non-lucid

Last night wasn't a good one... The power was gone, so I ended up staying up until 1:30AM watching a BBC series about Auschwitz... and then I went to bed. I usually fall asleep later, so no sleep pattern...

About my dreams, I don't remember them. I know that I may have dreamed something about Auschwitz, but not about the camp itself. More like the government has decided to get some tips from Hitler and bring back the horror of concentration camps.

What I do remember is that I was on a boat, watching somebody. It was windy and raining, but I just stood there. Then I got off the boat, walked a bit and I think I was at uni, but I could be wrong. All I know is that I was going to have lunch and my cousin who lives in Germany was there too. We made fun of the food, cause my mum was there and she wants me to lose weight, so my cousin and I were like "here, three grains of rice for you!"

After that, I was with another cousin of mine and my mum was talking about how she would hit me, she said she wouldn't hit me on the face, so people would never know what she was doing to me. I replied that I always show people my arms (when my mum is mad, she hits me on the arms and uses her nails to hurt me), so everybody knows what she does.

And I think that's all I remember. I think the fact that I've been being woken up by my parents shouting at me to get up and take my dog out is making it difficult. Whenever I wake up with loud noises and then I have to get up and do something, I can barely remember my dreams.

It started out that there were arguments erupting around where I was, so I took a step back and decided to take a walk to clear my head. (I seemed to be fully in control at the point, because I'd tend to step away rather than get involved in any arguments for fear of making things worse.) I stepped along my street, when this old woman was coming towards me from her drive. Her hands were up, like she was going to grab me. I'd had a dream with her similarly, where she took me into her home and tried to cut me with a sharp knife. So my instincts kicked in, and I naturally didn't want to be near her. I closed my eyes, wishing to be far away from her.

When I opened them, I was walking back along a path. That lady was nowhere to be seen. I got to the top of the hill where I began to walk along another street. There was no one else around, but to me that didn't seem strange at all. After all, the street where I live isn't that busy usually anyway. All of a sudden a stranger appeared behind me. I don't remember much about how he looked. However, I remember he had dark brown hair. For some reason it really stuck out to me. He grabbed me, putting me over his shoulder and dragged me back the way I'd come. The street was now so unfamiliar though, and I recognised no one at all.

When we came to a stop, there was a giant stand. He brought me over to it, putting me down. I remember there were people staring up at me, but then I woke.

I was sitting in the second row of a memorial of some kind. My (real life) GF was sitting at my right side. A young black male dressed formally, about age 12 or 13, was pacing back and forth in a large auditorium filled with rows of people. He was giving a sermon about his Dad's military service.

I don't recall the wording of what he said. I made a sly remark to my GF under my breath. We both chuckled, and looking behind me: I noticed a young woman crying. There were other faces who looked very sad. I started to realize the boys Dad must be dead...

He paused to ask the crowd a few questions about people who choose to give their lives to serve in the military. I instantly chimed in and said (exact quote):

"What about forgiveness?" -My voice cracked with the start of crying.

"Because we have to forgive ourselves if we choose to fight and to kill." -Some people burst into tears around me. I immediately fell apart sobbing too.

-Then I woke up. I felt perfectly calm, well rested, and not the least bit sad. Although when I told my Mother about this dream, she shed a tear on the spot. No one in my immediate family/friends has been in the military.

I enter Gs room with a box. Inside is a remote controlled car that I'm excited about because I had this red car sometime long ago. I start playing with it. The remote starts to controll toospick. I make him move around and wonder how this is working. I look at G and he takes off his hat revealing a head full of long curly hair. I hear father coming and I wonder how his gona react I walk over to the window I can't believe g did that and how? So fast. I do a reality check and get really excited that I'm finally lucid again but the dream begins to fade. I try to not move but I keep feeling my body in bed and eventually wake up

Writing this rather late at night. This is for the happenings of last night, and not this night.

I remember two dreams last night

Dream 1.
I am in a cliche jungle-esque area. I remember in this setting, I was not myself but instead placed in this dream as a man in his late twenties. I had brown hair and a suit on.
I believe I was a part of a race, or some sort of competition, as well, I believe I was partially lucid for part of the dream, as I remember at a point in the dream, I heard a kid, he's about 13-15, taunting me, he keeps yelling "I'm ahead of you, you can't catch me" He's near a log that you have to balance on to get across, and on his right side, a ladder, in case you were to follow off, I assume. So, when hearing this taunting, I specifically remember saying " ah yeah? We'll just see about that" By now my appearance has changed to me being my normal self, 16 year old self I usually see when day-dreaming.
So, considering there were plenty of rather high hills in front of me, making it tricky to get through this area, unless you're falling the specific path laid out for you. So, with my knowledge of my dream abilities, I made a very straight path, literally cutting through these hills, to the area where the kid was. I remember the kids face as a dumb founded, awestruck look.

Anyways, a little later on in the dream I'm in a small camp with a very quickly set up tent, with a large stump near it, a table with things to cook and drink and a fire in the middle, over top is the canopy of the trees. I'm trying to connect to the internet, while having a ipod playing music next to me. The internet connection is a little fuzzy but it all seems well, I'm on a wierd video, and then the internet, and my music start to glitch up at the exact same time.

I try fixing the internet connection, yet every time it glitches up, the computer takes me to a website. I still remember it very clearly. The website was about a girl who had died,. I wording was black on a white background for half the page,while the other half, the right side, was covered in red with creepy pictures of a girl stuck in barbed wire, biting down on it, shadows covering her eyes, and her scowling at the viewer of the page.
I started joking about how this girl was trying to haunt me and then my music started changing to songs named "Connect," "help", and one I couldn't read, even going so far as thinking in the dream " how strange, I can't seem to read the name."


Now, here's where the second dream starts. You see, while I was viewing the webpage, it was almost like one of those scenes in a movie where they zoom in on a screen, zoom out, and you're in a completely different place.
I'm now in my house, in our living room on the computer. The kitchen is attached to the living room, and in the living room, my brother is talking with his girlfriend on the phone, my parents over with him as well. There was a blizzard outside and my brother seems to be talking to his girlfriend about driving to her cabin. He then says something to the likes of "You know, I can never forget when a signal is being interfered."
With that, every light turns off, even my computer, the only exception being a single light over our kitchen table. The T.V. blinks on and off three times then even the kitchen light goes off.

Of course, since I still have memories of my last dream, I kind of freak out, thinking a ghost is truly going to kill me. After a few seconds, I force myself to steady my breathing and close my eyes to help myself calm down. It was eerily silent, I believe I forgot to keep the people in the kitchen there in my dream and I was now alone. After about 5 seconds, I tell myself I tell myself in my dream " Okay, now you just have to open your eyes" and of course, with this, I actually opened my real eyes, rather widely too. I did a reality check and I did find out that yes, I was actually awake.
So my dream self woke my real self up. First time this has happened in a very long time.

01/31/12

Game Analysis 101
I am in school, it seems to be a game design class. Everyone is talking about some video games and comparing them. I am paying some attention, but I feel quite tired and I also feel like falling asleep. My eyelids are heavy and I close them just enough to rest them. I drift to sleep, and then I get poked by the person next to me. I look and I see that my ex-boyfriend is in the class with me, and he has poked me to wake me up. I stay awake long enough to hear everyone is now discussing Oblivion, and how it compares to Fallout 3. The subject of Skyrim comes up as the instructor asks if anyone has played that and how it compares. James says all of them blow ass. I comment he wouldn’t know a good game if it bit him. He gives me a strange look, maybe says something, but I am again drifting off to sleep. My eyes close and then I wake up.

Cats!
I am in a place I don’t recognize, it is a house, and it is a big one. I have no thought that I’m not supposed to be there, I am just wandering around and exploring. I enter a bedroom and see an adorable tabby cat on the bed. How cute! I turn to leave the bedroom and I almost trip over a tortie cat right behind me. Wow… where did you come from? I pat the kitty and head down the hall towards the bathroom. In the bathroom I find there is no human toilet, but there are four cat pans lined against the far wall. Am I supposed to use the cat pan? Even if I wanted to, they are all occupied. There is a cat doing business in each one and also three more cats patiently waiting in line. Wow… 7 more cats! I pat the last one in line and head out to find a human bathroom. I don’t find another bathroom, but I find my way back to the living room. I go to sit on the couch but I am warded off by a hiss. I almost sat on a cat! I look and see there are seven cats crowded onto the seat of the couch, all lying around each other. There are three more cats on the back of the couch and a cat on each arm. 12 more cats! I mentally count cats and realize I have found 21 cats so far. I turn from the couch and almost fall on my face as I realize I am about to step on a cat’s tail and I move awkwardly to avoid doing that. 22 cats… I wake up with a single cat purring beside me.

I'm sitting in an airplane, heading to another country. We approach the airport, and there seem to be some clouds and trees. Suddenly, I feel the plane lurching downward, thinking we're going to crash. Yet the plane manages to escape within a few metres of the ground. We land slowly, and prepare to get out of the plane.

Flashback. Here, I'm drinking hawthorn nectar, but it's a facade.

Suddenly, I'm back home. It's as if I never boarded the plane.

My dad came to visit from Cali and went shipping with me at b square. He out on a mini dress thing and asked what I though. Adam said he liked it and I said it looked bad. He said it was comfy and bought it. My taillights were out and my dad tried to help me fix it. I went home and heard Leo was back with his mom and that he hated it here and wanted to go back to Russia. I called his moms house and she asked what I thought. I said he should do what makes him happy and that he is probably used to Russia now. She didn't like that and said to call later I knew she didnt want me to talk to him because I would tell him to go back. I called again and she said they left. I ran out of the house. It was snowing and blizzarding. I ran full speed. I had a long ways to go but didn't care. I stopped at some outside mall thing to get a hotdog. Before this I peed a lot in front of some guy on my balcony.*

Woke up abruptly because of the end of the dream, but it kinda killed the recall....had at least two dreams....don't remember much from the first.

I remember being at some place...like a mall or something with Oneironaut, but I was about to take off. Some black girl in a grey skirt and heels with long curly hair approached me and asked if I saw him. I said yeah, but I don't know where he's at. Apparently she wanted me to hook her up with him, and she was asking how often I saw him. I obviously had a hard time figuring that out, because I don't hang with the guy. Something else happens, and I'm meeting up with Limitless to eat dinner. We're going to some underground hole in the wall type place because both of us were bored. The guy who was serving us was flirting with her hard, and she didn't care. I was just thinking "damn I gotta tell TheUnknown about this".

from here I think i woke up

I'm in what should be the kitchen of that building talking with a bunch of people, and everyone is discussing who's been there the longest. One guy has been there since 06 when we thought he was there longer. They were also asking me if I knew anyone else who could work there. (I think this was sort of like my warehouse job...but I didn't recognize anyone).

Recall get's jacked up here

I'm near a lake, and everything looks cartoonish. There's an alligator chasing some people so fast that the water in that area dries up. All of a sudden a leaf falls out of the sky, and I now have the Tanooki suit. Not much room to run around here, so I decided to run in the improvised road way from the now dry land. I heard the max speed noise and jumped up, and I could feel my tail propelling me up skyward. Down below I could see the water returning in the lake, and the alligator as well. As I floated towards the ground, he was shadowing my path to get his next meal. I stopped my tail, and dropped to the ground immediately. The alligator was in hot pursuit, and I ran in hopes to get enough speed to fly again, but failed. This swamp is looking super realistic now, and the water is so murky....."shit, he may be in there". I backed off and kept heading around it. There were all these the trees were covered with webbing and had banana spiders all in them. Every web I broke, had then crawling upwards into the tree tops. It's too silly to turn around now, but dang....there's no telling if any of these other spiders are nonvenomous. I saw a really big green one and I didn't know what it was....then a big red one. Then the trees started looking like spiders themselves. "REALLY!?" I woke myself up.

Allen and I were going to a music festival of some sort that had a mansion in the middle of a field. We both brought our staffs to spin. I was really nervous about spinning in front of people so we found a secluded area hidden by some trees. We spun for a few minutes, I wasn’t doing very good but I wasn’t dropping it or anything. I could see DJ Pauley D from the Jersey shore looking at us from stage near a pool. His hair looked long, like Steve Aoki. I saw the “Situation” sitting at a table with some girls and I cracked a joke about his hair cut to Allen. We both started laughing and Allen called him a jack ass. Pauley D’s body guard came over to us and said that he was a huge fan of ours. I was shocked to hear this, that I had become a famous spinner. Apparently my spinning name (which no, I do not have one in real life) was Crystal Method (like the musician). Allen was just as surprised as me about our new found fame. His name apparently was Mini Method and that really upset him. I tried to comfort him by saying that it was supposed to be funny, like how biggy smalls was so big and yet called small. Allen is 6’5 and yet his spinning name was mini. He wasn’t amused by my connection.
*memory laps*
Allen becomes really short and fat. We got into some sort of fight on some bleachers and he walked off. I cant remember much of this dream other than the fact that we both had staffs in our hands and that my surroundings were very strange. We were on bleachers but it also appeared that we were under some too. There was many layers of many bleachers and we were somewhat trapped inside them.

I was driving home from work and I was having a really tough time controlling my car. The freeway was far more complex than usual. There were many lanes, twisting and spiraling into each other. My exit contained 3 potential ways to go and I chose the wrong one. I went to turn back around and get on the right one but the police were blocking the easy exit. I pulled up to an exit they were allowing and I knew that I would die if tried it. The road shot straight up into the air a few stories with no side railing before shooting straight back down. I watched a car go about 100mph and make it but I was convinced I would not be so lucky. It was like something out of a Dr. Souse book. I pulled over to a park and began to look for my phone to call Allen. When I couldn’t find my phone I grew panicked and was on the verge of tears. I felt like I would never be able to go home again (a little dramatic I see now). I got out of my car and walked to the center of a park. It was warm and sunny out. A gay men couple walked up to me and introduced themselves and their 3 adopted small children. They were all so polite and sweet. One of them said they were about to go “lift-a-sailing” and wanted to know if I would like to join. Basically there was a giant chairlift that you would see at a ski lift but it didn’t require any machinery. It flew in the sky in all directions really quickly. I said okay and I hopped on. We but a safety bar in front of us and it took off before I could put on my seatbelt. It was flying super high and flashes of light from the sun were blinding me. I was laughing and squalling like if I were on a roller coaster but it was even more fun than that. After a while I got my seatbelt on and the ride was becoming more mild and relaxing. It was moving forward smoothly. One of the men said that they could fly me home if I wished and I quickly said yes and thanked them. My last memory of this is seeing the highway in the distance and rolling green hills under me. The sun was straight ahead as we drifted towards home. I was overwhelmed with an extreme sense of calm.

Was hanging out with cloe in newcastle area. We kept walking up and down this big paved hill. I remember that we were smoking cigs (funny because I don't smoke) and talking shit about people. She was planning on having her boyfriend come over for an hour and she needed me to leave them alone. The two of them went off to her bedroom. I then realized I left my purse in her room and didn't know how to fill an hour with no phone, keys, or cigs (which for some reason I was craving). Then raechels mom appeared and told me that she wanted me to join her and her family on their yearly family vacation to Hawaii. I was really excited and I started packing. I randomly had a closet at cloes house filled with cute dresses. I shoved tons of them into a lv bag. For some reason I thought they were super christian and I packed a weird church like dress in the bag too. I remember laughing uncontrollably to myself while doing it.
One last weird detail, my like 00 yr old grandmother learned to float and was better then me at it. I was super jealous and felt like a fool*

Last night their were two dream fragments that i remember but they don't make to much sense.
The first thing i was in a car going to my friend Sean's house. I said "Wait i cant go there his parents hate me." When we got there seconds later we went inside and his mom was smiling at me.I don't remember what happened before or after that.

This was really short and barley worth writing about but my-swell. I remember walking up the stairs that lead up to the 8th grade wing at my school. I was talking with my friend Micheal but i forget what about. Thats about it. Hopefully tonight I will have more memorable dreams like I usually do.

I've had many dreams... The first one is just a small fragment. I went into a public bathroom with my girlfriend, there was a line. Everything was dirty and broken, there were about five stalls, but two or three weren't working. Then, one of the girls started mocking another girl who was pooping. All the girls started making fun of her, it was like they knew each other.

The second dream is longer. I was on a bus, my dad was driving it and there were many people inside. I saw some black clouds and thought there could be a tornado. Then I remembered we don't have those in Brazil, so I figured it might just be a storm. As soon as I thought that, I realised I was in the US, so I was like "OMG, it could really be a tornado!!!"

While I was thinking that, I saw a playground and suddenly a hole opened on the floor and a toy fell. It was like a earthquake had happened, and my dad sped up. I checked as we drove by and there were no kids playing there at the time. That made me feel better. As my dad kept driving, we saw lots of holes appearing, not close to us, we could see it happening miles away.

We arrived at a hotel and I told my parents they had to hold my hands. If they did that, they'd be safe, but they wouldn't listen to me. My dad had mentioned that all the holes were appearing on the same road, so I decided to go online and google it. As I was leaving to "my" room, I noticed my dad was acting weird, so I told him he shouldn't go crazy. He laughed in a weird way that freaked me out.

I woke up... inside the dream. I was afraid of it being a false awakening, so I did a reality check that had worked the other day: I looked at the mirror. Turns out that, whenever I decided to do a reality check, my mind tricks me. I was completely myself in the mirror, so I was like "cool, let me write down this dream", but then I decided to google the road my had talked about. As I was turning on the computer, my dad randomly tried to get into my room through the window and he was laughing... he sounded demented. I freaked out and...

...woke up. This time for good. My heart was beating fast and I was scared as hell.

My last dream wasn't short, but I can only remember one small thing. I was talking to a friend of mine and he gave me a CD. He told me he had burnt his presentation for a class in there and that he wanted me to see it. I said I would, I put it on and the presentation was happening in a cave. And I woke up.

And that's it!

2:59am: i had somehow acquired a brown horse. i rode the horse while walking my dog, who wasn’t frightened of it like she is with horses in real life. in this dream i was living with my boyfriend, so the walking we did was in his neighborhood as opposed to mine. for some reason i decided to make Twitter accounts for both the horse and my dog.

after i write this one down i fall back asleep.

?am: i was watching a new episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. there was an invasion of dragons in Ponyville, who lived in normal modern-day houses and some wore modern clothes. Discord came back as well, and when the mane 6 attempted to confront him, he put Rarity and Twilight to sleep and made Rainbow Dash retarded. Rarity and Twilight, not yet fully asleep but very groggy, stagger back to the library where they decide that taking a bath might help, but they collapse on the floor before they can get into the bathtub. meanwhile Fluttershy was attempting to stand up to one of the dragons.

somewhere between 5:30am-6am: i was walking my dog through the apartment complex next to my neighborhood like i usually do. we stop when we hear a strange, faint trilling sound. suddenly two male deer come rushing around a building straight for us. we duck out of the way and they stop in a grassy area behind where we were originally standing. the sound repeats; and two female deer also almost trample us to join the males. a few seconds later their handlers appear (the ones who were making the sound to attract the deer), a man and a woman, and begin showing off the deer to interested bystanders.

i reach out and begin stroking one of the deer’s fur, and it rears up on its hind legs and wraps its front legs around my waist. i think that its hugging me and say so; one of the handlers then tells me that its trying to dominance mount me.

i leave and am now walking along the dirt path alongside the drainage ditch that separates my neighborhood from the apartment complex. i run into one of my coworkers who is also walking her dogs (which she doesn’t have in real life), a very small black chubby dog and a medium-sized black/white/brown dog that behaves aggressively around Angel. i ask my coworker if she knew who the deer handlers were. she doesn’t but does know that they usually bring llamas to the apartments to show off and entertain people with instead of deer.