non-lucid

Dream - Lucid

I was in my room. There were lots of people in there with me, mostly people around my age. I also remember my brother being there. It was nighttime outside. Looking out the window, the weather looked really tumultuous. I remember all the lights being off in my room.

I then remember something about a tornado, or maybe it was just a tornado drill that we were supposed to be doing. I remember a girl, who was "new" (new to what, I'm not sure). She suggested that we have a "cake party". The places she suggested that we have it were very strange, like at a Winn Dixie, and there was another place she mentioned, but I can't remember it right now. No one thought it was a good idea, and no one wanted to participate. I remember something at this point about being in my closet.

Then, my friend Tori came up to me and said that if one of us had presented the "cake party" idea, which was originally Tori's anyway, more people would have been in on it. It had something to do with the way the new girl had presented it.

I then remember seeing Ziggy, my old cat (we put him to sleep about 7 years ago in waking life). I remember seeing him in our kitchen. I pet him. He meowed. I thought to myself "He looks so young, healthy, and full of life!" (I think something along these lines every time I dream of him). He ran around, jumping off of walls and doors. He seemed so vibrant! I pet him some more and listened to his meow.

A backnote on Ziggy: Ziggy was my friend for years, until we put him down (he was very old and sick). He was my protector, in a sense. I felt like he was a guardian angel to me almost. I miss him dearly.

Ecstasy Field Trip

I've just done ecstasy somewhere. I'm in Barnes and Nobles, a bookstore. I "forget" that I'm on ecstasy and just feel really, really stoned. My school is here and we're on some kind of field trip.

I'm being shown a science demo. An older guy is holding a glass full of some kind of liquid. When he tips the glass a certain way, the liquid drips out the bottom in a gelatinous manner. He tells me to touch it but I'm really sicked out by it and a little afraid.
Where the magazines usually are in the store, there is a big empty floor. A few people are sitting around in a circle. I stay here and enjoy how stoned I am until a lady who seems to be in charge of the whole thing tells us to go to the Blank Journals Section.
I follow the crowd into an area with the sections: blank journals, pseudo science, and Japan. We form a circle around these shelves. I'm standing next to the Japan books but I want to be by the pseudo science books so I make a little leap around the shelf to do so.

Suddenly I remember I'm on ecstasy and go over to a music box. It's playing really soft music. I wonder how different music will make me feel so I press a little square with fractal album work on it. I don't hear the music change and feel no different.



I walk around to the children's book section. The mentally disabled kids are hanging out here. A teacher begins to laugh at me and says I have an overbite. I realize that my teeth are hanging out of my mouth. It feels like I had fake plastic teeth over my real teeth for a long time and now I'm conscious of my actual mouth. It's bizarre and the feeling doesn't go away.


Homeless Shelter

I have no body or consciousness. I am watching my dream.

My friend Pehry is in the homeless shelter. He's fighting with another boy. The boy says he wants to have a physical fight downtown in a half hour, and Pehry goes along with it. There's a mediator, an older women. She doesn't make him say no, and follows him as he walks downtown.

I am now myself. I am walking around near the homeless shelter. I'm with Heather. Under my arm I'm carrying several rolled up colorful mats. We're dropping them off here.

Heather is afraid to go in so I walk up to the place. I remember that it's only available for homeless people to go into at night, so I wonder if I can get in. I knock on the door and it swings in my direction, locking me between the door and the outside wall. It swings back in, I hop over the other way and knock again. I enter.

A few ladies are here cleaning the place. It smells like cat litter. There's a calendar with a family photo as the month's picture. One lady comes up to me and asks what I want, politely.

I explain to her I have a few "yoga mats'' she can have for the shelter. She replies rather excitedly but then questions if she needs them. I realize they aren't yoga mats but actually mats for sitting on while you draw with chalk outside. You put the chalk on the mats so the pieces don't roll away. I don't tell her this.


The Mansion

For whatever reason, I am walking into a big mansion home owned by a girl I went to high school with briefly. I'm wearing my hat really strangely but don't seem to mind.

She greets me like we were really good friends and I do the same to her. We walk around her house and I ask her if it's haunted. She says "sometimes". Her boyfriend is a really gangster dude, very unlike her, and walks around us to go to the bathroom. She lets me wander around her house.

I look up the stairs that are in front of me and see the silhouette of the bathroom. I see a rat fall out of her boyfriend's jeans. I go over to her and tell her this. When he flushes the toilet, the rat falls down the pipe and lands in a box under the stairs. She "changes reality" and when I open the box, its just an outline of the rat. She kind of winks at me.

I get a ride home from here with Jack and Heather. The road is really torn up and we hit all the bad sections at high speeds, making us airborne for a moment. He drops me off at home.

I play the sims and make the Brady Bunch's house. The girl calls my phone and asks if I want to hang out, but its like 11 at night and I don't have a ride. I tell her this and feel really bad.

First dream:

I was in a hotel room, and I'm somehow attempting to cheat in the lottery, to win the big prize. I have no idea how I was attempting to do it, but I was. I am concerned that my dad has figured me out, but I never see him. Suddently I'm at my parents house with one of my friends, and he is bleeding from his ear.

Second dream:

I'm at a weird place I've never been to before. I'm sitting in a sofa watching a movie, and a big turtle in the movie starts talking to me. I don't remember what it said. Suddenly I'm in World of Warcraft walking around, talking to dwarves. Then I was back in the sofa, and I see one of my friends cycling on a exercising bike. I go to him and see that he is reading a blue book. I ask him if it's the lucid dreaming book that I also have, but he tells me it's Harry Potter 4. Really annoyed that I didn't realize that this was a dream at this point! I woke up just after.

Third dream:

I'm in a church, which for some reason is also my home. Some of my friends walk in the door, and one of them desperately needs to hide his laptop, so he climbs up on my desk, and hides it in a window sill. Some more of my friends come in, and we talk. I dont remember what we talked about. Suddently I'm at a supermarket, buying fries, vegetables and meatballs. I grab a bag of meatballs and a boy comes over to me, and tells me they taste really good. His father walks over and agrees with his son.

Thats all, pretty happy about recalling 3 dreams in 1 night. And dreaming about my lucid dreaming book is also progress I would say!

Jacob.

I am at Pavel’s or Barbara’s house. The whole setting is about me having some arguments with Emil, Barbara’s uncle. At one point I want to go to the toilet (number 2). The bathroom is where the bedroom on the first floor is in Pavel’s grandmother house. I go there and lock the door, but I can’t. I can hear Emil coming downstairs so I pretend that I am not going toilet and start having a go at him. So as we argue, I try to sort it out psychologically, to find a common way. But he is stubborn and aggressive so I punch him several times in the face. I can feel how nicely the fist landed on his face. (This is different from most of the dream fights, as I normally feel as if I missed or so). Even though he is aggressive, I can sense good deal of respect from him. (What I like about my dream self that I have no fear at all and react fairly masculine to situations like this.)

I'm in a hotel of some sort. I was staying on the fourth floor (I know this because when I opened my door it said "04.012"). In and around the hotel people were working (moving stuff and painting, stuff like that). There was this girl that appeared to be my girlfriend. We teased each other a bit, then we kissed. The next moment she came around the corner with a friend of hers who was weeping. A family member had died. For some reason I had to kiss my girlfriend's hand (it was tradition, which I didn't know). When I didn't really knew why she put her hand out she looked at me in a weird way. The next moment she was standing with a couple of her girlfriends. I joined them, she made a joke about me. I played that I was mad, and left for my hotelroom, hoping she would follow me. I sensed she was following me, the dream then faded and I woke up.

Sorry, weird dream.

I took a nap this evening and had a dream that was grotesquely gory (yet strangely beautiful [in a sense]). I was pretty much watching myself tear through my flesh with a gun (a MAC-10 I beleive? Idk, something automatic) and then eventually dying once I was nothing more than a mound of sopping flesh. Not nearly as pretty a sight as it sounds, I assure you. The dream then went on and kind of showed me a "what if" and gave me a rundown of various things I was missing out on now that I was dead. The dream ended with me and this girl that I'm almost, kinda, sorta, not really but in a sense I am with in real life. I think. Yeah... I don't get it either. I get the feeling like I'm "just a friend" but then there are times where it seems like it's more than that. As if she wasn't hard enough to read already, now there's this other guy that she kind of seems to have a thing for as well. Oh god, what if I'm one of those pathetic saps that don't realize they're being strung along... Does this mean I have to start laughing at myself now? D: It's complicated and you probably don't even care so I'm not going to go into it any further. Anyways, the dream replayed my first kiss which was with her a while back.

Not the most pleasant dream I've had, rather disturbing actually, but I enjoyed it nonetheless because of the rush of relief that followed when I woke up.

Mom and i where making a bed, it had a white bed sheet and a green blanket over it that we where putting on. Mom told me that her dad inspected her bed and if it wasn't right he would yell and scream at her. The dream ended.

I was at Anthony's house from school. He and I where standing in the living room, I don't remember much of what it looked like. He asked me if I wanted to play Doom on Playstation, but stupid ole me didn't know what Doom or Playstation was. We walked into his room, I remember seeing a carpet palish white in color and white walls. For some odd reason I wasn't wearing my shoes which I wear everywhere but the shower and my bed. He sat down on the floor cross legged, I sat down to his right with my legs folded under me facing him. The dream ended.

At first my dream started off with me getting off the bus to go stay at some house with two girls. I don't know why I was staying there it just was kind of like instict. We walked off the bus and the girl said something like it's only a little stroll to the house. Soon we got close, we had walked behind the whole forest to find a hidden house, it had blue shutters and doors. We enetered the house and immediatley her grandma came out of the bathroom and walked away. Then the dream skipped.

I was now on a bus with one of my friends in irl sitting beside me. I sat there quietly as the bus made a stop. Some people loaded on and we were on our way again. I noticed one of the persons was one of my good friends. They walked toward me, however they began to talk to my friend beside me. Then randomly she grabbed my hands and it felt so real, I could feel everything. Afterwards she said she had to go and got off the bus. Then the bus made a random stop and I got off of it. The bus drove off, however I decided to look behind me and I saw the bus crash and immediatley burst into a flaming wreck. I thought to myself at least my one friend got off safely. I immediatley ran towards a car with a man inside. Somehow I was now in Britian and everybody had british accents. I asked him if he could dial the emergency number, since I didn't know what it was in Britian. He ended up dialing 8967 or 8968. Nothing happened and I randomly forgot about the bus at that point. Then some other DCs came up and wanted to test us on our knowledge about different types of molds. The molds were handed out and I told them that I hadn't learned half of these in science class. Actually irl I dint know anything about molds and we definatley never had a science class about mold. SOnn after, the dream ended.

Just to remind you, always remember to have incredibly sweet dreams.

I was inside some kind of huge mall building with many semi-mossy stone walls in the inside. I'm sitting on a wooden bench attached to one of these walls in the middle of a square area looking after a younger version of my little sister when two girls from my year at school walk past. Let's call the Caitlin and Georgia, the latter of the two i barely know in real life. So Georgia comes up to me and asks if I've already been asked to go with someone this October. At first I didn't know what she meant, but then I thought of the school ball (which in reality my year can't go to until next year) and said no, I haven't been asked. I then say did you want to go with me? She sheepishly nods and says "Yeah". So I reply "Yeah for sure I'd like to go with you, it'll be nice." She smiles and blushes and says "Thanks" to which I reply "No worries". She then walks back to Caitlin and I assume she tells her our conversation because then Georgia looks over to me and I smile, making her giggle flirtaciously. I then walk up to them and say to Georgia "I guess I'll see you then" and they then walk off and I hear Caitlin saying I'm 'such a kiwi bloke'

The dream started with me back in high school sitting in the cafeteria listening to a speech from my principal. I kept talking to my friends and making jokes and he started to get pissed. He kept telling me to be quiet and pay attention. After the 3rd time he was like Derrick come over here right now, I walked over and he was like so do you wanna swordfight me? In the dream I knew he was a master swordsman, but I was like sure I'll do it looking for some entertainment. We walked over to the middle of the area and I saw two fencing outfits and two swords. The fencing outfits had nothing to do with the swords, the swords were quite long and flexible and bended when you swung them it was like in this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbz8U...eature=related And no the fighting wasn't like this lol and we weren't wearing strange clothes, anddd we didn't have shields.

Anyway there is what we call "the pit" at our school and its a mini amphitheater we were fighting inside that, and all i remember is the sword was very flexible and foreign. It felt like he was literally trying to kill me but I was confident in my dream so I didn't die. He kept cutting my hands with the blade and I could feel the sting. The fighting was very vivid I felt every blow and every strike I took and was thinking about the next moves I was going to make to beat him. My hands were way too cut up so I changed my plan, he was wearing a neck brace so he had limited movement in his vision and he could hardly move his head at a large angle. I ran through the crowd of people around to the back side of him and sliced him in the back. He once again found out my plan and started to throw powerful blows at me. We were about 10 feet away from eachother and that's when my fighting skills all of the sudden increased and I became aware of how to fight. I blocked his attacks with counter blows of the same force to knock his rhythm off. Once again I circled around him to get into his blind spot, this time he fled into a nearby elevator before he got into it I swung my whip blade and hit a pure gold watch off of his hand. I grabbed it and threw it inside the elevator as he started going up. I won the fight

After that I remember talking to him and him saying how good of a fighter I was and that I had great potential. He also thanked me for giving his watch back. And that was the end and a bunch of other less consistent dreams appeared after that.

26.04.2011

No Big Get-Off (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

*Sexually explicit (though rather clinical, lol. No big get-off to be had here :p)
*Rough draft

Visuals took over my meditation. I wasn’t that tired, this has been happening lately. I want to research this. It kind of feels like falling asleep but sometimes I’m aware of my body and the binaural water sounds I’m listening to as well. Maybe sleep paralysis? I really should read up.

Walking in my home
I used to live with a man here but I broke up with him, I think
I see some items that are colorful, 3 that go together
I'm in the bed we used to sleep in together. I lay around a bit. At one point looking out the large window and the white light barely tinted with blue.

I decide to give head to myself
Wondering if I’d like the taste
The taste wasn’t very obvious; it was fine
I want to try different things
I’m reacting to it and can feel it at the same time
I see my hips lift, but I feel like I'm laying below myself at the same time with my head between my legs, of course. :p
It was pretty clinical. I was figuring out my anatomy and pleasure reactions more than really trying to get off.
Kinda tentative at first
Licking it feels nice but too general
Sucking on my clit is pretty pleasurable I think
Pressing my chin onto it
The general pressure feels very good, like I could eventually cum like that
Hips lifting in reaction to the pleasure I’m giving myself
Pressing hard makes my chin and pubic bone pretty sore, but my clit is happy. I stop the chin method
grazing my teeth against my clit feels like a bit of a stab of pleasure, a bit too intense but a nice “jump start” to be used occasionally
Nibbling my clit with my teeth feels too sharp

A man comes over and we’re going to a concert together, some alternative rock group I used to like pretty well in high school but wasn’t that crazy about

Got into the car with one of the guys who came to my house, we’re driving together. I’m driving, and the other guy has another car. He is a bit surly. We go to the corner convenience store. Something somewhat significant happens inside (with the man at the counter? I was watching through the window?)

I remember I have to get something for the concert, a set of 3 items that pertain to the band. The items are important. One was a kind of book. They were like a key to something and would be recognized (by the band?). The surly guy was annoyed. I brushed his annoyance off.

We had time, there would be an opening band, I imagined and told the guy in my car. He agreed and said something about me being on top of the planning. I questioned that I was, thinking I had procrastinated and that I was lucky there is probably an opening band which I hadn’t taken into account before. I thought that if there wasn’t an opening band we’d be late.

Driving into my old small curved driveway (where I lived in waking life in high school). When entering it I focus on its small entrance and how it is pretty awkward to veer into it but I do. A tree has overgrown but I pull up enough for the guy in the car behind to have easier access to the house's door as well. The tree’s branches come into the window and they’re more solid than I’d thought. They kinda hurt and I wonder about being able to open the door.

I had the 3 items I think, got to the concert, there are different rooms/areas
The concert hasn’t started in the main, larger area. The opening group will play in a smaller room that we go to. There are chain link fences. I sit on the bleachers. I am alone, the man has gone off somewhere and will come back and I think the surly guy left a bit before that.

Old school, old teacher, Claudia and another
Claudia was being strict about the students sitting in rows of two. Katie, a student, kept sitting where she wanted over and over. Claudia kept correcting/directing her. Katie seemed like she was somewhat unconscious of her actions, and also quietly (subconsciously, perhaps) angry and dismissing, like she was telling them to leave her the hell alone silently.

I didn’t have a very good seat. I'm in the section to the side of the area where the students were sitting. The other teacher (Leigh?) called my name as if I was still a student. I knew it was a better seat and she gave me a look like she knew I wasn’t supposed to be grouped with them but she was going to pretend she didn’t and make an exception so I could have a better seat. After a couple moments’ hesitation I stood, picked up my backpack and another item, and went to go sit there. Claudia noticed and said something. The other teacher gave a vague argument about why I should be fine sitting there. Claudia was strict, enforced the rules. Leigh gave me a subtly exasperated look mixed with a c'est la vie look about Claudia. I kinda shrugged and sat back down and felt a little embarrassed in front of the students.

I saw a man I had dream memories of. We had been around each other regularly. He was like Adam (a man who had been a gay porn star I used to be friendly with in waking life. We always had a fun time, joking and being silly and also emotionally and physically affectionate. He had one of those vibrant, open personalities that didn’t seem needy, more just loving. He did little things, like when I was a waitress and had been serving him and his life partner, he poked his head into the back of the restaurant where I was making espressos and handed me the folded-up tip all furtive-like. He whispered matter-of-factly, “thanks for the blowjob.”, turned, and went back to his table. Leaving me cracking up. Very deadpan and playful at the same time, so much fun.) So, this dream character had the spirit of Adam and looked like Ozzy Osbourne (they are a bit similar in looks in some ways in waking life).

I recalled dream memories of being around him daily because of people we were friends with. They seemed rich and extravagant. He and I would peripherally interact in these memories and there was a sadness there too, like we were sad we had a lot of distance between us. When I saw him at the concert, he was guarded emotionally. I initiated talking with him and he was hesitant. I told him I miss seeing him every day. He started to warm up and we linked arms and walked as we talked. He was surprised I missed him, saying “you did?” and I could feel him melting. I reaffirmed that I did. He warmed up a little more and invited me on a skiing trip and started to name-drop a bit about people who would be there (in real life he spent time and was close to famous people and he, or at least they, tended to like to name drop). It felt kinda cold and superficial, but I was excited at the prospect of going at the same time.

Our walking took us down, into what felt like the basement/garage of this amphitheater. He wanted to show it to me.

annoyed at waste, men working

Trenches for planks of wood, band members one of whom was shooting up

I’m outdoors, walking on a long balcony. Men to my left in rooms working on projects (with saws and whatnot…you know, picking up heavy objects and putting them back down) My thumb caught on a round electric saw attached to and hanging over the balcony’s railing. The tooth of the saw was slightly deformed and it was caught on my thumb without scraping much. I carefully extract my thumb so as not to cut myself more and reflect on that. The saw feels like it almost has a hold on it.There is some pain.

Grey’s anatomy short black doctor woman "Nazi" and another familiar but not famous woman had been trying to flag me down before then with some papers she wanted me to sign. I had seen but had been doing some other things. She expressed annoyance. I held my boundaries and stayed good natured.The solid short woman took my thumb; it was bleeding. Her finger came close to touching the cut/scrape like she was fascinated. I pulled it away before she could touch it and was like, don’t touch it! Um, aren’t you like a doctor? She kinda shrugged and looked to the side.

I felt emotionally strong in this dream
Another man (a doctor?) asks me out. I wasn’t expecting him too. I felt comfortable and wanted him to. He was kind of constrained but I understood why.

Cousin, aunt/CJ/Diane Hamilton interruption of me and the man.

At that point I lost the sense of emotional expression balanced with a calm and acceptance stance toward my emotions that held their intensity in check without trying to. I got angry and quiet.

Woke breathing hard, angry…with Charles in Charge theme song going through my mind, lmao. It is still being sung in my mind as I write this. Joy…*crazy face*

Oh, and my thumb still kind of hurts. When I picked up my laptop to write this the pressure and roughness of the cushion exacerbated the pain a bit.

I just had to record this dream because it was so very strange and creepy. I wish I could remember all the details..

I was in an old building and had to use the bathroom but I noticed this old man following me. I tried to ignore him and locked myself in a stall but something didn't feel quite right. I looked around and saw the old man peeking out at me from the top of the stall! Right when I looked at him he looked away and pretended to be gone, which was stupid. I went out of the stall and starting running away from him and he started chasing me around the building. I wish I could remember more details but here is were I blanked.. I don't know what happened but I think he apologized to me and he seemed like a good man again to me for some reason and I fell in love with him. We were together and happy. The end. Creepy, huh?

i was angry, my brother did something to me. i was so angry that i didnt care about anything but getting the anger out.
so i took my computer monitor(19), as he was walking downstairs, i dropped the monitor right on him, from upstairs.
the monitor splintered on impact, not really hurting my brother.
i was still angry, even for a while i didnt regret what i had done, until i wanted to go on my computer. but in the end everything was good, i ended up getting a whole new computer, a fancy one whit

then in woke up discovering it was all just a dream, realising that i was stuck with my old shit.

Dream Journal #1 May 4th, 2011

didn’t remember much of my dreams last night… they were very vague. i still haven’t managed to go lucid, i think i fell asleep. one of the very first dreams i remember last night was seeing people from my school such as danette hampton and tyler. tyler was wearing dillans jacket? and im pretty sure tyler was in at least 2 of my 3 dreams. craazy. he could be a dream sign, especially if he was wearing dillans jacket. i was in physics class, and tyler was in my seat with dillans jacket. i seemed to get pissed at him for being there, so me and lukas forced him out of my seat and i think? i karate chopped him in the stomach and he was like oww or something. lol. my mind went blank from there, i dont really remember what happened after that. i woke up, it was around 1:00 am, did a reality check. phone was working, clock was right, drank some water and went back to bed to try to WILD.

2nd dream i was having flashes of this one girl cynthia mendez, and i was making out with her. i tried to feel her body and everything and i told myself, “this is a dream” and everything went black and i woke up. i don’t know if i went lucid or not because that dream wasn’t very vivid… it was just images in my head. there was no setting or anything, just her face. there might have been other girls faces popping up in my head… but i don’t remember. woke up again, was 3:00 am. did another reality check. i tried to turn off the fan that was in front of my face and the switch broke, and i was like “…” but i realized i was still in reality. so i just turned the fan away and went back to sleep

3rd and final dream i remember (i think), wasnt that vivid either. i dont remember much of it.. all i remember was asking jae (another person from my school) if he had any superpowers??? im not sure if i asked him if it was about superpowers… my mind is fading on this dream, i thought i remembered it quite well before i started writing this lol. anyways, he said yes, and all his friends turned into autobots and they combined together to form this giant transformer. in the back of my head i was like “im dreaming” again, and everything went black and my concious woke up even though my eyes were still closed. blah this is so frusturating, my dreams don’t seem vivid enough to be lucid. i don’t know if i’m not doing it at the right time, like if i’m missing my REM cycle and im trying to be lucid during nREM.

i remember black gaps in between my dreams, and im not sure if i was dreaming during those black gaps. oh well, im constantly doing reality checks even though i know im in reality, just to practice lol.

edit: Just remembered @ around 9:55 am today that I had another dream. this one, i believe, happened during my REM, probably because i remember it as being more vivid than the others. it still wasn’t THAT vivid, but just a tad more. i was in someones house, it looked like my uncles house. in what was supposed to be the kitchen, there was a computer, and there was another computer in the living room. my friend from school (again) named steven was here with me, and we were playing some sort of game. i dont remember the game exactly, but i know it was either this or that. my cousin alvin might have been in the dream too.. im not exactly sure. then i think the dream switched. i was in front of the house now on the lawn. and for some odd reason, i had to move a white car out of the way. i don’t know why i had to move it or for what reason, but i eventually moved it onto the grass of the front lawn. i hit a brick where it seperated the flowers from the grass, and i tried to turn away from it and keep moving forward, but i ended up making a loud noise (i believe). then i saw my dad look out the front window (it was late at night) and i could tell he was like “wtf?”. so i went inside the house and my mom and dad were there questioning me about idk what. from there, the dream went blank. at no time at all during this dream had i ever wondered if i was dreaming. i didn’t even remember this dream at all until i started driving to school, then it hit me, and i was like whoah. haha.