Recent DJ Posts

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Visiting the secondary location of my old extra curricular activities center. It now seems to be working as a day care for younger children. At first I am waiting at some waiting room and notice the old furniture and apparently abandoned and despised trinkets I remember seeing there as a kid. I start picking some up from the floor and under a table, stuffing them in my pockets since here no one cares to preserve these. It's like tiny china figurines and sculpted wooden pieces. Then I am welcomed inside and I get to see that this place is overcrowded with kids. The kids are sitting on the floor, I almost can't walk around, I see no toys or games, they look bored and neglected. Most are kids of color. There's 3 or 4 carers who seem overwhelmed with the kids and even a bit too agressive towards them, I feel. I am worried about what I see. I then decide I will try to sell the antique trinkets and donate the money back to them. I exit through the front door - seems like I actually entered through the back one - and even find another carer with half a dozen more kids sitting on the floor of the hallway of the building. It's heartbreaking.

I am waking up from a dream, but become lucid and try hard to hold on. Get stuck in what seems like behind a frosted glass wall. To not lose lucidity, I focus on the texture of the frosted glass, so close to my face and don't try anything else. When I feel the lucidity is more stable, I also try to feel my real body in bed. I think I may have had a lucid false awakening, because I experimented raising my real hand and touch my face with it and I swear I felt it. I even put my fingers in my mouth. At least that's exactly what it felt like, although in the dream state I was basically formless in front of the frosted glass screen. When I really woke up, I was confused if I actually managed to move my hand by commanding it from inside the lucid dream or if I imagined it, but most likely I imagined it in a cross between an LD and a FA.

I am somewhere outside, by a fairly wide and deep seeming river and what looks like an old, overgrown stone bridge. I think I am somehow above the water and under the bridge, moving forward. Now, I am either under the water or envisioning the sensation of myself under the water. It feels very real, and I seem to be on my back and drowning. I submit to it (I think it’s supposed to be like I’m laying on my back in bed and feeling the sensation of falling asleep).




I am downtown (it looks slightly different - I am on more of a grassy hillside with walking paths) and it is very crowded. The paths are all filled and everyone is walking very slowly. I get irritated and go around them, walking on the grass uphill.

I'm in this neighborhood, to me it is beautiful and there's big huge trees everywhere with autumn leaves, but I hear these people saying that it's ghetto. I ignore them, and grab this weird looking black bike that was in the gutter, my mom pulls up in her car beside me, she offers me a ride, I tell her no because I found this bike, she tells me she'll drive in front of me the whole way, I don''t know why. I keep riding my bike and this guy with big hair rides up beside me and peddles faster than me and his bike makes a noise, I take this as a challenge and peddle my bike faster and I totally pass him, but then my bike gets a flat, so my mom pulls over and coincidentally she has a spare bike tire. So she gets back in her car and continues to drive and I get back on my bike and keep riding, then my mom just drives away and she makes the street that I'm riding on covered with this black goop metallic tar sludge, it's thick and the tar is getting all in my bike tires but I'm still trying to beat the boy with the big hair, then my front tire pops and I don't notice at first but I feel my bike slowing down and it's so hard to peddle it forward and when I look down I see the front tire completely flat, So I get to the side walk and my grandma is there and she gives me a brand new sparkling tire, not like the used one that was in my moms trunk, she even helps me put it on and she pushes me so I speed up and pass the guy with the big hair. Then I get to this crowded public area with brick office buildings and my mom is standing there, I stop and realize my back tire is popped again, and my mom gives me an angry look and she is holding a five and twenty dollar bills, then the wind blows and it falls to the wet gutter and she puts her foot on it so the wind won't blow it and no one will grab it, while she waits for this transportation van to go, there are these two prissy stuck up rich girls, and their mother in the seat buy them, the wind blows the money out from under my moms foot and blows into the air and one of the prissy girls grabs it, I grab it from her hand but she holds on and I punch her in the jaw and she lets go, then her I'm assuming sister starts hitting me with an avon catalog, so I hand my moms money back to my mom and then grab the girls avon catalog and throw it into the wet gutter and she and her sister and their mother yell at me, so I slam the car door shut and the van drives off.

It was lucid. I found out that I'm dreaming. I was in subway. I saw 2 fighter men in the train. They would hit me. I was fast. So they couldn't hit me. I went upstairs. Looks like metro had infinite floor. Staircase I was very interesting. Staircases were so crowded. All the people were looking at me. I stopped at one of the floors and felt down myself to be killed. (I decided to die in dream to wake up in another dream). After hit to the floor I felt pain and then went somewhere else. Looked like It was an OBE. Then I waked myself up and done a RC. I was awake in real (current) world...

Maya and I are in a house. Mom. This house is long and narrow. There is a yellow white lighting to the place like there are a lot of lamps overhead and about. It is crowded and cluttered. We are playing a game. I cannot recall how we entered the game but there is a dark, authoritative figure present and the game begins. We are chased and harassed by two huge dogs. Like pit bull, greyhound, wolf hybrids. They have snarling teeth and dirty mugs.

We are scratched and bitten but never mortally or even severely wounded. I spot a large stuffy sofa below and open window. I look to a bite/scratch on my finger and see it bloody and bubbling with pus. Out the window is another row type house and and average neighborhood. Now I am lucidly aware that this is very much got the feel of my birth house on Alberta. We jump out the window onto the stuffy chair.

WBTB
wake @ 4am
sleep @ 5:30(ish)
200mcg huperzine-a
8mg nicotine gum

I enter the dream knowing I am dreaming...
I have a task in mind, and also open myself to what the dreams wants to show me first.
I fly through a dimly light park at night. There are trees, and I want to fly to a tree and nestle in it. I approach a tree and fly up into the branches, it has no leaves, I realize it is rotting. There is a huge trunk-like branch falling off, and I see that wherever there are big branches, they are falling off because of letter-sized sheets of paper embedded in the trunk, keeping the branch from attaching properly to the trunk. I land on the large "trunk" and it sways and I stay as light as possible so it doesn't break off**. I pull out the sheet of paper and read it, it's fairly clear but I don't remember exactly what it says just that I understand it is a criminal rap sheet. I think, "but this isn't ME!" and I'm wondering about it, when a group of cops show up with flashlights and flashing lights.

I panicked for a moment and started to fly away, then flew down and faced them directly, choosing an open, friendly attitude and emotional tone. I don't remember exactly what we talked about, I explained myself, and they responded in a manner of, "oh, ok, no problem" and left. As they left, I was pressed in from all sides by a multitude of people. I noticed an impulse to fight them, but I let myself feel it and acknowledge it without acting on it while I sorted through appropriate responses and settled on projecting a solid field of light pink love.

Almost immediately they all dispersed and (I might have this mixed up with another part of the dream sequence) I notice one really big guy. I jumped on him and hugged him, really pleased to see him. I kissed him, thinking, "integration".

I flew back to the tree, and wrapped myself around a branch and hugged it.
There is more in between I do not remember.

I find myself standing in a dimly lit room, watching a man sitting next to a teenager who is lying on a couch. They are dark-skinned. The boy is ill and feeling bad, and the man is striking the boy with small, precise BAPS that spark in the dark. He is berated the boy for feeling bad. I didn't really want to be in on this scene, and I ask the dream, "Am I really needed here?"
"Yes" is the answer.
Ok. So I say to the man, "I notice that you are sitting there hurting him and then wondering why he feels bad and getting mad at him about it!" The scene then shifts, and the boy is lying in twin-sized bed next to me on my right, I am on his left side. The sheet over him is cream-colored, pulled up nearly to his chin, the head/footboard are a simple wood fram, similar to mission-style. The boy has now changed to someone more feminine.

I lay my hands on her belly, left of center, and run Frequency 17. She groans a little. Then I move further down her belly, it might have been the womb area, and I say to her, "This is where all of your ancestral money stuff is..." and run Frequency 27 into it. I move slightly as she groans and vomits into a bin on the side of the bed (that is a pale mustard color and looks like those ikea shoe bins that hang on the wall with 3 drawers). I had opened the bottom bin for her...she spewed and filled it up, I pulled the bin out and moved it away, then tried to make another one appear but couldn't so I opened the second one for her, anticipating more spewage. There may have been just a bit more.

I turned to face her, and she was a beautiful woman with broad features that seemed somewhat asian, she looked a lot like my friend Stepha, and her skin was light golden brown and covered with freckles. She had warm brown eyes and a kind, gentle smile. I suddenly wanted to kiss her and have sex with her, we may have kissed (if we did anything else I don't remember).

Another snippet of being in a restaurant that reminded me of a country diner. I decided to fly out through the ceiling and the first time I tried I bounced against the ceiling and fell back to the floor. I laughed and was a little embarrassed and other people saw it. I checked...ok I *did* just fly so I am dreaming...and tried again, this time a little slower and it was like flying through gel. I flew through several layers and I wondered whether I would ever find open space then I flew through one last layer that was like the dome of "the capitol building" and silver, and wa-la, open air.

I flew along and landed in garden that I thought of as "English". Three people approached me, the one in the middle had something that looked like my shower backscrubber that he started to poke me with. I gave him some very firm yet kind command NOT to do that, and the guy to my left reacted very surprised and said, "You are quite the diplomat!". We talked about I don't know what and I flew on.

Without deciding to, I found myself zooming along in outerspace, going faster and faster, realizing how easy and effortless it was and how it was further and faster than "anyone's" been before. A space shuttle flew up beside me so I paused and it stopped and several astronauts disembarked and they all streamed around me. I didn't want to let them get too close, I think they wanted to catch me so I stayed just out of their reach (they all were tethered by air lines to the shuttle.) I don't remember what happened after that, I'm pretty sure it wasn't the end of the dream...I hope I flew on!

There was more, but in the dream I decided that it was really more important to stay in and do the healing and integration stuff I was doing rather than try to wake up to remember it.

***The dream tree to me represents a family tree - and I felt like this dream was showing me that ancestral criminal acts were somehow affecting the tree and disintegrating it. I am adopted, and have had a lifelong terror of "going to jail", even though that isn't something that I was raised with or threatened with, and my bio sister has a criminal history. So, I think I'm going to check in on the tree later, maybe it was enough to just be aware and know the person in the rap sheet wasn't me.