non-lucid

My dad is waiting outside to get revenge over something. Me my sister, my half sister, and my niece are all sitting around the kitchen table figuring out what to do, but I'm the only one worried. They're just worried about the chocolate milk bag I'm drinking from like those ones from school. I tell them I don't know where I got it, but it was warm and tasted off but I kept drinking it fro some reason. It will give me HP, so they get pissed that they don't have one in case they lose HP. I tell them I can just steal them some and that I stole them all the time.

I'm in this underground wet place, there's a latter on the wall that leads up. I'm this bald man, I'm wearing a clown mask that is covered in blood, and these three guys are holding guns but don't even need to shoot, me because I'm moving wrong and slamming my head on the floor and against the wall and the men laugh at me. It amuses them, and I'm making grunting noises and am drooling and foaming at the mouth. I try to use the wall to get up, but then they all step down on me with their boots on me to hold me down, so I scream and they laugh more, and then we hear load foot steps coming from down this hallway, his boots are stomping in metal floor. The three men who were fucking with me, ran silently in fear up the latter and leave me twitching and stuck on the floor. I don't know if the man is coming to help me or hurt me.

I'm in the front yard, it's sunny as fuck. There's these cracked brick walls everywhere that usually aren't. My dad is in the yard with me, and I'm trying to hide from him. I ducking with my back against a brick wall. I have aerial view and I see him sneaking over. I run from my hiding spot and he runs after me, I hop the front gate, and steal his gmc jimmy (an suv). I get into it an hope that he left his keys in the car. I find them still in the ignition. I start the car at the car doesn't go fast at first, I try to hurry away before he catches up and gets in the car, I drive and see him running behind me after the car, and I see him stop because the car finally accelerated at a decent speed. Then the jimmy turns into a shitty dirt bike,and it's going so fucking slow. I'm driving through cobble stone streets between houses, and through alleys, I go through a short cut trying to make difficult directions so he can't find while the whole time worried at how slow the bike is going. Then I go through this alley that leads to a driveway with this girl washing her car, I frighten her, but i tell her I'm just trying to get away from someone. Then she points me through some trees to a dirt path, I tell her my bike is slow, she put gas in my bike, and then my bike goes faster, and then I realized it also goes faster when I turn the throttle, I think how dumb that I was just rolling and using the throttle or putting gas. Nor the dirt bike is fast as fuck, and I go down that path the girl pointed me to and it lead straight to my house and my dad is still in the street, so I make a u-turn and he begins chasing me, he's faster now, but I'm faster to, he chases me longer this time, but I still get away.

Journal Entry non-lucid #22 Dream, non-dream (Comments)
Background:
Dream fragment 1 from 9:10pm-3:20am" Eventually we will die": I was with my little cousin, AL, and I did a reality check. I looked at my hands and looked back but I don't remember if I didn't follow through or it failed. After doing a reality check I got crowded by the dream and went for a ride. I walked around and these old folks were mugging me, giving me all sorts of ugly faces. My mom comes over and asks me to help out the old people. I said no they could help themselves. She looked at me in shock I responded we all get old eventually and we all will die. I thought about the consequence of karma, "this might happen to me when I get old", but my anger took the best of me. I didn't care.

- Also I was doing some math problem and this guy from my class comes over and moves my spot to sit. I didn't seem to mind in the dream though.
- I was also with these ladies and they led me to some hot looking vampire chicks.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I start seeing ghosts. First they scare me, but then I become half lucid and lose my fear. Then I establish contact with them. They want my help. They seek a man, indirectly responsible for their deaths. A rich business man, with no moral, responsible for the despair of so many and cause of death of some of them. They want me to help them find him and kill him. I help them find where he lives and I wait by the entrance of his mansion with a bunch of ghosts floating around. When the man arrives home, the ghosts follow him and scare the bejesus out the guy. That's when I come in with a gun, when he is already freaked out by all those scary ghosts. They keep him all curled up on the floor, crying like a baby and ask me to kill him. That's when I'm invaded by a sudden overwhelming compassion for the guy. I can't pull the trigger. The ghosts keep telling me all the horrors he is capable of and pushing me to do it, but I can't. I start crying like a baby, I feel so much compassion for everybody, I can't honestly feel any anger for any being, I am drowning in tears for all the evil people in the world, because they are so ignorant, they don't know what they are doing.
So I tell the ghosts that I won't kill him, that he deserves to go to jail and to learn about the impacts of his actions and to have the opportunity to redeem himself, but I can't kill him. The ghosts are not happy, but they also can't kill him.

An old man and a young man have just gone through a portal to another world, chasing someone who's stolen something. The old man asks around after him, but the description he gives, which would have been very unique in the world they're coming from, is almost useless in this one: they're looking for a man about 6 feet tall, dressed "like a warrior." The majority of the men they're talking to here are wearing armor, so that's not very helpful. Bit of a memory gap then, something involving a woman they know and the young man getting into trouble.

The young man's in jail, where another man from another world - not the one they were looking for - is being kept separate, a big blond Viking-looking guy in a large cell full of straw, who seems a little lost and confused. He's being questioned by the jailer, who's talking about that woman who came up earlier; she has a very long series of names, ending with Williams. She's married to someone very respectable, and she's denied that she knows the man in the cell. The jailer is telling him this to try to get him to admit that his story about knowing her was a lie and confess what's really going on, but the man in the cell is completely bewildered. The young man, on the other hand, is aware that there are three versions of Williams, the one that belongs to this world, the one from his, and the one that loves this man in the cell.

Williams arrives in the jail then - the young man believes she's the version from his world. She refers to the young man as Zachary, and she's carrying a fox - when I look at the fox, I'm aware that Zachary is a shapeshifter, and there's some connection to this particular fox. Williams goes to the man in the cell and she calls him "Tin Man," which is a sort of code name, and she's using it to reassure him of who she is and that she really knows him. Zachary believes that the Williams from his world has been posing as the version from this other guy's world in order to get some information out of him. She has him let out of the cell, and when he goes to her, their eyes - the fox's as well - start glowing green, and I have the feeling this means they're about to move between worlds. She looks to Zachary and says something apologetic, and he suddenly realizes that this is both his Williams and the one this guy loves, and that the fox is him - he's looking at their future.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

Just fragments for the rest of the day:

An intelligent species of birds that are dying out after losing all their females to some disaster, giving some other species advice in the hopes of avoiding that same disaster.

Walking down a street, four dancers appear in front of us, concealing an assassin among them.

Something to do with prison and hooded figures "finding their own way."

Describing the story of the King in Yellow to someone.

Been up for far too long to remember the details... ah, well.

There was a party going on, but I was part of a group that was going to attack this party because the girls throwing it were vampires. So we had to infiltrate the party, but the vampire girls knew we would attack them, except that they didn't know who we were.

They found out I was part of the group, so I had to run away. Angel, from Buffy, helped me get out of there. He was also part of my group and he did all he could to get me on a floor where nobody was. The building was also a mini town, it was weird, but we both lived on that floor. It was a bit like a hotel.

Then I left and I didn't exist anymore, I was just watching things happening. Angel met Kurt, from Glee, and Kurt asked Angel to take his virginity which Angel agreed to and suddenly they were in bed naked but Kurt was afraid of going all the way and Angel was really nice and told him that he shouldn't have sex for the first time just to get it done, he should do it cause he was in love with the person. So they hugged and Kurt thanked Angel for being nice.

Then, I was watching Sam and Rachel, also from Glee, have a sweet moment. They almost kissed and I was dream!flailing, since I love them together and would love to see them as a couple.

Then I woke up.

Morning of January 30, 2014. Thursday.



This dream is mostly uneventful but of some of the same nuances common to all dreams linked to certain types of long-term meditation. For some reason, whenever I use phrasing that relates to “universal” or various forms of happiness or health, I dream vividly about wrapped presents, often Christmas. In this case, though, I believe it is our oldest daughter’s birthday, yet somehow seemingly several years ago - and yet I also see a lot of Christmas decorations and sparkling wreaths (her birthday is nowhere near Christmas, though). There is an idea that we could share the birthday celebrations with my sister Marilyn in America (who has cancer now), but I am wondering about how much time would be involved. It is almost as if I am contemplating whether this is an “instantaneous” potential (in just suddenly going to America with everything in a matter of seconds) or somehow in “real time”, which would take days or weeks to plan and do (although I am not quite aware it is a dream). There are lots of wrapped presents in a few locations.

Later, the landlord shows up (regarding something relating to the grass and the lack of rain and such) and talks awhile in the kitchen, and after this, there are missing floorboards which I am concerned that our younger daughter may get too close to. There seem to be some subtle “practice scenes” at another level where she does fall through (but is uninjured), but not in more clearer dream time. In real life, it would be only a short fall if the boards were missing.

In my dream, there is some sort of strange series of conversations about letters written to my wife from a friend or business associate from the cat club from Maryborough. One scene (relating to the apparent disapproval of the friend or business associate) relates to how we did not date according to western ideas or so-called standards, which is not an issue with us as neither of us are mainstream and are not involved in mainstream culture other than my extensive teaching work which, however, never links to anything “fringe”-related (although I do warn my own children about New Age beliefs, pseudo-science, false systems, and virtually endless Doomsday propaganda which seem to be overwhelming these days, even now in 2014). Still, there is some sort of annoyance regarding different letters of how this or that “was not like the west” or something along those lines.

Apparently, though, I later slipped into a really strange state in the morning. My wife told me I was talking on and on (in my sleep) about the “letters not coming out in order” or some such, something about the alphabet and other patterns. What I remember is that the entire right side of the room seemed to be linked to some sort of accordion-bellows-like construct of alternating white and black waves of some sort (not sound - something else relating to a higher dimension). It was sort of tiring in trying to calculate something in my sleep and I had several false awakenings. I could not quite get my mind working relating to this “object” or “door”; area is one plane (at a time) only - in squared units, volume can only be realistically linked to three dimensions (in cubed units), not more, at least due to supposed morphing from a three-dimensional perspective in viewing a higher dimension - although you could get partial volume, I think, just as with surface area of sides of three-dimensional solids giving you some relevant data. Still, the black and white seemed “even” as if it was meant to be a starting point for more complex patterns, perhaps. Perhaps it had something to do with “folding space”, which seems a fair bet. I am getting frustrated trying to work out what the net (geometry meaning) would appear as or look like, along with other connections to whatever abstract nonsense is occurring.

Or maybe it was just some sort of surreal distortion of Venetian blinds and the highly irritating noise they make when slapping against the window frame every few minutes when a breeze picks up - when I am sleeping or trying to…Perhaps I am trying to calculate how to obliterate them completely…

I finally had my second lucid a few nights ago. It lasted a while (maybe as long as 15 minutes), though this was a result of sheer luck. Every few minutes I woke into a false awakening, in which I was in sleep paralysis, so then moved directly back into the same dream. Throughout I assumed I was waking up and falling back asleep.

It started with me waking into sleep paralysis. This could have been a false awakening, but I’m unsure. My body was vibrating. I relaxed, falling into the vibrations and inward spinning, intent on seeing where these lead me. Eventually I felt myself standing in darkness, and long streaks of purple light began zooming around me. I looked down at my hands (so opened my dream eyes?) and saw they were blurry. I also noticed part of a room with white walls had appeared. I pushed my fingers through my palm and almost shouted out in excitement that “I did it”. I calmed myself down, then rubbed my hands together and tried to shout “clarity”, but my voice broke. The scene remained mainly blurry.

My lucidity levels moved up and down throughout the dream, and this began straight away. I decided I wanted to have sex, so tried to imagine a woman. The darkness was now one of the walls of the room, and “inside” the silhouettes of four women appeared (the woman I tried to imagine actually turned up later). They walked into the room, materialising as I stood amazed. One of them, who appeared incredibly vivid, came up to me and for some reason I now thought she was real. We went through a door into another small room, sat on a bed and talked about my having managed to lucid dream. She was excited, congratulating me. Suddenly another woman jumped onto the bed and asked why we weren’t with everyone else, and I remembered these were dream characters and I wanted to have sex.

I went back into the main room and the other two women were sitting on a couch. I started having sex with one of them, then someone jumped onto the couch. I looked up and saw none other than myself. Again, my lucidity level dropped, and I thought he was real. I wondered why I was also in this dream.

I stood up, confused, and looked around the room. There was a young man sitting at the “darkness wall”. I sensed that he had evil eyes and sharp teeth, so, remembering I should face anything scary, I began walking up to him. I was waking up, though. The scene changed to 3rd person and I watched myself giving him a high five.

Then I woke into sleep paralysis. I lay thinking about the vivid woman and how my “visualisation skills had improved”, then followed the vibrations back into the same room.

There were now only three women sitting on the couch, all blurry. Deciding I didn‘t want to have sex again, I turned to the “darkness wall”. I jogged towards it, wanting to see if I could fly to another dreamscape, and jumped over the edge. Below me, shinning out in the darkness, was a medieval castle (which was incredibly vivid). I wanted to go further, though, so I kept flying. Which was pretty amazing; I could feel and hear wind, and I was flying beside what appeared to be the outlines of tall buildings. After about thirty seconds, I began to worry that I would never reach anywhere, so turned around. Just as I saw the room in the distance I woke into sleep paralysis.

This time I was afraid. Something was quietly growling beside my face. I reminded myself that I had no reason to be afraid and it disappeared. Multi-coloured lights began flashing in front of me and I went through them.

Back in the room either my lucidity level was low, or I was dreaming. Two DCs I thought were my parents told me they had hired a private investigator to find my wife. I believed what they were saying, even knowing the woman was the one I tried to imagine earlier. We walked into another room, with a city behind a large window, and met the private investigator. He told us he would do everything he could then walked through a door into the city. My parents began arguing with me, saying I had been rude to him. I told them it was possible he wouldn’t come back, because I hadn’t yet went through to the city to check with others whether he was reliable.

Woke into sleep paralysis. Followed the vibrations.

I was back with my “parents”, but now knew they were DCs. I decided to see my WL mum, so turned around to a door, said my mum was in the room, then opened it. I saw her standing inside, then suddenly the entire mood of the room changed to one of anguish. For some reason I knew she was in pain because she was only a DC(?!!). Disturbed, I closed the door, and the mood disappeared.

I woke into sleep paralysis, only this time it wore off within seconds. I sat up and tried to write what just happened in my dream journal, but my pen didn’t work. (I checked the paper afterwards in WL and there were no depressions.) I lay back down and either fell asleep, or sleep paralysis hit me. I don’t remember.

Back in the room with my “parents” and wife, but lost lucidity and started dreaming about visiting a museum with them.

I woke into my last false awakening. My dog came into my room and I got up and gave her a pet. Then I woke into WL.

Jan 29-30 2014

Took LD supplements (8mg of Galantamine and 500mg of Choline) and had longest dreams and LDs I've ever had. I preferred to DEILD and keep trying than write them down. These are written much later, so details weren't as clear and some dreams were forgotten altogether.

Why Am I Working at Scottsdale?
* *I was working at a store in Scottsdale, but it was outside, really dark outside, and weirdly futuristic. My manager asked me to help this girl out but I didn't even have socks on yet. I told her to wait one moment, and she was like trying to help me with my socks. I got them on, with my shoes, then help her. She wanted to download an app or get it working or something, so I help her and when it works she opens it and it's a game she wanted to play. My friend SK shows up with ST, just to say hi or something. I ask why she is all the way out in Scottsdale.

Finding an Attractive Girl (Lucid)
* *One dream I was lucid that I have is I'm looking for an attractive girl. I'm outside a house and decide to look there, but realize I should look on the second floor. Keeping in mind it's a dream, I jump to the second floor, but still have to grab on to the railing and hoist myself up.
* *As I land I want to go in the house, but only see windows and no door. I just tell myself I'll be able to go through the windows and then hop through them. I phase right through as if they weren't there. When I get in there, I realize there is a girl actually outside on the second story, so I hop back through the windows and go up to her. She comes up to greet me and she is extremely attractive, with dark hair, vibrant eyes, and around my age.
* *It's like she knows me because we're extremely comfortable around each other, and I'm finding myself turned on. I keep reality checking and stabilizing to make sure I don't get too excited and wake up. She still acts her own though as she doesn't just do whatever I ask, but acts how she wants to.

Creepy Worms, Super Kids, and Levitation (Lucid)
* *I was in a house with 3 other kids, and there were mosquito type things flying around that eventually turned into like flying maggots. We knew these were dangerous so we tried swatting them or something. I told one of them to get me strainers, with small netting, and it takes a minute to find one. Once one of the guys grabs one, I find another and take both to go start catching them. When I run back though, they're all gone.
* *It was slightly eerie, then the doorbell rings. Someone gets it and there is a girl who tells us there are giant works taking over the house. And we see there is a weird slimy material on the outside of his front door frame. We run outside and there is a man there who claims it was he who did this.
* *I run at him to attack him, but notice he is surround by little kids. I didn't care and keep running, but then one little kid gets this evil look on his face and runs at me. I freak out and run away, but this kid is faster and tackles me and is surprisingly strong. I realize all those kids are enhanced to protect him. The one who took me down goes back to the man.
* *I forget some details here but I realize I'm dreaming and am with those kids in a happier setting. We're playing a game of some sort, which is weird cuz it's like football but I'm running with otter pops and have to empty them out at the end zone. I'm running and only one girl is chasing me, but I get just close enough as she tackles me to empty it out.
* *As we're heading back I ask her what her powers are, she says speed and strength. Around here I wake up again and get back into the dream, and want to get my own powers. I try out levitation, but I know it will be slightly tricky to wrap my mind around the concept and believe I can do it. I decide to stand on top of a bench and just trust fall to the ground knowing I can stop myself. I do it and it works, and I swing back up to the top or the bench! Amazed, I try again, and it works a second time.
* *As I keep trying, I fail every now and then, but knew I could do it at that point. I tried floating up to a trampoline, and it half worked. I know I wake up again around this point as I go back in imagining the feel of the trampoline.
* *One of characters says at a point, "well now he's going to get aroused" or something similar, and I take it as a queue they're done doing things and I should do what I want to now. The girl nearest me is very attractive and my age, so I take her hand and bring her towards a pool. She is willing and follows me. Sexy time begins at the pool.

Lucid Fragments
* *I'm in a garage, lots of beat up cars in there, but I know they're supposed to be nice. It's still weird though because they're like glitched like a video game and are half stuck inside each other or a wall.

1.30.14

Last night, bed at midnight - 8am

Had lots of dreams. Remember only this one.

DR: I'm standing by some huts. Looking at a guy kneeling, holding an RPG on his shoulder. The front part of the weapon stayes aimed at the target, even as the back part moves when guy moves adjusting his position.

Based of the huts and color of the soil, I believe we are in rural Africa.

Hi fires, and now I have a first person view. My vision zooms in to the point of the impact. I clearly see the rocket approaching a house on the edge of the village, hidden from view in foliage.

The rocket hits the ground just feet from the first house. Soil there is black and coarse. Other places is orange-reddish. As it impacts, I clearly see the shockwave circle spreading. It doesn't explode and I say "It's a dud". Then fire shoots from the top of the rocker into the air. I think that's harmless and not how it's suppose to work.

I am walking on this path that is smooshed in-between a forest(to the south) and highway(to the north). It is a path I walk frequently in wl. It is springtime or summer. I am almost at the part where it opens back up to the road but there are a Bunch of desks and chairs ( it's as if there is a class in this open area). I sit in one of the desks and want to listen to the lecture. The teacher comes up to me and says that he knows me from somewhere. I am a bit ticked off as I say " ya because you were my teacher not but two months ago". I wait a bit and say it was for a different class. At this point I am waiting for him to invite me to listen to the lecture but he never does he just looks at me. One of his student walks up and say that he is new and doesn't know where to sit. I offer him my seat and leave.

I am sitting on a bus with my friend O. In the racks above the seats there is student luggage. When people grab their bags more appear( feels like the kind of ting that happens on an airport). Anyways I don't have any luggage but I don't want my friend to know so I think I will just take someone else's. It doesn't work though because everyone seems to be grabbing their bags. I feel a bit embarrassed. I look out the window and notice the bus is parked on a bridge. I can see the train station and I watch them as the arrive and leave. I am trying to work out the schedule because I think maybe I could sneak on the train.

My class arrive at the destination, I believe it was a camping trip but I am still unsure as nobody has actually told me where we are going. There is a big white building in the shape of a rectangle. The rooms have no doors and are occupied by another class. It is really hot but they are laying in their sleeping bags which I think is pretty disgusting. We are suppose to share these rooms but they are small and so the other class really hate us. I still don't have a room but everyone is gone at this point. I am wearing a bikini with a sweatshirt over top. I walk with C and I tell her we need to be sneaky. I lower myself slowly int the pool so that I barely make a ripple in the water. She just jumps in and I get really angry. I try to get out but it is an above ground pool so I am scared that if I jump out the side it will break. I get out and go into an underground building, which is where everyone is. A bunch of guys give me their skateboards. It's like I am a coatrack but for skateboards and I find it very difficult to carry them. I go to give them back and it talk with this really hyper guy. I asked if he has ADD and he says he doesn't I just really find him annoying though. We all leave to go back to the pool because there is going to be a performance by Christina Aguilera but like how I remember her when I was a kid( think genie is the bottle song).

1. [Non-Lucid]
I'm holding onto a tree trunk/wooden post (unsure), I'm pretty high up, randomly got excited and ends in...sigh...a sticky mess.

2. [Non-Lucid]
I'm watching a guy play a pinball game on a rather small tablet (I can see perfectly what hes playing), and he has zoomed in so he can barely see much of what's going on.
I comment saying that I play Pinball FX and that he should try it as it should fit nicely on his tablet, I said I play it on PC and I turn my monitor sideways to play it in portrait mode (I think I even made a rotation gesture with my hands).

Fragments:
Were now both in bed or something.

I'm standing at the bottom of my Grandma's driveway with my little sister and a few others that I feel but cannot see. I'm wearing a brightly colored dress that reaches above my knees. It's orange with white lace. I'm barefoot and swaying in place. Someone who I cannot see tells me that my niece needs my dress. I can feel that it's really important so I immediately take off my dress and hand it over to someone. I'm left standing there in nothing but a pair of white panties. I know that I'm naked but for some reason I don't really feel embarrassed about it. I noticed everyone starts walking up the driveway, so I cover my chest with my hands and walk up with everyone. I walk slowly. Once I reach the top, I walk into the little fenced area in front of Grandma's house and I see that my older sister, my little sister and my niece are standing there and looking at me. I then have the dress put back into my hands. I guess it's okay to put it back on now.

1.29.14 Wednesday

Getting up around 8am. Nap around 3;15. Was falling asleep, but something woke me up. Second attempt around 3:45 - 5-45 Phone woke me up.

DR:

I'm at work. We got a new boss (true in WL). She called me into her office. It's almost full of boxes and i try to squeeze by on the left side. She directs me to come over on the right side. There are some others in the office.