lucid

NOTE: On behalf of my completion of the 300 TOTY, I decided when I was lucid that I'd have a little break.

I find myself in Mr. Brown(DS)'s classroom(DS). We aren't doing anything. Interestingly enough, the classroom(DS) doesn't look different, and I have the right classmates(DS ). Suddenly, some girls come into the room. They have big smiles on their faces.
"Okay! We're going to have a singing competition soon!" one says. "We're splitting up the school into three teams. And you'll all sing a Green Day song!" I clench my fist and pull my elbow back and say "YES!" We are assigned groups, and the song we will sing. Soon, class is over and we go into the gym(DS). I sit down by Colten M.(DS). We begin to talk about the competition.
"Dude, I have the three songs from the competition on my calculator." Colten says. Calculator? What the fuck? I want a calculator like that! "Here's our team's song." he shows me the title, but I don't recall which Green Day song it was. "Here's the next one." The next one is 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams.'
"Oh I'd love to have that one!" I say.
"And team three's." Colten says. It's 'Basket Case.'
"Oh, now I'd REALLY love to have that one!" I say. Colten starts to play the song now. We begin to sing 'Basket Case', but since this was a dream, the lyrics were a little different. We now begin to attract others' attention. A few girls, including Daniela S. come over an listen. We now sing the lyric "I went to a whore. He said my life's a bore." The girls laugh cause of the word 'whore.'
"The really fucked up part is that the next lyric is 'He.'" I say to them. Then, it hits me. Were am I? School(DS)!!!!! I'm dreaming! Yay! Well, I just did the 300 TOTY. I think I deserve a break for such hard work. I now run down the bleachers onto the gym floor. Then, I run outside. There appears to be a deep and steep ditch. Across it, there's a really nice house. I also see Elliot M. there. I jump over the ditch and say hi.
"Dude! There's a bunch of hot chicks 'n there!" Elliot said(he's a proud redneck!).
"Then let's go in!" I reply.
"YEAH!" Elliot says. He runs around to the door and goes in. I jump up to the roof and fly through a window screen. I land right next to Elliot.
"I came I. Through the screen dude." I say.
"Nice!" Elliot says. We now proceed(be aware this whole house of chicks wasn't my plan, but I saw it, and yea)into the living room. The hot chicks are hanging out. They see us and invite us in. DAYUM! These girls are smokin' hot! They're all dressed like total sluts too. After we hang out for awhile, one of them says there're more girls upstairs. I decide to go invite them down. I check every room downstairs. No luck. I see stairs. Oh yeah, upstairs! Herp-A-Derp! I do upstairs, and I have a false awakening! Dammit! In my false awakening, I 'wake up' wasted at the bottom of the ditch by the house. I get up and walk. Wait! This is the same ditch from...I now recover my lucidity! Alright! I go back inside the house and go into the dinning room. Me and Elliot chillax with the chicks. Then, I decide to go outside, and I awake.

Goals:
300 Spartans TOTY
LPTC Bonus Task

I can't remember exactly how. But I was somewhere dark, and I noticed a dream sign. I was now lucid! Holy shit! Yes! It's now time. I have the power to do this! I now head through the dark room up to a door. Time to go to Thermopylae I open the door, and there's the legendary battle. About to begin. Not on my watch. I see the Spartans waiting anxiously on one side, and the Persians rushing down the rocky terrain. Time to give King Xerxes a bitch-slap of truth! I fly up high into the air. Time to kick some serious ass! I get into a full-body V stance. I begin to charge my ki. I'm not surrounded by a purple glowing aura, and golden lightning sparks. Time to show the Persians the meaning of true power. After this, I can turn into Godzilla and clear the road. Then I'll beat up Xerxes and have Leonidas come in for the kill. Yea! I now bend my stance sideways and cup my hands to my left side. Shit! The Persians are almost to the Spartans! Time to fire! I get back in my V stance and put both hands out.
"GALICK GUN!" I shout. Now, a very large blast of purple ki launches outand hits the Persians. I now move the Galick Gun so I can hit down more Persians. I'm quickly killing a lot of them. I might not need to go Godzilla! Now, the whole mountainside is empty of Persians. Well, there's still more around the corner. The Spartans don't even question what just happened. They now start to charge. Awesome. I fly around the corner and see more Persians. Maybe I won't need to be Godzilla. I fly up into the air a little more. I extend one arm and cup my hand. Time for a Big Bang Attack. But then, I awake. Oh well! I still did the TOTY!

I went to bed at around 10:45 using MILD
A few (dream) seconds after I enter the dream I get into the lowest phase of lucidity (My first LD ).
I am sitting on a bench. I see clones of my mother in front of myself, so I do a RC and find myself in a dream, it seems. I read that flying is hard for some people, but as I fixed one of my scopes to fly earlier, I manage to hover. Sadly, one of the clones attacked me (cause I was fearing it would) and after I fell on the ground I lost my lucidity.
The remaining time I battled the clones, thinking it's real (it was my first night of MILD, so it didn't help that much). At the end of the dream every clone dissapears and one of my old colleagues appears and tries to give me a punch. It goes through me, so I try to look at my hands to see if I am dreaming. But I wake up.
Well, I can say I acomplished one of my goals, become lucid even if it is only for some seconds.

WBTB
wake @ 4am
sleep @ 5:30(ish)
200mcg huperzine-a
8mg nicotine gum

I enter the dream knowing I am dreaming...
I have a task in mind, and also open myself to what the dreams wants to show me first.
I fly through a dimly light park at night. There are trees, and I want to fly to a tree and nestle in it. I approach a tree and fly up into the branches, it has no leaves, I realize it is rotting. There is a huge trunk-like branch falling off, and I see that wherever there are big branches, they are falling off because of letter-sized sheets of paper embedded in the trunk, keeping the branch from attaching properly to the trunk. I land on the large "trunk" and it sways and I stay as light as possible so it doesn't break off**. I pull out the sheet of paper and read it, it's fairly clear but I don't remember exactly what it says just that I understand it is a criminal rap sheet. I think, "but this isn't ME!" and I'm wondering about it, when a group of cops show up with flashlights and flashing lights.

I panicked for a moment and started to fly away, then flew down and faced them directly, choosing an open, friendly attitude and emotional tone. I don't remember exactly what we talked about, I explained myself, and they responded in a manner of, "oh, ok, no problem" and left. As they left, I was pressed in from all sides by a multitude of people. I noticed an impulse to fight them, but I let myself feel it and acknowledge it without acting on it while I sorted through appropriate responses and settled on projecting a solid field of light pink love.

Almost immediately they all dispersed and (I might have this mixed up with another part of the dream sequence) I notice one really big guy. I jumped on him and hugged him, really pleased to see him. I kissed him, thinking, "integration".

I flew back to the tree, and wrapped myself around a branch and hugged it.
There is more in between I do not remember.

I find myself standing in a dimly lit room, watching a man sitting next to a teenager who is lying on a couch. They are dark-skinned. The boy is ill and feeling bad, and the man is striking the boy with small, precise BAPS that spark in the dark. He is berated the boy for feeling bad. I didn't really want to be in on this scene, and I ask the dream, "Am I really needed here?"
"Yes" is the answer.
Ok. So I say to the man, "I notice that you are sitting there hurting him and then wondering why he feels bad and getting mad at him about it!" The scene then shifts, and the boy is lying in twin-sized bed next to me on my right, I am on his left side. The sheet over him is cream-colored, pulled up nearly to his chin, the head/footboard are a simple wood fram, similar to mission-style. The boy has now changed to someone more feminine.

I lay my hands on her belly, left of center, and run Frequency 17. She groans a little. Then I move further down her belly, it might have been the womb area, and I say to her, "This is where all of your ancestral money stuff is..." and run Frequency 27 into it. I move slightly as she groans and vomits into a bin on the side of the bed (that is a pale mustard color and looks like those ikea shoe bins that hang on the wall with 3 drawers). I had opened the bottom bin for her...she spewed and filled it up, I pulled the bin out and moved it away, then tried to make another one appear but couldn't so I opened the second one for her, anticipating more spewage. There may have been just a bit more.

I turned to face her, and she was a beautiful woman with broad features that seemed somewhat asian, she looked a lot like my friend Stepha, and her skin was light golden brown and covered with freckles. She had warm brown eyes and a kind, gentle smile. I suddenly wanted to kiss her and have sex with her, we may have kissed (if we did anything else I don't remember).

Another snippet of being in a restaurant that reminded me of a country diner. I decided to fly out through the ceiling and the first time I tried I bounced against the ceiling and fell back to the floor. I laughed and was a little embarrassed and other people saw it. I checked...ok I *did* just fly so I am dreaming...and tried again, this time a little slower and it was like flying through gel. I flew through several layers and I wondered whether I would ever find open space then I flew through one last layer that was like the dome of "the capitol building" and silver, and wa-la, open air.

I flew along and landed in garden that I thought of as "English". Three people approached me, the one in the middle had something that looked like my shower backscrubber that he started to poke me with. I gave him some very firm yet kind command NOT to do that, and the guy to my left reacted very surprised and said, "You are quite the diplomat!". We talked about I don't know what and I flew on.

Without deciding to, I found myself zooming along in outerspace, going faster and faster, realizing how easy and effortless it was and how it was further and faster than "anyone's" been before. A space shuttle flew up beside me so I paused and it stopped and several astronauts disembarked and they all streamed around me. I didn't want to let them get too close, I think they wanted to catch me so I stayed just out of their reach (they all were tethered by air lines to the shuttle.) I don't remember what happened after that, I'm pretty sure it wasn't the end of the dream...I hope I flew on!

There was more, but in the dream I decided that it was really more important to stay in and do the healing and integration stuff I was doing rather than try to wake up to remember it.

***The dream tree to me represents a family tree - and I felt like this dream was showing me that ancestral criminal acts were somehow affecting the tree and disintegrating it. I am adopted, and have had a lifelong terror of "going to jail", even though that isn't something that I was raised with or threatened with, and my bio sister has a criminal history. So, I think I'm going to check in on the tree later, maybe it was enough to just be aware and know the person in the rap sheet wasn't me.

June 23, 2011

Notes
Sleeping over in a hotel room tonight. Have been going to bed very early since coming back to the states. I haven't written any of my dreams down for awhile so I figure now's as good a time as any. At the last dream I started to become a little lucid seeing as I was waking up every five minutes to the sound of my mom's alarm clock. Recurring themes of school and crossdressing.

Entry 012
I'm in a cave, swimming in a clear underground lake. Around me I can see my old classmates swimming as well, though none of them are distinct. The teacher is a woman with dark hair pulled back into a bun and a thin, delicate face. Although I've never had a teacher who looked like her, she seems familiar. She pulls out an old photograph of her and her family and lays it on the rocky shore of the lake. "Bring me tokens, then we can move on." I don't know what she means, but I dive to the bottom of the lake and place a smooth pebble on top of the photo. My classmates bring other things they find and place them on the photo as well.

We're going somewhere now, we walk into a huge chamber with a waterfall.

----

I'm in Tokyo, and I'm Japanese. For some reason I'm dressed up like a man and wearing a police uniform. It looks like my disguise has fooled everyone. Well, everyone but one guy. In Akihabara some otaku wearing a long white coat and huge coke bottle glasses spots me and knows I can't be a man. He starts to stalk me. I don't start to run really, but I'm definitely trying to lose him. I come to a tall tower. The otaku sees a baby nearby and steals it, knowing I won't run away while he's putting the life of an infant in danger. I somehow outsmart him and retrieve the baby, ringing the doorbell of the tower and giving it back to the confused Japanese housewife inside. From there on the dream morphs into some kind of parkour chase across Tokyo, with only occasional pauses whenever I think I've lost him.

----

I'm with my friend Jane, and we're at some kind of anime convention. We're both wearing costumes that disguise us as men, but the people at the convention can tell from our faces that we're girls. We're wearing tight under-armor shirts with padded muscles and tight skinny jeans with sneakers. We look convincing. We're there for some kind of competition. We walk into a packed room and head for the makeshift stage at the front. We're in a line of other costumed groups. The audience appears to be picking its favorite groups from the line up, shouting whenever the ones they like are mentioned. Our names are called out and we flex and pose for the crowd. We get a huge response, we move on to the next round.

Next round and we're on stage with different costumes this time. Now we're wearing fluorescent pink and yellow pixie-cut wigs and matching tutus. Now we're competing against just one other group for the semi-finals. The last challenge is to dress up a girl from an audience to match us. I pick out a girl with brown hair tied up in a braid. For some reason Jane has left the stage and I have to do the makeup all by myself, even though I have no idea how. I spend the entire time allotted applying pink lipstick to the girl. Somehow, though, when she walks to the front of the stage, she looks just like us. We move to the semi-finals, but once there we lose because my design on the girl wasn't original enough. I have become somewhat lucid at this point due to an alarm clock, and I feel curious about how my makeup actually looks. I look in a mirror and look strangely old underneath the makeup. I can see wrinkles cracking the top of my upper lip and bags pulling down my eyes. It scares me.

I wake up.

Ok so I know most of you are familiar with the Cartoon Network series The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy right? Well I'll be telling the dream now. Ok here I go!

I had this dream I was in a different bedroom but it looked different. Then I saw Lord Moldy Butt from the cartoon series The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. Every time I saw him come after me I said his name and something bad would break. Here's a picture of him if you don't know what he looks like.




Then I found my self out in my old back yard. There was an above ground we had. I was standing on a tall balcony. I said Lord Moldy Butt when I was out side and the pool broke, and water fell into it. I saw my dog floating in the air and I said that's impossible. So I did a reality check "I forgot which one it was" and I got lucid for a short period of time. I tried to stabilize the lucid dream to make it last longer with rubbing your hands together technique and it worked for only a short amount of time. I tried using that lord moldy butt thing on my dog but it didn't work.

After that I woke up, Or I thought I did... I remember writing my dream down in my written dream journal and I woke up a second time and I noticed a pizza on a plate. I noticed my dog laying on the couch in my room looking at the slice of pizza so I gave him the pizza. After that I walked into the kitchen and it was sunny. I noticed a bunch of kids walking down our street. Like a hundred of them. I did the nose pinch reality check when I felt like something was off but it failed. Then I woke up for real this time. I could barely remember what happened in the dream I had. But at least I'm getting better at this stuff.

(Took me a while to post this... This dream was probably a direct result of something I do IWL on occasion: Late at night, I go outside to my car when I leave something in it. I take a moment to stand there, taking in the cool breeze in my pajamas, and imagine myself in a lucid dream, taking off from the dark street and flying…)

I find myself outside at night, near the back wall of an unknown building, on a lawn with mostly smallish trees scattered around. It's very dark, and I'm very isolated. I realize I'm just a little cold, which leads me to notice I'm wearing only pajama pants and a t-shirt, outside in the slightly breezy dark night. Then I jump up slightly above the grass and begin to spin around & around in the air, for no apparent reason. I think something along the lines of, "It probably isn't safe to be out here in the dark by myself - what if I get attacked or something?" I'm nervous now, but not in a panic. It's around this point I realize I'm dreaming (duh!).

One of my first thoughts is remembering my intention to stop and give serious thought to what it means to be lucid in a dream, and not take the experience for granted. But I end up turning my attention to the subject of flying, since I find myself lucid in a dream that features it. This is one of my primary lucid goals! So I float forward, away from the building I was just behind, and I find myself coming into the large parking lot that surrounds my work (looks pretty much like it does IWL, but more/larger trees). It’s still night, so the parking lot lights are glowing brightly.

IWL I’ve often imagined taking off from the parking lot & flying over the adjacent strip of shops in the plaza… so that’s what I do in this dream! I easily recall the way I’ve flown in many dreams throughout my life (basically I fly in a standing position, levitating my body by maintaining a consistent mental “force” - it always takes me a couple tries to pinpoint the right amount of concentration, but once I have it I’m generally good). With some effort, I rise above the parking lot, and then I clear the shopping center!!

I’M FLYING IN A LUCID DREAM!!! After passing over the shopping center I continue over the nighttime cityscape below (cities at night are so beautiful). What I’m seeing actually looks a lot nicer than my real city, but that just adds to the novelty of the dream. Then I fly over 2 tall structures with wide, round platform-like things at the top; they roughly resemble the Seattle Space Needle.

Then comes the best part: Suddenly I’m flying between the skyscrapers of New York City (an ideal vacation destination of mine, and setting of the various free-roam Spider-Man video games I enjoy)! I end up flying along the outer buildings on my right, with the black harbor far below me out to my left. The buildings are appearing in my line of sight just like they do in the games.

Suddenly I see flashes of light from a tiny island out in the distance, I guess where Ellis Island would be. It looks like fireworks, very noticeable against the dark water. I debate whether to keep flying between the skyscrapers, or to look into this unplanned spectacle. I’d love to keep flying in NYC, but I decide it would be best to investigate what my dream is surprising me with. So I fly over the dark harbor, off toward the island. As I get closer and fly lower, I realize I’m going to fall short of the rooftops on the island, so I instinctively do a web-zip (from the aforementioned Spidey games - a horizontally shot webline used to yank yourself closer to a rooftop if you’re about to miss it), except I find myself grabbing a rope instead of a web. I seem to have difficulty landing properly.

Finally I touch down on the rooftops of the island - various rooftops of slightly different heights packed so closely together that it’s like one big building. Not very high above the ground either, although all I see is the rooftop area. I’m surprised to see that the light display is no longer fireworks, but GIANT pink dice, glowing with almost neon brightness. Even the dots are lit up, in white I believe. Suddenly I feel my left hand half asleep, knowing I probably rolled over on it in bed, and I manage to ignore it. But then I think about opening my real eyes, or blinking, and I flicker myself right out of the dream by actually blinking.

22.6.2011

Fragmented Return (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID







Lucid Fragment: Death

★★☆☆☆

A battle for my life, for a friend's life, against Death itself raged on outside my house. Tall, hulking, bulging grey-flesh, a thin blob of a monster, Death wasn't your typical reaper, but that didn't matter to me. I couldn't let him take her, so I fought, blasted at the monster, darted around its attacks, tearing it down bit by bit, . .

Fragment: Chasing

★☆☆☆☆

In order to escape my prison, I chased this man through the corridor, looking from behind the glass as he ran me in circles. But I had an ace in my pocket, a special ability none of them knew about: Teleportation.

Fragment: Dragons

★★★☆☆

After decapitating their General with a butcher knife, I took to the skies, commanding my dragons against the enemy's. At first, they were just over-sized cards, but with a little imbued magic they came to life, fighting briefly before fading back into their two dimensional prison.

Lucid Non-Lucid

after a few dreams of being chased and such, i found myself in a rock shop, and i was looking at rocks, all too expensive, and some flouride in particular. i started talking to the girl at the counter, but her father (or someone) didnt want me talking to her. the dream progressed for a little, and we went up to her room to have sex. we started, but then i noticed one side of the wall was a huge window. kids were coming near and we didnt want an audience so we stopped. we tried to go somewhere else but her dad wanted me gone and was close. at the bottom of the stairs i became lucid (rapidly deteriorating from that point on). from there i figured that now that i was lucid i would finish what i started, i took her hand and led her back upstairs, i didnt care that there was a window i would just make blinds. then i quickly lost lucidity and woke up before i could get to the room.

Note: This entry marks that i am caught up, and should be accurate with the date. from now on i will post on the same day to keep track of the dates well.

Lucid Non-lucid

before i went to bed i had confidence i would have an awesome dream, and thought about the crocidile swamp as i said that. later when i was asleep, i had a few dreams, one where i was fighting some WoW type thing, and then the dream was cut short and i found myself in the crocidile swamp. i remember thinking about this and i become lucid. then i realize that when im lucid i want to have fun and always wake up by trying to have sex or something, and a fun dream is right in front of me, so i lose lucidity to enjoy it. however there are only a few crocidiles, and i fall out of the boat and find a shark there. i really shouldnt have given up on lucidity. later on i woke up.
(approx. date. 6-12-11)

See also: when trying the same MILD technique where i have confidence in a dream, i had a dream of a lightning storm, one of the 2 things i thought of, but no lucidity.

Lucid Non-lucid

i had a dream in what seemed to be the italian place in SC3 with a story like ADJL, then that ended and i had a new one. at the beggining of the dream i am in a small crowd of people at what seems to be the end of a bridge leading off to a empty city at night, it was dim with yellow streetlights everywhere. i find a cute girl and i put my arm around her, and we walk and talk and she laughs (i think she was jewish maybe, dosent matter tho since its a dc). then i realize i would never have enough confidence to put my arm around a random girl and start talking, and it wouldnt work out so well. at that point i became lucid, and we started walking. we were in a alley with brick buildings on each side and going in between chain fences, when i open a side door to one of the buildings so we can have sex somewhere. i turn on the light in there and i see a warehouse full of tables with boxes on them. i bring her over, but there are already people where i want to go. they tell me to go away, and this happens a few more times, since i soon find out the warehouse is full of people. some are really short and some look like muppets, and while i bring the girl to a darker corner i wake up. (approx. date. 6-7-11)

Lucid

woke up and went to sleep with a mantra and intention to become lucid. there may have been a short dream in between but im not sure. i find myself in my own room, however i have that same feeling of being awake. i doubt if im dreaming, but climb out of my window onto my roof like i normally do. it feels pretty real but slightly odd. on the top of the roof i decide to fly. i jump up high a few times and fall back onto the roof. about the 4th time i stay airborne, and im excited. i am under the leaves of my oak tree, and i reach up and touch the leaves, and think of how fun it would be to be a squirrel and jump through the branches. so i grabbed the branch and started to transform, but i woke up in the middle of the transition. (approx. date. 5-15-11)

Lucid Non-Lucid

i wake up and go to sleep with intentions to lucid dream and have a short mantra. when asleep i have a short dream, i dont remember much but for when i jump out of the woods onto a dirt path. after that dream ends i end up in a new, more vivid one, only lucid. i was in nanas computer room, and remembered it was a dream. i was having some trouble distinguishing it from real life though, i had some strange feeling that was making me doubt it. so just incase it was real life i excused myself from the room and walked out, and then i woke up. (approx. date. 5-1-11)

Lucid Dream (WBTB):

I knew I was dreaming, yet there was no image. I imagined myself flying and after a moment could feel the wind and motion, but still without any visuals. Finally I could see and saw that I was hovering over my backyard in LA. Beyond the yard was Lake Powell. I decided I wanted to fly over the lake and dive in and go to the bottom.

I approached the lake and started to dive down. But as I got closer I could see that the lake was very dark and murky. It freaked me out some. So as I got to the surface of the lake I stopped right before I went into the water.

Unknown transition....

I was by a pool. I wanted to try to breathe underwater. [I had done this before so I'm not sure why I wanted to try this so badly at the moment.]

I flew right over the surface and dunked my head into the water. The water was cool and wet. I didn't want to take a breath. I started having a little argument with myself. "Breathe...this is just a dream." "No, the water feels too real. It'll get in my mouth and lungs. It'll feel awful." "No, the water isn't real, your body is in bed breathing air. If you take a breath, your body will breathe air." "See--I opened my mouth a little and water came in. It might not be real, but it feels real and will make me choke if I take a big breath."

But finally I took a breath. I could feel water in my mouth, but only air came down to my lungs. I was almost surprised, but then I was relieved and took several more breaths.

Unknown transition....

I was standing in front of a mirror. I noticed that I looked like a guy. I had sandy blond hair which was slightly curly. I had nice full lips and a little stubble on my chin and cheeks. I had nice dark eyebrows and eyelashes. I was wearing a pink and white bike jersey.

I decided to take off my shirt and look at my chest. I was pretty pale, but I had nice muscles.

Then I decided that I wanted to have my girl body back, so I tried to make my breasts grow. At first nothing happened. Then finally, I grew small breasts. But I wanted bigger breast so I kept trying.

But I think I woke up or lost the dream before that happened, because that's all I remember.

Dream Lucid

I wake up and begin a WILD attempt. i let my mind wander and i am in a "half dream" it is like a blurry dream im watching from the back of my eyelids, like im not really in it. in this dream i was in Org, and i was getting in a fight with some people online. at some point i remembered that i wasnt really on my computer, but asleep. everything went dark, and things formed like in a FILD. i found myself in my upstairs bathroom. there was a dark bluish purple floaty toy in the toilet, and a version of myself with longer hair was in front of me. this reminded me i should look into a mirror in a dream so i went over to the mirror and woke up. (approx. date. 3-13-11) (final year 1 dream)