nightmare

These are moments that struck me as odd or notable, drawn from a number of dreams over the past four or five months. All non-lucid. Mainly these are moments that disturbed me, the ones I felt had deeper meaning if I had the wisdom to penetrate the veil around them--moments with animals, periods of huge change in the dream, and quiet, dark aspects.

-My ex-girlfriend and now good friend had written a book of life advice. Knowing she wrote it, I spoke to her, and she answered through the pages. I felt a sudden chill of knowing and a measure of uneasiness. She told me to sell everything that I owned.

-An old lady who rode my bus. We got off at the same time. In the midst of mindless chitchat, I started discussing centaurs. She told me, "War is coming. Mars shines brighter than ever. And Pluto." I told her, "I am Pluto."

-The closest I've been to flying, I was on a Skyrim-esque adventure (what a beautiful, wonderful game), and I had jetpacks that shot me up into the air. I'd fall, then launch myself up again. Think Iron Man, but propulsion rather than energy.

-A wooden boat in an underground crypt, like the Phantom of the Opera. I knew it was preparation for something. Later, a Smith Agent reaches into my forehead. I left, and had a strange incident with a dog, which was tied to me, and a squirrel, which I tried to protect from the dog but ended up scratching me. A group of friends took a look at my wrist, rubbed my forehead and reassured me to not feel fear or anxiety.

-A group of schoolmates, who have no drug interest, all took magic mushrooms. They all described it as catapulting the mind into the universe. However, it was intuitively understood that the return to earth would have to be paid in blood.

-First lion dream, my friend had one chained. It ran back and forth, the length of its chain. I lay there. It would sniff me each pass, getting closer. Fear.

-Second lion dream. I'm sitting with a friend in a field, and I see a lion approach. I determine not to move or show any signs of fear, but I know I'm lying, the lion knows, my scent is palpable. He approaches, sniffs me as if to take a bite. Then, the dream shifts. Another friend tells me the lion was shot with a tranquilizer dart from a helicopter.

-In the dark of night, under an underpass in heavy snow, I stumble and fall as I walk with my brother's ex-girlfriend. My hand finds another warm hand buried in the snow, and I grasp it. Fear wakes me.

-An eagle perches on a totem pole, and lets down an ancient runed manuscript that reads: 'Human Yoga.' He transforms into a boy named Sam, though he wishes to remain anonymous and is only revealed by a group of passerbys.

-As I walk in the front door of my home at night, I see unfathomably massive lights in the sky, like great energy beams charging. They briefly grow in intensity (it looks like ancient letters with the Enlgish W, S and A) then fire. With a primal yell, I struggle to slam my front door shut due to the incredible shock wave that sweeps through. Low in the sky, a ship the size of a small city roars overhead.

-A very intelligent, conservative and large dragon was intent on consuming my family, friends and own person. We were in a castle by a forest of evil monkeys, and I was attempting to diplomatically see everyone out of this crisis.

-My brother and I were in an industrial, Spartan-like training complex where boys were trained into soldiers. We found a room with water and boxes. I opened one and pulled out this strange fleshly doll, abnormally proportion (large chest and arms, triangular but human). I dropped it into the water, and remember debating whether to pull it out. I knew it was right to, so I did. As I picked it up, it drew breath.

-I was playing a hunting game. I morphed into a werewolf, but then took to the skies as a pterodactyl.

-A dream of two blind men at different times. One passed me in a hall. The other, I scaled a wall, and he was scaling the opposite way. The guy looked rough, with strange eyes, oozing sores, and an expression of anguish.

-Three large snakes were moving in waves, all as one. There was one tiny white snake that I held in my hand.

-I had three bugs of different color which I noticed were imbedded in my forearm. They began to hurt, and I scratched at them to break free from their painful bite.

-I was driving with my friend in the city, when I noticed a bridge next to us begin to collapse. We were on a bridge, too, and it collapsed behind. As we entered, the buildings of the city began to be broken up and destroyed around us as we drove both forward and in reverse.

-I was missing several teeth. A woman I knew suggested I use various crystals and stones, but they were all too large to fit what was missing.

I had another nightmare about Elliot on Sunday night. I was babysitting him with one of my bar customers, Denny, (who in waking life is an insufferable human being and he was no different in the dream world) Denny was working on something in the grass and Elliot was asleep on a blanket (He is 2 now but in the dream he was just a baby again) I go over to help Denny with whatever annoying request he has and Elliot wakes up and crawls over to a very small stream, more like what happens when you leave a hose running on the lawn and the water starts to pool and run, and stuck his little head right in the water. I ran to pick him up out of the water but he had already rapidly bloated up and turned into what looked like a very strange imitation of a baby. Once I realized that he was dead I shutdown whenever anyone in the dream tried to talk to me. I kept thinking, this is a dream, this has to be a dream, this cannot be happening (and it was, thank goodness) but it all felt so real. I remember seeing a photo of Julian, Sydney and Elliot all together and happy.
This dream tainted my whole day with an undertone of dread.

Yesterday I could again not recall my dream. But today, I could recall a lot.

Fragment 1:
IRL the ink of my printer has to be replaced, I am the only one that knows, because I keep forgetting to tell my dad to get ink. But I dreamed that I was on my laptop watching Youtube video's and my father printed something and the paper came out white, but with a purple square on it (IRL only the black ink has to be replaced, the colored ink is still full). My father showed me the papers he just printed and said 'Yes, ink has to be replaced.'. Which is weird because I hadn't told him in my dream (or IRL) that the ink had to be replaced.

Dream/nightmare:This dream shows my exam stress
I was in the classroom were I have to take my exams IRL next week. I was given my English exam and already started making it, but when I looked up the teacher was still talking and nobody was writing. I slowly closed my test and listen to the teacher explaining I couldn't write on my test, only on my answers-paper. I panicked because I wrote on my test and I didn't have a answers-paper. Than everybody started and I asked for the answers-paper. For some reason I was sitting in a different seat right now. First I was sitting front row in the middle, now I was front row next to the windows. The woman gave me a paper, but it wasn't the answer-paper, it was just a paper to take notes. I had a notepad with me (IRL you can't have that with you when you are making your exams), and started making the test. I turned around to look at the clock and it was huge and I still had enough time left. Than there was something wrong with my calculator (why I needed a calculator for my English exam, I don't know). So I raised my hand and a teacher (a tall small, dress wearing, grey short 'curly' haired) came and I asked her for another calculator and a answers-paper. She gave me a calculator, but not a answers-paper. Than I was hot, because I was wearing a thick scarf and a winter coat. Than all of the sudden it was okay, I was wearing a thin scarf and just a T-shirt. I got passed a note, almost like a homemade greeting card, from the gray haired teacher. It said I was to loud and I wasn't going to finish the test and I should stop asking for paper and stuff and I was awful kid. I was so shocked and so panicked I didn't react. I looked on the clock and thought I still had an hour, but the other male teacher stood up and said that we just had ten minutes. I panicked again. I raised my hand and the gray haired teacher gave me the answers-paper without talking.
As a mad men I started to take over my answers from my note pad to my answers-paper. But I found out that the test had to parts and I only made the second part, but both assignments started counting at number 1. So I had only made the second part. In five minutes or so I made the first part.
Then my dream ended.

Fragment 2:
I was on the stage with two other classmates in front of all my classmates and their (and mine) parents and grandpa's and grandma's and uncles and aunts. It was graduation day and I was getting my diploma and now a teacher was going to say something about me and my other classmates that were on stage.

Fragment 3: followup of my dream
I handed in the paper and collected my writing stuff and walked out of the classroom.


So this dream clearly shows my anxiety's, but when I woke up I felt really confident t that I would make my exams well and that I would graduate.

Date: May 4
Sleep length: 3h + 5h
Techniques: DILD + WBTB
Dream Summary:
(pre) at first, I remembered another dream because of this dream. dream (1) is a sequel of this dream: I was in a forest with a friend of mine. We used to do drugs in a certain forest, but this time we didn't. It looked like autumn, everything was red. We were at a big hollow and suddenly we noticed a police officer with a drug dog. We laughed and said "Luckily we don't have drugs"
(1) well guess what happens in now. We are at this hollow again, and he got some weird drug. It was mixed with coffee for some reason... He hasn't told me which drug he used though. I thought it was Meth or Cocaine. The effect was more like Weed and a bit Acid though. I blacked out for a moment, when I woke up the drug-mug was under the bench we were sitting on and we were blown away. I tried to stand up and fell down. I was trying to throw away some weird empty blunt which was covered in a yellow liquid. Then we wanted to go away, but of course there was this drug dog again, as expected. We wanted to go away without him noticing, but he already smelled us so we started running. Here's the action part of this dream. I was running and thinking and I thought I was gonna get some "police letter" and I was also kinda afraid of this dog. I realized it's probably too late and turned around. I wanted to keep my dignity. But I couldn't find the police, so I just turned around again and started running again. I ran through the red forest to a field and gradually woke up. When I woke up I continued thinking about running, until I realized it's a dream and I should write it down.
(2) When I was writing (1), I remembered (2). I was playing pokemon like back when I was a kid. It was fun, I tried to catch a rare pokemon. I went to my balcony to play there, it was night and pretty dark. This is really just a fragment, I was hearing voices from a room with an opened window. It was my mother and a guest.
Vividness/Awareness: 8/2
Emotions: trust - indifference - shock - fear - worry - guilt
Tags: drug, coffee mug, forest, autumn, police dog, running;; balcony, pokemon

IT starts in an uknown place where my mother moved. Apparently I have a different lady as my mother in this dream. (I do not know who she is.) The scene is an old house in the middle of No where it's gray and deserted, broken rocks everywhere. My sister and I decided to explore this spooky gloomy looking house. So I tell her "look I think there is a basement down there" I point to this broken set of rocks. She decided to jump on them while I start to look for a safer way to go down stairs so I did and end up getting down faster then her. She says "Why didn't you tell me " I say "I don't know". We both slowly walk in this big wide room full of things that seem to be owned by another family. My sister start to look through the clothing that seem to be very cute. I tell her to stop that we do not know who it belongs to. She looks at me and says "I sent care". My youngest little sister appears from the blue and she to is walking around. After my sister stops looking through the clothes and has a pile to take. My youngest sister start to say "let's go I don't like this place " a green transparent lady with an ugly face yells and appears on top of us. My youngest sister slams a glass object to the floor and let's out a scream of anger and cries. Me terrified to touch her knowing that the ghost or demon posses her I hug her and say "it's ok". And then I wake up.

I just experienced my first WILD or OBE. I was trying to take a nap for about an hour when I suddenly had those scary vibrations running through my body. iI kept myself cam and instead of fighting them like I always do I felt my body go into paralysis. It was not as scary as I thought it would be, just letting go. Not a long time after that , I felt as though I were being pulled by my right hand up towards the ceiling. I couldn't open my eyes at this point (throughout the entire experience I could barely open them, I felt very weak) but I knew I was still laying on my side. As my arm was being pulled upwards I had the sensation of being picked up under the shoulders and I was placed in the opposite direction on the bed. It all had a very muddled quality to it, I remember opening my eyes and, my knees were on the floor and my upper body was laying on the bed, it turned into some kind of dream within a dream and my lucidity was momentarily lost to a dream.

My room essentially looked the same but there were things on the side of my bed that crackled like a plastic bag when i stepped on it. The dream I fell into was babysitting Elliot and I was throwing him up in the air and suddenly a man was behind me putting duct tape on my and his mouth. I remember then being back in my room not yet awake, though I thought I was, and trying to remember how to write this down, I was in front of my closet and I had what felt like tunnel vision, I could barely see anything and I had the sensation at one point that someone/ something else was in the room with me and that did end up scaring me into trying to move my physical body. I think thats when I realized I was still in bed and tried to really wake myself up. It is very difficult trying to pull your body out of the paralysis stage, I know it is nothing to be scared of but I'm not sure if I will ever feel completed at ease in that state. It was a very interesting experience..I'm not sure what I was expecting but that certainly was not it.

This is an easy one for me because I could also feel in it. (Feel is used in terms of pressure and not like hot, cold, or pain for this dream.)

I was about 6(irl) when I had my first LD. I went to bed like normal but I woke up again. The first thing I saw was my intestines wrapped around the other end of the spike that I was impaled on. It was to dark to see much of anything else but I could hear other things around me. I could make out what looked like other people on them also. This would not have been that bad but I could feel myself slipping farther down the spike and I could feel my intestines getting caught/ pulled out. I decided to try to climb off of it. As I started to climb I noticed that my hands felt wet and I could smell the blood. I almost made it to the top when I lost my grip and fell farther down the spike. I had to pull myself together to climb back up again. It was harder climbing down once I got off and when I touched the ground I woke up.

Hello. I figured I would post some of my old dreams that I took control of after getting tired of them. May be these methods will help some of you to.

I was having a nightmare (LD) that I was running away from something but it kept on getting me and then the dream would reset. After about 5 times of this I decided I didn't want to do this anymore. I closed my eyes and concentrated on making a door appear next to me. After a little bit of concentrating I opened my eyes and went through the door. In here was a completely blank "room" where I began to make anything I wanted. I started small with some friends then a roller-coaster and eventually ended up playing quittage (I was in like middle school). I used this method to help with a lot of nightmares when I was little.

4/25/14* I saw 2 sets of people in my dream that I don't remember dreaming about before from waking life and people I haven't seen for a while. One I haven't seen for probably 25 years (MB) and the other set were my wife's uncles L, P, & E , two of which I saw maybe 3 or 4 years ago and one of them about seven years ago perhaps. Also there was C from the office & bro-law B. I did get news feeds from facebook for them recently including just last night on the one that I haven't seen for 25 years.

To bed 11pm. Not trying anything tonight but I woke up at 4 a.m. from a disturbing dream related to possession. Basically "D" from the office was looking at me and saying that there's something wrong with you and I kind of laugh it off and later he says oh your left sleeve is bundled up oddly like you are possessed, however that connection was made! I joke around about being possessed but I also think about some of the people who think lucid dreaming could lead to something like that. He says you shouldn't joke around, you've got a strange vibe about you and I make a growling noise as a joke but when I did that I felt very strange and backed off from my joking and woke up. I think that raised my awareness quite well which resulted in the unintentional dild in the dream below.

(R-rated sexual content - if you don't visualize the words)
I was at a party (I think @my sister in laws house) and I was leaving the party getting ready to walk to my car and one of the women at the party walked up to me and said hey wait maybe I can walk with you because
my house is around the corner. it seems she didn't want to walk alone, it was night time. After a little walk she comes to her car. I guess she lives far enough around the corner to have driven and she tells me to get in she will show me her house and then take me back to my car. She has a 6 unit building and she lives in one of the units even though there are no multi family dwellings in the neighborhood...this doesn't occur to me at the time. She starts to take me back to my car but she's driving backwards instead of turning around. I go with it but then she starts rolling up on a curb, a steep curb and I can feel the car tilt but I remind myself that the tilt is not severe enough to turn the car over and surely she's about to roll back off the curb but then she keeps going and now she's heading towards a cliff. As we approach the cliff I realize how improbable this is and that it feels like a dream scenario but as we're dropping off the cliff I'm not
100% sure so I think well there's nothing I can do at this point anyway might as well enjoy the ride down either way. I can feel the strong g's particularly on my face from dropping and it feels so realistic like one of those drop tower rides but I am 99% sure that it is a dream now. A thought pops in my head that well if I we're about to die we might as well have last sex and it seems like at that point the vehicle stops dropping and it is now a large van. The woman seems to have heard my thoughts or was thinking the same thing and lays down on the floor of the van and pulls up her shirt. She is not wearing a bra underneath. We both start taking off our pants and underwear and the driver of the van, like one of those large shuttle vans starts walking back towards us like she its going to tell us off. I look up at her and the woman on the floor starts giving me a bj and it feels very realistic I start looking around this shuttle van and looking down at the woman who is giving me the bj and I am fascinated by
all of the realism. Her eyes, her eyebrows, her hair. Apparently this is a bus full of nurses and they all look so realistic as well but I don't have ideas for the others yet and in fact the nurses all start giving us reasons why we should not be doing this which seems to be trying to tug at my lucidity. Instead I find myself back in bed, awake. *Now this is a little bit of a strange coincidence but my wife woke up and told me she had a bad dream. She almost never remembers our dreams and rarely talks about them and thinks it's strange that I focus on my dreams and that I lucid dream. She said she had a dream that she was at a party (like mine) and I was there with a woman and I was being nice to her like she was my new woman or something and my wife got very upset and left. Not necessarily an uncommon thing to have a dream about being at a party & jealousy, but I thought it was interesting. Lately my self-awareness still seems to be lower as it has swung more towards my surroundings.

My dream starts as sort of a nightmare. The nightmare itself is jumbled and confused - there's not a clean narrative. It's mostly short, quick clips of action strung together and viewed from a 3rd person POV. Mud and rain; earth sliding into a river, pulling people down with it... switch to what seems like a motel and some sequences that seem like they're out of a slasher horror flick, people running in fear, and severed limbs and blood everywhere. It mostly seems like it's just my brain tossing up whatever seems disturbing and frightening at the moment.

Because of how disjointed it is, it's failing to really frighten or disturb me. My mind starts to get more and more distanced from what's going on, and starts paying less attention to it. I gain lucidity in one of the motel/dorm rooms while two women are arguing with each other. They look straight out of the 80s - one has bleached hair teased up a mile high and fake orange tanner, and the other is a brunette with a ponytail and teased bangs. As soon as I realize this is a dream, I am no longer a disembodied observer. There's an oval mirror on the wall - I run up to it and look at myself in the mirror in order to reaffirm that I now have a physical presence.

I immediately crouch on the floor and start running my fingers through the carpet in order to solidify my surroundings. Things seem to be fading, so I stand up and produce a hand mirror from behind myself and examine myself in it. The two women have stopped arguing and are looking at me. I feel embarrassed about them potentially thinking that I'm just extremely vain (despite the fact that they're just dream characters), so I shrug and tell them, "I'm just making sure I still exist."

They lose interest in me, and I lose interest in them, because I've decided that since my scene changes haven't gone so well lately, maybe I'll just mold my current surroundings into what I want. I pull up the software interface for 3D Studio Max and start modeling furniture for the room. Despite being a motel room, it has no bed, so I decide to experiment with creating one. I begin working on it as if it's a 3D model for a video game.

The two women have faded away. I minimize the "software" I'm working with to check and see if the bed has appeared. It has, and looks very solid, but it's the plain solid white of a 3D model that has been imported into some engines but doesn't have a texture linked to it (or the texture isn't loading).

I decide I'll texture it later, once I've gotten the hang of this, and decide to start working on one of the windows. I "import" it into my software and begin tweaking it. The window is a little bit tougher - it resists conforming to what I want.

The dream fades. Eventually, another one starts, but it's non-lucid. I'm watching a bunch of characters in a video game and "piloting" some of them, and the game is sort of Harvest Moon-y but instead everybody is little Lego people and they're going to classes at a university. One of the landslide scenes from the prior nightmare replays, but with little Lego people instead of realistic people. The character I'm piloting is supposed to get a date for a festival coming up and has until 5 a.m. the day of the festival, but because of the landslide, I don't manage to complete the objective and watch the festival play out without a date. The characters go to class, and the professor is very boring. The textbook is 900 pages long, but the professor is focusing on a 4 page section of it. The students have smuggled some pot edibles into class, and when the professor goes to another room for a few minutes, they all leave class to get high. The character I'm piloting stays in class. When the prof gets back, he seems bummed that nobody cares about the lecture.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #204: Ozone

I’m sitting at a craft table with three other people: a guy in his late 20s (“Guy”), a woman in her 30s (“Lady”), and a crazy-looking woman in her mid-40s (“Crazy Lady”). Crazy Lady keeps talking to herself and acting disturbed as she works on her project.

Lady gets the bright idea to tell Crazy Lady that Guy has a prize for her. “If you get all your work done, maybe he’ll give it to you.” Crazy Lady keeps asking what the prize is, becoming more and more fixated on this prize until she gets out of her chair and approaches Guy. I have a feeling that something awful’s going to happen but that I can’t stop it.

Spoiler for Unpleasantness:

I see a pair of dirty scissors flash in Crazy Lady’s hand. She gouges them into the side of Guy’s neck and then grinds the thick, dull blade across his throat. Blood everywhere. Guy collapses to the ground.

Crazy Lady disappears from the scene as Lady and I rush to help Guy. Now I’m on the phone with emergency services begging them to come help us. They sound very unhurried and tell me that the wait will be “about 30 minutes”. I’m stressed out that they’re going to take so long but I hope they know what they’re doing. I nose pinch reality check in the hope that this isn’t real, and when I blow throuigh I think, No way am I so lucky that this is all a dream. I confirm with a second nose pinch, that yes, I’m dreaming!

Guy and Lady both disappear from the scene and I’m left along in an empty classroom. I wander outside into a misty nighttime street scene. I feel happiness and contentment to have escaped a nightmare and I peacefully explore the environment.

The bricks on the side of the building fascinate me first, and I bring my vision right up close to them. No matter how close I get, my eyes never lose focus. I seem to be able to look further and further in, zooming into every crack and imperfection. My fingers explore the moist bricks and it’s like I can sense each individual drop of moisture with my fingertips.

I suddenly give the wall a huge sniff. It feels invigorating and seems to bring the scene even more fully to life. I sense moisture and a sharp whiff of ozone when I do this, just like what you might smell after heavy rain.

There are a few DCs hanging around nearby, talking softly about something I can’t make out. I approach one of them, a brown-haired guy that’s facing away from me, and examine his hair and scalp up close. I’m fascinated how I can see down to the individual hairs on his head. The DCs’ conversation ceases as I do this and it feels like I hit pause on what they were saying.

I take another huge sniff, this time of the guy’s scalp. It just smells like a bunch of hair. I laugh self-consciously at what a creepy thing this is to do. Fortunately the DC doesn’t react. I walk onward now through the misty night toward a short stone bridge that runs over some unknown river or creek. Before I cross it, the dream ends.

(Last night's dream I had April 21 around 3:30am I think)

My last dream started at my house I think I was with my cousin and mom near the kitchen. I walked into the kitchen and saw a pot with some white rice in it. Unlike my other dreams where I get mad if I think everyone ate without me. I remained calm. I ate some of the rice than left.(Yay Progress >w<) After that I appeared in a school. I saw people exiting and than suddenly someone yelled that the building was going to explode. So I and others ran to the exit I managed to escape after jumping and covering my head when I exited. After the explosion I walked into a apartment and saw a little girl with her mother. She was examining the girl's head from the back. Than began to talk to me. "You see these flowery lines on the back" the mother said while pointing at the back hair of her daughter."yeah" I said. The mom took out a white ointment and rubbed some on the back of her daughters head. "That's something the doctor won't tell you about" the mother said. I got worried it was something serious that I might have so I asked her " Can you put some on me? Please." She put some ointment on my back head than untied her hair and her daughters hair from their pony tails. "Sometimes you just gotta let your hair loose, you know?" The mother said. I thought to myself how I wanted to..but my hair is not good enough to be out now.Than that's when we felt someone else like an intruder was in the place. We decided to run together. We ran down the stairs and appeared in my house but in the downstairs hallway. It was dark. I could see the two other rooms but I was scared to go in the dark room. That's when the mom told me it was going to be Ok and helped me into the room. We could feel the intruder coming. " I'm scared..."I said a bit panicky. "I'm scared..." I said again than heard someone snoring . I turned to see a boy napping under a blanket. I began to shake his leg begging him to help me. He got up and said it would be OK. "But I'm scared..." I repeated. That's when a bright red light (the intruder) was near. The boy jumped out the bed in front of me. The setting changed a bit. He yelled to me "Go on the roof! than began to knock on a window sill that suddenly appeared in front of him. Than removed a face mask off his head. He looked at me than winked with a smile. I winked back at him intrigued by his actions. Then he winked again at me. Than I found it funny and winked again. Than after he winks one more time I went through the wall to my right and jumped on the roof. He followed me. The houses looked kind of mashed together. I jumped on two more roofs and landed on a very small red triangle roof. Looking down below I saw a scene where 4 people were. A lady asked if a girl was a guy's wife. She said "no, were friends." Than I woke up.

All 4 of my grandparents are alive and fit and well.
I see my mums parents a lot more as my dad's are always on holiday and I get the feeling his mum doesnt like me very much. His dad however is one of the loveliest people you could ever meet, a true gentleman who always opens doors for me, pulls my chair out at tables, puts my coat on for me etc. My mums dad is lovely as well, I get on so well with him we always laugh and joke together.

Anyway I dreamt last night that my dad's dad had died. Yet my mums dad had also died as well but not both of them, its really weird to explain, probably because I call both of them "Grandad" and of course I was absolutely devastated and at the time I knew it was just one of them but somehow it was both. It was horrible as i'm so close to both of them in real life.
I then went out somewhere to do a job, or it might have been college i can't remember, but I wanted to be let off doing the work by saying he had died but didnt want to actually say it
I can't stop thinking about them dying now.
Luckily (I guess) my mums parent's came over today for Easter so I got to see my Grandad and gave him a massive hug
I love them all so dearly

I'm going to write my last dream since its the one I remember. Before I fell asleep I was telling myself I would dream about going to a place where there's farmland, sunny and with little houses parallel to each other around asia and I did. Except the houses and the floor looked like they were made out of straw or sand. It was very yellowy there..
Anyways... I was flying through the sky, looked down and saw my destination. I flew down and my intentions were to find someone else in the dream. Like shared dreaming. I was walking and saw a long haired long beard spirit like man walk through the house. Than I was like "oh crap. " I wanted to run but I didn't.
He was walking and I said " Hi, I'm looking for someone". Than all of a sudden he walked towards me and got brighter like he flashed and went inside me. Suddenly I could see images of a dark place with spirit like people and tombstones. They were walking going about their buisiness. After a few seconds it stopped and I began to walk scared looking for a tombstone that would probably be interesting to find and found a silver large oval like case with eyes on it.
That's when I appeared on my bed. And I felt someone hitting my back and my head but couldn't move. I yelled at it to stop. It did but than it tryed to cover both my eyes with its hands.I told it to stop again and suddenly a boy appeared under me. He held me and I was like "what are you doing?" But than I felt kind of safe. I could move now. In my mind I wanted to kiss him and I didn't.
Than he said it was ok if I wanted to have it with him and pulled me close to him. But than I was like no. I can't and got up out of my bed and that's when I noticed he was breathing really fast. I asked him " why are you breathing like that?" He said "I don't know" I think. That's when a sudden image of blood popped up into my mind. Than another one showed and I woke up. I don't believe in ghosts but I think I had this dream cause I was thinking about the past lives thing, and what if it was real and I really was some type of Asian lady in the past. Its funny cause in my second dream near the end I looked at a picture of pokemon cards and images popped up into my head of a lady running in a horse contest, supposedly she was the only girl. Than all of a sudden I hear a voice say hey, look at the faggot. Just cause he had long hair. <w< Well that was random..

Background: This was very close to morning. All my dreams are tier 1, in other words, they make sense. And after settling down and examining this one it made complete sense. Doesn't mean it didn't bother me.

Also, I know this was a ridiculous dream, feel free to laugh at me.

Dream: So, when Marvel was filming the first Avengers movie they were in my town. I had quite a bit of serious stuff going on in my personal life and really couldn't have cared less, despite being a huge comic book nerd and not (at that time) being obsessed with one of the actors as I am now. By the time I saw the movie in the theater it finally dawned on me how wonderful this guy was. At one point in the movie, I recognized where he was and it dawned on me that I had walked in that same place about a dozen times and had been close by and could have seen him. Frequently. It was about that time I started beating myself up about this. Of course, I let it go and tried to move on despite my obsession. I saw pics of this actor on set at his new movie yesterday and then last night (or rather, this morning) had a nightmare that he was filming another movie in town and this time it was in my backyard (we have a very picturesque location), but something was keeping me from seeing him (important classes, work, something). It was so frustrating, I felt like I was missing out on meeting my soul mate...for the second time.