DC's and one guy from a tv show that I like, he is known as "Bolinha" and he is wearing a jacker exactly like one that I have.
I make some wrong passes and lose some opportunities of making goals and Bolinha starts to complain to me. He continues to complain and do that for a lot of time. I get very angry and think "I know that I'm dreaming, I'm gonna punch Bolinhas' face right now".
I become lucid but the dreams starts to fade very fast. I wake up completely still and remember "my technique" of imagining my dream body moving in the first scenario that comes to my head, it works once again

Lucid Part:I "wake up" in "my bedroom" already looking to my brother's bed, but it's not there, there is a mat in its place. I'm always sure that I am dreaming, I decide to look at my hands and bingo. My right hand has about 15 fingers, like three little hands stuck in it. Now I'm sure that I am dreaming, I shout "Stabylize" and it works.
My room is on a strange house, the house is completely dark and my window is made of wood and is blocked by a wall.
I decid to pass trough the window, I can't do it at first, but I try again saying "pass trough" till I pass the half of my arms.
It was the only time that I felt so hard to pass trough a solid object.
I start to pass my head trough the window when it is half passed I start to fear the possibility of something coming from behing me. When my mouth gets covered by the window I feel like I can't say "pass trough" anymore and get stuck. I pull my right arm breaking the window and give up on passing trough it.
I decide to go to the other side, I start to fly fast and pass trough the other wall of my room, I see a window and finally get out from that house.
I'm flying over a soccer field that is near from my church in Catuji (Catuji is the city I used to live). Some kids are playing soccer there. For a while I think about taking their ball but I don't. I fly very fast now passing near from some eletricity wires. I see a big killer whale dead next to the field, its mouth is a little strange. I start to fly more erect to lose speed till I start just hovering in the air, then I wake up.

Dream Stats:
Went to sleep: 00:00am
Duration: ~20min (10 non-lucid / 10 lucid)
Woke up at: 8:30 am

Non-lucid Chain: W-vacuum-noodlephoto-funeralnotice-Claudia-$5buttdress-Rammsteinspikedhair.

Non lucid part:

Came back to add the non lucid stuff based on that ^^. It's my new form of remembering dreams when I'm still in bed, waking up now and then, so I don't have to actually get up and write in a jjournal, whereby waking myself up too much. I call it "Linking Dream Topics."

Ok the first and worst, the vacuum. I dreamed that I was at work, and I went to the meat department. I was looking for the ATL from seafood, oddly enough. And he was there. So I found him and followed him to the back of the meat department. Looked much different than in real life. It was huge and dark and deep and cavernous. As I followed behind him, I saw all kinds of strange devices, including a vacuum type apparatus that was used to suck out the eyeballs out of the lambs before processing the rest of the carcass. I remember seeing some eyeballs still in the clear tubes attached to the vacuum. They still had eyelids and some were still trying to blink somewhat.

Later, I had a dream that really seemed to be in Red River again. I remember walking to the end of one of those mountainous, dusty roads, and there was a huge trailer. It was a film developing studio. For some reason, I thought it was extremely cool that it was what it was, and went inside. It was full of asians, and one offered me a bowl of noodles while he developed my film (that I didn't know I had). Best. Noodles. Ever. I remember them being egg noodles, the lo mein kind that I saw them make on Sesame Street once. I remember tasting toasted sesame oil, and there was thai basil and other vegetables. The whole dish was reminiscent of thai curry. I was just going at it with chop sticks until the dream changed again.

Margaret from Highland Park finally kicked it, and I was supposed to write the eulogy. I kept procrastinating it until I saw other TLs at the graveyard, all complete with eulogy papers on their tombstones. So I stressed over writing one.

Then some stress about getting a dress. I could only use $5, but the dresses were $100 or more. Then Claudia was wearing one and her normally fat squarish butt suddenly looked really round and bulbous. And I thought on the fact that I never noticed the bouncy bulbousness, which was REALLY apparent under the thin fabric of the dress. Hoppity hop hop hop..

Dream changes to the Rammstein concert I went to in 2001, just 1 month after 9-11. I was amazed they let me fly from my El Paso gig to Dallas for the concert. In real life I met them, and in the dream I did too. Only this time, Til didn't cover his 'do. Me or someone said "Oh your spiky hair looks like a porcupine." And he had a gruff remark.

So I set my alarm to go off at 11:15am, because I had #DVA at 11:30. When it went off, I resigned myself to not having any lucids, and just hit snooze to sleep stress-free for 5 minutes. Then I had an FA and got up to go to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror at my teeth. There was an unusual gap in between them, like the tooth had gotten chipped a little. I have a tiny filling there in real life, so I thought maybe the filling got knocked out or something. I thought, damn.. I really need to make a dentist appointment and get this fixed. I touched the gap and little flakes of tooth(?) wiped away. I got worried, like maybe I was losing a chunk of tooth or something. But when I wiped it away completely, the gap was gone and my teeth were normal again. I was relieved, and stepped back from the mirror a bit to look at my whole reflection. My lips looked really weird now.. like just, not mine. Not the same size or shape or anything. So I said, waaaiiiit a minute, this is a false awakening! I looked at my eyes really close, and sure enough, the irises were milky green, and no pupils. So I left the bathroom went to the bedroom door, where Daisy and Bella were sitting there, looking up at me. They are NEVER in my room. I just said "Hey doggies" and they wagged their tails. So I left the room and started down the hall. I knew at this point that I only had a few minutes, because I knew I had hit the snooze button in real life, and it was only for 5 minutes. And I had no idea how long I was in the bathroom. As I went down the hall, it got darker, and one eye went blind. I lifted my hands and the other eye went dimmer. I just kept walking down the hall, waving my hands and clapping, but everything looked like a big brown out. I wasn't waking up, so I just kept going. FINALLY, I ended up in a livingroom that wasn't my house. But Chris was there, playing and watching TV. Everything was much brighter and stable. I knew I didn't have much time, and I was feeling randy as usual, so I started to leave to look for an adult. I felt for my stuff as usual, and at one point it turned into a foot temporarily, but I fixed it lol. Then I woke up from the alarm before attempting anything.

I should have just utilized those 5 minutes to attempt the TOTM, since I was right there at the damn mirror anyway. But I forgot about it. Balls.

I was trying to WILD, I fell asleep, dreamed of being at my relatives' place, woke up, rolled over and soon found myself in this dream. (A DEILD, yes?)

[COLOR="#2e8b57"]I'm walking from my room to the living room. I know it's a dream, but I want to see what my mom would tell me. The furniture in the living room is placed differently. I see her sitting on the sofa, watching TV and knitting. I ask her "Am I really here, walking around in real life or am I dreaming?" and she answers with "You're really here". Gurrrl, lying into my face. (I actually kind of expected that answer, she is a bit pessimistic about lucid dreaming)
I look out of the window, it's dark outside, and check the temperature. I can't see the thermostat, because of this weird reindeer sticker on the window. I ask mom what's that all about and she shrugs.
As I'm heading to the kitchen, I walk past the open door to the parents' bedroom. In one corner, there is a giant Christmas tree, it lights up the whole room. There are also a lot of full coke bottles all over the place. (O__o)
I'm now in the kitchen, the furniture here is placed weirdly as well, I speak a bit louder when I ask mom if she'd like some coffee. I get a positive answer and instead of water, I put coke in the coffee machine. I turn it on and go to my room. [/COLOR]

[I'm not sure if I can call this a dream, I lost my sight and I don't know if this is still the dream or what I imagined to happen next (while already awake)]

[COLOR="#2e8b57"]So, in my room I teleported myself to some small island with nobody else but me. I was sitting on the hot sand, trying to get my vision back by playing with the sand. Then I dived into the sea, the temperature was cool. I'm not sure if it was day or night...>.>[/COLOR]

I became aware that I am having sleep paralysis.
I was excited. I really wanted to get a lucid dream.
It felt like my kidneys were hurting, but I ignored it.

I saw my room, so I thought, "I better close my eyes, I don't want to ruin the sleep paralysis".

I started having visions of my room again. I was confident I wasn't seeing through my real eyes, but I wanted to make 100% sure, so I closed my "imaginary" eyes.

I was starting to have a pretty clear vision of the room, but I could not move my body.
I was thinking "If I cannot move my body, I can just float out of it!".

I started floating in the air.
I floated from my room to the corridor.
From there I floated to my brother's room.
There, I noticed I have arms and legs.
I was a weird "abomination". A ghost that could grow various body parts.

I floated out of my brother's room, into the open.

I was floating towards our neighbours' territory.
It was kind of like our neighbour's garden, but it had a large stone wall behind it, and a forest further behind.

I saw some cute birds on the stone wall, so I floated up to / climbed it.

There was a cute crow-like bird. It was emitting very cute sounds.
It was so cute, I started petting it.
After a while, I noticed some more birds further up the wall.
I wanted to get to them.
By around this time, I had a full body, so I had to climb the wall.

Those other birds flew away, but I saw a parrot in a cage on the top of the wall.

I climbed further up, and I saw that dogs were guarding that parrot.

I climbed up to the top, and one of the dogs attacked me.
It was storming towards me, and I was like "That's too bad but you can't hurt me in a dream".
He bit my arm, but it didn't hurt at all. I threw the dog down from the top by flinging my arm it was chewing on.

The parrot's cage was on top of some wooden pole. It had a ladder leading up to it.
I climbed up the ladder, and opened the cage.

The parrot was really scared, it wanted to escape.
It seemed to "slip" out between the bars of the cage, and flew away.
This is when I lost lucidity.
The parrot came back eventually, but I engaged in some senseless conversation with it.
I woke up soon after.

Earliest moment I can recall is riding in a car down the highway then we came to an intersection and The dream took a quick change as I became a driver behind the car I was just in, yet I was able to look ahead and view the car's cockpit while still mantaining normal view, it was strange. We drove to a local school in the area, which I suddenly appeared in It was entirely dark as I walked down the halls looking into the black abysses that were the doors. I walked down farther finding a lit room while i called the office. I then walked out of the office and appeared farther away, however still in the same area at a strip mall. I walked down the road and saw some girls from school. we all started talking at the corner where other DCs had mysteriously joined us. I then became lucid and looked around to take in my surroundings my dream quickly begun to destabilize. I rubbed my hands together, it helped however it was still destabilizing; I then focused on a new dream-scene trying to at least salvage my lucidity realizing that the dream had faded and I was in the "Void" between dreams. Spinning around to try to create a new dream-scene (Looking back I need focus more on the SCENE itself and not the name of it..) unfortunetly I don't recall anything after this.

I've been flooding the posts. I'm new to the dream journal, so I didn't realize it would do that. Sorry. Here's a collection of relatively short dreams.


10-12-11 5:32 AM
I had a dream about a pedophile priest that was flipping books over whether ot not to rape little kids. (I think I meant like flipping coins, just with books) Also, KH was teaching me how to take down towers in LoL. She ran past two turrets that were almost dead and killed them both.


10-13-11 8:48 AM
I had a dream that I had a class outside and BAM always followed me when I walked to it. There was another important element, but I forgot because I waited too long. I remember there was gross liquid that I had to walk around. Whenever I went outside I would start climbing the door like a ladder.

10-15-11
I just dreamt that i was at wash u. The admissions person was excited about something because he'd been waiting for the moment for seven years. This was related to ocarina.

I had a dream that my dad stole money from a bus. Then obama was trying to figure out if there was information on a circuit board. Then I put all my stuff in a pedal plane but realize it's not mine so I take all my stuff out. But first I see other people in there and I think theyre trying to steal my stuff. So I count my money and it's all there. I remember the money looked real, even though it has text on it. Maybe I just looked at the president on it. The guy marveled at my Zelda wristband and wallet. I bumped the plane into one of obama's planes. I had my computer with me on the bus and a grey bag.

Then GM and GN (two chicks I know) wanted to know what they had to do to teach the lesson on the day I was gone. They caught me looking at their boobs. Something about analyzing kh2. I remember looking at a paper with questions on it. Thats weird because I could read thr questions (I thought it was weird because I expected not to be able to read text in dreams.). Then I was supposed to read quiz bowl questions to either GM or AA but I fell asleep doing it. Then there was a paper talking about how the quiz bowl tournament was canceled.

I also dreamt that I went to new Hampshire and rode the reindeer roller coaster at santas village.

I also dreamt that we used to have another dog named cookie crumb that died.

10-17-11
I had a dream that I was supposed to create an AI in LoL.

I had a dream that I was trapped inside a cave and I learned a Spanish word starting with c containing an ll. I don't remember why I was there. (pretty sure it was cullir which isn't a word)

I think I did a reality check and became lucid but I don't think it lasted very long. I remember looking at my hands. At the end of my dream I remember my physics teacher saying my country tis of thee.

I also had a dream about an Indian (like from India) funeral. They called me up to the front to say something, but I didn't know the person. They told me I had to use my phone outside of the building, and I couldn't being my coat into the room. I was also at GK's house I think but it didn't look like it at all. I met this Indian kid, but he looked white. I tried to ask him what I was supposed to do. I didn't want to sit between him and CJ.

10-19-11 5:36
I had a dream that I had dead spiders in my underwear. Also, I was walking around the hallways during lunch for some reason and CHN was in multiple places at once. I knew in the dream that it didn't make sense. Something about mountain dew.

(Forgot date)
I dreamt I was part of an awesome gang.

(Forgot date)
I had a dream that I was eating something at my school with chopsticks and then a waiter came and gave me more. It was supposed to be jv quiz bowl or something. SS was sitting next to this brown guy, but he was ignoring her and talking to his friend.

10-25-11
I had a dream that I was part of a movie where people are trapped in a house. It must have been like a game because I remember looking at everything through minimap. I became somewhat lucid at one point, because I remember thinking "I'll watch myself escape from the house." I also started rubbing something in the room so I wouldn't wake up. I climbed out the window. Peoples cars were stacked up somehow. I remember while I was escaping, i questioned the physics of it. This may have been while I was lucid. I escaped from the house at least three times. The first time I didn't know how to escape, so I went through the wrong door and something grabbed me and flew around with me. There was a cougar hitting on me. There were tables floating in the air and she was sitting at one. The last time I tried escaping, I heard someone yelling at some creature who I guess was supposed to be a slave for sucking at their job, and then grinding them in a meat grinder like thing. I was on the bottom level so I just ran to my car and drove away. Then I got killed like it was runescape and LoL combined. Two people were attacking me and I was trying to back up and eat at the same time so I wouldn't die. It didn't work.

10-26-11
I had a dream I argued constitution with an annoyingly nationalistic teacher. When I asked why she was stealing a student's phone to read it's messages she said it was bcause "here we enforce the law."'Then she started making bullshit points. I also dreamt that AA kept pausing quiz bowl questions. For some reason she was stripping. She had really saggy boobs.

Something about touching pillars and young goodman brown.

I also remember I made a plaster cast of MO's face. I distinctly remember feeling and inside of the mouth and it was wet, even though in the dream the cast was old. I remember making out with it. I was planning on putting my dick in it but then something happened and I needed to make a new one. I went to a store to have that happen. When I went to pay, there wasn't enough in my wallet, so I freaked out, decided to be an adult, and looked at the loose bills in my pocket. I had a 100 to buy the new one.

I think this next part was part of the same dream. I thought of it while I was in the shower. I remember reading CHN's diary. I don't remember what it said. I might have been CHN. I remember that CYN's diary was in the library for some reason and I was going to check it out. CHN's dad was there. The library was in a building that had been my parents' church earlier in my dream. I checked out a bunch of books, but I remember putting CYN's diary inside another book so people wouldn't see it. I don't remember why.

There was also something about NC (I think it was him, I'm not sure) driving like 110 on a city road.

10-29
I had a dream that KH was asking me questions about GTS's party. She then apparently looked on facebook and said I wasn't invited.

I also dreamt that we were driving around on the highway going somewhere important. I got a ticket from a cop because I was driving in the passing lane. It definitely had text on it. It definitely stayed the same as I looked across it. Then there was a bridge that was broken the first time I was going to the place, but it was fixed when I was going back. I also remember it was really scary driving. Just like when I was driving home from LC's house. I couldn't drive in a straight line.

10-29
I was at a luncheon and my drama teacher was extending the due date for something until Thursday.

The Jew in family guy was licking the zitty back of his girlfriends neck. He also made zit cookies and made me/Peter eat them. (WTF)

11-3
I was on a psych field trip and I was supposed to give an oral presentation about a star called primer. Then somehow I was playing LoL and CHN was my champion. Then I was stressing about my oral and I was thinking "I should probably do a reality check" because all the languages in my phone were fucked up (I have four keyboards installed, but I was seeing languages I hadn't downloaded like Cherokee and Lao). But I decided not to because I was in too much of a hurry.

11-5
I dreamt about a person making a staircase lower into death in a control box for a furnace. Then I dreampt about how weight is evenly distributed on Both sides of Ragen and i remember looking qr halls hanging down from them. (...) The person who made the staircase was an idiot. I also dreamt that señor had a LoL team and he was recording my playing.

11-6
I dreamed that I had a boner because I needed to pee. I also remember taking a walk because I didn't wanna get fat.

11-7
I had a dream that my sister's cat lost KK's purse and was looking for it. KK wasnt mad.
I had more dreams during one minute sleeps. I was gonna teach HS (a really hot girl I know) to love sex through some linear equation. Then CHN was wheelchairless on top of a building in the snow, making a video for something.
I also dreamt while I was awake that by lying there in bed I was metaphorically playing support sona. It doesn't make sense to me now.

11-8
I dreamt that I was playing support with Korean or something weird like that.

I had a dream that my school was acting out revelation (as in the book). A guy tried to get MC to do something based on the fact that he had a white name (even though he's Asian). The security guards were at the doors. I beat the shit out of KH for dome reason.

I do remember this. It was in some huge house. I was part of it. People were like actually experiencing the shit. I saw a person lying to my left and another in leaves or something in an alcove. The security guards were preventing people from leaving. They were in a hallway that looked like where I come in when I park in senior parking lot. I also remember coming down some stairs.

11-13
I dream that my old spanish teacher was picking point valueenrin. ((maybe that was supposed to say values, but nothing really makes sense).

HS was straddling me. I had a boner. We were talking about this other time that she straddled me. I remember thinking I didn't have a boner then and how I was pmsing. (I'm a guy, but by that I meant that I had been really horny all the time for the past few days).

11-15
I dreamt that I was part of some army. We might have been fighting against lions. I remember I thought what the lions were doing was good. Then when I woke up it was like I was two people and I thought we were gonna get out of bed to study revelation. The lions breathed a purple fog that made us sleep. Then there were hillers everywhere, like moles, and they were making a grid of holes.

So I dreamt that I was jacking off and that everything I thought of would show up in the same circle and create like a mutant image. I put GC soccer and s little girl in it. It was weird. I Aldo demented e (I must have fallen asleep again)

11-17
DM was telling me about how KH was really white while KH thought he was saying he looked her (I must have lost my train of thought here) my philosophy class went somewhere. On the last day the teacher paid us. He was wearing a bunch or nice shirtd ar once for us to have (as in he was simultaneously wearing like 15 polo shirts and he took them off for us to have). MS stomach bumped him. BK brought his own red shirt with brass buttons. Then I dreamt that runescape came out with a rabbit item and I wanted to hop over walls and do illegal stuff. Then I dreamt about a soap commercial that blamed I think a kid going to prison on the abundance of technology. I screamed "I hate hippies!" KK had the soap and I was in her apartment.

11-19
I dreamt that I was holding hands with DV during a show at my school. Also, some little Asian sibling of one of my friends somehow saw my scars (I used to cut) and asked me about it. I said it was from a biking accident.

I also gypped Spanish and went to hang out in my chem room. Senor was pissed at me.

11-20
I dreamt that I was about to prepare for my uchicago essay. I was in KK's car. DV2 (DV's little sister) and VT3 (VT's little sister; you'll meet VT1 and 2 later) were walking outside. I got out of the car in the middle of the road. I ran in front of it while it was still moving so she got a ticket. Alao someone from quiz bowl made an atomic bomb.

11-24
I had a dream that I was trying to access a machine by Typing in a six digit number. Then I was driving and I flipped my car by going though a hump. Then I was thinking about how I couldn kick people out of the auditorium to make out with VT2.

11-27
I dreamt that I was somehow working with a Mexican from YouTube.

12-8
There were these two girls feeling me up but I was awkward about it so they stopped.

12-13
First I was watching an MLP movie by myself in a theatre. It was bad. I was rocking back and forth in my chair and I felt bad because the people in front of me left. Then KH showed up. I told her I was leaving because it was about to become a judgment zone. So I left KH and exited the theatre. I remember CHN was probably there because I was thinking "what a judgmental bitch." Then Houdini (a nickname for a kid I know) and a drama kid with really straight sexy hair were playing a game called bugle. I asked them for RR and DM2 were and they pointed. DM2 was on the phone. Then Houdini turned into DM2 and asked me If I wanted to play bugle. Then a dragon spit out a conveyer belt and robots came out in it for some court case. The dragon started playing tetris and then used the blocks to form words. It brought out LoL champion like things and they were all found guilty. Then the dragon ran out of conveyer belt. The words on tetris said "play again?" then it was over.

12-13
I had a scary dream. I dont remember the premises but there were a bunch of little kids at my school for some reason and people were beating them up in a group as some sort of disciplinary action. Everyone thought it was justified. The ones I remember hearing about beating kids were DV3 WH and MC. My English teacher said that DV3 beating the kids was a beautiful thing. Some kid's mother had died. I don't remember how or if that was part of the same plot or not. But basically I was taking pictures of stuff like people's bruises and writing down what people involved said and everyone like my drama and psych teacher mad at me. My psych teacher said that there was a certain "expectancy" which I corrected to "expectation" for me to follow. I was taking pictures and she did one of her things where she tries to say why it's philosophically wrong. I just looked at her and said oops really sarcastically. Then my drama teacher said that like 53 or something people had vomited in response to an email I sent about it. There was a little boy that I talked to who appeared not to care until I mentioned his dead mother. There was also part of it when I was in a psych ward trying to escape with someone who may or may not have been a legitimate patient.

1-20-12 12:19 AM
I dreamt that people were watching pulp fiction as an example of a bad movie. Except it started with a redneck officer. He asked a question and the person said something that sounded like "si, yes" even though it was in English. The people watching were the people from community. Then I fell asleep on the way to school and I needed to call my mom for a jumpstart.

2-3-12
I dreamt that I was totally hitting on KS and she was going for it completely. Like I was hugging her and grabbing her hands while I was talking to her and she loved it. Also I dreamt that there was footage of a train accident in some place in Singapore called 심꾼심. (not a real place; I checked)

2-3-11
I dreamt that there was some kind of game where you had to be able to visualize three dimensional things to keep them in order. If you couldn't visualize them then they would start getting out of order. I was riding on a wagon that was fast and bumpy trying to keep a set of cubes from falling. I was with someone. This person went into a tangent that I could see about how they were better than me in which they slowed themself flying through space keeping track of a bunch of crazy shit. Also this game was similar to LoL. There was some game I played where I was surprised with everyone's thorough knowledge of the champs. Also there was part where I somehow compared a WPA handshake to sex and whoever was with me told a conservative chick. Then I was talking to TM about turning off the lights to make people shut up. I had something about las luces written on a piece of paper. (I don't understand this)

2-4
I dreamt that MC was talking about LoL in real life and like placing a ward at someone's house and just waiting there to kill them or something like that. Then someone was drawing the graphics for some kids' show and that became the dream. There was a clown who needed something so he got some mother to do "hollering" for him. Then there were stop signs everywhere. Also, people were somehow reborn a lot. Like this one chick got divorced and people still knew her but they introduced themselves. Also this guy said that a chick was married to a guy who died and now she's marries to a guy with the same name. I wanted to comment on how tragic that was even though I knew it wasn't but he explained the details of rebirth too fast for me to do that. (Idk if this makes sense. I think people couldn't die. So when the chick's husband died, and she remarried, she married the reincarnation of the guy who died. That doesn't add any meaning; that's just what I was trying to say when I wrote this down.)

2-12-2012 12:28 AM
I dreamt that KP was buying ringtones for 99 cents each. There was this hallway/vent where I either thought about or actual did take her and just start making out with her. Also, something about the software on the admin's computer at school and being able to fuck stuff up. I plugged something into the computer to provide data and it got knocked loose once. When I was coming back from KP, I did the animorphs think as a cockroach, except something was chasing me. I kept slowing down every time I tried to fly.

I had a dream about a game where you had to be Link (from Zelda) and do something to prevents this guy from blowing up the world. It was action adventure.

2-27
I dreamt that it was graduation and DV and I were hugging and crying and lying in the snow.

4-13
I dreamt that I saw GS and CYN walking down the street where I used to live. I said something about it to myself, and then I was like "oh shit the parents heard that. This is gonna be awkward." (because they were really awkward about it when she died). I knew that what I saw wasn't real but I didn't reality check. I looked specifically at her legs walking and thought "this isn't possible."

I dreamt that there was a guy who made himself a fish taco. He was gonna propose with it and it was gonna be his company's next product, but he ate it instead. The setting was in the basement where I slept.

CHN posted a Facebook status That said that she was pissed at my math teacher for saying something about her "little accident." she also said that due to "stem" issues (I meant spine) she felt brutal pain in her legs. Also I had a Lego thing where I had white blocks and a yellow cross. RC was messing with it. It's purpose was to throw a ball at it and try to knock down the cross. Then I played a gba game where the people shared the device. There were too many buttons. It was a race to the finish. Then there were guys who talked to me like i was in their gang. Also I was trying to find a picture of CYN on fb but all of the pictures looked wrong.

5-6-12
I dreamt that I was at VT's house. Her parents were Like ghetto and abusive. I had stolen 300 bucks from my old math teacher's desk that somehow belonged to PC. I was trying to gtfo with the money. But VT's mom was being insane. She wanted to be treated like a queen. She would kick me/VT at the same time for not
Using royal terminology. So I locked myself in BK's car to avoid her mother. But the money was inside the house. And I hadto get it. Another part, KH wanted to talk to me about why we wereent good friends. I lied and avoided it.

5-8-12
I dreamt that I was at a chess tournament playing against ZB. I was Losing slightly. I gave him the bishop pair. Then the fat dude who thinks he's a tournament director but actually doesn't know shit made us adjourn, but there was no envelope. This little kid that took ZB's place (as in my opponent switched identities in the dream) kept trying to reset the board. I kept stopping him and trying to take a picture (of the board, so we could finish later). Then I saw the CoD commercial with drones. It turned into a Game. One of the main characters was hidden at t pain's house. Then it was a combination of zelda and star wars. There were normally red and green dots in the middle of the screen but a yellow one was added. It represented the dark side. Ingame I asked this chick about my parents. They were elements, and they were the most beautiful people she'd ever seen. Then I was about to face an evil guy. I kept hearing D C B flat D C B flat D C B flat G. In like a synth tone.

5-10
I was at my school in the hallway. According to AW, I couldn't just walk through the hallway without a pass because it was ranked season (in LoL) and people would kill me. I was with KL AW and some emo kid. AW had a really nice jacket. Emo kid told me to own hoodies. Like own the look. Then I was at some house with CJE (my ex) and some other chick that apparently was Also my ex. There was a ghost upstairs. The interior looked like my house. The ghost told me that she would see me again when I died because I'd escaped her. Then the kid was getting abused by her but then he started talking shit to her an she got scared. It involved pieces of gum. Then my dad was showing me porn. It was awkward so I told him to stop. I was also eating skittles in the car at one point and they kept falling on the floor. Then I was at some river cause someone was dead. It might have been CYN.

5-15
I dreamt that I was at MS's house to work on an assignment. KH was there but she was the only one working. A trojan commercial came on and it turned info a porno where I had sex with one of the chicks whose husband was ignoring her. MS did too. At the end we ate snow to get rid of the taste of semen (...). I saw CYN's Name in the snow But it said something else when i looked again. Afterward MC asked why i wasn't updating chrome. I said I thought it would be chrome chrome since firefox became firefox chrome (made sense in the dream). Bill had done something worthy of calling cops but idk. (I don't know anyone named Bill.)

Also I finally started working at a place where I almost got a job but it went bankrupt. I went there twice and I had to wear nice shirts. I couldnt find the dishwasher and it felt like everything around me was moving really fast and I couldn't do anything.

5-16
I was studying for art history. I was the homework before the test. Then I "woke up" and thought i missed it.

I was in a hospital. Pierce (from Community) was suspicious of doctors lying to him about his suspicious sleep behavior. I dont think they were. I think whoever the doctors were working with was preparing attack cause we were getting ready for battle and pierce was scared.

I was running up a hill past a parking lot after pierce and a doctor that looked like Castle stopped me.

Then threw was a parking lot that this guy was trying to sell titles to people. This is where pierce's doctors parked. At one point a bus/angry lolcat went through it. (WTF)

Then horatio was in my dream. He was saying something involving battle and he somehow made reference to the oath of the horatii (the painting by David). He had a sword and there were two on the ground. Then I said "alas poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio" and he said "I'm not zac efron" implying zac efron played that part. Then he said something about a mountain referring to it as "it, " calling it beautiful. I told him the word "it" didn't do the mountain justice. Then he and a Ginger That took the role of the objector and protagonist started saying "it" back and forth in Brit accents using glottal stops instead of t's. Then Horatio said "why don't I just say 'you.'" and Ginger smiled and I remember saying something to my dog about it like we were watching a movie (I always comment to my dog during movies.).

Then there was a game where you stood in a slight bowl and picked up an earthbending disk and then had to get out. I think it was like tag. Idk.

Then someone said something bad about someone of a higher status implying they were "htp" which meant handicapped. Shit went down I think.

5-17
There was a house where you had to get through an obstacle course and then jump on the floor and back up through a door. Then I was in it with some sub as part of a class and there was a spider. I freaked out. I ran outside and BH offered to have sex with me. I said yes and then she said she was kidding and I said something about GS (her boyfriend). Then there was a programming class where someone was getting pissed at me for eating cookies.

5-18
I was the lead singer in a band at my school. VT was my guitarrist and DM was my drummer. I didn't know any of the songs. I wanted to do hot for teacher. Then there was something related to A Light Sleep (a movie I had watched the night before).

5-23
I dreamt that I was late for my English IB test. Also CHN did something but I waited too long to write this dream down.

5-24
KK and I had to read a script for a baptism. First we had to build a set like for a show, and it appeared to be in my room. There was a CD that we couldn't elet get scratched but KK kept scratching it. Also I broke something
There was this huge ass game to Get to the room And part ofi t required Me to answer questions quiz bowl style. I was too awake to speak for one of the questions so I mouthed it. It worked. Also after preparing for the baptism I went to sit down next to RK who turned into NM. She was being obnoxious so I left. I then went to the balcony and I waited next to a place where mom kept meds and where little kids were storing little pieces of gold for refining. Then when I went onstage I was wearing a retainer and there was a piece of food I couldn't swallow so couldn't say the words. I drank some water and couldn't find the page. Then the text was different from what I needed.

I dreamt that KK kelt trying to get more work at the place that she works for more money. Also something to do with VT3. We saw CG in a bikini and I asked if VT3 knew her. Then CV was driving my car around and she drove over a curb. Then We ended up at my house and I gave her one cent for something cause she said she didn't need Money. She somehow saved mt life. I was writing down my dream in the dream while I was driving. I wrote that CV saved me and I only gave her one cent. Aldo people kept giving me money for no reason. Then I kinda woke up and tried to become lucid but I was awaKe cause my reality checks failed and I realized the implications but i could feel my body in bed. I tried spinning but it didn't work. Then there were these four people going into some cave. One of them was a German foreigner. He had. Jewfro and sideburns. While he was going into the cave a white furry old guy kept stroking his hair. When he finally looked up, the thing climbed the tree it was in. Then LotR nerds said 네, hobbit, a waldorf, which was supposed to be the word for a hobbit's father. Then a dog that looked like GK's dog came down and it was supposed to be a hobbit. Then there was an ice rink where you were supposed to show off language skills. I remember thinking "how the fuck am I supposed to do that" and then I realized that I could talk about el Greco in spanish as I skated.

May 31
I went to a chess tournament and I told GP that it was the first tournament where I didn't throw games. Then a bunch of people were being relocated to houses where tons of peope were crammed in the same buolding. ED said she was scared and I realized I wasn't because it wasn't real. Then there was a piece of art where a lady spun around on her roll axis. She had anti Protestant things written on her. Then something important happened in pokemon.

6-1
Something about my alarm that was set to wake me up to go to an amusement park and something ending in 습니다 describing it.

6-1
GK's mom wanted us to wait for GK before something at the gable (I don't know what this is supposed to say. Maybe table.) cause she's insane and GK doesn't believe that it happened. Then I was with MS at a brown people tootle party (?) and there was something to do with a religion and being able to make things smaller and smaller. I thought a toy dog was holy for not doing this but some brown person did it. Then whoever I was with wanted to go learn how to dj.

Then something about Japanese having four words per sentence. (which obviously isn't true)

6-2
I dreamt that I was moving to another school and I had to pack eberything. I had to live with another family. I was crying. There was more but I didn't write this down for some reason.

Also I got a DUI and I feel like I didn't deserve it.

Then there was a room that was really small like 1.5 ft high. It was an iron maiden album cover. I was with other people and they couldn't all fit. There were like weeds and vegetation that had overgrown a room ad that's why it was so small.

6-3
RC was having a party. I was supposed to get pizza or something. Stuff kept happening to prevent me from getting there. I couldn't find the place. I winked at NW. Then I think I had sex with someone.

6-4
I had to do a surgery on my sister's cat. I had to stab him and remove air or something. I couldn't understand the instructions online. qq was a unit of measurement. I got pissed at my dad who was also House and told him to do it himself. Something happened about this in señor's room. Then there was a Tor booth with info about Tor. There was a camera recording who looked at it. Then I was with someone and we got in a fight with some black chick who won.

I was in KK's room at the street where I used to live and gherig found my porn folder on my old computer. There was CP that I didn't download so I freaked out. Then I was driving away from somewhere and a cop stopped me in a parking lot.

Then something really mystical and complicated happened. I knew it was a dream so I reviewed it in my head. Basically KK had a bunch of power and then DV4 used ice and stuff to counter her. There was a long narrow hallway where I woke up and tried to stay asleep by looking at my hands, but I couldn't see them.

6-5
I couldn't find my shorts at my school. I had just done PE and I was in the my middle school's lockerroom, and I didn't know where my normal shorts were. I was looking everywhere. Halfway through a hallway converted into this bridge where you could fall off. I ran into CHN halfway through and I was embarrassed to be in my gym shorts. I did something where I rubbed my nose on the wall by my chem room. I looked back at CHN and she laughed. I remember thinking "I'm being cute, not sexy." I finally went to my drama room and found my shorts.

I had been in the drama room because during drama we were playing wheel of fortune. Half of the wheel was white and said lose a turn, but it never landed on that half. I pointed that out to someone. I was spinning and people kept getting excited and touching the wheel Nd messing it up. So I got pissed and I kicked the wheel over and it broke into like 20 pieces.

Then there was a professional bowler who apparently beat Amon in a match. I saw her throw the ball sideways and curve it into another lane on the other side of the room. She didn't hit pins though.

I have 3 dreams to share, happened this past week. Been having a dry-spell til recently (practicing ADA, helps a lot).

The Monastery Date: 6/2/12
I was with two females. I was female myself in this dream. It was dark outside, cloudy, mucky, generally nasty looking. The two females and myself were wearing skin tight suits (not latex or anything, something along the lines of evangelion suits.). We worked with some private company or government of unknown origins. For some reason, our mission was to find some type of artifact in the Monastery (as it looked). It was a dark building with a spire and a few colored windows. While searching through the building, we must have triggered a trap because giant stone guardians we looking to fuck our shit up. We were not equipped with any weapons, thus we split up and hid. I found a nice dark corner behind a wall of glass that had vertical white plastic blinds hanging down them. I knew one was following me and smelling for me. However, on the opposite corner of the room, another one appeared and as it turned its head around, scanning the room, I ran out the nearest door and hid under a large stone table where it was dark. To my surprise, the other two females were there, though they were very battered. We called in two medics to assist us. -End-

Plains of Clouds Date: 6/5/12
Very strange area in my dream. The sky was overcast, yet the clouds were about 10 feet off the ground (~3 meters). I witnessed a strange phenomenon, however. The underside of the clouds were a bright, golden yellow, as if the sun was shining from underneath; the sun could not be see. People had ladders leaned against the clouds and were climbing on top of them. The clouds seemed so dense, you could walk on top of it, as if they were solid.

Star Ocean Battleships Date: 6/6/12
Several others and I were on some raft, like a military raft about to board onto a ship. The ships we were about to board were huge, about twice the size of a U.S. aircraft carrier. I do not know the ship class however (freighter, carrier, frigate, battleship, etc..). The ships were in front of us, one on our left and right. The ship on our right was a silver-blue with strange sails underneath the ship, as its mode of transportation. The ship on our left was red with beige lining and seemed to float like a normal ship. I could not tell whether the ships were fighting each other, or meeting face-to-face. Both seemed to sit there, about 150 meters apart. There were little islands to the north-east of the blue ship. It had small islets that you could walk on and a rocky shallow that was about a couple inches deep that bridged the mini isles. As our raft approached, a "woman of the sea" boarded our raft. I say this because she came out of the water, randomly. No one on the raft seemed to care, and she found a seat next to me. She was naked, yet beautiful. I couldn't make her out in detail because the sky was dark, filled with bright stars. Our craft landed and the crew that was with me seemed to disappear. The woman and I walked across the islands where we passed a cabin that was filled with warm light. We did not enter the cabin, for it was not ours, and we instead walked around it onto a longer stretch of island. We proceeded to have intercourse, though I do not remember what caused this to happen. It was dark and I couldn't see where she was in terms of her position atop of me. As I grabbed my genitals so I could insert into her's, I could feel her, what I presumed to be, vagina against the back of my hand. It felt accurate in detail. Then we proceeded to do what mammals do best, in terms of production.

These dreams were semi-lucid, I could feel parts of the dream yet I had no control over them. I was not even prompted to do the reality checks because they felt natural and real, regardless of the situation. I am practicing ADA to overcome this problem.

1) WILD thinking about finding Katsuno or Atras. Pool area. Lucid. Yell out "Katsuno" to all the people. Same charged energy feeling my body as last time. Young man, brown haired? tells me that Katsuno normally doesn't usually like being outed in public. Introduces himself as KlausTech. Shake his hand. I call myself AnimusMessor149, correct myself. Say that 4 is pretty much the same as 7. He agrees with me and I ask C or K. He looks confused so i clarify that i'm looking for how he spells his name. Says it doesn't matter. Everyone in the pool area has been bound and gagged now, except myself. Klaus disappears. Turn around to find military types in navy blue uniforms. I believe they are armed with hand guns. Two police in gray outfits. I use tk to slash the military people and knock the heads of the police. Pick up a girl out of the water and carry her to solid ground. Start crying. Dead? Old theater teacher comes in (Room now looks like a living room with tv and carpet. She says she's now in mil-crime (military-crime). I giggle and say I like the word, though she seems surprised. Talks about love and how I don't use her as a contact for jobs. I counter by saying that seems exploitive. She talks about Captain Jack Harkness smoking pot.

2) WILD. Street with a bunch of friends. They race apparently to see who is my best friend. One turns around and gives up soon and the other runs on. The one who quit starts talking to me and I tell him to bug someone else. Stone buildings, market district-like street.

3) At a school somewhat like my high school. Outside alley area. Parked my car weirdly and at one end. Friends are around. I am lucid and using powers. Flight and phasing mostly. Being chased. Flight is controlled by the orientation of my head, either bolting straight up in the air, floating back down, or forward. Very serene. Dream skips and we're practicing energy work (One may have left). I see the energy as three motes of light. One's energy is compact while mine is large and unrefined. Get frustrated and stop. A friend's dad picks us up and drives us out. Gate covers an exit and I tell him he can't get past there but it open. My friend tells me I'll have to come drive my car back and get my phone in the morning. FA to me checking that my phone is nearby.

I Had A Lucid Dream Where I Was supermans son and i had the powers he had it was strange and i stopped a villian

I've been under a lot of stress after moving into the new home, so I can see why I haven't been having any good dreams lately. I finally have access to my computer after the move, so I can put in my dream from the other night. I've been having realistic non lucid dreams lately.

Dream 1:
I was at my parent's house down in the basement. My brother and his gf were there and she had made a seven layer pink cheese cake. My dad was cutting the cake and I remember I asked for a good sized piece. It was pretty tasty. I suddenly said to myself, "this is a dream." and I became lucid. I floated up the stairs and was so happy to have a lucid dream that I could feel myself drifting out of lucidity. I remember reading that I should spin in a circle and for some reason that should work and it did for a bit, but eventually i did wake up. (So I closed my eyes, relaxed and tried to have another lucid dream).

Dream 2:
I fall asleep quick and start dreaming right away...I find myself at my grandparent's house (all my grandparents have passed). In my dream at first my grandpa doesn't look like my grandpa but I know it's him. Hard to explain...anyways as I'm walking into the kitchen I again tell myself, "this is a dream." I get excited and decided to talk to my grandpa. (I had read to talk to the ones you love in your dreams and what not to get answers you are seeking blah blah blah so I thought I would try it out.) I ran up to him and gave him a hug. My grandma wasn't there. I asked him how he was doing and that I miss him. I asked him were grandma was. He said she wasn't here at the moment but he would tell her that I said hello. He smiled at me and said he was proud and said he had to go soon. So I turned around and decided to go out to the garage and think of something to do in my dream. I walked out side and it looked like my grandparent's garage and then as i walked out to the yard the street became an old fashioned location. People were riding buggies and horses around. I decided that it would be fun to ride a horse. I kept asking my dream to give me a horse but nothing happened. I saw a police officer and ran up to him and asked him if he could help me find a horse. He was friendly in my dream and so he waved down this woman riding a horse. She stopped for a second and said she couldn't give me the horse. I noticed I was getting frustrated and I was afraid it would wake me up so I gave up on riding the horse. It began raining and so I walked into a building with the policeman. He was following me around for some reason and I couldn't get him to leave. I looked out the window and I noticed that there was an ocean and it was about to storm. The skies were getting very dark and I noticed I started to feel frightened. I walked outside and asked my dream to make it sunny again. It took my several attempts to get the sun to come out but when it did it was so beautiful. I woke up...

Dream 3:
I was in my car driving home from work. Very realistic, so realistic that it took me awhile to realize if I was dreaming or not. I did become lucid because I realized again I was dreaming. However, I didn't know where I wanted to go and since I was already in the car driving, I found it hard to control the car once lucid. It was too much to handle and so I think that's what woke me up.

I see a cute DC. We play.

Too much conversation.
Some things are going to be phrased incorrectly etc, I tried to patch it up as well as I could.
Usually I use pink and brown to color code female and male DC voices, but there's 2 women this time,
so I'll use pink and green, pink being Yuya.


There's no more messing around.
Going anywhere but Haven feels dangerous.
Whenever I'm on the plane I can feel the Templars scanning for my aura.
It is inevitable that they will find me if I linger for too long.
Haven is one of the only places I feel safe. The barrier prevents them from locating my aura when I'm here.

But I cannot remain here forever.
Not only am I imprisoning myself here until I tackle the Templar issue, I'm doing the same to Yuya.
The Templars are after her as well.
In fact they're probably after everyone, the whole team from back then... back when lucids still came naturally to me.

There is only one solution.
I will fight them.
But not alone; that would be utter suicide.
I will gather the old team, the team with whom I fought the evils of this world back in the days.

I feel like a hero, about to embark on a long and difficult journey.
First I will gather a team capable of surpassing the strength of the Templars.
And then I will have to come up with a plan to beat them.
Because this is what I do. This is what I have always done.
Regardless of how much more powerful my enemy is, regardless of what it takes, I will beat them.
Because I am dragon.

"So... who will we find first?"

It is scary being in company of a serious Yuya.
I'm used to her playful and innocent self.
Not the one capable of carrying the weight of a world.
The whole atmosphere has changed.

"Silver?"
"... No. We will find Silver last. I'm not sure how to convince him to join us yet."
"Will he not want to join us?"
"I'm not sure. Back then he fought with us to pay for his sins. But he has already given back so much to this world."
"True..."
"I will convince him. You know I have my ways with words."
"Yes. If there's anyone who can motivate him it is you. You're the only one he listens to."
"So, if not Silver..."
"Shinave"
"..."
*sigh*
"You're making me meet her again huh?"
"Yes. We will meet with the goddess of ice."
"Alright then... I know where she is. I sure hope you know what you're doing."
"Probably."

I most certainly do not. Why is Yuya somewhat reluctant to meet with her again?
Did we part on bad terms?
Meh, it will come to me eventually.
These memories have a habit of popping up whenever I need them lately.

Yuya opens a rather odd looking portal and it seems to take her quite a considerable amount of energy to do so.
Right... we'll mask our auras. It should buy us enough time for a meeting and to get back before the Templars find us.
We hop through the portal and end in a rather odd looking place.


It's an old temple of sorts. Parts of it are covered with rather beautiful ice crystals, but most of them are broken.
Right. The goddess of ice. Or rather the person who used to be the goddess of ice.
Back then two gods fought together with us.
The goddess of ice: Shinave; and the god of fire: Ifrit
Yeah... there was 6 of us I think.
The 3 gods Shinave, Ifrit, Yuya, and Silver, Selene and myself.
I will reunite all of us... somehow...

We walk through the old temple, searching for Shinave.
I have a feeling that she's here somewhere, even though I cannot sense any aura besides Yuyas and my own at all.
I can feel the Templars scanning the entire plane though.
Their searching pattern reminds me of that of a computer rather than that of a sentient being.
They are perfectly coordinated.
But it will take them hours to track me down with my aura masked.

"You have some guts to show up here after what you've done."
"Indeed..."

The voice coming from behind caught me by surprise, but I'm not showing that I was off guard.
I turn around slowly and full of confidence.
Shinave.


Her eyes look young, but she's clearly older than Yuya or myself.
She has long white hair, deep blue eyes, very similar to Yuya's, and a rather pale skin.
A wise woman, once one of the most well known gods.
But now she lives in a seemingly abandoned temple.
And somehow I get the feeling that it is my fault.

"How are you?"

She answers me with a small hand gesture that's not really saying much.
Is she mad at me? Is she mad at us?
I feel that she is in some way, yet it also feels like the complete opposite.

"And how are you... Yuya?"
"I'm alright... mother."

mo... Mo... I... wait what?
Nonono.
Oh shit.
Fuck my life.
Goddess of ice, goddess of water... yeah. Am I fucking retarded? How did I not remember that.
And I have... with Yuya... oh my god...
Yeah, I might be screwed.

"You haven't talked to me in a long time."
"I have not. Not after you suggested that I shouldn't try to bring Hyu back."
"It was a bad idea."
"Yet here I am."
"Yet here you are."
"I guess I should be impressed that you managed to find your way back after what happened."
"I should also kill you for what you have done."

She approaches me without changing her facial expression.
I'm at a complete loss. I can't tell if she's serious.
Well. She is. But there's something more. Something she isn't telling.
She stands right in front of me and stares into my eyes.
I don't blink.

She hugs me tightly.
What?

"I hate you Hyu. I hate you so much."

She starts crying and grabs more tightly onto me.
I'm getting mixed signals here.
But somehow I understand. She wants to hate me, but she can't. She cannot help but love me for whom I am.
She looks deeply into my eyes again.

"You've sent my daughter towards certain death you know."
"Stop! It's too early."
"No."
"Yes it is! It is too early for him to remember!"
"Maybe. But there's no choice. He must remember."
"And then what? What if he does remember?"
"What if he realizes that he has cheated? Then what? What if he dies if he remembers that?"
"If he abides by the rules then yes, he will die."

... yeah.
I don't like everything I'm hearing, but I do want to know.
And I am so close. I can remember parts on my own. The puzzle is fitting itself together as we speak.
A tiny nudge in the right direction and I'll remember everything.
I look at Yuya and say reassuringly:

"Am I the type who abides by the rules?"

She can't help but smile for an instant, but then quickly puts on a serious face again.

"It's too soon."
"Yes. And bringing him back is impossible, yet here he stands. And yet here you stand."
"..."

I'm beginning to remember on my own.
Because I need to remember.
Because now is the time to remember, even though Yuya suggests otherwise.

"We all fought together. We fought many evils. But there was one we simply could not beat."
"... the Templars."
"13 of them there were, and only 6 of us, but that was not the issue."
"The issue was that one of them was a true immortal, and the 12 others had their lives linked to him."
"All 12 of them were unkillable as long as the 13th was alive. And he had perfected the art of combat."
"He was supposedly unbeatable. And even if he would be killed, due to his immortality he would just resurrect."
"Yes..."
"So I came up with a plan."

"You did come up with a plan."
"You always did, regardless of how hopeless the situation was."
"But this plan I did not like."
"This plan I did not like."
"But it was yours."
"It was mine."
"I didn't choose it because it was a good plan, I chose it because it was the only plan."
"Indeed..."

... what a horrible plan it was.
I have trouble saying the words, but they must be said.

"... Yuya would give her life to allow Silver to cast the ultimate spell."
"I would hold the Templar in place."
"And Silver would kill him with this spell, and the both of us in the process."

...

"This would send the Templars soul to hell. Because that's where immortals go."
"But immortality means you only have to spend a single minute, and then you are reborn."
"And I have the phoenix wings. I can move through the realms. I can go to hell once I am dead."
"Even after dying, my soul should have an afterglow of energy, enough to go there and challenge him."
"One minute to do the impossible. One minute to kill the soul of the only one who ever perfected the art of combat."
"And all of that without any energy left."
"But if I would kill his soul, he would truly die. You cannot be reborn without a soul."

"The plan was ludicrous. All of you would die for certain, for a glimpse of a chance to do the impossible."
"But it would cripple the Templars for years."
"It would... And it has."
"But things did not turn out according to your plan."

"Fortunately they did not. If they did we would be dead."
"So how did you kill him? And how is my daughter still alive. And how are you?"

...

"How I won the fight in hell... I truly do not know."
"I do not believe in miracles. But if they do exist, then this was one."
"We were joined in hell by our swords, and fought for a full minute without any energy."
"A true old-fashioned sword fight."
"I didn't stand a chance of course. He had figured out the perfect technique."
"But for some reason beyond me, as we danced in the fires of hell with our swords clashing..."
"..."
"I stabbed him in his chest."
"He never made a mistake, there was never any opening. I never figured out the perfect technique."
"Yet it happened. Neither one of us did understand. And I released the last bit of energy I had left in me into my blade..."
"And his soul evaporated. He died the true death."

"And then...?"
"And then I died."

...

"But how?"
"If you die you have to pay the price. Unless you are immortal you have to pay your soul."
"That is what dying is."
"But I never had a chance to give my soul."

Shinave's expression changes. She understands.

"The dragon within me. The dragon soul I shared my body with."
"He gave his soul before I had a chance to give mine."
"And with the price paid, I was no longer bound to the world of the dead... so I left... so I came back."
"And then I approached Yuya's lifeless body. And I summoned the true phoenix wings, and I brought back her soul from the dead and resurrected her."

"So you did use your one resurrection."

She sighs.

"So not only is the dragon soul, the one who taught you the ways of the dragon, no longer with you; but you also sacrificed your near infinite source of energy. The phoenix catalyst."
"That is the price the phoenix must pay to perform a resurrection, and the reason why he can perform only one."
"But these were the reasons why you were so strong. The dragon soul and the phoenix catalyst. And now you have none of them."
"A small price to pay."
"A truly huge price to pay."
"Perhaps, but the choice was an obvious one."
"It was not. You could have used the catalyst to destroy the remaining templars."
"And let Yuya be dead?"
"..."
"It would have been the logical choice."

"Pff... logic. Yes, I might have noble goals, some people may even have called me a hero."
"But I truly am a fool and you know it. I do not regret having made that choice."
"And I love you for having made that choice. You saved my daughter."

"We all paid a huge price back then. Selene died. Silver managed to get back for some reason which is beyond me."
"The council of gods was destroyed."
"But the Templar died. And now they are mortal."
"And they are after you."

I shrug.

"And I am after them."
"You're mad."
"I am Hyu."

Yuya has been awfully silent.

"I understand how you were able to come back and revive me."
"Your soul is taken when you die. But for you, 'a' soul was taken, but not yours."
"But still. After that you should never have been able to come back to this world."
"You are supposed to be dead."
"You have tried quite intensely to bring me back though. Surely you must have believed that it would work."
"Maybe... but what now that you know that you are supposed to be dead?"
"Nothing."

"But... what if death comes for you."
"There is only one thing you do if death comes for you."
"... give up... ?"

I give her a disapproving stare and raise my voice.

"You look death straight into its eyes and you say: 'not today'"

Shinave smiles for the first time.

"It is good to know that you are still Hyu. It is good to know that you are still the fool I remember."
"Can he do that... just like that?"
"How would I know? Do I know anyone who has tricked death itself?"
"What I do know is that he is Hyu."
"He is..."

Shinave inspects me from top to bottom.

"You have aged."
"You are weak."
"And you come to me now, which means..."
"I will ask you the impossible."
"After all that has happened, you really dare ask me?"
"Yes."
"And what do you suggest we do if I agree?"
"We will be a dead man walking and 2 gods that are no longer gods up against the Templars."
"How is that going to work?"
"You're forgetting about Silver and Ifrit."
"Ifrit? You are more insane than I thought."
"But even then. That's 2 dead men walking and 3 gods that are no longer gods. My question remains."
"I will come up with a plan of course."
"Because you are Hyu."
"Because I am Hyu."

For the first time in what feels like an eternity I put on a certain smile.
It is a somewhat dark smile. A smile looking forward to a battle that seemingly cannot be won.
A smile that challenges all beliefs. A smile that says that we can do the impossible.

"Will you come with me, oh goddess, and fight with me again?"
"..."
"Of course I will."

She looks at Yuya, then at me, back at Yuya, and back at me, clearly understanding what is going on.
Then she faces me and says:

"Back in the days the gods would have killed your for this."

But she doesn't say it in a serious way. I'm not sure if she approves, but I do know that she does not mind.

"I wonder what Ifrit is going to think about this."

I turn around and start walking towards the portal and shrug.

"I'd rather not."

We laugh, even though it isn't really that funny. He's one of the very old gods. He can never know. He would indeed kill me.
I stop.

"As long as we can still laugh like this, the world isn't lost."

That puts a reassuring smile on Shinave and Yuya's face.
Ha. I still have it in me.
I am still a leader.
And I will do this.
I will end what I have started 15 years ago. I will end the tyranny that is the existence of the Templars.
I just have to figure out how.
Preferably without killing half of us in the process this time.

6-6-12 (non-lucid/lucid): I was spending a night at a distant friend’s house. I slept on the couch, and T. slept in the spare bedroom upstairs. No big event happened that night so I slept and in the morning I saw the family rushing around picking up random items. Of course I realized something was wrong so I got up and asked and someone said that there was some sort of disease going around and it was killing people and these people started coming back, etc. And then I got the bad news, my friend was taking their family and leaving me and T. behind and abruptly left and I was left sitting there. I went upstairs thinking maybe T. woke up already so we could get a head start. Nope, he was still asleep, even through all that commotion. I woke him up told him what happened and that my friend left us for dead. I went back downstairs and to the basement where I found an axe, crowbar, knife and a few other things. I took the knife and I brought the axe up to T. We left shortly after; agreeing that staying at the house wasn’t a good idea. We went outside and there were zombies everywhere, luckily they could only walk, and not very fast either. So, wanting to converse energy we walked at a leisurely pace. We definitely took the zombie apocalypse seriously. More zombies were coming our way so we started running and I knifed one or two, and I called my mother and she said she had the Escalade (a big car, not quite a van.) We kept walking and she came by and picked us up and T. had to pick his brothers up from the school. We got there and there was an attack, but the zombies were neutralized, so it was safe. We all went in and T. and I went to go see D.J. who was talking to some other people. I heard some of the teachers talking about what happened and I started to follow, but they stopped talking so I tried becoming invisible and I asked D.J. who was looking right at me, but he said I was invisible, and I realized I was dreaming, but I wanted to go along with the storyline anyway, and occasionally reminded myself I was dreaming. We all went into a room and I took charge of the situation. I was talking about battle plans and thought about doing Task of the Year stuff and said “I may go see the Titanic sink, I don’t know yet.” That got a lot of confused looks until I explained it was Task of the Year stuff, and then I saw a mirror and I went up to it and stuck my head through and I saw a dark tunnel on the other side and it was made out of the same thing as the mirror. So I completed that and I soon lost lucidity. We went to a large carpeted room and we all spent the night there. I got up in the morning and went down to the cafeteria to eat breakfast, which consisted of a cupcake, and cereal (which was mostly marshmallows and only a little bit of cereal.) Then I heard Rajin speaking and the scene switched to a town square, and Rajin was there. It was a little bit after the apocalypse and, hardly any zombies anymore and it started to rain. I ran into a store nearby got a huge umbrella and went back out and opened it. Rajin ran up and went under it with me and we both waited for the rain to stop and then I woke up