non-lucid

barely remember a fragment of this dream

dream fragment: Something about me at my grandmas house, and I'm sitting at the dinner table, and a boy is sitting the opposite side of me. He stares at me the whole time. My grandma serves us soup or something and the boy keeps denying any food offered to him, and me and my grandma are just perplexed by it.

I enter this unregulated fun house with shit that is too dangerous for anyone, like rusty fucking metal wall shards hanging out of the walls. I go in and these two boys go in after me, and they gang up together and decide to chase/beat me at racing through this thing for some reason. And this fun house didn't lead through it to an exit, you had to find your way. I see kids and old people who've been stuck in here for I'd say a long time. They're skinny and weak looking and dirty and begging me for something but they're to weak to tell me so they just reach their hands out to me. I have no choice but to run because I hear those two boys catching up. I run and duck under things and jump over this rusty fence, and then crawl into this tube that leads a story up. and I hear them climb into the tube a few seconds later. Then I drop off the side of a tube crack instead of continuing forward, and they don't hear me, I continue to run while ducking and I hear them bickering to each other about where I went. Then I ran down this clear glass tube that's going down at a slope, and then I begin to walk through water getting deeper and deeper, this leads to a glass tank that's surrounded by the ocean depths. The water is so deep now that I'm swimming under water, and the tube had opened up into a square tank filled with fish and eels, there's no air pocket at the top, I'd have to go back up the sloped glass tunnel that lead me in here. I look out of the glass tank at the dark ocean and see this huge great white swim fast as fuck towards the tank I'm in and it slams into it and it shakes. It scared the fuck out of me so I swim back the way I cam as fast as I can. Then I see those two boys swimming into the tank but they don't see me swimming above them so I keep going. Then run out once I surface enough. I keep to this lowest floor and see a exit to the night outside, and I see carnival lights but the exit is squished by upper level tubes and I just make it out and the worker from the beginning give me a dirty look and the scummy people he was chatting with give me dirty looks like they were hoping I fail.

I'm sitting on the couch. My half sister walks over and sits too close to me. I'm annoyed, she starts trying to talk to me about how in high school she had this girlfriend named Jenny and then she begins to talk about what they'd do IN the bathroom while ditching and I interrupt her because I don't want to hear it, I'm grossed out. I start to walk away and she keeps talking about I'm a prude about and she gets louder so I throw a purple clunk of plastic that was on this table at her head, but it doesn't effect her at all, she just continues to stare at me she didn't even blink, and she's still talking about stuff, so I yell "bla bla bla bla bla" louder then her talking and that goes on for a good 5 minutes.

Me and my sister are walking through door after door after door endlessly, and we're fucking thirsty, like when we were children. One of the doors we walk through my mom is in sitting on a chair, she gets up and takes us by the hand and runs us through the doors faster. Each door we go through leads to a different room or scene. Some lead out to a desert, then a door into a dark purple and green fly infested room, then the next door into a basketball court. Finally we go through a door that has two water bottle filled with distilled water but only half way full me and my sister try to grab it before our mom shove us out the door, we do and we drink it all but it didn't quench our thirst at all. We keep telling her to stop and that we are dehydrated, and exhausted, but she ignores us and makes us keep going.

I am walking aimlessly around this room that seems to be an below the surface room on a ship. Someone is sitting in a chair in the corner passed out snoring. I'm looking at all the shit in here and know that it's a DC's room who will be here any minute. All of a sudden the DC's computer turns on and some guy is on the other end of a web cam, and he gets all excited to see me, and I wonder why, but I block the camera with something because I find it weird, and the guy looks all pervy. Then I look again and he's still there and he yells OMG Miley Cyrus. Then I realize I'm Miley Cyrus, and freak out, the the DC comes in and yells at me for fucking with his webcam, so I run around his bed and sit down and he forgets I'm there. (p.s. I'm not a miley fan, so)

Journal Entry non-lucid #21 Dream, non-dream (Comments)
Background:
Dream fragment 1 from 8:30am-2:10am" Self Preception": I was inside a store and I was shopping for cloth. I got a little bio of the guy, apparently he used to work in a store before he went with his intuition and created his own. He walked up to me and he told me not to burn my old cloth before looking at their cloth. I said you think I am crazy. Then I looked at my self, I am not sure if it was a mirror but I saw my image or the image I think of myself. My hair was unevenly cut and my beard was all over the place.

Other dream fragment(not enough details)
-Trying to find some sort of good healthy food to eat from. I went with my sister some where.
-Was doing some math problems with, my friend TO. Some endless problem.

today i dreamt i was on my kitchen in my house, i was taking a peek on kitchen's window
i saw it was a sunny day and i saw a drag race track behind the children park. i looked at it
as it was something normal then i thought to myself: "Was this here before?" i started to wonder
and kept looking, i saw a blue long hatched back car, going full throttle, till the other side
of the track, on the other side of the track there was a old buggy, and a man standing on the seat.
by this time i was already near the drag racing track, while he was giving full throttle to his buggy
he was shooting his shotgun to the sky, so we could think that was doing exhaust explosions.


Dream elements:

-kitchen
-cars
-drag track



Technique used: ----------

hours slept: 7 hours

I'm trying to catch a bus, but the station I've found turns out to be the wrong place - it's a place for repairs only. I sit around the station anyway. There's a guy who I initially thought worked there, turns out to be just another person waiting like me, who tells a story about a dead body that was left unburied. There's a girl listening to the story who slips and falls, hurts herself, and I pick her up and carry her somewhere. She works for my family, who owns most of this town, and she's worried that slipping like that might get her fired - her job involves athletic skill. She's not wrong.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

After an IRL-based scene and a memory gap, I'm lying in a bed, watching a dream image form; I have an impression of gold and light and a woman's face, but it's blurred and I'm thinking that I can influence it too easily, I decide I'm not asleep enough for this, it's more imagination than dream. I decide to just let myself wake up instead, and let the image disappear, so there's no visuals. I open my eyes. I'm in a dorm, I'm a high school kid at either a boarding school or a very fancy camp or something, rooming with two other guys, and we go out to the lake and have some competition that winds up accidentally involving other people and getting us in trouble. I fall on top of the rotting body of a snake in the water, and a bit of it gets stuck under one of my fingernails. The teacher or counselor or whoever it is that tells us off for causing trouble mostly just seems amused by us; he refers to us as Vision house, and says it's all valuable experience.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm traveling with two other people, looking for something or someone, and right now I'm making a deal with an old woman I associate with trolls, to allow us to pass. She's sitting on a rock in some canyon, dry earth without any plants, and there's a cloud of dust over some footprints that appear and disappear as if there were invisible people moving around just in front of her. I associate those footprints with whoever/whatever we're looking for, it's why I'm talking to the troll-woman. She agrees to a deal: three for three. She'll allow the three of us to pass if we can win three fights against her people.

The scene changes: we're at an indoor pool, facing the first of her people. Although the two guys I was traveling with are still here, they're standing aside; I have the impression they'll stop the guy we have to beat if he moves towards them, but otherwise, I'm the one handling this. I'm in the water, and I become aware that I have a long fin on my back like a lancetfish, that there's something off, fish-like, about my hands and skin and eyes as well. The guy and I both follow the same pattern of engaging only to immediately back off, until eventually I get him into the water and hold him under. Once this is done, I look at him and think that he looked malnourished. I recognize him as someone who'd been on death row 'before we all came here.'

I am in my neighborhood with S and A. There is some kind of war going on and we know that our area of the country is not very well defended, and that whoever we are at war with is killing civilians, so there is a good chance that if we see any enemy soldiers, they will try and kill us.
I see an enemy plane fly over the subdivision, but it looks like its been shot down, and going to crash in the woods behind our sub. Ok, good. It stops right before hitting the ground and is able to hover about three stories above the ground. There is a large turret with a machine gun on under the plane, and the plane is going down the street very slowly, systematically shooting into every house killing the people inside.
Are there any weapons around? No. Are there any cars? Can we try and drive away? No. Well, I think to myself that my house has an in ground basement. Maybe if we hide in the bathroom (that is pretty deep into the ground) the enemy plane won't get to us.
But the enemy plane breaks its systematic route and flies straight over, following and targeting my friends and I directly. I just think to run, but of course when you try to run from something like this in a dream, you run at like 0.000000000001 miles/hour. No, I was running a pretty decent speed, but I still felt sluggish. I don't hear my friends but I know they're right behind me. I hear two bursts fire from the gun. Okay, they're dead. I'm trying to head down the hill behind my house, but I get shot in the back and wake up.

After waking up, I thought about how with a dream like that, it would have been so easy to attain lucidity. I get a glass of water and go back to bed.

I am in this post-apocalyptic type world. There are a number of partially destroyed buildings all around with a large crevasse running through the middle of town. The crevasse is filled with a cloud of pale orange gas that is supposedly poisonous.
I hear someone scream, and see that a girl is falling into the crevasse, so I obviously want to go and rescue her. So I jump into the canyon after her. (Yeah, real bright idea.) We actually jumped/fell from opposite sides and the canyon was quite wide.
But I was partially lucid, and I ignited flames out of my hands that allowed me to rocket down and catch up with her. But this wasn't like my fireball flying technique from before where there are little flames. I was blasting out an inferno behind me.
So of course, I catch her and lift her out of the canyon. I switch the flames to come out of my feet and one hand. I am carrying this girl by the back of her shirt collar with one hand. (Probably not the best way to carry anyone, but too late to change that now.) I didn't even know who I was saving. Could've been my guide, could've just been just some random person. (And if it was my guide, Then it's safe to assume it was some kind of test. I am getting sick of these stupid tests already.)
Well I am pulling up to the edge of the canyon ready to deposit her on the ledge and I get fully lucid.
"Another Lucid Dream! Finally!"
I land and let her down. I take a moment to tell myself that I am dreaming and rub my hands together stabilizing the dream some. And this time I actually recall my dream goal correctly, to ask a dream character for there new years' resolution.
Now whoever I had saved was wearing a big fur coat and when I deposited her on the ground, she just stayed laying down. I went over and flipped up the hood of the coat to see that whoever this was had up'n vanished. I got confused for a moment, and thought I sensed a presence of someone on top of one of the burnt-out buildings. I looked, but there was just a blurry outline of someone who had been there that quickly faded into the yellow sky.
The dream's clarity dropped like a brick and I lost lucidity. I picked out some dream character, a tall male wearing a jester hat and for some reason identified him as some agent of evil working for a bad guy. (I don't know why.) And I said out loud.
"Oh, great, not another one of his minions!"
The dream scene changed from the destroyed city to my neighborhood. The jester hat guy started trying to shoot me with a blow dart tube. I began running (much faster than I could run from the hovering airplane thing) on a sidewalk with hopes of losing him. I was heading toward the old middle school in my sub, planning to run a route that would confuse my assailant.
I managed to run for quite some time. The blow dart tube was not only ranged but deadly accurate. I would listen for the sound of him blowing, and a moment later duck or move my body in some way and avoid the dart. I managed to avoid getting hit until I got into the woods.
Just when I thought I was going to get away from this guy, I noticed that that the path in the forest was converted into an obstacle course. I tried to run it, but ended up tripping and breaking my ankle. The guy caught up to me, looked at me laying on the ground for a moment, then stomped on my head, causing me to wake up.

NON LUCID
*Helping my friend clayton get home
*Someone made a comment about Lama Surya Das teaching style.

Three dreams I can remember...

1: I was on a road, but there were no cars in it. It looked a little like a bridge and it was night. There was school desks, as if it were a classroom, so I chose one and sat down. I couldn't make much noise because it was late and I didn't want to wake up my parents. I was waiting to fall asleep, because my goal was to have a lucid dream.

I got tired of waiting, so I stood up and stretched a little. My back did a "crack" sound and I felt better. I chose another desk and sat down again, hoping I'd be able to lucid dream soon. Then, I heard lots of noises. I stood up and looked around. A building not far from me was on fire. I quickly got my phone out of my pocket to make a video. A helicopter showed up to throw water on the building, but it ended up being on fire too.

The helicopter crashed on the building and they blew up. I was expecting a huge BOOOM sound and the to be thrown back a little by air coming from there. Instead, I heard a "pop" and there was no air at all. I said: "seriously, brain? Seriously? A pop?" and the dream rewinded and they blew up again. Another "pop" and no air again. I said "oh, I give up! I'll show you a real explosion when I go lucid!"

2: I was arguing with my mum about her relationship with dad. In real life, dad had an affair a couple years ago and I was totally #TeamDivorce, but my mum decided to stay with him. In my dream, we were arguing about this until she fell asleep. Then, I was driving and trying to go home. It was night and I was lost, although I could see the buildings where we used to live. I had just decided I'd try to get to them and then, from there, I'd be able to go home, when she woke up.

3: I was Barney from HIMYM and I kept making the weirdest excuses about the weirdest things. Robin got really angry at me because she felt like I wasn't taking the fact we'd be married a in a few hours seriously. Then, I knew some people would be arriving in our hotel room to kill me, so I took her hand and we ran. We found ourselves in a military car and we managed to kill the people who wanted to kill us.

Then, the reveal: Ted is not just himself, he's his son too. And because of that, he doesn't really know the story of how he met the mother, since he keeps confusing the present, the past and the future - he's a time traveller. Robin didn't care about that, she was still angry cause she felt like I didn't love her. I talked to her about how our wedding was the most important thing ever. Then we had sex.

What I recall in this dream is me waking up in some sort of institutional-type building. However, the setup is very strange to me. The floor beneath me is ceramic tiling, and the walls behind me and to my front and right are solid white. However, to my left the wall seems to actually be made from link fence material, so that I can see through it. Getting up and peering through the 'wall', I notice that the building appears almost like a spiral staircase so that I can see the levels both below me and above me, and I also see that on the other side of my current level is a door, presumably leading to the stairwell. I run over and exit where I'm at through this door.

I'm shocked, however, when I enter to smell something rancid and to see a half-decomposed body resting on the stairwell leading up to the upper level. Upon hearing the noise of the door clambering shut behind me, the corpse actually rouses and groans before attempting to crawl in my direction. I immediately recognize it to be a zombie and sprint down the stairs. I try exiting through a lower door about three or four levels down, but this floor is slam packed full of zombies and I barely manage to bring the door back to a close before they can stick a limb through the opening. It has to be pulled for the door to open, so I appear to be relatively safe.

Still, I can hear moans all throughout the stairwell, so I know I have to get out. Suddenly a pole seems to be directly in the center of the also spiraling staircase (much like a firefighter's pole) so I hop the stair railing and take the metal pole all the way down to the bottom. I pass many zombies along the way, but seem to come out lucky as there aren't any on the bottom floor when I reach it. Now there is actually another door set off to the left that doesn't appear to re-enter the building and I go through it.

Where I appear next seems like the food court setup of a mall, though nothing is running and no people are there. It's also devoid of any tables, chairs, or things of that nature, and is mostly an empty expanse of concrete flooring other than the long-empty food vendors. On the far side I notice a still-running escalator leading down to a bottom floor and I get on it. It takes me to another door, but before I go through I look to my right to see a long, vertical window to the actual outside. It seems the building I've been in is located in a desert-area, as there are many sand dunes and cacti throughout the orange land. There seem to be zombie sparsely located, but not enough to concern me at that moment. So I ignore them and finally go through the door.

When I enter the feel to me to seemed to be set up much like a GameStop (or your typical more high-end gaming store). Instead of having a ton of games on sell, however, they had a bunch of older arcade games set up along the middle of the store, and the edges were actually stands of comics, manga, and other video game or television related items. On my right wall are four highly tinted doors leading to the outside. This time there are actually people inhabiting the store. There are some my age, but mostly some older than me. I actually recognize one of the people my age as my friend, Chris, and we're very happy to see each other. He explains that no one had known where I'd gone when everything went down, but that he and the people there had been living off food from the food court up until that point. However, he said everyone knew they were getting low on resources, so they actually had a plan on the roof of the part of the building they were in (apparently the door was out located near the food court to this machine) so that they could go search for more food.

About that time, everything begins to go even more downhill. Somehow zombies have managed to venture their way into the area I'm in from the outside, and the scene quickly becomes bloody and gruesome. People are being shred apart by the monsters as Chris grabs my hand and takes me back through the door and up the escalators to the food court.

[On a side note here, my dream randomly jumps to these two teenage boys running through a hospital room being chased by zombies. One of them has a sword and stops to start attacking their chasers and ultimately ends up sacrificing himself for the younger boy. Just as he's being overwhelmed, however, he gets to see the other boy open the door leading out and still be consumed by zombies residing just outside. Neither of them live through it.]

Chris and I make it to the building's roof, where it turns out the machine is actually a helicopter, not a plane. Neither of us have driven it before, but Chris designates me to try driving it. We hastily hop inside and I start pressing buttons in an attempt to make it work. Somehow I actually get the thing started and us lifted off, but just as we're leaving the building and screams behind us in exchange for hundreds of sand dunes, a problem quickly surfaces. The helicopter has actually been low on gas and the console urgently starts beeping at me. In my dream it almost immediately shuts down, sending us crashing back down to the ground. It all goes a bit blurry from here as I black out, and the next time I wake up is to Chris screaming. In our landing I managed to rip off the door from his side and crashed so that we were laying sideways with my side at the bottom and his at the top, and zombies are clawing inside and attacking Chris, though not quite able to drag him out. However, I know that they are still tearing at him and dread fills me at the oncoming change of my friend, but this is the point at which I wake up.

Soo - I gave it a stab and made around 20 intense RRCs in the daytime - and - tadaa!!
Every single time I go to the toilet for example and other triggers - found to my embarrassment, that I have loads of toilets in my dreams.
And I believe it worked almost specifically - with locking a door and myself in somewhere - that brought it over this time.
I had never done more than 8 of the things before - shame on me.

I was having a crazy dream - somebody was after me - a woman - and she wanted to infect me with a disease she had.
Forgot, why she was so angry.
And when I managed to lock myself into a room - I remembered to RC/felt somehow it was a dream.
Nose plug - like also done every time with the day RCs - worked perfectly.
But what came to my mind this time wasn't darts or TOTMs - but dutchraptors 5 lucid criteria.
I knew that I was dreaming - I remembered these criteria - and decided to break through a closed window.
First I touched the glass - and then I just pushed my lower arms through.
What happened when I broke through was, that this window behaved, as if it had been a thin plastic foil with some metal-foil mimicking a mirror then.
So then I was outside and hovering like 2 m over the ground - and wanted to make sure, I know there are no consequences to what I do.
There was a group of people standing about - and I took a long stick from a tree - and poked them.
I know..
At least I didn't care, what they thought of me. They looked a bit afraid, asked what that was all about - but didn't leave.
Well yeah - and I was on the one hand able to contemplate, that it constituted a failure not to do more - on the other hand - I couldn't bring myself to seriously hurt or kill somebody.
With that I lost lucidity.

But a bit later in the dream - again hiding from somebody in an enclosed space - once more lucid.
Again - nose plug - worked a treat.
Once I was out there and had roamed about a bit, though - a DC came along and told me I have to do this and that to solve a real-life problem - pretty convincingly - and I lost lucidity and went about doing what that person had said.

When I woke up - I found out, this dream had started only 2 hours and a bit after me falling asleep.
I put out the alarms then - but got to put them on earlier next night, I guess.

Morning of January 29, 2014. Wednesday.



It seems we are living in one of our old apartments, on Duffy Street in Bundaberg, but it is much bigger. There is one part where it seems that there are several doors on the way to our carport area. Someone had left some doors open and I am somewhat annoyed. The neighbor’s truck seems to be in our carport. It is supposedly cool in my dream, and I am somewhat concerned with wintry winds entering our place even though it is very hot here in real life.

Later, I have a portable nuclear missile launcher near the kitchen area. I do not know how this came about. Apparently I had placed it in a baby stroller and carted it home. Perhaps I thought it was an old air conditioner (or heater?) a business had set out in the alley for cleanup removal. It looks like a large square commercial humidifier yet is somehow armed with at least two missiles (or perhaps even four). I do not consider how absurd it would be for a nuclear missile to somehow fit inside a humidifier. I find myself with ideas on launching an attack on the other side of the world from the convenience of my home, perhaps three or four different main locations, if possible, to eliminate the most people.

I am not even sure why this decision has been reached, but it is partly because of bringing down the population, I think, for the benefit of all, but especially for the benefit of my descendents and certain “unspoiled” regions. It is not very logical, as such weapons destroy natural resources as well.

I set up the launch with some sort of small control pad that is separate and attached to the larger machine with a few wires. I watch something on a television screen, but am not sure if it is directly related to the missile launcher, but it is supposedly a targeted area, seemingly a Comic-Con event with William Shatner as the main speaker. There may be something about him running for office as well or at least something related to politics. (This is perhaps from posts relating to William Shatner in my Facebook news feed over the last few days in real life.)

Eventually I realize that it would probably not be a good idea to launch the missiles and kill millions of people.

However, this is only because I do not want holes in our ceiling and roof of our apartment (as my perspective grows in lucidity though I am not fully lucid), which might be pricey to repair as well as possibly cause water damage in our place if it rains, so I begin to shut down the launch sequence after making a mental note of it. At this point, it is very vivid (but not in full acknowledgment I am in a dream - otherwise I would likely have launched them just to see what would happen) and I puzzle somewhat over the idea of how missiles would otherwise go up and through the ceiling without incident. It does seem that they could at first, but there is a strange ambiguity in trying to work out the nature of the setting.

---

Morning of January 29, 2014. Wednesday. [Dual narrative format utilized Saturday, 29 July 2017.]



[Through the haze of sleep, random thoughts of the 1959 Japanese movie “The Manster” activate for no particular reason.]

My dream has a fictional backstory in which I am a military convict though I am not me but with a different role and a different past. I seem to be with a group of fellow escapees.

[Does a dream of “being someone else” really have any meaning? Or maybe it is moot, as the dream self is, by its very nature, not the conscious self. Does an actor only choose roles which are true to their nature and are exactly like them? No.]

I eventually decide to go off on my own after the rest of them choose to hide in a building that is not very easy to hide in in my opinion. They plan to stay for a week or two. They may stay within rooms that are accessed via other rooms that are somewhat difficult to go through. However, the authorities are already nearby in the same area, not even a full block away. This makes me wary of their choice to stay here.

[Dream characters are fickle. What is there even to hide from in a dream? The preconscious is sometimes a nuisance of course, especially in the last dream of a sleeping period, but then, waking is a biological necessity. No one should fear neural patterns that activate throughout the sleep cycle. No one should run from The Waker.]

The other prisoners think that I am wrong in leaving the building, because I would be more in the open, but it really does not seem problematic to me as such. I run near an area with mostly tall grass and railroad tracks as well as within residential areas. I only see two police cars and a few military vehicles going the opposite direction that I am. I mainly seem to be going north and northeast.

[I have freedom within my dream, as well as infinite potential. I am of my own mind. How could I not be free?]

There is the cliché of taking a role onstage, pretending to be a part of the play while I am being looked for, and in this case I am not discovered. The other actors do not seem to care about my intrusion.

[A reinduction factor activates as I think of my unconscious mind as being “underground” or “below”. It is there I can be “lower” in my dream state and “farther” from The Waker aka the preconscious.]

My situation partly resets and repeats as I end up going into an underground area, but which turns out to be some sort of clothing store where I end up in a fashion show preparation, pretending to be one of the male models. In fact, an unknown female seems to think I am the main model to be in the show. Even so, most of the other models do not even show up.

[This is interesting but one cannot hide from the dynamics of their conscious self forever, especially after enough physical vitality is reattained. Regardless of how opportunistic real life may be, the fictional dream self can be very stubborn in avoiding its natural fate of cessation.]

I choose to go into an unlocked house from an alley. This unfamiliar house is semi-dark inside. Suddenly, a younger version of my wife Zsuzsanna appears. I soon appear to be on a large bed (the head of it to the north) trying to work out what direction to go from here. Still, something seems different about the nature of who I am.

[Many threads of my conscious self have activated. I am no longer in my dream self’s original role. I start to remember my years of happiness with Zsuzsanna. The preconscious must be lurking nearby. The bed is present and reminding me I must have been sleeping all this time.]

I have strange sensations in my body, oriented somewhat to my left side. It is not like any form of physical hypnopompia that I can remember experiencing before. I hold onto Zsuzsanna and we start indulging in passion.

[Where is the preconscious? It is a mystery - or maybe he or she is gone since I have accepted that my real physical body is in bed asleep.]

A military convict, one of the men from the first part of my dream, emerges from my body from my left side. It is like the climatic scene from “The Manster”. We are now two people. The other male looks at me in a very puzzled manner. Zsuzsanna seemingly makes sounds like a panther, growling and hissing, though it is more as if these are sounds from elsewhere, perhaps from a real panther that remains unseen. Still, the other male has had enough and runs off. He does not need to wake me as I am already waking. I have a pleasurable feeling.

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