non-lucid

I'm standing at the top of a hill in my neighborhood. It's right outside of the pool parking lot and it's looking down to another hill that goes up into another neighborhood. There are a lot of other cars that crowd the lot and I assume there's a swim meet going on. Someone calls me to go there but the dream collapses.

Another fragment I'm going to a party that has already started. I drive up to this parking lot with several cars in it. I park it horizontal to a parking space and step out to see body guards walking past me. My friend Moo comes through the entrance door with a smoking device and starts to smoke it as he walks towards me. I walk up to him and grab it then smoke it as the adults are still walking by. We go in to see it's some world of warcraft style view with orcs killing each other.

I'm at a party with my friends Katharine and Katie and some guys from a different school. One of the guys is hitting on Katharine as I'm laying down talking to some girl I don't know. We decide to leave so as the girls walk into the next room the guys start whacking off as I'm watching. I remember there being an abnormal amount of semen coming out.

I had a dream that i got arrested last night. They let me go, but the guy left one handcuff on. I was trying to find out if any of my friends had an old key to unlock it.

Last night I said some mantras to try to induce a lucid dream. No such luck...I did have a quite an interesting dream though. I was in a very nice house with some important people - some kind of get together. Apparently Bill Cosby was head of the house. We were really getting along and he enjoyed my personality. He said "Come this way, I'd like to show you something." I followed him down a dark hallway and saw two large doors at the end of it. The doors were separated about an inch - enough for me to realize that there were women tied up to chairs in there! Before walking any closer I bolted out of the house. I ran down the street. It was cold out and I was in some everyday neighborhood with average looking houses. I ran up the stairs to one and banged on the door. A smaller blonde woman opened up and let me in. I said "I know this sounds crazy but someone down the street tried to attack me! I don't have a cell phone could I please use your phone!?" I remember not being able to get my words out clearly. She agreed to let me in. I sat down at the table. She had a man living with her. She was maybe in her late 20s and he looked early 40s. He was very nice. They seemed like friends. I told them both about everything going on.

Moments later we were joined by who was supposed to be the man who looked like Bill Cosby's wife. I was terrified when she entered the door. She was white, had hair a few inches above her shoulders. She was glowing and good looking for someone who was supposed to be in their 60s. We had dinner together and everything seemed fine. At the end of dinner Bill Cosby's wife said "You have it all wrong". My husband isn't the man who killed you and this is all your imagination. I panicked. Suddenly her glowing face turned back to normal which was the average face of someone her age and the woman in her 20s disappeared. She led me outside and showed me that I was laying on the ground and the man who killed me was the man I had just met in the house I ran to! How bizarre.

So just for the record, I've gotten lucid three times in the past four days. >.> But I haven't felt like recording them because the one from Tuesday just totally disappeared from memory, and the one from yesterday I remember basically nothing of either, but I remember all of the non-lucid bits both before and after it. I guess I might add that one in here.... But the first one, I want to say that nothing important happened. But I might just want that to be the case. ._. There's really no way to say for sure. The second one... I'm pretty certain that the only thing I did was phasing, which is of course nothing new for me. I remember experiencing it and everything, I just don't really remember the experience itself. Oh well, the one from last night very much made up for it....

Oh, and for the last few days I've been taking 400 mg of L-theanine a day, divided into two doses of 200 mg with one in the morning and one in the late afternoon or early evening, usually.

Yesterday

#1 - But why are we in a skyscraper to begin with? [Non-Lucid]

I was in some school class in a huge skyscraper in some downtown area, and there were random people I graduated from high school with, this girl who sits behind me in my speech class I'm taking this semester at college, and my parents, for some reason. There was a massive storm coming our way with tornadoes visible through the windows and everything, and I was holding my mom's hand as we were all scared. There's a flashforward and things get hazy, but I remember seeing people evacuate but thinking that it wasn't on the same day but it was the same "windy season"....

#2 - Who would build a bathroom like this!? >_< [DILD]

The details of this have gotten hazier since I didn't care to write it down at first, but there was some gigantic computer mouse whose cord stretched all the way across some city streets, and it got pulled away and I tried to chase it but lost track of it. I remember seeing my old high school friend AB's car, but then things get blurry.... This is around where I became lucid and phased but then my next memory picks again at the non-lucid point. :T I was spending the night somewhere with AB, M, and these guys J and Ma who I met through M. The next morning, I woke up and started blasting some really heavy club music and M got excited, and her boyfriend D, who's suddenly there, turns to me and says something like "We can catch up later." I then realized that I needed to go change my clothes so I went to the bathroom to do so, but there were big windows all over the door so it was very easy to see inside. Everyone was oriented in the direction of the windows, but just not looking directly into them, but of course it was making me very uncomfortable at the thought of starting to change. J was saying maybe they should turn in a different direction, but then I woke up.

Today

Last night, I took 250 mg of choline bitartrate immediately before going to bed. I'm fairly certain this had an effect, particularly on the lucid.

#1 - This would have been great to become lucid for!! [Non-Lucid]

I was playing some bizarre new PSP game the whole time, and there actually was something going on in the rest of the dream too but I pretty much missed it all because I was so focused on playing, so I don't really remember the plot anymore. What I remember about the game was that it had a setup where you had a team of playable characters that reminded me of the structure of NIS games, but it was mixed with a simulated life raising element like chao from the Sonic Adventure and Sonic Advance games, and the actual creature and level designs were sort of Pikmin-like. I really wish I could've played more of it because it seemed really interesting, but that's about all I can recall of it, and I remember walking up stairs or something maybe to see my speech professor... but no more solid details than that.

I woke up from this dream with a very strong headache. I'm fairly certain that my head was smashed into this part of the backboard of my bed and that's what caused it, because the pain slowly went away in a way that I can only relate to when you wake up with a numb arm and it slowly returns to normal, but it was my first time having that type of thing happen so I can only guess. But I really hope that that's what happened because otherwise it would mean I woke up with a severe unexplained headache. >___>

#2 - I could've told them this would happen... somehow. [Non-Lucid]

I was in a high school PE class (though I think the setting might actually have been my elementary school, sort of?) with O and people kept trying to give him balls that corresponded to different sports, but I remember equating these to video game weapons in my mind and thinking that they were doing it wrong because they didn't realize that "his growth charts are unique". Eventually he decided to play what I think was registered as either baseball or golf... but it's really just a bunch of balls bouncing around and people chasing after them with no clear goals. He makes the "winning play" I believe when at least one of the teams is "frozen" at 23 seconds left on the timer, but it switches to this weird TV view for it that only shows symbols to represent the player. He was excited that they run, but due to the odd way I saw it play out I asked him for verification that he actually was the reason they won, claiming that "they only showed the overhead", or some such nonsense. Suddenly he got all depressed at the thought because he didn't realize that he had won it, he thought he was just a part of it, so we asked some other guy and he said that that was the case. Suddenly O sank into despair, and this guy PR who I've known since elementary school tries to ask him what's wrong and cheer him up or something, but he proclaims that he may never play that sport again, and then walks out of the gym all dejected as class ends. On the way out I was trying to think of a way to explain his reaction to PR, but I couldn't really think of a good way to phrase it before I woke up.

#3 - I think it might have been inspired by Buffy? [DILD]

This was an odd driving dream, and I'm fairly certain I've had something like this happen before.... Basically, I was driving home in the snow at night, and I was stuck driving from the back seat where there was an accelerator but no breaks. As a result, I was forced to drive very slowly and frequently take my foot off the gas so that I wouldn't gain too much momentum. I have no idea why I didn't think to just climb up to the front seat, but I know that there was a car driving behind me too, so maybe I just didn't want to mess with the situation and cause any trouble. We came over this bridge in my neighborhood, and then when I turned on to my street it was suddenly daytime. Somehow I managed to go too far beyond my house though, and then this car started coming down the street in the other direction right for me, and I perceived someone else as being in the car with me at this point too, but I don't recall ever seeing anyone.... I started thinking "shit shit shit" because I couldn't stop the car or change the direction it was going in very easily, and then we ended up headbutting the other car. This is all unbelievably vivid... perhaps a mix of the supplements and the adrenaline boost? I started trying to rationalize this situation because I didn't want to have to actually be in a car crash again, and then I thought to myself "Wait, could this be a dream? This whole thing is pretty odd...." I climbed into the front seat and by then I had a feel for my state of mind and was sure of it, so I became lucid.

At this point I looked around at the street and the sky and just stared. This was one of those lucids that leaves you completely in awe from start to finish as you repeatedly tell yourself "There's no way a dream could be this real." As I looked over the neighborhood, there was no distribution of focus as in a regular dream, it was all fully rendered as a single image. It seemed exactly as if I was seeing it in waking life in every way, minus the snow. I ended up driving back down to where my house was (and I think it was using my first car which is long gone), and when I got there my house was pretty different. It was tall and thin, spanning multiple floors, whereas the real one has only one floor and is much more wide than tall. There were also large windows spanning most of the front face, and it had some kind of Greek-esque architectural design for what looked almost like a tomb on the ground floor, and it was covered in plant vines and everything. There was some large inscription at the top of this part, which was totally made out of stone, and I didn't get a good look at all of it but I do remember seeing the word "SOUL" in large print. Again, this was all extremely vivid. I wanted to go inside and check it out, as the front door was still right there where it should have been in the middle of that framework, but about that time I started feeling a headache again and woke up.

*sigh* That would've been cool to explore. That headache, too... not the real one, but this one in the lucid. It felt like the ones I get when I smoke too much or the last few times I tripped. I'm really starting to wonder if it's hippocampal in origin, and if the choline brought it out.... I guess this break from smoking will probably help in more ways than I thought, because it's going to be annoying if that headache keeps making an appearance in lucids. :/ Hopefully it was just a one-time thing though, and overall I still consider this dream very successful.

I remember in this non-lucid dream fragment realizing that in dreams it matters less what my mind finds objectionable, but it matters mor that My mind still have issues with the dream.

Recall from today's naps, some success, also not much of non-lucid recall due to me trying to DEILD after waking up from non-lucid. Also wow, i did successful WILD in a dream(which counts as DILD i guess?).

Nap #1:

I was in game that looked similar to quake 4 and was shooting some stroggs with my hyberblaster, cleaning room after the room. Then there was very dark passage where i got ambushed. Then everything went black and i spontaneously go lucid, i try to imagine different location and teleport to it, but there's no success, i try a few times but i am still stuck in darkness. Shortly i feel something touching me and 'hugging' me, no clue what it is. I try to teleport again but no dice. After a bit i see some white/cyan wall for an split second and then i wake up the room is different and the lamps are broken so i realized that i am still dreaming, but i can't move for some reason. Shortly dream fades out.

Nap #2:

Can't recall much about this one, i recall finding out that one of the forums that i was previously on, which expired, has been restored and functioning also there were some troll users getting banned on it. Later i was browsing some other forum that was apparently about Trigonometry Wars shmup, in one of the threads the author was having some problem with a different game he was making. Later i noticed that my PC was overheating.

Nap #3:

I was home and there was major revamp of furniture positioning, people were annoying me and PC was loading extremely slow due to some problem. I got tired of trying to fix everything and ended up just lying in my bed, trying to WILD...
I awakened in my bed and i know i am in a dream, i take off headphones and i can still hear binaurals, that confirms it. I get up from the bed and while getting up i am concentrating on touching it with hands for stabilization, sound of binaurals shortly fades out as well. I am looking at the room and it is pretty accurate to my room in waking life, also it is daytime. I go to the balcony door and on the way i am repeating 'I am dreaming' a few times for additional lucidity and stability. I started ramming the door, had to do it twice like i did in the other lucid dream, though this time it just opened instead of breaking, i am fine with it since i want to do something more major for TOTM anyways.
As soon as i get to balcony i take off, i immediately feel the wings, and this time i am better prepared for it. It's still not easy though, i start flying in circles for a bit and then far to the right(if facing balcony from outside), being unable to get higher. I note that the building is very long and as much as i was in flight, it didn't ended. I finally figure out the movements and start getting higher, my target is the roof, since i need a good big open place. I reach it in a bit but it is very small somehow, i take off again searching for different roof.
Shortly i reach some red brick building, i note that my flight is pretty stable now. The roof is sloped, again not fitting for my goal, but i find decently open plaza-like area down below near this building. I also try taking a look at wings, but for some reason the angle at which i can rotate head is rather small. I land and look around, there are people walking around this plaza but i don't care. I start thinking up the way to reach my goal: transformation into a dragon, and i decide to try just concentrating, imagining transformation and shouting 'Dragon form!'. I try it for the first time, no success. Then second time, still not working. Then i try for the third time! I feel my right hand becoming different, i look at it and it's mostly normal but slightly bigger and clawed looking, it becomes normal shortly. I become more confident and attempted for the fourth time. I concentrated much more as well and i got it, my hands became clawed and black scales appeared all over them, but a second later, dream abruptly ends.
I woke up in my room and dad was annoying me about something, so i forget to do reality check, then shortly i wake up again, this time properly.

Worth noting it was my longest lucid up to date as well.

So I had some fragment involving the game Borderlands 2. Not sure if I was playing it or warped into the game whereas I was actually experiencing things as the character would in the game, or just dreaming about playing it. (Sometimes when I dream about video games, I get warped into the game and experience things as the character would.)
I was basically in this concrete alleyway with chain link fences set up everywhere. There were various enemies from the game attacking me, and I was progressively switching out weapons experimenting and trying to figure out what was the most powerful. Eventually, I fought my way out into a more natural looking area and was climbing up this hill covered in forest.
The hill seemed to be getting progressively steeper as I climbed up and there was no path. Eventually I began sliding and the soil on the hill wasn't giving me any traction, so I couldn't reach the top. I tried grabbing onto some of the tree roots (because the hill was covered in a dense forest) but it did not really seem to help.

I was doing something with my teacher from my tech school. He was giving me an art lesson and told me that he was drawing the face of his sister with a marker. (I don't think he has a sister in real life though.) Also, we were in the kitchen dining area of my own house, that was kind of weird.
He told me that I had to draw exactly what he drew, and that I was not allowed to lift my maker off the page, nor was I allowed to look at my page. He started drawing, and I tried to follow him as best I could while abiding by the rules.
When we had finished, he told me to look at the face I had drawn. It was surprisingly correct given the challenge in drawing it. The nose looked large and distorted, and the face looked very masculine. (Keeping in mind we were drawing a female.)
His face looked somewhat distorted. The one that he had drawn has large poofy lips and ears. In both of our drawings the hair looked exceptionally bad.

I had some dream that my dad had picked me up from school. He picked me up in this full size green van that my family owned when I was a kid.
Apparently he wanted to have some kind of father-son bonding experience with me, because he said that we were going to the corner store to get some junk food. Then we were going on a father son fishing and camping trip.
We drove to a corner store that I was not familiar with. The building was a small strip of stores with this kind of spanish style construction, the kind with stucco walls ceramic roofing tiles that are the color of plant pots.
But my dad drove the van in through the double doors and pulled into the shop. The shop was just big enough for the van to fit inside without hitting any of the shelves. The store clerk, who was a young woman, got really angry with my dad for driving his van into the store.
My dad reached out of the window and into the refrigerator and took a bottle of Gatorade. He wrote the word "ID" on it in black sharpee. He grabbed another one, a different flavor, and wrote the word "EGO" on it. I was expecting him to take a third bottle and write "SUPEREGO" but rather I woke up from the dream at that point.

I do not understand what any of my dreams mean right now. Its just a blur.

Had some problems waking up again, thus low recall.

I recall being indoors in some dark-ish place and solving some sort of block puzzle.

I was preparing for school. I for some reason thought I had some time left (which I regularly don't), and started watching a program. After a while I realize I should be preparing again and checked the time. It was 8:08 then, which was 3 minutes after I had to leave. A while later I check again and it's 8:05. I realized I wasn't holding my watch correctly when I last checked. I started doing my hair (even though I was already late), and then the dream ends. I remember looking for my wallet as well sometime.

~Date:3-7-13
~Total sleep: 9 hours
~Daytime Techniques: RC’s
~Lucid Techniques: Focusing on recall before I try any.
~Recall Techniques: ”I will recall every detail of my dreams”
~Fell Asleep: 10:00
~Dream Title: 2012 Apocalypse

~Dream:
My dad and I are looking for supplies. The sky is dark red and somehow I know Atlanta is burning. Everything has an apocalyptic feel, and there are not many people around. We drive to a certain plaza under a bridge (I know this place IWL; It is near my house) and Dad sees a BBQ restaurant. He HAS to stop and get some BBQ so I wait and guard the truck. (I can’t remember if I had a weapon or not.) some guy in a hood starts spraypainting a face on the general store next to the restaurant. I tell him that he is doing it all wrong, but he ignores me. Memory gap and it is the next day. The sky is a bit brighter. We are at the same plaza, but the graffiti has been cleaned off the store. I go in alone, and the graffiti guy is talking to the store owner. He must have cleaned everything up, because they seem to be on good terms. He points at me and says something, then exits through a back door. The owner is a short Indian lady. She seems to think I am a threat, because she starts stalking me through the store. She is failing though, because she is whistling and tiptoeing dramatically. I wait around a corner and when she comes around I grab her and tell her how obvious she is being. Then I walk over to the checkout lanes where my sister is standing. She tells me that it is 2012 and, because everyone expected the world to end, they are making it happen by panicking. She then says that, on the bright side, the price of chocolate has gone way down. She hands me a box. Inside is a huge block of chocolate with a section scooped out that, according to the box, is “perfect for holding M&Ms.” Here the dream ends.

~Notes: I have been working on recall until I can remember at least a dream a night. Then I will work on lucidity. This was a very vivid dream. I wish I had become lucid. This would have been a fun world to explore. Maybe I will go back to it later.

~Awake: ??
~Vividness: 7 (scale of 1-15, 10 is waking life vividness)
~Awareness: 5 (1-10; or lucid)
~Emotions: excitement, peace (I have had dreams before where there was an apocalypse like feel to the world, and I really like how peaceful everything feels.)

03.07.2013

Dillon the Weird (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am in a dark room that isn't entirely part of our normal dimension. A few other people are there with me, including a creepy kid named Dillon who I've apparently had some issues with in the past.

I am leafing through a small notebook that I've stolen from Dillion. He is trying to take it back from me, so I'm distracted as I am both holding him back and reading the notebook. There is a strange globular thing on one of the pages that is similar to a small heart. I squeeze the little heart a few times to see if anything happens. At the bottom of the page, red writing appears that says "5 New Deaths."

Dillon laughs at me. "You just killed five people!" he says.

"What!?" I shriek. Another person in the room explains to me that this is Dillon's notebook of death. I decide to keep it away from him so that he can't kill anymore people with it.

Later, I am back in the normal plane of existence, walking through a parking lot with my dad. I suddenly get the feeling that Dillon is nearby. "Better be on the look out," I tell my dad. "This creepy kid is going to try to attack me."

I pull the notebook from my back pocket and try to put it in my jacket pocket. It gets caught on the material, though, and Dillon shows up just as I'm struggling with it. "Give me back my notebook!" he yells at me, lunging forward.

My dad grabs him and begins shaking him violently around. Dillon goes invisible and manages to run off.

"You should send more of your dream characters after me!" my dad laughs. "I'll kick their asses, no problem."

I think that he wouldn't be so cocky if he ran into my dream guide. It would take a lot more than shaking him about to defeat *him.*

Random lucid moment behind me, I continue into the store. I'm supposed to be looking for specific items that represent certain people that I know who are part of some kind of creepy cult conspiracy. On the highest shelf in the store, I see some My Little Pony cloaks (of all things.) I know that this is the item that is supposed to represent Bryan, leader of the cult and a hugy brony.

I gracefully jump onto the shelf and sit there, examining the cloaks. Though I wouldn't call myself a brony, I have watched MLP as a kind of guilty pleasure. I absentmindedly sing the theme as I'm looking at the cloaks. Suddenly, I notice someone is singing along with me. It's Dillon.

"You watch My Little Pony?" I ask him, surprised.

"Yeah," he admits.

This sparks a conversation, and I learn that he is not as evil as I had thought. He is actually really sweet and sensitive.

Only very fragmented fragment:

I remember this was more Of a conceptual dream. Communism compared to other political system. I don't remember how it was compared, what the criteria for comparison were, but it was a quantitative comparison - I remember lots of numbers.

Then there was something about a bird cage. Could be fragment of same dream or another one.

Entering a living room
Seeing groups of people, feeling like some of them were from high school
Partially heard a girl from high school and sat next to her. She may have walked across the room. Cannot remember whether i went across the room before she did, or afterwards.
Saw a group of people watching "The Breakfast club", Saw Molly Ringwald (Actress), heard the theme song "Don't you forget about me"
Somwhere in there, i left the room, onto a porch or deck with long stairs going down. Seeing a somewhat suburban type neighborhood.
Remember seeing a group of people talking or just standing near the house i was in. It seemed smaller from the outside. Maybe talking about the house or hanging out in the house.
May have seen my sister by the door with a group of people. The door was or looked partially open. There were a kind of cream colored carpeted stairs. On those stairs was a dog with blond fur.
There was another dog running across the road. It seemed like a neighborly environment.
I entered the house again. This time it was the kitchen and it was somewhat dark with the lights turned off. Saw a area with leftover mexican food or food that appeared like Mexican food.
Somewhere in that time, i saw or heard my sister and ended up arguing about stating the obvious or something. Cannot quite remember what else happened.

I dreamed about how successful I am at fishing and at dreaming. My mind may be new to this hobby but do I expect success right away?

Dream recall from non-lucid naps, dunno why my recall from naps is so fragmented recently. Also yay for somewhat successful DEILD.

Dream 1(fragment):

I recall being home, near exit door, arguing about something with family and then eating huge amount of honey mixed with something else.

I woke up with closed eyes after that dream and decided to try DEILD. After a while of not-moving and trying to imagine last scene from the dream i heard weird noise and some dream scene started 'spinning' into view, i recalled scene from the end of previous dream again and now the proper scene was 'spinning' into view. I was in place but dream scene itself was frozen in place and it was hard to move, then it faded out shortly.

Dream 2(fragments):

There was weird 1-2 year old child that i have found at home.
Then later there was something about two people trying to fish out the dragon out of some river. Suddenly i was one of them and there was some trick that to fish out the dragon it was needed to get fish and prepare it in some specific way. We were both failing and then dragon appeared from the river and just flied away. It was green chinese dragon.
Then i was myself again and i was returning that child to some demon family he was from apparently. They looked like normal humans except their skin color was grey. We then talked about why people hate them, and that dragon was there as well. Shortly we were all watching some cartoon about some lumberjack bears or something.